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Mike Eats Toast is the funniest thing ever · Johnjay & Rich On Demand

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  Speaker 1: Second update, the guy didn't call her back because he
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: was grossed out. He was ACKed aicked by some of
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  Speaker 1: her behavior in bed, So we wanted to get into
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  Speaker 1: We got into icks a little bit dating first day
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  Speaker 1: the cks you got one, braiden.
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  Speaker 2: I do.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm fairly certain I gave a girl. I went
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  Speaker 3: on a date with the ick. Basically we went out
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  Speaker 3: to dinner, and I unfortunately suffered from chronic nose blades.
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  Speaker 3: So uh, I just thought something must have been happening
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  Speaker 3: that that. I guess because I kept getting them and
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  Speaker 3: by the third one had to call it off.
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  Speaker 4: Those bleeds on one date sad.
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  Speaker 2: And also I feel her because like you're in tripping
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  Speaker 2: blood at the date.
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  Speaker 3: No, I definitely understand why.
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  Speaker 2: What a bummer though, because you can't control it.
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  Speaker 4: Does anything in particular bring it on? Were you stressed
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  Speaker 4: out or what usually causes like he's in the bathroom right.
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  Speaker 3: Normally just a certain certain bary masterric pressure. I don't know, man,
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  Speaker 3: It's crazy, Okay.
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  Speaker 1: So I thought we were gonna get calls from people
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  Speaker 1: that were saying, you know, this person did something and
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  Speaker 1: icked me out. You're you're the person. You can admit
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  Speaker 1: you're the ick like you're I mean, it's right. So
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  Speaker 1: you're on a date, you get a chronic nosebleed and
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  Speaker 1: and she now ghosts you. It's kind of sad because
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  Speaker 1: you think I would think that there's a medical answer
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  Speaker 1: to that, like more zinc or something or iron or
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  Speaker 1: what is blood? There must be there must be something
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  Speaker 1: that you could take for that. I have to don't
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  Speaker 1: right or I mean, or is that something you have
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  Speaker 1: a disease?
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  Speaker 2: It's something you a disease, right?
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  Speaker 5: No?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you know, like there's a condition, right or
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  Speaker 1: something like something like that, because I know people that
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  Speaker 1: get nosebleeds a lot, but I don't know if it's
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  Speaker 1: chronic or it could be the air the outage is near,
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  Speaker 1: you get a dry nose, you know, maybe afrin can
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  Speaker 1: help you.
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  Speaker 2: No spray.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, they say it's a but I've been doing it
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  Speaker 1: every day for ten years. I'm all right, Braden, Well,
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  Speaker 1: thanks for sharing that act.
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  Speaker 6: Thank you.
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  Speaker 1: Poor guy Hayley, you have a dating a first date, I.
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  Speaker 6: I sure do. This was crazy. So I talked to
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  Speaker 6: this guy on an online dating app. We met for
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  Speaker 6: the first time at just middle of the day lunch.
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  Speaker 6: Totally cool and a few minutes into the conversation, after
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  Speaker 6: he got to know me a little bit, he looks
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  Speaker 6: me straight dead in the eyes and goes, you would
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  Speaker 6: be abducted, And of course I was like, I'm sorry
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  Speaker 6: what And come to find out that he was a
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  Speaker 6: doomsday prepper and because he found out that I had
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  Speaker 6: skill by being in the medical profession and a veteran,
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  Speaker 6: he went off about how my skills would get me
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  Speaker 6: abducted because everybody would want to keep me as part
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  Speaker 6: of their like post apocalyptic.
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  Speaker 4: Right away. For a guy like that, that is a compliment. Probably,
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  Speaker 4: oh you get you get stolen into.
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  Speaker 2: This, But if you're her, it's definitely a nick oh
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  Speaker 2: for sure. Like are you trying to duck to me?
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  Speaker 5: So crazy?
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  Speaker 3: That's what I thought.
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  Speaker 6: I was like, I'm nervous.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, he's making a list of people he's
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  Speaker 4: going to take.
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  Speaker 2: So how did it end? Did he walk you to
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  Speaker 2: your car to your house in the dark?
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  Speaker 6: No, Luckily, it was the middle of the day and
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  Speaker 6: I was trying to get out of there. He kept
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  Speaker 6: ordering cups of coffee, y'all. It went forever, But I
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  Speaker 6: never looked back, never had him again. I don't think
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  Speaker 6: he knows where I live.
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  Speaker 2: Good. Thanks Haley, thanks for sharing that with us. Thank you, Carly.
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  Speaker 2: You've got a dating story.
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  Speaker 7: Yes they do.
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  Speaker 2: What happened?
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  Speaker 5: Oh?
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  Speaker 7: Okay, So this was probably about five or six years ago,
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  Speaker 7: but I went on a date, met somebody for the
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  Speaker 7: first time off of a dating app, and the conversation
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  Speaker 7: was just pretty bizarre, and somehow he got on the
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  Speaker 7: topic of what he eats, and he told me he's
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  Speaker 7: a pretty pick eater and that every day at work
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  Speaker 7: for lunch, eats toast for lunch, which I thought was
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  Speaker 7: kind of bizarre, but he went on to tell me
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  Speaker 7: that his job is very stressful and the toast is
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  Speaker 7: comforting to him, and that for the last five or
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  Speaker 7: six years he's been.
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  Speaker 5: Eating toast for lunch, and that for.
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  Speaker 7: The last year or so he'd been putting salad dressing
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  Speaker 7: on his toast. So I asked him, you know, why
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  Speaker 7: are you using salad dressing? And he said, well, one
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  Speaker 7: day I ran out of butter, and I decided I
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  Speaker 7: liked it, and I asked him if he ever switches
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  Speaker 7: it up, and he told me that he basically switches
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  Speaker 7: out the bread sometimes and then sometimes he uses creamy
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  Speaker 7: Italian and sometimes it's creamy Caesar. So it just was
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  Speaker 7: really weird. And I mean he talked about it for
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  Speaker 7: so long that I actually ended up recording.
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  Speaker 5: It on my voice app and I actually looked at.
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  Speaker 7: It yesterday and I was like, oh my gosh, it
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  Speaker 7: was just the conversation kept continuing, really weird.
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  Speaker 2: Is it crystal Clear? Like? Can we have that voice AUP?
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  Speaker 5: Can we play it? I?
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  Speaker 7: Probably, but I don't know how to do it while
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  Speaker 7: I'm on the phone with you. I can send it
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  Speaker 7: to you probably and you're inbox or something.
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  Speaker 2: They'd be funny. Is it crystal Clear? Like you hear
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  Speaker 2: him saying, well, you know, let's just like toast.
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  Speaker 7: Yeah, And actually, I mean I was kind of leading
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  Speaker 7: the questions.
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  Speaker 5: Because I went on for so long that.
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  Speaker 7: I exactly went on for so long that I, you know,
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  Speaker 7: was like, Okay, tell me again, how did this happen?
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  Speaker 5: And he was just like, oh, you know, and then
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  Speaker 5: he just.
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  Speaker 7: Said I get so stressed out and Mike needs toast
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  Speaker 7: and he referred to himself in the third person. So yeah,
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  Speaker 7: So yeah, I just don't know how to get it
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  Speaker 7: off my phone. So I'm not that kind of logical, but.
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  Speaker 4: I kind of can't now as you kind of roll
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  Speaker 4: it out, if you're doing like Caesar on toast, wouldn't
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  Speaker 4: it taste a little like a cruton from a Caesar salad.
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  Speaker 4: I'm not totally.
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  Speaker 5: Against that, would no.
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  Speaker 7: I mean I wouldn't either. It's just the fact that
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  Speaker 7: he eats it every day. And he told me he
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  Speaker 7: eats it about five or six times during the work day,
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  Speaker 7: so and it helps with his anxiety for some reason. So,
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  Speaker 7: but you know, I'm I'm a speech pathologist. So I
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  Speaker 7: was kind of trying to like get to the bottom
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  Speaker 7: of what was going on with him. And at one
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  Speaker 7: point he knew that I was a speech pathologist, but
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  Speaker 7: he told me that he didn't understand why I needed
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  Speaker 7: an advanced degree, that you know, anybody could do speech pathology.
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  Speaker 7: So I kind of felt like I was talking to
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  Speaker 7: one of my students the whole time. It was just strange.
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  Speaker 2: Okay, I have an idea. Okay, I have an idea.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, what if we hang up with you, you send
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  Speaker 1: us the audio and then we'll call.
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  Speaker 2: You back, okay and play it.
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  Speaker 7: Oh gosh, Okay, let's just hopefully if.
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  Speaker 1: It doesn't work out, we won't If we can't get
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  Speaker 1: it we can't figure out behind the scenes, then we'll
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  Speaker 1: just let it go. But if it does, we will
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  Speaker 1: call you back immediately. So everyone listening weight, I can
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  Speaker 1: hear him talking about Toast.
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  Speaker 5: Okay, okay, that's good. Okay, Hey real quick, you guys,
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  Speaker 5: should I.
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  Speaker 7: Just try to send it to your Instagram?
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  Speaker 1: No, hold on right now, but we'll give you a
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  Speaker 1: private number. Hold on for one second, Carly. Okay, and
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  Speaker 1: by the way, I thought a good mic drop for
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  Speaker 1: you after your date you get up, you know what
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  Speaker 1: this relationship is, toast and then you walk out?
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  Speaker 5: Yes, right, well, and also his name is Mike, so
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  Speaker 5: mic drop right.
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  Speaker 2: My drop damn yeah, Toast? All right, Carly, hold on,
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  Speaker 2: hold on, he's gotta hear this horseman. Hold on a lot.
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  Speaker 2: We'll get into it next. It's John Jaye Rich.
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  Speaker 1: Good news. Carly sent us the audio. Carly, we got
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  Speaker 1: the audio. It worked, okay, But here's the thing. No
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  Speaker 1: one's heard it yet, even Nick. You send it to
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  Speaker 1: Nick and Nick put it right up. So we're about
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  Speaker 1: to play. So quick recaps Carly's ache, which she went
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  Speaker 1: on a first date with a guy and a Holly
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  Speaker 1: did was talking about Toast and then she took the
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  Speaker 1: phone and hit voice notes and this, and you could
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  Speaker 1: you couldn't believe it.
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  Speaker 2: Right then you just started leading him down the path
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  Speaker 2: talking about toast.
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  Speaker 5: Right, yes, exactly, I'm you can kind of hear me laugh.
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  Speaker 5: I mean I feel bad, but to laugh.
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  Speaker 2: Actually, okay, let's here we go.
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  Speaker 4: Here we go day on a trail mix?
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  Speaker 6: And then what else do you snack on besides the bar?
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  Speaker 2: Okay, trail mix and toast?
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  Speaker 7: And how many times day you hate the toast?
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  Speaker 4: I'll be long all day long, so I'll be like,
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  Speaker 4: are you kind of stressed out?
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  Speaker 1: I've got a stressed job.
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  Speaker 7: Okay, but.
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  Speaker 1: I kind of like it.
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  Speaker 2: Okay, So when I get my stressed Mike makes toast.
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  Speaker 2: That is so funny. That's another quote for a T shirt.
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  Speaker 5: So good.
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  Speaker 6: I was telling Dyllain that it's I.
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  Speaker 5: Mean, I was in the dating world for a long time.
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  Speaker 7: Thank god, I'm no longer.
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  Speaker 5: That was just a mild ach. I've had so many
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  Speaker 5: other experiences too.
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  Speaker 4: Would you say no longer in the dating world you've
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  Speaker 4: found somebody or you just gave up.
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  Speaker 5: I did no.
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  Speaker 2: No, I did not give up.
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  Speaker 7: I actually found someone. I'm engaged. We've engaged for a
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  Speaker 7: couple of years. And yeah, I mean Mike was in my.
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  Speaker 5: Rear view mirror for like seven years.
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  Speaker 2: Already. Good, I'm glad that's old real quez. So what's
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  Speaker 2: the worst ache you said you have? Bad? What's a
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  Speaker 2: really bad ache you had?
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  Speaker 5: Oh? I don't know if it's suitable for radio, so
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  Speaker 5: we could believe it.
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  Speaker 7: Let me just put it this way.
• 9:34
  Speaker 5: That I had to google out of terms when I
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  Speaker 5: was getting messages from people things I had never heard
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  Speaker 5: of before. Wow. I did get a lot of people
• 9:43
  Speaker 5: that were into there was somebody into Christian domestic discipline.
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  Speaker 5: I don't know if you've ever heard of that open.
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  Speaker 2: We need you to go under cover.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: We need to go to cover find out that is well.
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  Speaker 5: I finally said these people as one person, I said,
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  Speaker 5: I don't understand, like, there's nothing in my profile that
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  Speaker 5: indicates this is what I want. So what is it
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  Speaker 5: about me that made you choose me?
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  Speaker 7: And he said, well, you're really tiny and I.
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  Speaker 5: Could put you over my knee and spank you.
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  Speaker 4: So wow. I literally justled it. And the first thing says,
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  Speaker 4: it's when the husband spanked their wives.
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  Speaker 2: Wow. You didn't follow up.
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  Speaker 6: With that absolutely?
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  Speaker 4: Oh no?
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  Speaker 5: And I asked him about it. He said that he
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  Speaker 5: was in another relationship and his wife. Index wife used
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  Speaker 5: to make goals for herself. So, for example, she had
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  Speaker 5: a goal for going to the gym, you know, four
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  Speaker 5: or five times a week, and if she didn't meet
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  Speaker 5: the goal, then he would put her over his knee
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  Speaker 5: and let her choose like what she wanted to be
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  Speaker 5: disciplined with.
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  Speaker 7: And I was like, I'm out.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, why, Wow, there.
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  Speaker 5: Are there are Pinterest pages.
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: No way, wow, there are.
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: Kyle didn't get Rich better my lap? All right, all right, Card,
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: you're amazing. You're amazing. Thank you.
• 11:05
  Speaker 5: Listen to the rest of the boys me when you
• 11:06
  Speaker 5: have time, because it goes even crazier.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: Okay, maybe we put that on a podcast.
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: Is a really good interviewer on the spot.
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  Speaker 2: It's amazing, really good. CARDI a best.
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  Speaker 5: I mean I do it for a living, so it
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  Speaker 5: would be an occupational hazard if I couldn't communicate, right.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're really communicator. Thank you. Thanks for coming in.
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  Speaker 6: Thank you so much.
• 11:25
  Speaker 7: You're welcome.
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  Speaker 5: I love you guys, and I've been listening to you
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  Speaker 5: since the beginning, so thanks for having me on.
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  Speaker 2: Thank you. Send your it to John, Jay and Rich anytime.
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: We only hope you call.
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: The show as much as Mike keats toast.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: It's Jay and Rich. That's awesome.