Latest / She's Next Level / 35: Lessons My Trip To Thailand/Bali Taught Me That Self Help Hasn't
Transcript
- Darshna Patel: Hello everybody and welcome back to the She's Next Level podcast. ⁓ my god, I missed you guys because I know last week I did an interview and then I have been gone on my trip and I have been working on getting back into schedule, into just normal life. It's so crazy when you travel for such a long period of time. I was out for two weeks and just trying to even get back to like normal life. ⁓ it feels very weird. Like if you travel, ⁓ already know what I'm talking about. But today's episode ⁓ ⁓ ⁓ honest ⁓ ⁓ ⁓ that I learned during my trip when I was in Thailand and Bali, the lessons that I learned that like honestly really woke me up and shook me to my core. ⁓ feel like I kind of have like a little bit of a what they call an ego death because it really showed me where all the inner work that I was doing, right? Like we tend to do this. We do all the energetics, all the inner work that we do, right? Like all of the self help shit means nothing until there's integration, until there's embodiment, until there's like actual experience. And so it was really interesting. Like my higher self was like, bitch. You really thought you got this, right? Let's put it into test. And I was fucking tested. I was tested, guys, like, during my trip. And I'm not gonna say it was all, like, like that. I really had a lot of fucking fun, and I'm so grateful I went on this trip. I really felt like this trip was very intuitive for me. It was definitely a trip where feel like I really got to enjoy myself way that I really wanted to. Like I haven't traveled for some time, ⁓ like of the country. It's been since 2024 when I took a Euro trip. ⁓ And I just learned a lot more about myself. And I really do feel like traveling does that for you. Like you really are out of your routine. ⁓ You like just out there exploring. And it just really gave me like a new profound love for travel that I haven't really felt before. So it was really, really cool. But I also just wanted to mention that I do have a special announcement as well at the end of this episode. You guys don't want to miss it. It's something that I am offering finally. My first offer to the world to you guys that I'm really excited to really. help you guys with so be sure to stay until the very end because I'll be announcing it then before we start, I want to do this new thing on the podcast where ⁓ actually start to share my wins every week. ⁓ do feel like every week there is ⁓ going on, something new that I learned, something that I shift. ⁓ definitely feel like this is obviously a part of my work and my life, but I've been really working on balance lately, like really balancing all areas of my life and not really ⁓ making work kind of overcompensate and especially when you're a business owner like you know when you're not working you're fucking working you're thinking about work and so I've really been working on kind of just like rebalancing all the areas of my life really pouring into all the areas of my life that matter to me and so one of the things that has caused me to really beat myself up a lot is when I don't have that balance when I'm like overly focused on one area and then I feel like I'm neglecting another area, right? How many of us have felt that way where we just feel like, you know, there's a part of us that wants to spend more time with our friends, but we're like so focused on work, right? And I get it. We all have an era and a season that we're focused on. And so sometimes it may require more time in one area of your life than others, but you do want to be conscious of that. you want it to be a conscious choice and still find a way to somehow give yourself that feeling of like connection or whatever it is that you feel when you're around your friends so that your soul isn't in imbalance. ⁓ So ⁓ I've to this thing ⁓ for some time I really feel like now is the time to start actually integrating and implementing it and want to bring it on the podcast where ⁓ I am sharing wins with you guys because a big part of my work is actually self celebration and self cheerleading. ⁓ And I really do feel like it's a really big fucking key to unconditionally loving yourself and not beating yourself up and actually feeling like you're enough by what you're doing is enough. I feel like a lot of that ties in hand in hand when like we relate a lot of us doing things to it being tied to how enough we are and how fulfilled we feel. And so this is gonna be the very first step. And so I wanna share some of my wins with you guys. And I do want to preface that the wins are also going to be the things that we perceive to be quote unquote negative of the things that we may feel like, oh, I failed at that, or like, oh, I acted up this way, and then whatever. I want you to also share that as a win. I actually want you guys to DM me as well. And I want to hear all your wins too. Because you want to pay attention to the way that you responded not the way that the outcome was when it comes to any of these situations You want to feel proud of yourself? You want to celebrate yourself and cheer yourself on? Because of the way that you showed up even if it was like you had a sassy moment and you were bitchy like you want to see the perfection and how you honored your emotions you honored yourself, and I really want to Start doing that with you guys like just start sharing all spectrums of my fucking life and like I really want to do it as a permission slip to you guys as well to really start implementing this in your life and if you do this it will change the game and how you treat yourself ⁓ and how you start see how life starts to treat you too because life is a mirror ⁓ everything is always responding your energy ⁓ so yeah some of wins that I had this week ⁓ were that Actually, yesterday, a little win that I had was that I cried like a bitch. had this like, I was working on my laptop, like, you know, working on this like, project that I'm working on for my business. And I just felt this like urge to like, cry. And I was just like, what the fuck? Like, I don't get it. And I'm trying to focus here. But I allowed it to come up and I just started crying like crazy. And all these like emotions and these feelings and these thoughts like all of this all of this started coming up for me and so I had to step aside and I gave myself like I prioritized myself in that moment and the rest of the fucking day honestly I was like I couldn't even go back to it because it was so like such an emotional wave that I felt that I just had to release that I knew it was ready to release from my body because I feel like a lot more lighter today and a lot more clear but That was a win for me that I allowed myself to honor my emotions and I allowed myself to cry and I allowed myself to not beat myself up about it. Another win was that I had been on a streak with the gym this week and I've noticed that I'm feeling a lot stronger. You guys know or don't know I've been on a cortisol reduction journey. Like I've been working on reducing the excess stress that has been causing just low energy, inflammation, hypervigilance, like all of these things. It was causing insomnia too, which it's gotten a lot better, but all of these things that were caused by excess stress in my body, I have been working on reducing it. It's definitely reducing. I've seen the percentages when I intuitively look in. It's still a work in progress, but I definitely am seeing momentum in my progress. I am seeing... these little small changes so I feel stronger in the gym and I've been able to hit my leg day and my upper body days and my solid core day. I go to solid core once a week too. On a streak and so that's been really really cool. I also have been noticing that I'm not as triggered with my parents this week at least which is great of like certain things that they're saying. I've been also prioritizing myself more so like I'm setting intentions before I do anything of what I want to get out of it. I've been doing it, I've been noticing that it's working. ⁓ I've been getting a lot of stuff done for my soul pool, which is like my soul purpose career is what I call it. even though this has been scary thing for me in all honesty, because it's so new to ⁓ it's like being on this journey. ⁓ this is like my personal brand, it's me. And so there's gonna be shit that comes up. I've still been moving forward with it. I was having some ⁓ difficulties with my intuition this week too of just tapping in and I was getting kind of in my head about it. And then I obviously reached out for support and help, which is always like totally okay. And then I got it and I started implementing some of these things. and I definitely am feeling a lot more confident again in my intuition. So it's just like, it's been really cool of like a fucking roller coaster. And I'm sure like all of us in our day to day lives, right? positive things and then quote unquote perceived negative things. But I want you guys to start celebrating how you show up. And even if you showed up in a way that you didn't. Expect to or desire to or like it was an ideal for you to want to show up that way I want you to still celebrate yourself because you're fucking alive because you were still like resilient You're still moving forward. You are learning your lessons. You are Even if you didn't fucking learn a lesson like you're still here. You're still doing the damn thing. So Anyways, just wanted to share that and I know that kind of like steered off from this episode of like what the point of this episode is, but we're gonna get into it now. Okay, so my trip to Bali in Thailand, again, was very life-changing for me. I actually ⁓ with my friends ⁓ then her friend ⁓ their group of friends. So it was like literally people ⁓ my friend that I did not know of. ⁓ that was scary for me because I was like, okay, well, this can go ⁓ ways. It can go really great. of like feeling welcomed, feeling, you know, like these are my people. And even if they weren't my people, like at least feeling comfortable in the trip to like be around people I don't know, or it can go the other way of like not feeling comfortable at all. just feeling, you know, like being in that dynamic. I'm sure if you've like traveled with a group of people before, there's like a lot that's always going on, right? Like it's a little stressful because there's so many personalities. So many people want to do different things, like it's crazy. But I felt very welcomed with the group that I met and I'm so grateful for that. Like they were super nice, super welcoming. it was two people that were single, it me and somebody else. And then everybody else was coupled up, which is totally fine because it was really cool to see how confident these women were even with like... single females around them and like we were all there was like ass shaking there was like you know all the vibes everywhere and it was like they were still confident and the men were super friendly they would treat you with respect ⁓ it was great ⁓ i would say that really liked thailand it was super fun like bangkok we went to pataya city as well ⁓ we went to pukkai i call it fuck it pukkai And Phuket is definitely more like South Beach vibes, like it's more party vibes, which is amazing. I feel like there has to be a balance for everything. And I would say Bangkok is like city city. It really reminded me of like New York City. I fucking love New York City, man. It's always gonna have a piece of my heart because I love the city. I'm a city girl. I love people. I love like exploring. I love just being around the action. Bangkok was really cool and it was really really amazing because like massages were like $10. Literally I was getting one like every other week. I was just like I can't like this is not even my My nails were like $15 This was in Bali, but it was just like I was like damn. This is so cheap. I could literally live here and be living like a queen and it was amazing. It really humbled me too in a way and it really made me feel grateful as well because I was like, wow, like I really do have it amazing. And you know, it's just, it really opens you up in that way. And then Pattaya city was cool. We went there for a water festival that is like actually a holiday in Thailand. It's called Sangram and it was really cool. Everybody's just on the street just throwing water at each other We all had water guns and we were like spraying everybody with water. It was just like water fight all day amazing fun vibes and The culture in itself is just very fun. Very uplifting very like Everybody's out there trying to have a great time, know, and everybody's super friendly too. Like I Loved it and then Bali was the same except I would say I feel like Bali was a lot cheaper than Thailand because I feel like even though they know that tourists are coming there more and more, it's becoming a lot more popular, they still charge local Bali price, which I really appreciated. And then the dollar goes so fucking long over there. It was so cheap. We literally had a private driver that we hired for driving us wherever we wanted to go for like 30 bucks for the day. That's how cheap it is. If you wanted to get a hotel, it's like 30 bucks a night or something like that, like 30, $40 a night. It's like, and it's a nice hotel on top of that. It's just amazing. And then Bali, we went to Ubud, which was more of the e-pre love vibes. It was more of the jungle vibes. ⁓ It crazy because the jungle for me, I learned about myself that it's cool. I love nature, but not that much. Like, I could do two days, max three there, because we stayed at a tree house. And if you want to check out all the photos and videos and everything visually, by the way, you can check it out on my Instagram. My Instagram is DarshVibes, D-A-R-S-H-V-I-B-E-S-S. Follow me, girl, hit me up. But we stayed at this tree house, yeah, it was just the mosquitoes for me. The thing is, is that there's fucking bugs and there's like... reptiles which we saw a lizard and I was just like freaked out because it was just like staring at me the whole time at one point and I was like what the fuck But it was cool like I live for the experience as always and I do feel like the Experiences in life really teach you more about yourself because you don't know if you're gonna like something until you fucking try it so we did that and then we went to sim and yoke which is more of a like a vibey place. It's not as vibey as Changu, which I heard, which ⁓ where all the Instagram shit you see, like where everybody goes is there. ⁓ But we to Siminyak. It's a little bit more like chill. It was very more like family friendly vibes that it was giving, but it was still really aesthetic, really nice. ⁓ And then we went Katsu, which is like right by the airport. It's like a nice like shopping area type of city. ⁓ We hit mall there. Like it was nice. I would say compare like Thailand and Bali got it with the aesthetics and your girl loves like nice vibey places. ⁓ They really got it down with that. I would say though for the food, I didn't really like Bali food. ⁓ There were like some ⁓ dry style noodles that they have which I ate and that was fine. Thailand, the food bitch. The food is... ⁓ And I live in the Bay Area right now. Like, in the Bay Area, we have all kinds of Asian food here, and it's like... Bay Area's known for their food too. But ⁓ my god. The Thailand food... Like, it was just perfection. So good. So, so, so good. Highly recommend if you love Thai food. I fucking love Thai food, so it was... I was in heaven. ⁓ But yeah, overall it was an amazing trip. We did so many things, like so many activities where I was just like exhausted by like every day we're up doing something, there was no schedule and I was just so exhausted and like I didn't really go out at night because during the day we're doing something, by the end of the night I was like done. Some of the lessons that I feel like this trip taught me that I feel like self-help hasn't really been able to deliver and here's the thing been in personal development for like nine years give or take and that's when I started my journey when I was doing Herbalife back in the day and that's where I got into like Tony Robbins, Jim Rahn, Les Brown, like all of those people, motivational speakers, Mindset work. Very surface level but like we all start somewhere, right? And then back in like 2020 that's when I had my spiritual awakening and I went through this dark night of the soul moment. And I also started learning more about feminine energy at that time and really going in that direction. And then back in 2024, that's when I dove deeper into self-image particularly and learning about identity and all of that and subconscious rewiring and getting more into that, even manifestation. That was the time where all of that was coming through for me. Like, I got the inner work, bitch. Like, it's like, I got it. Like, I get it. And this is something that I work on with healing, like day in and day out of just, honestly, to me, healing is really just becoming more of yourself and getting rid of all the shit that's been layered on top of you that isn't yours. was interesting I was working on safety. I was working on prioritizing myself and safety ⁓ I've been working for the past couple of months. And really just feeling, you know, baseline safety, apart from anything external like finances and like how where I am in life and like how people treat me, Like all this shit ⁓ doing all this energetics, And then ⁓ I to the trip, I get there and like my friend, I fucking love her. I've like known her since like Miami days when I lived in Miami at one point. ⁓ This is like back in 2021, I believe. And so, and we've like kept in touch throughout the years, but this is my first time traveling with her. And so obviously like, you don't know what you're going to expect. You're going to like learn how that person is and like what they like, what they don't like and how they are. she was a big reflection for me, a big mirror for me of like all the ways where I was not. honoring myself, like, prioritizing myself, and I was not speaking up and allowing myself to fully be myself, where I thought like, ⁓ my god, maybe I'm too much if I like say this, or if I behave in this way, or maybe I'm not like smart enough and I'm saying all the dumb things, or like I'm making corny jokes, or like saying things that, you know, they're just like... are you stupid? I, like, these were my things though. Like, these were my things that were coming up for me as they were reflecting back to me based on my energy. And this is, this could be happening subconsciously for you. Like, you may not be aware of this, but it could be happening subconsciously, and it's good that it comes up, because then you know, like, ⁓ like, this is what's going on, and then you have the ability to do something about it. But she was just really reflecting hard back to me in all the ways where I wasn't owning. myself. wasn't speaking up for my needs and I just honestly there were times where I felt really uncomfortable in the trip and even speaking up and saying something that's like you know for the sake of like the peace for everybody or for the sake of like everybody enjoying the ⁓ I don't want feel like I'm being too much or asking for too much right. How many times have we felt that way? ⁓ and we deprive ourselves for what it is that we need and then it fucks with your energy because you're not showing up in the way that people can best receive you and in the way that you truly want to so you're not actually like truly enjoying your life the way that you want to and so it was a fucking battle And like this entire trip really taught me next level of like, okay, you this level of like, feeling like you can be yourself and that you can speak up for your needs and you can feel worthy of having what you desire, of speaking up for what it is that you want, feeling worthy of being yourself and being loved for who you are, being your authentic self and feeling okay. Even in a group of random people, in my day-to-day life, I'm pretty solid with allowing myself to be myself. ⁓ great, you mastered it here? Okay, let's master it here where you actually don't give a shit about what people say and I- and that's like being in a good way, like not in a way where you're just like, fuck you, whatever, like that's an emotional place, but like actually being so rooted and grounded in who you are that you don't care if people are gonna reject you or you don't care if people are gonna not agree with you, like you're still gonna stick to you. There was a moment in time where I was just becoming agreeable just so that I could fit in. And that's crazy! Because that- nothing irks me more than that. Like, I am the one to speak my fucking opinion, right? But when I feel comfortable. But the thing is, is that my higher self wants me to feel comfortable no matter what. that is when you truly feel like you have ⁓ really embodied, the lesson ⁓ your soul, your higher self wants you to learn and it's okay. Like there's gonna be levels to it and we're always gonna be constantly growing and evolving but it was really cool to see it play out because I really thought like, girl I've been doing all this inner work, I got this, I feel so confident and then bam, we go there and it's like, you know, I'm seeing my friend every single day and I know that like with traveling, can be stress, like things can happen and ⁓ there's gonna be things that come But this was definitely like ⁓ a test for me, for sure. being able to manage my emotions, and responsible ⁓ with my emotions and like ⁓ project them on other and handle that for myself and take radical responsibility for myself in that way while also not beating myself up and like try not to like blame myself for certain things that would happen or the way that I said things and the way that people received it or you know like things not going the way that I expected and then me not speaking up about that or like me not expressing what my needs are, what my desires are, what I want to do. I was really just like going with the flow and that's really not me. Like if you know me, I will be like, hey, I have some options. yes, I really making people feel included. I love that like whole team effort and teamwork thing. But like I also, ⁓ want to make sure everyone is seen and heard and like I will say I did not feel seen and heard in my trip. I did not feel like I could really be myself. And yeah, I feel like that was like the biggest lesson that I learned and as I dive deeper into, you know, being more of your authentic self and what that looks like, what that feels like, there's so many like Integra sees within it. It's not just like be yourself and that's it it's like there's so many things that stem from like what it truly means to be your authentic self seen feel heard like allow yourself to fully ⁓ Meet you the you you know you are and like allow yourself to be her like there's so many things that come to that ⁓ Like that really truly the essence of feminine energy ⁓ And also meeting your masculine, because we all have an inner masculine in us too, and it's like honoring that side of us too. holding ourselves accountable and giving ourselves ⁓ what we need by that action. ⁓ even when I came from my trip, I was fine the next day, but then after that I had serious body aches, like all over my body, like unlike ever before. ⁓ It was so painful. And then I had diarrhea like no other and I haven't had diarrhea in forever. Like it was like every hour I was like, what the fuck? haven't shit so much in my life. couldn't even intuitively look in at that time because I was like, ⁓ so much pain. So had my friend intuitively look in for me to see like, ⁓ what is the root cause, what's going on? And she was like, yeah, you're beating yourself up ⁓ because you feel like you were traveling when you should have been working it's just interesting in like tiny ways that we don't really realize this was subconscious for me and how beating ourselves up for things that we do, the decisions that we make, ⁓ the actions that we say, the things we ⁓ the things we think, like we're constantly beating ourselves up. And for what? if you're beating yourself up, are you really allowing yourself to be your authentic self? Because like, whose approval are we fucking out here seeking for? ⁓ Like, who this was right or wrong? And that's really been a big thing for me lately of like dissecting that, like realizing, yeah, like, no, there is no right or wrong. And if someone disagrees, then... ⁓ That's for them. That's their task. That's not for me. There are nuances to that, but as I go into the law of reflections, which I don't feel like I did a podcast episode about this specifically. I know I've talked about it in some of my episodes, but I may do so because it's one of the most important laws that most people don't know about, or they just don't realize what's going on. it helps you basically figure out your obstacles so that you don't recreate and so it's really really important law and without the law of reflection like I wouldn't have figured out like why I was behaving the way that I was like ⁓ why this was coming up for me and so know a lot of it had to do with career and finances I don't want to make this podcast episode like a thousand hours because I could totally go down that rabbit I want to wrap this up I really do feel like traveling, whether you're someone that loves to travel or not. really helps you see the parts of yourself where you don't see on your day-to-day life. Like, first of all, you're not on your regular schedule, so your nervous system is not going to be like in the familiar zone of what it's used to. So it's really going to test you as far as like how safe do you feel no matter what. And I really love that because I felt like I was able to kind of take myself out of my day-to-day life and actually allow my mind and my body and just myself to like explore what else is out there that wasn't even in my awareness and allow me to open up my mind even more and expand my mind into like different possibilities and different ways of thinking like learning about different cultures, and different ways of living and I think it's so beneficial because the more you allow yourself and open yourself up to those things, like you get to learn more about yourself. Like it's really truly a self exploration journey when it comes to traveling. I also felt like traveling really showed me a lot about where like ⁓ I wasn't owning parts of myself that I thought was and that ⁓ doing inner work and energetics wasn't going to give me that. ⁓ Whereas actual embodiment, being in the experiences ⁓ and allowing myself to navigate through experiences and learning how I'm showing up, how feeling. All of that really taught me a lot more than just doing the inner work like anybody can do it. But until you're taking physical action, you're not really gonna see what's actually sticking and true knowing in your body of, no, I've through this. ⁓ So those were the biggest things. Also, one more thing that opened my eyes up for was that I want feel like I need a vacation for my life. the way I felt when I was traveling of like freedom, exploration, excitement, like all those things, it taught me that all of those feelings that I like enjoyed and I loved and I like felt the most lit up, like I want to bring them back home. It's like I want to like create that environment and vibe back home so that I don't feel like I need a vacation to feel those things again. a lot of people I feel like this happens often where they're like, I'm looking forward to vacation and not have to like, think about anything, worry about anything and just like, let myself be and like, whatever. But it's like, why not like, create that in your day to day life so that you don't feel like a disconnect there where you just feel like it's all perfect. You feel in balance. so I'm working on creating that for myself and like, really implementing that into my life and that idea of yeah, my life is just the same as traveling as it is in my day to day. I feel just as excited as traveling as I do on my day to day because I do feel like that's really gonna lead more to that happiness and fulfillment that we deeply desire and really be more in balance in our lives. ⁓ So that was another ⁓ big ⁓ lesson realization I had as well. those were like really just like the main things that I learned. I definitely to more and I definitely ⁓ would do it again. I hands down travel with a group of people that I've never known ⁓ in my life. I would do it all over again the amazing lessons that I learned about myself and I really just feel so different. Like I don't feel like I'm the same person anymore. ⁓ I feel like I have a new zest for life. I want to like live my life differently and I want to be more of myself and like allow myself to express myself more a special announcement for guys. ⁓ I have a one-on-one session framework that I'm currently testing out helping women ⁓ reducing stress in their lives ⁓ and also any symptoms that from that. like usually it shows in your hair. ⁓ whether it's hair thinning, balding, or like any hair patches, ⁓ white hair, dandruff, anything to do with your hair and any issues that you have with your hair. So ⁓ anything related to stress. with hair and then also like any symptoms that you experience. Like for me, I was experiencing insomnia. Also like it can be anxiety, it can be depression, it can be hypervigilance, which has been for me. Anything that comes as a result from stress, like any symptoms that you experience, like mental symptoms and then hair symptoms, that's what I'm gonna be helping you guys out with. So I have five spots available. for anybody that wants a free one-on-one session. This is only going to be available for a limited time. So if you are interested, send me a DM on Instagram. My Instagram is Darsh Vibes, D-A-R-S-H-V-I-B-E-S-S. Send me a DM with the word session and I will send you the next steps to get started. I'm super excited about this, guys. personally been on this journey of like shifting the white hair that I've had in my hair and then also reducing the excess stress in my body and I obviously they both go hand in hand of like ⁓ that symptom pop up for me but then also like the hyper vigilance and the insomnia that I like experienced. it has been really really cool to see the progress happening and I still have like, you know, a lot to unfold and discover because my higher self is like, you want to like master this? Like you, I'm going to give you more shit to like learn and discover and dive into so that you can really hone in on this and get it down. And so I am excited to help you guys out with it. I had one of my clients and it was just like crazy to see within like 45 days, she was able to fill up the balding patch that she had, like the hair missing, and then like to see the hair grow out naturally, and then she was like, my hair is so much better, it's more luscious, it's more beautiful, it's more soft, my curls are like doing their thing, and I was just like, interesting. So like an energetic physical protocol because you need both to manifest. ⁓ It's wild, plus the energy work I do. Things shift naturally without having to invest in expensive treatments or going to therapy. It's literally all of those things are just a from shifting the physical symptom, the benefits that you get long-term on all the other areas of your life, it is so worth it. So worth it. You feel a lot more happier. You feel a lot... more aligned and not only do you look hotter, you feel healthier and you're happier. Actually, I just realized that I can just put the application link on the description box ⁓ of episode. So just go there in the description box and fill out that application and then I'll get back to you with the next steps. DM me on Instagram. love from you guys and I also want to know what your wins are. Let's celebrate each other and let's really cheer each other I want to know what you took away from this podcast episode and any of my episodes that you may have listened to. And if you haven't done so yet, please leave me a five-star review, whether you're listening on Apple or Spotify. It really means a lot to me and it also helps the podcast get out to more women like us and really grow the community more. And I will catch you guys in the next episode. Bye.