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Finding Flow: Mindful Movement & Authentic Success in Families with Pearl Howie · The Spiritual Parent: Mindful Tools for Raising Spiritual and Conscious Kids

• 0:00
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So what active meditation looks like for me is for skiing.
• 0:03
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I do it when I'm skiing.
• 0:04
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I don't wear headphones, I keep my ears open so I can hear the swoosh, swooshing, the wind in the trees.
• 0:10
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I can feel the movement and get my body into the pattern of the movement.
• 0:14
  Carrie Lingenfelter: And so there's those meditative pieces.
• 0:18
  Carrie Lingenfelter: And we do it when we're hiking too.
• 0:19
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So teaching our kids these ideas of movement that can be different than just the ball sports.
• 0:28
  Pearl Howie: Yeah, I think it sounds.
• 0:29
  Pearl Howie: That sounds to me very much like being in flow, yes, or being in flow.
• 0:35
  Pearl Howie: So it's like, whatever you're doing, just being connected and it's great because you're in that and you just let go of everything and you're just being.
• 0:44
  Pearl Howie: I think sometimes we would call it being mindfulness as well, but just being present and being and just being at one, and I love I get that when I'm writing, yeah, and you're just not thinking about anything else.
• 0:58
  Pearl Howie: You're so in the moment and I like, oh, it's just wonderful, it doesn't matter what you're doing, like people get it from knitting.
• 1:05
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Conscious parents.
• 1:06
  Carrie Lingenfelter: It's Carrie here and I am here with a little info about raising our mindful kids.
• 1:10
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I've got some tips and tricks about breaking free of the box and becoming who you are and teaching your kids how to do that.
• 1:17
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Along the way, join us, hi there and welcome back.
• 1:21
  Carrie Lingenfelter: This is Carrie, your friendly, intuitive mama here, and I am so excited I have a fabulous guest that I have welcomed back to the show.
• 1:31
  Carrie Lingenfelter: We had her on our Thanksgiving episode and she was so much fun and had such amazing insights.
• 1:34
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I have Pearl Howie here today and I love that.
• 1:37
  Carrie Lingenfelter: She has dedicated her career and her time toward helping people feel alive through her accomplished books and programs that she has, and thank you so much, pearl, for coming back.
• 1:48
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Thank you for having me.
• 1:50
  Pearl Howie: We had a lot of fun last time, so I'm really looking forward to it.
• 1:53
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Yeah, it's so much fun to connect again and already know somebody and have them back.
• 1:58
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I love that experience.
• 1:59
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So I was so excited because today we get to dive more into your background and things that you bring to the table for families, and you and I were speaking a little bit earlier.
• 2:10
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I love that you have this piece that you've talked about with the mission of helping kids to stay conscious into adulthood is to help them stay connected with themselves, to help them stay connected to their hearts into adulthood.
• 2:34
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Do you find any ideas about the cause of these fears of success that you find with adults?
• 2:40
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I think part of it, too, is allowing our kids to make the mistakes now, at the young age, because the stakes are not as high right when we're adults and we're making the mistakes, the stakes are a little bit higher.
• 2:57
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So if we are helicopter parenting right now and we're controlling their environment so much to where they don't make a mistake For instance, my son he's in third grade now in the US, in Colorado, and I just allow him to do his own reading log.
• 3:17
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Sometimes it's lost, sometimes it's on the ground in the mudroom, sometimes it's on the floor in his bedroom, but he's in charge of it and I'm letting him figure out how to organize himself, how to plan out that month of reading log info, and that's his own thing, that he's in charge of, right.
• 3:37
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So if he makes a mistake and he loses it, then he has the consequence of that for himself.
• 3:42
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Then that's something that I've decided that he needs to start learning about and being in charge of, because a lot of the times it's buddy, you need to pick up your socks.
• 3:51
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Buddy, you left your rc truck on the front lawn.
• 3:54
  Carrie Lingenfelter: There's a lot of pieces right where I'm having to take care of him, so I'm trying to teach him a little bit of that independence and allowing him to make those mistakes now.
• 4:03
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So I think that's where I was going with the mistakes.
• 4:05
  Pearl Howie: Oh, totally I think, do you know?
• 4:07
  Pearl Howie: I think the thing is because we started talking about like things like wandering off and talking to strangers and stranger.
• 4:13
  Pearl Howie: We've started this conversation at a very talking about quite what we could call quite high risk behavior.
• 4:18
  Pearl Howie: Yeah, yeah, more higher.
• 4:20
  Pearl Howie: So when we talk about things like that and it is really challenging.
• 4:23
  Pearl Howie: And then when you talk about things like doing your homework- yeah and letting kids make their own mistakes and figure it out.
• 4:29
  Pearl Howie: That's brilliant place for kids to learn about consequences.
• 4:33
  Pearl Howie: It's so great for people to learn about consequences.
• 4:38
  Pearl Howie: That's what it's all about, really, isn't it?
• 4:40
  Pearl Howie: Having challenges, setting homework, all those kind of things what happens if I don't do my homework?
• 4:45
  Pearl Howie: Then find out.
• 4:46
  Pearl Howie: You're going to find out I'm.
• 4:48
  Pearl Howie: My mum was so hands-off when it came to homework.
• 4:51
  Pearl Howie: She was very much look, that's up to you, that's completely up to you.
• 4:56
  Pearl Howie: And, yeah, I was very aware that that was completely up to me and I think that for me, that was really useful because it makes you very, it does encourage you to be organized, yeah, and not expect somebody else to keep telling you hey, you need to do this, you need to do that, you need to do the other yeah and but again it's.
• 5:21
  Pearl Howie: Sometimes it's also I remember helping my nephew with his homework because he got into a real model and as I was going through it I was like this is incredibly complicated and confusing the way that the school were setting up the assignments online and I was like how do you keep this straight?
• 5:38
  Pearl Howie: You've got each week, every other week, you have a different lesson in the same slot and they put the homework online before they've done the lesson.
• 5:45
  Pearl Howie: So it's saying you need to.
• 5:47
  Pearl Howie: The homework's available to do, but and I was like but you and he was doing it and I was like, wow, this is.
• 5:52
  Pearl Howie: And he said, yeah, but I haven't done the lesson yet.
• 5:54
  Pearl Howie: I said why are you doing the homework?
• 5:55
  Pearl Howie: So I'm just trying to get it done.
• 5:56
  Pearl Howie: I'm like, no, you need to do the homework for the lessons you've actually done because you're making it harder on yourself.
• 6:02
  Pearl Howie: But honestly, at that point it was like when I went into, I thought you know what?
• 6:06
  Pearl Howie: The school, or actually they've got a problem.
• 6:09
  Pearl Howie: They've got a problem.
• 6:10
  Pearl Howie: I think sometimes we do assume it's the kids have got the problem.
• 6:13
  Pearl Howie: You're like, actually, sometimes it's so, not, it's just, it's this problem.
• 6:17
  Pearl Howie: And I think again it's like that isn't it, that kids know that they can come to you and say, look, I don't understand this.
• 6:24
  Pearl Howie: And then if it was my mom, she'd be like, yeah, you've got to figure it out.
• 6:28
  Pearl Howie: She really, she literally be saying that and I wouldn't have had somebody in my corner to go to then say, actually, the school have made the mistake, not you.
• 6:36
  Pearl Howie: Yeah, yeah, and unfortunately that it's really all this stuff.
• 6:40
  Pearl Howie: As you say, it's all a learning curve and sometimes the consequences are huge if you don't have that support all the way through.
• 6:47
  Pearl Howie: I remember my sister.
• 6:48
  Pearl Howie: Actually, she failed one of her exams because they taught them the wrong syllabus oh man for two years oh and then, yeah, exactly, and then they only found out they only found out once the exam results came out that they had actually been studying.
• 7:00
  Pearl Howie: They studied the wrong thing, and that's two years of so again.
• 7:04
  Pearl Howie: Sometimes it's we that's a huge issue, but again it's trying to.
• 7:10
  Carrie Lingenfelter: You would think at that age that you could trust the school to provide a good learning yeah, it's to each kid, right, it's independent and it sounds like those are external factors, right, instead of Instead of an internal factor.
• 7:24
  Pearl Howie: Totally.
• 7:24
  Pearl Howie: But I think sometimes that, as hard as it is and as bad as that is, at the same time it's also we learn as we grow up that that institutions make big mistakes and that they're not infallible and that we cannot put a hundred percent trust into any institution.
• 7:42
  Pearl Howie: Really, and sometimes that's an important lesson that we all need and our kids need, as they get older to question authority and to question what they're being told.
• 7:52
  Pearl Howie: It's so important.
• 7:53
  Pearl Howie: So it's really hard because when they're younger we're all like, yes, listen to the teacher and trust the teacher and do what the teacher tells you to do, and this kind of thing.
• 8:00
  Pearl Howie: And as they get older it's hang on a second you have a right to question your teachers.
• 8:13
  Carrie Lingenfelter: You have a right to do that opinion.
• 8:14
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Yeah, yeah, and part of that also, I think, is teaching our kids to feel empowered enough to have that question.
• 8:17
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Do you have any tips for staying empowered or finding empowerment as an adult or as a child staying empowered?
• 8:25
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Do you have any thoughts on empowerment that?
• 8:27
  Pearl Howie: was one my husband and I were discussing this morning was empowered.
• 8:31
  Pearl Howie: I'm always talking about listening and I think when you listen to your kids and it doesn't matter what they're saying, when you listen to them and you find them interesting, and I think when you really listen, you always find them interesting.
• 8:42
  Pearl Howie: It's when you're, it's when you're half listening, when you're doing other things that that they you know, you think, oh, they're talking about this.
• 8:49
  Pearl Howie: And when they're four and they're just telling you everything, you start to tune out.
• 8:53
  Pearl Howie: And I think we we need to get good at waking up that listening.
• 8:57
  Pearl Howie: And it's the same with older people, it's the same with your parents.
• 9:01
  Pearl Howie: As you get older, they talk a lot and then some in there there's some really important things that they tell you that you have to stay switched on to listen to.
• 9:09
  Pearl Howie: In amongst all of that there's something really important that they just tell you in amongst it all.
• 9:13
  Pearl Howie: But I think when you have I suppose one of the things is as an auntie there's a thing when you're like, oh, you're always saying to the kids oh, you're so interesting, oh you're so brilliant, oh you're so wonderful, and that is really empowering for them because they do.
• 9:26
  Pearl Howie: They feel like somebody wants to hear everything, somebody wants to hear all these silly stories and we're sometimes as parents.
• 9:34
  Pearl Howie: We do tune out and we don't want to listen to them because you still haven't got them to pick up their socks and that's what you want to talk to them about, and it's so.
• 9:42
  Pearl Howie: There's that of really really listening, and I could always say that as an adult, it's about doing that for yourself.
• 9:49
  Pearl Howie: It's actually listening to your own, listening to your heart, and sometimes we have that.
• 9:56
  Pearl Howie: There are things about ourselves that are difficult and annoying and boring, but that's because we've got used to ourselves and we've stopped listening.
• 10:09
  Pearl Howie: And if we stop, I think when I always say, one of the best practices you can have is you stop, and always it's a long meditation we do, but generally it's all about just reflecting and looking at yourself as your own best friend.
• 10:28
  Pearl Howie: And I always remember like I was.
• 10:31
  Pearl Howie: It's a silly thing.
• 10:32
  Pearl Howie: I remember I was in a gym once and I was like probably on a treadmill.
• 10:35
  Pearl Howie: I was running and you look along and you see all these people and it's one of those classic things that we have often, especially women, in that we don't, we can be quite negative about our own bodies, and I remember I was on a treadmill, running and I looked over and I went, wow, that woman's got fantastic legs.
• 10:53
  Pearl Howie: I wish my legs looked like that.
• 10:56
  Pearl Howie: And then I was like those are my legs, those are my legs, and I'm looking, oh wow, because I think it's somebody else.
• 11:04
  Pearl Howie: So when we reflect and we stop and we just reflect back and look at ourselves as a good friend, as a best friend, and so much of the time you look at you think I would never talk to a friend the way I talk to myself in my head, I go, I'll just get on with it.
• 11:20
  Pearl Howie: And if I stop and I reflect and I look at all the things that I've been through or I've done, or how hard I try at certain things, or the effort I put, and I look like as a friend, I'd always say you are amazing, you are incredible with what you do.
• 11:40
  Pearl Howie: And it's so easy to take ourselves for granted.
• 11:46
  Pearl Howie: You know, take and take our families and our kids and our parents for granted.
• 11:51
  Pearl Howie: And if we just stop and we, we look and we listen, we go, oh wow, you're amazing.
• 11:59
  Pearl Howie: And that is so empowering when we realize and even if we're not doing very well at something, we can look and say why am I doing?
• 12:06
  Pearl Howie: Why am I not doing very well at this and a lot of times it's I haven't given myself any time, I haven't given myself what I need to do this thing, whatever it is.
• 12:17
  Pearl Howie: We can say, oh, you know what, this is something that's really hugely challenging for me and I'm doing great.
• 12:24
  Pearl Howie: I'm doing really great because I'm showing up and I'm trying.
• 12:28
  Pearl Howie: So that can be another thing, that the way of looking at things and that's if you said that to a kid about anything they were doing, that would make them feel so great.
• 12:40
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I love that.
• 12:40
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I love your being your best friend.
• 12:43
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I was listening.
• 12:44
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I was watching the holiday recently and there was a part that I really loved where there was the older gentleman telling one of the main characters you need to be.
• 12:54
  Carrie Lingenfelter: You need to be the main character in your story.
• 12:57
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Don't be the side character, the sidekick character be the main character, the sidekick character, be the main character.
• 13:07
  Carrie Lingenfelter: And I love that because, right, it's like your best friend is telling you your best friend yourself is telling you how to be the main character.
• 13:10
  Carrie Lingenfelter: These pieces that we love about the main character and these empowering pieces, and I'm thinking in my mind as you're saying it how could we model that for our children I'm raising?
• 13:22
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I have a six-year-old, almost nine-year-old daughter or seven-year-old sorry, almost seven-year-old daughter here, and the area I live in Colorado is very healthy.
• 13:30
  Carrie Lingenfelter: We're like a bubble of health.
• 13:32
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Did you just do your triathlon this week?
• 13:34
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Yes, I did.
• 13:35
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I just hiked six miles.
• 13:36
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I'm going to go for a ski later, like it's very healthy where we live.
• 13:40
  Carrie Lingenfelter: But I am an.
• 13:47
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I have an Argentinian, spanish body type where we have our hips and our thighs and we are built like a guitar, and my daughter is already built like a guitar, and so my husband and I are thinking we need to start now.
• 13:55
  Carrie Lingenfelter: We need to start this mindset and show her these empowering pieces about our body type.
• 14:01
  Pearl Howie: Maybe I don't have the energy to run the five miles today, but yeah, that's a really specific type of fitness and I tell you, I will tell you this, I was the most unathletic child, you know, and I like practically basically failed p, failed sports like all the time, because anytime there was a sport that I was any, anytime it's a sport that I was any.
• 14:24
  Pearl Howie: Any time it was a sport that we got introduced to that I was any good at, they went.
• 14:27
  Pearl Howie: No, we're just gonna go back and do like netball.
• 14:29
  Pearl Howie: I don't think we have netball over there.
• 14:31
  Pearl Howie: It's the way.
• 14:32
  Pearl Howie: I hate it.
• 14:32
  Pearl Howie: I'm sorry for anybody who loves it.
• 14:34
  Pearl Howie: It's basically like basketball, but you can't bounce the ball, oh, so you have to just pass it and it's what they make girls play.
• 14:41
  Pearl Howie: And I have the worst hand to eye coordination when it comes to balls and I am terrible at running.
• 14:48
  Pearl Howie: Yeah, and also I have inherited something from my mother which is called you get a ball in the face anytime you go near a court, when it doesn't matter if it's a tennis ball or a volley.
• 14:58
  Pearl Howie: I've been smacked in the head by so many balls.
• 15:01
  Pearl Howie: I think the worst one was a volleyball.
• 15:03
  Pearl Howie: I got really like a volleyball smacked right in my face and it's my mum.
• 15:06
  Pearl Howie: You, my mum, can't go anywhere near somewhere because literally, if she goes anywhere near that she would get a ball in the head, and so I was the most uncalled.
• 15:15
  Pearl Howie: And then at a certain point I've got to go to the gym because I'm getting older and I can't lose this kind of thing.
• 15:20
  Pearl Howie: And then I started going to Zumba.
• 15:22
  Pearl Howie: I became a Zumba instructor and I love it.
• 15:26
  Pearl Howie: I've been to conventions three times.
• 15:28
  Pearl Howie: I did it full time for six years.
• 15:31
  Pearl Howie: I was nominated as best Zumba instructor in London.
• 15:46
  Pearl Howie: Women and some men as well, who were like I hate sport, I hate exercise, I hate this, and then they would come in and they would have so much fun and they were like a kid again, like a teen.
• 15:51
  Pearl Howie: But I love clubbing, I love clubbing, I've always loved dancing and oh yeah, and I always remember I had girls coming in because I did also did Zumba kids, which was I did mainly with primary school children, but I often have a lot of like young adults coming in with their parents or on their own coming in.
• 16:11
  Pearl Howie: And I remember I had one girl and I'm sure you don't mind saying me saying this she was.
• 16:15
  Pearl Howie: She was doing her silver Duke of Edinburgh award, which we do over here.
• 16:21
  Pearl Howie: A lot of places do it and you have it's.
• 16:24
  Pearl Howie: You have to do some kind of physical thing.
• 16:27
  Pearl Howie: And so she came to me and she said, exactly was two of them?
• 16:30
  Pearl Howie: And they said, could you do us a letter to say we've come to your class and we've been doing a class and how we've done?
• 16:35
  Pearl Howie: And I say, of course, no problem at all.
• 16:38
  Pearl Howie: And one of them, she said to me her p teacher was just had just said you're never going to do it.
• 16:44
  Pearl Howie: And she was just so cruel to her and when, and she just kept saying to me, she's saying I wish I had you.
• 16:50
  Pearl Howie: I wish you'd, I'd you'd been in my school when I was 12 or 10 or whatever, because I'd have been doing this, for I'd have been doing this for six years.
• 16:58
  Pearl Howie: I would have loved it because and it's not even some people have that sort of and, as you say, having a latin body type.
• 17:04
  Pearl Howie: When you go and do zumba, come on, yeah, and there's a zumba.
• 17:08
  Pearl Howie: Kids is what we have for the kids and it's all about I love it because you don't.
• 17:13
  Pearl Howie: With the kids, class is different, we do it differently, but it's like you learn about the history of the music and the rhythms and the countries and that culture and who doesn't love that?
• 17:25
  Pearl Howie: It's just amazing.
• 17:27
  Pearl Howie: But I think it's just embracing.
• 17:29
  Pearl Howie: There's all kinds of I love walking and I love going up mountains, I love climbing up mountains and things like that, and yeah, and it's like why do we make fitness this really niche?
• 17:40
  Pearl Howie: This little tiny thing?
• 17:41
  Pearl Howie: You have to do weights or you have to run oh my gosh, running, oh, don't hate running, oh no.
• 17:48
  Pearl Howie: And I remember every time before I was at the gym I would just be counting the minutes really, and doing the weights and doing the thing and all that.
• 17:57
  Pearl Howie: Oh no, and I have to do a bit.
• 17:59
  Pearl Howie: Now I have some physio exercises I have to do and I, when it's really bad, you just put music on and we put music on, it's easy yes, it's so powerful yeah, and that's my daughter.
• 18:09
  Carrie Lingenfelter: She said she, she started ballet when she was three and a half.
• 18:14
  Carrie Lingenfelter: It was after the pandemic, and I was like I think she would love dance, she loves music.
• 18:18
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Music is her reset.
• 18:20
  Carrie Lingenfelter: And so she came to me and she said, mom, ballet is too slow and I want hip hop.
• 18:25
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So I know Zumba will be up her alley one day.
• 18:27
  Carrie Lingenfelter: And yeah, what you?
• 18:30
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I think everything you're describing is feeling alive.
• 18:33
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Or there's also this new theme.
• 18:36
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I don't know how new it is, but there's the active meditation theme.
• 18:40
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Right, there's the feeling connected when you're hiking or walking or skiing.
• 18:48
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So what active meditation looks like for me is for skiing.
• 18:51
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I do it when I'm skiing.
• 18:53
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I don't wear headphones, I keep my ears open so I can hear the swoosh, swooshing the wind in the trees.
• 18:59
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I can feel the movement and get my body into the pattern of the movement.
• 19:03
  Carrie Lingenfelter: And so there's those meditative pieces and we do it with we're hiking too, so teaching our kids these ideas of movement that can be different than just the ball sports.
• 19:16
  Pearl Howie: Yeah, I think it sounds.
• 19:18
  Pearl Howie: That sounds to me very much like being in flow yes being in flow, yeah.
• 19:24
  Pearl Howie: So it's like, whatever you're doing, just being being connected, and it's great because you're in that and you just you let go of everything and you're just being you.
• 19:33
  Pearl Howie: Just, I think sometimes we would call it being mindfulness as well, but just being present and being and just being at one, and I love I get that when I'm writing, yeah, and you're just not thinking about anything else.
• 19:46
  Pearl Howie: You're so in the moment and I like, oh, it's just wonderful, it doesn't matter what you're doing.
• 19:51
  Pearl Howie: Like people get it from knitting.
• 19:53
  Pearl Howie: Yep, hate, I hate knitting.
• 19:55
  Pearl Howie: But cooking sometimes I really get into flow when I'm cooking, especially when I'm being experimental, and just let me try this and let me try that and it doesn't really matter, it doesn't matter.
• 20:09
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I get it with washing dishes.
• 20:10
  Carrie Lingenfelter: It's like the one thing that really I can just peace out, check out.
• 20:16
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I can just be calm, I have no thoughts.
• 20:18
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Sometimes I'm working through a thought, but oftentimes I just have no thoughts going and I'm just thinking about the motion and the cleanliness and the procedure.
• 20:26
  Carrie Lingenfelter: And I just have no thoughts going and I'm just thinking about the motion and the cleanliness and the procedure and I just follow that.
• 20:29
  Pearl Howie: Well, in a Buddhist village, what they always say is that you should wash dishes as if you're washing the baby Buddha and being present and being 100 again, being in flow, being 100, 100 doing what you're doing and it and it's.
• 20:45
  Pearl Howie: Whether it could be gardening, it doesn't matter.
• 20:48
  Pearl Howie: When you're like 100% present with what you're doing, it becomes this being in flow and it's yeah, it's like a meditation, it is a meditation, it's a form of meditation.
• 20:57
  Pearl Howie: And I think the thing with exercise it's really interesting, especially January.
• 21:01
  Pearl Howie: You've got the crazy exercise stuff going on.
• 21:04
  Pearl Howie: Everybody's saying, oh, honestly, honestly, all this stuff and everything.
• 21:07
  Pearl Howie: And it's brilliant that so many people like engage and they're joining the gym and they're going and I love it.
• 21:12
  Pearl Howie: A little extra push that says come on and do this.
• 21:14
  Pearl Howie: And it's funny.
• 21:15
  Pearl Howie: I was in, I was swimming yesterday and I set myself like goals with swimming.
• 21:20
  Pearl Howie: I love it and I love being present, everything.
• 21:22
  Pearl Howie: But I excuse me, I I want to do a little bit more because I can cheat myself.
• 21:28
  Pearl Howie: I get in and I do a bit and then I go, oh, so I've only been in five minutes.
• 21:31
  Pearl Howie: So I do set myself goals and I was swimming and I thought you know what, bring yourself back and remembering that swimming is what we could call.
• 21:40
  Pearl Howie: It's a puja for your body.
• 21:42
  Pearl Howie: So it's a blessing for your body, an act of an act of really seeing that my body is my temple and it's just and maybe that's something as well to bring into when we're working with kids and fitness and exercise or active any kind of activity is that, whatever you do, it's a beautiful thing of loving your body.
• 22:04
  Pearl Howie: And I think sometimes we lose that in goals of, okay, I'm going to do this, I'm going to exercise because I need to be healthy or because I need to lose weight or build muscle, or I need to improve my coordination, or all right, well, because I want to do an activity with my friends or anything, and sometimes we forget that the very basic thing is this is an act of love for my body, this is just a beautiful thing.
• 22:33
  Pearl Howie: In the same way as when I'm washing my hair, it's OK, I have to wash it because I'm all sweaty, but it's also an act of love and caring for myself and for my body and it can just be that, it can just be joyful.
• 22:49
  Pearl Howie: Sometimes we've got so many different messages being bombarded at us and saying you know what.
• 22:56
  Pearl Howie: It's just kindness, it's just being kind to ourselves.
• 22:59
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Yeah, I love that body is a temple, I think, especially right after I had babies and you have the mom body.
• 23:07
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I remember I just started this act for myself in kissing my hand and saying I love you.
• 23:14
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I love you the way you are.
• 23:15
  Carrie Lingenfelter: You created this tiny human and I love you for what you are.
• 23:20
  Carrie Lingenfelter: You've done miracles already, so I started to do that.
• 23:23
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I have to go back to it because I think you ebb and flow in your different routines, but seeing yourself for the gift that you are, and then modeling this for our kids, and it's coming to me to think about doing that in the mirror, for my daughter is looking in the mirror and being like I really love myself for who I am.
• 23:43
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I love me for my smile that makes other people smile.
• 23:47
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I love me for my eyes, for seeing the rainbow in a storm, or these types of things that we can start to teach our kids now so that they can feel complete in themselves as they are, especially with our neurodiverse kids like my two kids are just so deeply feeling that, and their brains, being gifted too, are so overactive, so it's very easy to go to the anxious piece, right, it's easy to go to the overactive piece of oh, I really need to train 5,000 miles if I want to accomplish the body I want.
• 24:24
  Carrie Lingenfelter: You know what I mean.
• 24:25
  Pearl Howie: I think I recognize myself in that because being neurodiverse myself and some of that is problematic because I also suffer from migraines and I also have the thing where my brain goes like a million miles an hour and I think it's really coming to the understanding of I am perfect and my brain is perfect and I was thinking about this recently especially coming to this understanding later in life, like a lot of people are, especially women are coming into this understanding later in life because our understanding of what it is to be neurodiverse is and it's something that really impacts when you hit around 50, when you're going through perimenopause and a lot of people the symptoms it's a bit like when you go through puberty.
• 25:11
  Pearl Howie: A lot of people understand that they're neurodiverse when they're going through puberty because of the hormonal changes.
• 25:18
  Pearl Howie: So it can make things a bit clearer.
• 25:21
  Pearl Howie: Okay, this is same thing with perimenopause.
• 25:23
  Pearl Howie: A lot of people when they're going through it and it's funny sort of talk when you start talking to people like how many people only come to the understanding of that they are neurodiverse.
• 25:32
  Pearl Howie: And also our understanding of what it means to be neurodiverse has changed from.
• 25:37
  Pearl Howie: I remember doing trainings in my sort of 20s and 30s when I was supporting people with autism and the training was okay that this is the line where we're gonna say someone's autistic, and now we, that line is out here and we would say somebody is autistic at a much, we say lower level, down on the spectrum perhaps.
• 26:01
  Pearl Howie: So our understanding has really changed, especially for women.
• 26:04
  Pearl Howie: But one of the things I always think to myself is my brain is perfect, because if I didn't have that million miles an hour, I couldn't do the things that I do, especially considering that sometimes with migraine, I'm completely incapacitated.
• 26:24
  Pearl Howie: So it's almost like I have a.
• 26:25
  Pearl Howie: It's funny.
• 26:28
  Pearl Howie: I remember somebody saying it's like having a Ferrari mind and bicycle brakes.
• 26:34
  Pearl Howie: So that's so you go.
• 26:36
  Pearl Howie: Oh, okay, that's one way of looking at it.
• 26:38
  Pearl Howie: But the other thing is you say, okay, get off the bike track and get on the race track, because then you're using that Ferrari mind and you will tie yourself out, guarantee you.
• 26:49
  Pearl Howie: I guarantee you, yes, you use that and you will tie yourself out.
• 26:53
  Pearl Howie: And it's much easier than trying to drive a Ferrari at three miles an hour, because everybody else is going at three miles an hour, like when you're in at school if you're in a regular school when you're trying to not be that strange person who's going at Ferrari type speeds.
• 27:10
  Pearl Howie: But the other thing I was thinking about is I thought you know what, again, it's like in terms of society if we didn't have people whose brains go at million miles an hour.
• 27:18
  Pearl Howie: Look at all the things that wouldn't have been invented.
• 27:21
  Pearl Howie: We wouldn't have all of these things.
• 27:22
  Pearl Howie: So it was something you said also about your, your post-birth body, and I think that's sometimes we think of it in those terms.
• 27:32
  Pearl Howie: Say, for example, you having a baby.
• 27:34
  Pearl Howie: But I was thinking myself.
• 27:37
  Pearl Howie: I was having a time when you're going to say perimenopause and all the hormones and like that, and it's very troublesome and problematic, but at the same time, when you look at it on a bigger picture, you think, but if we didn't have these changes and hormones and shifts and there would be no human race, we wouldn't have any babies.
• 28:02
  Pearl Howie: Yes, so this stuff that we think of as challenging and problem, it's absolutely essential.
• 28:08
  Pearl Howie: Yes, it's absolutely essential.
• 28:12
  Pearl Howie: So it's really awesome about us trying to say okay, okay, yes, it can be really uncomfortable and difficult and there are times we do need to get support.
• 28:25
  Pearl Howie: We absolutely do need to reach out and get support because things become so difficult for us, but at the same time, how much of that is when you look at and say you know what?
• 28:34
  Pearl Howie: This is absolutely essential.
• 28:36
  Pearl Howie: It's abs.
• 28:38
  Pearl Howie: If I didn't have this brain, I wouldn't have written 80 books.
• 28:42
  Pearl Howie: There's no way.
• 28:44
  Carrie Lingenfelter: That's what I was just thinking when you said that.
• 28:46
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I was like nobody else has the time or the energy.
• 28:49
  Carrie Lingenfelter: That's, it's amazing, but it connects, yeah it connects.
• 28:53
  Pearl Howie: It happens very quickly when I'm in that, when I have a subject, when something is, when I'm passionate about something, everybody knows about it.
• 29:04
  Pearl Howie: Everybody knows and it's funny enough talking about Zumba earlier, there's so many people who are on the autistic spectrum, who are instructors or who go to Zumba a lot and it's funny because you think, when you think about the classic things about autism, which are the sensory issues which I have, and sometimes social situations, things like that, it's amazing.
• 29:30
  Pearl Howie: But the thing is about a Zumba class is that there's a structure, so it actually is quite relaxing in terms of a social situation, like when I go into a Zumba class.
• 29:40
  Pearl Howie: I know this, I know all the rules of this social.
• 29:44
  Pearl Howie: It's very easy for me to interact socially with people, whereas it might not be.
• 29:48
  Pearl Howie: Honestly, just going in the changing room is sometimes more stressful because some people are over here having a conversation, some people are and I don't know whether I'm supposed to join in or I'm not.
• 29:57
  Pearl Howie: And if I go into a zumba class, it's really clear and I'm either in the class or I'm at the front and I'm teaching.
• 30:03
  Pearl Howie: And there's a lot of people who have been diagnosed with things like Asperger's we used to call Asperger's, who have found a new way of having a social life because they've gone into an environment where it's structured.
• 30:17
  Pearl Howie: And also this is the thing with Zumba and music and dance and choreography it's a lot of patterns, it's's so many patterns, so when you go in and you it's not hand to eye, coordination, balls and things like that, it's patterns.
• 30:32
  Pearl Howie: With the music there's a pattern the verse, the chorus, the bridge.
• 30:36
  Pearl Howie: There's a pattern with the terms of the way the body moves.
• 30:39
  Pearl Howie: If we're doing tango, it's a hexagon, it's okay, so it's really easy.
• 30:44
  Pearl Howie: If you're somebody who is good at picking up patterns and repetition, and okay, and I'm going to do this cue, and okay, it's really easy.
• 30:47
  Pearl Howie: If you're somebody who is good at picking up patterns and repetition, and okay, and I'm going to do this cue, and okay, it's like a game and it's really easy for me.
• 30:52
  Pearl Howie: So you get to.
• 30:54
  Pearl Howie: If you have a certain kind of brain, it's really easy and you get to be really good at something.
• 30:58
  Pearl Howie: And if you're not good at sports and you've never been good at sports, you come in and suddenly you're really good at something and it's wonderful.
• 31:05
  Pearl Howie: It's just wonderful.
• 31:06
  Carrie Lingenfelter: You come in and suddenly you're really good at something and it's wonderful.
• 31:08
  Carrie Lingenfelter: It's just wonderful.
• 31:08
  Carrie Lingenfelter: It makes so much sense, that pattern, and they know what's coming up, you know what to expect.
• 31:11
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Whereas I think of my son in a basketball game.
• 31:14
  Carrie Lingenfelter: He's the nine-year-old playing basketball and my husband and I were saying you have to process very quickly what.
• 31:22
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I just got thrown the ball, or I just got the rebound, and then what do I do next?
• 31:26
  Carrie Lingenfelter: And it's like sometimes you can see, oh, the brain doesn't keep up.
• 31:30
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Yet when they're nine years old, they don't know, they can't see the person next to them is open because of their visual spatial cues.
• 31:37
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So there's all these pieces of it that can be more challenging, whereas Zumba, when you understand what's coming next, it's predictable.
• 31:45
  Carrie Lingenfelter: There's a pattern, there's a rhythm, there's a beat.
• 31:48
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So all those pieces make so much sense.
• 31:50
  Pearl Howie: Yeah, if you get it wrong if you get it wrong in a zumba class, you get it wrong we laugh.
• 31:57
  Pearl Howie: People love it.
• 31:58
  Pearl Howie: When in as an instructor, if you get it wrong, people love it whereas in a basketball yeah, basketball game you're playing and you're in a team and the stress level of I've got to get this right, and even people who play at the top level say basketball, say you go to NBA or whatever.
• 32:13
  Pearl Howie: The strategy that they have to figure out is intense.
• 32:17
  Pearl Howie: You could sit somebody down and you could any game.
• 32:20
  Pearl Howie: You could sit somebody down and say what should this person do in this situation?
• 32:24
  Pearl Howie: And they would have a really hard time.
• 32:28
  Pearl Howie: Who's it, who's the really famous basketball player?
• 32:31
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I don't even know, I don't follow sports michael jordan.
• 32:35
  Pearl Howie: Michael jordan, you know him okay, but I think he's the one.
• 32:39
  Pearl Howie: I think he's the one and I think the story about him is this is that he he's watched more basketball than anyone's ever watched, in terms of he was constantly when he was on tour and everything.
• 32:50
  Pearl Howie: And people would say he was always in his room, always watching videos of games, always watching, trying to crack the code of, not just the physical thing, you say the strategy and trying to figure that out.
• 33:02
  Pearl Howie: Yeah, so you can go what it's like.
• 33:04
  Pearl Howie: Yeah, that's something really challenging up to the top level.
• 33:10
  Pearl Howie: And also here it's soccer, football, soccer, here oh my gosh, and like, when people make mistakes.
• 33:16
  Pearl Howie: When people make mistakes, they play football here.
• 33:18
  Pearl Howie: Pressure the pressure, the people make mistakes and it's you see it, at the high level.
• 33:23
  Pearl Howie: Honestly, I don't know if you saw when england lost the euros, the men's team sorry, not socially, the men's team lost you and the fallout of that and you just think and I always talk about that in terms, it's so weird, like in my book.
• 33:39
  Pearl Howie: So I wrote the book in 29, end of 2019, and I wrote a chapter about, like, fear of success and it was about what happens in a football match if people are called up to do penalties and they don't get it.
• 33:58
  Pearl Howie: And it's so weird because that's exactly what happened two years, three years later and and it's this thing of, for the team to get to the final is the best.
• 34:08
  Pearl Howie: I think it was the best that the men's team had done since 1960, since 1966, since they were finalists, they won the world cup and the thing is, if you think about it, if they had that performance in the quarter final, it would have been oh no, but it would have been at that level.
• 34:27
  Pearl Howie: But because they did even better and they were in the actual final and they ended up going through extra time and then they finally got to the penalties and it was so close, it was literally it was like really nail biting stuff.
• 34:41
  Pearl Howie: But because they lost at the final thing, the devastation, the fallout, the, the vitriol, the abuse that the players received just staggering.
• 34:51
  Pearl Howie: And you think this is one of the reasons why we develop fear of success.
• 34:56
  Pearl Howie: Okay, because it's like it's easier to fail at a lower level than to keep to keep doing well and fail at a higher level, because and it's much worse in that environment for people to fail to come second you know, if they come fourth or fifth or eighth or whatever, they wouldn't have had the drama, they wouldn't have the abuse, they wouldn't have anything like that.
• 35:25
  Pearl Howie: And you, suddenly you look at you say we are not supporting people to do their best, we're not supporting people to do their best.
• 35:33
  Pearl Howie: And if any of that creeps in at kids level sport we're teaching kids yeah, fail quickly, fail early, don't let anybody build up expectations about you or your performance or what you're going to do, and that's what we are teaching them.
• 35:49
  Pearl Howie: So we are actually teaching them fear of success, because if you go all the way and then you fail at the last hurdle, you're gonna get punished in a really horrible way.
• 36:03
  Pearl Howie: The police were looking into all the online abuse that the players were receiving.
• 36:07
  Pearl Howie: People were arrested, people lost their jobs because of the things that they wrote on social media over the football match, and the players and the manager received terrible abuse as well, and it's a bit like somebody going, say, in american football, if a team goes to the super bowl and they come in second, that they get more abuse than if they hadn't ever made it to the Super Bowl in the first place.
• 36:31
  Pearl Howie: So are we doing that to our kids with the sports?
• 36:36
  Pearl Howie: Are we doing that with our kids in an academic sense as well, or are we saying what we should always be saying, which which is just do your best, and I'm proud of you.
• 36:48
  Pearl Howie: I'm proud of you if you come in, like I always say when I'm a teacher, as a fitness instructor, I'm always saying to everybody is show up, you show up and you do your best, and if you do a little bit, it's great, if you do a lot, it's great.
• 37:03
  Pearl Howie: If you can't get that move, it doesn't matter, you can try again.
• 37:11
  Carrie Lingenfelter: You can try again yes, we started very young, we started very early and there there are pieces of that.
• 37:18
  Carrie Lingenfelter: You see, at kids games.
• 37:20
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I think we're much more aware of it than we used to be.
• 37:23
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I was interviewing a coach recently.
• 37:26
  Carrie Lingenfelter: He was like a more mindful coach and he was talking about how you focus on the growth that you've seen in that season for yourself.
• 37:34
  Carrie Lingenfelter: You don't focus on the wins, you don't focus on winning each game, you look at the growth for yourself.
• 37:40
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So that's what we say to our kids a lot.
• 37:43
  Carrie Lingenfelter: You said try hard.
• 37:45
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I like how hard you tried this game.
• 37:47
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I like how much effort you put into it.
• 37:50
  Carrie Lingenfelter: I can see you worked so hard at this and I'm so proud of you for doing what you could, doing your best.
• 37:56
  Carrie Lingenfelter: So that's what we like to say in our house yeah, yeah, and it's.
• 38:01
  Pearl Howie: It's great when you win the things and it's great if you come first.
• 38:05
  Pearl Howie: It's really nice, but it's not always the thing that makes people happiest.
• 38:11
  Pearl Howie: It's funny.
• 38:12
  Pearl Howie: I was thinking about the fear of success and we've got the Oscars coming up soon and it's one of those things.
• 38:17
  Pearl Howie: Very often.
• 38:18
  Pearl Howie: You often hear stories from people when they've won an Oscar and they will say that's when they've hit their absolute rock bottom and it's like one of those things that happens to a lot of people when they win an Oscar and everybody's like, oh, you should be so happy.
• 38:30
  Pearl Howie: And that's the moment when they go.
• 38:32
  Pearl Howie: This doesn't feel the way I thought it was going to feel.
• 38:38
  Pearl Howie: And it's when they often realise that you know what all those sacrifices that they've made in order to get to this place were not worth it and it doesn't fill you up.
• 38:50
  Pearl Howie: It's.
• 38:51
  Pearl Howie: And often you often hear stories about people saying the day they won the oscar was like the worst day of their life or the next day, because that was a moment when they realized that their life just wasn't it.
• 39:02
  Pearl Howie: It's you're following a path and when you're really wanting something and you're going after it.
• 39:05
  Pearl Howie: And when you're really wanting something and you're going after it and you've got all these pressure and everybody's saying yeah, and life will be perfect when I win the Oscar and life will be brilliant, and then they get there and it's it's just so empty, it's not real authentic success, it's like an illusion of success.
• 39:22
  Pearl Howie: And I think that's when people realize that a lot of those times of false success is when we realize that this is not the life that we want to live.
• 39:32
  Pearl Howie: This is not what we want, and perhaps one of the things we can do is keep our eye on our kids and see when they're experiencing that as well.
• 39:42
  Pearl Howie: Sometimes, when sometimes good things happen and you go and you notice them kind of being a bit down and it's listen and talk to them and instead of going you should be.
• 39:50
  Pearl Howie: Often we kind of go oh, you should be happy because of this and you should be happy because of that.
• 39:55
  Pearl Howie: And sometimes when we listen, we go, do you realize they've worked so hard for something and then they achieve it but actually it doesn't bring them happiness or joy because it wasn't really what they wanted.
• 40:08
  Pearl Howie: And perhaps sometimes it's also doing it because they're trying to please us, because they think it's important to us, so it's hey, what's important to me, make my mum happy, make my dad happy and then they get there and it's.
• 40:22
  Pearl Howie: It's not enough.
• 40:23
  Pearl Howie: Yeah, because they haven't really done what they.
• 40:27
  Pearl Howie: In order to achieve this, they've had to give up that which was actually more important to them.
• 40:31
  Pearl Howie: And, honestly, working at high levels in finance with people who have, I've worked with so many people who've got all kinds of money and state and all kinds of things and it's like sometimes somebody does a lot to get that really shiny thing the car, the house, the job, the business whatever it is, and even the diamond ring, some people, the idea of getting married, and and then there's a crash because it you know what.
• 41:04
  Pearl Howie: That was a trophy.
• 41:05
  Pearl Howie: That wasn't like, it wasn't what I wanted, it wasn't important to me, it was just something that I thought would make me happy or that everybody told me was going to make me happy.
• 41:20
  Pearl Howie: And we often see that crash with people who spend all their time.
• 41:25
  Pearl Howie: They go on, they're great at school, college, they go to university, they get their degree, they get their career, they do all that kind of thing, and then they have depression or they have a breakdown and we go, but you have everything.
• 41:37
  Pearl Howie: But they didn't get to.
• 41:42
  Pearl Howie: But the thing is, it's like they didn't get to go and be an artist, which might be what was true to them.
• 41:47
  Carrie Lingenfelter: It's staying connected, right.
• 41:49
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Staying connected to hear what you truly want, what's true in your heart.
• 41:54
  Pearl Howie: I think it's just really, and it's the same whether it's kids or anybody in your life, it's you know what, it's listening to what's coming from them and also just saying you know, know what, whoever you are authentically, whoever you are, is I love you.
• 42:11
  Pearl Howie: I, my love is unconditional.
• 42:13
  Pearl Howie: And if you, if you start dating, if you're going out with somebody, that's great, if it makes you happy.
• 42:20
  Pearl Howie: But it's what makes you happy, not what I think about it.
• 42:23
  Pearl Howie: It's your business and it's hard because you want, you want them to be happy and they tell you they want something and then you're really encouraging and then they're like actually, no, I don't really want that anymore, and you're like okay, okay, that's okay, that's okay, you can have, you can do that, you can do this, that's okay and it's it's.
• 42:40
  Pearl Howie: It's very difficult because disappointing your parents can be very painful, at whatever age you are, and sometimes you know it, your parents can be very excited about something you're doing and the reason you're doing it is because it's just it's what, it's who they are, not who you are that I've seen that a lot too.
• 43:00
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Yeah, then you're never gonna feel fully successful in your heart for sure.
• 43:05
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Thank you so much, pearl, for all of your wonderful insight, and I wanted to have you touch we didn't get to touch on your virtual retreat that you have.
• 43:14
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Yes, did you want to tell us a little bit about that?
• 43:17
  Pearl Howie: Yeah, it's quite new and it's a free to access space and it's really.
• 43:23
  Pearl Howie: It's built and channels all the amazing places that I've been to in my life some of the most amazing places and the vibe of a retreat space, which is somewhere that you can just come and have the space to be yourself and to do the practice of just being authentically yourself and figuring out who that is yeah, it's called Roshanara by Pearl Escapes, and the translation of that is the light of the gathering.
• 43:50
  Pearl Howie: So it's a community space so that you can see each other and you can.
• 43:54
  Pearl Howie: So, like other social media, you can actually connect with other people.
• 43:58
  Pearl Howie: So we have a very stringent code of conduct to keep it family friendly.
• 44:02
  Pearl Howie: It's not for kids, but it's family friendly, so it's something you could actually do with your, with your kids, with your teenage.
• 44:08
  Pearl Howie: You don't have to hide the laptop when you want to do some.
• 44:11
  Pearl Howie: If you want to go on that kind of thing and we've also got some.
• 44:17
  Pearl Howie: I've just been working on a series of workshops which are all about finding your authentic success, so it's called authentic success your way, and there's seven of those and I'm just now putting those on and again free to access so you can go on and do the workshops and they're all the videos are filmed as a retreat, so they're all filmed around here me sitting on the beat and in the woods and in the hotel and to really give you that sense of space and getting away, because I think so often we need that perspective, we need to feel as if we've come away, so that we can turn around and reflect back on life, and I think that's what retreats are all about is just trying to give you.
• 45:01
  Pearl Howie: So I know it's not the same as coming on a real life retreat, but I know that so many people want to do that, especially this time of year, and it's very difficult with time, money, all that kind of logistics, so I wanted to give that to people as much as I can really.
• 45:17
  Pearl Howie: So that's what Roshanara is all about, and it's based on the heartbeat app so you can actually download the heartbeat app and then have Roshanara on your phone as an app so you can literally just it's like a little heart, and then you just press it and you're straight into roshanara so you can watch the video, you know.
• 45:33
  Pearl Howie: So it's great because it's like having it, it's like having a free well-being app.
• 45:36
  Pearl Howie: Um, yeah, so I'm gonna.
• 45:39
  Pearl Howie: I've sent you the link, so it's like a little invite.
• 45:42
  Pearl Howie: you have to have an invite because that's the way they set it up, so that kind of protects the community really.
• 45:47
  Pearl Howie: So you need, like the little, the password.
• 45:49
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Oh, my, okay, we'll figure out how to include that in the show notes, cause I think other people would love that Maybe if they go to your website.
• 45:56
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Is that the best?
• 45:57
  Pearl Howie: Yeah, if you go to my website, it's pearlhowiecom, and if you go to contact and just join my newsletter or you can join my newsletter on linkedin as well, and so I'm sending the invitation obviously out to everyone on my newsletter and that will probably be on every week.
• 46:12
  Pearl Howie: So you get a newsletter once a week and so the link will be on there and then you can go straight.
• 46:16
  Pearl Howie: And also it's really useful for me if people tell me what they find works doesn't work.
• 46:21
  Pearl Howie: Still very new, it's about a month old, but the whole idea is that it's going to be also because I have a program, fear of success instructors, so that's going to come on there as well.
• 46:33
  Pearl Howie: So, like all the resources for fear of success instructors and because I think that's the thing is that more we, I just feel like it's a training that everybody should have, like all teachers should have and anybody who's trying to support people.
• 46:46
  Pearl Howie: Parents, yeah, definitely, because the thing is it's very simple, really fair success.
• 46:50
  Pearl Howie: Once you see it, it's like one of those magic puzzles.
• 46:53
  Pearl Howie: Once you see it and you go, oh yeah, and then you can really support people and help them.
• 46:59
  Pearl Howie: So that's it's all about just trying to help people feel alive and just take time out as well when you sometimes you just need to.
• 47:06
  Pearl Howie: I'm lucky I live down here.
• 47:07
  Pearl Howie: It's so nice, lovely that's beautiful.
• 47:10
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Yeah, you're very lucky.
• 47:11
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Thank you so much, pearl.
• 47:13
  Carrie Lingenfelter: We'll share that.
• 47:14
  Carrie Lingenfelter: We'll share your site and the show notes today.
• 47:16
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Thanks so much for being here with us, thank you.
• 47:18
  Pearl Howie: Thank you, it's been lovely.
• 47:20
  Pearl Howie: It's always so nice to chat with you.
• 47:22
  Pearl Howie: It's just a lovely vibe, thank you, I appreciate that.
• 47:25
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Well, that Well, that's a wrap.
• 47:28
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Thanks so much for tuning in.
• 47:29
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Change makers.
• 47:30
  Carrie Lingenfelter: This is Carrie, and if you haven't done a review for us, five stars and a little few words about what you've enjoyed in our podcast episodes, we would really appreciate it.
• 47:40
  Carrie Lingenfelter: If you guys would like to ever message me, I would love any questions you have or any feedback.
• 47:46
  Carrie Lingenfelter: At info at hearttoheartlifecom, we also have a brand new website which we're super excited to share.
• 47:53
  Carrie Lingenfelter: It's hearttoheartlifecom.
• 47:56
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Thanks so much for tuning in and happy life, happy times.
• 47:59
  Carrie Lingenfelter: Changemaker families.