Latest / Movie Meltdown / 254: What Kind of Holiday Special is This?!

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254: What Kind of Holiday Special is This?! · Movie Meltdown

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Attention, shoppers! I trust you've got credit cards.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: To pay for all that stuff.
• 0:07
  Speaker 3: Hi, this is Captain Mary Stewart, and you're listening to
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: Movie Meltdown.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Merry Christmas!
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: Dinner with Paul! The following feature has been rated R
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: by the Motion Picture Association of America. It is intended
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: for mature audiences and parental discretion is advised.
• 0:31
  Speaker 4: Our nuclear reactor pumping out one million kilowatts of power.
• 0:37
  Speaker 5: Power!
• 0:48
  Speaker 6: We're going to have to provide more cooling in.
• 0:51
  Speaker 7: The containment chamber. To your stations, we have.
• 1:02
  Speaker 8: A rebound signal.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: That's the spirit.
• 1:08
  Speaker 9: You'll be celebrating Life Day before.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: You know it.
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: Happy holidays. Happy holidays. May the calendar keep bringing happy
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: holidays to you.
• 1:27
  Speaker 10: What's up and welcome to Movie Meltdown. I'm Brian. I'm Ben.
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: I'm Fred. I'm Marlena.
• 1:56
  Speaker 5: I'm Lucy.
• 1:57
  Speaker 11: Yoko.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: And happy holidays, or based on last year, happy life day.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: Celebrating life day once again.
• 2:07
  Speaker 12: You haven't missed a life day yet, have you, Brian?
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: No, I always make the trek home in the Falcon.
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: So, we are coming to you live via digital recording
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: from Fred's house.
• 2:17
  Speaker 11: Hey, Fred.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: Hi, Fred.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: I'm glad everybody's here. This is so cool.
• 2:22
  Speaker 5: It's a delight to be here.
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: We had a pizza party, and it was wonderful.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we've had the traditional holiday meal of pizza.
• 2:29
  Speaker 5: And Fred won the pizza wars.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: We did have a pizza war going. I think we
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: should just devote this point to the pizza party that
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: we just had. Lucy, you have many things to say
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: about Fred's pizza.
• 2:41
  Speaker 5: Well, I have a lot to say about pizza in general.
• 2:43
  Speaker 5: I would like to begin with.
• 2:49
  Speaker 5: This is hard for me because I don't know how
• 2:50
  Speaker 5: to say this diplomatically. I still.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: Just let it out.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 2:53
  Speaker 5: I really very much want Uncle Matty-O's to endorse this.
• 2:57
  Speaker 5: I want them to be a sponsor because I literally
• 3:00
  Speaker 5: drive here. The only reason I do this podcast is
• 3:02
  Speaker 5: so I can go to Uncle Matty-O's.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 3:03
  Speaker 5: That's the long and short of it. I live in Lexington.
• 3:05
  Speaker 5: I make the commute just to get the.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: Uncle Matty-O's pizza.
• 3:08
  Speaker 9: I'm from a different state. I don't know what Uncle
• 3:10
  Speaker 9: Matty-O's is.
• 3:11
  Speaker 5: Oh, well, let me tell you.
• 3:12
  Speaker 9: Oh, Jesus.
• 3:13
  Speaker 5: Do you really not?
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: I don't. No, no.
• 3:15
  Speaker 5: Okay, did you have some? No.
• 3:16
  Speaker 8: Did you try it tonight?
• 3:17
  Speaker 9: I have to drive. I figured I better not.
• 3:21
  Speaker 5: Well, Uncle Mattio's is a franchise. It was begun in
• 3:24
  Speaker 5: Atlanta by the fine folks that brought us Moe's, who
• 3:26
  Speaker 5: would also make a wonderful sponsor.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: All right, okay.
• 3:28
  Speaker 13: We'll take that, too.
• 3:30
  Speaker 5: That's a burrito joint. Now they have this pizza joint,
• 3:32
  Speaker 5: and you can get any kind of pizza that you want.
• 3:33
  Speaker 5: They have, like, seven different crusts. That might be somewhat
• 3:36
  Speaker 5: of a... well our fact checkers will get to that
• 3:38
  Speaker 5: but they have vegan crust they have gluten free vegan
• 3:41
  Speaker 5: crust they have vegan cheese you can get tofu but
• 3:44
  Speaker 5: like if you're an omnivore you can get all the
• 3:45
  Speaker 5: regular are you vegan?
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah I got one with steak on it one time
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: for the rest of you people you can get all
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: of that stuff and it had black stuff I don't
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: know what it was but it was pretty tasty I
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: just like the fact that I got a pizza with
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: black stuff on it not olives it was some sort
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: of liquid and it was black might have been ink
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: I don't know but.
• 4:02
  Speaker 11: Caviar fossil fuel pizza.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: I'll take that Well, I did order the dinosaur specials.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: I mean, little did I know.
• 4:09
  Speaker 9: So it's good is what you're saying, right?
• 4:12
  Speaker 5: It is amazingly good.
• 4:13
  Speaker 9: And they don't have it in Lexington.
• 4:14
  Speaker 5: They don't have it in Lexington.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: I would love to.
• 4:17
  Speaker 9: Just Atlanta and Louisville.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: Well, there are.
• 4:19
  Speaker 5: Other markets as well. It hasn't made it to Lexington yet.
• 4:22
  Speaker 5: Louisville is the closest to Lexington.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: Why aren't you buying a franchise?
• 4:26
  Speaker 5: Well, because then I would have to sell the other
• 4:28
  Speaker 5: stuff along with the vegan stuff, and I can't really
• 4:30
  Speaker 5: do that.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: Just touch it all.
• 4:33
  Speaker 11: Just put your hands in the raw meat and just
• 4:36
  Speaker 11: squeeze it.
• 4:37
  Speaker 10: It's okay.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: You don't have to eat it, but just feel better
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: knowing that you touched everything.
• 4:41
  Speaker 11: Just put the animals back together.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: Over and over until they quit asking.
• 4:45
  Speaker 11: And then you just galvanize them.
• 4:47
  Speaker 5: So, honestly, I had come tonight hoping that I could
• 4:51
  Speaker 5: maintain the party line, which is that Uncle Matty's is,
• 4:54
  Speaker 5: in fact, the best pizza ever.
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 4:55
  Speaker 5: Now there is, I have to qualify it, and that
• 5:00
  Speaker 5: is Uncle Matty-O's is the next best thing to homemade pizza.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: By Papa Fred.
• 5:06
  Speaker 11: It's true. I'm going to order a pizza from your
• 5:09
  Speaker 11: house next time.
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: Oh.
• 5:11
  Speaker 9: So by supporting Fred, you're supporting a small business.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: That's right. A small and non-existent business.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: The Uncle Matty-O. The corporate greed of Uncle Matty-O.
• 5:20
  Speaker 4: Just know that it doesn't exist.
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 5:22
  Speaker 8: Oh.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: This holiday season would support it.
• 5:26
  Speaker 9: Okay, Fred, why was your pizza so good?
• 5:28
  Speaker 8: I don't know.
• 5:29
  Speaker 9: What's your secret sauce?
• 5:30
  Speaker 11: It's like cheese.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: It's so good.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: The sauce. It was Daiya. It was Daiya, but with love.
• 5:38
  Speaker 9: Did you make it in your steampunk oven?
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: Yes, my chamber stove.
• 5:46
  Speaker 9: You guys should see this. It's a symphony in chrome.
• 5:50
  Speaker 9: It's amazing.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: Build a like one of those fire brick oven things
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: i can't make my pizza any better i can change
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: it one way or the other but it's as good
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: as i know how to make it.
• 6:02
  Speaker 5: I'm not emotionally prepared for your pizza to be any better.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: And i don't know you have a strange relationship with
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: this pizza i mean i ate it.
• 6:10
  Speaker 4: But even non-vegans would enjoy this pizza even people who
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: balk at the idea of vegan food.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: Would yeah i'm not a i'm not vegan i i
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: just like knowing how how to make vegan stuff, because
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: it's fun. Like the vegan haggis, which we can break out.
• 6:24
  Speaker 11: Please.
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: No, let's do this.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: You want to try.
• 6:28
  Speaker 11: The vegan haggis? See, I was like, what is he
• 6:29
  Speaker 11: talking about, haggis? I was like, haggis. That's what he meant.
• 6:33
  Speaker 5: Oh, Agus.
• 6:33
  Speaker 11: I don't know if that's even the correct way, but
• 6:35
  Speaker 11: that's the way.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: We're Americans. We do whatever we want with it.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: Oh, I don't know.
• 6:38
  Speaker 11: Because I was looking up Hoggis on my phone because
• 6:41
  Speaker 11: I was trying to be savvy and smart.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: It's made from hogs.
• 6:44
  Speaker 11: It was just like Hocus Pocus. I was like, no.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: You're like, not those other seven searches I did for
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: Hocus Pocus.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: It's like the first time I drove to Lexington, I
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: kept trying to find Versailles Road, and nobody's ever heard
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: of it.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: They'll tell you how to get to Versailles.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: It's a pretty major, no, I've never heard of that.
• 7:06
  Speaker 11: You mean Versailles?
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: Eventually somebody did clue me in. And Lynn tells me
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: there are people around here who say Bargetown Road. And
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: I was like, well, that's just how they say it.
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: And they do. And I'm like, I don't care. It's wrong.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: There's just not a G. We have a river.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: There's barges that go by all the time. It's the
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: same thing.
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: I mean, I'm okay with people saying bashful manor because
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: that's cute.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: They're just being smart at it.
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 7:33
  Speaker 12: People at home should get a Louisville roadmap out so
• 7:35
  Speaker 12: you can follow along with what.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: Uncle Fred is saying.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: It's hilarious.
• 7:40
  Speaker 9: I'm telling you, if you're from here, it's not funny.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: Place names in Kentucky. Monkey's Eyebrow.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: Okay, eyebrow?
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: Okay, I feel like an elbow.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: Eyebrow's so much better.
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: Do monkeys have eyebrows? I'm imagining like a well-manicured monkey eyebrow.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: Does every other area in the country have a big
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: bone lick? I just want to know.
• 8:01
  Speaker 11: I found out the history behind that if you guys
• 8:04
  Speaker 11: are interested. I know a lot about the history. Do
• 8:06
  Speaker 11: you know where the name is from?
• 8:07
  Speaker 5: I feel like this is going to ruin things for me.
• 8:10
  Speaker 11: No, it's not. For serious.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: I'll make up something.
• 8:13
  Speaker 11: Okay, so like, Hooved animals would be loving to lick salt.
• 8:17
  Speaker 11: That's their thing. And farmers put blocks of salt out
• 8:21
  Speaker 11: for their hooved animals. So apparently that area has a
• 8:26
  Speaker 11: lot of salt, and these critters come lick it. Critters
• 8:30
  Speaker 11: come lick it. It's beautiful.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: You know what? I just like that phrase right there.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: I'm calling dibs on the band name Critters Come Lick It.
• 8:38
  Speaker 11: You can have it.
• 8:40
  Speaker 9: So where are the pepper licks coming from?
• 8:41
  Speaker 11: A pepper elixir in my pants.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: Keep back the animals! They're breaking down the door!
• 8:47
  Speaker 11: Well, apparently, they found some carbon dating on some large
• 8:50
  Speaker 11: bones they found in the area, and they found out
• 8:52
  Speaker 11: that these.
• 8:58
  Speaker 11: There's some really old critters that come licking in this region,
• 9:01
  Speaker 11: and that's what's called big bone lick. So they found
• 9:03
  Speaker 11: all these bones, big animals licking them.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: They're mammoth bones.
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: Thomas Jefferson put a bid on them, but he found
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: they were too expensive. And there was a guy named
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: Captain Thomas Ash, an Irishman whose name wasn't actually a captain,
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: wasn't actually Irish.
• 9:23
  Speaker 12: Captain D.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: He was a con man, but he... He gathered up
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: a bunch of those bones.
• 9:27
  Speaker 4: I had a roommate like that.
• 9:30
  Speaker 11: I think everybody has at one time.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: Were there bones in his closet?
• 9:34
  Speaker 9: Probably.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: The one story I know from real life that is
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: most like a Coen Brothers plot, because nobody in the
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: whole thing had any idea of what anybody else was doing.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: But the guy wrote a book that you can find online,
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: and I know people say Hunter Thompson invented gonzo journalism.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: But if you look up the definition of gonzo journalism,
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: this book from 1811 is pretty much the same thing.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: It was Travels in America Performed in the Year 1811
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: by Captain something, I think it's Thomas Asch.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: O.G. Reid.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: Wasn't his real name. But anyway, he stole these bones
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: off property that didn't belong to him, took them back
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: to England, couldn't pay the duty on them, and lost them.
• 10:24
  Speaker 11: You said duty.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I did say duty.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: You said bones.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: What was the thing I was going to say about that?
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: There were so many weird parts of the story. Oh,
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: but the book, you can look it up, and it
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: also tells a story about the mummies that were found.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: People consider this book to be the first judgment passed
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: on American culture. And it's full of lies and nonsense
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: and stuff he made up and borrowed, but it is
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: the first account of Native American mummies before any were found.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: And it describes them to a T, and then people
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: started finding them in the years following, and they are
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: exactly as described in this book. But he described a
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: cavern in Lexington... where a bunch of native american mummies
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: were found tons of them and how people uh dragged
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: them out and beat them to pieces and destroyed all
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: the scientific value.
• 11:25
  Speaker 11: They tell you they say why they wanted to beat
• 11:28
  Speaker 11: the mummies to.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: Pieces because of the american character starting to say have
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: you not seen all those stories on the internet of
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: what we do ignoramuses um And he told this story,
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: and they'd never found the cavern in Lexington.
• 11:44
  Speaker 9: Ancient rock formations?
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: But they did start finding actual mummified remains, and people
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: started destroying them.
• 11:53
  Speaker 11: That's good.
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there was like three stories in a row of...
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: americans being stupid and half the time we left the
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: country to go do it in other countries but there
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: was the one recently where they knocked over the rock
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: that is so because it might fall on somebody no
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: they were destructive okay yeah well no i thought the
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: one was like a troop leader and like who put
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: this idiot in charge there was the guy who caught
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: the six-legged octopus which makes him not an octopus but
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: he was like legitimately he was an octopus and was
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: born like mutated and only had six And instead of
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: taking him to the museum or some sort of research area,
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: they ate him.
• 12:31
  Speaker 8: Oh.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: And they said, tasted like octopus.
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 12:35
  Speaker 5: Yep.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: There were several of those stories in the last six months.
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: It's probably not that amazing. It's probably just like a
• 12:40
  Speaker 4: birth defect.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: But they said they found like two of those ever
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: in history. And he ate one.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: Think of what they could have done with that in
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: a Bond movie. Sextopus.
• 12:53
  Speaker 14: I'd rate that.
• 12:54
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: But, you know, sometimes it's not even malicious. There was
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: that guy who was studying trees, and he had this
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: special drill bit to drill in trees. And the first
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: tree he went out, drilled into the tree, and the
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: bit got stuck. And he couldn't get it out, no
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: matter what he did. And his whole grant was tied
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: up in having this special drill bit. And so he
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: went to the rangers for help, and they said, The
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: forest rangers, they said, it's not a big deal. We'll
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: just cut it down and get your thing out. There
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: are plenty of other trees. They cut the tree down.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: He started looking at the rings. It was the oldest
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: known living tree in the world. And it destroyed him.
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: Just his career. He became the guy who cut down
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: the oldest.
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: 20 years later.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: A reporter saw it and said, hey, aren't you that guy?
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: Oh, man.
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: And he ran away. He just couldn't deal with it.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: It was completely unintentional, but he became known as the guy.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: Dude, I would have gotten a t-shirt. I'm the guy
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: that cut down the oldest tree.
• 14:00
  Speaker 12: But you know, somewhere in the world, there was a
• 14:02
  Speaker 12: forest where the second oldest tree.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: Was like, finally, it's my time to shine.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: Thank you, that guy.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: Keep up with what is the oldest tree. because there
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: could always be something somewhere. But I think what they
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: believe is the oldest continuously living organism is that cancer
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: on the faces of Tasmanian devils that somehow their immune
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: system doesn't recognize that it's not theirs, and so it's communicable.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: They catch it from each other.
• 14:36
  Speaker 11: So it's one living thing.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: It's one living thing, and they think it's between 200
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: to 200, years old.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: It's like a cancerous sourdough.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: It just keeps going. Because they're always biting each other
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: and they're always bloody because they bite during sex and stuff.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: And they're very inbred. And so they have a poor
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: immune system that doesn't recognize that when they get some
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: of this tumorous stuff on them that it isn't their cells,
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: and so it's a communicable cancer. It's weird. It's a
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: melting pot. It's like a melting pot.
• 15:19
  Speaker 4: I love the conversation that's already encompassed in just a
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: few short minutes.
• 15:25
  Speaker 11: And then wasn't there a woman that tripped and fell
• 15:30
  Speaker 11: and ripped either a Van Gogh or a Picasso? I
• 15:33
  Speaker 11: can't remember which. That was like in 2009.
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: Though, I think. I know some stories like that.
• 15:38
  Speaker 11: Do you remember about that? I can't remember if it
• 15:40
  Speaker 11: was a Van Gogh or... I want to say it
• 15:42
  Speaker 11: was a Picasso. It was big.
• 15:43
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 15:44
  Speaker 11: But I can't remember.
• 15:44
  Speaker 9: Maybe it was just a Bob Picasso and no one
• 15:46
  Speaker 9: really cared.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: I was working all night in the garage.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: I didn't hear that one, but when I worked in
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: an art museum, there were many stories of things that
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: went wrong. And I was present at some great.
• 15:57
  Speaker 10: Really?
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: Responsible is what you're saying?
• 15:59
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 15:59
  Speaker 4: I think my favorite story like that is the woman
• 16:03
  Speaker 4: who Tried to touch up the face of Jesus and
• 16:06
  Speaker 4: he just looked like a coconut monkey.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's great.
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, a coconut monkey.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: That's a great painting.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: That's my favorite. But one that happened at the local
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: art museum, the Speed, they had this, there's a great
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: German sculptor, Willem Lengbroek. Really love it. I think it was, yeah,
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: it was Lengbroek. And he had a bust of a woman,
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: a bather, that started at about the hip And so
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: it was hollow. It was hollow cast. And they had
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: an event, and they have a fountain there, and the fountain,
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: the sculpture garden. And they put the thing in the
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: center of the fountain. They put flowers around it. They
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: had the fundraiser.
• 16:46
  Speaker 9: Chocolate fondue?
• 16:46
  Speaker 11: Is that where we're going? Are we going to chocolate
• 16:48
  Speaker 11: fondue land now?
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: No.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: You're just hoping. No, what happened was they forgot that
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: the fountain is, they had the event. Everybody went home.
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: They forgot the fountain's on a timer. The pressure builds
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: up overnight. So it went off in the morning before
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: anyone came in and fired this sculpture like a water rocket.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: Did the security camera catch it? That would have been great.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't even know. But it shattered,
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: and they didn't have really good photos of it. So
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: they got this woman from Boston to rebuild all the
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: wet shards of stuff, and it looks now like.
• 17:26
  Speaker 9: Not even close, right?
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: I don't even know.
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: How do you know that it looks like he did
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: a sculpture of... bathing woman who had had some serious
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: reconstructive surgery.
• 17:35
  Speaker 12: You're totally telling the humpty dumpty story only in artsy
• 17:39
  Speaker 12: fartsy terms.
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah it's the humpty dumpty artsy fartsy.
• 17:42
  Speaker 15: Yeah it's awesome yeah yeah there were great stories like
• 17:47
  Speaker 15: that and i know some people now who don't really
• 17:50
  Speaker 15: like to trade those stories but i collected them.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: I loved them why not it's like and we had
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: this thing like whenever we had to do something that
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: made us nervous we would always start with what's the
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: worst possible way we could do this? Like, we've got
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: to get this sculpture through turning doors. Well, we could
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: just put it in there and crank it. And somehow
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: that relieves the tension. And you don't feel as nervous
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: about tripping and cutting up a Van Gogh or something. Yeah.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: The holidays.
• 18:28
  Speaker 9: Pizza!
• 18:28
  Speaker 8: It's made with the original crispy pizza crust, our exclusive
• 18:33
  Speaker 8: pizza sauce, a pinch of salt, a touch of parmesan
• 18:37
  Speaker 8: grated cheese, mozzarella cheese.
• 18:39
  Speaker 9: A little oregano, and into the oven it goes. And presto,
• 18:43
  Speaker 9: a delicious pizza.
• 18:46
  Speaker 14: What'll it be, folks?
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: Cheese or sausage?
• 18:48
  Speaker 8: Why not enjoy some delicious California crispy pizza?
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: Oh, cartons of camels are sure to please. Besides, they
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: look so handsome under Christmas trees. So easy to give,
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: so good to get. Give camels the nation's favorite cigarette. Ho, ho, ho.
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: It's gift-packed, ready to give, with a space for your greetings.
• 19:12
  Speaker 14: Tweaked Audio, your source for high-performance, noise-reducing earbuds. Available in
• 19:17
  Speaker 14: three styles and seven colors, durable and designed to sound
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  Speaker 14: great for both music and those chatty podcasts, like the
• 19:24
  Speaker 14: one you're listening to now. Tweaked Audio earbuds come with
• 19:27
  Speaker 14: a one-year warranty, and now there's a special deal for
• 19:29
  Speaker 14: Movie Meltdown listeners. Just go to tweakedaudio.com, and when you
• 19:33
  Speaker 14: check out, enter the discount code MELTDOWN. Then you'll get
• 19:36
  Speaker 14: 33% off and free shipping. Tweaked Audio. Sounds better.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: You use up all the glue on purpose.
• 19:47
  Speaker 10: Hey guys, it's it's the repeater from the tower of
• 19:50
  Speaker 10: technobabble and we're getting ready to do our next show
• 19:53
  Speaker 10: and i thought it might be cool for you to
• 19:55
  Speaker 10: look behind the scenes and see how the magic happens
• 19:59
  Speaker 10: uh in fact conduit is getting tower bot ready right.
• 20:02
  Speaker 9: Now as we speak.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: Approaching Singularity.
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: Got it.
• 20:04
  Speaker 4: Avengers.
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: Got it. Bacon. Need it. Batman. Got it. Bigfoot. Got it.
• 20:07
  Speaker 4: Cartoons.
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: Got it. Catwoman. Got it.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: Comics.
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: Got it. Conspiracies. Need it. Doctor Who. Got it.
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: Green Lantern.
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: Got it. Hoaxes. Need it.
• 20:14
  Speaker 4: Mars.
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: Got it.
• 20:15
  Speaker 4: Monkeys.
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: Got it. Movie reviews. Got it. Myths. Got it. NASA.
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: Need it.
• 20:18
  Speaker 9: Oceanography.
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: Got it.
• 20:19
  Speaker 11: Politics.
• 20:20
  Speaker 9: Tune in at www.toweroftechnobattle.com and see what happens.
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: Hello, this is Tom Cade, the voice of the professor
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: from The Powerpuff Girls.
• 20:56
  Speaker 7: And you're listening to Movie Meltdown.
• 20:59
  Speaker 11: Oh, I love it so.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: Oh, no.
• 21:00
  Speaker 11: What if I don't get my official Red Raider Carbine
• 21:04
  Speaker 11: Action 200 Shot Rage Model Air Rifle?
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: You'll shoot your eye out, kid. That's part of your problem,
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: you know. You haven't seen enough movies. All of life's
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: riddles are answered in the movies. And now, on with
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: the show.
• 21:25
  Speaker 9: Oh, this is going to be a groove for me.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: It's going to be a little something different, but we're
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: going to give it to them anyway.
• 21:30
  Speaker 4: Are you ready?
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: Come on.
• 21:32
  Speaker 6: We want to give out a present to everybody this Christmas.
• 21:36
  Speaker 5: All around the world, for every man, woman, boy, and girl.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: Are you ready right now?
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: Come on.
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: Here we go.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: Oh, I like it like that.
• 21:42
  Speaker 5: Come on.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: That's it.
• 21:43
  Speaker 10: All right.
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: Come on.
• 21:45
  Speaker 6: Oh, Christmas presents around the world.
• 21:52
  Speaker 11: Something mine is sweet to see.
• 21:55
  Speaker 16: If only if I just had a present for everyone
• 21:59
  Speaker 16: under one great big Christmas tree. For every boy that
• 22:05
  Speaker 16: wants a brand new toy, for every Johnny that wants.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: A car, for every junior that wants a mobile bike.
• 22:15
  Speaker 5: That rides and rides and rides.
• 22:18
  Speaker 6: Now my little doll, she wants a doll that cries,
• 22:24
  Speaker 6: one that walks and wipes its eyes. And I see
• 22:29
  Speaker 6: there's someone that wants somebody home just to live and
• 22:33
  Speaker 6: have in their arms.
• 22:35
  Speaker 11: What a Christmas present.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: This Christmas came for.
• 22:41
  Speaker 9: What a gift you could be.
• 22:44
  Speaker 6: I accidentally only shopped at Kohl's yesterday for.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: Small Business Saturday.
• 22:49
  Speaker 8: Accidentally?
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: I went to three Kohl's. I was looking for... I really,
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: really like... I was looking for something specific. I passed
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: by a lot of independent businesses to go to the
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: most corporate ones.
• 23:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I felt really bad.
• 23:24
  Speaker 8: But.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: I pointed a laugh at him.
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: I don't have a credit card for, like, why Louisville
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: or something like that. I mean, just don't. I don't
• 23:32
  Speaker 4: have any money. I do have credit cards.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: Though, so... That's been my plan forever.
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: I bought a juicer and a pair of shoes and
• 23:39
  Speaker 4: a food processor.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: Crazy dude.
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: What I was thinking about this year is, like, can
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: you even give movies as a gift anymore? It seems
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: like they've become a devalued currency.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: As we recently discussed.
• 23:54
  Speaker 9: There goes my present to you, friends.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: Nobody.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: Well, I mean, I do because I believe in them
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: as gifts, but it seems like it's not. As easy
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: to do as it used to be.
• 24:06
  Speaker 9: Yes, you can.
• 24:07
  Speaker 12: If you give them to someone who's a VHS insane person, right?
• 24:11
  Speaker 9: Adjust your tracking. What was it called?
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: Adjust your tracking.
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: So we can see that.
• 24:15
  Speaker 5: VHS collector.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 24:16
  Speaker 11: Oh, VHS is rad though. So is there a movie
• 24:19
  Speaker 11: about this?
• 24:19
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 24:21
  Speaker 11: There's two of them.
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: Explain.
• 24:23
  Speaker 5: We will revisit.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: Is it on DVD?
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: Actually, that's the fact part.
• 24:26
  Speaker 12: You can either go back and listen to the last
• 24:28
  Speaker 12: podcast or Lucy can give you the condensers.
• 24:31
  Speaker 5: I don't know if Brian wants us to have this,
• 24:33
  Speaker 5: but Rehash.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: Of last episode.
• 24:35
  Speaker 9: Well, it's Christmas. You're supposed to talk about old stories.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: Relive the memories. My thing that I do is retell
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: the same story every podcast.
• 24:43
  Speaker 9: Fred only has one story. He just illustrates different things.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: That would be kind of like if Shaggy started going raw.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: You have your own things you do.
• 24:56
  Speaker 11: So is it on the internet or on Netflix or anything?
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: Um, possibly?
• 25:01
  Speaker 5: Yes, I know that it's touring right now. There's actually
• 25:05
  Speaker 5: two documentaries, and I've already forgotten the name of.
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: The other one.
• 25:06
  Speaker 11: It's touring? Is it with, like, Found Footage Festival?
• 25:09
  Speaker 5: No, no, it's, well, just, it's doing the festival circuit
• 25:11
  Speaker 5: right now, so.
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: Oh, cool.
• 25:12
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and actually the two filmmakers were sort of taking
• 25:15
  Speaker 5: it city to city and then having VHS sales, like,
• 25:18
  Speaker 5: set up outside of the screenings, which was amazing. And
• 25:21
  Speaker 5: I think that's how they were actually sort of living
• 25:24
  Speaker 5: off of that enterprise, because... It really is like creating,
• 25:27
  Speaker 5: I mean, a market for itself. Like they make this
• 25:30
  Speaker 5: documentary saying, oh, people love VHS tapes. And by the way,
• 25:33
  Speaker 5: we're going to have some for sale in the lobby.
• 25:35
  Speaker 5: And this is now a collector's market.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: I think that's the real drive for this.
• 25:38
  Speaker 5: Yeah, like pawning over like 10 bucks for like VHS
• 25:42
  Speaker 5: for keeps or whatever.
• 25:43
  Speaker 9: Because, you know, I was cleaning out my basement and
• 25:45
  Speaker 9: I found two VCRs. I couldn't throw them out.
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: You shouldn't.
• 25:49
  Speaker 9: I'm beginning to think I might need them or something.
• 25:53
  Speaker 9: When the apocalypse comes, I have nothing to watch my
• 25:55
  Speaker 9: stories on.
• 25:56
  Speaker 4: Misty and Jay gave me a bunch of Carl Sagan VHSs,
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: and I'm like, I need to get a VCR and
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: watch them someday. It's probably not going to happen.
• 26:03
  Speaker 11: Do you guys remember those commercials where they would give
• 26:07
  Speaker 11: you these options of what career path you could take?
• 26:09
  Speaker 11: They used to always be on Nickelodeon. They were like,
• 26:11
  Speaker 11: you could be a veterinary assistant.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: And they told you you'd be a VHS collector?
• 26:15
  Speaker 11: No, I wanted to be a VCR repairman.
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: Repairman.
• 26:17
  Speaker 11: That was always one of them. That district. Yeah.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: I do remember that. Do you remember that?
• 26:22
  Speaker 11: The VCR repairman. Or get your degree. You can major
• 26:24
  Speaker 11: in business accounting or something.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: There was also an option where you could do forensic studies.
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: I wanted to do that from home. That's so weird.
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: That's what this table's for.
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 26:36
  Speaker 11: It's the weary flesh table.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: The table of weary flesh.
• 26:42
  Speaker 4: What if you had to massage a really fat person?
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: I did. I did repair a VCR once. I had
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: one went bad, and I opened it up, and it
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: actually had some little instructions for the repair person. But
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: it had this little light beam in it.
• 27:00
  Speaker 5: Like life instructions?
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah. You really should get something to do. A little
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: fortune cookie. Fortunes in there. But it said there was
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: something to make it cycle through. It had this little
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: laser beam, which... It was just like in every jewel
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: heist movie. If you tripped the laser beam thing, then
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: it would cycle through without having the tape in it.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: And when it did that, I could see that there
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: was this little cog that was misplaced and not catching.
• 27:32
  Speaker 2: I just bent it over and it worked.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: As you were doing this, did you also arch your
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: ass underneath it?
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: Zeta-Jones style.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, actually, no. I did more like a... He had
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: to pop on a cigarette and blow it in so
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: he could see the picture. I did like a backflip
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: and somersault.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: I would hope so. It's the only way to go
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: through lasers.
• 27:52
  Speaker 4: I got a Blu-ray player yesterday just because it was
• 27:55
  Speaker 4: like free. on Amazon well I traded in some textbooks
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: and had like $ 50 credit and uh someone's like oh
• 28:02
  Speaker 4: my god you're going to the dark side but I
• 28:04
  Speaker 4: just got it to watch like Netflix and Hulu.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: That's why I got mine initially I was like I
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: didn't even like I had a ancient television I'm like
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: it's not gonna make any difference if I'm watching blu-ray
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: or not but it's cheaper than buying the box It
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: was the same price, and I could watch a Blu-ray.
• 28:19
  Speaker 4: If I wanted. Yeah, and I think they play DVDs,
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: or they used to anyway.
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they still do.
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: I've still got stuff on VHS that isn't on DVD.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of it.
• 28:28
  Speaker 5: Oh, I have all of the soap opera awards from
• 28:30
  Speaker 5: 1982 to 1988, and all the Academy Awards from that
• 28:35
  Speaker 5: same time.
• 28:35
  Speaker 2: So if you just want to see Susan Lucci not
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: get an award.
• 28:39
  Speaker 5: Yeah, if you just want to see that frustration and remorse.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: But these are ones that you recorded, right?
• 28:45
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: See, I have boxes of those, too. Have you watched
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: any of them in recent years?
• 28:49
  Speaker 4: Oh, no.
• 28:50
  Speaker 5: Don't tell me they degrade.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: Okay, then.
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: Next topic. Mine look really bad. And that was on... Well,
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: and it also, it depends, because, again, the last time
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: I tried to play one of those, I played it
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: on the newest, most recent VCR I had, and those
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: got worse. Like, everything was so... computerized at that point.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: They got better, I guess. So it got so much
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: better that it didn't know how to deal with those
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: old tapes. Where if you have an old one that
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: has a knob, it seemed like it always did better
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: if you could adjust the tracking. When it got to
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: be automatic tracking adjusted, it couldn't do it a lot
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: of times. It was too smart for its own good
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: and it didn't know how.
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: To do it.
• 29:29
  Speaker 5: I just bought something to convert VHS into digital.
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: Do it really fast.
• 29:34
  Speaker 5: And I guess I need, because some of mine wouldn't play,
• 29:36
  Speaker 5: but maybe I just need. Because you use your regular
• 29:39
  Speaker 5: VCR and then play. your vcr into the computer.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah so you might see if you can find the
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: oldest functioning vcr you can with an actual knob that
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: adjusts the tracking and that's probably your best bet remember how.
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: People used to say like the cheapest ones were the
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: best for pirating because they don't bother to build in
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: the anti-piracy stuff And you could get these cheap brands
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: of VCRs and DVDs. But I was.
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: I forget what it was that I copied. And everybody said,
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: nobody can copy that. It's just sometimes the will to.
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: Take that, Macrovision.
• 30:19
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: I still have that Neil Jordan movie that they've never released.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: And they never released.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: Just enough with you. It's the only one that ever
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: really worked.
• 30:28
  Speaker 5: Wait, I don't know what that is.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: It's called The Miracle.
• 30:31
  Speaker 11: Okay.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: And it's like his little crazy fable he's always trying
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: to do, and it never really works. The one where
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: the mermaid is a drug mule or something. Okay. But
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: this one really worked, and it was really charming and beautiful,
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: and it's just disappeared from his career.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: I just saw his new one. I thought it was terrible.
• 30:53
  Speaker 5: Oh, God.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: Are you excited about this? Yeah, go ahead.
• 30:56
  Speaker 8: I don't care.
• 30:56
  Speaker 11: Oh, no, go.
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: First of all.
• 30:58
  Speaker 5: The vampire one, right?
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what I was going to say. First of all,
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: you give me your pronunciation. Because I've said it wrong.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: The way they were saying it was different. I'm like,
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: why did you name it this?
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: It's pronounced Haggis.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's his new movie, Haggis.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: And I don't know.
• 31:13
  Speaker 9: What were your issues with it?
• 31:15
  Speaker 5: God, I've almost completely forgotten it, thankfully. But I remember
• 31:19
  Speaker 5: leaving the theater and just being so frustrated because... It
• 31:22
  Speaker 5: was like a vampire movie made by somebody who'd never
• 31:26
  Speaker 5: seen a vampire movie. That's called Twilight. I guess none
• 31:32
  Speaker 5: of the characters had ever seen a vampire movie, so
• 31:34
  Speaker 5: they didn't know the limitations or the solutions or any
• 31:39
  Speaker 5: of that. It was just very frustrating to watch.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: I just felt like they rewrote a good portion of
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: the mythology, but kept enough that it still seemed like
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: they were vampires. It wasn't Twilight. Do we want to
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: bastardize the name?
• 31:51
  Speaker 5: I don't even remember what it's called.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: Byzantium?
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that sounds familiar.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: Something like that. Again, they kept saying it even different.
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: Every time I heard it, they were doing the documentary
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: stuff about it, and I was like, that's not how
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: I like it.
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: It's pronounced Geely.
• 32:05
  Speaker 4: Geely?
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, everybody go rent Geely.
• 32:07
  Speaker 5: I actually found that more watchable.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: See, I thought the performances were really good, and I
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: liked the way that they changed things. It's a very
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: different type of story.
• 32:16
  Speaker 4: It is.
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: You know, most stories you get stuck with your hero dude.
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: This one, they very specifically made this not just a
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: story about a female character, but it's two, and it's
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: the relationship of them growing up in this weird undead
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: thing where they're sisters and they're mother and daughter and
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: they're all kind of one big thing.
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: Did it have some sort of weird sex twist in
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: it like he likes to do?
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: Not overtly. I mean, she started out as being turned
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: into a whore. And then she sort of fell into
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: that and that became her trap as she became a vampire.
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: She could then continue up until modern day, lure guys
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: in by pretending to be a prostitute and then just
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: take them out.
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: That's what I would do.
• 32:58
  Speaker 5: There's this whole subplot about vampirism being a boys club
• 33:02
  Speaker 5: and she's not able to advance because she's a lady.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: So it's like Gross from Calvin and Hobbes. No girls allowed.
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: Didn't you see the sign on the clubhouse?
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: Well, his movie The Miracle is I think it was
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: in Ireland and there's this kid, his dad is a
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: jazz musician and the kid is a musician and the
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: kid is really good But the kid doesn't want to
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: play unless he's getting paid. And his dad's like, what
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: is your age? I would go out and play just
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: to play. He's like, no, what does it pay? He
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: doesn't feel like doing it. And then there's a circus
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: in the background. It's all kind of... Oh, and he
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: and his girlfriend, who is maybe not his girlfriend. Maybe
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: they're just friends. They don't know if they're just friends
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: or if they're... They don't know. But they wander around
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: the beaches and make up stories about strangers. And it's
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: like really interesting. And the circus backdrop is the perfect
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: backdrop because it's the perfect thing to capture that sense
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: of what's fun and special and exotic, but what is
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: just the most banal thing you've ever seen. And that's
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: kind of how it all is. Like the kid's not
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: really excited about music. He's very gifted, but He doesn't
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: want to do it unless somebody's paying him. It's just
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: like a chore to him. And then they don't know
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: if they really like each other. They like each other,
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: but I don't know. And then Beverly D'Angelo shows up,
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: and you've got a movie.
• 34:42
  Speaker 5: Oh, now I'm in.
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: It's a really good movie.
• 34:46
  Speaker 9: Are there vampires?
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: It turns out they're all vampires.
• 34:51
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: They start making up stories.
• 34:54
  Speaker 9: Do they listen in the sunlight as they're walking on
• 34:56
  Speaker 9: the beach?
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: Well, you know, I think what happened with vampires is
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: they used to not be able to be in the sunlight,
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: but it's like when they sprayed DDT on mosquitoes. And
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: now all the mosquitoes are DDT resistant. I think. Vampires now,
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: they just kind of get migraines. They can go out
• 35:16
  Speaker 2: in the sun, but they don't really like it, and
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: they don't tan well.
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: That's kind of how it is in this new era now.
• 35:22
  Speaker 11: Lots of sunscreens.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: See, that's evolution.
• 35:24
  Speaker 9: That wouldn't be allowed to be taught in this state.
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Get out!
• 35:29
  Speaker 4: Even like Hemlock Grove, which is like a Netflix series,
• 35:32
  Speaker 4: I mean, that's kind of what's going on, but they're
• 35:35
  Speaker 4: always out in the sunlight. So I was really confused
• 35:37
  Speaker 4: by the end of that, but I liked it.
• 35:39
  Speaker 9: It's going to get to the point where vampires don't
• 35:41
  Speaker 9: need to drink blood anymore. They're just sexy people who
• 35:44
  Speaker 9: live forever.
• 35:45
  Speaker 4: In True Blood, they don't. That's the premise. They just
• 35:48
  Speaker 4: drink synthetic blood.
• 35:50
  Speaker 3: Kool-Aid.
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: Just eat a rat every now and then.
• 35:52
  Speaker 4: I just talked about True Blood.
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry.
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: I don't know. This new one, that's one of the
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: things I thought was interesting because they go with this
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: weird mythology within the vampirism that even within the movie,
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: by the time you get to the end, you still
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: don't fully know how it works. Like, they go and
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: get turned into a vampire. And, like, I like that. Like,
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: it's this weird, mysterious island that they have to go
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: out there. And he was actually drawing on, because it
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: wasn't originally set there, and Neil Jordan moved it to
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: Ireland because he said there are all these weird folk
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: tales about vampirism that come from there. And he set
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: this weird island out off the coast that you had
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: to row to, and you go to this cave, and
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: something happens, and you're a vampire.
• 36:35
  Speaker 11: Yeah.
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: And like, it's kind of like, I just like the
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: fact that it's doing something different with it. And then, uh,
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: that you also get this take of like how they
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: each deal with it. Like again, the mother's Gemma Arterton,
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: who I really like in most stuff and is kind
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: of slowly finding her own. Again, she was in a
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: lot of bad stuff in the beginning there, but I
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: think she's really good in this and that like, she's
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: just vicious and like she is a survivor and like, well,
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: like doesn't blink at just taking people out because that's
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: how she is. She has this daughter who eternally stays
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: like 16, who does not like the idea of killing,
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: lives and travels with her mother who does it right
• 37:15
  Speaker 1: and left. But to stay alive, she has started to
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: seek out people who are near death and it becomes
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: almost this angel of death idea. And she finds people
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: that are like ready to go and she takes them out.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: And it's like, it's, it's interesting watching their, their relationship
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: and just, they do a decent job with the characters.
• 37:33
  Speaker 11: I think it's, it's, So it's kind of like his
• 37:36
  Speaker 11: other film, The Interview with the Vampire.
• 37:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah, except that.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: One's a little cheesier to me.
• 37:40
  Speaker 8: Really?
• 37:41
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: It's been a while since I've watched that. I guess
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: I should return.
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: I wish I still had that on VHS, because when
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: it came out on VHS, it had that introduction by
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: Anne Rice, which is among the most pretentious things I've
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: ever witnessed.
• 37:57
  Speaker 11: Now, I want to just see that, really.
• 37:59
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: It was so great.
• 38:01
  Speaker 4: She was talking about how she didn't think Tom Cruise
• 38:03
  Speaker 4: was right for the role.
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: No, a lot of people were complaining about that, and
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: she was trying to reassure people. But while she was
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: reassuring people that she felt that it was a good
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: treatment of the book, and it was true to the
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: intention of the book, and she knew a lot of
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: people were concerned about this. But remember, it's not just
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: about vampires. It's about us. I just wish I had that.
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: Was she in front of a fake fireplace? Was she
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: holding a really big book?
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: Sitting in a little room And.
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: Then she closed it as the camera She was like,
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: oh I didn't know you were here Well, since you're
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: here Let me tell you about them Poor.
• 38:44
  Speaker 5: Anne Rice What do you think she's doing now?
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: I think she's actually a really nice person.
• 38:53
  Speaker 11: She's become a nice person? Is that what she's doing now?
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: I've just seen a few things on the internet. She's
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: made some sort of statements about social issues. She seems
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: like an okay person. I never got into her.
• 39:05
  Speaker 9: So she's on Facebook?
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: I think so.
• 39:08
  Speaker 4: I remember she used to put her husband's... In high school,
• 39:12
  Speaker 4: I was a super duper... Or in middle school. In
• 39:15
  Speaker 4: early high school, I was a super duper annoying weird
• 39:18
  Speaker 4: Anne Rice lover. No, come on.
• 39:20
  Speaker 11: You're the geek.
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm the geek. It's the facts.
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: And mine was a different type of geek. I am
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: not one to call names and not claim it.
• 39:30
  Speaker 4: Just in the past week, I've finally come to terms
• 39:32
  Speaker 4: with the fact that I'm a huge erotic fantasy fiction fan.
• 39:37
  Speaker 11: Right on.
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: You must love this table.
• 39:40
  Speaker 4: I was like, you know, like in my mind, I
• 39:44
  Speaker 4: read like important classical literature only. But then I was
• 39:48
  Speaker 4: just like, No, this book is about, it's called Easy
• 39:51
  Speaker 4: Bake Coven.
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: Oh my god.
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: Okay, no. You're a bigger geek, I'm sorry.
• 39:59
  Speaker 4: I just remember Anne Rice used to put her husband's
• 40:01
  Speaker 4: poems in like the beginning of the book and they
• 40:03
  Speaker 4: were always like the worst poems ever. And it was
• 40:05
  Speaker 4: like so sweet because she thought they were so good
• 40:07
  Speaker 4: but they were just so bad.
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's lovely.
• 40:10
  Speaker 5: Or she was just shaming him and letting people know
• 40:13
  Speaker 5: how good her work was.
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: Millions of people read this crap now.
• 40:17
  Speaker 11: Exactly, yeah.
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: Well, I told you where that's going to lead you.
• 40:20
  Speaker 3: He does.
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: I posted a few photos of the books you're going
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: to be reading very soon.
• 40:23
  Speaker 4: I know, the dinosaur.
• 40:26
  Speaker 11: Oh my goodness, I saw those.
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: I want those. It's probably me posting them on our page.
• 40:31
  Speaker 4: I wonder if they're free on Amazon Kindle. I wonder
• 40:33
  Speaker 4: if it's an Amazon Kindle.
• 40:34
  Speaker 11: I just want a poster. Is that art? I'm so
• 40:38
  Speaker 11: glad somebody else knows about this.
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: Do you just know.
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: Triceratops.
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a lot of the getting it on with
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: the stegosaurus. This is weird, guys.
• 40:47
  Speaker 11: It's like extinct bestiality.
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: Totally hot.
• 40:50
  Speaker 4: I guess that makes it okay.
• 40:54
  Speaker 11: Well, we should probably turn this car around before it
• 40:57
  Speaker 11: goes down the scary street because I'll take it there.
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: I think I'm driving it right now. I'll bet Dino's
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: style and Doggy's style.
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: Is a lot alike when you think about it.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: Gotta watch the plates. Gotta watch the plates.
• 41:08
  Speaker 9: The tail gets in the way.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: Jeez.
• 41:13
  Speaker 11: I'm trying so hard not to do this.
• 41:15
  Speaker 9: Anyway, so.
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: Let's make a little fossil.
• 41:18
  Speaker 4: Is the movie that you're talking about Byzantium or whatever?
• 41:22
  Speaker 4: Is the director Irish or does he just have like
• 41:24
  Speaker 4: a weird... Oh, okay.
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: I don't know. He did like The Crying Game.
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: And Interview with a Vamp, stuff like that. Company of Wolves.
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: He likes his scary creatures, but it's been a while
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: since he's done one.
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: He's done some horrible comedies too, hasn't he? He did
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: that one mermaid movie. I don't even remember what the
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: hell it was. But he was trying to do that
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: fable he tries to do. And didn't he do like
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: We're No Angels remake or something like that?
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: Maybe he did. There was a remake.
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: No, maybe it was a different one though. He did
• 41:59
  Speaker 2: some sort of comedy that was horrible.
• 42:03
  Speaker 4: Speaking of mermaids, I don't know what is going on,
• 42:05
  Speaker 4: but I think they just release mermaid propaganda all over
• 42:11
  Speaker 4: the place or something like that because like my three
• 42:13
  Speaker 4: year old niece is obsessed with mermaids I don't even
• 42:15
  Speaker 4: think she's ever seen the little mermaid but it's just
• 42:18
  Speaker 4: like there's just something in commercials or something that makes
• 42:21
  Speaker 4: her like we're like Lydia what do you want to
• 42:23
  Speaker 4: eat I want to be a mermaid like all the
• 42:26
  Speaker 4: time and we don't know where she gets it from
• 42:28
  Speaker 4: it's like so weird I guess like Disney re-released the
• 42:31
  Speaker 4: little mermaid or something like that it's like commercials maybe
• 42:34
  Speaker 4: she just legitimately wants to be a mermaid.
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: My son was very small he wanted to be an
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: elephant when.
• 42:39
  Speaker 11: He grew up That's so sweet.
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: We weren't sure what he thought was going to happen. Like,
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: how is that going to work?
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: He's got to study really hard.
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: And he collected elephants. And back then at the Speed Museum,
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: they had this little thing in the kid interactive center
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: where kids could show their collections. And he sent his in,
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: and they have a questionnaire.
• 43:04
  Speaker 3: It's like.
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: And he collected little elephants. And they asked questions like,
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: how long have you been collecting these objects? And he said,
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: for a million of years. Okay, so I transcribed that.
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: And I said, what got you interested in this particular collection?
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: And he said, it's because of their tusks. That's why
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: I do it.
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: Was Anne Rice that said this?
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: Remember, it's about the tusks.
• 43:36
  Speaker 11: Yeah.
• 43:36
  Speaker 8: No, it's Anne Rice.
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: It's Bangs.
• 43:38
  Speaker 9: It was Bangs.
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: Documentaries that were hosted by Dudley Moore as Mr.
• 43:43
  Speaker 3: Spin.
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: He was a little spinning globe. And he would say,
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: now we're going to Asia. And look at this animal.
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: It's like this. And she just loved those. And one
• 43:55
  Speaker 2: of them, I think it was Adventures in Asia, we
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: rented so many times. At one time at when I
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: was renewing it at the video store, I said, can
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: I just renew this? And he looked at the history
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: and he said, man, you've paid for this so many,
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: we've got to just let you keep it now. Um,
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: but there was that. And then, uh, he had this
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: one video, uh, about Madagascar that he always called the
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: enchanted Island of Madagascar.
• 44:23
  Speaker 9: Well, you got to use the full name.
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah. But he, he wanted to be an elephant. Um,
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: probably is.
• 44:30
  Speaker 9: So what did he grow up to be?
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: He's a VCR repairman.
• 44:35
  Speaker 4: Aww.
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: But he plants little notes in each one that he does.
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: That's really cute. Leave little notes for the next generation
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: of VCR repairmen, right?
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: He just leaves a note that says, you should really upgrade.
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: And he did do We're No Angels, by the way.
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: And High Spirits, which is another Mary's.
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: And did David Mamet write the script for that?
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: For We're No Angels?
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Like, Or did he write the script for another
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: comedy remake that was horrible?
• 45:04
  Speaker 5: Wait, who's in the remake?
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: David Mamet. David Mamet. And, you know, there's some other credit.
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: De Niro and Sean Penn or something?
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: And Demi Moore, I believe.
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: Why do I even have that in my head?
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: I have seen it.
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: All the stuff that I could use, that I could
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: try to keep up here in my head. No, I
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: know that.
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: Elephants never forget.
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: I never even saw it. It's the Tusks. I just
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: saw the poster. Totally the Tusks. That's crazy. It's like
• 45:30
  Speaker 2: their external memory, right? That's crazy.
• 45:35
  Speaker 4: I don't think I ever wanted to be anything when
• 45:36
  Speaker 4: I was a kid.
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: I wanted to be Leonardo da Vinci when I was
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: a kid. That was mine.
• 45:43
  Speaker 4: My cousin Patrick wanted to be a wog truck driver.
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: I'll never forget that.
• 45:48
  Speaker 4: Or an ambulance driver.
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: An ambulance driver?
• 45:51
  Speaker 4: He actually is an ambulance driver, so it's like really weird.
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: Dreams do come true.
• 45:55
  Speaker 4: Because I thought he was going to be a serial
• 45:58
  Speaker 4: killer for a really long time.
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: Things are not mutually exclusive either.
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: That's true.
• 46:03
  Speaker 4: Definitely true. As we learned from the last movie that
• 46:06
  Speaker 4: we watched for the podcast, Eric Roberts.
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: Way to go eric i felt like we were placing
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: blame so i thought i'd just take it there yeah
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: oh well i i did see another my new holiday
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: classic for you and just this past week and you
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: may decide what ulterior motives i had but i did
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: watch getaway and um Yeah, it's a movie.
• 46:39
  Speaker 4: I heard that as getaway at first instead of getaway.
• 46:42
  Speaker 5: Getaway.
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: Getaway.
• 46:44
  Speaker 4: Like getaway.
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: Getaway.
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: It is surprisingly a Christmas movie.
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, earlier when you said it's a burrito place, I
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: thought you said it's a breeder place. I'm like, oh,
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: is that where they're all going now? You can't trust
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: those breeders. It's a new breeder hangout.
• 47:01
  Speaker 4: In my defense, I've had a double ear infection for
• 47:04
  Speaker 4: a really long time. My whole life, actually.
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: In my defense, I remember that David Mamet wrote the
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: remake of.
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: We Are No Angels and who was in it.
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: So I've got that. I'm dealing with a lot of stuff.
• 47:19
  Speaker 5: Wait, I don't know what Getaway is.
• 47:21
  Speaker 4: It sounds like it had Queen Latifah.
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: No, no, it's not Taxi. No, it is a Christmas movie.
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: I didn't know that going in, but I was like, oh, well,
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: this is very convenient. He comes home, and the Christmas
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: tree is knocked over, and they kidnapped his wife. So
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: it's a very complicated... And the tree is knocked over? Yeah,
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: and the presents.
• 47:44
  Speaker 12: You sure this isn't the sequel to It's a Wonderful
• 47:46
  Speaker 12: Life they keep talking about?
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: You won't believe it. The very last thing he finds
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: is a picture of his wife on the floor, and
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: the glass is cracked.
• 47:53
  Speaker 3: Aw.
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: They cracked the glass.
• 47:56
  Speaker 10: I know.
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: It's heartbreaking.
• 47:58
  Speaker 9: Wait, is that how the movie ends?
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: No, that's the beginning.
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay.
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: This is just the beginning. Look at this film.
• 48:03
  Speaker 5: I need to be caught up.
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: I don't know what to do right now. I don't
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: know if he just has a new mortgage now or what,
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: but Ethan Hawke is in everything now.
• 48:12
  Speaker 5: Oh, this is the one with the.
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: There's driving. The princess. There's a lot of driving.
• 48:16
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: And, yeah. And that's the thing. It's not like watching it.
• 48:21
  Speaker 9: I'm like, it's very.
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: competently made it's not bad it's very watchable it's just
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: there's not much to it like they're not trying to
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: move it to the next level here it's like very
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: specifically set up to be an action movie and that's
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: really all they're concerned about is this.
• 48:38
  Speaker 4: The one where he like steals a car and there's
• 48:39
  Speaker 4: like somebody in it.
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: And he has to hang out with her kind of
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: that's not exactly right but yes he has to hang
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: out with her yeah he isn't well she's forced to
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: hang out with him is how it.
• 48:50
  Speaker 4: Goes who is the who is the person was it like.
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: You know who it is.
• 48:54
  Speaker 4: Was it Selena Gomez?
• 48:54
  Speaker 8: Yes, it was.
• 48:55
  Speaker 4: That's what I was thinking.
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: That's why we watch this movie. Anyway.
• 49:02
  Speaker 4: Did you love it like a love song?
• 49:04
  Speaker 3: Oh, I did.
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Truthfully, that's probably the most impressive part of it,
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: if we were going to look at the plot.
• 49:15
  Speaker 4: Because that they've had selena gomez be in.
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: It the just her character because she's the only one
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: who has a clue and it really like by like
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: they even when they were talking about it spell that
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: out like our main character doesn't do anything like his
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: job within the movie is to drive a car And
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: that's what he does. And he's not the brightest dude
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: in the world because he's just like, that's all he does.
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: Like every scene is just, I have to drive. I'm
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: worried about my wife. Whatever I have to do to
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: get my wife back. And like the entire rest of
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: the plot is figured out by her. And that's the.
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: So you're saying she's bright, not that she actually has
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: a clue to where his wife is.
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: She's not connected in that way.
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: No.
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: But yes, she's the one that actually has a brain
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: and pieces together... What's going on? Then what's actually going on? So,
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: of course, there's always another crazy plot going on within
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: the plot.
• 50:09
  Speaker 5: I saw the trailer for this. Did I imagine that
• 50:11
  Speaker 5: Werner Herzog is in it?
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: You did. I think you're thinking of Jack Reacher. He's
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: the villain in Jack Reacher, and you should watch it
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: for that.
• 50:19
  Speaker 5: I actually saw Jack Reacher.
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: He's pretty awesome in Jack Reacher.
• 50:24
  Speaker 4: I slept and watched that.
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: He's quite tiny asleep.
• 50:27
  Speaker 8: Yeah. Yeah.
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: No, if you're thinking of someone and you really, like,
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: they shot his stuff in about two hours. Jon Voight
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: is the villain, if you will. And, yeah, you really
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: don't see him. You can tell he phoned this in
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: almost possibly. Maybe they showed up to shoot a couple
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: of close-ups, but a good majority of the time you
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: did not see him, so he cashed a check. But
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: it really is, like, just cobbled together out of several
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: other action movies. I mean, there's... Sounds.
• 51:01
  Speaker 4: Like Taken and Drive put together.
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: No, neither of those was my go-to. As you're watching it,
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: it's a whole lot of speed. It's a whole lot
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: of Die Hard with a Vengeance, oddly enough. It's... I
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: think what others? There's one specific main plot point that
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: is stolen straight out of speed. And I'm like, as
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: they're doing it, I'm like, you mean like in speed
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: when they do this? So I'm like, They really don't
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: even pretend like they're... I mean, they're just... You'd think
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: you'd cover it up a little bit, but no, it's very.
• 51:33
  Speaker 9: Did it need to have more Christmas content? Is that
• 51:35
  Speaker 9: what you're saying?
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: There was a good amount of Christmas. He almost runs
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: over a lot of Christmas shoppers. So that's fun. I
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: like that.
• 51:42
  Speaker 9: Was his car decorated? Like with Holly trimming on the dashboard?
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: Decorated with cameras. it is and again that's the other
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: however you decorate your tree some go with popcorn some
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: put little webcams and then put it.
• 51:58
  Speaker 9: All up the all seeing eye tree but no that's.
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: The other I mean just as speaking of the competent
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: part like the action scenes are pretty well pieced together
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: and like they do know how to shoot I.
• 52:09
  Speaker 9: Think Lucy is downloading it as we.
• 52:11
  Speaker 13: Speak that's not legal Lucy bad Lucy we don't support
• 52:16
  Speaker 13: that sort of thing But no, it's, yeah, it really is,
• 52:21
  Speaker 13: if you like seeing stuff crash, they do a lot
• 52:24
  Speaker 13: of crashing.
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: It really is like targeted towards those people that that's
• 52:28
  Speaker 1: all they want to see is a dumb movie about
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: a car driving real fast and running into stuff.
• 52:32
  Speaker 4: Can we just talk about the irony? for a second,
• 52:35
  Speaker 4: of Paul Walker dying in a car accident.
• 52:37
  Speaker 11: I was thinking, yeah, when he was going on about that,
• 52:40
  Speaker 11: that's what I was thinking.
• 52:40
  Speaker 4: Like, when I saw that, I was like, oh, ha ha,
• 52:42
  Speaker 4: that's a hilarious joke. And then I was like, oh no,
• 52:45
  Speaker 4: he's really dead.
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: Way to go, funny put on on the internet. Oh,
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: that's a real legitimate news story.
• 52:50
  Speaker 10: I don't know.
• 52:51
  Speaker 2: After the guy who invented the Segway drove one over
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: a cliff, it's hard to match the irony level.
• 52:57
  Speaker 3: It's true.
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: The guillotine. Because one of the things about those is
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: they're one of those things that two things are true
• 53:05
  Speaker 2: At the same time, although they're contradictory, because they say
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: you can't fall off of them. And once you get on,
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: you really can't. Because you just control it with how
• 53:15
  Speaker 2: you stand. You can't fall off. At the same time,
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: people fall off of them all the time. So you
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: have to take those two things together and hold them
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: in different places in your head.
• 53:28
  Speaker 4: Once I was in Chicago, in whatever park, that has
• 53:32
  Speaker 4: the bean sculpture thing and there was a gang of
• 53:34
  Speaker 4: people on segways all those.
• 53:36
  Speaker 11: Guys it's like that in DC they're everywhere there were.
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: Some vicious people on segways.
• 53:41
  Speaker 4: Only vicious people segways segway gangs are they only let
• 53:46
  Speaker 4: the most ruthless members.
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: Of society join you have to have killed you have
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: to have killed a guy on a segway to rise
• 53:54
  Speaker 2: so it's like back to the future 2.
• 53:57
  Speaker 11: With their khakis and fanny packs and.
• 54:00
  Speaker 4: Helmets yeah I can't imagine needing a helmet for a Segway.
• 54:05
  Speaker 4: Unless you're going to be, like, you anticipate being hit by, like,
• 54:07
  Speaker 4: a bus or something.
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: You know, I'm really terrible at operating controls. And one
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: night I tried to learn to play a video game.
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: And I got to where I could do the mission.
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: And the next day I couldn't do it at all.
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: Just like me. But I got on a Segway one time.
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: First time. And I thought, this is a bad idea,
• 54:25
  Speaker 2: but I'm doing it. I got on. And within minutes,
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: I was going top speed, and I was, like, filming.
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: Top speed, which is, like, three miles an hour? No,
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: they actually, you know, if you're on, like, in among people,
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: it's funny how maneuverable they are. Because you can, like,
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: crowds of people standing around who aren't watching for you,
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: you can just run right up on them and stop,
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: go to the side, go around them. And then it
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: was a white river. It was this... park that was
• 54:58
  Speaker 2: outside my daughter's college that they never told us about
• 55:00
  Speaker 2: they took us on a tour of the college never
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: said oh and there's this cheap date romance preserve like
• 55:08
  Speaker 2: right there that you might want to know about and
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: there's gondolas and shit and canals and people in paddle
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: boats and the segways and but my daughter wanted to
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: go up and see some of the things in town
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: one day before So we went up early, and she
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: wanted to go to this park, and we go to
• 55:24
  Speaker 2: the park, and we go to a restaurant, and I'm looking,
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: is that your school building right there? And it was,
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: and it's a block, but you can't see it from
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: her building, and they didn't tell us about it, that
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: there's this great park out here, and we decided to
• 55:40
  Speaker 2: do the Segway tour, and we went down the canals,
• 55:44
  Speaker 2: and then up on the bridge, over the river, and
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: then winding through these little Paths and stuff.
• 55:50
  Speaker 4: Subscribe as a proponent of the Segway.
• 55:53
  Speaker 14: Yeah.
• 55:54
  Speaker 2: They are a lot more fun than you would... Well,
• 55:56
  Speaker 2: I guess you have to have a cool place to go.
• 55:58
  Speaker 2: But if you have this vast park with all this
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: stuff and a bridge over the river, yeah, they're super fun.
• 56:07
  Speaker 2: Definitely worth it.
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: Well, maybe if you ask Santa for one.
• 56:12
  Speaker 2: And then they had... They were supposed to have them downtown,
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: but I guess they went out of business. I've seen them.
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: They do them on the bridge, like the walking bridge.
• 56:21
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah?
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: I've only seen them every once in a while, so
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: maybe they can't afford to do it much.
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: Maybe they have to drive down here with a thing
• 56:28
  Speaker 2: full of Segways.
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: That might be it.
• 56:31
  Speaker 2: Speaking of Segways.
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: Speaking of Segways, have you seen anything else? I've run
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: through my holiday festive fun. Has anyone watched anything else?
• 56:43
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 56:43
  Speaker 2: I've seen lots of stuff.
• 56:44
  Speaker 11: I watched the Salinger documentary.
• 56:46
  Speaker 5: Oh, wasn't it good?
• 56:47
  Speaker 11: Oh, my God.
• 56:48
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 56:49
  Speaker 11: I've always had, like, a huge, like, crush on them.
• 56:52
  Speaker 11: I mean, you can't get more angsty. I love angsty guys.
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: And antisocial. Right, and that's even better.
• 57:00
  Speaker 11: If they're, like, angsty and antisocial, like, I just, like,
• 57:04
  Speaker 11: have to be with them. Like, have to.
• 57:06
  Speaker 5: And if they hate women, oh, my God.
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: Uncle, I give. Can't fight it.
• 57:16
  Speaker 11: I'm a weakness now.
• 57:18
  Speaker 9: You should take this table with you.
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: Okay, I think you're going to need a minute. Does
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: somebody else need that?
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: Angsty social. That's a neat word.
• 57:28
  Speaker 5: I watched the Old Boy remake today.
• 57:31
  Speaker 2: Uh-oh.
• 57:32
  Speaker 1: The Old Boy remake?
• 57:33
  Speaker 8: Yes.
• 57:34
  Speaker 11: Reimagining. The original Old Boy, that's one of those recommend
• 57:39
  Speaker 11: for a dream movies I can never watch again.
• 57:41
  Speaker 9: That movie.
• 57:43
  Speaker 11: It fucked me up emotionally. I was like, I never
• 57:45
  Speaker 11: want to see anything like that ever again.
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: I've never seen anything again.
• 57:50
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 57:51
  Speaker 11: I don't know if you guys have all seen that movie, Wantons.
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: So how was Mr. Lee's?
• 57:58
  Speaker 11: Yeah, how was that?
• 57:59
  Speaker 5: I actually thought it was fantastic. I feel like I'm
• 58:02
  Speaker 5: sort of going out on a little bit of a
• 58:03
  Speaker 5: limb saying this. The people that I was with disagreed
• 58:06
  Speaker 5: rather vehemently.
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: You're like the counselor.
• 58:09
  Speaker 2: Come on.
• 58:10
  Speaker 9: Wave your flag high.
• 58:11
  Speaker 3: Come on.
• 58:11
  Speaker 5: I'm taking the minority position on films these days.
• 58:15
  Speaker 1: Please do.
• 58:18
  Speaker 9: You supported me in my Doctor Who love.
• 58:20
  Speaker 3: Go, girl, you go.
• 58:22
  Speaker 5: Aw, thanks for the support. Yeah, my fear was that
• 58:28
  Speaker 5: it's so hard to remake those sort of films.
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: It is.
• 58:31
  Speaker 5: Especially because so many of the Asian, you can't divorce
• 58:35
  Speaker 5: them from sort of their cultural context. And when you
• 58:38
  Speaker 5: make American versions of them, they just seem outlandish and
• 58:40
  Speaker 5: silly because... Frankly, they're outlandish and silly. And I know
• 58:45
  Speaker 5: the first experience I had with that was the first,
• 58:47
  Speaker 5: I don't know if anybody remembers, oh, I've already forgotten
• 58:49
  Speaker 5: the name of it, but the first Wong Kar Wai
• 58:52
  Speaker 5: English language film. I think his movies are just so
• 58:56
  Speaker 5: beautiful and lush and gorgeous and transcendent. And then he
• 59:00
  Speaker 5: made this movie that was just one of the worst
• 59:02
  Speaker 5: movies I've ever seen because Nora Jones was in it
• 59:04
  Speaker 5: and they were all American. And then after watching it,
• 59:08
  Speaker 5: I was like, well, wait, it wasn't really... different from
• 59:10
  Speaker 5: his other movies. Like, it was sort of the same themes,
• 59:13
  Speaker 5: and it looked the same way, and the performances were
• 59:15
  Speaker 5: sort of the same, but it just didn't make sense
• 59:17
  Speaker 5: as an American film.
• 59:18
  Speaker 1: You're blaming Nora Jones. As I want to do.
• 59:23
  Speaker 5: But I thought that Oldboy was... I mean, he went
• 59:27
  Speaker 5: someplace completely different with it.
• 59:29
  Speaker 8: Like.
• 59:30
  Speaker 5: If you're imagining a straight remake, it's not that. The
• 59:33
  Speaker 5: goals of the characters... I'm not going to do any spoilers, but.
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: I think that's the best way to do it. There's
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: a completely.
• 59:38
  Speaker 5: Different character arc and trajectory to what's happening. It's the
• 59:43
  Speaker 5: same plot points, but very different characters. It was a
• 59:46
  Speaker 5: really interesting take on.
• 59:47
  Speaker 4: It, I thought.
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: Again, he's gotten away from a really strong, identifiable style.
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: Does he do something with it visually that seems of
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: his own?
• 59:59
  Speaker 5: There's actually some obvious nods to the original.
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: You know, I don't... I don't... Visually, no.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 5: I'm not going to lie, no. But it's a solid script.
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 5: And I saw at the beginning, how long has it been?
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 5: At the beginning it says a Spike Lee film. And
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 5: I was like, oh, it's no longer a joint.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 2: It is a film.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: So I don't know how.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 5: Long that's been going.
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: Since he started remaking.
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: Some of them are joints. Some of them are films.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 2: It depends. Not every joint is a film. And vice versa.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 5: But yeah, I give it a strong recommend. It's not perfect,
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 5: but anything with Josh Brolin, you know, I told my
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 5: boyfriend going in, I was like, well, the good news is,
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 5: no matter what happens, Josh Brolin's in it.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: And we know that.
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 2: Baseline. Josh Brolin.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so there you go.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 2: I saw our friend Jess in a movie called Somebody
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 2: Up There Likes Me.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 1: Which Who, by the way, I sent a message to
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: about this specific gathering.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 8: Oh, yeah.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: I told her we were doing our holiday festivities, including Nutshees,
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: and she really needs to get herself over here.
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: Do you see her here? She's slacking off is.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 2: What I'm saying. She was charming and terrific.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 1: She's kind of like that in everything.
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 2: I'm using her mic, right? Is that what you're saying? Yeah.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 1: You're lucky you're here. If Jess would have showed up,
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: we would have bounced your ass right now.
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 2: It was a little on the thin side as a movie.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: Which one was this one?
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 2: It's the one.
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: Because she's had two or three lately that I've seen
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: trailers for, but I haven't seen most of the new ones.
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 2: Well, it's okay. It's just not.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: Is this the one with somebody getting married?
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Okay.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: Because there's also one that I think centers around a
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: kitchen that I haven't seen. It centers around a kitchen.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of crazy stuff.
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of nut cheese.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of nut cheese involved.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 4: So much nut cheese.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: It's a little time.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 10: Yeah.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 4: You know what? Making nut cheese isn't easy.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 8: I know.
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 4: You have to have a good food processor.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: Shut down.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 4: It was a lot of work.
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm fighting back so many times.
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 11: I know.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 10: I'm thinking.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 4: I'm not.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to not.
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 2: She was quite good at it. She was as she
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 2: always is. And then I saw this movie, Beeswax, which is, oh,
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 2: I can't think of the director's name now. Because you
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 2: don't know Beeswax. Yeah.
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: Mind your own business.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 2: But it's a movie with the main characters are these
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 2: twin sisters, and the actresses are twins. And that guy
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 2: who dates Shoshana in Girls is in it. And he's
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 2: quite good.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 4: I love that guy, actually.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he's really good. I think his name is Karpovsky.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: It's a Russian name, Karpovsky?
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 9: Byzantine.
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 5: Something.
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 2: But he's in it, and it's good. It's kind of
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 2: a mumblecore joint.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: Oh, it's a joint, is it?
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 2: And parts of it, there's some actually really good scenes
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 2: and some good things, but Parts of it, you can
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 2: just feel the poverty of the writing, like they just
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 2: never decided what was actually going on in a few
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 2: of the things. And so it's like, I have a
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 2: pretty high tolerance for movies like that. I don't really
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 2: think I believe in naturalism or that kind of pedestrian
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 2: naturalism as a style. It's just sometimes it's done really well.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 2: And I can watch what looks like just watching people
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 2: you know on the street doing something. And if it
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 2: turns into a movie, then it does. There are some
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: good scenes in it, but it's so long for what
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: it actually has going on in it. And one of
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 2: the main issues is the sister is afraid she's going
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 2: to be sued by her business partner. And you just
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 2: never find out what the woman's issues with her are.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 2: They have this conversation, and it's completely evasive. And it
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 2: doesn't seem like it's the tip of the iceberg. It
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 2: would take so little for them to clue you in.
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 2: You could go, oh, it's that kind of a thing.
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 2: But you have no idea what the fuck is going
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 2: on between them. And it's really frustrating. But there is
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 2: a great scene where they go and they try to pitch.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 2: Somebody else buying it halfway into the business, and it's
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 2: just got that kind of beautifully awkward conversation, and things
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 2: are lumpy, and it's really well done, but it's not
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 2: worth the investment of time for a feature length. It
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 2: should be a short story.
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 4: I watched a movie that kind of felt like that recently.
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 4: It was called Bag of Hammers.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 8: Hmm.
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 4: And it's so weird because, like, most of the stuff
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 4: happened after the credits. And then it was like there
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 4: was credits again and then more stuff happened. And I
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 4: was just like, what the fuck are you guys doing?
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 4: This is so weird.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 2: You had your chance.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 15: Yeah.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 2: If you can't make it happen.
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah, like, most of the movie happened after the credits.
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 11: The writers were hit with a bag of hammers.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 8: True.
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 4: They needed to be hit with a bag of hammers.
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 4: I mean, it was kind of a charming movie in
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 4: a way. It was sad, I guess. Like there's two
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 4: guys who steal cars. They just like steal cars from
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 4: people at funerals. Like they have a fake valet service
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 4: and people like give them the keys to the car
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 4: and they just drive them home and that's all they
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 4: do and they never get caught. So stupid. But then
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 4: their neighbor kills herself and they like kidnap her son
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 4: because they want to raise him as their own. Like
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 4: he did.
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 4: And then at first that worked out and then they
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 4: got caught and then somehow they were able to get
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 4: custody of him. And it worked out. But then it's, like,
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 4: there's credits. And then it shows them, like, living a
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 4: happy life. And that goes on for, like, five minutes.
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 4: And then there's credits again. And he's, like, going off
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 4: to college. And they're, like, almost like two gay dads,
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 4: but they weren't. But it was just so fucking weird.
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 4: I remember it having a good soundtrack, but.
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 2: It had a good beat. It was easy to dance to,
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 2: but I don't know what the fuck was going on.
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 1: I think there's a fine line with those movies.
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 8: I know.
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 4: Amanda, what's her face with the big eyes and everything. Oh, yeah.
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 4: With the boobs.
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 2: Amanda with the big eyes.
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 11: Amanda Seyfried.
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: I was going to.
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 4: Say the boobs in Mean Girls. The weather boobs.
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 1: The weather center there.
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah, so I was watching that movie, Beeswax, and
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 2: my daughter's here. She's like, where do these people live?
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 2: And does nobody wear a bra in that town? So
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 2: that was her review.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: That would probably get more people to show up than
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 1: just about anything you could write about it. I don't know,
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: but I think there really is a fine line on it.
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 1: I mean, there's a lot of movies out there, especially now.
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: Because there's so many self-funded movies, not everything is... a
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 1: big action-packed car chase all day long.
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 2: So, I don't know.
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: I think it's now come to that point of it's
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 1: almost a case-by-case basis. I mean, you can't just group
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 1: them together and say, oh, these movies are great, because
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 1: it's like you've got to have at least one, probably
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 1: a couple things that are really strong to make it
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: above and beyond the rest of the stuff that's getting made.
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 1: I mean, there's a lot of stuff that's just day-to-day
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 1: life kind of stories, but I think unless you have...
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: an amazing performance or some amazing writing or it's visually impressive. Like,
• 1:07:40
  Speaker 1: you need a couple of those put together to make it, like,
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 1: worth devoting your time to.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 4: I feel like I remember a time when I just thought, like,
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 4: indie movies were just good movies.
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 10: Because, like.
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: It used to be a good movie.
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 2: Because you're like, oh, it's going.
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 11: To be good.
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 4: It's like an indie movie. And now it's just like... It's...
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 4: I mean, there's probably a 70% chance it's going to
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 4: be really bad.
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 5: I mean, 98%.
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah, probably so. But, I mean, like, you know, it's
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 4: the only people that made those movies are people who, like, had, like,
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 4: this huge vision and they, like, worked really hard and
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 4: made it work and now people are like, oh, no,
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 4: it's a thing. We'll, like, give you money. Just do whatever.
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 1: I made it on my phone. It's okay.
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. One night I was trying to
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 2: find something just dumb and entertaining to watch and I
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 2: wound up watching Fish Tank. Fish Tank's good.
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 1: Which just is dumb.
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 2: It was glacially slow, but at least it held my interest.
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that was so good.
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 2: Whereas, you know, I was trying to find an action
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 2: picture when I set out, but that was the only
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 2: thing I could get into. And I think Michael Fassbender
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 2: was in it. Yeah, he's super cute.
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 1: He does take his shirt off several times.
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 2: And that director, too, she also did that Red Road,
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 2: which was a really striking movie. I think I talked
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 2: about that back at the previously. Lebowski Fest. I had
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 2: just seen that. She's really good. But I think I've just,
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 2: it's gotten harder for me to watch movies. Like, I
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 2: remember it used to, back in the VHS years, I
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 2: would watch movies and I would be offended because If
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 2: people didn't just sit down and fucking watch the movie.
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 2: Minute to minute, watch the movie. Don't get up.
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 1: I still kind of am.
• 1:09:27
  Speaker 2: People just wander in and out. No, if I'm going
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 2: to watch the movie, I want to see it. But
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 2: now it's so hard for me to commit the time.
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 2: And I think what spoiled me is the big miniseries things.
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 2: Because you get so far into them and you know
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 2: the characters so well. Now it's like a two-hour movie.
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 2: And a lot of it, you don't know what the
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 2: fuck's going on. It's like, did I miss something or
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 2: has it not unfolded yet? I can't tell. It's, I
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 2: don't know. I think some movies just need to be
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 2: shorter now. They need to compress them. The editing has,
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 2: because things get devalued over time. Like you get something
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 2: that's super good and all that stuff you used to
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 2: be able to watch anymore, you just start to feel
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 2: like I could be doing stuff.
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 11: That's what I always, it's hard for me because of that.
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 4: I feel the way about movies the way I feel about, like,
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 4: snack-sized candy bars. You know, like, like, I don't want
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 4: to watch a movie because it's going to take so long,
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 4: so I'm going to watch these shows, but then I'll watch, like,
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 4: Three hours of like a TV show.
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 1: I ate a whole bag of mini Milky Ways.
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 4: I'm like, I don't want to eat this whole candy bar.
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 1: God.
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 4: Then I eat like seven tiny candy bars.
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 2: The fun size.
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 11: Yeah.
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 1: It's fun, man.
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 2: Fun size. There are only a few actual ways to
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 2: measure fun. There used to be the barrel of monkeys.
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 2: And now there's the fun size.
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 4: Fun just keeps getting smaller quantities.
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 10: Yeah.
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 4: Necessary.
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 10: I don't know.
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 1: I've kind of started going the other way. I mean,
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 1: everybody's been so in this last 10, 15 years, it's
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 1: just gotten bigger and bigger, the whole TV series and
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 1: TV series that's pretty close to a movie kind of quality.
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 1: And I don't know, everybody just loves those to death now.
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 2: I do.
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 1: There are some amazing ones out there, but it's now they're, again,
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 1: they're making so many. There's a lot of times when
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 1: I see them on and I'm just like, some of
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 1: these stories don't need that much time devoted to it. Like,
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 1: you don't really need four years to tell this story. Like,
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 1: you really could probably wrap it up in two hours.
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 9: Like, I don't know.
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I think there are great series, and there are
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 1: stories that are told better over time, and you do
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 1: have characters that are worth investing years of your life in.
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 1: And then there are a lot of other shows, and
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 1: they need to just wrap it up.
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 2: It's not even that, because, like, I mean, Treme is
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 2: really good, and I watched, like, the whole season in
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 2: the last two days or something. I was waiting for
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 2: it to come out. It came out. I rented it.
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 2: Blew right through it. But you know how they sometimes
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 2: put the discs, like, in a collection, and there's, like,
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 2: a disc, a disc, and then one disc is on
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 2: the backside of the other disc? We skipped a disc,
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 2: and we watched the last two episodes. Did not notice.
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 1: LAUGHTER What does that say?
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 2: It's just like, oh, well, when did her daughter leave town?
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 2: I guess she sent her daughter out. Oh, okay. Wow.
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 1: Unplanned editing, see?
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 12: A lifetime of watching indie movies has prepped you for
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 12: getting used to weird shit.
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 2: Well, and then at the end, they start collapsing everything.
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 2: It gets very montage-y. So a lot of stuff happens
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 2: in like brief glimpses and you.
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 3: Go, oh.
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 12: Has there ever been a movie with nothing but montage?
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 12: Like from beginning to the end.
• 1:12:58
  Speaker 1: It was called the 80s. Yeah.
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 4: I do want that to be made. Kickstart that. Montage
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 4: the movie.
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 2: Make it happen. Oh, and then there should be a montage,
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 2: a documentary about making the movie and it's a montage
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 2: of people making a movie.
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 5: And there should be an homage to the montage.
• 1:13:20
  Speaker 1: It's just going to collapse upon itself.
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 4: You know, like, also, I don't, probably like three years ago,
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 4: my best friend rented the movie Dolls with my Walden
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 4: Woolley movie. card and forgot to return it for like
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 4: forever so i know wild and wooly like 50 dollars
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 4: and i dolls yeah for the movie for the fucking
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 4: good choice yeah you know and i'm not gonna pay
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 4: it because i'm not the one that didn't return it is.
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 1: Your picture up behind.
• 1:13:50
  Speaker 4: The counter okay so you know like the only way
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 4: i can get movies is from redbox which i don't
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 4: do anymore because i different friend but same thing happened
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 4: we rented the movie warm bodies and he was all
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 4: like oh i'll take this back the next day on
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 4: my way to work there's there's one right like by
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 4: where i work and i was like cool and he
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 4: never did and then he's like oh three weeks later
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 4: he's like i forgot to take warm bodies back so
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 4: it was like 30 i always end up spending like
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 4: nine dollars every single time i rent a movie at
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 4: red box at least so i'm not gonna do that
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 4: anymore so the only thing i have is netflix And
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 4: all they have is TV shows and documentaries.
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 11: Documentaries are all I watch. But I can see how
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 11: that could be, like, frustrating.
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 4: Well, my TV's really small.
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 4: So, it's like, I'm laying in bed usually when I
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 4: watch stuff, like, before I go to sleep. So, I
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 4: can't watch documentaries because it's just so hard to see stuff.
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 1: You can't read it. Yeah, I can't read it.
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 11: It's like I'm watching it on my computer and I'm, like, laying, like,
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 11: you know, 40 feet away.
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, what the hell?
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I can't.
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I watch documentaries and pretend they're movies, like mockumentaries.
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 4: Like searching for the wrong ad Jesus or something?
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 2: Well, no, I watched all the Walmart movies that way.
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 2: I just thought, this would be so much more interesting
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 2: if Walmart didn't exist. And this was just somebody's mockumentary
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 2: about all these... Like Best in Show or something.
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 1: Gosh, that's a good one.
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 2: And if you watch them that way, they're super good.
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 8: Um.
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 2: They really are. They're like genius. But you've got to
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 2: watch them all, including Playboy's Women of Walmart, which is
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 2: just a masterpiece. What's that about? Wait, did you say Playboy's?
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 9: Playboy's Women of Walmart.
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 2: Playboy's Women of Walmart. It's like the masterpiece because it
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 2: really confronts capitalism. And you have all these people who...
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 2: And also, too, if you think they're doing it as
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 2: a character, they're much more attractive than they would be
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 2: if they're just actual Walmart employees wandering around naked thinking
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 2: something's going to happen to their career. Because then they
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 2: just seem stupid. But if they're doing it as a movie,
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 2: then you think, really respect that choice wow that's that's
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 2: amazing and they just seem so much brighter and funnier
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 2: and the things they say you just think they're really attractive.
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 12: That's kind of sad though if like Walmart's getting into
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 12: porn that's just going to wreck all the mom and
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 12: pop porn.
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah super stores yeah big box store my ass the
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 1: one that was.
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 2: Pro Walmart was excellent it was called why Walmart works
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 2: and why it drives some people crazy And they got
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 2: this guy on there who's an economist, Robert Prechter. And
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 2: he was just sinister to his core. And you could
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 2: see how tempted they must have been to get James Woods.
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 2: But they thought, no, we need to go with somebody
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 2: who's unknown. Who just, he'll seem real. People will believe
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 2: him in a way you won't. Yeah, so to me,
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 2: that was like the best movie of the decade. Which
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 2: I feel that I should have a co-writing credit. Because
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 2: I'm the one who decided, okay, forget Walmart.
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 9: Exists.
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 2: And look at it, kind of like sci-fi. You know, like, okay,
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 2: box stores still exist. But just not that one. And then,
• 1:17:22
  Speaker 2: who did this project? And I thought it was probably
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 2: the Blair Witch people.
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 11: It's a total Mondo film about Walmart.
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 1: What's the.
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 11: Pixar movie Cannibal Holocaust.
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 1: Yes that's Pixar.
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 11: Yeah that's why.
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 1: You like me no it's kind of like WALL-E have
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 1: you seen their future version of WALL-E it's like exactly
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 1: that only fictionalized.
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah that was like a that was kind of that
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 4: was clever it's a bleak ass movie oh yeah that
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 4: was just like.
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 1: It's a like it's so good because it's not for
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 1: kids at all I'm like what kid could watch this
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 1: like It just, like, there's 20 minutes of, like, nothing.
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 1: And it's gorgeous to look at. But I'm just like,
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 1: what kid is going to have the patience? Like, there's
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 1: no other characters. He's roaming around a dead planet for, like,
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 1: 20 minutes or more with no real dialogue. I'm like,
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 1: how is this for children? It's just depressing. It's awesome.
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 4: It's like the short circuit of, like, the younger generation.
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 4: I just cried and cried and cried and cried.
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 11: Short circuit made me cry, too.
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 11: Especially when he's all punked out and he's bleeding on
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 11: the pavement like a frickin' junkie.
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 1: And he's like, he stabbed me.
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 11: And I was like, no.
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 1: I got lost.
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 5: Mac and me is crazy.
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 11: I wanted to watch that with my friend. He goes, Christina,
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 11: I'm not high enough for this. I was like, you
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 11: don't have to be high to enjoy mac and me.
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 11: Come on. We can do this. So soberly.
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 9: See, I thought she said mac and cheese.
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was thinking, I love that. Is it the
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 2: regular mac and me or the deluxe?
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 1: The one that comes with that liquid cheese? Because that
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 1: shit is good.
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 11: Annie's is a little rabbit logo. That's all I think about.
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 11: Good grief. It's so cute, man. It's like the cutest logo.
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 11: It's like a little Dutch rabbit.
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah?
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 1: The Annie's logo.
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 11: Macaroni and cheese?
• 1:19:09
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 11: Now we're on that subject. I like cute things.
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 9: Their version of little fish crackers.
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 2: They're really good. I'm almost 30 years old.
• 1:19:19
  Speaker 9: The Annie's rabbit crackers.
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 4: And I bought a pair of shoes that have a
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 4: puppy face on them yesterday.
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 1: I saw the picture.
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 4: Puppy faces.
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 2: I mean, they're kind of adorable, but.
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 4: They're like, I went to, that's why I went to
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 4: three different Kohl's.
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 1: I need puppy face shoes. Yeah.
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 11: Are they house slippers or are they like legit outside shoes?
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 4: Legit outside shoes.
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 8: Okay.
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:19:38
  Speaker 1: I mean, not for grown-ups. They were like $ 11. Are
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 1: they Velcro?
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 4: No, they're just like little slip-ons.
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 1: It came with a helmet.
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 11: Everything I get comes with a helmet.
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 4: It should.
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 2: My new business idea that is to, because my wife
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 2: is always, whenever we go into a store, the baby clothes,
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 2: she thinks, why don't they make that? For adults.
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 11: I want a shirt with an airplane on it.
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:19:59
  Speaker 11: Like, just an airplane.
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 1: You know? That can be arranged.
• 1:20:02
  Speaker 11: Like, that's so rad.
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 2: And so my business plan is I'm going to take
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 2: baby clothes and make them in adult sizes.
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 4: That's pretty much my whole wardrobe.
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 1: She's kind of right.
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 4: I kind of am. Like half the time I buy
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 4: clothes for my niece because I'm like.
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 1: I love this.
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 2: Yay, we can wear it.
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 4: At the same time. It's going to be awesome. I mean,
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 4: she's cooler than me. She's three and she's like way
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 4: cooler than me.
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 1: She's like, no, I don't think so. I'm not dressing
• 1:20:32
  Speaker 1: like you.
• 1:20:32
  Speaker 4: She told me on Thanksgiving, she told me to go away.
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 4: She was like, go home, Marlena. And I was like.
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 5: Guess what?
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 11: You're going in the stove right now. It's just close.
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 4: I know. I was like, why? She's like, I'm just...
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 4: I don't want you here anymore. Just go home.
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 11: The brutal honesty of children.
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 1: The babes.
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 2: Oh, you know how kind kids can be.
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 4: She walked up to her uncle and just like... He
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 4: was just sitting there like this. And she slapped him.
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 8: In the face.
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 4: She's like... And he's like totally okay with that, which
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 4: is very not.
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 1: He was still asking for it.
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 8: True.
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 1: He did something.
• 1:21:09
  Speaker 4: He just grabbed her.
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 5: He knew what he was thinking.
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 4: He grabbed her and started punching her.
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 1: That also doesn't surprise me.
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 4: Did you see the recap of.
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 1: The photo breakdown of how things happened?
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 8: God.
• 1:21:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:21:26
  Speaker 1: This seems pretty fitting for our holiday gathering, but does
• 1:21:29
  Speaker 1: anybody have any holiday-themed things to pass along?
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 11: I kind of do.
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 1: Any weird stories or complaints?
• 1:21:36
  Speaker 11: The best documentary, because that's all I watch. I could
• 1:21:38
  Speaker 11: be like your documentary expert.
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 1: We can use that.
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 11: The best one that I watched this year was My
• 1:21:43
  Speaker 11: Life as a Turkey. If you guys have not seen that,
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 11: I'm serious, watch it. It's on Netflix right now. I
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 11: think it was made by PBS.
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 1: It's called Freebirds.
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 11: It's... This guy raises a clutch of turkeys. That's all
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 11: I'm going to tell you.
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 2: Is that what they're called, a clutch?
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 11: Well, no, probably not. That's reptiles.
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 1: Gaggle?
• 1:22:04
  Speaker 7: Eggs.
• 1:22:05
  Speaker 11: He raises his little eggs. He talks to them, and
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 11: he becomes a turkey with them. And there's one part
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 11: that's so surreal. He's with these turkeys, and they're like marauders,
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 11: and they're going through this.
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 2: They do that.
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 11: Yeah, and they're all eating all these bugs or finally
• 1:22:20
  Speaker 11: these locusts and things. And he's doing it too. You
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 11: guys got to watch this movie. There's levels of depth
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 11: there that I'm not really touching on. I don't want
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 11: you to see it and be surprised like I was.
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 11: Because I like to watch animal documentaries just to chill out.
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 1: I've had a scary real world day.
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 11: I want to watch just porpoises or little birds and
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 11: marine iguanas before I go to sleep.
• 1:22:44
  Speaker 1: The downside is they're all.
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 11: Scary, too. Turkeys are cool. Did you guys know that there's, like,
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 11: 7 million turkeys now in the United States? Their population
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 11: keeps exploding. And there was, like, a news report on
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 11: NPR about, like, these turkeys attacking people. It was killing me.
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 1: It was making me laugh.
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 11: Because you hear this, like, they have, like.
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 5: Audio the kind of the police and you hear this.
• 1:23:08
  Speaker 11: One you hear these turkeys.
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 1: Like gobbling Yes It's like Tippi Hedren 2013 so are
• 1:23:12
  Speaker 1: these this huge number is it what?
• 1:23:22
  Speaker 2: Wild?
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 1: Wild turkeys. Okay, these are all wild?
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 16: Yes.
• 1:23:25
  Speaker 1: That's a lot of turkeys.
• 1:23:26
  Speaker 2: They exhibit some gang behavior.
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 11: Right.
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 1: You could see it.
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 14: I did.
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 12: You know, Benjamin Franklin wanted it to be the national bird.
• 1:23:35
  Speaker 11: I think that would have been really cool. We should
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 11: have been. I mean, eagles are really rad.
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 9: Don't get me wrong.
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 1: We're dorky and we're bullies.
• 1:23:40
  Speaker 2: They don't taste as good, I guess.
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 1: The turkeys are just cool.
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 11: Have you ever seen one in person? The males, the toms,
• 1:23:46
  Speaker 11: they've got these weird phallic growths on their head that
• 1:23:49
  Speaker 11: kind of go in and out and grow and just like,
• 1:23:52
  Speaker 11: genitals on their face.
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 1: And this is why you like them. They have it
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 1: the fair.
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 11: I guess so. I'm just a weird person.
• 1:23:59
  Speaker 1: I love things that are ugly.
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 2: You're almost going to make me tell the Waddle story.
• 1:24:02
  Speaker 11: I want you to.
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 2: I really should not tell the Waddle story.
• 1:24:04
  Speaker 11: Is it about a turkey?
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 8: No.
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 9: Is this going to freak out everybody?
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 5: No.
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 9: I don't know all of these guys.
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 3: Somebody.
• 1:24:12
  Speaker 1: Lucy should have been traumatized along.
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 5: I'm happy the turkeys are attacking people, by the way.
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 1: We've been eating them for years. I'm glad they're attacking.
• 1:24:19
  Speaker 1: I'm always that one that's like, we.
• 1:24:21
  Speaker 2: Should just move on.
• 1:24:22
  Speaker 1: When the bulls.
• 1:24:24
  Speaker 11: Gore the people in Spain, you see the bull just
• 1:24:26
  Speaker 11: throwing somebody up in the air. He's impaled them like, yes.
• 1:24:29
  Speaker 1: We may just be taken over by animals. Because there's
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 1: also that report of how many wild boars there are
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 1: now in this country. They're an invasive species. That have
• 1:24:39
  Speaker 1: become such a huge problem. Yeah. Like, more than starting
• 1:24:42
  Speaker 1: to win elections.
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 4: Humans are a huge problem.
• 1:24:44
  Speaker 1: Well, they are, but we can't get rid of them.
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 1: We keep trying.
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 11: Yeah, they brought the boars over from the old country,
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 11: and they're, like, totally invasive. They're, like, ruining things for
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 11: all the other indigenous species.
• 1:24:54
  Speaker 1: And, like, unlike a lot of animals that we just kill, like,
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 1: they put up a really good fight.
• 1:24:59
  Speaker 11: I mean, it's a boar.
• 1:24:59
  Speaker 1: So you can't, yeah, you can't just start taking them
• 1:25:02
  Speaker 1: out because they fight back.
• 1:25:03
  Speaker 4: You know, like, I've seen, there's some, I don't know,
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 4: There used to be some stupid show on, like, Discovery
• 1:25:11
  Speaker 4: or something like that about boar hunters, I think.
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 11: What happened to the Discovery Channel? Because when I was
• 1:25:16
  Speaker 11: a little kid, it was, like, the best thing ever.
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 4: Yeah, now it's just, like, Duck Dynasty.
• 1:25:19
  Speaker 11: And everything is, like, be afraid of everything all the time.
• 1:25:22
  Speaker 11: Be afraid of all the animals.
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 1: That's how you market it.
• 1:25:25
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry. Oh, no, it's okay.
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 4: But, like, I think, like, the way that you hunt
• 1:25:30
  Speaker 4: wild boar is you lay down in the brush and
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 4: let it charge at you, and you shoot it, like, accidentally.
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 4: That's what I remember from this television show that I
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 4: got in passing.
• 1:25:40
  Speaker 1: In case you guys get into that situation.
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 4: But I wonder how many people die as a result.
• 1:25:46
  Speaker 4: That's probably why, because the people that try to hunt
• 1:25:49
  Speaker 4: wild boar are just so stupid. They all get killed
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 4: because they're laying down on the ground with a shotgun
• 1:25:53
  Speaker 4: waiting for a wild pig to come charging.
• 1:25:56
  Speaker 2: And as we know from Old Yeller, you need to
• 1:25:59
  Speaker 2: be up in the tree.
• 1:26:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:26:02
  Speaker 2: The wild boar scene in Old Yeller? They got hydrophobia?
• 1:26:06
  Speaker 11: That movie's really weird and kind of traumatic.
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 2: You got fresh water? This is hung too long.
• 1:26:15
  Speaker 11: That movie... That movie's traumatizing. I watched him as a
• 1:26:22
  Speaker 11: little kid and I don't know. I remember him sewing
• 1:26:25
  Speaker 11: the dog back together with some boar hair or horse
• 1:26:28
  Speaker 11: hair or something. Did I have this? Does that make
• 1:26:30
  Speaker 11: this up?
• 1:26:30
  Speaker 5: I do this a lot.
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 1: I think that's Where the.
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 4: Wild Fern Grows.
• 1:26:33
  Speaker 1: Is it? Where the Red Fern?
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 4: You know what? Where the Red Fern Grows.
• 1:26:35
  Speaker 11: That's a disturbing movie.
• 1:26:36
  Speaker 1: That one is the one that got me.
• 1:26:37
  Speaker 2: I know, because Dave Matthews is in it.
• 1:26:39
  Speaker 4: Dan and Anne. The dogs are Dan and Anne.
• 1:26:42
  Speaker 1: He's in a lot of weird movies.
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 4: With Dave Matthews in it?
• 1:26:45
  Speaker 11: Dave Matthews, yeah, he's totally, that's true. That's so strange
• 1:26:49
  Speaker 11: on so many levels.
• 1:26:50
  Speaker 1: He's in the Winn-Dixie movie, if that helps.
• 1:26:52
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 1: And all of Adam Sandler's movies. Figure that out. Really?
• 1:26:57
  Speaker 5: Well.
• 1:26:57
  Speaker 1: All the recent ones.
• 1:26:58
  Speaker 2: It's on the same contract. The Winn-Dixie movie and all
• 1:27:02
  Speaker 2: of Adam Sandler's movies. That was like a package deal.
• 1:27:05
  Speaker 1: I don't know when his agent does.
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 4: You know, I started dating this guy recently and he
• 1:27:13
  Speaker 4: told me he likes Dave Matthews and I was like...
• 1:27:15
  Speaker 4: I think I'm going to wake up really early anyway.
• 1:27:17
  Speaker 4: But then he felt really sorry and guilty about it,
• 1:27:20
  Speaker 4: so I'm going to let it slide. Anything else like
• 1:27:23
  Speaker 4: that happens.
• 1:27:24
  Speaker 9: We're out.
• 1:27:26
  Speaker 1: Sorry. I think that's the deal breaker.
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 2: Oh, speaking of deal breakers.
• 1:27:30
  Speaker 3: Oh, God.
• 1:27:34
  Speaker 11: Waddle?
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 2: Some people were talking the other day about genital cosmetic surgery.
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 2: And they were laughing at how outlandish it was that
• 1:27:43
  Speaker 2: people were trying to sell this. Uh, that now this
• 1:27:47
  Speaker 2: is a new thing to feel bad about. And I
• 1:27:49
  Speaker 2: said that actually it just came back to me. I
• 1:27:52
  Speaker 2: do know of one actual case where genital aesthetics destroyed
• 1:28:00
  Speaker 2: a relationship.
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 11: I like this already.
• 1:28:03
  Speaker 2: And, uh, this is a place I worked. Um, And
• 1:28:07
  Speaker 2: the story was, there was this woman that worked there,
• 1:28:09
  Speaker 2: and there was this guy that worked there, and they
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 2: used to date. What happened? Well, she had, like, this
• 1:28:16
  Speaker 2: little extra fold of something at the base of her vagina.
• 1:28:23
  Speaker 2: And we were like, oh, yeah, I've seen that. We
• 1:28:25
  Speaker 2: all knew. We'd all seen it.
• 1:28:28
  Speaker 9: Oh, yeah.
• 1:28:29
  Speaker 2: And it's like, what do you call that? It's like,
• 1:28:32
  Speaker 2: you know, that George Carlin thing? Like, what do you
• 1:28:34
  Speaker 2: call this thing? this chat and it's and then of
• 1:28:38
  Speaker 2: course uh uh the felix hunger guy uh he said
• 1:28:42
  Speaker 2: that's the philtrum there's a word for that philtrum everybody
• 1:28:45
  Speaker 2: knows that it's the philtrum that's we we decided it
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 2: was the waddle um But we weren't sure. We couldn't think,
• 1:28:52
  Speaker 2: what's that thing turkeys have?
• 1:28:53
  Speaker 11: I want to know, could you help me out on this?
• 1:28:54
  Speaker 11: Because I'm not savvy. Where is this located?
• 1:28:57
  Speaker 1: Like, is this WAP?
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 2: This is the difference between being savvy and not savvy. Yes,
• 1:29:03
  Speaker 2: it's at, okay.
• 1:29:06
  Speaker 1: There's a hand signal going on for you guys.
• 1:29:08
  Speaker 3: For the audio people listening.
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 2: Okay, this is the upper part of the vagina. This
• 1:29:12
  Speaker 2: is the lower part. And there's this little extra.
• 1:29:16
  Speaker 10: Extra.
• 1:29:17
  Speaker 11: I have never seen that.
• 1:29:18
  Speaker 2: You don't look at enough porn, because that's how we
• 1:29:20
  Speaker 2: all knew it, and that is how this guy knew it.
• 1:29:23
  Speaker 9: Okay.
• 1:29:24
  Speaker 2: And so, because he was familiar with it from porn,
• 1:29:29
  Speaker 2: he thought it signified a level of... Activity? Pornish sexuality.
• 1:29:36
  Speaker 11: How is it pornish?
• 1:29:37
  Speaker 2: That was beyond his... He was... And so he broke
• 1:29:42
  Speaker 2: up with her because of this.
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 11: aspect of her is that it how long were they
• 1:29:47
  Speaker 11: together um this was years ago that's just so strange i.
• 1:29:53
  Speaker 2: Just remember vividly the conversation because we had to go
• 1:29:56
  Speaker 2: find somebody to remember what the word was for the
• 1:29:58
  Speaker 2: turkey thing we didn't know what was and oh what's
• 1:30:02
  Speaker 2: his name he'll know hey what do you call that
• 1:30:06
  Speaker 2: thing it's a waddle with t's you spell it with
• 1:30:09
  Speaker 2: t's not a not a waddle like you was a
• 1:30:11
  Speaker 2: t oh okay he knew i just called it a
• 1:30:14
  Speaker 2: gobble A gobble.
• 1:30:15
  Speaker 11: Yeah, I feel that.
• 1:30:17
  Speaker 9: So it was a bottle.
• 1:30:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so the guy broke up with this woman who
• 1:30:25
  Speaker 2: was like a really nice and intelligent person, and you
• 1:30:29
  Speaker 2: would kind of have thought maybe like, well, he was
• 1:30:33
  Speaker 2: an idiot, which you may have already pieced together. And
• 1:30:36
  Speaker 2: she got this cut off, you're saying? No.
• 1:30:38
  Speaker 1: She had the surgery?
• 1:30:39
  Speaker 2: No, it just impacted the relationship. Oh, okay. No, it
• 1:30:43
  Speaker 2: destroys it.
• 1:30:44
  Speaker 12: Because I was thinking, wouldn't it be like if it
• 1:30:45
  Speaker 12: was like Samson's hair? He gets his hair cut off
• 1:30:47
  Speaker 12: and he loses his strength. What if that had been
• 1:30:50
  Speaker 12: given her nice powers or something?
• 1:30:53
  Speaker 2: Powers of niceness? Yeah.
• 1:30:55
  Speaker 9: She turned into this evil old lady. Because she had
• 1:30:59
  Speaker 9: the clitotomy or whatever.
• 1:31:03
  Speaker 1: We don't recommend those, by the way.
• 1:31:05
  Speaker 12: Somebody Google that and tell me.
• 1:31:07
  Speaker 2: No, it's not.
• 1:31:10
  Speaker 1: Don't hit images.
• 1:31:10
  Speaker 4: There's just so many things you can't Google.
• 1:31:15
  Speaker 2: Anyway, I just thought it was a good Thanksgiving story.
• 1:31:19
  Speaker 1: The annual tradition of you telling that story.
• 1:31:22
  Speaker 2: Give thanks for your waddle.
• 1:31:24
  Speaker 4: Or your lack thereof.
• 1:31:27
  Speaker 5: Over Thanksgiving dinner, we were talking about Louisville. I was
• 1:31:32
  Speaker 5: in West Virginia and I said that I was going
• 1:31:34
  Speaker 5: to Louisville on Sunday for this podcast that I do occasionally.
• 1:31:37
  Speaker 5: And they said, what's it called? And then they had
• 1:31:39
  Speaker 5: me give them the URL so they could all listen
• 1:31:42
  Speaker 5: to it. So thank you.
• 1:31:43
  Speaker 1: Very much for that.
• 1:31:44
  Speaker 2: That's great.
• 1:31:45
  Speaker 5: And I would also like to say, there you go,
• 1:31:47
  Speaker 5: Cousin Edward.
• 1:31:47
  Speaker 2: Oh, great.
• 1:31:48
  Speaker 1: Hi, Lucy.
• 1:31:51
  Speaker 4: I still won't give my mom the name of the podcast.
• 1:31:53
  Speaker 4: It's for the best.
• 1:31:54
  Speaker 2: I tell her.
• 1:31:55
  Speaker 4: That she has to pay for it. I told her
• 1:31:57
  Speaker 4: it's like $ 10 an episode.
• 1:31:59
  Speaker 1: We'll take that, by the way. Anybody who'd like to
• 1:32:01
  Speaker 1: send that in.
• 1:32:01
  Speaker 4: I was like, you've got to pay for it. It's
• 1:32:03
  Speaker 4: on iTunes. I don't remember what it's called. She's like,
• 1:32:06
  Speaker 4: you've been part of it for years and you don't
• 1:32:07
  Speaker 4: know what it's called.
• 1:32:08
  Speaker 2: I do remember my mind racing back a little when
• 1:32:12
  Speaker 2: I suddenly realized that this was free on iTunes. Because
• 1:32:16
  Speaker 2: I had already told a few stories that I was like, what?
• 1:32:20
  Speaker 2: It was like that time when I was watching a
• 1:32:22
  Speaker 2: play and I was sort of making some sarcastic comments
• 1:32:25
  Speaker 2: about the set. And I realized that the guy I
• 1:32:28
  Speaker 2: kind of knew who was sitting next to me, I
• 1:32:30
  Speaker 2: saw his name as the director in the program.
• 1:32:32
  Speaker 16: Yikes.
• 1:32:33
  Speaker 2: And then I suddenly go, what?
• 1:32:36
  Speaker 4: Kidding.
• 1:32:38
  Speaker 2: You know, I confuse the words insipid and inspired. Actually,
• 1:32:46
  Speaker 2: what happened was my mind went blank. I could not
• 1:32:49
  Speaker 2: remember a single word I had said in the last
• 1:32:52
  Speaker 2: five minutes as soon as I saw his name.
• 1:32:54
  Speaker 3: Oh, he probably could have told you.
• 1:32:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:32:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we drifted apart from them.
• 1:33:02
  Speaker 4: I asked my friend Wendy to make me a pair
• 1:33:04
  Speaker 4: of gloves that say Fist City. And it's like only
• 1:33:07
  Speaker 4: going to be $ 10. But I thought it would take
• 1:33:11
  Speaker 4: her like a while to make them because I don't
• 1:33:13
  Speaker 4: have $ 10 right now.
• 1:33:14
  Speaker 1: Jesus.
• 1:33:17
  Speaker 2: Turns right up with it.
• 1:33:18
  Speaker 4: She just sent me a message, your gloves are ready.
• 1:33:21
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, fuck. Merry Christmas to me.
• 1:33:25
  Speaker 2: Here, I'm going to make you $ 10. It's going to
• 1:33:27
  Speaker 2: take a while.
• 1:33:28
  Speaker 4: Do you want me to break your lawn or something?
• 1:33:33
  Speaker 4: Don't you need that more than you need $ 10?
• 1:33:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this is a holiday I thought. Handmade cash adds
• 1:33:40
  Speaker 2: a personal touch.
• 1:33:45
  Speaker 1: That's what you need for this.
• 1:33:47
  Speaker 9: No, no, artisan cash.
• 1:33:50
  Speaker 2: Find us homemade money.
• 1:33:53
  Speaker 4: You know, I feel like half the world should go
• 1:33:56
  Speaker 4: back to bartering. Like, I want to barter. I want
• 1:33:58
  Speaker 4: to talk people into bartering all the time. But I
• 1:34:01
  Speaker 4: don't really have that many skills that are barterable, unfortunately.
• 1:34:04
  Speaker 11: You can make those little salt dough ornaments that dogs
• 1:34:07
  Speaker 11: like to eat.
• 1:34:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah. It's going to go down a scary road. I
• 1:34:11
  Speaker 1: think we should do that. I really do.
• 1:34:12
  Speaker 4: But bartering?
• 1:34:13
  Speaker 2: There was an artist who drew money and part of
• 1:34:16
  Speaker 2: his thing was talking people into accepting it. And that
• 1:34:20
  Speaker 2: was his whole thing. He would draw money and then
• 1:34:24
  Speaker 2: talk people in to accepting the money.
• 1:34:27
  Speaker 9: For, you know.
• 1:34:30
  Speaker 2: And I guess he did okay with it. I doubt
• 1:34:32
  Speaker 2: he made a living.
• 1:34:33
  Speaker 9: Do you make change from it?
• 1:34:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:34:36
  Speaker 4: I wonder if you can start a website or something
• 1:34:38
  Speaker 4: where you, like, barter the most ridiculous things. Like, I'll
• 1:34:42
  Speaker 4: come to your house.
• 1:34:43
  Speaker 1: Craigslist.
• 1:34:44
  Speaker 2: I'll come to your house and tap.
• 1:34:45
  Speaker 4: Dance for five minutes in exchange for a foot massage.
• 1:34:49
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure that's out there. That's out there.
• 1:34:54
  Speaker 2: It does seem like there ought to be more interesting
• 1:34:56
  Speaker 2: things on Craigslist than all the depressing stuff that you find.
• 1:35:01
  Speaker 4: These people that I work with, the guy, his wife
• 1:35:04
  Speaker 4: is pregnant, and for some reason, now that she's pregnant,
• 1:35:07
  Speaker 4: they've decided to branch out and be swingers, which just
• 1:35:10
  Speaker 4: seems like a weird time to decide that.
• 1:35:11
  Speaker 2: Oh, great, yeah.
• 1:35:13
  Speaker 1: Wait, what's their number?
• 1:35:15
  Speaker 4: So my best friend and I, they're not like.
• 1:35:21
  Speaker 4: Stinky people with, like, bad hygiene.
• 1:35:24
  Speaker 11: Right.
• 1:35:24
  Speaker 2: Never mind.
• 1:35:25
  Speaker 4: I mean, his teeth are black and, like, mostly missing.
• 1:35:27
  Speaker 3: Yikes.
• 1:35:27
  Speaker 5: And he's only, like, 25.
• 1:35:28
  Speaker 1: That's all meth.
• 1:35:30
  Speaker 2: If they're missing, but you know they're black, wherever they are,
• 1:35:34
  Speaker 2: they're in a box somewhere.
• 1:35:38
  Speaker 9: But, man, are they black.
• 1:35:39
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:35:39
  Speaker 9: How come real swingers are never, like, TV swingers?
• 1:35:43
  Speaker 1: No.
• 1:35:44
  Speaker 5: Well, they are TV swingers. They're just real sex swingers.
• 1:35:47
  Speaker 1: There's a reason I don't watch that show. Scarred for life.
• 1:35:51
  Speaker 1: I've actually never seen that.
• 1:35:53
  Speaker 9: That's a documentary.
• 1:35:55
  Speaker 1: It thinks it is. It's marketed a different way.
• 1:35:59
  Speaker 9: What's it on?
• 1:36:00
  Speaker 11: I think it was originally on HBO.
• 1:36:01
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 1:36:02
  Speaker 11: I don't think. Is this still air?
• 1:36:02
  Speaker 2: It's on the Discovery Channel. Animal cleaning.
• 1:36:05
  Speaker 11: Oh, I don't like that one.
• 1:36:07
  Speaker 1: Swinging with ducks. Man.
• 1:36:08
  Speaker 11: Oh, do you guys know about duck penises?
• 1:36:11
  Speaker 1: No. Yeah, don't have sex with ducks.
• 1:36:13
  Speaker 2: Nobody knows about them.
• 1:36:14
  Speaker 11: No, but, like, do you guys seriously know about duck penises?
• 1:36:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they're, like, hooked through penises.
• 1:36:18
  Speaker 4: They just have levered vaginas.
• 1:36:20
  Speaker 11: And they explode, like, things.
• 1:36:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:36:22
  Speaker 2: They explode things.
• 1:36:23
  Speaker 9: What do you mean they explode things?
• 1:36:25
  Speaker 11: Just look at the internet.
• 1:36:27
  Speaker 4: The only thing I know about.
• 1:36:29
  Speaker 1: Sounds like Looney Tunes.
• 1:36:31
  Speaker 11: Could you imagine Donald Duck with his scary corkscrew penis
• 1:36:36
  Speaker 11: with the barbs on it that can explode things?
• 1:36:38
  Speaker 2: He was barbed in some country because he didn't wear pants.
• 1:36:41
  Speaker 2: That's true.
• 1:36:42
  Speaker 11: With his corkscrew penis.
• 1:36:43
  Speaker 9: What do you mean explode things?
• 1:36:45
  Speaker 11: There's a really cute series that I found at my
• 1:36:48
  Speaker 11: office job where penises explode things.
• 1:36:51
  Speaker 1: It doesn't seem cute at all.
• 1:36:53
  Speaker 9: It's a cute documentary.
• 1:36:54
  Speaker 2: It's a really cute documentary.
• 1:36:55
  Speaker 11: It's like these little documentaries. They're like two minutes long,
• 1:36:59
  Speaker 11: and it's like amazing facts about the, and like insert
• 1:37:02
  Speaker 11: animal here, and I watched all of them because what
• 1:37:04
  Speaker 11: you do at office, right? One of them was about ducks,
• 1:37:06
  Speaker 11: and I did not expect this. I didn't know about
• 1:37:08
  Speaker 11: the penis.
• 1:37:09
  Speaker 2: And so when you insert the animal there, you have
• 1:37:11
  Speaker 2: to twist it.
• 1:37:12
  Speaker 11: Yeah, some of it's really funny. Some of it's true.
• 1:37:15
  Speaker 11: It's cute. Well, the duck, the exploding thing was they
• 1:37:19
  Speaker 11: had a duck, and they had a like a vial
• 1:37:23
  Speaker 11: of some sort, and I would assume that this didn't
• 1:37:24
  Speaker 11: hurt the penis of the duck, but the penis shot
• 1:37:27
  Speaker 11: down into the vial and exploded it.
• 1:37:30
  Speaker 9: That must be why they walk funny.
• 1:37:32
  Speaker 10: I don't know.
• 1:37:32
  Speaker 2: I've heard of this. It's called Duck Dynasty.
• 1:37:35
  Speaker 1: Is that what the show is?
• 1:37:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:37:37
  Speaker 11: See, okay, now it makes sense.
• 1:37:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:37:40
  Speaker 11: I picked up a part-time job at a pet store, and, like,
• 1:37:43
  Speaker 11: there was... I heard this horrible noise, and, like, there
• 1:37:47
  Speaker 11: was this, like, gigantic German shepherd that's, like, the... the
• 1:37:51
  Speaker 11: size of a Buick, just, like, barking, like, like, crazy. And, like,
• 1:37:55
  Speaker 11: I go up there, and it's, like, barking incessantly at
• 1:37:58
  Speaker 11: this picture, like, this big stand-up, this, like, bearded man,
• 1:38:01
  Speaker 11: because apparently, like, Duck Dynasty has, like, merchandise for dogs.
• 1:38:06
  Speaker 11: And this dog is just, like, barking and barking at it,
• 1:38:08
  Speaker 11: like it is, like, the incarnate of, like, evil. This
• 1:38:11
  Speaker 11: thing's got to turn it around. That's really the end
• 1:38:14
  Speaker 11: of the story.
• 1:38:14
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 1:38:15
  Speaker 2: I think that... I'm there.
• 1:38:18
  Speaker 4: But everything I know about animal sex, I learned from
• 1:38:20
  Speaker 4: Isabella Rossellini.
• 1:38:21
  Speaker 2: Look, he's out around.
• 1:38:22
  Speaker 1: I'm not familiar with this one.
• 1:38:23
  Speaker 4: Oh, God.
• 1:38:24
  Speaker 1: If you want to be.
• 1:38:24
  Speaker 2: Messed up, watch that.
• 1:38:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you'll love them. They're amazing. She dresses up like
• 1:38:27
  Speaker 4: whatever animal she's talking about. Like, my favorite one is
• 1:38:31
  Speaker 4: the bed bug.
• 1:38:31
  Speaker 8: She's, like, sitting.
• 1:38:32
  Speaker 4: She's, like, wearing a... Actually, I don't think she's dressed
• 1:38:36
  Speaker 4: up at this point. She's just sitting down, and someone
• 1:38:38
  Speaker 4: who you can only see their arm, they're, like, rubbing
• 1:38:40
  Speaker 4: a knife on her face, and.
• 1:38:41
  Speaker 16: She's, like.
• 1:38:42
  Speaker 4: What are you doing? Trying to seduce me? What am I,
• 1:38:46
  Speaker 4: a bed bug? And then it goes into this.
• 1:38:48
  Speaker 1: Oh, I heard about them stabbing.
• 1:38:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and it goes into how bed bugs mate. And
• 1:38:52
  Speaker 4: she's dressed up like a bed bug. And there's another
• 1:38:55
  Speaker 4: man dressed up as a bed bug and he's chasing her.
• 1:38:57
  Speaker 4: And he grabs her and stabs her.
• 1:39:00
  Speaker 2: People dressed up. As bedbugs are really hard to get
• 1:39:03
  Speaker 2: rid of.
• 1:39:05
  Speaker 9: So bedbugs have little knives?
• 1:39:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they do.
• 1:39:08
  Speaker 11: And the males stab the females.
• 1:39:09
  Speaker 1: That's how they procreate. Not really a way to get
• 1:39:13
  Speaker 1: it in their eyes.
• 1:39:13
  Speaker 2: Usually they're in the shower. Dead bugs.
• 1:39:17
  Speaker 11: All black and white.
• 1:39:19
  Speaker 2: Violent.
• 1:39:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but I think it was on IFC or something
• 1:39:23
  Speaker 4: like that. Maybe Sundance Channel. But it was a show
• 1:39:26
  Speaker 4: that aired for a while and there's tons of them.
• 1:39:28
  Speaker 4: There's like dolphins.
• 1:39:30
  Speaker 1: They're all... And this is why Lucy's vegan.
• 1:39:34
  Speaker 12: None of that nasty animal stuff around me, no.
• 1:39:38
  Speaker 1: Well, I think that's a good way to send people off.
• 1:39:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:39:43
  Speaker 1: Duck penises and bedbugs and knife-ings. Yeah, yeah. That makes
• 1:39:48
  Speaker 1: you think the holidays.
• 1:39:51
  Speaker 12: Send Cousin Ed to the Doctor Who episode.
• 1:39:53
  Speaker 4: Watch the turkey documentary, though, guys.
• 1:39:58
  Speaker 11: I'm serious.
• 1:39:59
  Speaker 3: Like, it.
• 1:40:00
  Speaker 11: So good. Truly.
• 1:40:04
  Speaker 3: Waddle.
• 1:40:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:40:05
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 1:40:07
  Speaker 1: Otherwise, that about does it. We will return next week,
• 1:40:10
  Speaker 1: and it might be focused in some way. We'll see.
• 1:40:14
  Speaker 1: Same geek time, same geek feed. Thanks for listening.
• 1:40:17
  Speaker 3: Waddle on.
• 1:40:18
  Speaker 1: We wish you a Merry Christmas.
• 1:40:20
  Speaker 5: We wish you a Merry Christmas.
• 1:40:22
  Speaker 4: We wish you a Merry Christmas and.
• 1:40:25
  Speaker 5: A Happy New Year. Good tidings we bring to you
• 1:40:29
  Speaker 5: and your kin.
• 1:40:30
  Speaker 6: We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
• 1:40:34
  Speaker 5: We wish you a Merry Christmas.
• 1:40:36
  Speaker 1: We wish you a Merry Christmas.
• 1:40:38
  Speaker 4: We wish you a Merry.
• 1:40:39
  Speaker 8: Christmas and a Happy New Day.
• 1:40:43
  Speaker 1: Happy New Year.
• 1:40:50
  Speaker 12: Oh, my God.
• 1:40:54
  Speaker 3: That feels so good.
• 1:40:56
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
• 1:40:57
  Speaker 10: Oh, slow down.
• 1:40:58
  Speaker 16: Oh, yeah.
• 1:40:59
  Speaker 8: Oh, yeah.
• 1:41:00
  Speaker 4: Who's your daddy?
• 1:41:01
  Speaker 7: Who's your daddy?
• 1:41:04
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 1:41:06
  Speaker 15: Oh, that feels so good.
• 1:41:08
  Speaker 3: I love it when you.
• 1:41:10
  Speaker 1: Uh-oh.
• 1:41:11
  Speaker 3: Slow down.
• 1:41:13
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
• 1:41:17
  Speaker 14: This episode is a production of Movie Meltdown, produced and
• 1:41:20
  Speaker 14: edited by The Oddity Studios, with opening music performed by
• 1:41:23
  Speaker 14: The Empires. For more on how to sponsor or support
• 1:41:26
  Speaker 14: the show, email producer at moviemeltdown.com.
• 1:41:29
  Speaker 1: Talk hard!