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Chapter XXXVI · Pride and Prejudice | Audiobook

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Speaker 1: Chapter 36 Elizabeth, when Mr. Darcy gave her the letter,
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Speaker 1: did not expect it to contain a renewal of his offers.
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Speaker 1: She had formed no expectation at all of its contents,
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Speaker 1: but such as they were, it may be well supposed
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Speaker 1: how eagerly she went through them. And what a contrariety
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Speaker 1: of emotion they excited! Her feelings, as she read, were
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Speaker 1: scarcely to be defined. With amazement did she first understand
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Speaker 1: that he believed any apology to be in his power,
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Speaker 1: and steadfastly was she persuaded that he could have no
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Speaker 1: explanation to give, which a just sense of shame would
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Speaker 1: not conceal. With a strong prejudice against everything he might say,
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Speaker 1: she began his account of what had happened at Netherfield.
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Speaker 1: she read with an eagerness which hardly left her power
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Speaker 1: of comprehension, and from impatience of knowing what the next
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Speaker 1: sentence might bring, was incapable of attending to the sense
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Speaker 1: of the one before her eyes. His belief of her
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Speaker 1: sister's insensibility, she instantly resolved to be false, and his
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Speaker 1: account of the real, the worst objections to the match,
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Speaker 1: made her too angry to have any wish of doing
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Speaker 1: him justice. He expressed no regret for what he had
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Speaker 1: done which satisfied her. His style was not penitent, but haughty.
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Speaker 1: It was all pride and insolence. But when this subject
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Speaker 1: was succeeded by his account of Mr. Wickham, when she read,
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Speaker 1: with somewhat clearer attention, a relation of events which, if true...
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Speaker 1: must overthrow every cherished opinion of his worth, and which
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Speaker 1: bore so alarming an affinity to his own history of himself.
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Speaker 1: Her feelings were yet more acutely painful and more difficult
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Speaker 1: of definition. Astonishment, apprehension and even horror oppressed her. She
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Speaker 1: wished to discredit it entirely, repeatedly exclaiming, this must be false,
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Speaker 1: this cannot be. This must be the grossest falsehood. And
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Speaker 1: when she had gone through the whole letter, though scarcely
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Speaker 1: knowing anything of the last page or two, put it
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Speaker 1: hastily away, protesting that she would not regard it, that
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Speaker 1: she would never look in it again. In this perturbed
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Speaker 1: state of mind, with thoughts that could rest on nothing,
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Speaker 1: she walked on. But it would not do. In half
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Speaker 1: a minute, the letter was unfolded again, and collecting herself
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Speaker 1: as well as she could, she again began the mortifying
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Speaker 1: perusal of all that related to Wickham, and commanded herself
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Speaker 1: so far as to examine the meaning of every sentence.
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Speaker 1: The account of his connection with the Pemberley family was
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Speaker 1: exactly what he had related himself, and the kindness of
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Speaker 1: the late Mr Darcy though she had not before known
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Speaker 1: its extent, agreed equally well with his own words. So far,
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Speaker 1: each recital confirmed the other, but when she came to
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Speaker 1: the will, the difference was great. What Wickham had said
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Speaker 1: of the living was fresh in her memory, and as
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Speaker 1: she recalled his very words, it was impossible not to
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Speaker 1: feel that there was gross duplicity on one side or
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Speaker 1: the other, and, For a few moments, she flattered herself
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Speaker 1: that her wishes did not err. But when she read
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Speaker 1: and re-read, with the closest attention, the particulars immediately following
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Speaker 1: of Wickham's resigning all pretensions to the living, of his
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Speaker 1: receiving in lieu so considerable a sum as three thousand pounds,
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Speaker 1: again was she forced to hesitate. She put down the letter.
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Speaker 1: weighed every circumstance with what she meant to be impartiality,
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Speaker 1: deliberated on the probability of each statement, but with little success.
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Speaker 1: On both sides, it was only assertion. Again, she read on.
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Speaker 1: But every line proved more clearly that the affair, which
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Speaker 1: she had believed it impossible that any contrivance could so
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Speaker 1: represent as to render Mr. Darcy's conduct in it less
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Speaker 1: than infamous, was capable of a turn which must make
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Speaker 1: him entirely blameless throughout the whole. The extravagance and general
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Speaker 1: profligacy which he scrupled not to lay to Mr Wickham's
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Speaker 1: charge exceedingly shocked her, the more so as she could
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Speaker 1: bring no proof of its injustice. She had never heard
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Speaker 1: of him before his entrance into the Shire militia, in
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Speaker 1: which he had engaged at the persuasion of the young man, who,
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Speaker 1: on meeting him accidentally in town, had there renewed a
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Speaker 1: slight acquaintance. Of his former way of life, nothing had
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Speaker 1: been known in Hertfordshire but what he told himself. As
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Speaker 1: to his real character, had information been in her power,
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Speaker 1: she had never felt a wish of inquiring. His countenance,
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Speaker 1: voice and manner had established him at once in the
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Speaker 1: possession of every virtue. She tried to recollect some instance
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Speaker 1: of goodness, some distinguished trait of integrity or benevolence, that
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Speaker 1: might rescue him from the attacks of Mr. Darcy. Or
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Speaker 1: at least, by the predominance of virtue, atone for those
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Speaker 1: casual errors under which she would endeavour to class what Mr.
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Speaker 1: Darcy had described as as the idleness and vice of
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Speaker 1: many years' continuance, but no such recollection befriended her. She
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Speaker 1: could see him instantly before her, in every charm of
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Speaker 1: air and address, but she could remember no more substantial
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Speaker 1: good than the general approbation of the neighbourhood, and the
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Speaker 1: regard which his social powers had gained him in the mess.
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Speaker 1: After pausing on this point a considerable while, she once
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Speaker 1: more continued to read. But, alas, the story which followed,
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Speaker 1: of his designs on Miss Darcy, received some confirmation from
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Speaker 1: what had passed between Colonel Fitzwilliam and herself only the
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Speaker 1: morning before, and at last she was referred for the
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Speaker 1: truth of every particular to Colonel Fitzwilliam himself. from whom
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Speaker 1: she had previously received the information of his near concern
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Speaker 1: in all his cousin's affairs, and whose character she had
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Speaker 1: no reason to question. At one time, she had almost
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Speaker 1: resolved on applying to him, but the idea was checked
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Speaker 1: by the awkwardness of the application, and at length wholly
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Speaker 1: banished by the conviction that Mr. Darcy would never have
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Speaker 1: hazarded such a proposal. if he had not been well
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Speaker 1: assured of his cousin's corroboration. She perfectly remembered everything that
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Speaker 1: had passed in conversation between Wickham and herself in their
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Speaker 1: first evening at Mr Phillips'. Many of his expressions were
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Speaker 1: still fresh in her memory. She was now struck with
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Speaker 1: the impropriety of such communications to a stranger. and wondered
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Speaker 1: it had escaped her before. She saw the indelicacy of
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Speaker 1: putting himself forward as he had done, and the inconsistency
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Speaker 1: of his professions with his conduct. She remembered that he
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Speaker 1: had boasted of having no fear of seeing Mr. Darcy,
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Speaker 1: that Mr. Darcy might leave the country, but that he
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Speaker 1: should stand his ground. Yet he had avoided the Netherfield
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Speaker 1: Ball the very next week. She remembered also that till
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Speaker 1: the Netherfield family had quitted the country, he had told
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Speaker 1: his story to no one but herself. But that after
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Speaker 1: their removal, it had been everywhere discussed, that he had
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Speaker 1: then no reserves, no scruples in sinking Mr. Darcy's character,
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Speaker 1: though he had assured her that respect for the father
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Speaker 1: would always prevent his exposing the son. How differently did
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Speaker 1: everything now appear in which he was concerned. His attentions
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Speaker 1: to Miss King were now the consequence of views solely
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Speaker 1: and hatefully mercenary, and the mediocrity of her fortune proved
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Speaker 1: no longer the moderation of his wishes, but his eagerness
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Speaker 1: to grasp at anything. His behaviour to herself could now
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Speaker 1: have had no tolerable motive, He had either been deceived
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Speaker 1: with regard to her fortune, or had been gratifying his
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Speaker 1: vanity by encouraging the preference which she believed she had
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Speaker 1: most incautiously shown. Every lingering struggle in his favour grew
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Speaker 1: fainter and fainter, and in further justification of Mr. Darcy,
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Speaker 1: she could not but allow that Mr. Bingley, when questioned
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Speaker 1: by Jane, had long ago asserted his blamelessness in the affair. That,
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Speaker 1: proud and repulsive as were his manners, she had never,
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Speaker 1: in the whole course of their acquaintance, an acquaintance which
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Speaker 1: had latterly brought them much together, and given her a
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Speaker 1: sort of intimacy with his ways, seen anything that betrayed
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Speaker 1: him to be unprincipled or unjust, anything that spoke him
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Speaker 1: of irreligious or immoral habits, that among his own connections
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Speaker 1: he was esteemed and valued, that even Wickham had allowed
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Speaker 1: him merit as a brother, and that she had often
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Speaker 1: heard him speak so affectionately of his sister as to
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Speaker 1: prove him capable of some amiable feeling. That had his
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Speaker 1: actions been what Wickham represented them, so gross a violation
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Speaker 1: of everything right could hardly have been concealed from the world.
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Speaker 1: And that friendship, between a person capable of it and
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Speaker 1: such an amiable man as Mr Bingley, was incomprehensible. She
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Speaker 1: grew absolutely ashamed of herself. Of neither Darcy nor Wickham
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Speaker 1: could she think, without feeling that she had been blind, partial, prejudiced, absurd.
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Speaker 1: How despicably have I acted, she cried. I who have
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Speaker 1: prided myself on my discernment, I who have valued myself
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Speaker 1: on my abilities, who have often disdained the generous candour
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Speaker 1: of my sister, and gratified my vanity in useless or
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Speaker 1: blameless distrust. How humiliating is this discovery! Yet, how just
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Speaker 1: a humiliation! Had I been in love, I could not
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Speaker 1: have been more wretchedly blind. But vanity, not love, has
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Speaker 1: been my folly. Pleased with the preference of one, and
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Speaker 1: offended by the neglect of the other, on the very
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Speaker 1: beginning of our acquaintance. I have courted prepossession and ignorance,
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Speaker 1: and driven reason away where either were concerned. Till this moment,
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Speaker 1: I never knew myself. From herself to Jane, from Jane
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Speaker 1: to Bingley, her thoughts were in a line which soon
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Speaker 1: brought to her recollection that Mr. Darcy's explanation there had
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Speaker 1: appeared very insufficient, and she read it again. Widely different
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Speaker 1: was the effect of a second perusal. How could she
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Speaker 1: deny that credit, to his assertions, in one instance, which
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Speaker 1: she had been obliged to give in the other? He
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Speaker 1: declared himself to have been totally unsuspicious of her sister's attachment,
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Speaker 1: and she could not help remembering what Charlotte's opinion had
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Speaker 1: always been. Neither could she deny the justice of his description.
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Speaker 1: of Jane. She felt that Jane's feelings, though fervent, were
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Speaker 1: little displayed, and that there was a constant complacency in
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Speaker 1: her air and manner, not often united with great sensibility.
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Speaker 1: When she came to that part of the letter in
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Speaker 1: which her family were mentioned, in tones of such mortifying
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Speaker 1: yet merited reproach, her sense of shame was severe. the
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Speaker 1: justice of the charge struck her too forcibly for denial,
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Speaker 1: and the circumstances to which he particularly alluded, as having
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Speaker 1: passed at the Netherfield Ball, and as confirming all his
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Speaker 1: first disapprobation, could not have made a stronger impression on
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Speaker 1: his mind than on hers. The compliment to herself and
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Speaker 1: her sister was not unfelt. It soothed but it could
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Speaker 1: not console her for the contempt which had been thus
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Speaker 1: self-attracted by the rest of her family. And as she
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Speaker 1: considered that Jane's disappointment had, in fact, been the work
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Speaker 1: of her nearest relations, and reflected how materially the credit
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Speaker 1: of both must be hurt by such impropriety of conduct,
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Speaker 1: she felt depressed beyond anything she had ever known before.
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Speaker 1: after wandering along the lane for two hours, giving way
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Speaker 1: to every variety of thought, reconsidering events, determining probabilities, and
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Speaker 1: reconciling herself as well as she could to a change
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Speaker 1: so sudden and so important, fatigue and a recollection of
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Speaker 1: her long absence, made her at length return home, and
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Speaker 1: she entered the house with the wish of appearing cheerful
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Speaker 1: as usual. and the resolution of repressing such reflections as
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Speaker 1: must make her unfit for conversation. She was immediately told
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Speaker 1: that the two gentlemen from Rosings had each called during
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Speaker 1: her absence, Mr Darcy, only for a few minutes, to
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Speaker 1: take leave, but that Colonel Fitzwilliam had been sitting with
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Speaker 1: them at least an hour, hoping for her return, and
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Speaker 1: almost resolving to walk after her till she could be found.
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Speaker 1: Elizabeth could but just affect concern in missing him. She
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Speaker 1: really rejoiced at it. Colonel Fitzwilliam was no longer an object.
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Speaker 1: She could think only of her letter.