Latest / The Tom & Gerry Show Podcast / THE SYCAMORE GAP TREE: IF WE DID IT

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THE SYCAMORE GAP TREE: IF WE DID IT · The Tom & Gerry Show Podcast

0:00
M rab up there, Tom, how are you keeping? Brother? I
0:13
lovely smell a two stroke off this episode, doesn't it? I love it?
0:15
I love it. Not can get any going like two stroke? I'm
0:19
telling you, and and and and this is an odd one. How are
0:22
you all doing? Everybody? You're welcome along to The Tom and Jerry Show,
0:26
Season seven and what has been sprung on us as a surprise episode.
0:29
This is the quickest turnaround of an episode we've ever done. I believe Tom,
0:33
we have put next to no work into this. Whatsoever put you?
0:37
Jerry's purely teen you up to this because this was never meant to be episode
0:41
four. So next week you may hear us. I don't know, maybe
0:44
we didn't. Maybe I don't know you. Maybe he didn't or did hear
0:48
we'll hear us say episode Well, so I forget that. It'll be episode
0:52
five. We crowbar this one because Jerry, Jerry spotted this little story,
0:57
this, this one, this one was fresh. Tom and I reckon If
0:59
we let it's sit till the end of the season and put it in at
1:03
the end where it would naturally go chronological record and order, it'll be dead
1:08
in the water. But right now we just had to talk about the Sycamore
1:14
Gap tree. So this was the one that I hadn't I honestly, when
1:18
you said it to me, it was like, do you know when there's
1:21
something in the back of your the rolodex of your mind went yeah, Seckamore
1:23
Gap? Is that a code name for something police pull the loopedoes or something
1:30
back in the seventies Operation Sycamore Gap. Do you know what I mean?
1:34
It's sounded like something. I was like, no, no, no,
1:38
it's not. And then when I literally typed in sycamore and the Sycamore Gap,
1:42
and it was the tree, the fucking tree in that that I suppose,
1:48
what would you call it a valley? A valley to start? It's
1:52
not really it's not really a valley. It's the hills. The cleavage of
1:57
the land is the cleavage of the tape of the fucking land up against Adrian's
2:02
wall. The sycamore tree they record was three hundred years old. But I
2:06
recognize this straight away from Prince of Thieves Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves.
2:08
Well, I didn't be honest, switch And for those of you that are
2:13
not up to speed, we are talking about the Sycamore Gap tree which was
2:16
in Northumberland National Park up until very recently last week when it got chopped down,
2:23
much to the chagrine of all and sundry Tom. It was three hundred
2:27
years old and it got mysteriously chopped down. There have been a couple of
2:31
arrests as and of this morning, Tom, there is a second person lifted
2:38
for it. Yeah, and that's how fresh we are, Like the sap
2:42
is still wet on this tree, ladies and gentlemen. But we feel that
2:45
we have to get in on this because when we heard of this tree being
2:49
cut down, the first person lifted for it was a sixteen year old boy
2:53
who seemingly went out and cut down this three hundred year old tree in the
2:55
middle of fucking nowhere by himself. Both me and Tom had to say,
3:01
no, we fucking didn't. Not a prayer, not a prayer. I
3:05
mean, all I've ever seen is the like I've never seen to walk around
3:07
of this tree. But i'd seen the silhouette, and I mean the National
3:10
Trust argue that it was actually planted around eighteen sixty, but look at fuck
3:14
it. We'll go with three hundred years old, three years you know,
3:17
partagas, but that is at that fucking stage like it's. The thing was
3:21
ginormous. It was a big Signamotory would absolutely nothing else around it, so
3:23
it was going for it. So this thing was a big horror of a
3:27
fucking tree. I mean when the first story they came up with from sky
3:30
Sports or sky News, I should say, it was sixteen year old,
3:32
I'm like, what kind of motherfucking sixteen year olds cutting down trees like that?
3:38
Like that all that's across the wilderness with a chainsaw and cut down Just
3:44
something didn't add up about it, and we said we had to cut a
3:46
Tom and Jerry track about this. When Tom, we had to lay down
3:50
an episode on this one because it combines so many things. It combines the
3:53
North of England, crime tools and cutting down a lone bush. I hadn't
4:03
put all that together. I was just into it anyway. But next now
4:08
we couldn't put But we couldn't put put an episode about it. What we
4:13
tell you last week, Tom, what we tell you about leaving Loman bushes
4:15
alone and not a fucking calendar week goes by and then some fucking English lad
4:19
goes out and chops down a beautiful tree. It must be said Tom,
4:24
and like, well, you know, I'm you know, not quite at
4:30
the stage where I would go and change myself to a tree to stop it
4:31
getting cut down. But I don't like to see it happen. But I
4:36
appreciate every now and then, like a road will have to get built,
4:39
I suppose if all other options are exhausted. When you say it's a particularly
4:44
special, three hundred year old, beautiful tree in the middle of fucking nowhere,
4:48
I don't like to see that, Tom. I if that tree had
4:51
fallen of its own accord, I would have been like, that's sad.
4:56
That's a horrible thing to happen. Yeah, that's somebody went out chopped it
5:00
down. We're gonna have to investigate this one time. But there's no like,
5:04
I mean, you kind of have suggesting that one of them allowed to
5:06
listen to our episode last week Up Shows cut down Lone Bushes. I've got
5:14
my teeries, okay, And here's one of those ladies and gentlemen. We're
5:16
not a true crime podcast, we're not a learning podcast, and you know,
5:20
we're just a ship talking podcast. So that's what we're gonna do here.
5:25
Now. We're not going to name everybody anybody. This is an ongoing
5:28
case and we don't know their names yet. They haven't been released. But
5:30
we're just going to tell you nothing that you haven't heard in the news.
5:33
But what we're going to do, Tom, is we're going to tell everybody
5:36
what we think might have happened with the sycamore gap tree. And not only
5:42
that, Tom, we're gonna do an O. J. Simpson on us
5:46
if we did it. So it's just gonna we're gonna say, if we
5:49
were to cut down the sycamore gap tree, here's what we would have done.
5:54
Perfect. That sounds like that sounds like an hour podcasting to everybody.
5:58
I'll be honest you, I'm as excited as the people. This is because
6:00
I'm not fully fucking show what's going on at all. I was out stuff
6:02
of my face at very late breakfast because I've had a crazy, like a
6:06
week. But I was very excited about Okay, if Jerry's into talk about
6:11
cutting down trees, I'm into that. I'm very much into that. That's
6:14
fine. So here's what we're going to tell you time. We're going to
6:16
tell you exactly what we know for the minute. Okay, So the Sycamore
6:19
gap tree is in Northumberland National Park. Okay, it's it's it's a beautiful
6:25
looking tree and it's referred to as the the robin Hood Tree because it featured
6:30
heavily in the movie robin Hood Prince of Thieves, which I personally have not
6:33
seen on anything other than video. That'll give you an idea of how long
6:38
back it is since I've seen that thing. I personally didn't remember the tree.
6:41
But the tree looks like the tree from the fucking spar logo. It's
6:45
literally just sitting in the middle of two big ditties of hills and it's a
6:48
beautiful looking tree. And it was in robin Hood, Prince of Tieves.
6:50
And like, you know, if you're going for a walk along Hadrian's Wall,
6:54
which the tree is like right bang on the on the on the edge
6:57
of between England and Scotland, right that's Jean's Wall, right yeah, and
7:01
you can walk around it. So it'll be like walking down to Powers Court
7:04
waterfall and find someone had chopped down the waterfall, Like who fucking done?
7:10
Right? The chopped down the exactly my horror if I walked up and they
7:16
chopped the fucking waterfall, don't Jesus I'll be outrage. So the tree stood
7:23
there until twenty eighth of September two twenty three, which is last week and
7:28
Tom, as we sit here at last weekend, and it was chopped down
7:30
in the early morning. So they cut this son of a bitch down in
7:33
the wee hours of the night. And not only did they cut it down
7:36
in the wee hours of the night, Tom, they cut it down in
7:39
the middle of Storm Agnes, which hit here pretty hard. I mean,
7:44
like blow your bins around hard, but like you were talking about, being
7:46
on the actual fucking wilds of a national park in the middle of Storm Agnes.
7:51
And straight away everybody knew it was done deliberately, Tom, because you
7:56
know, it didn't have to get the forensics offers on this things to give
7:59
away that the sawdust and the chainsaw mark directly through the base of the of
8:05
the tree. Kind of goes yeah, okay, this wasn't just like hacking
8:09
at it. This wasn't the wind that blew it down. And they said
8:11
that they lifted a sixteen year old boy on account of it. Now that's
8:16
when my spidy scents started tingling there a wee bit, Tom, All right,
8:20
yeah, okay, So it's one thing for a sixteen year old to
8:22
go spray paint sunglasses on the Luke Kelly statue. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah,
8:28
or like you know, carelessly break a thing that are like, yeah,
8:33
you shouldn't have broke that. That's fucking a handed years old, or
8:35
you shouldn't have spray painted that. I personally, you've never heard of it.
8:41
Teenager rebelling against society by chopping down any fucking tree there doesn't like there
8:52
are so many reasons why a sixteen year old, like as you texted me
8:56
this morning, there was probably sixteen, seventeen or eighteen year old sitting at
9:00
able beside me and to say that they were the most disinterested on engaging humans
9:07
on the fucking planet, Like they were barely humans how Like they were glued
9:11
to their phone, not uploading any or creating any content, just glued to
9:16
their phone, just wiping through and head absolutely down. In the moment,
9:20
I was like, I couldn't get you fuckers to prune a rosebush out of
9:24
badness, And like, you know, maybe we have all this ahead of
9:28
us with our own kids, Tom, but like, is that a thing
9:30
these days that the kids when they hit sixteen or seventeen and the mad at
9:33
moment Dad, They're like, oh god, that's it. I'm out of
9:35
here. The foliage is getting us. Just look out, some uncle of
9:41
cushing the lawn. Like yeah, just I'm gonna trim my headgerow. I'm
9:50
gonna trim a hedgerow. It's best not to talk to him until he gets
9:54
to the end. But then it gets that the leaf blower tight is up
9:58
after himself. It's just onest, it's it's just a different person this year.
10:01
I don't know what it is. He's just fucking up foliage everywhere,
10:05
fucking up just plant life. Yeah, there is no unless, I mean
10:11
no, there is no unless. Actually there's absolutely no unless. It's not
10:15
that the tree wasn't the way of any They weren't ever gonna be able to
10:18
like, yeah, we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna get into how
10:20
fucking in the wilderness. This tree was tom like my my like honestly,
10:26
like it was announcing the news as an act of vandalism, and my word
10:31
was Initially I was like, well this this seems more like protest. This
10:35
seems more like something like just stop oil. Would do like and just stop
10:41
oil? You know, well, well meaning kids and all that kind of
10:43
crack, like would they rip a tree down and say, oh, in
10:48
fifty years, all trees will be down if we don't stop it. And
10:50
this is just a you know, if you care so much about this tree,
10:54
then why don't you help us save all some sort of protest like something
10:58
that had some sort of meaning to it. Maybe not Tom, who knows
11:03
that the dice hasn't finished rolling on this one. But then it come to
11:07
come to pass that a sixty year old former lumberjack was arrested yesterday morning in
11:16
connection with it, working in conjunction with the sixteen year old, so the
11:20
two of them together. So I'm like, ah, okay, yeah,
11:24
all right now, yeah yeah yeah, all right, yeah yeah yeah,
11:26
I can see where we're going here. Now a wee bit more, a
11:30
sixty year old former lumberjack given orders to a sixteen year old to do the
11:35
donkey work. Now, I'm buying a tom, Yeah yeah, yeah,
11:39
that's more like it. I would imagine at most points, the only the
11:46
only involvement the sixteen year old had was hearing the words would you hold that
11:50
fucking light straight? Would you hold that light steady? The sixteen year old
11:54
was was was was either carrying doing old laboring and carrying, or he was
11:58
holding a light in the in the middle of the fucking night. Because I
12:01
don't know if anybody out there has ever chopped a tree down, But like
12:03
you know, you go at it like the sit in Star Wars. Always
12:09
yeah, always too. There are a master and an apprentice, you know
12:13
what I mean, Like it's the appendence doing all the fucking darkey walk the
12:18
metro Clorians or whatever they're called. They're strong in this one. Also you
12:22
take kun't pick up that fucking yolk before, which is one you would have
12:26
never heard in Star Wars. But truth be told, if it was true
12:28
to the world, you know, they're fucking local. Anakin Skywalker probably should
12:33
have gotten a few boots in the hole actually a few times down the line,
12:37
like going, you're stupid bollocks and no you're not having fucking breakfast rolls.
12:41
I don't have a charge of the home. Shut up to fuck we're
12:43
working for today? Would we say the furst is strong with this one?
12:46
Tom okay, okay, all right, so like okay, now I can
12:56
see it. There's a sixty year old and a sixteen year old. If
12:58
they are indeed guilty, they protest their innocence, and you know, I
13:01
don't want to align them otherwise. But like without a shadow of doubt,
13:05
now I can see this unfolding, and this night did not pass Tom without
13:09
the phrase don't stand there, Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Let the
13:13
fucking dog see the rabbited super bollocks. Okay, so soldiers, that now
13:20
why they would cut I cannot fucking labor the point enough, Tom to tell
13:26
you how far on the fucking windowness this place is. Okay, So to
13:31
give you an idea of where the secondmore gap tree was, it's a long
13:35
Hadrian's Wall, and I went on Google Maps to take a look at this
13:39
sun bitch. Okay, all right? And Adrian's Wall is like stone wall,
13:43
all right, but obviously it's very long and goes goes to let does
13:46
it go coast to coast? I think it does. I could be wrong,
13:48
but I'm nearly sure. I saw an episode of Top Gear where it
13:50
does. Anyway, there is a road beside it, like a public road
13:54
beside it, but it's still a forty five minute walk across what looks like
14:01
fairly scrubby land. To me, that's a fucking walk with a saw in
14:03
your hand down petrum. Okay, and if you wedges in a fucking chain,
14:07
maybe that's a lot like at night during a storm. Yeah, now
14:13
that's if you stopped your car on the road and walked perpendicular to the road
14:18
over to the tree, like forty five minute walk. Go outside now and
14:22
walk for forty five minutes, ladies and gentlemen, to see how far it
14:24
gets you. All right, Yeah, there is like like a walking path
14:31
that takes you to it. Now I couldn't really find where that started or
14:33
stopped. But again, like far away, we're talking you know, the
14:39
basic row Patrick, Like you know, you're talking about walking around the basic
14:43
Ropatrick to find a tree to chop the fucking thing down. It's not what
14:46
and also it's you're ain't walking with a couple of spreak ends in a bag
14:48
on your back to go just as you said some graffiti. You're taking a
14:50
saw, at least one saw, if not too You've got probably got a
14:54
wedge or two, which is well fucking sledge and or a fucking an ax
14:58
like that tree came and clean. Whoever dropped the tree came down cleaned.
15:01
That's why I went when I heard a sixteen year old and like, no,
15:05
no, that didn't happen. All right, we'll get into that now
15:09
in a week. Second of how a sixteen year old a chopped down that
15:11
tree? Tom, They said they did it over the core and the cover
15:16
of Storm Agnes, so no locals can hear it. But I'm looking at
15:22
Google Maps and I can't see a fucking house for fifty miles. Yeah,
15:28
all right, yeah, and little fucking park you don't get it's a National
15:31
park plant and permission, the National fucking parks, Okay. And I was
15:35
thinking we'll go into a couple of conspiracy theories here now in a little second.
15:39
But this tree is in the fucking arshold and ore and like I dare
15:43
say, like you could cut this down on a bank holiday and if he
15:46
timed it right, no one did catch at twelve o'clock in the middle of
15:48
the day. Like I don't know who in Northumberland is just out on the
15:52
porch at a quarter past four in the morning, good weather or bad,
15:56
just going like is that a chainsaw? They're going after the sycamore gap on
16:02
the quad bikes. I love there was like a Special Forces you know,
16:06
like the Swiss Guard, purely a lot purely set up for the tree,
16:11
like just purely, and they have never been engaged because nobody's ever attempted to
16:15
cut the tree down before. You know, it's almost like an out of
16:19
nowhere like these fucking eighty year old fucking Special Forces's. Finally, you know,
16:26
the beacon finally goes off. But well there's oldly worldly beacons you know,
16:30
with like a metal cage around it. Stuff are bulkhead of a thing.
16:33
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. The So one more time, I implore
16:40
you looked this up on Google Maps and see how the fucking wilderness of it
16:44
it is. It is why these lads decided to go and do what they
16:48
did. And again we want to pause the podcast and say it, don't
16:51
chop down trees. Don't be a deckhead. Despite the advice that we will
16:55
give you now in ten or fifteen minutes, don't chop down trees. But
16:59
this wasn't like you know, drunk kids tom walking past it on the way
17:03
home and and and and yanking it down. This wasn't a traffic going put
17:08
on filling it. Do you know what I mean? No, And again
17:11
This wasn't like, you know, I climbed up on the Oscar Wild statue
17:17
to get a selfie when I was drunk and I slipped the whole fucking thing
17:19
off the rock and smash Oops. Kids at play or someone that was like
17:23
I did Oscar Wild for my leaving certain fuck you and through a pine class
17:27
atom while waiting for a taxi in Margan Square, Like this was planned.
17:33
The water was checked for this, Tom, Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:36
And the gear like it's the gear, it's just that's the thing that's hold
17:38
that's catching me. Is like the gear you gotta haul to that job to
17:42
make sure because if you run out of petrol, you ain't finishing the jobs.
17:47
You're bringing enough petrol mixed. You gotta mix your petrol most likely,
17:52
and then Jesus like your sneeds to being top action. You need a good
17:56
husk barn and going through that fucking thing. Oh you're not going to this
17:57
with the fucking aldi. No, the park side one is not going through
18:00
this, not going through this machine. Terribly sorry. Now, motive,
18:07
Tom, let's talk about motive. What if we rule out if we rule
18:11
out just random vandalism, like like okay, just fuck it, I took
18:15
a wild hair up the hole, and I'm going to go chop this tree
18:18
down just out of pure fucking badness or indeed, you know, drunken madness
18:22
or anything like that. My first thought, and I'm sure yours was as
18:26
well. Will be something along the lines of land dispute, be it planning
18:32
or otherwise. That wasn't my first I had it definitely bobbled into my head.
18:37
But what a national park is nobody's lands. Nobody's And that's why I
18:41
was kind of going, nobody's fucking land. Now here's the question from which
18:45
side of the wall. You may already get a start guessing from which side
18:48
of the wall were the two lads that were arrested. Doesn't say not,
18:52
No, we do not. We do not have that information open to us.
18:56
The tree is growing on the south from what I can from what is
19:00
Yeah, it's from what I could tell from the map, it's on the
19:02
side side. Now, if you had two people from north of that wall
19:04
who had a problem, let's say, with maybe the hierarchy from the south
19:11
of that wall, this might have been a statement to say, like what
19:15
I'm trying to say is a couple of angry Scottish lads pretty fucking sour or
19:19
what maybe or maybe what was happening with South of the Wall where they're still
19:26
technically governed by I mean, you grew up in Managus, you have an
19:30
understanding of how the lines on the fucking map. But this is literally a
19:37
fucking episode of the Simpsons. You're describing Tom where the rip up the lemon
19:40
tree and Shelby into my head. That's it popped into my head, I
19:45
swear to God, like I mean, like that's that that that's that's interesting.
19:51
But like the tree I don't believe was on anybody's land because it was
19:53
a National park and be like we getting Man of the Tree in crow Park
19:56
in Thames Park right possibly, but if you if you were if you think
20:03
if the tree is in England, but the saw owners came from Scotland right
20:08
out poking the eyes of the British English establishment, doesn't it? I mean,
20:14
like it's it's It's as good a theory as we have right now,
20:15
Tom, Listen the way the other thing that the other thing that I thought
20:19
was that there is a walking path to get it, there's a hiking path
20:26
to get to it, and there are public roads at various points that you
20:30
need public access to, and I guess like some of these paths would come
20:37
and go over public land and pulling a lot of this out of the whole
20:41
of a sun. Even in here, Tom, So I was thinking,
20:44
like, you know, perhaps there might have been some appeal to whatever national
20:48
body owned the national park to say, hey, these lads of traps and
20:51
all over my land they're leaving gates open that then bawls out and all this
20:55
kind of crack. I need you to do something about that. For me,
20:59
yeah, nothing was done. And as an act of defiance, I
21:03
suppose and biance and get back at you. I was like, right,
21:06
well, fuck you in your tree, I'm dropping a town. The whole
21:07
thing doesn't make a whole lick of sense, Tom, And I'm looking forward
21:11
to seeing it coming to the four over the next couple of days. I
21:15
think in reality, it's probably closer to what you're saying. I mean,
21:18
I'm you know, I'm a revolutionary and whatnot and everything else. And I
21:21
did I just Glaswegian in the comedy club last night, like and kind of
21:26
tore intohim for their you know, their lack of compasion when it came to
21:29
you know, independence and stuff like that, because you know he was he'd
21:32
have been of an aggressive event, so I had to put him in his
21:33
place. So that's where I was coming. An aggressive Galwegian. Yeah,
21:40
I should say what it was. Allwegians are famous Cordwegians. They are actually
21:44
lovely people from fine rugby club too over there in the west of Ireland.
21:48
But yeah, but I don't know if you've known more about the Sickamore gap
21:51
Tree you could have gotten his take on it. To be fair, he's
21:53
here thirty years. I don't think the bloke would have given much of a
21:56
fuck about a sickamore gap. But my just for I would imagine it's probably
22:03
going to come down to something like what you're talking about. What my notion
22:07
was, possibly because we probably don't keep a staunch eye on British politics or
22:14
even fucking Irish politics at that but forestry in England, I gotta tell you,
22:18
I'm not very well versed in Tom's It tends to pass me by typically,
22:23
but this I would I would love the notion that this guy was kind
22:26
of freedom did when ran up there and with his face painted blue and shit
22:32
like chapter dude, dude, the tree was literally minding its own business one
22:36
foot inside England. Like fair enough, you could have cut it by leaning
22:41
over the wall from Scotland. But I mean the tree has fallen into Scotland.
22:45
Actually the tree has fallen, it's gone over. Technically it's there.
22:51
They're tree now. Maybe maybe like that the shelby with a lemon, try
22:57
scenario that it's ours now, good luck, a fuck you. As for
23:03
why this was done, Tom, we don't know. What we can speculate
23:07
is that we've said this wasn't a crime of passion, So this was a
23:10
job planned, passion timed crime of passions. Tom. You know you have
23:17
a right with the missus and just smash a whiskey glass into the fire and
23:18
go out and chop down a tree. I mean there was there has been
23:22
quite a few people getting the gate got engaged at the tree. So maybe
23:26
the tree is the three is big business, you know what I mean?
23:29
Maybe it was. It was like a guy trying to relegate the wars.
23:33
That's in all the way fucking back. I swear to God him turn up
23:37
all her pictures. I don't want to know. Wait, you know what
23:41
all the lovely moments I had with her and trust down the restaurants on their
23:45
first dates, fucking found the card that they first fell in love in and
23:49
rode in and burned that to the fucking axles and then went, I got
23:52
one more thing to do that fucking tree where I got down on one knee.
23:56
That's very interesting, Tom's you're talking like a spurned lover who was looking
24:03
through his or indeed her, but no, his photo albums. She was
24:08
a sixty year old lumber jack, unless you I mean like it. That's
24:11
that's it. Just said, sixty year old lumberjack and bigger I am.
24:15
I just assumed it was a man, the male show of us that we
24:18
are the top pricks, that we are absolute pricks. Oh my god,
24:22
I never thought, But no, it is man. Yeah, looking through
24:26
is looking through his photos and so a picture of himself and herself at the
24:30
at the tree, and he was like, Okay, that tree's not gonna
24:33
get another one. The tree's done enough damage. Oh my lord, But
24:41
this one, this one was cooking, Tom, This one was this one
24:45
was percolating for a while. So these people planned to cut down this tree,
24:49
Tom, and spoiler alert, they fucking succeeded. Okay, you wanted
24:55
to get a tree on the ground. They achieved it. That would have
24:59
cost you a good for you, that might have cost you five hundred quid
25:00
to get done. That was so cleanly done, dropped it right beside it,
25:06
I mean clean cut. That was a good job that they did.
25:08
That was a good job, all right. That was the other That was
25:11
the other part of the Tom and Jerry Venn diagram. Knocking things down a
25:15
lah fred dibna. He knew a knew where a knew where it was going
25:22
to land. Although we'll get into it in a little second, Tom,
25:23
it did land on the wall. And like you know, we'll get into
25:26
it in a minute now when we get into how you and I would have
25:30
cut down the second Moore Gap tree where we would have liked it to fall,
25:36
so it may not you know, let's let's let's let's get into it
25:40
again. We stress don't cut down trees. Well, cut down the tree.
25:45
They did are unnamed assailants, Tom, okay, and they got the
25:48
thing down and close up pictures of it. This is this is when people
25:52
started to go like, I wasn't a fucking sixteen year old to cut this
25:55
thing down? Because there's actually like a perfect plumbline band. Actually, you
26:00
would have forgiven anybody for if you wanted it to fall in a certain direction.
26:03
For giving it a cut one way with a wedge, cutting out a
26:07
wedge and then coming in at the other side. That was a big fucking
26:11
so he used too because it looks like a clean across a cut, and
26:14
the tree is about three foot across, like you know, and and it
26:18
was the line around it that kind of gave me pause because, like you
26:22
know, sixteen year olds tom Like a sixteen year old will cut a tree
26:26
down. I'd imagine a sixteen year old will cut a tree down. But
26:27
if you were just to leave a sixteen year old to his own devices to
26:32
cut a tree down, how do you think he would go about it?
26:34
What do you think is the first thing he'd do? Well, let's assume
26:40
he's sixteen. He's a fucking idiot, you know, and chances here's the
26:44
thing, a tree like that, in a storm like that, cutting a
26:47
tree down, he'd be a dead man. Now, Oh absolutely, that
26:49
tree would have clipped him under the fucking chin and blown his fucking head into
26:55
Southern England. That's exactly you know what I mean that thing would have spun,
27:00
popped up and bang saw have either been stuck in his fucking frontal cortex
27:04
or his head actually leave his body and not have lended yet. It would
27:10
have hit it so fucking hard. Indeed, that's where a sixteen year and
27:15
he would be got floating in the fucking North Sea. Where What I really
27:19
want to do is show this to the old man. This I haven't I
27:25
haven't seen him, to show it to him, because he'll he would forensically
27:27
go through that because he was he was a lumberjack for a while. There
27:30
you go. My grandfather, my mother's father was a lumberjack for a long
27:34
long time. And I'm talking to the r I'm talking to the right people
27:37
here, Tom, There's there's there's form here, there's form there. Here's
27:42
what Here's what I think. What I think a sixteen year old would do
27:45
on his first day out chopped down a tree. Let's say that he went
27:49
at it would have chainsaw. I would imagine that he would have chopped at
27:52
that for about three to four minutes before the blade got so hopelessly fucking stuck
27:57
six inches into it. Would never get it out again because he would just
28:00
go right. I just start here and I cut straight through the thing,
28:03
and the tree rules over just ever even an eighth of an inch, and
28:07
the blade is stuck and you're never fucking getting it out. You can't,
28:10
you can't rev it, you can't do nothing there. So as part of
28:12
the tree. Now, yeah, good night, and thanks. Maybe get
28:15
a spanner and just take off the fucking blade and walk away and just now
28:18
you've got an engine. That's all you've got left. It wouldn't that.
28:21
I was probably brillempt and probably jumping. You're one hundred percent right. There's
28:26
no way he would have even gotten to the point that tree would come apart
28:29
like it's there's such complexities, and we've all watched we've all watched the log
28:33
on programs. Yes, indeed, you know what I mean. These lads
28:36
are class at what they do and stuff. But they literally if it's a
28:40
young lad, he's maybe twenty twenty two, and he's got a guy standing
28:44
over who's cut a million fucking trees showing him how to do it. In
28:48
the middle of the dark in a storm, putting the fucking tree down,
28:52
there is not a prayer in a fu And I mean, look it could
28:57
be down to a fucking you could have said, oh, well it's it
29:00
was just a dare. Dares don't come like that. It wouldn't. And
29:03
as you said, I assume he used yeah, like you know, like
29:06
a gang initiation. Okay, like you to be part of the fucking Northumberland
29:10
crips, you got to cut down the sycamore tree like it's not it's not
29:17
happening. The thing well you hit, you actually made the caveat that well,
29:22
I'm assuming he would have used the chainsaw, I can tell you right
29:26
now. Was to get the best fucking steal access in the world. And
29:30
I do follow a lot of these accounts on different social media's where they the
29:34
people listen to this probably watch unboxing a fucking game controller and fucking stuff like
29:38
that. I literally watched review videos of excess. I'm so fucking cliche.
29:45
It's not even fucking funny, do you know what I mean? It's but
29:48
there's a couple of New Zealand guys that are fucking amazing ex fucking x men.
29:52
I suppose you'd call him, but even they on their greatest day would
29:57
probably have to take near the twelve hours with an AX to take that fucking
30:03
thing down. This is what I wanted to get into, Like you know,
30:04
the old fashioned notion that like you're seeing cartoons like elm or Fudd or
30:08
whoever. It is. Chopping a tree down, you swing it, swinging
30:11
axe out of it a couple of times, and you cut like a beak
30:14
out of it and the thing folds down. Let me tell you, tomp,
30:17
that is not happening. Nope, Nope, that is not happening.
30:22
I've never cut down a tree with an axe, but I did try to
30:26
chop up a telegraph pole with an axe. Yeah, a telegraph pole that
30:30
was already on the ground. It was lying on the ground, and I
30:33
wanted to like chopping half it. I said, like, okay, swinging
30:36
swinging axide it a couple of times a couple of telegraph pole is like you
30:40
know, yeah exactly. I thought, like, whack, whack, we
30:41
get this done in five or six goals. I know, telegraph pole is
30:47
treated and fucking pressure treated and tired and all this kind of thing, regardless
30:52
of witch like it is like trying to It's like hitting a frying pan,
30:59
that's how hard it is. When you're hitting timber like against the grain.
31:03
You see people like chop logs. You put a log down and you chop
31:06
it down into the center of it, a log split, that's the grain.
31:08
Yeah, you're splitting out the green when you turned that, some bitch
31:11
around and you can chop that all fucking day. You had some bitch's not
31:15
you're you're you're as well. Bite well. To give people context, if
31:18
and this is flipping all the way back to the beginning of season six with
31:22
Fred Dibno, we would describe exactly how he brought down chimneys. What he
31:26
would do is he would knock out maybe a third of a hole on one
31:30
side, much like a tree. But he was coincidentally jerry stick lengths of
31:34
telegraph pole in there to support it because it was that fucking strong vertically,
31:41
you can't you know what I mean, You could not fucking snap the thing.
31:45
So the telegraph poles that you're describing are strong enough to take on these
31:49
in these stacks, like and yeah, and I wasn't And I wasn't sixteen
31:53
at the time, Tom either, like you know, so like I was
31:56
an older guy that had a bit of half to him. I like I
31:59
forget even know why I was chopping this fucking some pitch down. But there
32:01
you go. I had to be cutting half to make two poles. I
32:04
guess you had one pole you wanted to boom. But let's sixteen year old,
32:08
if he wasn't dunce, probably thought I'll take a hatchet up and just
32:12
start hacking at this. And I don't care if you're fucking sixteen year old
32:15
brock lesn or fucking hang around this thing. It's going nor the tree would
32:22
still be laughing at you, going yeah, come at me, son,
32:23
it ain't happen. But I mean, I think that lad was getting was
32:28
damp in the storm. I had like I had to look and look at
32:30
that tree again. I I it was such a fucking stunning cut that quite
32:37
often what you'll find is there's nearly a step in the cut. Yeah yeah,
32:40
yeah, yeah yeah, where they'll have cut a wedge and then you
32:44
go a little sometimes a little higher or lower on the other side below the
32:47
wedge, exactly really allow for a good fall, and you'll see it looks
32:52
a bit splitty and it's got spiky bits sticking up, and it's kind of
32:54
a step cut in it, and that nearly looked like if that's what they
32:59
did. They went back there afterwards and cleaned it off like they're gonna make
33:01
it a table of it, like you could fee. I just was about
33:04
to say you could stand the top of that and play a pool on.
33:07
Yeah, I was. I wonder did like did they I don't know,
33:10
I mean, did they fucking tiding up the job? Did go back and
33:15
looked like a laser cut, like God's eye that people are suggesting fucking blew
33:20
up that fucking that island in Hawaii. Yeah, came down to fucking laser
33:25
fucking a slice through that. It was like it's immaculate fucking the cut through
33:30
the thing before. Like it was so clean. I'm going to propose I'm
33:36
gonna propose a theory here, Tom, and then we'll get on to how
33:39
you and I would have would have got this job done. It was so
33:45
clean and done so well that the only plausible explanation is that these men were
33:52
hired to cut down another tree. They got Delboy and Rodney. Oh my
34:06
god, right, I don't think we can continue with the podcast. That
34:09
is the fucking best fucking and they cut and they stood back and go,
34:15
that's you know, that's a nice job. But you know what, we
34:16
we're proud of our work here. Let's just take a little time just to
34:21
even that off, not have any big spikes or splinters. Yeah, and
34:24
then sitting back with a with a cup of tea, and the foreman came
34:28
along, goes Harry, when are you starting to cut down the tree?
34:30
Lads? What have you been? Cut down the tree? Yeah? Two
34:34
things over that I pulled it out. Oh war, it defies fucking logic.
34:42
Tom anywish Wow. That is all I think we have to say about
34:49
the sycamore gap tree. Horrible loss to the community. You know what,
34:53
if you wanted to fucking cut down a tree and get it out of your
34:55
system, I'm sure there was a thousand other trees that weren't just quite such
35:00
a picturesque spot. And you know what, I didn't have so many sentimental
35:04
memories for many many people. And Kevin Costner, you're also saying, don't
35:13
fucking cut a tree down. You're listening to this podcast thinking, Okay,
35:17
Tom and Jerry fucking hate trees. They're telling us to cut them down.
35:21
You're wrong. With that being said. With that being said, it's I'm
35:25
definitely going to be cutting a couple of trees in about once time. I've
35:30
been party to tree felling in my time, Tom, I never wantingly,
35:34
okay, I never also into a forest and chopped ship down. These these
35:37
are these are glorified fucking weeds. These things that need to come out there.
35:42
There are the weigh some good trees. There was a there was a
35:45
there was a couple of and I'll be straight and honest with now, I
35:47
talk a good game. Oh, I've put down a little bunch of trees.
35:51
I've pruned a lot of trees, Tom, I don't think I've cut
35:53
down more than like, honestly, three to four trees that were in a
35:59
dane position we're going to fall or wearing the way of a wall. Yeah,
36:04
yeah, yeah. There was a big tree down at the roadside of
36:07
the house and then that came down because it got it grew outside at station
36:13
and it was, you know, a danger or should it fall, it
36:16
would it would have been onto the road and that's not good. So that
36:21
that had to get taken down because it wasn't going it was. It grew
36:23
too big to I guess it's big for its boots. I don't know what
36:28
they want yet, but even at that, my dad says, I know
36:30
that's not one for you to cut down. That's got a man in to
36:34
do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, some even even at that,
36:38
there are trees that you don't And my dad sent me up a ladder into
36:43
a tree with a chainsaw to cut down bits of the tree. I was
36:45
standing listen. There are times like that's a fully capable job for you,
36:51
flip. But what I'm saying your your dad was writing this, like even
36:54
even at the parents place, and my own man fucked me as he cut
36:58
down some trees. But they had these colossal things grow again, glorified out
37:02
fucking out weeds if you asked me, But they had them fucking huge.
37:06
We're talking fifty foot. They would have hit the house coming down the wrong
37:09
way. But you want to see the majesty of these two mountain men that
37:15
cut them down. I mean they could have landed them like they literally could
37:21
have landed them within inside a foot of where he wanted them to fall.
37:24
Fucking gifted. They make the trees fucking dance down. I'm gonna get that
37:30
spin ever so slightly and drop it right fucking there. And these trees that
37:34
were kind of doing their own thing growing all fucking different directions, all four
37:37
of these trees all down on top of each other, immachic, immacic.
37:40
And I feel like, you know, you know, to say, if
37:44
anybody given me all this in the fucking common section, I've planted more trees
37:49
than I've ever cut down town wide margin. I can tell you that much.
37:52
Okay, So there's that. So if we're going to cut down the
37:54
sycamore gap tree, if we're O. J. Simpson writing his book,
37:58
if I did it, are we wearing gloves? Is the question? Well,
38:05
what are we wearing? Tom? Okay? Okay, So let's take
38:07
a look at the sycamore gap Okay, it is in the fucking arshol and
38:12
over all right, genuinely in the arshol and our So we have to consider
38:15
tom when we're doing this, the ideal weather situations, what time of day
38:22
we're doing at, what I dare say, what season we're doing at tom,
38:28
what tools we're taking with us, how we're getting there, and by
38:30
roughly speaking, how this tree is going to come down. So I guess
38:34
it's a bit of a tutorialist how to cut down a tree, But please
38:37
don't use this information anybody to jump I can literally use this information if you
38:40
actually have to go down a tree. Trees have to come down, to
38:43
Jerry, it just just there's nobody for one second going to consider that.
38:47
Oh at the weekends, Tom and Jerry just go around with their fucking bulldozer's
38:52
just leveling trees for the crack. I don't know, Tom, it does
38:58
sound like a lot of crack. But as to say time, some trees
39:00
just gotta come down for other trees, it's you know what, this is
39:04
a maybe a problem with humans raising themselves so fucking highly. Sometimes sometimes trees
39:10
sometimes you just gotta cut out the shitty wood. And then there's a bad
39:15
tree that needs to come down because it's pulling down next y and z along
39:17
with it. All right, So that's one end of the scale, and
39:20
then the other end of the scale. You're fucking Saraman the whizz are just
39:22
ripping up trees left and right by the roots. And we'll look, we'll
39:25
talk. We're talking that. We can talk ends at the end of the
39:29
end, the ends degree. All right, Okay, so big gass tree
39:36
gotta come down, take a more gap. We're gonna we're gonna take that
39:38
some bitch down Now, if time wasn't against you, if you had your
39:46
pick of the year to take a tree down, nobody's there's no bulldozers waiting
39:54
to go anywhere, there's no fire wood needed. If you're pick of the
39:58
year to take a tree down, I would argue that you would wait until
40:01
late August when all the leaves were off. Yeah. Yeah, I mean
40:07
in this particular area, wouldn't be stressed about leaves or any of that kind
40:10
of thing. Because it's a tree, all right. I'd say we're contracted
40:13
to take down. It's fully legal contract to take down the sycamore gap tree,
40:16
because look at its fucking it's just got to go. There's a certain
40:20
breed, there's a certain breed a bird that flies through that gap and they're
40:24
on the verge of being extinct if they can't use that gap to fly through,
40:28
and that fucking old trees in the way. And they've contracted Tom and
40:30
Jerry to come in and take the thing out. So it's fully legal.
40:34
The whole lot all contract designed, and we have our we have our fucking
40:38
help safety contract put through. Everything is above board, and we're about to
40:44
start the job. I would yeah, but you know what be no harm
40:45
either. You want you don't want to place in muck and shit either.
40:51
I'm not suggesting that it's going to be splitting the stones in northern England,
40:53
southern Scotland either in the heights of the summer. But I think you're picking
40:57
right. Late August is normally a good, good old time of the year
41:00
to get out. Yeah, and and and and daytime. Let's just assume
41:06
the time to see you're up there early. Now, you are up there
41:07
early because you want to clear clear run of it. But Jesus, yeah,
41:12
you're not doing that ship in the fucking in the dark. That's water.
41:14
But let's let's let's let's say that we are doing this. We're not
41:16
contracted to do this job when we're near right, we want to we want
41:20
to make a fucking rock all belongs to Ireland protest. I don't know what
41:25
we're doing here, and we have to do it at night. Now when
41:30
we get into equipment, Tom, we're gonna have to factor that into the
41:31
guy. Yeah, fine, fine. I took a look on Google Maps
41:37
and it's the it's not Google Maps. Normally you can only put the little
41:40
man on Google Maps down on a road. But because there's like a National
41:45
park or whatnot. I can put a Google map man down right beside the
41:51
second ward gap three. Yes, because they use sege Google use a lot
41:54
of segways to do the ag Yeah. I mean want to use a fucking
41:59
quad bike for where this fucker of a thing is. It's beside a wall,
42:05
okay, So and I mean right beside a wall. So you've got
42:07
like a wall maybe a fun and a half three feet and a big gas
42:12
tree now on the other side of the wall, so what we're calling the
42:15
Scotland side of the wall. Tom, this is important. I couldn't get
42:19
a clear look at it, but it appears that there is a smaller tree.
42:23
Oh I didn't cop that at all. Okay, Now I think that
42:27
comes into play with the way that the tree that we're looking at was felled.
42:30
And we'll get into it now in a little second, okay, But
42:32
there is a smaller, much smaller tree they're beside it, and as an
42:38
anchor point for a winch or some such that could come into play. Yeah
42:44
yeah, yeah, so equipment, Tom, We're going to do this at
42:47
night. And I'll tell you one thing I'm not gonna I personally, Tom
42:51
I'm not going to wait for the cover of fucking storm Agnus to do this.
42:54
I'm not going to wait for an orange weather worn and to fucking do
42:58
this, because you know what, I'm going to cut down a tree at
43:00
two o'clock in the morning in the wilds of England. Yeah, you'll be
43:06
anybody. Anybody that's there at the time is welcome to challenge me. I
43:09
love chamesaw me hand. Yeah, and who the fuck is going to be
43:13
there at that our night. It's just not happening. Yeah, yeah,
43:15
I think I think the rain is over kipt Yeah, yeah, yeah,
43:19
the rain and the fucking wind. The wind is the number one thing that
43:22
The wind is the thing. Any any saw man is going to look at
43:24
that and go not the fucking hope because the wind, wind could take it.
43:29
It could take it in any fucking direction. That treat people don't realize
43:31
that. People think, oh, it's the saw that will kill you.
43:34
It's rarely. It's solid. It's the tree. Don a dance as it's
43:37
about to come down, and it spins on its axis and can kick up
43:42
in any direction. That's why you hear timber. It's not so much it's
43:45
coming down on you. It's to let everybody else's near the fucking tree to
43:47
get the fuck back, because this thing will kick up like a fucking mule,
43:52
like a mule out two hundred mules one time, all's trapped together kicking
43:58
you. And it's not even a case of ah, hey you know at
44:01
last, mate, If it skins you, you're dead man. You're dead
44:05
man. That's it. If hits anybody yet, it's blittering it, obliterating
44:08
it. Like there's so much power wound up in those fucking things when they
44:12
kicked down. Oh nelly, that's the thing. And again, like whoever
44:17
cut this fucking thing down, tom had some degree of skill that they could
44:21
put this down in the middle of an orange weather warning, because I'd imagine
44:24
the tree itself is sort of dancing around. It would be constantly pinching your
44:29
your saw right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, which is even
44:31
if you had that wedge to fuck like, that thing's swaying like constantly,
44:35
it's going to be trapping your saw blade. I think it was. It
44:38
was a fast job. It had to be a fast job, and whoever
44:42
did it knew exactly what the fuck they were doing. So I'm guessing they
44:45
were back and forth in and out of one, cut back into the other,
44:46
cut into the one, cut out of the you know what I mean,
44:50
because you wouldn't. That was definitely a wedge cut in it, yeah,
44:52
you know. And then so you'd have your straight if you imagine they
44:58
I suppose like your set square triangle, you're coming across, you're coming across
45:02
the ninety, you're coming down with forty five ninety down and probably in and
45:07
out of boat until the boat met somewhere around the middle of the tree.
45:12
But you couldn't go. I wouldn't imagine in that wind with that tree fucking
45:15
honking around the place unless you had a winch to a fuck from the far
45:19
side, like the like the bollocks pulled out of it. From the far
45:21
side. You'd have to be in a bit, in a bit, in
45:24
a bit, in a bit, in a bit, in a bit,
45:27
and just back and forth, cutting both both sides of that wedge. That
45:30
let's get it. Let's let's get into the winch and off a tom because
45:32
like anything I've ever cut down, the two trees that I've ever like fully
45:37
cut from standing to down, they were winched to fuck as well. It's
45:43
it is it's a necessary thing, and you'd see something now sometimes it's not
45:45
an option in a forest, you know what I mean, you're just going,
45:49
well, look we can drop it that way. It's fine, you
45:51
don't need it, No, but it was deemed necessary when I always dropping
45:55
these things, and I was like, I wasn't looking at this going like
45:59
yeah, I think we're a winches when it was me dag going like,
46:00
here's a winch that's older than you are, sun, that's wedge shut with
46:07
rust and fuck knows what. So let's chop this tree down so that we
46:12
can also get tetanus, you know. And the winch that we used is
46:16
called a Turfer wench. I don't know if you winch. I don't know
46:20
if you've ever used that one, Tom Turfer t I R F O or.
46:22
And it's a type of winch which is like a block with a handle
46:30
on it. Why are either side of us? No, you could probably
46:35
use a ratchet strap yeah yeah, h but this was this was built for
46:37
the purpose. It was like it was like a cable that you put around
46:42
the tree nice and high, so you gotta climb up, you gotta one
46:44
of these buckers had one of these fuckers had to climb up in the middle
46:46
of storm. Magnus, I'd say that's where the sixteen year old came in
46:51
if they did, indeed do it, who knows, climb up nice and
46:57
high so that when you tie your your basic pulling the tree in the direction
47:00
you want, and then you cut against where you're where you're pulling it,
47:05
so like you know, I pull it a bit to me, and then
47:07
I cut the other side of it, and it's gonna fall where I'm winching
47:09
it hopefully, and you keep pulling the lever on the winch like, and
47:15
I pulls the tighter and tighter and tighter and tighter while wedges and whatnots are
47:20
cut. I would not be doing this job Tom without a winch. I
47:23
promise you that. Well, I'm not a professional numberjack, so I need
47:27
to secure I need. I need this sort of training wheels of a winch,
47:30
knowing that that's pulling it in that direction. Yeah. Of course,
47:32
of course you mentioned it was gonna be at night. Clearly big lighting,
47:38
big league lighting, Like this isn't just your fucking headlamp stuff. We're gonna
47:42
need big lighting. Why, like we can we can do it all in
47:45
one here, I would suggest the Mark two lander over Defender with fifty fifty
47:50
tires under it. You can lock the different you're gonna do You're gonna drive
47:53
up to it. Oh fucking of course I am. Because here's the thing,
47:55
Jerry, I need quick exit. It's gonna be fucking wandering off with
48:00
I so solved my shoulder. Excuse me. No, we're going across land
48:04
and we're bringing the Landrover Defender, big nobly fucking tires because you can lock
48:07
the differential in those fuckers. They will come out of hell if you get
48:09
bogged. We're having hit the diff in here to hit the diff in here
48:15
exactly as well, big fucking leon Neon fucking led light bar, fucking thing.
48:22
You know, we want want to go fucking a million womens like we
48:24
want to go fund. You're not worried about the tree falling on your land
48:28
rover? No, well, no, I know exactly what I'm doing,
48:32
improved, you know. No, No, we're we will winch it off
48:36
in the right direction, but we just need the landrover over there for you
48:39
can put it in any direction. We ain't going to drop it on the
48:42
fucking landrover. Not a hope. No, okay, it sounds exactly like
48:45
what something to say before dropping on the land rover. Yeah, right now,
48:49
right now. No, here's what a here's what a complete lunatic might
48:52
do. He'd send the sixteen year up old up high enough with a fucking
48:54
rope on it, get up, and then bring him right down to the
49:00
fucking they hitch on the the landrover to the land robe. For the landrover
49:04
be a live fucking winch still getting into screen rolled on the front, given
49:08
it a small bit of fucking half clutch when time comes, and then and
49:14
you cut like fuck and put the strain and cut like fuck. See,
49:17
this is tom why I think that, This is why I mentioned that smaller
49:22
tree a little earlier. Yeah, because you are in the absolute. If
49:25
you're going to winch a tree to cut it down, you need to winch
49:29
it to something. Yeah. Yeah, you can't winch it to a skyhook.
49:34
Despite what I was told when I was sent, there are groundhooks you
49:37
can you can drive like a tent peg. You can get it like a
49:39
tent peg. We're talking like a big fucking three foot fucking iron bar.
49:46
You drive into the ground. But then that's just another thing that we have
49:50
to take with us. Fair enough. That's why I was bringing the landrover.
49:52
But okay, of course, excellent. I think these lads, I
49:58
think these lads winched it to the smaller tree on the north side of the
50:01
wall, and that is why it fell across the wall, right yeah,
50:07
yeah, yeah, yeah, as opposed to down the south side of the
50:10
wall, which is a hill that falls away. Because it hill, it
50:13
falls away quite quickly. If it was for vandal vandalism purposes only, that's
50:16
where i'd pull it. I'd pull it down in England. Not a fucking
50:20
hope. Would I be trying to get it up and over the wall to
50:22
light because it's like a flat plateau on the other side of the side.
50:25
Yeah. So I'm I'm thinking like they winched it to the smaller tree and
50:30
chop chop choplin and cut it down that way. Tom, That's what I
50:35
would have done, Okay, I'd have winched it to My brain would have
50:39
said, now you could, I didn't know you were bringing the land rover,
50:43
Tom, were getting there and stuff like that. I'm not yea,
50:45
nowhere you fucking caught you. See, this is the thing like. You
50:49
know, even if you do park up on the on the on the public
50:52
road and walk forty five minutes over to the to the tree, like and
50:58
you cut the tree down and you run away, you're still just there could
51:00
be cops waiting for at the park car. Yeah he's coming. It's clearly
51:04
these lads car at least at least with the lending, you can choose a
51:07
direction and going for whatever direction you want. And you've all your gear fucking
51:10
in the back. You've got to be bollocked after cutting that tree down,
51:15
like most people that would cut that tree down. My cut that tree down.
51:19
But then they're sitting down having a sandwich afterwards, you know what I
51:21
mean? That That that that that brings me to my next and possibly one
51:25
of my closing thoughts on this tom Which one of us is cutting it down?
51:31
Between the two of us, Yeah, which of us is winching and
51:35
which of us is cutting? I don't mind either. I don't mind either.
51:42
I think I think I trust you more to cut than yeah, okay,
51:46
yeah, I've probably done a fair bit more cutting. I'm only when
51:52
I when I when I talk about blades getting stuck in trees and things like
51:57
I'm talking from experience, from experience, all right. I was charged.
52:04
I was charged one time getting away from trees. I was charged one time
52:07
with like can going down a wall and it was it was a wall built
52:12
with six inch blocks on the flash. Yeah, and I was told round
52:16
about body height, there's a block there, smash the fuck out of that.
52:21
Whatever you need to do, just do it. And when you have
52:24
that one out, you can kind of take the top. You can kind
52:28
of work you take two out, and then you can sort of step them
52:30
down and then take them up, so you only really need to smash like
52:35
two blocks tops, and then you can all ster the next one up and
52:38
it'll come up, and then both of the other ones and they'll come down,
52:40
simple enough. I wedged the cango in it, of course it did,
52:45
because you're a young fel and you went fucking bananas. Rather than picking
52:49
picking away at Nice and Camberley, you went fucking out. I just went
52:52
like straight into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean
52:53
there's a metal for everything in life with youngsters there that like sometimes you just
52:58
need to is softly going around the edge of things, sometimes straight on in
53:04
you know what I mean. It's this is what I've said, Like you
53:06
know, when I said immediately that a sixteen year old didn't do that because
53:08
I knew exactly sixteen year old go at it with a gulp and get the
53:12
fucking chainsaw suck. It would be like he's it'd be like it be like
53:15
same telling that sixteen lad year old, Lad, go ahead and have your
53:19
force right there. You're not he's not going to get the job done,
53:22
like you know, he's gonna he's gonna get the stock at the saw stock
53:27
essentially, yeah, yeah, yeah, So to speak, I dare you
53:30
people to find a fucking podcast in the entire world that has just made that
53:35
crossover an analogy. I fucking dare you, Yeah, But I don't know.
53:38
I'm kind of thinking myself, sixteen we can we can say that about
53:42
sixteen year old I carry, yeah, you can, yeah, yeah,
53:44
yeah, maybe take it if we can call it? What the hell any
53:46
rate sixteen year olds idiots? They're not cutting down fucking second more gap trees
53:51
by themselves. So Tom, we get this tree down, we went,
53:54
I went, you caught? Yeah, or I you know, keep actually
53:59
funny to say it. If it was the Landing Rover, we were gonna
54:02
put a strain on this tree. Then maybe I'd give the land Rover driving
54:06
to you and I would call it. Yeah, it was that I'm just
54:08
going to take whatever is the easiest, most foolproof thing to do, you
54:13
know, well, yeah, I believe in my throttling throttling, yea.
54:17
And we would have to be in tune. I'd have to know when the
54:21
tree was coming, you know, I kind of we'd have to have a
54:22
week. Yeah, we'd have to have a weak we'd have to have a
54:24
weak sort of chuckle Brothers style system there. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
54:28
yeah, because it's no point we'll be putting fucking foot to the floor and
54:30
honking on this thing until you have it passed the point in the market words
54:35
of hall catch him song, past the point of fucking rescue? Do you
54:37
know what? The tree needs to be kind of going? And then you
54:42
only want to give it a suggestion to come with you. You don't want
54:45
to be honking on the fucking thing. And we're going to have to have
54:47
a visual method of communication with this tom, some sort of hand signal or
54:52
some such, because I will not be able to hear you because I personally
54:57
we'll be wearing all protective gear. I'll be wearing my ear mops face visor,
55:02
hard gloves Tom despite the fact that we are doing this under cover of
55:08
night, secretly, I will be wearing full high viz gear. Yeah,
55:12
yeah, yeah, because you want me to see you at the very least
55:15
you want me exactly, and I like, you know, I want glints
55:17
of me to be seen over and fucking dumb Freeze or wherever it is on
55:21
the tree. Connect with you to actually keep an eye on what directed you
55:23
go fucking flying exactly and pull me out from under your sycamore branches, put
55:31
your carcass out of from whatever whatever part of the ocean you lended. And
55:36
uh and and we would, I dare say, get the sycamore. I
55:39
despite all that time, despite us haven't taken an arrow ride of Asunder to
55:45
sit down and describe and plan in detail how we would, in optimal conditions
55:52
and the best possible situations weatherwise, time of the year, kill ourselves out
55:58
with the best tools, including the land rover that neither of us own at
56:00
this minute. And I don't know where the fuck we're getting it from.
56:04
I have a disco, but I'm not taking that across their fucking and you
56:07
want the old defender like you want, you want basically Fred's defender. A
56:09
lot of this is very Fred, you know, A lot of this is
56:13
very friend. We just resurrect Fred and send him over to pull the fucking
56:15
thing down. He would h have it down. It might be as fucking
56:19
quick. Despite all that, I still don't think we would do as clean
56:22
a job as was done supposedly by a sixteen year old and a retired sixty
56:30
year old lumber track. Something very fishy is a photo, yeah, not
56:34
wait to see what it is. And that is why Tom, I think
56:38
that the true story of what has happened with the Sycamore Gap Tree has yet
56:43
to play out. But I, for one, I'm looking forward to finding
56:45
out why these people did what they did, and I am also looking forward
56:49
to seeing them go to fucking jail if they are indeed guilty, because you
56:52
don't cut down at three hundred year old tree in a very nice spot where
56:55
Kevin Costner once filmed the movie if the very least Evin Costner, If that's
57:00
it, if nothing else, Kevin Costner, And that's what I gotta say
57:07
about the Sycamore Gap Tree, My good friend, Like you know, what
57:09
I second everything you said there I do. I'm just gonna blame the government,
57:15
something governmental about the fucking things gotta right. It's too clean of a
57:19
cut for me, For me, for Lad's rushing it in the dark in
57:22
the wind, for Lad's rushing in the dark in the wind. Something something
57:25
is awry. Who's to say it came down as darn magnus? Yeah,
57:30
who's to say? Yeah? It was watching it the day before midion minds
57:32
from fucking nowhere you know where you along the Northumberland National Park the day before
57:39
if the if a sycamore gap tree folds. The day before that it was
57:44
reported, did anybody hear about it? Let us know in the comments and
57:49
those comments. Sam can be found on all social media platforms. You can
57:52
follow him at Tom Underscore, o'manney, met at Jerry McBride. Aren't it
57:57
all roads lead to? At? Tom and Jerry would show I'll get you
58:00
in most places on your Twitters, on your instagrams of this world? What
58:05
else would we like these fine people to do? Tom? Whatever platform you
58:07
are listening on, Spotify, Apple Podcasts seems to be making a right rush
58:12
to the top of the minute. So if you are listening on Apple podcasts.
58:15
Please do leave a comment and rate us highly. I'm assuming as five
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58:22
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58:35
hit subscribe as your first time listening. You're like jazus Christ, what are
58:37
these fellows on about? Hit subscribe, We arrive. We will arrive into
58:40
your phone device whatever you're listening on, at least at least once or twice
58:46
in your lifetime. There's seven. We're in seven seasons now, so there's
58:51
clearly six others of some of these devour Some of these episodes are good,
58:54
you know, they're not bad. Actually, I like that one. I
58:59
like that in Product You we were very like on it there, like like
59:00
there you go, news guys. I like that we're not on it like
59:04
news guys today. So another one. We'll wheel back around again. Feel
59:07
free in the comments is Jerry mentioned many times? Feel free to please let
59:12
us know your theories on the scenario. If you are a professional tree feller,
59:15
will tree surgeon, which I always find funny because to be a surgeon
59:21
would suggest that you're actually trying to help the tree. But nine times out
59:22
of ten, the tree surgeon is just fucking murphy. I think it's coming
59:25
down. Yeah, so either way, you know, and the Tom and
59:30
Jerry Show is a safe space you can DMUs. We won't give away your
59:32
name. Have you ever chopped down a tree in the middle of the night
59:35
for whatever reason, spite planning? Who knows? Let us know. We'll
59:39
check chat about it, but we won't give away your name. We will
59:44
kind of probably will I please with you either, like you know, but
59:49
there you go, folks. We'll be back next week with another episode.
59:52
It may say episode four when we're talking on it. But sure, don't
59:55
let that worry you. Okay, this this, this is just a little
59:59
tree in the middle. This is not a thing to worry about it,
1:00:01
okay, And don't cut down any trees. How about that time. Well,
1:00:06
you can cut down some that don't necessarily need to come down, and
1:00:08
you look, look, we won't judge you if you've got a decent reason
1:00:10
for it either other than that, don't be fucking cutting trees down. But
1:00:14
look, very few people, in terms and conditions apply. That's why this
1:00:16
is such a big story. Very few people do do this anyway, but
1:00:20
look at them. I'm away, Jerry, I'm starving. Good look