Latest / Financial Survival Network / Change Your Beliefs, Change Your Reality - Shelly Lefkoe #5853

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Change Your Beliefs, Change Your Reality - Shelly Lefkoe #5853 · Financial Survival Network

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It's where we feel limited and stuck in life. So whether it's about money,
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whether it's about ourself, no matter what it is, our beliefs get
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in the way. You're listening to Carrie Letts's Financial Survival Network where you get
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valuable information you just can't find anywhere else to thrive in today's trying times.
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You need the Financial Survival Network now more than ever. Go to Financial Survival
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Network dot com and get your free newsletter and gift. Financial Survival Network now
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more than ever, And welcome. You are listening to the Financial Survival Network.
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I'm your host, Carrie lets Well, got a special guest for you.
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But I'm going to start this this session out with a quote from Mark
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Twain aka Samuel Clemens and what he said, and it rings true to this
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day as it ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's
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what you know for sure that just ain't so. And by the time we're
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done with this, with this interview, you are going to understand that on
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a whole different level. I've got Shelley left Goo with us the Left Coo
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Institute, and we find Shelley at Eliminate Beliefs Dot com Shelley, I've been
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looking forward to this interview. I've seen you recently. You've been hitting.
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I mean, i'd pop up YouTube there's five new interviews with you every time.
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So I really appreciate you coming on our show. You know it's about
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money, but it's about beliefs, right, It's what you think. You
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know, so many of you out there, myself included, and then you
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find out that belief isn't true. And then what so, Shelley, you
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deal in a rare commodity. You deal in beliefs. You're kind of up
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there with the priests and rabbi. But beliefs, they're pedaled, they're propagated,
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they're promoted, and so many of them are false. And they're not
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not just by the powers that be, but by your parents, your family,
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your teachers, in school, all these people pedaled beliefs. And once
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you have a belief, it's hard to get rid of it, even if
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it just ain't So your whole life's been to get dedicated to getting people to
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get rid of false beliefs. So a false belief, what is a false
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belief? I mean, I know, on one level, it's a belief
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that's not true. But it's more than that, isn't it. Well.
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A belief, Carrie, and thanks for having me. A belief is a
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statement about reality that you hold as the truth. And people talk about limiting
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beliefs. A belief is limiting because if something is the truth, then something
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else is not. So by the very nature of the definition of belief is
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limiting. So when you think something is the truth, there's no possibility.
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It's tunnel vision. And most of our beliefs are unconscious. So we have
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beliefs that may or may not be true, but they serve us, you
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know. So if you believe money comes to me, it just does.
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I don't know if that's true or not true. But if if the belief
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serves you and money just comes to you, then you don't get rid of
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it. It's fine. It's where we feel limited and stuck in life.
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So whether it's about money, whether it's about ourself, no matter what it
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is, our beliefs get in the way. And here's the thing. We
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come into this world and we don't know anything about money. We don't know
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anything about ourselves. We don't know if we're good enough we're not good enough.
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We don't know if life is hard or easy. And we come into
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this world in this little family, and whatever your family looks like, it
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could be mom and dad, mom and mom, dad and dat. Whatever
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it is you have parents, you could be in a single parent home,
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and children ask the question why, And I'm going to tell you why.
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People think it's so hard to get rid of beliefs, and it's not.
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And no amount of evidence will get you to believe that what you believe is
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not true. I've worked with five Harvard PhDs who had the belief I'm stupid.
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They knew they weren't stupid, but they still believed it. So we
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come into this world. We look at our family, and if mom and
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dad are struggling and they can't pay the bills, and you know you live
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in a poor area, all of a sudden you go, why is it
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like this? Oh? I see life is hard. Money is a struggle.
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If you see your parents fighting and screaming and hitting and the you might
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conclude relationships don't work. If you have a dad who's not present in your
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life, you may conclude men can't be trusted. So if you get criticized
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all the time by your parents, you're going to say, kids say,
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why am I being criticized. Well, I guess I'm not good enough.
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So beliefs get formed early on in life. Now here's the thing. We
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think. We see our beliefs. So I have clients in every country around
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the world, really every Saudi Arabia. I have a client now that I'm
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working with in Saudi Arabia. And when I say, doesn't it seem like
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you saw money is scarce and hard to get where you saw life is hard,
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they say, yes, I did see it. Now here's the thing,
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everybody, listen, it is impossible. Here's a quote for you carry
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It's impossible to not believe something that you think you saw. I'm gonna say
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that again. It is impossible to not believe something that you think you saw.
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I saw there was a Santa Claus. He've got a red suit and
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a white bear. Don't tell me there's no Santa Claus. And one day
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you look and you go, wait a minute, that's my father in that
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Santa Claus suite, or there's a million of them that Macy's Wait a minute,
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I never saw Santa Claus. I made that up, the belief and
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it never comes back. So that's why people think beliefs are hard to get
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rid of. A they're mostly unconscious. You don't even know you have them.
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When I make people say beliefs, because they'll tell me they're problem.
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I procrastinate, or I have a fear of public speaking, or I can't
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make money, or I have a ceiling. People tell me all the time,
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I have a ceiling on money, I can only make a certain amount.
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And then we look for beliefs. When I help them illuminate the beliefs,
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they have no clue, but ones they people say, oh, now
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I have an awareness. Awareness will not get you any place exciting. So
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awareness, you know, they say, aa these programs that awareness is the
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first step, awareness that you have a problem. And then it's like,
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but nothing happens, nothing changes, And so awareness in itself does you know
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good whatsoever other than to know why you're miserable. That's exactly right. That's
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exactly right, all right. So before we get into what you can do
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about it, you focus in on limiting false beliefs. Some beliefs are good,
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though, some true beliefs, like you believe you can't fly, so
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that kind of stops you from jumping off the top floor of the empire,
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state building. So those limiting beliefs can keep you safe. But it's the
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ones that are false that I guess a lot of times they are created to
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keep you safe. Right. These beliefs emerge for a lot of different reasons.
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First, why do they emerge? And number two is give us some
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give us your top three limiting beliefs that you address in your day to day
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activities, helping people become them. So they emerge because who are trying to
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make sense of the world. Right I would also contend that anytime you say
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you can't do something, just say right now, because that just opens up
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upon I don't know if if I would be able to fly, they may
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invent a pill where I can then fly, you know, or some device
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that I could put on my arms that I can fly. I can't fly
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right now, it's not safe to try. Those are useful. So there's
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a difference between a useful distinction and a belief I can't is limiting. I
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can't right now, I don't know how to given the body I have in
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the place that I live, I can't right So beliefs emerge because we're trying
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to figure things out. And again, instead of saying this is the way
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it is right now, which is an opening for possibility. We just say
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this is the way it is, and then we end up like this.
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That's why our political system looks like it does. No, this is right,
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this is wrong. I tell people, I tell parents, get rid
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of full words in your life, good, bad, right, wrong,
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their judgments, their assessments, they're not useful. So beliefs emerge because we're
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trying to make sense of the world. And then what was the second point
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of that, the leading limiting false beliefs that you deal with that we'll get
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rid of, Like like Letterman has a top ten list, Shelley's got it
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right, thank you, the top three, So I'll give you the top
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five. So the top five most common beliefs that limit people. I'm not
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good enough, I'm not important. Mistakes and failures are bad, And Carrie
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and everyone listening, you might have read every business book about why mistakes and
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failures are valuable. You may know every quote. I could probably beat you
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on quotes about why mistakes and failures are not bad. And yet until I
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eliminated that belief, it still ran my life. Even though I read all
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the quotes, didn't matter, So mistakes and failures are bad. If I
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make a mistake or fail, I'll be rejected. And what makes man,
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I'm gonna give you one more, What makes me good enough is having other
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people think well of me. You will throw your child under the bus to
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have strangers that you'll never see again in a restaurant think well of you.
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And the sixth one is what makes me good enough or my achievements. That
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is what Workaholism is what makes me good enough of my achievements. So I'm
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not good enough is like a beach ball. It's a belief. Now we
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have what we call a survival strategic belief. What makes me good enough is
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achieving things right, being successful monetarily. So now every time I'm successful,
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this beach ball called I'm not good enough or I'm not important stays under water
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and it's exhausted. And I've had people call and say I'm on the cover
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of business publications, I'm worth ten million dollars and I don't know my kids.
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I keep promising I'm going to go to their games, I'm gonna show
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up, I'm gonna take my wife out, and I keep not doing it.
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He was on his second marriage and she was ready to leave him.
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He didn't know his kids, They don't know who he is. But he's
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very, very, very successful. He said to me, Shelley, when
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is it going to be enough? I said never, because until you get
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rid of I'm not important. What makes me important is achieving things. And
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you get rid of those two believes, now you can have a game.
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The game is called make a lot of money. The game is called being
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successful or helping people or whatever your game is. But it's not driven.
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It's a choice, right, all right, So personalizing this, like myself,
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I had the most horrible third grade teacher, Like I was a lefty
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and I wanted to read from right to left and if I was in his
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it would have worked out great, but less so good. My mother hated
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this teacher too, and to this day I don't like her. I think
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about her and my friend bumped into her someplace. You know. She just
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made me feel inferior. I couldn't finish this dumb work fast enough for her,
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Like I could never do anything right and in school, like till I
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got to college, and I don't know worked some things out. I just
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could never focus. I could never get my homework done. I had a
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block against it all, and I don't know, somehow, some way,
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I guess I just overcame it. And my second half of college went out
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to law school. You know, got great grades, but you know,
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I guess there's still a part of me that's that third grader who just thinks
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can't get anything done and I'm useless. So so I feel like maturity got
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me past it mostly, but it's still lingering, I guess in the unconscious
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and unintended ways. Yeah, so I want to clean up something you said,
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because this is brilliant. This is really a perfect, perfect example.
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Maturity didn't get you through. What got you through was some of us are
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very lucky, and you're smore and you're capable and things come easily to you.
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So I was one of those people. So I had a dad who
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used to say, ah, you know, my dad loved me. He
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was the most. It was a wonderful dad. And he used to say,
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ah, you don't use your head. You just don't think when I
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would do something that he didn't want me to do, or I didn't hang
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out jack. So I did a lot of things well like you, and
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life was good except when something didn't come easily to me. I didn't do
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it. I staffed it out. I asked a friend whether it was making
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Halloween costumes, my girlfriend did it, or it was something at work.
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I just staffed it out. And I didn't realize until I started seeing that
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I was playing small. I was only doing what came easily to me.
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And when my girlfriend said to me, I said, how did you learn
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PowerPoint? And she said, oh, it was easy. I just got
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on and I failed and failed and failed until I did it, and I
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realized I would never do that. And here was the belief that kind of
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makes me always cry thinking about it. I'm not capable, I'm not smart,
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And of course mistakes failures are bad because when I made a mistake,
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not only my teachers but my father would yell at me. Right when I
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got rid of those beliefs, that peace that you're talking about went away,
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the self doubt, the unwillingness to try, all of a sudden, when
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I said the words, I'm not capable. So if everybody's listening, if
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you say words out loud, so if you take a deep breath and you
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say I'm not good enough, now say I'm not capable. Now say I'm
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a monkey. So when you say I'm a monkey, it feels silly.
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When you say the words of a belief, it doesn't feel good to say
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it because it feels true. So it's the first way you know that you
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have a belief. It doesn't feel good to say, or you don't want
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to say it. Sometimes I'll say to people, say I'm not worth loving,
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which is a very tough belief to confront a relationship belief. I'm not
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loving, and they look at me like like a deer in the headlights,
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like I don't want to say that. It's just words, right, I'm
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not worth loving, I'm not good enough, I'm not capable. They're just
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words, but they're loaded because you believe them. So it isn't the maturity
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that got you past it. It's that so many things just came easily to
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you. But when something doesn't, when you fail, when you make a
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mistake, what comes up are those beliefs from the third grade that haven't gone
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away yet. That's so true. Well, sometimes you, I guess in
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life, all of a sudden, you think you're lousy at something, and
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then something happens and you find out, hey, I'm good at it.
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So life kind of has a way of bailing you out sometimes of these false
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beliefs. But getting a problem is that a lot of people won't try.
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They won't even try to see that they could do it. That's procrastination.
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Yeah. I mean I've gone back because I missed a lot of work.
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Not that I wasn't in school and I could pick it up. I was
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smart enough being there. But I went back and like learned old grammar from
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like fifth grade and up, and it's like stuff was easy. Like I
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just believed that I could not learn it, and you know what, I
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was right on the money. I couldn't learn it because I couldn't open my
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mind up to the possibility that I could learn it. Beliefs determine I love
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that, Carrie. Beliefs determine your reality. So the fact that you were
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smart and of course you could learn it, people get rid of beliefs and
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they go, what was the big deal? Oh, my god, of
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course I can do this. Beliefs. Beliefs determine what you hear, what
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you see, what's possible. I told the story three times and after my
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friend had a session with me, well, she had two sessions with me
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about men and relationships. I told the story about my husband and she said,
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Shelly, I've heard you tell that story three times. That's the first
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time I ever heard it. She couldn't hear it given her beliefs. So
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they really do keep us from growing from being who were meant to be and
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and really whatever you want to do. So money believes, Yeah, money
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beliefs. So there are religious beliefs, right, like money is the root
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of all evil. Money is scarce and hard to get. Excuse me.
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Money is not spiritual, right, you have to step on people to make
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money. You have to lie to make money. People have all these beliefs
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about making money, and they call me and they go, I do all
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the right things and money comes in and then it slips through my fingers or
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it just doesn't come no matter what I do, it just doesn't come.
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Beliefs are very powerful and it tells the universe. Yeah, no, I
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don't not going to happen to me, all right. So there's this new
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ag concept, the law of attraction. People will go through these things.
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You know, there's a million people peddling this stuff and then hey, I
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thought good thoughts, and you know, I'm thinking wealth, I see myself,
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you know, running the world, whatever it is, and then it
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doesn't happen. And then the practitioners of this say, well, you're not
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believing hard at us. You know, you don't really believe it, you're
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not thinking positive thoughts enough, and then you wind up feeling worse about it.
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Yeah, it's exactly. And it's like affirmation. And I always say
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when people tell me the law of attraction, I always say, well,
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how's that working for you? You know, working great? If it's not,
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maybe drive something else. But it's the same thing. Carry with affirmations.
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People stand in front of a mirror going I'm good enough, I'm good
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enough, I'm good enough. Who has to stand in front of the mirror
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and say that over and over and over again, somebody who believes they're not,
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So you keep affirming that you're not going to by doing that, and
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it's you know, for some people, maybe it works, and if it
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works and you're listening, that's wonderful. Keep doing it. But for most
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people it doesn't work because it doesn't get rid of the beliefs, and then
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you have to spend your life doing that. Even if it's working. I
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don't want to stand in front of a mirror old day saying you know it's
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good enough, or I deserve it, you know whatever, it is,
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beautiful, whatever. So is it fair to say then that for most people,
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their challenge, whether they're aware of it or not, whether you know
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it or not, is to spend your life getting rid of these false beliefs
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that you totally believe. So you have to question everything you really believe in
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basically your whole life from start to finish, and you're involved in kind of
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an internal struggle to shed these beliefs. Yeah. So no, first of
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all, one of the things I always say, I'm a result squirrel,
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right, So we have a We've created a nineteen belief a package with nineteen
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beliefs where you can eliminate all your self esteem beliefs interacting with a video,
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and we made it very affordable because we want people to get rid of beliefs.
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However, getting rid of beliefs is a means to an end. I
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say I'm a result squirrel. I do not want people coming to me and
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working on themselves for the rest of their lives. It's exhausting. I want
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you to come to me and tell me, what is your pattern? So
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a pattern is observable. I can see you struggling around money, I can
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see you not taking risks, I can see you fearful of public speaking.
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I can see you anxious all the time. So there's behavioral patterns and emotional
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patterns and then reality patterns. I do all the right things and nothing happens.
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But the behavioral and the emotional patterns are generally what people come to me
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with. I want to look at what are the beliefs underwhying that pattern.
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So take fear of public speaking. It is the only pattern that has the
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same beliefs for every person. So this eleven beliefs and what we call conditionings
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that are the same for every person. And you get rid of those four
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sessions, you get riding your fear of public speaking, and that's it.
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Next you have anything else to work on. So I talk to my clients
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about watering all the plants. If you had all the plants in your house,
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you would never water just one, right because the other ones who die.
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And yet we spend a lot of time in one area in our career
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or in health. You know, we have people who are exercise fanatics,
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and you know, so I look at watering all the plants. So when
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people come to me, they say, I procrastinate. So we get rid
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of procrastination. I say, how are your relationships? I pick the wrong
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people, they don't treat me well. I stay in them. Okay,
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let's get rid of that. We get rid of the beliefs, We get
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rid of that pattern and everything else. No, I take care of myself.
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I eat well, I'm exercising. My leney is great, my career
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is great. Great, see a, go live your life. I believe
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life is to be enjoyed. It's juicy, it's fun, it's alive,
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it's vibrant. Then you have a problem, come back and we'll get rid
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of that. But it's not like I'm going to sit there and go,
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gee, I wonder what I believe. It's irrelevant. What are your plans
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looking like? Right? How's your relationship? How's your money? How's your
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health? How's your parenting? How's your free time? Your leisure time?
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If all those plants are singing, knock yourself out. I don't care why
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you believe? Right? So are these false beliefs kind of tied together in
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a web? So where you get rid of one then it gets easier to
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get rid of the others. Is it kind of like a web of trauma?
25:52
You know, that's an interesting question. The process to get rid of
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beliefs is the same, right, you just got to figure out which one's
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caused what pattern. My favorite population of people to work with are sexual abuse
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survivors, so either incest survivors or people people who have been sexually abused.
26:18
Because one of the things that is an implication in my work that we don't
26:23
have time in this podcast to talk about, but it's basically all of your
26:30
pain and suffering. Listen, every this is very important. All of your
26:36
pain and suffering comes from the meaning we give events. Events have no inherent
26:47
meaning, so we don't know anything for short because something happens. Okay,
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so when you said my teacher made me feel it really feels like that your
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teacher didn't make you feel anything. The meaning you gave what she did made
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you feel, right, So anytime you have a negative emotion, it's because
27:14
you gave an event meaning. Now I can tell you very quickly how to
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get rid of that emotion. But your beliefs determine the meaning you give events.
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So if you believe I'll never get what I want. And you have
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a financial deal full through, you're going to give You're going to give it
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the meaning that happened, right. I knew that was going to happen.
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You if you believe dogs are dangerous and a dog comes into the room,
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you're gonna give it the meaning the dog's gonna bite me. So our beliefs.
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You want to get rid of your beliefs, but you can get rid
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of the meaning in a moment. We have a course that in ten weeks
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you become a guru. You learn how to dissolve all the meaning. When
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my husband died, he was like a guru. He gave nothing meaning and
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he was diagnosed with what stage colon cancer? And he went, Okay,
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what are we gonna do? And it wasn't denial at all. So there's
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a tool that you can practice where something happens you a deal falls through,
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and you say, oh God, what meaning did I give it? You
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know I'm going to starve to death or I'll never be successful? What else
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could it mean? There's a better deal around the corner. But the fact
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that the deal fell through has no inherent meaning. We don't know anything for
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sure because that happened, so it might have a consequence, but it has
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no meaning. Okay, go ahead. So the question is do your false
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beliefs and they stem from events that had no meaning, but you gave it
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to them. Does that is that a result of trauma or is it a
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result? Or is the trauma result of you giving it meaning that it didn't
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otherwise have brilliant because that's where I was going with sexual abuse survivors. Right,
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So they conclude things like I'm powerless, I'm damaged goods, I'm worthless,
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it was my fault, and those beliefs clause what happened to impact your
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life? If you had something company molested you and you went I that was
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yucky, and walked away from it with no beliefs about men, no beliefs
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about sex, no beliefs about people, it wouldn't be a trauma. It's
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a trauma. Plus we make meaning out of what happened. Now, I'm
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not saying being sexually abused as a walk in the park, right, it's
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not. And you can say it was a traumatic event, but it doesn't
30:14
have to impact the rest of your life, gotcha? Okay? So I
30:19
think I think we come pretty far here. So the events of your life.
30:27
I mean, I always say that of what happens in your life is
30:33
meaningless anyway because you're not going to remember it for more than a few minutes.
30:37
Maybe, you know, it always kind of weigh it. If I'm
30:41
going to remember it for a month, well maybe it's a little more substantial
30:45
a year, five years, ten years. But effectively, regardless of our
30:52
perceived impact of the event, the event itself is of no consequence. No,
30:57
that's very, very very different. Now, listen, this is an
31:02
important distinction. My husband died. He was an extraordinary husband, father,
31:11
human being. I loved him desperately. I loved him and he loved me.
31:15
Desperate married thirty four years. His death had was of consequence to me.
31:25
I will remember him always. I'm ready for the second half, you
31:30
know, I'm ready to meet another man and create a whole second half.
31:34
Absolutely. And here's the thing. The fact that he died does not mean
31:45
I'm going to starve to death, which was a meaning I gave because I
31:48
didn't know how to run a business. I didn't have a clue. I
31:51
didn't know the difference. As I always say on podcasts, I didn't know
31:53
the difference between a P and L and a balance sheet when he died,
31:59
but THET and my business is doing way better than when he was alive.
32:04
So the fact that I didn't know how to run a business didn't mean I
32:08
was going to starve to death. The fact that he died didn't mean that
32:14
I'll be alone for the rest of my life. It doesn't mean I'll never
32:17
be happy again. The consequences were I don't have him. I make a
32:24
lot of decisions by myself that I wish I didn't have to. There's I
32:29
run the business. There's consequences to his death. I miss him. But
32:36
the fact that he died has no inherent meaning. In other words, we
32:40
don't know anything for sure because it happened. So it's not that it didn't
32:46
matter. Sometimes something happens and it matters. Sometimes you remember it, sometimes
32:52
you don't. It could be of consequence, it could not be of consequence.
32:55
That's irrelevant. What's relevant is the events have no meaning. So if
33:00
you never made over. I had a client come to me. She was
33:06
making twenty five thousand dollars a year working in a nonprofit. She got rid
33:10
of all her beliefs and one of her beliefs was I can't get I can't
33:16
ask for a lot of money because I've never made a lot of money.
33:22
We got rid of that belief. She asked for one hundred and twenty five
33:24
thousand dollars, got it. And I have two or three stories very similar
33:32
to that where people add the belief because I never made money before, I'm
33:37
not going to or whatever. And then you get rid of the belief and
33:40
it just becomes a possibility. And it's not the law of attraction. It's
33:45
when something is possible, you step into that possibility with your behavior, with
33:52
your emotional state. Yeah, I say, we're kind of suffering from the
33:59
law of distraction that's affecting our lives. We're distracted from what we can truly
34:06
be by these false, limiting beliefs. Fair to say, fair to say?
34:12
All right, So then, just without giving away the whole show,
34:16
and I realize that there's a lot of work that goes into this, that
34:21
you have to really devote to some effort to uncover the beliefs and then get
34:27
rid of them. But what's the quickest way to get rid of a false
34:30
belief without going into you know, hypnosis or whatever whatever. Altered state to
34:39
you need to go into to do this. So the first thing is go
34:44
to eliminate beliefs dot com. And there are three of the most common beliefs
34:50
that we have, and you can eliminate one. And then again, it's
34:57
not like you get up and you go, I have the belief whatever,
35:00
and I have the belief that I don't deserve to have good things, and
35:07
you go, that's a crappy belief to have. And you can go on
35:12
eliminate beliefs thing and go through this process. You go through the steps.
35:15
It's a it's a I don't know eight step process and I don't know how
35:22
many steps it is. And you go through those questions and when you get
35:27
to the question did you ever see I don't deserve to have good things?
35:32
The answer is always going to be no. I saw my father tell me
35:37
that. I saw I never getting Christmas presents. I saw getting hand me
35:43
downs. Those are seeable, but you cannot see a belief. So it's
35:50
not just eliminating beliefs again, it's eliminating patterns. You want to stop procrastinating,
35:59
you want to start playing small. I worked with a lot of day
36:02
traders. They either didn't pull the trigger. They were afraid to pull the
36:07
trigger. Or they hire people and they don't listen to them. You know,
36:12
the people tell them to do things, they have winning trades, and
36:15
then they stop listening to them. So you want to stop doing that,
36:20
right, You want to start pulling the trigger. You want to start you
36:23
want to stop beating yourself up if you make a mistake or you fail.
36:29
Right, Richard Granson, I like you. I love quotes, and Richard
36:32
Granson says, if you're not sailing a lot, you're going to be mediocre.
36:38
Because if you're not failing, you're doing what you did yesterday. You'll
36:42
never be successful doing what you did yesterday. Right, no risk, no
36:46
risk, no game risk, exactly, not in today's world. And we
36:51
all went to schools like you carry and like me. I had a teacher
36:55
in the sixth grade tell me you're just not creative. That was that stayed
37:00
with me for a while. But we live in we live in an information
37:07
age. We don't live in an industrial world anymore. You've got to make
37:12
mistakes to be innovative. And yet if you have the belief mistakes and failures
37:16
are bad, which is one of the beliefs you can eliminate. It's gonna
37:22
it's gonna paralyze you, but you want so how you eliminate a belief is
37:30
you go through this process and you know, I'm gonna have me on again.
37:32
I'll take you through the process. Takes you know, at least twenty
37:37
minutes to half the hour to do that. But when you want to do
37:44
your work, you want to get rid of all the beliefs. And there's
37:47
not a million. As I said, you know what he believes. It
37:52
could be a couple of sessions, one session, you know, it depends.
37:59
It's not hard, but you've got to know what the beliefs are underlying
38:04
the pattern that you want to change. Got it all right? Bellis makes
38:08
a lot of sense here. So you should go right over to Eliminate Beliefs
38:14
dot com and find out more about how you do it. I mean,
38:16
we've all got them. Basically, everybody I know has got got these beliefs.
38:22
And really like the person who can never have enough, like didn't you
38:29
know, disappointed their parents and they're still believing that they're going to disappoint everybody,
38:35
and that drives them to Workoholism and other insanity I mean, I guess
38:39
you can trace most of people's behavioral and personality disorders back to these beliefs,
38:46
can't you. So I play pickleball, right, I am a fanatic pickleball
38:53
player. And there's this guy that everybody thought was like this horrible guy.
39:00
He when he drops, when he when he misses a ball, he'll take
39:06
the paddle and he'll wrote it on the floor and he'll go good, just
39:10
like that. And then one day I see him and it takes the paddle
39:16
and he beats himself and he goes stupid, stupid, stupid, and everybody
39:22
thinks he's a jerk. I walk over to him and I said, I'm
39:24
not going to say his name. I said, your father was very hard
39:28
on you, huh with me? And he goes brutal. I'm sorry,
39:34
laughing, hysterical, but it's so true. Brudal, brudal. His father
39:38
was so hard on him that he believes what makes him good enough in doing
39:45
this, succeeding, is achieving, is doing things. So every time he
39:49
doesn't, he beats himself up because underneath that is I'm not good enough,
39:54
and it's never enough. Just thinking of this guy, this company, I
40:00
knew when somebody would go to him he was the it guy, and he'd
40:07
go he was Asian guy, and they'd say, you know, my computer
40:12
died, and you go, you back up your hard drive and say,
40:16
no, you know, back up your hard drive. You must be stupid,
40:20
stupid, stupid, stupid. And I think, how many parents do
40:22
that? I will say, like, my parents never did that to me,
40:27
and I never did that to my kids. You know, I just
40:30
realized that the more negativity you throw at your kids, the more they're going
40:35
to pick up. And this guy's a primate, real life example. So
40:42
I guess to be a better parent, you really need to uncover these false
40:46
beliefs and eliminate them as quickly as possible, because you're going to pass them
40:51
down to your kids, aren't you. Yes, yes, yes, That's
40:53
why I created a parenting course called Empowering the Next Generation. You've thought everything
41:00
year, Shelley, Well, you know you listen to what I listened to,
41:05
and the and the beliefs, as you said, Carrie, go from
41:07
generation to generation to generation. Not because it's some airy fairy legacy, but
41:14
because if you believe you're not good enough, you have to what makes you
41:19
good enough? For your achievements. Now your kids become your achievement and then
41:23
you do the same thing to them. Got it's so true. Yeah,
41:29
well been through this, Hey, it's been an amazing half hour here,
41:32
Shelley. I mean, uncovered so much here. And I always believe that
41:37
the happiness, that satisfaction with yourself and your relationship to the world was within
41:45
reach, but just seemed so impossible to actually do what was necessary to get
41:52
there. And I think what you've showed us is that you can get there
41:57
and it's not that hard. It just requires a will and a desire to
42:01
do it and to open up your mind to what you've been doing wrong.
42:06
I always say, like, until you're perfect, everything you do can be
42:10
improved, and you're never going to be. That's a great belief, all
42:15
right, believe I love that one. That's worth keeping, not eliminating,
42:20
and it's all beliefs dot com link is in the show notes to this interview
42:23
on Financial Survival Network dot com. Make sure you click it sign up for
42:29
a free newsletter if you got a question for Shelley myself. The email addresses
42:32
kl at carry LUTs dot com. Shelley really appreciate you coming on. We
42:37
will have you on again and be well. Thanks for having me, thanks
42:42
for listening to carry Lets's Financial Survival Network, your solution to today's trying times.
42:49
For the latest, go to Financial Survival Network dot com. Financial Survival
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