Latest / WTF! Women Talk Finance / EP 26: Why So Many Women Apologize for Buying Anything Nice

Transcript

EP 26: Why So Many Women Apologize for Buying Anything Nice · WTF! Women Talk Finance

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Jackie.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Kid.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_01: And this is WTF.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_03: Grab your coffee, wine, water bottle, emotional support snack.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_03: No judgment.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: And let's get into it.
• 0:12
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• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: Share.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_02: Share.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_02: Recruit.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe it can be a conversation piece for you and your friends.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, talk to your talk to your people about what we're talking about.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: Also, send us things that you want to talk about.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: Send us things.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: We like when you send us things you want to talk about.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: We got a couple last week.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_02: We got somebody reach Yeah, we got a couple people reaching out, which was really exciting.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_02: And so we'll do episodes based on what people want to talk about.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: I love it.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: If we don't get ideas from our audience and we're left to our own devices, then like what happened this morning, where my dad is like, I have a cousin, yeah, that knows Pandas.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, what?
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: That person will very likely end up being That's what happens.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_02: If you don't let us know ideas, don't let us be in charge.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_02: Please, don't let us be in charge.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_02: Now to the next episode, we're in charge of.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: I love this one.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: Why do I know?
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: I because okay, the title of this one is Financial Fairy Tales We Were Told as Girls.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: The money myths that shaped us and are still running the show.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know why I like this headline so much, but I do.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: I think I find psychology and like the wiring that we have so interesting.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_02: And I think there's so many things, not just being girls, but also just in general.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_02: I think there's many things that we have from like being 80s and 90s kids.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_02: We heard things from maybe our grandparents or parents, depending on what generation they grew up in.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_02: And how many of those things now run in our brains?
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_02: You know, how much how often do we catch ourselves talking ourselves in or out of something because of the programming that we had around money?
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_02: And at that point, is it your money if you're still letting your childhood program run the show?
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: Like, well, and also we've had conversations where I know, I know there's childhood programming at play.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like it'll be if we show up wearing something and it's like, oh, I love your, I love your totally sure.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: I love your scrub.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I paid seven dollars for this.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: I found it on thread up.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: But like there's this ingrained need to for me to let people know I'm a frivolous.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't spend crazy amounts of time.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_02: I I feel that way constantly.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_02: I need to make sure people know I got a deal.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: Or like almost apologizing.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: If I do buy something nice, yeah, almost then like I need to apologize for it.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: Or justify it.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like I worked really, really hard last year.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: I I can get this.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: Totally.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_02: Totally.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_02: I think that's like almost like I'm being audited all the time.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um and there's an inherent apology with the audit.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm curious if you do you think that's more common in women than men?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: I think so.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_02: I think so.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_02: I think women feel a need to explain our purchases more often than men.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: We've done episodes on that before about women feeling like when they talk about money, they're talking about how much money they saved.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_02: Like they needed permission to spend it, or they needed it to be such a deal that it they almost couldn't not spend it, right?
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then that somehow says something about you as a person.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: For sure.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: And like you're a bad person if you don't do that.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: That's the there there's some wiring in me on that regard.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_02: There's some serious wiring on that.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_02: I do.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_02: I I know I do it, and it's so annoying how I do it.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_02: And I catch it.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_02: And part of me sometimes I do it when I gift, which is so cringy.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_02: Say more.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_02: What do you mean?
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_02: So I got my dad a great gift.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_02: I can't say what it is because it's not time to gift it to him yet.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, it's coming up.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_02: It's coming.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, I know about the last one you got him, which was a good one.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I did get a great gift, yeah.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_02: I got him a great gift that he's wanted, and I found it.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_02: It was it happened to be on Amazon, which is so weird, for like a ridiculously stupid price.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_02: Stupid low.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_02: Stupid low.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_02: It's usually two to three hundred dollars, and I think I got it for 40 or 50.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm hoping it fulfills because, like it said, like I'm still waiting on shipment.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm like, was there a mistake?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, if this works out and this comes in, I cannot believe I scored this item for him for so cheap.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_02: And part of it is our Christmas exchange has a dollar limit on it.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_02: Uh so I was like, how cool that I can give this to my dad for our Christmas exchange if I get him.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_02: I might have to trade some people to get him.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_02: But how cool that I would be able to get this for him and have it still meet the dollar threshold.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_02: Because this is not a gift that meets the dollar threshold.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm dying to know what's a gift.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's a tumbling.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_02: I'm very specific to him.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like he'll be very excited about it.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I'm like, part of the gift though is like I'm excited to brag to the family at the holidays of like, I scored this for$300 off.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_02: Like, that's but we and we do that as a family.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_02: It's like totally our thing as a family to be like getting a cool gift for cheaper than we should have so that it meets the threshold.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_02: So how like how ingrained is that?
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and it's pretty generational if we're all doing it.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_02: Well, it's pretty family-wide.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_02: But um, but we're not all thrifty.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_02: Half of my family is thrifty, and half of my family is like loves quality and does not care about price.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: For those, do you feel that the w like that the two sides judge each other?
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_02: I know my dad.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_02: He would say it too.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_02: He judges me for being so thrifty, because I am the thrifty one.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so thrifty.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: What would he say to you?
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, he'll tell me all the time.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, you walk so tight you squeak.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: Something something awful.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's terrible.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_02: It's a terrible saying.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: But this this is the same man who raised me to think about how much money I was spending on a pair of jeans.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_02: You know, gotta have you had to have those Abercrombie unreasonably low ride, never fit so good.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_02: Terrible.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_02: You had to have them.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_02: And they were a fortune Abercrombie jeans that we all had, or didn't, or all wanted at least.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and he was like, How many hours of your work did does this take to earn?
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: So your dad gave you both messaging.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: As a child, maybe he was trying to teach you money, but then as an adult, he's like, Maybe I taught too tight, or maybe I taught too much.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: I sometimes point back to him.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, do you think maybe you taught me this?
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: You told me to be thoughtful with my money.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and I think sometimes it can come from our parents.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_02: Totally.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: But there are other societal sources of messaging that I think hit both young men and women, both girls and boys.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: Totally.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: There's societal messaging out there.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: And it's also very cultural.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um I've got friends, I would say it is more, it's it's heavy in different cultures where for a female, you have a limited amount of time, you've got to marry well, your looks will fade.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: There's certain attributes that lock him in now.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, lock him.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: Trap him.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: And because the the man's your financial plan.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: That was not how I was raised, but I know plenty of people where that was the framework.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: Because your life, you get married, you have kids, you get a dog, you get a house in the car, and a white pick of fence, or whatever, whatever the templated version is, and it looks a certain way.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_02: I was definitely not raised the man is a plan.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I wasn't.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_02: That was not how I was raised.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_02: But I do think that that messaging slowed for us as far as like man is a plan.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_02: I uh uh of our generation, yeah, I do think that that messaging, it didn't stop, but it slowed down.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like there's not as it's not as prevalent.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_02: However, I don't know that the messaging for men being providers slowed down.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_02: Agreed.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: Not at the same rate.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think it slowed down at the same rate.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_02: I think that I think that there are a lot of men that still are being raised with this idea that they need to be the provider, that they that they need to earn more than their spouse to be a like real man, which in what way does that then impact women?
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so I do think there's like a lot of uh conflicting messaging that we are getting between men and women.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_02: Um I think marry well is one of those things that's kind of always been said, but I don't know what that means to everybody.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: I suppose it depends on your own value system.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: What do you value?
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: Because then that would, you know what I mean?
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: Marrying well is that person aligning with your value system?
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_02: Um I think we all got the money doesn't grow on trees, right?
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_02: Universally, did we all receive that one?
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: Definitely didn't.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: We got that one.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: If the air conditioning was on and we left a door open, we were asked if we were born in a barn.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: Born in a barn.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: Were you born in a barn?
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: I was not.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_02: I was not born in a barn.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think I was.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_02: I think it was a hospital.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'm yeah, I'm pretty certain.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_02: My kids cannot say the same.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: I love a barn.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_02: Love a barn.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_02: Love a barn.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: There is just something with kids where like, and some adults too, but the counteraction.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like you open a door, it doesn't occur to close.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: This version of me, the adult with all the OCD, I will close every door.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_01: I will shut every lid.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: I will, I will everything goes back.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_02: I will say, I I see those things sneaking out though.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_02: I say those things to my kids.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_02: What do you say?
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_02: I say, I have said to them money to say the worst version.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I pulled out a real pop-up when my kids were being really terrible about um this the screens.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_02: We were, they get screens when we do road trips and airplane trips, right?
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_02: And they called it their iPad.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_02: Like one of them was like, that's my iPad.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, that's my iPad.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, oh God, I'm trying to get into my father.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: But I think you balance it very well.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: Because your job as a parent is to teach them the value of things.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: And if they you're doing them a disservice if they head out into the world just with hands out, expecting like mine, mine, mine, it's mine, it's mine, it's mine.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I think that's not okay.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's not the direction we want to go either.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: But there's power in just recognizing what stories are from your childhood.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: Totally.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_01: For better or worse, your parents were trying to teach you lessons and set you up for success.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: How did some of those stories carry into your adult life in a way where they're still controlling you?
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe there's room to examine them and be like, is that true?
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think there's a lot of space where I can reevaluate.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and I think a lot of us can.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_02: Um I think I so my parents were split.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_02: So I had a household where we talked a lot about money, and we had a household where we didn't talk as much about money.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_02: Um and so I never got the messaging that talking about money was rude.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_02: Interesting.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_02: But I did have this idea of like money was situational.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_02: Like you talk about it in a certain within your unit group.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and not to say that it wasn't a topic that I couldn't talk about.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_02: It just wasn't a topic that was brought up a lot.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_02: In in one household versus the other one.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_02: It was like seemingly a very like uh common conversation.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_02: So um and then like I said, I have family too that we're really close with that the main the primary conversation is about the money savings.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_02: So money is still a topic, but it's all about how thrifty were you?
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_02: So kind of this like spiraling of different conversations or non-conversations.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_02: So I have a really interesting dynamic with m talking about money.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_01: Did you ever get the sense that taking that conversation outside of the family would be rude?
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's fine to talk about it within the family, but you shouldn't go to school and ask your friend like any questions about money.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_02: I think I still have that, to be honest.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, me too.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_02: I still do.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_02: Um yeah, I and I I did it the other day and I was like, God, that probably was actually really intrusive.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_02: But a a parent friend of ours, like our kids are friends, we're talking about their new, uh, they got they just got a new job at like a startup-ish.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_02: And um I was asking, I'm like, oh my god, that's great.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like, did you get, you know, what kind of equity did you get?
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm yeah, what's I was super.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_02: I want to know what's the marketing.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what like brought you to and then I left and I was like, I don't know them all that well.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_02: That was kind of forward of me to be so in the weeds on their um new job and how they're getting paid.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what a what but the person, the person in finance, yeah, just like just came right out.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, oh my god, what it what did you get?
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm so excited for you.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_02: This is so cool.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: We know a lot of startups, we know a lot of founders, they're building their teams.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we're very curious.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: What are you gonna give your executives for their compensation?
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm just curious, what's the market deal?
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what are startups paying to build their teams?
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_02: So I thought that was really, but you know, it just I was still kind of seeped in a little bit, like, huh.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know that that was very appropriate.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know that I should have gone that route with him.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: I don't like shoulds.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'm glad you did.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_01: Don't should on myself.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: Don't should on yourself.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I think as adults, um, I'm getting better personally.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: If someone asks me something I don't want to talk about, which would be very, very rare.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um, if it honestly made me really uncomfortable, I think I would say, you know, just lightly, like, not sure I'm comfortable talking about that.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_01: Move on.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: True.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: Move on.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_01: Do I have an interview stone?
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like, next question.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: Next question.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I that's a I mean, that is a good point.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_02: Like, we carried on the conversation, yeah, but still I did leave going like you were hardest on yourself.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_02: Totally.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_02: So um, I mean, I wonder how many of our listeners do this kind of like uh self-reflection after a conversation where they did talk about money and kind of picking yourself apart.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_02: I do after doing the you and I both did it this morning.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, this is actually a kid's sweater.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_02: I got it HM on clearance.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, me too.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_01: This is like kids overcrummy or something from the 1990s.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: We were so excited to share our discount sweaters and also that we matched.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_01: And that we matched, yeah.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: Just because the knowing was in the air.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you are probably one of the people, like, if I score a vintage item for a good price, I do tell you as soon as I am.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_02: So we both love a thread up.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_02: We both love the real reel.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_02: If we get a good item, we are immediately telling each other about what we score.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: Also, part of it, um, part of it is a sharing where I'm like, P.S.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: look what I got.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you might want to hop on and see if you're a size too.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I think we're both intentional about that.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like sharing our wins.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: Totally.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, knowing because it's a safe spot.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I don't know if there's anyone else where I would be like, look what I got.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: Look what I got on product.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: There isn't.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: Not that I can think of.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_02: I I mean, I want to share with my uh spouse, but he doesn't care as much.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_02: He does.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_02: He's always excited for me, but it's like his uh sports cards.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, okay, I get this, I give him what he gives me.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, that's nice.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_04: I'd be like, okay.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_04: Wow.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_02: No way, a rookie, no way.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so let's go through some of these and see how many we have, but I'm curious how many of our listeners have had these two.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, we already talked about a man as a financial plan.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and money doesn't grow on trees.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, money doesn't grow on trees.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_02: I I don't think, I mean, uh, obviously we both heard that one.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: What's interesting is I did hear that, but I didn't have a forum where it was extrapolated beyond that.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: If it doesn't grow on trees, where does it grow?
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_02: Where does it grow?
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: How do I grow this?
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_02: And my sassy kid responded with, yes, it does, Mom, it's paper.
• 18:55
  unknown: Oh shoot.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: You can have a board, investors, advisors, and still have nobody you can actually talk to about what is really going on.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: That is not unusual.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: That is the founder reality.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: And we step in right there.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Tom Powell.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_00: And at the founder's office, we're proud to sponsor Women Talk Finance.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, we didn't have, you know, like in high school, in college, I didn't, I didn't take investment classes, didn't have those conversations in my family.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: Um, maybe at this point in my life, I could have those conversations about investing with my, you know, with my family and those closest to me, but there wasn't a where does it grow?
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_01: How does it build?
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we learned how to square dance in fourth grade.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: We didn't learn how to balance a checkbook.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_02: No, no.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, we definitely did not learn.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_02: We had like programs that came in.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and my dad actually did teach one of them at one point.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_02: I think it was in high school?
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_02: No, in like elementary school.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_02: They don't they mail it in on high school when I really probably needed it.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but and I I was lucky, like I did have a lot of guidance along the way.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: But um your your education coming up, your youth, your investment exposure was probably very, very atypical.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_02: Very atypical.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_02: I'm trying to think about how I duplicate it for my kids, and it's it's difficult, actually.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_02: I actually met your daughter, who's an entrepreneur.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_02: I know.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_02: She's very excited.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_02: The funny thing is, is she really doesn't she doesn't understand the difference.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_02: This weekend, for instance, she was giving a lot of bracelets away because we were at an event that is a non-currency driven event.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_02: It's about gifting.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_02: It's about gifting.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_02: And she kept saying, so we she gave away bracelets, she gave away liquor, she gave away taffy.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_02: She kept going, I sold out.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, You didn't.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I'm thrilled.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_02: I'm thrilled that you got that same high.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm I'm so happy about that.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_02: It was just really funny the way she was like, I sold out.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_02: Great.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_02: Um okay.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_02: Don't talk about money.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_02: It's rude.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_02: So like this is a big one.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_02: Did you get this one?
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_02: Biggest one.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_02: Really?
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_02: Biggest one.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_02: Really?
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_02: Now, is that a Midwestern thing, do you think?
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: Likely.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_01: Or definitely it's a component of it.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: It feels Midwestern.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: It feels very Minnesota to not don't talk about money.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: Minnesota, South Dakota, Iowa.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: The Dakota.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_02: Oh no.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_01: Am I doing it right?
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: Let me hear it again.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_02: Oh no.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_01: Say boat.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_02: Boat.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I know you're doing it right.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_02: You can come back.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_02: One of the only accents I can do, and I accidentally mimic it when we are in the Midwest, or whenever you do it, I start to do it on accident.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: I try really hard not to.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_02: It's I'm cute when you do.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_02: I love it when you do.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, we had a neighbor.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: I have a neighbor growing up.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's just thick.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: And no names, but she was talking to my mom out in the driveway.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_01: This is a couple years ago.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Ago, I was home and I my little ears were like because she kept saying, That's just it.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_01: That is just it.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: That's just it.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: And everything my mom would say, then they would go, that's just it.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: That's just it.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: And that will forever live inside me.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_02: And I love it.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so this whole segment, you have to talk about not talking about money.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's rude in your Minnesota accent.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_02: Rude.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_02: It's rude.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's rude.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's rude.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_02: No, we don't talk about that.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_01: We don't talk about that.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_02: We don't talk about that.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_02: So let's dive deeper into that though.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_02: When, first of all, are men told not to talk about money?
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_02: It's rude, or is it more aimed towards women not to talk about money?
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm trying to think about really specific situations screwing up, like around the dinner table, or when money may have come up and kind of how it was dealt with.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um it was, I'm gonna say it's was more for the whole family.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um if I asked how much, oh, I have a very specific story.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_01: Ooh, yay.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_01: Fourth grade.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um I I don't know what prompted it, but I my mom was getting ready for work.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: She was like curling her hair, listening to some Bruce Springsteen, the boss.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_01: This was probably like 1994.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: So good.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I came downstairs while she was getting ready and I said, Mom, are we rich?
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_01: Don't know why I was asking.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure something at school or something you know, something in my little and my little world, my little universe, had wanted, needed to know that.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_01: And she said, Do you have everything you need?
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Yep.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: And she goes, Then that's not an okay question.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_04: Oh.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe like not an okay question, but then you don't then that's not a question we ask.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_01: Do you have everything you need?
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: Then you're rich.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it kind of like then it's then it's solved, was kind of the takeaway.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: That's what she asked me back.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_01: Do you have everything you need?
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_01: Then then we're done here.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um it it wasn't uh it wasn't a meanness.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: It was more just like trying to correct your child on, yeah, that this this rude.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like that's not not something you need to ask.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_01: Not not appropriate.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, not appropriate.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_02: I my kids have asked me that, and I will say as a parent, that's a tricky one to answer.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_01: How'd you answer?
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_01: Do you remember?
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I think I said, what does rich mean to you?
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_01: Ah, okay.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what do you think rich is?
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_02: And they said, We have a lot of money.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_02: And I think I kind of just needed to pause for a minute.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, I do this a lot with my kids.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_02: I tell them I need to get back to them.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_02: You do a lot of because I sometimes need like a minute to digest.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to just gut answer them things.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_02: So we talked about like rich means a lot of different things.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_02: We are rich in family, we're rich in health, yeah.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um, we're rich in experiences.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like I tried to explain rich is this vast idea.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: Abundance.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, abundance.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_02: I was really honest with them.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_02: I said there are some years daddy and I do really, if you're talking about money, there's years where Daddy and I do really well, and there's years where one of us does well and one of us, you know, is is starting something new or in a transition year, and there are years where, you know, we we're we're digging into what we've put away.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we're counting on you to sell more bracelets.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_02: And like, this is what it's like having entrepreneurial parents is there's just there's some, there's just different years.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think there's a reality for all parents, even if you're not a totally because sometimes you can have two income earners in a household, one person loses a job, one person has a health issue.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, money can change over the years.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I think you handled that very well.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_01: Cool that answer.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_02: I I mean, it's I don't know how well it went because there were times then where she did tell people we were rich, and she goes, Because we were really healthy and we've got a big family.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, nailed it.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_02: She definitely spread the word.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, great, okay.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_02: So she definitely um we are in an environment where seemingly status is important.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_02: The school environment they're in.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_02: It is public school, but it is like a very interesting school that they go to where there is this like emphasis on what you have.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_02: What you have.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_02: So uh one of my oldest came home the other day, and she's got these cute little sandals.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_02: They're adorable.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_02: They've got flowers on them, they're so cute.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_02: They're from Target.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_02: And this boy in class was like, ew, those aren't even real Birkinstocks.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_01: Look at me immediately judging the child.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I wouldn't put my face to do that.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_02: So automatically she came home and she was like, Mom, are these real Birkinstocks?
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, No, they're real shoes.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_02: What does it matter?
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_02: Like, why does it matter?
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_02: Real cute sandals, they're really cute.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_02: She does have Birkinstocks.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_02: I don't care whether she has real Birkinstocks or not.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_02: There, I was like, are they cute shoes?
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_02: Do they fit your feet?
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_02: Do you love them?
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_02: Do they go with a lot of the things that you enjoy wearing?
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_02: Then why does it matter if they're real Birkenstocks or not?
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's so interesting because a lot of these, we're talking about like wiring that happens in your childhood, and a lot of it does happen in a school environment with your peers.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_01: Totally.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_01: How do you even begin?
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like when the kid comes home and says yes, how do you begin to I'm sitting here thinking, is this something she's going to be thinking about when she's 20, 30 years old?
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_02: Going, these aren't even real Birkenstocks, you know?
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_01: And also, how do you coach kids?
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_01: Not coach, how do you prepare them for questions like that, such that their wiring is in their best, you know, for their highest good and the highest good of all, right?
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like in a way that helps her and her future self, helps her be her future self.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_02: And I didn't know what to do, but you're right, right.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_02: Like some of this wiring is not anything I'm doing, it's it's the environment.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_02: I did ask her, I said, what what do you think real Birkenstocks mean?
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_02: Like, why do you think it matters?
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_02: You know, so we did have a long conversation about it.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um, do you know the poem De Siderata?
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_01: No, I actually go to De Siderata so much more often than I would ever expect to, but it is one of the best poems I've ever read.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_01: One of my top, top three.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_01: And it kind of talks about how to handle all of these things.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: And basically the the takeaway is always in life there will be someone greater than you and someone less than you.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_01: There'll be someone taller, shorter.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like the poem doesn't say that, but that's the theme.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_01: There's always gonna be someone richer, poorer, taller, shorter, smarter, dumb.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: All of the adjectives we use to judge people and ourselves, and like how we are constantly balancing those scales.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_01: The the poem basically says there's always gonna be someone over here and always someone over here.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_01: So why are we comparing so hard?
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I look at some people at the farthest end of the scale, I guess both ends of the scale, they don't seem particularly happy, like they don't seem happier than I am.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_01: When I think about some of the places I've traveled, like third world countries, yes, where money or riches are very, very low, but they are truly so much so happy, happy, happy and living rich lives.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes, right?
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_02: Like probably eating decent, like there's places where people are eating well healthy food.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_02: They're family, they've got family, they're spiritual.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_02: Well, maybe they're living in a very small, tight place, but they end it with a lot of people, but they're a lot of experiences with the people that they love.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_02: And then there might be somebody on the opposite end who is living in a gorgeous, massive downtown penthouse, but nobody or dread.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um so it's really like uh rich in life is more important to me.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_02: I am sounding old now though, because I feel like that's so something I would have heard as a kid.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_02: You know?
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_02: But I think it's also kind of the beautiful thing about getting older.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_01: I do love that.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_01: Like embracing and having a different understanding.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_01: What would we tell our kids then?
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_01: So that we're not so old, so we don't sound so old.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_02: Let's be young, cool, and relevant.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_02: So cool, so hip, so with it.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_02: So with it.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_02: Saying so with it is crumbs.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_02: Hundo P.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know what the kids say now.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know the last thing.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_02: Hundo P, Hundo P, 100%.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_02: I think it means like I'm Hundo P hundred percent, like I'm in.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like so with zero P like I'm out.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_02: Didn't that used to be bet?
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_02: So bets no.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_02: Bet might be a thing too.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not there yet.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_02: My kids don't say those things.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_02: I found this.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_02: We just started bro.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_02: Bro, bro.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_01: This college professor, I I would put him, I'd place him maybe between his 60s and 70s, started an Excel spreadsheet.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_01: And he was putting all of the words that the kids were saying that and then he had a column for the definitions.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_01: What it means.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_01: I hope this is up to date.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_01: I hope I can find it online.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_01: I think we should link it to the show notes.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_01: If we do, then we should create seven and hundred p.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_01: Is six still being said?
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_02: Little kids got a hold of it.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_02: My my five-year-old says it, so it's not cool anymore.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_02: When a when my dad does it to the kid, like it's not cool.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's not cool.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_02: When the grandpas and the five grandpa's and the five-year-olds are doing it, stop.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_02: It's done, it's out.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_02: They still do the the the dab thing.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_02: Your dad?
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_02: No, God knows the kids.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_02: Kids.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_02: I was sitting at my kids' school doing a performance, and a bunch of the boys started doing, okay, we're gonna have your dad as a guest on our show.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like, secret drop right now.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_01: We should definitely see a pill dab.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like tomorrow, let's teach.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think my dad knows what dad is.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I was saying.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_02: Let's teach.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_02: We'll try to teach him.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_01: He might know.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_01: My brother worked at this job with a boss that was um not as cool as his brain told him he was.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_01: And he was constantly saying the things that he thought was I think that's all dabs.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_01: Not cool.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_02: Not cool.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_01: Not cool.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_01: So cringe.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_01: And so the boys, well called, I think they were in college at the time.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_01: The boys taught their boss how to say cuckoo ka-choo to everything.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_01: And they didn't laugh.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_01: They were just like, cuckoo ca-choo.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_01: I think because now so the boss started walking around saying cuckoo ka-choo to everything.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_02: That's really cute.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_02: I think have you seen the videos of like people now are making the marketing team, the Gen Z marketing team is having the older people like the boss do these videos where they're like walking around and they're like, our blah blah blah is cap, you know, and like they're saying, and it's so funny.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_02: I like it.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_02: Um so how do we how do we do that for financial things so the kids listen?
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_02: We meet we use we use the urban dictionary to make them new money codes to carry with them.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_01: How about the solution is teaching a little bit of balance?
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_01: Meaning, um, like this, so like you need to all you need to save for a rainy day.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, great lesson, great wiring.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_01: And let's also talk about investing.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, let's also talk about spending.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_01: Hoarding, yeah, because that's like financial hoarding.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_01: If we're gonna talk about saving for a rainy day, let's also talk about spending on a sunny one.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_01: Like, let's do both.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_01: Let's have conversations about both and normalize it and start there.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_02: And like I agree.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I mean, the saving for a rainy day sounds good.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_02: It sounds like solid financial advice.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_02: And you're exactly right.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_02: It also can lead to financial hoarding, which we we see a lot of.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_02: Fear around.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_02: Fear.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_02: Um, are you even exploring financial products?
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_02: There are more liquid investment products that you could be investing in that at least are earning more interest for you than maybe some other products.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, and the phrase liquid investing products, I probably didn't hear that phrase until I was in my 30s.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_01: Probably my late 30s.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, yeah, so is it in a standard savings account or did you get a high yield savings account?
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_02: You know, are you at least earning three and a half percent on this versus nothing?
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe getting your your little trickle of pennies.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_02: Trickle of pennies.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um, do you need that much?
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_02: I think a lot of times, sometimes people save too much.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_02: And then they, it's like, well, you should be investing that.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_02: Some of that money could be earning a lot more for you.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um so not only with your children, but with yourself, with your friends, with your peers.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_01: Talk about both sides of the coins.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_02: Rainy day is something different for a lot of people.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_02: Is it um my rule of thumb has been three months of expenses?
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_02: That has been my rule.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_02: It's that's that's for a lot of us, our expenses are running pretty high.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_02: That's a good chunk of change.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_02: So am I earning enough money on that?
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um, do I even really need that much?
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_02: Do I need to think through?
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_02: And then if I am earning interest on that, what am I doing at the end of the year when my account now has more in it?
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_02: Am I moving some of that into an investment account?
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_02: Um As always, it starts with the conversations and it starts with just asking the questions.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_02: So, and and three months is like kind of given as the standard rule, but people need to think through.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_02: Is that I've heard three to six months.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_01: I think well, a whole different episode, like times when you're in a recession versus not.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_02: Like kind of what kind of rainy day are we planning on?
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_02: Monsoon.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_01: Tsunami.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_01: So for our audience, takeaway, not homework.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_01: If you want homework, I guess I guess we are dishing out.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_02: Do this homework.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_01: Do Friday.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_01: Write down the top three money messages you received growing up.
• 36:33
  SPEAKER_01: Circle the one that still influences you the most.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_01: Then ask yourself: is this story helping me or holding me back?
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_01: Where is there room to like maybe question a couple things or readjust this story a little bit?
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_02: I agree.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_02: That's a good one.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and is it still running your financial decisions?
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_02: Do you feel like you can go buy those Abercrombie jeans without calculating your rate?
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna go find the lowest low-rise below my hairphone.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_02: Do it that whale tail.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_02: If you know you know, if you know you know if you know you know.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_01: Oh not enough whale tail.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_01: We did it, so the younger generations don't have to.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_01: They would say it's absolutely cringe, abominable.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_01: They wouldn't use the word pull up the spreadsheet.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, good.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and this too, if you were taught that talking about money is rude, think about maybe some places where that's not necessarily true.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_01: Who can you, we don't show that on people, but who might you, who could you be talking to about any of these topics?
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_01: About money.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_01: Who could you who could be your sounding board?
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_02: Create your own little there's so many more groups of women I'm seeing now coming together and creating investment groups or really working together and talking about money.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_02: Reach out to us.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_04: Totally reach out to us.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_04: I'm on the show.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, for sure.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_01: We'll have the conversation.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_01: We'll have a combo.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_01: You can tell, we'll be relatively safe.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_01: We might say ridiculous things, but we probably will, and we'll probably get off topic.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_01: Not likely.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_02: No, we're so good.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_02: Download the show, please.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_02: Like, subscribe.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_02: We're thirsty, as the kids say.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for listening.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_01: Bye.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, that was today's episode of WTF.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_03: If you laughed, learned something, or felt a little left alone, make sure you hit follow.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_01: And send this episode to a friend who might need it.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_01: Women don't gatekeep, especially not the good stuff.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_03: We'll be back next week with more real talk, more stories, and probably more over sharing.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_01: See you next time on WTF.