Latest / Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design / 84 | 5 Powerful Ways to Turn Your Money Fears into Financial Confidence

Transcript

84 | 5 Powerful Ways to Turn Your Money Fears into Financial Confidence · Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design

• 0:00
  Erin Gray: Does the fear of losing money hold you back from making bold and decisive moves in your business?
• 0:06
  Erin Gray: Maybe you're like me, where you have made some investments in yourself and they haven't necessarily turned out the way that you expected them to.
• 0:13
  Erin Gray: Today, we're unpacking what that fear really is, why it's so common and how you can start really shifting into financial confidence, and by the end of this episode, you'll have practical tools to let go of some of that financial anxiety that you might be feeling and really start making empowered financial decisions.
• 0:35
  Erin Gray: Do you want to create a system to stop avoiding your money?
• 0:37
  Erin Gray: Maybe you're feeling guilt and shame when it comes to finances.
• 0:41
  Erin Gray: Welcome to your Money, your Rules.
• 0:43
  Erin Gray: I'm Erin, a former certified financial planner and CFO, and yet I used to avoid my money and had fear, no matter how much we had.
• 0:52
  Erin Gray: I can't wait to teach you how I overcame my money avoidance and started consistently managing my finances in a really simple way.
• 0:59
  Erin Gray: It's time to get comfortable with money.
• 1:01
  Erin Gray: If you're ready to stop letting fear control your financial decisions, I would love to support money.
• 1:05
  Erin Gray: If you're ready to stop letting fear control your financial decisions, I would love to support you.
• 1:07
  Erin Gray: You can head over to my website at generatealifewelllivedcom.
• 1:11
  Erin Gray: Click on the tab work with me and then support and mentoring, and you can schedule a call In a short hour.
• 1:18
  Erin Gray: We can work through some of your money mindset and you can gain such clarity and confidence to move forward in an empowered way.
• 1:28
  Erin Gray: Okay, so let's dive into really breaking down the fear of losing money.
• 1:33
  Erin Gray: I'm going to give you certain or specific examples that have happened for myself what I see in clients and also just in general women that I talk to, and why it happens, and then what you can do to start changing it.
• 1:50
  Erin Gray: So, first and foremost, I think the fear of losing money comes from some type of past experience.
• 1:58
  Erin Gray: So maybe, like I've said in the beginning, maybe you have invested in yourself and in your business and maybe it didn't turn out the way that you expected it to, and so you might be a little gun shy to invest again, because you did take that leap of faith, you did invest in yourself and you didn't get the result that you were expecting.
• 2:19
  Erin Gray: I always encourage clients when this happens, because this has happened with me multiple times over.
• 2:24
  Erin Gray: There is learning in that experience I always take.
• 2:28
  Erin Gray: What did I learn from it?
• 2:29
  Erin Gray: You know I've invested with some people that didn't necessarily it aligned at the time, but in the beginning they seemed fine, but as I got into their program, as they grew, it felt like a mismatch and I always look at it as a way of okay, how does that contrast actually help me?
• 2:49
  Erin Gray: So maybe you know you have invested in yourself, or even you know childhood beliefs.
• 2:55
  Erin Gray: You know, think about growing up.
• 2:57
  Erin Gray: What was the belief system?
• 2:59
  Erin Gray: How did your parents or your caretakers talk to you about investing money?
• 3:03
  Erin Gray: What happened?
• 3:07
  Erin Gray: You know one of the things that for me it was like mistakes cost you money and that was a belief that I really had to work through versus.
• 3:17
  Erin Gray: You know, I learned from every decision that I've made and these experiences they create subconscious money blocks that influence how we invest our money, how we save it or I like to use the word have now how we have our money and what kind of risks and investments we're willing to take.
• 3:42
  Erin Gray: So with anything, it's starting with awareness, where you don't have to, you know, go all the way back to.
• 3:50
  Erin Gray: You know I was five years old, but just get curious as to where did this fear start?
• 3:56
  Erin Gray: Did it start with maybe some stories around with your family?
• 4:00
  Erin Gray: Did you actually make an investment and you got reprimanded.
• 4:04
  Erin Gray: Or maybe maybe you know, even when you were younger, you it doesn't necessarily have to be, um, a money investment that you made, right.
• 4:12
  Erin Gray: It could be something as simple as you wanted to try to do soccer, and then you ended up not liking it and your parents were like, well, you have to stay with it.
• 4:19
  Erin Gray: So it was almost this you're going to pay for your mistakes mentality, and that's not necessarily what our parents are trying to teach us, but that, that belief of, oh, if I make an investment, if I take a risk, that that I have to live with this decision, and then just start noticing, as you make different money decisions, are they based on facts and data or are they driving you from an emotional place?
• 4:51
  Erin Gray: Are you investing from fear, or are you investing from expansion and growth and abundance, or is it based more so in scarcity or fear, more so in scarcity or fear?
• 5:11
  Erin Gray: The thing with fear, though, is it does keep us stuck and it limits our growth.
• 5:13
  Erin Gray: So when we are either avoiding financial decisions maybe we're playing small in our business we know that there's an investment that we need to make or want to make to help us grow, but we're not making that decision, then we are continuing to play small in our business and it can also show up, like it has for me, of hoarding money right, holding onto money too tightly, because you have that fear of look at how it's turned out before.
• 5:43
  Erin Gray: It's almost like you have this evidence that has been built up of like look at how it hasn't worked out for me versus look at all of the things that have.
• 5:52
  Erin Gray: And when we continue to make decisions from a fear-based place, they stop us from investing in ourselves and investing in opportunities that could grow your business, could grow your wealth, and start looking at it as the decision of shifting from that scarcity mindset to more of one of sufficiency.
• 6:22
  Erin Gray: I know that the self-development and the money world talks about.
• 6:26
  Erin Gray: You know scarcity to abundance, but I really like to go from scarcity to sufficiency and trusting that you always have had money, it always has shown up when it needs to and really start taking steps and taking those leaps of faith from that place of trust, of growth, of sufficiency.
• 6:50
  Erin Gray: Also, tracking your finances is going to start really helping you gain more clarity.
• 6:55
  Erin Gray: I know that in a couple episodes back I think it was maybe 81 or 82, I talked about avoiding your money.
• 7:02
  Erin Gray: And it's kind of like you know when you were a kid and the big scary monster that we thought was either underneath our bed or under or in our closet, and we just wouldn't look at it.
• 7:12
  Erin Gray: And then that idea just became bigger and bigger and bigger.
• 7:16
  Erin Gray: Versus having the courage to look underneath your bed or look in your closet, aka look at your numbers, look at where you are.
• 7:25
  Erin Gray: Even if you don't necessarily like where you are, you do gain clarity and I think that the fear gets exacerbated because we stay in the unknown and then that just creates more fear and then we stay in the unknown more right?
• 7:39
  Erin Gray: So start tracking your finances whether it be with an Excel spreadsheet in your business or using QuickBooks or some budget software that you like to use for your personal life but start tracking it and start taking time to sit down and look at where is your money going, where is it coming from.
• 8:02
  Erin Gray: Sit down and look at where is your money going, where is it coming from.
• 8:10
  Erin Gray: The third point is, like I already mentioned, is reframing.
• 8:12
  Erin Gray: If you have made any type of investment, reframing that investment instead of it's a loss or a mistake.
• 8:15
  Erin Gray: A lot of times people will say I've made these mistakes I just was having this conversation with our daughter last night is that I don't want her to look at decisions that she's made as a mistake I just was having this conversation with our daughter last night is that I don't want her to look at decisions that she's made as a mistake.
• 8:26
  Erin Gray: I want her to look at it as lessons learned, and that is the reframe that I've had to look at decisions that I made.
• 8:35
  Erin Gray: Maybe they haven't been.
• 8:36
  Erin Gray: I haven't gotten the result that I thought I was going to get with an investment, but I have gained.
• 8:42
  Erin Gray: What did I get out of it?
• 8:45
  Erin Gray: What did I learn from that?
• 8:46
  Erin Gray: Because, number one, then you're able to not repeat that cycle again and you're also able to get more clear when you do and when you are ready to make another investment in yourself, what you are looking for and what you are not looking for.
• 9:04
  Erin Gray: You know, every entrepreneur and investor has experienced financial setbacks, like I don't know anybody who has ever been in business, who hasn't, who.
• 9:14
  Erin Gray: They would say that they haven't necessarily.
• 9:16
  Erin Gray: You know, in air quotes, made a bad investment.
• 9:18
  Erin Gray: Right, but it's what we do with that decision, it's what we think about.
• 9:23
  Erin Gray: That is what actually decides where our ship is going to go right.
• 9:27
  Erin Gray: We can either beat ourselves up over it we can feel a lot of regret and shame or we can look at it from a place of what did we learn and what are we going to do differently next time?
• 9:38
  Erin Gray: I also want to say you know that I think we need to slow down the buying process.
• 9:44
  Erin Gray: I think investing in ourselves is absolutely part of being an entrepreneur and evolving and growing.
• 9:52
  Erin Gray: We do need help as we grow our business right, and who better to learn from than people that have already done it?
• 10:00
  Erin Gray: It speeds up time and saves money.
• 10:04
  Erin Gray: And also, I think sometimes we are purchasing things that maybe we're investing in ourselves in ways that you know.
• 10:16
  Erin Gray: When you, when you slow down the buying process and you ask yourself why are you doing this, you really get to find clarity as to why are you trying to solve a problem and is that problem you're trying to solve?
• 10:30
  Erin Gray: Is this actually the answer?
• 10:32
  Erin Gray: Or are you trying to solve a different problem and you're just trying to throw spaghetti at the wall?
• 10:37
  Erin Gray: And the only way that we know which answer that is is if we actually slow down and in you know today's business world of like flash sales and you know percentages off and hurry up and buy now and countdown timers and you know black Friday sales.
• 10:57
  Erin Gray: We can sometimes get caught up in that arena and one of the things that I've really had to do is slow down and really trust and ride my wave and recognizing that for me, depending on the amount of money, the decision, sometimes it is actually longer than what I expect it to be.
• 11:22
  Erin Gray: If the decision is $5,000, it might take me several weeks and that's okay.
• 11:29
  Erin Gray: And I think that when you actually do, when you start to slow down, when you actually get and gain more clarity as to why you're investing in something and are you really committed, that's the other thing.
• 11:42
  Erin Gray: Are you committed to finishing it and seeing it through, or is this just another shiny object that we're doing?
• 11:49
  Erin Gray: When you start asking yourself those questions, when you start slowing down, you really get to gain a lot of clarity and see what are you willing to do and also, is that investment the best investment for you at this time?
• 12:07
  Erin Gray: The fourth tip that I have is, you know, building up a safety net to reduce some of that fear I have noticed with women and I think that this is probably true for humanity.
• 12:23
  Erin Gray: But it seems when I talk to women, the language that we use is sometimes a little different than what men use.
• 12:30
  Erin Gray: We do use words like safety and security and I know men use those words too but there is this underlying thread that if we have some extra cash, that we feel a little bit more secure and I'm not going to go into in this episode about you know, like keeping gobs of cash in the bank, because the bank just turns around and uses your money.
• 12:56
  Erin Gray: But I do think for every person you have to see and ask yourself what is, what is your number for you that feels good.
• 13:06
  Erin Gray: When we don't have you know, people will call it an emergency account, which I don't agree with that language, because when we have emergency accounts, we're literally telling ourselves and the universe that, like there's an emergency, that's going to happen.
• 13:21
  Erin Gray: I think that having you know, having a having account, is what I call it right, or another colleague of mine calls it you know, a rainy day fund.
• 13:30
  Erin Gray: So whatever you want to call it, but think about when you're, when you're calling it that and when you are embodying having that money.
• 13:48
  Erin Gray: Are you having it because you are scared or are you having it because a woman who takes care of her money is prepared right.
• 13:51
  Erin Gray: That's a very different energy than I have to have this money because I feel so much fear versus I have this money because I may want to make an investment at some point or I may want to be able to use this if X, y, z, and.
• 14:05
  Erin Gray: And just really getting clear on the energy of having that money and when you have a plan in place, when you have some funds in the bank right, your nervous system, your brain is able to feel safer and I think you're able to think more clearly, make different decisions and more confident money decisions, because that survival need isn't so pressing.
• 14:36
  Erin Gray: So having that account where you both in your personal and in your business, so that you have that buffer and I think the number is going to be different for everyone but just really getting clear on how many months of expenses feels good for you and really asking yourself you know, whatever that number is, is that because it's coming from fear or is that become?
• 15:01
  Erin Gray: That's coming from this feels good to have this amount of money and it feels expansive.
• 15:07
  Erin Gray: And then the last tip that I would say, which I always talk about, is taking small, consistent actions.
• 15:15
  Erin Gray: So, so, overcoming your money fear isn't about making huge leaps, and I think that the personal development world loves to talk about quantum leaping and huge overnight success, but what I have found for myself to be true and for clients is to be simple, to be consistent, because you are becoming the person that takes care of her money.
• 15:43
  Erin Gray: You are becoming the person that is confident with her decisions, and that doesn't happen when you do it sometimes and when you don't do it other times.
• 15:53
  Erin Gray: I would much rather you improve at 1% versus making these huge jumps and then going back down and then going back up.
• 16:04
  Erin Gray: So, really, what are the consistent steps that you can do and you can take every single day, every single week, because those add up to the months, to the years?
• 16:17
  Erin Gray: So, what is one financial decision today that you can take without overthinking, whether that be looking at your books on a daily basis or looking at your bank account, or sitting down and actually calculating what are my monthly expenses in my personal life and do that I have that amount of money in an account so that I can be prepared if I want to invest and just to have that money.
• 16:47
  Erin Gray: And if you make up the number, you know you.
• 16:52
  Erin Gray: You get to the number and you're like the brain, you know, wants to start to tell you like how is that ever going to happen?
• 16:57
  Erin Gray: Or whatever.
• 16:57
  Erin Gray: Just start small, start automatically.
• 17:01
  Erin Gray: You know drafting what you can into an account and start that consistent, because I think we are like little kids, we do need that pat on the back.
• 17:14
  Erin Gray: And when you see that money go into that account every single week and you start to see it build up, you start building confidence in yourself.
• 17:25
  Erin Gray: Okay, so to recap, fear of losing money might come from past experiences, whether that be you've invested in yourself and it didn't go the way you wanted it to, or your childhood experiences.
• 17:36
  Erin Gray: Fear keeps you stuck in that scarcity mode.
• 17:40
  Erin Gray: So shifting to sufficiency really starts to get your mind and your body opening up to different opportunities.
• 17:50
  Erin Gray: You know reframing any type of investments that you made, not as a loss, but what did you learn from it?
• 17:57
  Erin Gray: What did you gain?
• 17:58
  Erin Gray: How has that helped you become the business woman that you are now Building up?
• 18:04
  Erin Gray: Financial security helps reduce anxiety.
• 18:07
  Erin Gray: So how much do you want to keep in your having account?
• 18:10
  Erin Gray: What amount does that equal in your monthly expenses, whether it be personal and or business and then taking small, consistent steps daily, weekly, monthly, yearly.
• 18:24
  Erin Gray: Right, we don't become that person overnight.
• 18:27
  Erin Gray: It happens one small step at a time, one day at a time.
• 18:32
  Erin Gray: That I really believe is the key to long-term financial confidence.
• 18:38
  Erin Gray: So I want to leave you with you know, where is fear holding you back from making empowered financial decisions?
• 18:45
  Erin Gray: And what's one small step that you can do today to challenge that fear that you have around money?
• 18:54
  Erin Gray: And if you're ready to break free from the fears around money that you've been having and you want to feel financially confident, you can head over to my website at generatealifewelllivedcom.
• 19:06
  Erin Gray: As always, thank you for listening, for tuning in and for sharing your time with me Until next time.
• 19:12
  Erin Gray: Did you learn something today?
• 19:13
  Erin Gray: Do you know another female entrepreneur who might be avoiding her money?
• 19:17
  Erin Gray: Will you send this episode over to her for me, and, if you have it in you, please leave me a review for this podcast.
• 19:25
  Erin Gray: It helps the show grow and I love hearing from you.
• 19:28
  Erin Gray: See you next week.