Latest / Beyond Sovereignty / #004 - How To Have A Powerful and Effective Communication 💪✨

Transcript

#004 - How To Have A Powerful and Effective Communication 💪✨ · Beyond Sovereignty

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  Communication is the key to our survival. And it's one
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  of those skills that we've never actually really enhanced so
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  well. The divine masculine and the divine feminine energies are
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  completely different to those of the wounded or synthetic
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  masculine and feminine energies. Aggressive, violent, dangerous,
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  vindictive, spiteful, blaming. We have that within
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  ourselves. Everybody does because that is how society has
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  trained us to be. especially in a Western country. Our
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  men here are so shut down. Welcome,
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  Wisdom Keepers, Soul Tribe, and New Earth leaders to
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  Soul Temple, your haven for self-discovery and growth.
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  I'm Blythe Langford, and I am your guide to finding yourself and
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  your true, true, true, true, true purpose. Together, let's
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  shift from feeling stark and misaligned to living a
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  life of purpose and prosperity. I
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  don't know if you've realised that communication is the key to
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  our survival, happiness, and it's one
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  of those skills that we've never actually really enhanced so
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  well. We're all about how we can communicate
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  with everything else around us, yet we
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  haven't really learnt the skills of listening so well. Now,
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  I'm super passionate about this because I was a hairdresser for 20 years. 20 years
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  of listening to people. I had a new client in
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  my chair every 45 minutes telling me a whole different story.
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  And I had to, in a minute, figure out everything
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  that they loved, everything that they hated, and then give them something
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  that would make them feel like the most beautiful thing on the planet, right? So
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  my listening skills had to be second to none. And I want
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  to help you harness your communication
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  skills. Now, first of all, I want to also bring
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  this back to the difference between male and female listening.
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  Now we're going to go into this a lot deeper in other podcasts, but
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  right now I'm just going to give you the over brief of the whole listening
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  thing. Now with men, men in
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  their lives require freedom. So
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  if you can help a man feel free, he is going to feel like
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  a woman does safe. Because a woman's most important
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  thing to feel is safety. Now
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  I also want to bring this back to our divine nature
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  and our synthetic nature. what the fuck are you talking about? Also dive
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  deeper into this in another podcast. But the divine
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  masculine and the divine feminine energies are completely different to
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  those of the wounded or synthetic masculine and feminine
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  energies. So the masculine energies, like
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  imagine a divine man. So like a knight,
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  you know, like a knight is grounded, supportive,
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  They're also very intuitive. They're very calm,
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  cool, collected. They can hold space really
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  well. They make you feel safe as fuck. That
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  is the divine masculine. And the divine feminine
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  energy is really Like, imagine not
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  just a goddess priestess like everybody's doing, but imagine a
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  mother. They hold you like Mother Earth holds
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  you, provides you with abundance and safety
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  and nurturing and has all of your needs
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  being met. You just feel cared for and
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  looked after like this beautiful mama energy that's just like, oh, give
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  me a hug, I need some of you. that would be
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  the divine masculine and the divine feminine versus the
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  synthetic masculine or the synthetic feminine. So also
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  classed as what people would say is toxic masculine and feminine energy.
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  So toxic masculine is really aggressive,
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  really violent, like dangerous. You
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  can't trust them. Like their energy is going to be
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  sexually violating. that would be a synthetic masculine
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  and the synthetic feminine or the toxic feminine
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  would be vindictive and spiteful and
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  blaming as well and very triggering and
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  like that really chasing energy and super needy and like
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  just blah you know like we We have that within
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  ourselves. Everybody does because that is how society has
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  trained us to be. And we have all of
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  this masculine and feminine, the dualities of
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  the synthetic and the divine within us.
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  So it's about recognizing where we
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  are in any one moment so that we can use these
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  energies to come back into our organic state and
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  use ourselves and our divine nature
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  so that we can communicate effectively. Because that's all what
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  communication is about. It's about effectively expressing ourselves
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  so that the other person can understand what's
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  going on in our lives. But equally, the
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  most important thing that we can do with communication is
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  understand what is going on for the other person as well. So divine
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  listening is so important because a lot of us
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  are just so wanting to express ourselves that we forget how
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  to listen and be receptive of the information that
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  the other person is so deeply wanting us
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  to understand too. Now we'll go into that again in
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  another podcast. But right now, what I want to share with you
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  is the three elements of a relationship. Because
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  in a relationship, there is three energies. There's yourself,
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  your own energy, your partner and
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  their energy, and then there's the actual relationship. and
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  its energy. So each one of these three
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  things is a different energy. And if
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  you are in a relationship with another person, whether it's
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  a loving relationship, a sexual relationship or any
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  relationship, there is three parts, three elements to every
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  relationship. And so it's really important that we're working on each
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  one of those. So working on our own energy
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  so that we can be really strong and clear with ourselves
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  so that we can come into the relationship with beautiful boundaries
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  for ourself, so that the other partner in the relationship, they
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  can have beautiful boundaries for their self as well.
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  And when these two beings that are both strong
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  in their boundaries, working on a relationship and
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  the relationships boundaries then you're in a divine union
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  and that's all what we're really here for is this divine union
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  where we feel so met and so seen
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  and so loved yet we are also seeing
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  the other with such fucking love
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  that you just fall in love with every single part of their being and you're
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  in love with yourself and you're both working on this
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  divine union, on this relationship. How can you have
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  this divine relationship that is so
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  beautiful that you both want to show up for each and every day? And
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  like I said, this doesn't necessarily just need to be
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  with you and your beloved. This can
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  be with you and your business partner, because believe me, or
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  you and a work colleague, those relationships are even trickier because
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  there's no intimacy as such. You have
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  to work just generally a little bit harder on those relationships. So you'll
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  need to, again, work on your own energy Listen and
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  hear and be receptive of what that other being is
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  trying to express to you. And then it's like, okay, cool.
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  How do we both want this relationship to grow? And I
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  believe this is why I've been most successful with my salons
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  and my businesses being to seven figures and why my teams
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  have fucking killed it and made so much money
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  as well because we've all understood what it is that we
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  all want out of our relationships. I also want to share, and
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  that'll be a whole another podcast being about leadership because I am obsessed with
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  leadership and effective leadership because that will change your life no
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  matter whether you are a business owner or a manager
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  or a leader or a CEO or a CFO, whatever your role is, divine
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  leadership will change your life. With communication, the
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  most You'll probably notice this within yourself. The
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  thing that we do most is when that person starts speaking, before they've
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  even finished expressing themselves, we're judging and
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  we are through the filter of our own lens trying to express our
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  opinion on them. So we are in that moment projecting our
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  feelings of what it is that they are saying back onto
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  them. And then before they've even been able to express their
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  message, we have changed the trajectory of the
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  communication of what we are actually doing. So what
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  I would invite you to do with anybody that
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  you are communicating with, and notice your own internal dialogue when
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  this is going on, because believe me, it'll start to be triggered. Start
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  to listen without interrupting. So
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  let the other person express themselves completely and
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  allow them to finish in their own time without interrupting them. And
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  then before you express and
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  communicate from a triggered space, take
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  a deep breath and allow yourself
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  to incorporate what they have shared with you into your being
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  so that you can communicate in a way that's going to be really effective
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  for what's needed in that moment. Not from a place of your wounds and
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  needing to express yourself so
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  that you are being heard and seen and all of those things because you're
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  slipping into the toxic part of yourself, but allow yourself to
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  be integrated and breathe in for
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  a moment because then you'll calibrate new neural pathways within your brain
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  and you'll go to the the part of your brain that's able to
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  use both sides within balance, so your logic and
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  your creativity in that one moment, and you'll be able to
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  come up with a great place for where this relationship
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  and where this conversation is going to go. And then rather than it
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  being two of you butting heads with each other, It'll
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  be both of you in divine flow of where the magic of this relationship
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  and this communication can go. Because what I find is once
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  you start working with the energy of the other person and
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  start communicating together and listening and playing with
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  the energy together, Even in a work scenario it's
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  so magical where you guys can end up because the relationship starts
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  to flow and it's really beautiful and you get
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  on this like playfulness and you realize that work can
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  be fun and that you can co-create magic together. And
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  imagine what would happen if that was you and you're a person that you were
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  like liking and you wanted to get in a relationship to. You're
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  vibing and the energy goes together but you've got really strong boundaries
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  as well that could be potentially a divine union. Or
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  if it's you and a beloved and you for
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  the first time, if you're a woman, for the first time actually give
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  your partner, your boyfriend, your husband a
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  chance to speak completely in entirety when
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  you may not have been doing that before. allowing him to be seen and
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  heard, especially in a Western country. Our men here are
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  so shut down. They are so shut down from
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  the synthetic, toxic woman's perspective. And
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  it's not the woman's fault. It's how society has programmed us.
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  And it's OK because we're waking up to new ways of being. But
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  if you can give your man divine connection
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  and space and be able to sit there and look into his eyes
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  and allow him to share with you what's really going on
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  for him. You will
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  start to tap into your divine feminine
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  nature because your man will start to
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  feel safe to communicate with you, and fuck
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  it's what he's been waiting for. Remember, 20 years of hairdressing, literally
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  spoke to men and women about their relationships every fucking day and did
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  so much training on this. So it's like
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  a passion of mine to be able to help people to communicate together.
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  Because what I found was that a lot of women would be like, you know, I'm
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  just trying to get my message across and trying to get him to understand me and trying
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  to share what it is that I want to say. And he just keeps on avoiding me and stepping back and going
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  further and further away. Yeah, because babe, you are like
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  pushing him away with your energy. Your energy is becoming so needy. And
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  remember what I said at the start? A man, more than anything, needs
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  to feel free. Because that's how he
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  feels safe with you. When you allow him freedom, So
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  maybe you need to share your message and give him space so that he can feel
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  free. It's the same within like your work scenario,
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  especially if you're a woman and you are leading men and you
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  always coming down as the authority figure over
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  the men in your business, you are acting probably like
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  a woman that has been a caretaker or a mother. and
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  you have that mother toxic energy coming down on him, he's
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  just going to tap out. He's going to avoid the situation. He is not
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  present with you anymore. When you think that you need to go harder and be
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  stronger and more assertive with that man, you are pushing
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  him away even more. He's not thinking that you're
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  masculine in that moment. He's thinking that
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  you're like his mother or you're like his grandma or his auntie and he's
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  gone into a trauma response and that's why he's fucking emotionally tapped
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  out. Provide space by
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  coming back into your divine masculine
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  and feminine, because we all have divine masculine and
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  feminine energies within us. I'm going on a trajectory here, but a
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  lot of women feel like they are more masculine in their energy.
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  Let me ask you this. If there is a lioness
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  with her cubs, what do you think her energy is
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  going to be like? A divine mother
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  in her energy is going to be fighting tooth
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  and nail for those cubs. It's the female lioness that
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  goes to fucking fight rather than the male. She's the one that's
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  going to fight for her kids, right? I mean, they both will, but mothers
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  out there, you know, it'll be the mother that fights for her kids and her cubs even more.
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  So we've been trained to think that
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  feminine energy is not fierce. Feminine energy is
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  fierce. It will fight for those behind us. It
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  will do whatever it takes for life to
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  come through because that's what feminine energy does. It
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  fights tooth and nail for life force, right? But
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  you don't need to attack your man. You will fight for them, not
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  against them. We are in a holy relationship
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  together, a holy, divine, committed relationship together.
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  So we want to work with both of these dualities of
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  relationship and energy. went on a tangent but I thought that was
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  really important because I know a lot of women feel like they're masculine
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  in their energy and I'm just here to say sister no you're not you're
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  an epic legend that just cares so much and people aren't
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  used to fierce feminine energy so do not put
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  yourself down and think that you are masculine. Instead, just
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  balance out what is going on in your world and find other
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  epic, fierce women that are also balanced
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  in their sacred masculine and feminine energies. Both
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  are vitally important. Both are going to be what helps
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  you feel more balanced inside as well. Coming back
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  to not judging the other person. We just
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  want to express ourselves and we feel wounded when
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  our other party is telling us these other things because we're
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  not breathing in our nervous system so we're stuck in
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  our head. We're stuck in our fight, fright, freeze or fawn response.
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  And that's why we're in our wounding. And that's why we need to be
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  letting them know from our toxic, synthetic version
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  of ourselves that we need to, like, correct the
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  situation, that we need to fix and change and da-da-da-da. No,
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  babe, you don't need to do that. You just need to listen and allow them to
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  express. Once they've expressed, rather than you having all the solutions, we
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  figure out the solution together. So thank you. This is
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  what I would always say. Thank you. so much for sharing your point of
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  view. Wow, I had no idea that you were feeling that way. What is
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  the solution that you've thought of through this? What's the end game here?
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  What is it that you actually want the end
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  result of this to be? They'll have one of two answers. They've thought of the answer,
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  or they'll figure it out right then and there, or they have no fucking idea. Either
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  way, If they have thought about the solution that
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  they want, amazing, great. They've actually thought about the solution. You
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  don't need to worry. Allow that to actually sit in your being
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  and see if that is something that you want. to work
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  with together. Or if it is something that doesn't really
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  align with you, the best thing that you can do is not
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  answer in that moment. Say, look, thank you so much for your point of view.
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  I love it. I don't know if it sits super well with me. So I just want
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  24 hours to like just think about it. You know, like I just want to think about
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  I don't want to decide right now what you're saying. It's triggering a little bit within
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  me. And I don't want to say no to what you're expressing here, because it
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  might just be my wounds that are expressing their no. When actually what
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  you've said is fucking epic, and I just need to
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  calm my nervous system before I give you a response. Because once you calm your nervous
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  system, and I generally find once I have a sleep and go for a run on
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  it, or you might need to go and do some yoga or have a cacao, I
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  don't know, then you'll have a different point
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  of view on what that other person has said. So just don't
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  respond straight away. If you're hyper reactive, and
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  I know being somebody that has ADHD, Babe, I'm fucking hyper reactive.
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  That's why I meditate every fucking day so that I can come
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  back to people and not be like, from my brain. I
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  want to be responding from my heart and my spirit and my soul. And
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  I want to make sure that we are like in this journey of life
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  together. And that's what I would love for you to experience too. Another really
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  important thing with communication is acknowledge their
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  experience. too often we are like hearing
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  what somebody is saying to us and we're just all on like projecting
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  our shit back onto them. So another really amazing thing that you
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  can do is once somebody is communicated with you just say thank you. Like
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  thank you so much for sharing your opinion with me and
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  just acknowledging them and saying thank you it raises the vibration and
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  the frequency of the whole communication because they're like wow
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  this epic legend is like thanking me for just
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  sharing my expression. And so you know what
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  you're actually doing, you're encouraging more of that authentic expression. They're
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  like, wow, you are providing a safe container. And
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  then they'll want to share more with you, right? Because
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  it's not just every single person. Every single person feels safe
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  in their being to communicate. So we actively as
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  humanity need to create these safe spaces together. And
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  it comes with practice and it comes with showing up and it
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  comes with thanking the other person for their experience. And
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  it comes with that other person feeling
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  safe in your energy. Because we can talk about
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  safe containers and all of that, and in our mind we can
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  feel safe, in our heart we can feel safe, but you know what probably doesn't feel
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  safe? Our body. Like our body is
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  like, something's not right here. Because your
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  gut is where you've got like all of this energy stored
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  and your gut might not be agreeing with your body and your mind. So
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  that's why your body and your nervous system will take a lot longer
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  to feel receptive in the communication with other
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  people. So it might take a few times to show up and
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  just be in that space and be a little bit awkward and be a little bit weird and
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  not communicate effectively, but you'll be, your body will
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  be communicating and receiving energy. So that's okay too.
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  Now. Another thing that's really great, once you've
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  taken the time to think about what it is and how it
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  is that you want to respond, tune in with your
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  response and how you feel. Like generally after you've taken 24 hours
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  or even 12 hours to think about what a person has communicated with you, how
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  you're going to respond is completely different
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  to how it was yesterday. And you're thinking about this, like, what's
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  going to be the greatest thing for the, the greatest outcome for
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  both of you, rather than just what is going to be the greatest outcome
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  for your wounds and what your projections and what the ickiness that you
• 20:56
  are experiencing is. So it's going to be this beautiful response
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  of You know what? I heard about what you said. I thought about
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  what you said and like, I love it. Like this
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  da da da da. And I'd love to add in this. Because once
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  you'd love, like once you can see the beauty in what they
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  are responding to you, once you can see the beauty
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  of how they are communicating with you and then you add in
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  your piece, then that's when this divine union happens and the
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  communication becomes harmonious.
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  and beautiful and grounded and
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  you guys flow together. So you're not just up here in
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  your minds and which is great but you also
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  want to ground the communication within your body. Because
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  that's what you really want. You want an embodied relationship. That's what we all
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  want. That's what I believe, you know, after speaking to thousands
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  of clients, that's what everybody wants. Everybody wants to
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  be seen. Everybody wants to be heard. Everybody wants to
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  be felt. Everybody wants to be loved and cared for
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  and nurtured. So take your time.
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  Take your time. And also consider
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  this. care versus
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  people-pleasing. A lot of it's when we want
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  to respond straight away, we're responding from
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  a place of people-pleasing, from appeasing the
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  other person, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, especially if you are
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  a high achiever or an overachiever if you've been somebody that's grown
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  up in chaos, which a lot of us are. That's a
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  whole nother podcast, but I understand you because similar to me, that's
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  how a lot of us have grown up. We've grown up in a lot of chaos. We've grown
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  up in a lot of emotionally unavailable caretakers that
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  have looked after us. So we people please, we
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  want to just like save the other person, especially if
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  you're a coach or a leader, you want to save the other person. They're
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  here to save themselves. You are here just to allow them to
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  step into the embodiment of who they are. And once
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  you can not save them anymore and allow
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  them to find themselves in this communication, in this interaction, that's
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  where the yumminess in your relationship starts to evolve because you've
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  empowered them. Especially if you're a woman talking about in
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  a relationship with a man, then you're strengthening
• 23:24
  the parts where that man has been so suppressed by humanity,
• 23:27
  being so suppressed by the mainstream, being so suppressed by women.
• 23:31
  Because yes, women, we have fucking suppressed our men. And
• 23:34
  we want to give them these safe containers so that they can fucking
• 23:39
  light themselves up. Because guess what? When they do that, when
• 23:43
  you've been the woman that does that, they want to be in
• 23:46
  your energy. They want to be near you and
• 23:49
  hold you and hold your vision and protect you and
• 23:53
  serve you because they fucking know
• 23:56
  that you care and you're not people pleasing and you're not
• 23:59
  needy. You are showing them the divine feminine
• 24:03
  in that moment. It's what your man has been waiting for
• 24:06
  and believe me, I have spent 20 years of listening to
• 24:09
  suppressed men and fuck, they just want a woman
• 24:13
  that can see them and hold a safe space. You think that your man
• 24:17
  wants a safe space? Fuck, your man wants a safe space. Fuck,
• 24:20
  he just wants a woman that can hear him and stop being so needy
• 24:24
  and toxically attaching to him. They want a woman
• 24:27
  that can just see him. The same that
• 24:31
  you want. You both want the same thing. Yeah,
• 24:34
  just give that a go. I'm sure it'll really help. And
• 24:38
  if you're a man, your
• 24:42
  woman just wants you to see her. She may have all of this going
• 24:45
  every, like a lot. We call it like, I did, I'll spend a lot of time
• 24:49
  with Tony Robbins. We call it a meadow report and it's not ugly
• 24:52
  or bad, but it's when a woman is coming into her
• 24:56
  body, like when she's had an experience where she's coming out of herself, she's
• 25:00
  all up in her head and so she'll just start to express and she'll just need
• 25:03
  to share things with you. And if you can try not to fix
• 25:07
  her, if you can just be there and hold her
• 25:10
  in her space, in her energy and
• 25:14
  not fix her and just listen. That's all
• 25:18
  she wants. You'll have her. You'll have her. And
• 25:21
  just look at her and just with your loving heart, just express
• 25:24
  your energy. Just hold, like what I mean by that is you're sitting
• 25:28
  there across from her and you're just looking at her just with pure
• 25:31
  love, with whatever she is going through, whatever she's going through. And she
• 25:34
  might be telling you some crazy shit because chances are she will. And you
• 25:38
  just like, you don't need to fix it. You just need to be there. The fixing is
• 25:41
  you just listening. You will
• 25:45
  melt her heart and her heart will be yours. And
• 25:49
  I'm not saying that in a way where you can manipulate her or anything like that because you can't.
• 25:52
  If you're sitting there in pure love listening to her, you're in your divine masculine
• 25:56
  and you're holding space for her. And that's all she wants. And
• 26:00
  she will open up to you like you want her to.
• 26:03
  And I'm not, I'm talking about on all the ways. Okay. I'm talking about in all the ways she
• 26:06
  will open up to you. And I know that that's what
• 26:10
  you're scared of being a man. Believe me,
• 26:13
  I've listened to a lot of you, thousands of you. You're
• 26:17
  scared of a woman's full energy because you're
• 26:21
  scared of your own energy as well. You're scared of tapping into
• 26:24
  your divine masculine as well because it's so easy not to
• 26:27
  commit. It's so easy not
• 26:30
  to commit to a woman. And many
• 26:34
  men are so scared to commit to women and they just end
• 26:38
  up in relationships with women who have manipulated them to get them there. I know I've
• 26:41
  seen it too. It's fucking gross. And if you practice these things
• 26:45
  with a woman, then you can get her into her divine femininity and
• 26:48
  you will have a relationship that You, your
• 26:52
  mum and dad, your grandparents, your great-grandparents, your great-great-grandparents,
• 26:56
  and all your ancestral line has been waiting for. Because if you do this,
• 27:01
  it's what your ancestors have called you here
• 27:04
  to do. This relationship will change the trajectory of
• 27:08
  our planet. This divine union will
• 27:13
  change the upbringing of children so that they can see
• 27:17
  what a real relationship is and then they
• 27:20
  will choose relationships that aren't toxic, that aren't violent and
• 27:24
  suppressive and all of the yuck stuff that we went through.
• 27:28
  Your healing in this divine communication will
• 27:32
  change children and change adults
• 27:36
  and That's exactly it. That's it. There's everything.
• 27:39
  It changes everything. It changes the trajectory of this world. And
• 27:43
  it's the relationship that you're here for. You're here for this divine
• 27:46
  expression of pure love. So open yourself up
• 27:50
  to the possibility, but that a committed relationship is
• 27:53
  potentially there for you because sweetheart
• 27:58
  or divine masculine dude, or like whoever is
• 28:01
  out there listening. I know that your heart
• 28:04
  yearns to be seen and heard. I know that your body
• 28:08
  wants to be caressed like it's never been caressed before. And I know
• 28:12
  that your soul and spirit wants this divine union.
• 28:16
  And did you know that your bodies, like when
• 28:20
  you actually are with somebody longterm, your actual
• 28:24
  inside your bodies, like both of you, this is going to be like full
• 28:27
  on out there. But your genitals actually start to
• 28:30
  communicate with each other long term. And when you do this over a long
• 28:33
  period of time, they have their own consciousness and they start to
• 28:37
  develop together and they evolve together. And
• 28:41
  that's why the mainstream is trying to break down
• 28:44
  relationships, right? And especially between the masculine and the
• 28:48
  feminine. I mean, people that were born with a vagina and a penis, because
• 28:51
  this divine union is beyond sacred
• 28:55
  and it takes time. Sometimes it takes 15 years to
• 28:58
  develop. That's why divorce rates are so high because the mainstream doesn't want this.
• 29:02
  So if you can be a fucking rebel in your relationship and
• 29:05
  show up for commitment and divine union, you're going
• 29:08
  to change this world and your life every day
• 29:12
  will get better and better. And your relationship within yourself and
• 29:16
  the relationship, your intimate relationships will get better and every other
• 29:19
  relationship around you will be so yummy and scrumptious.
• 29:23
  So that's my hope for you. Communication.
• 29:28
  All of the things. Enjoy it. And I can't wait
• 29:33
  to see how your relationship changes. So try this out.
• 29:36
  Let me know how it goes. Let me know how your love life, your sex life, your business life,
• 29:39
  your career, your leadership. Let me know in the comments how it goes.
• 29:43
  And yes, I cannot wait to host more retreats about this. I'll see you
• 29:46
  guys soon. I love you. Thank you for joining
• 29:50
  me on Soul Temple. If this episode spoke to your soul,
• 29:53
  I would love, love, love your support with a five-star review
• 29:57
  on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. And do not forget to subscribe
• 30:01
  on your favorite platform. But don't let your journey end here. Connect with me
• 30:04
  and my like-minded community of souls at Blythe Lankford
• 30:08
  on all social platforms. I look forward, I really look