Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 3 - Episode 254 - Attending every argument

Transcript

Season 3 - Episode 254 - Attending every argument · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the Good Morning from the Chicken Coop podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and mastermindset
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop, along with all her chickens.
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  Hey everybody, good morning from the chicken coop.
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  So Wayne Dyer is known for saying you don't have to attend
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  every argument you are invited to.
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  What a powerful phrase that is. You don't have to attend every
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  argument you're invited to. So for me, this is such an
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  important phrase because if I have an inkling that my point is
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  being missed, I will engage. And over time, I have had to
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  learn that just because they're missing the point, that doesn't
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  mean that I can educate them on the point because they might not
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  be able to hear it. And this was so hard for me to
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  learn my friends, because I was like, wait, wait, wait.
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  Let me just say this. Let me say this, let me say
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  this. But when you're hunkered down in
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  your belief that you need to educate them, and they're
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  hunkered down in their belief that you're missing their point,
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  there is no resolution. That's why it's an argument.
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  And it's so important to recognize that the more you
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  know. We've all heard it before.
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  When emotions go up, intelligence goes down.
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  Heard me say it a million times. We don't get clarity when we're
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  in that state. All we do is get more hunkered
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  down in our position. There you go, Rufus.
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  Exactly. We get more hunkered down in the
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  position and then what can happen?
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  Nothing can happen because we're not going to move until we can
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  let things simmer down. Go cool off, take a walk, clear
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  your head, do whatever. I mean, that phrase go clear
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  your head is probably one of the most understated statements ever
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  made. Go clear your head.
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  Come on. It's like 4 of the simplest
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  words you will ever hear. And yet it is so powerful, so
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  profound, and so necessary to remember when you are in that
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  state. And again, in arguments,
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  everyone is elevated and everyone has a position and
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  everyone wants everyone to understand their position.
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  And you know what's going to end up happening?
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  Lots more arguing because we have not cleared our head.
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  We have not stepped away and said I choose not to attend this
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  argument. Now, I will be the first one to
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  admit I am stubborn and sometimes I attend arguments and
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  I don't like it afterwards. I always say to myself, what was
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  I doing? And part of the problem I have
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  is that I forget to ask the question because my emotions go
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  up. So my intelligence is down and I
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  forget to ask the question, Should I attend this argument?
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  It's kind of like when someone offers you a ticket to go to a
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  concert and you just are like, oh, that'll be fun.
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  But you're forgetting about the fact that you don't drink and
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  you don't want to go to the concert because you understand
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  that if you go to the concert, there's going to be drinking
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  there. There's going to be loud music,
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  There's going to be lots of people, there's going to be
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  parking issues. And everything about that
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  concert is not you. But you're just looking at one
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  thing, like, oh, I'll attend. Yeah, it should be fine.
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  And then it turns out it's not so fine.
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  It wasn't so fun. So this is very similar.
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  We have to really think things through when we do this stuff.
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  We have to say, OK, do I really want to attend this?
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  And the answer is probably not, probably not, my friends,
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  because it doesn't make any sense to attend it.
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  What makes sense is to say, hey, you know what?
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  Let me step back here for a second.
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  Let me step back, go clear my head, take a walk and say that's
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  OK. And allow us, as I said before,
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  agree to disagree. It's OK.
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  We can agree to disagree and it might not come to any resolution
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  within your situation, your house, your, your work,
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  whatever. But you know, you did not attend
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  the argument and you didn't have to bend your principal if you're
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  not ready to, You know, this is this is one of the most
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  important parts of recognizing that the arguments you attend
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  are not always solvable. They're not always solvable.
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  And sometimes it's just like you're there, you're having the
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  argument, you're like, this is ridiculous and they're not
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  solvable. It's just something to
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  recognize. And if it's not solvable, then
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  why put your energy into it? Why put all of your good energy
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  that you work so hard to maintain into it?
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  I mean, if you're listening to this podcast, I know you work
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  hard on your mindset. I know you work hard on being
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  able to make sure that you are doing the work that you need to,
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  to be a better person. So we have to look at why do I
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  want someone to rob that energy? Why do I want a situation to rob
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  that energy? You know it.
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  You've heard me use the chickens before as an example, and they
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  do not always stay mad at each other.
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  They'll have something happen and then you hear that strange
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  sound right now, that's because a hawk is flying over.
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  Guys got to witness that sound first hand.
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  Look at that. The boys are letting the
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  chickens, the hens know there's a hawk in the area and they're
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  growling and they're letting them know anyway, so you don't
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  always have to attend. And the chickens, they, the
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  hens, they'll get mad at each other and they let it go right
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  away. They walk on.
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  They have a fine day after that. So it's incredibly important to
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  remember you have options. You don't have to attend.
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  All right, my friends, I will see you all tomorrow.
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  Have a blessed day. Bye.