Latest / The Frostworn Oath / Ep. 12 - One Poor Decision and Stupid Choices

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Ep. 12 - One Poor Decision and Stupid Choices · The Frostworn Oath

• 0:10
  Before we jump back into the frozen chaos of the Frost One
• 0:13
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• 1:02
  Yeah, but the real question is which one gives you advantage on
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  initiative? So CJ, what exactly?
• 1:11
  How do we use this discount that we got?
• 1:14
  Well, it's easy. You just go to W dot GG.
• 1:18
  That's what it is, WW dot GG and at checkout enter the code noise
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  plate 20. That's NOSEPLAY 20 at checkout,
• 1:29
  all caps. It gets 10% off your purchase.
• 1:32
  Boom. It's all from the grandpa's
• 1:38
  denture Water. That's the next one we're going
• 1:41
  to try. I cannot wait.
• 1:42
  I've already submitted the order.
• 2:02
  From broken time, from shattered faith, from dumb decisions and
• 2:09
  worst ice rolls. We are the Frostwire.
• 2:19
  Can we fucking rig? Rig Nothing.
• 2:52
  Those scars stood by a tree like a brood and damn ghost we broke
• 2:57
  vanished quicker. That little shit's toast tracks
• 3:01
  in the dirt, blood, pain in the ground, goblin guts everywhere.
• 3:07
  We will come in town or itchy stomps and like who the hell
• 3:12
  died? Brought a haze rolling up just
• 3:15
  driving inside. They follow the trail like a bad
• 3:20
  damn choice. Then whistle cuts through
• 3:23
  David's voice. Oh shit, yeah, you know that
• 3:27
  tone. That's the everything's fucked.
• 3:31
  You're not alone. It's a fuck around cave and they
• 3:37
  found out. Stealing blood and a gobbling
• 3:42
  shout barely owes down and the arts look grim.
• 3:47
  But they ain't done yet. They ain't done with them.
• 3:51
  Swing it hard, take the hit and save the breath.
• 3:55
  This whole damn cave smells like this.
• 4:03
  Dara steps up like a badass queen drop 6 gobbles black
• 4:09
  nighty night. Same see.
• 4:11
  She whispers. Boom lights out.
• 4:15
  Half the damn cave took a four snap proud.
• 4:18
  But oh, here comes trouble, ugly and loud.
• 5:22
  I do buy. Smoke in the air.
• 5:24
  Chaos multiply. What the boss let's loose that
• 5:28
  nightmare house shakes Meleo's bones, makes hay safe out.
• 5:34
  It's hard, like a punch to the throat.
• 5:38
  Now it's survival. Sink or float, don't blow.
• 5:43
  No time to think. Blood on the boots and still on
• 5:47
  the brain. Still stand in, barely hear a
• 6:03
  shot, broken and battered but still in the fight, teeth bare
• 6:09
  wide in the torch slide. No damn victory, no clean, and
• 6:14
  just one more swing with the lies we spend.
• 6:18
  So raise a mouth to the who's in the fray, still kicking ass for
• 6:25
  another damn day. Crisp.
• 6:36
  That was good. My my like egg caught outbursts
• 6:39
  I guess. That's the That's the first time
• 6:41
  in three episodes where they've been.
• 6:45
  Now it's going. With that, I know, I know.
• 6:47
  I started listening to it last night while I was fucking and
• 6:51
  then like, and then all of a sudden it's just like an
• 6:53
  onslaught of clapping after I finished a quest and I was like,
• 6:55
  oh, thanks. Oh, is.
• 6:59
  That the deck, yeah, of many things.
• 7:02
  What? That's no.
• 7:03
  That's at my house. It's just my other dice
• 7:06
  container, my Arizona tease. Oh, can.
• 7:09
  You give me a Coke, can I? Also get one.
• 7:11
  Oh yeah. Yeah, wait, I have an idea.
• 7:14
  Gonna give me a black one. Pick one cheese wisely.
• 7:19
  The right the right pick, the right no.
• 7:23
  Those are the electronics. There's a sink right over.
• 7:26
  There. Yeah, do it in the sink.
• 7:28
  Seriously. The sink.
• 7:31
  Land in the sink, Land in the sink.
• 7:33
  The sink. He chose her right?
• 7:36
  Don't. Put.
• 7:38
  That back in there. It's yours, man.
• 7:41
  It'll be calm by the time change.
• 7:45
  This episode of The Frost Worn Off is also brought to you by
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• 7:50
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• 8:35
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• 8:45
  And what's that promo code there, CJ?
• 8:50
  The promo code is noise plate 20.
• 8:53
  That's NOSEPLAY 20 at check out all caps Boom.
• 8:59
  My brain stroked out while trying to think of how to spell
• 9:02
  that. It's all from the Blueberry
• 9:03
  Space Jam. Blueberry Spaceship's a wild
• 9:05
  name. Sounds less like a drink and
• 9:07
  more like a spell of wizard accidentally invented.
• 9:11
  That's the next one we're going to try.
• 9:12
  I cannot wait. OK.
• 9:22
  Welcome back to the podcast, guys.
• 9:25
  Oh. No, I haven't thought of a fun
• 9:28
  fact. Oh no.
• 9:31
  Either no. All right, so let's go around
• 9:33
  the table. CJ, what's your fun fact
• 9:35
  tonight? Hi, my name is CJ I play the
• 9:38
  character Father Ostrich. Fun fact about Father ostrich,
• 9:41
  he might be a little shredded under that robe.
• 9:45
  I'm talking full on 8 pack. He's a hot old man.
• 9:51
  Yeah, it's in the fridge. No, the keg is in the fridge.
• 9:56
  Miggy. Oh yes, hello, it is I Miguel
• 10:00
  from the said shout outs and a new member and player brother
• 10:04
  Hayes. And today for brother Hayes is
• 10:08
  fact. I didn't really think of one,
• 10:10
  but I think I haven't said this one.
• 10:12
  I hope I haven't. Brother.
• 10:14
  Hayes's type of woman is a strong woman.
• 10:17
  I'm talking the barmaid that threw out the barbarian type of
• 10:20
  woman. Any woman like that comes across
• 10:23
  him like he will fold fashion and paper.
• 10:27
  Yeah, salvage of G mod, No clipping.
• 10:30
  Father. That is exactly what happened.
• 10:32
  Father, Brother Hayes. Did you have way more way more
• 10:35
  willpower than Vallejo? Vallejo just folds for women.
• 10:39
  It just has to be his type. Vallejo sees a female gelatinous
• 10:43
  cube and he's like, pretty much. To be fair, he's not.
• 10:47
  As long as this woman and it has ABS, it's pretty much his game.
• 10:51
  Vallejo's type of female is I'm female.
• 10:55
  This type. Of female is a pulse sometimes.
• 11:00
  That's crazy. What about you there?
• 11:02
  Mr. Bolsky, what's? Up as y'all know I'm Trent.
• 11:05
  Been here for a while. Yeah, I know y'all are tired of
• 11:08
  me. Since day one.
• 11:10
  Does not you? We.
• 11:11
  Love you, We love you. Love you.
• 11:12
  Thank you. Where's the clapping?
• 11:14
  Well, yeah. Yeah.
• 11:16
  Yeah, anyways, anyways. Were you trying to tell us
• 11:20
  something when you killed in that way?
• 11:21
  Huh. What about in that way?
• 11:23
  What about in that way? I did not kill.
• 11:26
  CJ why are you rubbing your nipples?
• 11:28
  I'm not. Could be.
• 11:29
  He was. Anyways, he was.
• 11:31
  Fun fact about Volscar. He is.
• 11:34
  He likes to eat the things and Father Ostrich's pockets.
• 11:39
  He's been eating sand for like the last three days straight.
• 11:43
  Fucking sand. What's his opinion on the sand?
• 11:46
  Grainy. Grainy.
• 11:49
  Yeah. Coarse, Coarse.
• 11:54
  Crunchy. All right, Mr. Knock, knock.
• 11:58
  Knocking on Death's door over there.
• 12:00
  Who's this guy? Who's this one?
• 12:02
  It's our reckless action hero Vallejo, ready to give you the
• 12:05
  fun fact that Father Auster Hari spilled some of one of my wives
• 12:10
  was a zombie. All that shit.
• 12:15
  By zombie he just meets some poor innocent person that was
• 12:18
  dug up. I'll crack it.
• 12:22
  You see the keyword there is was.
• 12:25
  Was was what happened? They died, got resurrected,
• 12:29
  married, Vallejo killed themselves.
• 12:30
  Yeah. I mean, yeah, kind of.
• 12:34
  Oh gosh. It was the whiskey that did it.
• 12:37
  Vallejo was played by a Danish black guy.
• 12:39
  He's our token. The artist formerly known as
• 12:42
  Nanaway fell down. Now he's broken.
• 12:44
  Technically he's not a token anymore because we have a
• 12:46
  Mexican on the show. Wait wait, wait wait.
• 12:48
  Also isn't it token now? All right, Mrs. Professional
• 12:54
  Gaslighter. It's Martin Dodaira's fun fact.
• 12:58
  Dodaira Dodaira. In case you didn't know, Dodaira
• 13:03
  actually can viciously throw it back.
• 13:05
  Major twerking skills. If you check out the Norse play
• 13:08
  TikTok you can actually see her doing that.
• 13:11
  That is true. That is true in front.
• 13:13
  Of. In front of ostrich.
• 13:15
  Ostrich. Throws a bag.
• 13:18
  Better. Yeah, Yeah.
• 13:19
  Yeah, you're not wrong. He's no longer with.
• 13:23
  No, not always. Didn't take the cake.
• 13:24
  He was the cake. He's with us and always was.
• 13:26
  The whole fucking bakery. You.
• 13:29
  Got to remember Osprey and always still with you.
• 13:32
  You always will be. In my heart.
• 13:36
  No, in that Dick. That's one of my favorite things
• 13:43
  CJ does every every episode. Well, you kind of cut that out.
• 13:47
  Y'all say some shit that has to get cut out sometimes?
• 13:50
  Cutting things out give me my burgers cramps I.
• 13:52
  Almost left in a full thing in episode 10.
• 13:54
  Then I was and then my daughter and my wife heard it and they
• 13:58
  were like, yeah, you, you need to take that.
• 14:00
  I was like. Oh yeah.
• 14:05
  I'm pretty sure I said you got to take that, yeah.
• 14:07
  You did. You did?
• 14:08
  Yeah, and I did. Like immediately.
• 14:10
  Your wife and daughter like he has a point.
• 14:14
  Your daughter, who is how old, said you should take it.
• 14:17
  None. Well.
• 14:19
  In in In her sweet, innocent defense, she doesn't believe
• 14:22
  that you should be mean to anyone.
• 14:24
  My daughter's a Dick. Look, I I love my daughter.
• 14:30
  She's asshole to people. You don't care what you fucking
• 14:33
  feel like. Jeez.
• 14:35
  So who remembers what what transpired?
• 14:38
  Who wants to do that little recap?
• 14:39
  I'm dying. We're dying.
• 14:43
  I. Think they were dying.
• 14:45
  They were dying. We're finding a bunch.
• 14:47
  Of scars standing strong, this one's standing strong.
• 14:50
  We're both scars. Standing strong with his Dome.
• 14:52
  We're finding a bunch of goblins in cave Greece didn't do what I
• 14:55
  thought it did. No, I'm going to fuck.
• 14:57
  Yeah, hey man, I'm pretty sure everyone's fucked here.
• 14:59
  Pre lubed and deep cubed. I can hear Barbara singing to me
• 15:03
  again. We just read the same things
• 15:06
  when you said what you said. We made him later.
• 15:08
  We just both went. What did you say?
• 15:11
  I said pre Lube, deep viewed and ready to go.
• 15:15
  I feel like that's OK. They do say the dildo of
• 15:17
  consequences never arrives lubed.
• 15:21
  That was hard. If you've ever played Doug
• 15:24
  Souls, you know that it's like getting fucked by a sandpaper
• 15:27
  dildo. Shut out Chase.
• 15:30
  Shut out Chase. Shout out Chase letting us play
• 15:33
  at his store and everything. We love him, he's cool, he's
• 15:35
  great. Store's called Next Life Games.
• 15:37
  Next life. Games.
• 15:38
  He keeps us in the closet. Yeah, he's got Jackson County.
• 15:42
  Jackson. What the fuck charged?
• 15:50
  Me a dollar and 99, sorry. It was me.
• 15:59
  Oh my God, that sounded. Really.
• 16:00
  Convincing. I want to hear convention.
• 16:04
  OK. We gotta take that out.
• 16:06
  That's. What it was?
• 16:06
  What? You mean take that out?
• 16:08
  That's what it was, That's what it.
• 16:09
  Was it's a guy doing it, so it's woke.
• 16:13
  Yeah, you gotta take that out now.
• 16:17
  We got a gay guy. It's OK if you make gay jokes.
• 16:19
  Yeah, that's fine. Hey, dude, he gave us the OK.
• 16:21
  We have the G code. We have the G code.
• 16:23
  All we need is an Asian dude and we're gold.
• 16:25
  We got to cut that. Out we should I?
• 16:27
  We we need, we need an Indian too.
• 16:29
  You're. Not Indian, I am.
• 16:31
  German. Irish.
• 16:32
  Puerto Rican. Sioux.
• 16:33
  Indian. How?
• 16:34
  What's the percentage? Enough.
• 16:36
  I don't know in the 17. If you're look at me obviously
• 16:39
  enough. Man, I said in episode.
• 16:43
  One you need some red. Paint.
• 16:44
  I don't know, I, I, I'm not, I'm not a.
• 16:45
  Feather dot not. I'm not red dot.
• 16:48
  Oh no, that's Native American. Yeah.
• 16:49
  We're talking about the red dot. I'm not talking about red dot,
• 16:52
  I'm talking about. No, yeah, I'm talking about, I'm
• 16:53
  talking about Indian. I'm not talking about Native
• 16:55
  American BPC. Hey, how old are you?
• 16:59
  How? I'm sorry, PC principle.
• 17:00
  We're just some white guys over here thinking we found a land of
• 17:03
  spice. Indian Indian food is spicy that
• 17:08
  should go high. I love me some Indian food.
• 17:11
  For real though, my wife hates it.
• 17:13
  You know what? Actually, there is Cherokee in
• 17:14
  there too, because we came over from France in the 1730s.
• 17:17
  That's still Native American. I know, but.
• 17:20
  It's a different brand. I never claimed red dot.
• 17:23
  Yeah, but that's where I was talking.
• 17:24
  All right, so we got to get my little brother on here.
• 17:27
  Indian China Mint. Peekaboo, your brother's Asian.
• 17:30
  Yeah, one of my adoptive brothers.
• 17:31
  Is there? What about he's my goalie?
• 17:34
  Oh, Howie, who's? Japanese.
• 17:37
  I'm not going to say that. Say it.
• 17:45
  No. No, no, I'm going.
• 17:46
  To say it, but you're going to have to cut it down.
• 17:48
  I was going. To say, hey, hey, we're live.
• 17:50
  We're live. Don't.
• 17:51
  Say it, but. He's right though, anyone would.
• 17:53
  Cancel. Black guy, Danish guy, got a gay
• 17:56
  guy, got a mutt. Full like a full blown mutt.
• 18:00
  I'm Jewish. Jewish.
• 18:02
  I got the Jewish of me. We got the Jewish code.
• 18:05
  We got a Mexican, we got a little person we've got.
• 18:10
  A. He's Native American and
• 18:16
  Mexican. Native American.
• 18:20
  You should have said country bumpkin.
• 18:22
  He's got camo pants on and he drives a big old.
• 18:30
  Where my wife? Beater my dog.
• 18:34
  My wife beater my PBR. Where my weed eater?
• 18:40
  Got a goat, you said? A weed eater.
• 18:43
  A weed eater. That's what a goat is.
• 18:49
  Don't make that nose. Father Austric.
• 18:51
  Good. It's your turn.
• 18:52
  Oh fuck. Goodness.
• 18:54
  Everybody. Dying.
• 18:55
  I got this. We wouldn't say Cave.
• 18:57
  Got into a fire with a bunch of goblins.
• 18:58
  Father Austria tried to use grease and didn't work the way
• 19:00
  he thought it would. Now him and Valet are on.
• 19:02
  That's the door. We met a new guy.
• 19:04
  His name's Brother Hayes. Hello.
• 19:07
  And And it reaches here too. And things aren't looking good.
• 19:11
  Yeah, they're really not. But do not worry, brother Hayes
• 19:14
  is here. Everyone knows you.
• 19:15
  He's what happened. To him.
• 19:17
  There was a fire. Rook is dead.
• 19:18
  Yeah, Rook is dead. Oh yeah.
• 19:22
  Womp womp. Out of game I'm just going to
• 19:24
  stay. Rook is dead if y'all don't save
• 19:26
  him. I in game I'm just dating.
• 19:28
  I don't think any of us are saving him considering the fact
• 19:32
  he got us in the situation. To be fair, all I know is that
• 19:36
  they don't like him and there might be something else, so
• 19:38
  maybe going to revive him isn't my priority.
• 19:42
  He got us here, he can die here. OK, so Father Ostrich is gonna
• 19:47
  be stunned. Which one?
• 19:48
  Oh yeah, I am stunned. He can't do anything.
• 19:51
  How long does it last for? One round, I'm pretty sure.
• 19:54
  Yeah, but you have shield of faith.
• 19:56
  I do have shield of faith, which my AC means it's plus.
• 19:59
  Oh let me check here. I think +2.
• 20:01
  For stunned we can't do anything.
• 20:03
  Skips our turn. You can't make saves.
• 20:06
  So Roslin boss stunned you, right?
• 20:08
  No, no, stunned. Me, I stunned us whenever I
• 20:10
  tried to shoot this guy in the face.
• 20:12
  Oh yeah. But yeah, so after, so after
• 20:15
  this turn, you're good, Yes. Into turn after. 10 minutes.
• 20:19
  Plus, where am I? I'm confused.
• 20:22
  You're the only lady on the board.
• 20:25
  That one. Which?
• 20:27
  Which bad guy? Bad guy.
• 20:29
  Right there and right there, OK. Because one of them is David's
• 20:34
  friend now. They are just adopting party
• 20:36
  members. On Father Ostrich Stone, he's
• 20:39
  going. To go.
• 20:44
  And that's my time. Next up is Orici.
• 20:49
  Orici stabs me in the back. Orici, you bitch.
• 20:54
  Orechi is going to go around the side, he runs up at the goblin.
• 20:57
  It's already been injured by its ally that Dera has fucked around
• 21:01
  with and found out. Well played young padawan.
• 21:05
  There it is. Orechi comes around the side of
• 21:08
  Griff and comes up on one of the goblins cleaving down with his
• 21:13
  axe, opening him up from neck and shoulder, and just a huge
• 21:18
  gash forms where you see bone and flesh and yeah.
• 21:22
  I can't say a fucking thing and it.
• 21:24
  Dies, obviously. That's how.
• 21:26
  That's what happens when you that happens to you.
• 21:28
  Is it? I'd imagine so.
• 21:30
  I wouldn't want to be alive, but I'd fight through it.
• 21:34
  I wouldn't. Want to be alive but.
• 21:35
  Yeah, like I keep going. Goblin Boss gets to his feet and
• 21:38
  he is going to circle around the left side of his buddy.
• 21:41
  There he moves around and comes forward, heading for Volsky.
• 21:46
  I mean. He's still 5 feet away, but
• 21:47
  that's. Still.
• 21:48
  Taking me when mainly rain. Does a 16 hit you?
• 21:52
  No. Yes it does.
• 21:55
  Swings at you leave, opening up a gash along your haunches and
• 22:03
  you take 8 damage. Halved.
• 22:05
  Where are you? 3 damage.
• 22:07
  Why did you say half? You're raging, Dave.
• 22:10
  Room, Dave. Room alright mate, that.
• 22:12
  Was dead Dave Room. I think we got to take care of
• 22:15
  this last Copeland and Roy in our immediate area.
• 22:20
  John, you're controlling it. What did I tell it?
• 22:22
  I forget. You can.
• 22:24
  You can make it do stuff. Didn't I already use a command
• 22:28
  on it? I already did.
• 22:30
  Yeah, that's right. That's right.
• 22:31
  It only works. Yeah, you got to do it again per
• 22:33
  round. What did I even say to it?
• 22:34
  I forget. You just said attack and you
• 22:37
  pointed at your buddy. Yeah, I can't, I can't cast it
• 22:41
  again, right. It's it's so many per.
• 22:43
  Yeah, it should. I believe it's two MP points, if
• 22:47
  not 3. What what I'm going to do is I'm
• 22:49
  going to use my my dual sided spear and I'm going to attack.
• 22:54
  So that's you don't need. Bonus to the second attack,
• 22:56
  that's all. Yeah, so 2D6 right?
• 22:58
  Is that where you're Greedo? Yes, yes, I'm going to slash one
• 23:03
  side of the spear and slash with other.
• 23:05
  So let me run my D20. The big fat miss is what it is.
• 23:12
  Did you get single digit? See if you get with a second
• 23:16
  swing. OK, second swing.
• 23:19
  Even worse. Maybe you should stop spinning
• 23:21
  it. Yeah, because when you spin it,
• 23:22
  it doesn't roll. Yeah, what'd you get?
• 23:27
  A lot. OK, I'm taking away the spins.
• 23:30
  OK, she. Got the spins.
• 23:32
  Man, in that case 19. That's a hit.
• 23:35
  And I have to do it twice, right?
• 23:37
  No, I'm only giving you one back.
• 23:39
  The first one or the second one? The first yes I wrote net 20.
• 23:43
  OK, let me grab a six. I am that much fun. 7th Saval
• 23:49
  Damash. Slash into him.
• 23:51
  Real good. Real good.
• 23:53
  Good. Still standing and it's his turn
• 23:56
  is. He going to go for the guy that
• 23:57
  just tried to shoot him in the fucking head.
• 23:59
  The. Guy that stabbed him.
• 24:01
  Truthfully, we'll roll for it. One and three is Vallejo 2 and 4
• 24:07
  is Dera. I want to put myself in this
• 24:10
  situation. It's an 18 to hit.
• 24:14
  Who do you hit? Four damage.
• 24:18
  To who? The goblin sees a momentarily
• 24:21
  disoriented Cap wearing Feller and stabs him in the ribs.
• 24:28
  The goblin stabs a. Vallejo in the ribs.
• 24:29
  No, Vallejo, No not. Again.
• 24:32
  For four damage what? 8 damage because it's not a
• 24:35
  crit. 8 damage and if I does Vallejo drop?
• 24:38
  Yeah. Like 10.
• 24:40
  No dude, I was at 3. I healed him up and then he took
• 24:43
  the damage again. Backed.
• 24:44
  All the way down. I'm at 10.
• 24:46
  He's down again, but he's not dead.
• 24:47
  I'm not dead. Next up it's the Goblin by
• 24:50
  Volskar that's a hit. Or is it?
• 24:57
  There's a 17 on the die for four damage halved to two.
• 25:04
  The other goblin by Volskar, 17 on the die four damage half to
• 25:13
  two. So OK so I have two 4 damaged.
• 25:16
  You have taken 4 damage and then the last goblin far into the
• 25:20
  back. Who's he going for?
• 25:22
  Not me, please. Not again.
• 25:24
  That's racist. What are you rolling?
• 25:27
  Dice idiot. Fuck.
• 25:32
  You fuck you. OK, that's mean.
• 25:34
  Why you? You too, so much.
• 25:37
  I love you so much. Bro did not like anyone.
• 25:41
  Well, I'm sorry. I think Dan is playing a TPK.
• 25:45
  Isn't his AC like? What?
• 25:49
  Are you rolling dice, idiot? Fuck you, why are you on?
• 25:54
  One tonight, Dan. I'm sorry, what?
• 25:56
  I didn't hear anything you said overseas.
• 25:58
  I said, why are you on one? Did you get a wax recently?
• 26:04
  Anthony. You must have been rolling real
• 26:06
  good. I got 17 on the die twice to hit
• 26:09
  him. I don't like smooth Anthony.
• 26:15
  I don't. Like smooth.
• 26:16
  Anthony, Hello. So the other goblin is going to
• 26:19
  run past Volscar into the crowd. He can only move up to here.
• 26:24
  There's one. Oh, the oh right.
• 26:25
  Wrong because. OK, so he's no, he's just going
• 26:27
  to move this. One scar.
• 26:28
  Yeah, because he was right here. I moved him up to because I
• 26:30
  figured he was going. Oh, OK, sure.
• 26:33
  Haft movement. This is bad He.
• 26:34
  Can move up to here. This is bad for Olvalski.
• 26:39
  Oh, wow, that's perfect. That's perfect.
• 26:41
  What the? It's like an English.
• 26:45
  Ear to headphone ratio if. Anything.
• 26:48
  I'm the English teacher, he said.
• 26:51
  You see here in this passage here.
• 26:52
  Does a 15 hit you? No.
• 26:54
  He said here in this passage, the door's red because that
• 26:57
  represents the blood of all of the people he's killed.
• 27:00
  It means the door. 'S red.
• 27:04
  Now. You take another two damage,
• 27:07
  three attacks. He's taken 6 damage.
• 27:09
  Battle. Why?
• 27:10
  Because they were all right there next to you.
• 27:12
  So far, Valeo, it's your turn. Oh boy, what?
• 27:15
  Was my last 22. Eight, you're stunned.
• 27:18
  You took 6. I'm down the last two.
• 27:21
  The last hit was 4, so you took two damage from it, so 246.
• 27:24
  That's the fail. Why did you do that?
• 27:28
  That hurt me. Rolling again.
• 27:30
  Maybe we'll get a not one. Stop it.
• 27:34
  Griff, it's your turn. Hey, wait, Dan.
• 27:36
  Thanks. Dan, can you hear this?
• 27:41
  Yeah. Don't worry, it's only metal.
• 27:46
  Griff, seeing everything going on and seeing Volscar
• 27:50
  surrounded, runs up. He just looks at you first,
• 27:53
  Father Austric. I'm going to go see if I can
• 27:55
  help Volscar. All right, I did.
• 28:00
  And he goes to go save his brother in army.
• 28:03
  Griff runs up, swinging the hooked cutlass of his beloved.
• 28:07
  Not that way. Right on the scar.
• 28:12
  And he rolls in that 10. No.
• 28:16
  Roll it. Confirm.
• 28:19
  I'm going to assume yeah, he went to swing and hit the wall
• 28:21
  of The Cave. That's.
• 28:22
  What I'm that's what I'm. You know, like in Skyrim.
• 28:27
  Griff runs us Bosco. I got you mate and just.
• 28:34
  Like the first episode in Goblin.
• 28:36
  I know, literally just clings off the freaking top of The
• 28:40
  Cave. Just Stalag tight or something.
• 28:42
  Stalag tight Stalagmite Griff, you fucking sound.
• 28:46
  I don't fucking know, rocks. He's no Henry.
• 28:50
  Oak, Henry Oak. Don't you do Daddy's check him
• 28:56
  out and just whiffs his attack horribly.
• 29:02
  Brother Hayes, it is your turn. Finally.
• 29:04
  Talking to your pumpkin. Tits.
• 29:07
  Well, let us see. Father Hayes.
• 29:09
  Brother Ostrich. Father, Brother.
• 29:11
  Ostrich Hayes. Are y'all married?
• 29:14
  Hayes, Rick. He.
• 29:15
  Wishes. I wish.
• 29:26
  All right, let me see here. Let me see.
• 29:28
  All right, so I have a dying dude.
• 29:29
  OK. An old.
• 29:31
  You're unconscious. An old man who's bleeding out.
• 29:35
  Digging deeper. Just to throw it away.
• 29:37
  He's still alive. Sorry, I'm bleeding now.
• 29:40
  I'm David. All right, Pete Chester.
• 29:44
  We doing 5 feet per square. Yeah, 5 feet per square.
• 29:46
  So you have a movement of 30 or 2530 thirty.
• 29:51
  Shout out to Ricci, you killed some wife.
• 29:54
  There. I don't think that will provoke
• 29:55
  opportunity to attack. Well no.
• 29:56
  OK, I'm good. I I.
• 29:58
  If you move, if you move away from that big dude right there,
• 30:00
  it will. No, brother.
• 30:02
  Brother Hayes sees Volscar isn't a tight situation, so he thinks
• 30:07
  he might be able to help a little bit.
• 30:09
  He'll whip out his crossbow that he missed one shot last time.
• 30:14
  Absolute mess. Did you reload it?
• 30:16
  Oh no it's not God Dang it. I would have to reload it.
• 30:20
  Father, Brother Hayes is high. Because he looks, he looks to go
• 30:26
  shoot it. He goes, oh, I forgot to reload
• 30:28
  it. No click.
• 30:30
  Just drops it. Realizing he forgot to reload,
• 30:33
  it turns around grabbing his Mace and is going to hit the guy
• 30:37
  right there. The other guy.
• 30:39
  Oh yeah. I fucked hard.
• 30:42
  Oh yeah, I got her reloading these things.
• 30:46
  Crap just turns around and just goes for an absolute whack on
• 30:50
  the head. Guess this isn't going to work.
• 30:54
  Hey, think fast, juggle nuts. Does a 17 hit.
• 31:00
  See. Yes.
• 31:02
  Man. Let us see here and that will be
• 31:04
  AD 6. Let's go critical damage.
• 31:12
  Max. Damage.
• 31:13
  Max Damage so I will hit him with a total of plus with a with
• 31:19
  +3. A total of nine points of
• 31:21
  damage. Straight to the head.
• 31:22
  He he grabs his Mace, realizing he forgot to reload his
• 31:25
  crossbow, brings it up and just immediately brings it down on
• 31:29
  his head because he forgot he can't shoot without reloading.
• 31:34
  The goblin stumbles back. You can see that you have caved
• 31:37
  in the head ever so slightly and there's one ear that is just
• 31:40
  kind of mangled to the side of his face.
• 31:43
  He's got a gamer dent. Oh, that's still.
• 31:49
  Standing doesn't look like he's in a happy place.
• 31:52
  He's got the gamer dent. Is that all you can do, brother?
• 31:55
  Hayes, that is all I can do. Ball scar.
• 32:01
  Let's see. I'm gonna go for him.
• 32:03
  Let's go with him. All right, do it too at sea
• 32:05
  bass. Give me that butt attack.
• 32:08
  No, that one's A4. Fortunately, you can do it
• 32:13
  twice. I know, let's go again.
• 32:16
  Let's the dice plus the dice plus the dice plus the dice plus
• 32:18
  the dice plus the dice. Tickle the.
• 32:20
  Balls got a zombie on me and you can't harm me.
• 32:23
  Who do you voodoo bitch? I love that game. 12. 12 yeah,
• 32:30
  total. Did you roll A12I rolled A10 I
• 32:34
  tried. It's only a + 2.
• 32:36
  Oh, it is a + 2, yeah. 6 But he's a word right now.
• 32:38
  Hang on, he's a word right now. The word's got a + 3, doesn't
• 32:41
  it? And he's raging.
• 32:42
  Oh, rage doesn't add to the attack bonus, it's just the
• 32:44
  damage. Damage.
• 32:45
  Yeah, we went over this last time.
• 32:46
  I know I'm forgetful. So you go.
• 32:50
  Womp womp womp womp. Bonus action.
• 32:56
  Bonus action hump is like does that count as a grapple because
• 33:01
  he has to push them off? Dude, use your shapeshifter
• 33:07
  abilities and make yourself look like his dad and tell him you're
• 33:09
  very disappointed he. Doesn't know what he looks like.
• 33:13
  I'm disappointed in you, son. But I'm like you failure, you
• 33:17
  disappointment. Well, First things first.
• 33:20
  I'm the realist. Goblins are a mythical creature,
• 33:23
  I mean. May use my cure.
• 33:28
  Wind. You.
• 33:31
  Can't. You can't in Wild Shape form.
• 33:34
  Wild Shape form. You can't cast spells.
• 33:40
  What can I move? You can move you.
• 33:43
  Can move. You're going to get 3
• 33:45
  opportunity attacks against you. I don't.
• 33:47
  Give a shit I. Mean from 4 attacks last time he
• 33:52
  took six damage from three goblins and four three damage.
• 33:55
  Move me back, get the fuck out of there.
• 33:58
  You're taking the full speed. Yeah, I forgot.
• 34:01
  To clean up my spell list a little bit. 1.
• 34:04
  One of the spells that I have is ACD.
• 34:11
  Bad bitch. Here what bad bitch.
• 34:18
  So I was cleaning up my spell list and I looked, I just looked
• 34:21
  at it and I was like why do I have a spell called ACDC?
• 34:25
  It's accelerating. Hey with your limber body can
• 34:28
  you grab that for? Me every time you use it.
• 34:30
  Accelerator disorder just plays ACDC.
• 34:34
  I was just singing metallic. That wasn't even the dice.
• 34:38
  Hold on, hold on. Two strikes coming at you.
• 34:45
  Who? Me?
• 34:46
  No, we've. Hopefully they're not me.
• 34:49
  Well one is 3 damage have to 1 and the other oh oh boss man no
• 35:01
  swings his fear as you go running past and deals 15 damage
• 35:09
  to you but it is still half so 7 damage bro.
• 35:15
  So you take one damage and seven damage for a total of eight
• 35:18
  damage. You're an asshole.
• 35:20
  Damn. Almost.
• 35:21
  He almost did Max damage on an opportunity attack.
• 35:25
  I didn't. Ask hey.
• 35:29
  Hey, I'm sorry. Neither did your parents when
• 35:31
  you were conceived. Yeah, I know I was an accident.
• 35:33
  My dad had a .5% chance to get someone pregnant and I'm that
• 35:36
  .5% chance if. Anything.
• 35:38
  It just shows how determined he was to exist.
• 35:41
  That's pretty cool. My dad had. .5% chance to get
• 35:43
  somebody pregnant. He did it twice.
• 35:47
  But I needed to go take him gambling.
• 35:49
  Damn I'm bad at it. Would.
• 35:51
  It be considered good luck of bad luck.
• 35:53
  I'm good at it, but it's still fun.
• 35:55
  Got a .5% chance of winning. I thought you're about to fart
• 35:58
  into the phone. I was going to fart into the
• 36:00
  mikes. All right, so the goblins are
• 36:02
  going to now attack Father Ostrich.
• 36:04
  OK, wait. I mean, the big one can.
• 36:06
  Let's see who. The big one.
• 36:09
  Yeah, we restarted baby. Yeah, I know.
• 36:11
  I'm at the top of the Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it is, you snatch.
• 36:17
  All right, so what's my movement speed because I think.
• 36:20
  That's the top. No, that's that's wrong.
• 36:23
  That's wrong. I still had.
• 36:24
  I still had a dead guy on there. My bad.
• 36:26
  I still had a dead guy in rotation.
• 36:30
  Damn. Oh no, I know.
• 36:31
  I'm thinking. I'm thinking I'm going to catch
• 36:37
  Thunder Clap. Oh boy.
• 36:39
  Look up what it does again. Causes a cave in.
• 36:42
  Maybe. Probably.
• 36:44
  You. Create a burst of Thunder sound
• 36:46
  which can be heard 100 feet away.
• 36:49
  Each creature other than you within 5 feet of you must make a
• 36:53
  Constitution saving throw. On a fellowed save, that
• 36:55
  creature takes 1D6 Thunder damage.
• 36:58
  I'm sorry, Griff. Can I ask the the obvious
• 37:01
  question in the room you're? Unconscious.
• 37:04
  Well, I'm unconscious, but the player isn't.
• 37:10
  Does that mean more stun saves for everybody?
• 37:13
  Yeah, probably. I didn't think this went
• 37:17
  through, guys. For how many of us?
• 37:19
  Where is Father Osberg exactly? And Father Osberg is oh, why did
• 37:23
  you move there? So I could done the clap.
• 37:26
  Yeah, it's only. It's only a radius.
• 37:30
  I mean, it's going to be a, it's going to be a very loud sound,
• 37:33
  but you know, it is a directed. It's not like just like a
• 37:36
  repulse like fully around. Yes, no, no, it's. 5 feet
• 37:39
  around. Me around, yeah.
• 37:41
  Look, yeah Dunder wave is the one that goes in a cone.
• 37:44
  Dunder clap is 5 feet around. Me, I always get Thunder clap
• 37:47
  and Thunder wave. Thunder Wave is a spell when the
• 37:49
  clap is a. Can't drive, That's gonna hit
• 37:51
  everything. Did you even hit them?
• 37:53
  I. Think you only hit.
• 37:55
  What's the new I? Made a cave so.
• 37:57
  What's the What's the new scene? A Con saving throw of 13. 13 and
• 38:07
  that's for everybody, or that's for.
• 38:09
  Everybody within 5 feet, I mean. OK, it is going to echo out
• 38:14
  further, so I'm going to say 10 feet.
• 38:17
  I can move one more forward. I miscounted that.
• 38:20
  I see. Yeah, but you didn't know it was
• 38:22
  going to echo out. So it's Griff and then three
• 38:26
  goblins the main back. And 15 foot radius.
• 38:28
  And a 15 foot radius. He's trying.
• 38:31
  To hit me, yeah. He's he's caught in that one.
• 38:34
  Yeah, yeah. 15 foot I've caught. So it was Rook.
• 38:38
  Fuck Rook, he's dead. I haven't seen his girlfriend
• 38:43
  once and learned The Cave which she's supposed to be.
• 38:45
  I saw the cooking on the fire. What?
• 38:51
  She's cooking father. I was like mid bite.
• 38:58
  Wait, is she cooking or being cooked?
• 39:00
  I'm pretty sure you would have noticed an elf woman sitting by
• 39:02
  the fire with three goblins. It's just a nice roast.
• 39:07
  Maybe. She's maybe she's like one of
• 39:09
  those miniature tiny. Is that technically cannibalism
• 39:12
  for me since she's not human? Technically, no, technically,
• 39:18
  but still not right. Unethical.
• 39:21
  Unethical. Very different.
• 39:22
  Societies not legal. It's fucking delicious.
• 39:28
  OK. So this time of year.
• 39:30
  My hit my save. Yes.
• 39:32
  OK. What's your save I'm.
• 39:34
  Saying from him. Is he hit?
• 39:37
  Is he safe? Team. 10 or 15?
• 39:40
  I'm confirming if I'm a hit role OK.
• 39:43
  It is just ADC. 1320 he's fine. You're going to be fine.
• 39:50
  He's zoned out. He's he hears the cotton guest
• 39:55
  fail. Fail.
• 39:58
  Pass. Fail.
• 40:01
  So which one passed the boss? Of course he did.
• 40:04
  Fuck that guy. They all take 1D6 Thunder damage
• 40:07
  you. Want to roll it?
• 40:08
  Fuck yeah. So three of them failed.
• 40:10
  See. That's two for.
• 40:13
  One. Oh wait, I forgot to roll for
• 40:14
  Griff. 3D for one 6 foot one. Grips going to be wait, what's
• 40:18
  what's the save? I know it's a 13 but what is it?
• 40:20
  Con. Grips going?
• 40:22
  To be fine. 2 damage to 1/3 damage to 1/6 damage to 1.
• 40:28
  Mangled ear concave slightly. Head Goblin goes down because
• 40:34
  he's 15 feet, correct? No, he's just.
• 40:37
  Never mind. So yeah, the goblins all stagger
• 40:42
  back slightly, even the boss braces himself, but they're
• 40:48
  still standing even through the. I rolled a 13 on a lock roll to
• 40:52
  see if the thing caved in or not.
• 40:54
  A 13. Yeah.
• 40:57
  All right. Roll me.
• 41:00
  Oh yeah, I can just roll. My you got to roll his.
• 41:03
  You got to roll. 1. Everything bellows and echoes
• 41:06
  through as my own little percentage I had.
• 41:09
  AI felt like 1 was the best option.
• 41:11
  I felt like 10 would have been bad.
• 41:15
  OK, everything just bellows through it's loud cacophoning
• 41:19
  but it's just kind of starts to settle and you can hear the
• 41:22
  grinding and cracking and little bits of as things move about the
• 41:27
  tunnel but everything seems to calm down.
• 41:31
  That'll be my turn. You Gucci, Minucci.
• 41:35
  Ain't got no bonus actions. I can get my finger gun ready.
• 41:39
  Yeah, now. Just.
• 41:40
  Go ahead and have it ready. There you go.
• 41:43
  Blue light emanate him. Hold your fucking finger.
• 41:46
  You guys don't know what I'm. Doing I have a fucking gun.
• 41:49
  Wow, what are you doing, Dad? He's beating his Dick.
• 41:51
  Did you create? No Arishi takes another swing at
• 41:58
  this goblin and regrettably whiffs.
• 42:01
  The goblin is able to do that. Matrix handstand, back
• 42:07
  handstand, and now it's the goblin's tines.
• 42:21
  Damn it, they're all still alive.
• 42:23
  Too. Hello.
• 42:24
  Dad. I found it.
• 42:28
  I. Heard it in my ear.
• 42:29
  Yeah, I'll show you Rib Dad. All right, check my pants after
• 42:33
  this one. Goblin.
• 42:34
  Boston, Dara. Dara.
• 42:37
  I'm about to die. I didn't think this through.
• 42:41
  I'm going to move 40 feet back. Oh all.
• 42:45
  Right, All right, I'm going to see what he decides to do.
• 42:49
  One in three, he goes for you. Otherwise, he does something.
• 42:51
  Can I look him in the face and go you can't see me 13 plus?
• 43:00
  Who's the boys? Are 16 on persuasion.
• 43:02
  You can't see me. He just looks at you for a
• 43:06
  moment and tilts his head like. And then you can't see.
• 43:10
  Me just goes past the crazy senile seeming man over to
• 43:17
  Vallejo. Casas revivify, I'm not done
• 43:21
  with you yet. It was, it was very Thor.
• 43:25
  It was very Thor of you. I'm sorry, I was.
• 43:30
  I was. Thinking about the goblin, these
• 43:32
  nuts you never spell power would kill.
• 43:40
  The larger goblin leans down, grabbing a hold of Vallejo by
• 43:43
  the leg. My cock.
• 43:46
  Hold again. And begins to drag him back the
• 43:48
  rest of his movement towards from which he came.
• 43:51
  Go back to once you became. Are you trying to kidnap
• 43:54
  Vallejo? Yeah.
• 43:56
  I like held it. You're not taking me away.
• 44:05
  You ain't taking me alive, boy. You ain't.
• 44:08
  Taking me alive, Mother, I'm going to.
• 44:18
  Try and finish off this goblin in front of me.
• 44:20
  Louder. I'm going to try and finish off
• 44:22
  this goblin in front of me. Yeah, I'm gonna use the same
• 44:27
  attack do. It.
• 44:28
  All right, 1814. Those are both hits.
• 44:42
  Nice. So I hit him with it slash
• 44:48
  slash. David, tell me how you killed
• 44:51
  this goblin. I come down with.
• 44:53
  I come down with the first diagonal strike and slash him
• 44:58
  right across the chest, and then I come right back in the
• 45:02
  opposite direction and another upward diagonal slash.
• 45:06
  In that time I hit him right in the neck, slashing his jugular.
• 45:10
  Get. That out of here.
• 45:14
  Therefore ending his knife. Sprays over your face and tits.
• 45:18
  We might. Live.
• 45:19
  Whoa, OK, I don't know what type of freaky stuff you're into Mr.
• 45:25
  but that is uncalled for. Come on fans, draw it.
• 45:29
  We. Need No, no.
• 45:31
  Don't draw blood on Dara's titties, no.
• 45:34
  We need Dara simps. Dara Simps.
• 45:37
  No. We need Dimps fan art of
• 45:39
  anything. Fan art of anything you can
• 45:42
  draw. Friggin Nanawi giving back shots
• 45:45
  to friggin Vallejo. I don't give a damn.
• 45:48
  Oh no, by that one. Oh no, everyone see that?
• 45:53
  Why not? You don't want to see it what
• 45:55
  you do. No, no, I don't.
• 45:57
  It's. Like one of those things where
• 45:58
  you're like, oh, it's so gross, but I can't look away.
• 46:01
  Like a train wreck. I'm.
• 46:05
  Sorry. There's a comedian that talks
• 46:09
  about how vaginas are like pugs. Oh my God, so.
• 46:12
  Ugly, but you love him. Oh, look at you.
• 46:15
  Look at you. What the?
• 46:23
  If a comedian can say it, and by gods, I stand by.
• 46:25
  Comedians are way more popular than us.
• 46:27
  You. Know what?
• 46:28
  He's got a point, yeah. Hey man, you got to start
• 46:30
  somewhere. We're not all Daniel Tosh.
• 46:33
  Yeah, I don't know about that one.
• 46:34
  I like Daniel, Josh. No, I'm not talking about that.
• 46:38
  Talking about comparing vaginas to pugs, I.
• 46:42
  Mean like. Is it wrong though?
• 46:43
  It's sometimes. It's not.
• 46:44
  Honestly, it's hilarious. Vagina, just like a pug, just
• 46:46
  goes. Yeah.
• 46:50
  OK, that was pretty funny. Two on the die, 5 on the die,
• 46:59
  three on the die. I'm immortal.
• 47:03
  All the goblins come at you just.
• 47:06
  Leave. We've that.
• 47:20
  Sounds like our next T-shirt design.
• 47:22
  Just father all shirt like this. Yeah, just father all shirt.
• 47:28
  Just doing the. Come, baby, I'm gonna.
• 47:36
  Make that very. Odd.
• 47:37
  Whenever 3 goblins swing at you and they miss.
• 47:45
  It's Valeo's turn. Don't crit fail.
• 47:48
  Silvery bubs, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
• 47:52
  I don't have any smells. Lines lucky disappear.
• 47:59
  I take that disadvantage away. You just fuck his disadvantage.
• 48:06
  You just fuck his disadvantage. Yeah, I can take disadvantage
• 48:09
  away from things. All right, Griff, it's your
• 48:10
  turn. But myself class, do I just
• 48:13
  forget that I can use it? Come on Griff, hit the fucking
• 48:16
  goblin. Griff.
• 48:18
  Wait, no. I love that he stopped.
• 48:20
  You went all right, Griff. It's your turn, man.
• 48:22
  He just did. He hit it.
• 48:23
  Let's go I. Was going to try and give him
• 48:26
  inspiration. That's AD 10.
• 48:29
  That's a technical foul. Finally, Griff's doing something
• 48:32
  useful. I'll give you a biggie bag ride.
• 48:36
  All right then. I got you then.
• 48:41
  I can't remember if that one's been hit now.
• 48:43
  What? The one in front of him.
• 48:45
  I don't Griff. He got hit by my Thunder wave.
• 48:48
  I assumed he was the one that took three because it was 3, two
• 48:51
  and six. That's.
• 48:51
  Right. That's right.
• 48:52
  That's right. 2-3 and six, one of the two.
• 48:55
  So gash hook cutlass cuts through them nice and clean,
• 49:01
  opens above goblin staggers back still standing and.
• 49:07
  I know what I'm doing. I'm like doing.
• 49:09
  Bonus action trying to kick some rock shit up at the damn goblin.
• 49:12
  You ever seen an old man fucking goblin?
• 49:17
  You're about to. I can't see a fucking thing I'm.
• 49:22
  I'm walking over this stable as you're my paper.
• 49:23
  Way to watch this dies. Griff kicks his foot up.
• 49:35
  Just kind of pissed off that the goblin's not down.
• 49:37
  Oh. You.
• 49:45
  Motherfucker. Wait, what's he sound like?
• 49:46
  Hang on. I.
• 49:47
  Think that was right? Oh, you motherfucker.
• 49:49
  Yeah. And it just kicks everything he
• 49:51
  can. Some rocks come up and get into
• 49:53
  the eyes in the sand. Am I kicking a grandma and just.
• 49:58
  And the goblin starts shaking its head around Griff's got his
• 50:00
  own little boots saying so where you like?
• 50:06
  Yeah, I don't like it. You made it your own.
• 50:10
  Brother Hayes. Finally.
• 50:13
  Finally. Let me out of my cage.
• 50:16
  He sees. Something out of my cage and
• 50:18
  I've been doing just fun. Before you.
• 50:31
  I didn't really do that for it. All right, before we dive back
• 50:39
  into the goblin murdering chaos, we got to shout out something
• 50:41
  pretty badass that's going on in the real world right now.
• 50:45
  Oh yeah, this one's dangerous in the best possible way.
• 50:49
  If you guys are going to be anywhere near Maggie Valley, NC
• 50:52
  you need to come check out the Axe Tavern.
• 50:54
  Real axe throwing, real lanes, real chances to embarrass
• 50:58
  yourself in front of your friends.
• 50:59
  Or accidentally discover your Viking and start landing bull's
• 51:02
  eyes like some kind of woodland warlord.
• 51:04
  We're doing tournaments, leagues, chaotic throwing nights
• 51:07
  and all kind of Norse play nonsense over there.
• 51:10
  And yes, we will absolutely live stream tournaments, trash talk
• 51:14
  people, and probably start rivalries that should not exist.
• 51:18
  So if you want to throw axes, hang out, maybe end up on the
• 51:20
  Norse Play podcast or live streams.
• 51:23
  Or just prove to your friends that you're the alpha of the
• 51:25
  friend group. Come on, find us at the Axe
• 51:28
  Tavern right there in Maggie Valley.
• 51:29
  Bring your friends, bring your enemies, hell, bring your
• 51:32
  inlaws. Just don't bring any excuses
• 51:35
  when you lose the tournament. Axe Tavern Maggie Valley Valley
• 51:41
  Fuck you Axe Tavern Maggie Valley.
• 51:43
  Come throw. Still with us?
• 51:45
  Bitch. What
• 51:59
  all over again? And we're back.
• 52:03
  We're smoking crack. Actually, I don't know about
• 52:05
  that. He didn't hear it, but he did
• 52:08
  the But don't. I didn't.
• 52:10
  Hear. It.
• 52:11
  Pushed both Oh yeah any who's nuts so.
• 52:15
  I killed the goblin. I'm so proud.
• 52:17
  I'm so proud of you, Dara. We have a stand in at the
• 52:21
  moment, a Mr. Jackson, Jackson anyway, so we have a stand in
• 52:32
  Jackson. I was just making sure you were
• 52:35
  going to do it again. He will be playing our lovely
• 52:40
  MPC Orichi for Shout out Orichi off of TikTok.
• 52:46
  What's the guys name? Huh.
• 52:47
  His name is Orichi. Is it really?
• 52:49
  Yeah. No, no, no.
• 52:51
  Seriously. Shout out.
• 52:52
  He used to be private caboose. That's how you said it.
• 52:55
  You're right. He was private caboose.
• 52:57
  He shouted out, hey, man, make this MPC.
• 52:59
  It'd be awesome. Arici half work, He's a
• 53:01
  mercenary, blah, blah, blah. Hey man.
• 53:03
  Gotcha. Absolutely.
• 53:04
  We did that. I love it.
• 53:05
  As soon as the first episode with Arici came out, he changed
• 53:08
  his name to Arici. I was like, hell yeah, right on.
• 53:10
  He's, he's been a, he's been a follower since episode 2.
• 53:14
  The worst episode. He literally the he he stuck
• 53:17
  with us through one of the worst ones.
• 53:19
  Hey everybody has an episode too.
• 53:20
  It's like episode 3 of Letterkenny.
• 53:23
  Great show though. Fuck you, shorzy.
• 53:28
  All right. So introductions for you, Sir
• 53:31
  Orici. Over here we have Father Osric.
• 53:36
  Next to Father Osric, we have Brother Hayes.
• 53:39
  I saw it it. Saw it it.
• 53:41
  Over here on your right you have Vallejo, and over here we have
• 53:47
  the Dera. That's just Dera.
• 53:49
  Or, well, more accurately. Yeah, yeah.
• 53:53
  He's he's dying, Mama. He's going to do things with his
• 54:03
  body. Go fuck my butt.
• 54:08
  Drag him away like AG bug just. I've never been in playing
• 54:14
  cockpit, but I've. Never been on.
• 54:15
  A. Plane.
• 54:18
  He just fights. So yes, it was Davis turn, the
• 54:23
  goblins took some strikes and missed and Vallejo.
• 54:27
  Missed me? Griff hit, and now it is brother
• 54:31
  Hay's turn finally. Hell yeah again.
• 54:36
  It is my turn, so taking a good look around, seeing that we're
• 54:41
  not fair, no one's really faring too well, He decides it is time
• 54:45
  for a prayer. He He clasps his hands together,
• 54:49
  looks up, and he goes, you know, calling again.
• 54:54
  It's me, Sarah, didn't you know? It's.
• 54:56
  Me. Your boy.
• 54:59
  You know, I could really use a little bit of a little pick me
• 55:01
  up for me and these fellows here if, you know, if you could just
• 55:03
  give us a little blessing real, you know, just a little bit
• 55:06
  would. Be good.
• 55:07
  And then he will I will use my What's it called?
• 55:11
  You hear from 15 feet in front of you.
• 55:12
  Hey, man. I will use my what's it called
• 55:18
  thing. What is it?
• 55:18
  I just had it my cleric thing. Channel Divinity my.
• 55:21
  Channel Divinity. Yes, I'll use my Channel
• 55:22
  Divinity which allows me to multiply my cleric level 5 times
• 55:27
  and split that HP between all allies that I believe visible.
• 55:32
  D&D rule stuff, so I will. Be 15.
• 55:35
  Yeah, I have a total of 15 HP that I will divide into 5 into
• 55:39
  Father Austria 5 Dera and let's see here. 6.
• 55:46
  I will pass it's either between I got 5.
• 55:51
  It'll be all right. I guess I'll do another.
• 55:53
  Five. It'll be all right.
• 55:54
  No, wait, someone else needed this guy needed something,
• 55:57
  right? I believe he could have used.
• 55:59
  No. Wait, who?
• 56:01
  How's Griff looking? Griff's not looking great.
• 56:04
  OK, then he will get the five, then he'll get the spare 5.
• 56:06
  So it'll be so it'll be 5 day five Father Ostrich and five
• 56:10
  him. Griff kind of just starts to
• 56:12
  look at himself as he's holding the story and he's just like,
• 56:14
  I'll feel kind of tingly. This is the first time I've felt
• 56:16
  father. That's about right.
• 56:21
  Father Ostrich starts to grip with.
• 56:22
  Himself. This is the first time I've felt
• 56:24
  Father ostrich. This is the first time I've felt
• 56:26
  Sheridan's busting in 22 years, 22, six to two years.
• 56:31
  Saw dude. Seeing everyone, he goes thanks
• 56:35
  Sheridan, and he just claps his hands together again and fuck
• 56:38
  you. Sarah turns back and pulls out
• 56:40
  his face again, and that'll be his turn.
• 56:43
  Fuck you, Sheridan. Hey.
• 56:47
  I. Mean I'll teach you about him.
• 56:52
  Do I believe in him? He.
• 56:54
  Never came to be a good priest. And we learned that from Episode
• 56:57
  1. Yeah, you should know that the
• 56:59
  first thing Father also do is keep screaming in somebody's
• 57:02
  eye. Volscar in his war form, as he
• 57:06
  makes his way away from combat, behind everyone as he leaves his
• 57:11
  war shape. Stop it.
• 57:13
  Zai. And then, Father Osric, it's
• 57:17
  your turn. That's me.
• 57:21
  I'll reach a year after Father Osric.
• 57:23
  I'm going to let me, let me let me remember, let me remember
• 57:27
  whatever you're shooting. The dude, she that was bad.
• 57:35
  There it is. So this one to my left is dead
• 57:38
  right? Because Griff killed him.
• 57:39
  Did Griff kill him? Nope, no, okay, the one right in
• 57:43
  front of me is going to get mine slivered.
• 57:47
  What does mine slivered do? You drive a disorienting spike
• 57:50
  of psychic energy into the mind of one creature you can see
• 57:53
  within range. The target must succeed on an
• 57:55
  intelligent saving throw or take 1D6 psychic damage and subtract
• 58:00
  1D four from the next saving throw it makes before the end of
• 58:02
  the next turn. Nice.
• 58:04
  Oh God, this poor bastard. I ain't so smart.
• 58:09
  That is a fail. OK cool, so he's going to take
• 58:12
  1D6 for damage. He didn't like that.
• 58:18
  I'm going to. He shakes his head around like.
• 58:21
  I'm going to I'm going to Crouch down, get eye to eye with him.
• 58:25
  I'm a Crouch down, get like get like eye to eye with him and
• 58:28
  just be like come here Winter secret real quick and I lean and
• 58:32
  I go. He gets a -. 4 to the save.
• 58:37
  Nope. What am I in my next girl?
• 58:44
  It's bounce out anyway. Brain.
• 58:51
  It's 15. It's a 15.
• 58:55
  Well, he wrote a four -4 yeah. You're old at 0.
• 59:01
  This government rolled at 0 on a saving throw.
• 59:03
  Tie, bitch blind. That's all I can do.
• 59:08
  Blinded by the Oh my God, the one to the left of him is boot
• 59:12
  sand. Pocket sand.
• 59:15
  The first time I've pockets ended in a few episodes.
• 59:17
  Like father, like son. I'm proud of him.
• 59:21
  This is my adopted son. That's my other adopted.
• 59:25
  Son, the one being dragged away is also the.
• 59:28
  One that's dead and currently captured.
• 59:31
  Man, you should probably get your children.
• 59:33
  I can't do it, You see that good.
• 59:35
  Richie says that, well, you should probably get your
• 59:37
  children. Comedy.
• 59:43
  Reach it. It's your turn.
• 59:44
  You said that. Thanks bro, get your kid sorry.
• 59:47
  What are my options? So.
• 59:49
  That means he's got Action Surge.
• 59:51
  At level 2, yeah. Yep.
• 59:53
  So you could actually attack twice if you hope to, and you
• 59:56
  have a big axe that does 1D12 damage plus your plus three
• 1:00:01
  strength modifier. Walk them through this.
• 1:00:04
  So essentially, if you want to, because you're way back there,
• 1:00:09
  so you'd have to move up to the enemies, you could move up and
• 1:00:12
  attack, you can move to this area.
• 1:00:15
  Well, no. So that's like 5 feet right of
• 1:00:17
  his. Range.
• 1:00:18
  Yeah, yeah, you're 5 feet out of his.
• 1:00:19
  Range. Yeah, you are.
• 1:00:20
  You are a gruff. You're a gruff half orc that's
• 1:00:23
  all about fucking shit up melee combat.
• 1:00:25
  You get hired to kill people or defend stuff and you have a big
• 1:00:29
  ass I. Remember, there's something
• 1:00:30
  fighter gets that does, but it's who.
• 1:00:31
  Wouldn't have been able to make it over here.
• 1:00:33
  Yeah, I know. Roll in the way of.
• 1:00:34
  It I thought he could move diagonally.
• 1:00:36
  Though like 5 feet through people.
• 1:00:40
  I didn't think that was through. Yeah, 5 foot square.
• 1:00:42
  Yeah, I mean, he could do, he could do like an acrobatics or
• 1:00:45
  something or a Dex, sorry, a Dex or something move.
• 1:00:48
  Right here and attack the goblin diagonally.
• 1:00:51
  So now you roll AD 20. Which one you're?
• 1:00:53
  Going for which one you're going for?
• 1:00:54
  Oh, wait. The one right in front of you is
• 1:00:56
  me. Don't hit me.
• 1:00:57
  Yeah, don't that. So there's this.
• 1:01:00
  Guy, unless you want to because I said where each was going to
• 1:01:02
  stab you. Yeah, it's not like I get that
• 1:01:04
  girl from. Him.
• 1:01:04
  Yeah, yeah, All right. D20D the the biggest, the most
• 1:01:09
  numbered 1. So they're 13 because the 13 hit
• 1:01:12
  Dan. Yes.
• 1:01:14
  Oh, so he hits. So now you roll AD 12.
• 1:01:17
  Yes. Which is the second biggest
• 1:01:19
  looking one? So you.
• 1:01:21
  And then add five. No, you wouldn't add five.
• 1:01:24
  You just had no more. Normal.
• 1:01:25
  Well, No 5 is what he rolled. Yeah, 5 is just.
• 1:01:28
  Yeah. So you rolled A5, you rolled a 5
• 1:01:30
  + 3. Yeah, it.
• 1:01:30
  Yeah, he was just. Saying.
• 1:01:32
  That you rolled A5. Yeah, you're gonna say you guys
• 1:01:35
  just don't add plus 530 you're. Confusing the new guy plus. 5
• 1:01:37
  because he was about to add his +5.
• 1:01:39
  He was going. He was about to.
• 1:01:40
  Literally see you going because that guy.
• 1:01:42
  That's all I know, yeah. Because he was about to add his
• 1:01:44
  +5 to his like hit. It was just a plus to his
• 1:01:46
  damage, not to his hit. OK so just so you just dealt 8
• 1:01:50
  damage to that goblin with your ex Arici, describe your kill.
• 1:01:55
  Ohh, you got the kill. Yeah, you got.
• 1:01:57
  So describe what he does. You have to do the voice to
• 1:01:59
  describe. It yes, I'd recommend it.
• 1:02:04
  Just just close your eyes, forget we're here and just be
• 1:02:06
  like, all right, big dude with X.
• 1:02:08
  Bad. Huh.
• 1:02:09
  Am I dumb? Is your intelligence low?
• 1:02:12
  It's 8 minus. One.
• 1:02:12
  Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're dumb.
• 1:02:15
  You're. Not smart.
• 1:02:15
  You're not smart. You were smart enough to
• 1:02:17
  understand that. Yeah, you're understand the
• 1:02:19
  smart enough to understand you're dumb.
• 1:02:20
  You're. Smart enough to understand
• 1:02:22
  you're dumb, you're big X and IT.
• 1:02:26
  Was this moment found out every she can't read.
• 1:02:32
  To be fair, words don't. Speak.
• 1:02:36
  No way. No one nipple at a time.
• 1:02:40
  One nipple at a time. I put my pants on one nipple at
• 1:02:46
  a time. How's that word?
• 1:02:48
  I know that. Who told you?
• 1:02:50
  Me and the no I had sex. I didn't say I had sex, I just
• 1:02:53
  said touching. No way.
• 1:02:54
  Somebody just told themselves, yeah, well, I think cranium was
• 1:03:01
  too big of a word. For.
• 1:03:05
  Your top butt. All right, let him go.
• 1:03:09
  He was about to. There you go.
• 1:03:10
  See. That was good.
• 1:03:14
  That. Was.
• 1:03:19
  Good. We're going to cut like 15
• 1:03:22
  minutes before that, but oh, Richie put extra skull.
• 1:03:24
  That was perfect. That's a Richie baby.
• 1:03:26
  That was good. That was pretty good.
• 1:03:28
  That was really good. I just ripped ass right here.
• 1:03:31
  Any 2 comedy ain't. No fan in here.
• 1:03:37
  Yeah, it's gonna be. Yeah, all of our fans are
• 1:03:40
  listening right now. Idiot.
• 1:03:44
  Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute.
• 1:03:46
  I was a fan before I got here my.
• 1:03:48
  Wife. All right, so goblin beasts.
• 1:03:54
  Goblin, this Dick. The leader Goblin.
• 1:04:01
  Me too, OK. Starts fidgeting with you Valeo
• 1:04:05
  you start to come too and gain regain consciousness he start to
• 1:04:10
  come. Huh.
• 1:04:13
  So stabilize me I. Don't know, he just.
• 1:04:18
  I think he's going to try and win.
• 1:04:21
  He starts fidgeting with you. You come, that stabilizes you.
• 1:04:28
  He begins to subdue you fully tying you up, and you feel a
• 1:04:33
  slight difference in your weight as which you never.
• 1:04:37
  Oh, you did fire at once. Yeah.
• 1:04:38
  It's like got one bullet left. So it's just.
• 1:04:40
  One bullet on the ground loaded over here by.
• 1:04:43
  Here, pick it up. I don't.
• 1:04:45
  Think he wants that I'm. Not near.
• 1:04:47
  Him. Yeah.
• 1:04:47
  No, he dropped his gun over here.
• 1:04:49
  My gun. He went.
• 1:04:50
  Unconscious. I'm not near him and.
• 1:04:52
  I was knocked down my. Gun.
• 1:04:53
  I'm not near him. He's over there.
• 1:04:54
  Then it's like I'm. I'm over here, my gun's over
• 1:04:56
  there. I have a gun.
• 1:04:59
  Picking stuff up. Bonus action What's?
• 1:05:03
  That I know what? This is what's it called?
• 1:05:07
  What's it called? Dare shut the fuck up.
• 1:05:09
  Dare what's called Is this Chico?
• 1:05:16
  Chico. Oh God my fucking head hurts.
• 1:05:21
  I've always wanted to. Shoot this thing.
• 1:05:26
  So Vallejo, you come to as he starts just kind of looking over
• 1:05:29
  your body and you can feel him rifling through your pockets and
• 1:05:32
  this and that and. The meat's better when it's
• 1:05:35
  fresh. I want you to what I.
• 1:05:40
  Think I have the most money? You want to attempt to fight
• 1:05:43
  back or do anything while he's tying you up.
• 1:05:45
  I'll reach you might have the most money.
• 1:05:49
  What do you? Want me to roll?
• 1:05:52
  I mean, it would be a strength or decks.
• 1:05:55
  Decks would disadvantage. Strength would be all right.
• 1:06:01
  You're like, no. Oh, wait.
• 1:06:03
  Whose voice is that? Oh God, I don't think I could do
• 1:06:06
  a country accent anymore. Wait, there it is.
• 1:06:09
  Dang, boy, get the fuck out of me.
• 1:06:13
  Oh, no, you, you ain't my dad. So you're just like, no, no, I'm
• 1:06:22
  tied up. Stop what?
• 1:06:25
  Are you doing? Stop.
• 1:06:28
  Get off me. What are you?
• 1:06:30
  What are you? Doing step hoshiko.
• 1:06:39
  There it's your. Turn.
• 1:06:45
  Was that a fart or a burp? What was that?
• 1:06:47
  It was like AI just so hollowed and laughed at the same time.
• 1:06:51
  You hear it through the headphones, you don't know
• 1:06:53
  what's happening. Sometimes fire.
• 1:06:55
  I. Missed.
• 1:06:58
  No, it's not. Give me a luck check.
• 1:06:59
  Give me a luck check. You have sight.
• 1:07:01
  You've never, you've never held this weapon before.
• 1:07:03
  Let's see if it goes off while you're trying to put it in your
• 1:07:05
  crotch. Well, I mean.
• 1:07:09
  Well, first, probably don't hold your gun.
• 1:07:10
  There 10. You just put it, you just tuck
• 1:07:17
  it away. Technically, you're not even
• 1:07:19
  wearing, you know, and your picture you're wearing like a
• 1:07:22
  dress thing. You say you could just.
• 1:07:24
  You just shoot a tit off, put it right.
• 1:07:26
  In between my teeth. How my nipple I.
• 1:07:32
  Know that I know that's my heel. I know what.
• 1:07:40
  My ass. 302 including the boss. 2 and also the boss.
• 1:07:52
  You won't be able to get Tim. You're going to a wall right
• 1:07:54
  now. Yeah.
• 1:07:54
  You're going to the. Wall she has reach with her
• 1:07:56
  thing with Jigger. Yeah, but she's going to a wall.
• 1:07:59
  Oh, Oh, yeah, yeah, I. Mean technically.
• 1:08:02
  Technically it's the move up. It wouldn't be.
• 1:08:03
  She didn't break it, no. I told I told her she could
• 1:08:06
  break it and then she could have the two weapons and they do 126
• 1:08:10
  apiece. But then we compromise.
• 1:08:11
  Remember on. Oh, yeah, but you just don't get
• 1:08:13
  the added benefit on the other side.
• 1:08:25
  And the goblin boss, just give him here.
• 1:08:36
  Is the green. Still in that area or no?
• 1:08:38
  No. Yeah.
• 1:08:40
  Yeah. The grease stays, they're pretty
• 1:08:43
  still there, permanent until someone cleans it.
• 1:08:46
  No, you still made it to them because you're just stepping
• 1:08:48
  into it. That's I use six to six moves if
• 1:08:51
  it's. There's a line right there.
• 1:08:53
  You literally just stepped into it.
• 1:08:56
  No, Yeah, Grace is probably gone by now.
• 1:08:57
  It's one minute. Oh yeah, it's, it's been a lot
• 1:09:01
  of rounds, 3 casts. More than ten turns in that case
• 1:09:04
  from since big since he cast. It since 6:00 or seven turns it
• 1:09:07
  has. Don't look at me like that.
• 1:09:11
  It's not then it's still there for like 2 more turns.
• 1:09:13
  I was thinking about 6 seconds per turn grace.
• 1:09:15
  There or not it's. Still, yes, it's still there
• 1:09:17
  for. It's still there but you just
• 1:09:18
  stepped into it so it's non valid, no?
• 1:09:21
  You. Mean hey, him dragging Vallejo
• 1:09:23
  back. And and then ending movement in
• 1:09:26
  Greece causes the. What about the was it bad guy
• 1:09:31
  too because he ended his movement in the Greece bad guy?
• 1:09:33
  Too. Can I not attack?
• 1:09:36
  Yeah, you can attack Peter. Phelps in.
• 1:09:39
  That one, yeah. He hella failed.
• 1:09:41
  I got you the net 20 guy. He's the big boss.
• 1:09:44
  Is that a one that ones I just he just.
• 1:09:46
  Got a one can I attack the? Boss yes.
• 1:09:49
  Yes, yes. But he's on the ground.
• 1:09:52
  Hit him No. But he's on the ground.
• 1:09:55
  A bolum has 10 feet to reach. Are you trying to hit Vallejo A?
• 1:10:00
  9 doesn't hit him doesn't. A9 total.
• 1:10:03
  Nah, OK. I missed both hits.
• 1:10:05
  What's wrong with you? That's cocked?
• 1:10:08
  No. Is it good?
• 1:10:11
  Watch that. What was good?
• 1:10:12
  Was it? Hey?
• 1:10:12
  He said. He said.
• 1:10:22
  All right, they were missed and she fired.
• 1:10:25
  Fired. How'd she go, dude?
• 1:10:28
  Fired, Got missed, fired again. I.
• 1:10:30
  Think you. Would have.
• 1:10:34
  Been better. Oh.
• 1:10:36
  Somebody just hit me. Didn't.
• 1:10:39
  Somebody just. Some.
• 1:10:40
  Packed actors. He's a crit crit.
• 1:10:47
  Maybe I owed a little bit. Six damage on a crit from a
• 1:10:52
  little goblin knife. I'm down.
• 1:10:56
  I. Can hear her singing again.
• 1:10:58
  I'm freaking. Sexy back.
• 1:11:02
  That's not my brother. Sounds like she has the voice of
• 1:11:04
  an Angel. Yeah, All right, That's it,
• 1:11:07
  Father Hayes. Father Hayes, I've been.
• 1:11:10
  Father. Officer, give me a death save.
• 1:11:12
  OK Arichi, it's your turn. I'm going to set the scene for
• 1:11:16
  you. Arishi, you and Brother Hayes
• 1:11:19
  came up on the wagon that you were steering, heading for your
• 1:11:21
  new whatever home that you've been to before of Stone Dwarf.
• 1:11:25
  On your way there you ran into a camp that was recently set,
• 1:11:28
  didn't disturb with blood and goblins, dead bodies all around
• 1:11:32
  and you follow the trail. You recognize the tents in the
• 1:11:34
  camp because you realized and you remembered father, Father,
• 1:11:37
  you remember father Osric and Vallejo and Dara.
• 1:11:39
  So in doing that you were like and Volskar, you need no
• 1:11:43
  volskar. So you just knew they were in
• 1:11:45
  trouble. So you ran to inspect, followed
• 1:11:47
  the tracks, etcetera. Then you came upon The Cave with
• 1:11:50
  Brother Hayes and you guys went in.
• 1:11:52
  When you get in you see oh they're fighting more goblins.
• 1:11:55
  So you come in here to help. So time goes on as you guys have
• 1:11:58
  been fighting Arichi, you find yourself you're standing in the
• 1:12:00
  middle of a cave. You have you have 3 goblins in
• 1:12:03
  front of you. Your buddy Father Austria has
• 1:12:06
  died unbeknownst to you, but actually known to you twice now
• 1:12:10
  he is falling down. Father Austria has just fallen
• 1:12:14
  right next to you. Vallejo is being tied up for God
• 1:12:18
  knows what. You have that guy Griff right
• 1:12:20
  next to you and Dara's to the back of you and you have these
• 1:12:23
  bad guys in front of you. It is your turn.
• 1:12:25
  Proceed. So that's the.
• 1:12:28
  Big bad, Big bad. There's two goblins.
• 1:12:31
  Yeah, you know, guys, minions. And then this guy, he just went
• 1:12:33
  down. There's 3 total goblins, one of
• 1:12:37
  which is close he's. Already.
• 1:12:38
  He's already. He's already down, no?
• 1:12:45
  It's an NPC. His name's Brooke.
• 1:12:46
  We don't like. They don't like him, but you
• 1:12:50
  don't know that. Your character would not know
• 1:12:52
  that. Yeah.
• 1:12:53
  Nor would Brother Hayes. No, that's what I'm saying it
• 1:12:56
  all he thinks is all dead guy feeling.
• 1:12:58
  You can say when he dropped. That's exactly why we can't.
• 1:13:02
  Get to him unless you can step over our bodies.
• 1:13:05
  I gave him a check for it. Step over bodies.
• 1:13:09
  Like, you know, like running through.
• 1:13:10
  Tires being grease, yeah. Yeah, immediately being grease.
• 1:13:14
  Oh yeah, you failure, Yeah. So he's going to climb some
• 1:13:17
  bodies. All right, give me a deck save.
• 1:13:19
  Don't fuck it up. I got a 14 plus.
• 1:13:24
  Stats, but you beat it. I ain't fudging nothing.
• 1:13:27
  I just showed both of them. It was me to beat it.
• 1:13:30
  So you met it now? Attack is there like it?
• 1:13:35
  Stuff, yes, I was, I was, I was literally just asking about
• 1:13:39
  that. Does he have that'll actually
• 1:13:40
  have? Yeah, you.
• 1:13:41
  Guys would say does he have cleave because technically that
• 1:13:43
  would be a 5 foot like a 5 foot cone but technically would allow
• 1:13:45
  him to hit both on right. Stickle your mouth.
• 1:13:48
  Chew it. Plus +5.
• 1:13:50
  Yeah, so 13 again, 13 to hit, hit you.
• 1:13:55
  Got 12. Plus your strength, which would
• 1:13:57
  be plus three I believe normal strength.
• 1:13:59
  Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:14:00
  So 15. Oh, 15 damage he maxed.
• 1:14:04
  Out yeah, he rode Max damage. Everybody shut the fuck up.
• 1:14:07
  Arici, describe your kill. Oh, you got another?
• 1:14:10
  One easy he just. He just cuts him down.
• 1:14:14
  Easy Arici, you bring down the hammer.
• 1:14:17
  If it's an axe, relax. Cleave the goblin just splits
• 1:14:20
  the goblin. Speaking of that, what is?
• 1:14:23
  The like that one scene critical.
• 1:14:25
  Hands man, I watch it for the first.
• 1:14:27
  Time the other day, that's a crit.
• 1:14:30
  Pretty much landing the Max, the highest number you can, which is
• 1:14:33
  pretty much. And then there's also do
• 1:14:35
  anything with the damage. Not unless the not unless it's
• 1:14:37
  the D20. Yeah, the D20.
• 1:14:38
  What determines that? Because you can crit fail and
• 1:14:40
  crit. Succeed and yeah.
• 1:14:42
  And I have crit fail and crit success roles too.
• 1:14:44
  And you can action surge and hit the other.
• 1:14:46
  One, yeah, you can Action Surge right now.
• 1:14:49
  Action Surge is pretty much. A fighter ability.
• 1:14:50
  Pretty much you boost yourself and can attack again and do some
• 1:14:53
  other. Stuff.
• 1:14:53
  You get an extra action essentially, yeah.
• 1:14:56
  You can only do it like once a day though.
• 1:14:57
  So you can technically do it right now and be fine.
• 1:14:59
  Can I not reach that? Go with it, yeah.
• 1:15:01
  You can just turn over and just whack them.
• 1:15:05
  Do 20, then see if you hit +5. Oh my God.
• 1:15:07
  Oh my God. Oh my God.
• 1:15:09
  I hit a 20. No, you did not.
• 1:15:10
  No, you did. Not he did He did he.
• 1:15:12
  He rolled. Confirmed.
• 1:15:13
  Roll confirmed. Roll it again, roll again, roll
• 1:15:15
  again. I got 14. +5 is 19. 19 What?
• 1:15:20
  Did he get to do a? Lot sounds like.
• 1:15:22
  Yeah, apparently I have. Yeah, when you confirm crit so.
• 1:15:24
  When you confirm, go ahead. When you roll a Nat 20 in most
• 1:15:28
  DND sessions when you roll a Nat 20 it's you just double damage.
• 1:15:31
  But some some DMS, hours included, do this thing where if
• 1:15:34
  you roll a Nat 20, you roll to confirm, and if your second roll
• 1:15:37
  beats the AC of the creature, you get something special that
• 1:15:41
  happens when you attack. Is that right?
• 1:15:43
  Yes. Yes, is that?
• 1:15:44
  What happened? Yeah, he's.
• 1:15:45
  Yeah, he's just looking at the list right now.
• 1:15:46
  He's. Looking at what they give you.
• 1:15:50
  OK, split the horizon. When Arici lands this critical
• 1:15:54
  hit, it's not subtle effect. You do normal critical damage,
• 1:15:58
  so it's times 2 damage. So you roll that 12 twice and
• 1:16:00
  add the. Force of your strike cleaves
• 1:16:02
  through guard and momentum, carrying them aloft.
• 1:16:06
  The target must succeed on ADC 13 Strength save or be knocked
• 1:16:10
  prone and pushed 15 feet back. I don't think that matters.
• 1:16:14
  I'm pretty sure this thing's dead.
• 1:16:15
  If they collide with a wall, tree, or any other type of
• 1:16:18
  thing, including another creature, they take additional
• 1:16:21
  1D6 bludgeoning damage and collided creature must also roll
• 1:16:24
  and fall prone and blah blah blah blah blah.
• 1:16:26
  Long story short, essentially. OK, I was gonna.
• 1:16:29
  Say he could do something really cool, but at that that just be
• 1:16:31
  real cool. I'm also just thinking like
• 1:16:33
  partly has an axe. The angle's right to smack right
• 1:16:37
  into. The no I was going to think he
• 1:16:39
  could technically cleave his axe into him, grab him and swing him
• 1:16:44
  around to hit the other guy. Is there another one?
• 1:16:46
  I think he's. Yeah, no, he's right next.
• 1:16:48
  He's right next to him, the boss.
• 1:16:50
  He's right next to the. I'm saying he could cleave the
• 1:16:52
  goblin with. 15 feet. Grabbing it and slamming it to
• 1:16:56
  the back of the other one. I'll allow it because it just
• 1:16:58
  sounds pretty. Yeah, the only thing is like, if
• 1:17:01
  this guy feels the strength save, he's going into me.
• 1:17:03
  Yeah, but. Worth it?
• 1:17:07
  I mean, he is, he is just, he is kind of he's, he's -1 he's -1
• 1:17:10
  intelligence 2 to 12. So 8.
• 1:17:13
  Wait, was that 899? And 8-9 and eight?
• 1:17:17
  Plus you're 17 + 3. 20. 2020 I don't even.
• 1:17:22
  Think there's a need to roll? Yeah, honestly.
• 1:17:26
  Well he passed the save. So wait, which?
• 1:17:28
  Which guy was this? Right here.
• 1:17:30
  Oh no, he did not pass the save. So that one so literally dead
• 1:17:35
  goblin just holding up you caught his spine just enough,
• 1:17:39
  completely severed everything else, but just just hooked a
• 1:17:42
  little on the spine. The body comes flying around,
• 1:17:45
  Slams into his leader and let's see if it stops there.
• 1:17:51
  Slams into leader. Does he still take the 1D6
• 1:17:54
  damage? Oh, he's dead, but so leader
• 1:17:56
  just kind of and bats slightly off to the side, standing his
• 1:18:00
  ground, and then just slings his spear out, ready to go.
• 1:18:03
  Let me. Covered in goblin blood too
• 1:18:05
  because I probably would have splatter.
• 1:18:07
  Hey buddy, you might want to wipe your face off.
• 1:18:09
  I think your friends on it. Jesus Christ, one of the Leo.
• 1:18:14
  'S first line I. Know.
• 1:18:17
  Still. Brutal.
• 1:18:19
  Vallejos. Look at him with the spear.
• 1:18:20
  What you're going to do? Stab me?
• 1:18:21
  I'll make you won't fuck tard do a pussy.
• 1:18:24
  Follow the Ross Ring. No.
• 1:18:32
  What's that one? Yeah, just look to you and guys.
• 1:18:44
  Hey, wipe your face off, buddy. You have my friend on it.
• 1:18:53
  So. Fuck how the terms are tables.
• 1:18:58
  Hey, it's the boss's turn. Hey, do it.
• 1:19:00
  Stab me. Bitch, you won't.
• 1:19:02
  You won't do it, pussy. Hey.
• 1:19:05
  Looks down at you holding the spear and just simply goes.
• 1:19:08
  Dude, you want to die? Or maybe a?
• 1:19:10
  Little bit your mom chokes on Dicks for a living.
• 1:19:14
  Your dad fucked dudes. He didn't like that.
• 1:19:19
  It is a pleasure to call. No, don't guess.
• 1:19:23
  Any crit? I'm guessing he crit.
• 1:19:25
  Oh please describe it please in detail.
• 1:19:31
  This is a monumental moment, if I am correct.
• 1:19:36
  I mean the death stage start all over again.
• 1:19:41
  Unless no. Curse my hubris, hmm, I say.
• 1:19:44
  Curse my hubris. Unless, damn it, he was going to
• 1:19:49
  do something different and then you pissed him off.
• 1:19:54
  I've done that before. Tough father off he first died.
• 1:19:59
  Come on, do it. What you want with your pussy
• 1:20:02
  stabs me. I learned from you dad.
• 1:20:06
  I'm proud of you. Oh my God, he's a named
• 1:20:08
  character. What am I doing?
• 1:20:10
  Shut up, time. That one, that's a one that
• 1:20:15
  doesn't confirm. Yeah, it does.
• 1:20:16
  Shut up, Ty you. Don't want to be dead?
• 1:20:19
  I'm unconscious. Wouldn't he have?
• 1:20:21
  You're not unconscious anymore. Well, I'm down.
• 1:20:23
  Why did I say it like that? Unconscious.
• 1:20:25
  Unconscious, but I am prone. Yeah, he never did get up.
• 1:20:29
  It's because he's tied. Up exactly.
• 1:20:33
  You couldn't get up. He got tied up and.
• 1:20:35
  Robbed me into a pig boy. You got tied up and robbed.
• 1:20:40
  Didn't even get. Robbed, I think.
• 1:20:41
  I think you just got murdered. Now, I mean, yeah, you, you, you
• 1:20:45
  take 16 damage just. One hit, huh?
• 1:20:49
  Just one hit. So basically you're tied up, he
• 1:20:52
  threatens you with his spear, you said some shit and then he
• 1:20:54
  was like. Just right through the fucking
• 1:20:58
  liver again. Again.
• 1:21:02
  And after he does that, that changes some things for him and
• 1:21:07
  he starts taking off back into the darkness.
• 1:21:13
  He's going to take. You get an opportunity attack,
• 1:21:17
  you get an opportunity attack, you got it.
• 1:21:21
  That's what I was going for. You first?
• 1:21:23
  OK, roll your roll your D20. Just regular attack.
• 1:21:25
  Yeah, just regular attack. If you're rolling, attack I.
• 1:21:27
  Got a 10 + 3? That's a + 5.
• 1:21:30
  It's 5 the reason for the attack, yeah.
• 1:21:33
  I don't think a 15 hit him. I don't think it does.
• 1:21:36
  I think he had AC 16 I think. It's a miss.
• 1:21:38
  Dang, right. Yes.
• 1:21:41
  There he did it 19. There he got.
• 1:21:43
  Him. Five damage.
• 1:21:45
  Yeah, 2:00 and 1:00. Just slash across the back.
• 1:21:51
  Bitch. He keeps running.
• 1:21:53
  He he went through the grease, so this movement got heft.
• 1:21:55
  Oh, oh, wait, no, no, he no he he would have kept going.
• 1:22:01
  It's ADC 13. He didn't end his movement in
• 1:22:04
  the grease. He was able to get through the
• 1:22:06
  grease and just out of. It OK, OK.
• 1:22:08
  And with that. We're just about to see in the
• 1:22:10
  Run in the Darkness. It's neighbor's turn.
• 1:22:12
  Hoshiko, Hoshiko, there's one bullet left.
• 1:22:17
  All right. No, I'm going to be.
• 1:22:19
  I'm going to pull out. The wait wait.
• 1:22:22
  Whose phone was that? Yeah, I'm going to pull out the
• 1:22:25
  the Shiriko. Siriko and I'm.
• 1:22:28
  Going to. Suave I'm right in?
• 1:22:29
  The back flat decks roll. Hey, 18.
• 1:22:35
  That's a hit. Dara pulls out Hoshiko from the
• 1:22:39
  tit cleave or the waistband and Hiroshikiko whips it out to you.
• 1:22:46
  These and. Pops them.
• 1:22:46
  Oh my God. Did he crit less anything or no?
• 1:22:50
  You're not professional so when you have your back's.
• 1:22:54
  Mom, 1111. He's doing math.
• 1:22:56
  Sure. I.
• 1:22:59
  Do. Your stun says your stun says Oh
• 1:23:02
  yeah, everybody roll me ADC. What's the DC?
• 1:23:05
  I'm down. What was it?
• 1:23:06
  Oh yeah, yeah, he's already. Done.
• 1:23:06
  He doesn't have to do it. What was it Con?
• 1:23:09
  No, it was Constitution. Constitution said D20.
• 1:23:13
  Plus your con. Which I think.
• 1:23:15
  There's normal con wait does your proficiency?
• 1:23:19
  Yeah, and and and Ricci has has something gone +2?
• 1:23:24
  So then you have a, you have a + 4 because you have proficiency
• 1:23:26
  in it. You got a 15 total.
• 1:23:29
  It was 15. I thought it was 13.
• 1:23:30
  You said +4. Right.
• 1:23:32
  Yeah, if you have I. Don't remember either.
• 1:23:34
  Hey followers, you guys let us know if we were wrong, but it's
• 1:23:36
  a 13. Yeah, it should happen.
• 1:23:38
  Yeah, if he's. If Griff passed all.
• 1:23:40
  Right. He.
• 1:23:41
  He. Got 15 last.
• 1:23:43
  Pass Bring him up. But he said. 1313, OK, I got 15.
• 1:23:49
  I'm saying we both did. Yeah, we both got 15.
• 1:23:55
  Basically just shot through the shoulder.
• 1:23:57
  Just just roll it. I.
• 1:24:02
  Got the as you fire just kind of just kind of goes through and
• 1:24:06
  you guys, all of you, I think besides you are able to kind of
• 1:24:10
  just shake it off and The Cave wall and everything just kind of
• 1:24:14
  starts to rumble it. But it settles again.
• 1:24:20
  I can tell you from experience not a single person in that cave
• 1:24:23
  is hearing anything with that. Then you're just going to hear
• 1:24:32
  it. Is Vallejo's turn your son?
• 1:24:35
  Yeah. Oh yeah.
• 1:24:36
  Can't do nothing. I mean, you shot the guy I want.
• 1:24:40
  To run out. Don't worry, I'm right behind
• 1:24:43
  them. You have dark vision?
• 1:24:46
  No, you're half work. Yeah, one eye has a thing.
• 1:24:51
  Just only one eye. Can see in the.
• 1:24:53
  Dark. I'm half orc.
• 1:24:55
  I only got it in this one. Human, human, human Orc.
• 1:25:00
  Griff. I'm Griff.
• 1:25:04
  Get him Griff. He dropped his fucking bow and
• 1:25:06
  arrow. Is he running for him?
• 1:25:10
  He was, Griff goes running and just thought he got thought he
• 1:25:17
  did all right. And all of a sudden, oh fuck my
• 1:25:21
  head. Hi, Dad.
• 1:25:24
  He just, he just falls over just looking at you.
• 1:25:26
  Unconscious election. The graft.
• 1:25:28
  Dad, No. Way though, is this how you
• 1:25:30
  feel? Brother Hayes, AH.
• 1:25:34
  OK. How's the Houston already?
• 1:25:36
  Goblins are dead. OK, OK.
• 1:25:39
  Merry Christmas is at. The bottom of the initiative.
• 1:25:42
  Yeah, I heard you say I did it. Let's see here.
• 1:25:44
  OK, well, I didn't relive my crossbow, so don't shoot.
• 1:25:47
  Oh, OK, let's see here. Make sure I make him read this
• 1:25:50
  for brother Hayes sees sees the big bad little goblin running
• 1:25:54
  away, the one who was talking smack or and stabbed him.
• 1:25:57
  He's in, he lights. He lights.
• 1:25:59
  A good old Jay quickly takes a good hit.
• 1:26:02
  And after taking a fat RIP a good glob of ash, he flicks it
• 1:26:07
  towards him, casting Sacred Flame.
• 1:26:10
  And he rolled me a deck save. Because I'm going to lose my.
• 1:26:14
  Eyebrows. Well, it wasn't the matter.
• 1:26:15
  I can target him. I'm pretty much flicking Ash at
• 1:26:17
  him. Holy Ash.
• 1:26:19
  Oh, Lena's about to do some fucking tricky.
• 1:26:21
  Highlander. Is it my birthday?
• 1:26:23
  OK, let's see. What do?
• 1:26:25
  You get. Hang on, I forgot what is you
• 1:26:29
  said Dex. Yeah, Dex.
• 1:26:31
  Turns out he's actually really good at that.
• 1:26:33
  I mean he probably is, but he didn't do great so I just need
• 1:26:37
  to see he got a 13. He beat it.
• 1:26:41
  He barely just met it. He and you said me beats it,
• 1:26:44
  damn it. He's nimble, he's goblin.
• 1:26:47
  He he's slippery in the snap. I'm not just after just seeing
• 1:26:51
  him as fuck. I think wait I might be able to
• 1:26:54
  do something depends on what it is.
• 1:26:56
  I yes, I can, I should, I can do it since I'm, I only move I can,
• 1:27:02
  I still have my movement. So I will move just a little tad
• 1:27:05
  bit up when with my bonus actions, I will get down to
• 1:27:09
  father ostrich and cast healing word.
• 1:27:13
  But he goes down. He goes down.
• 1:27:16
  What's it called to father ostrich here and he is
• 1:27:19
  whispering this to to him. So here he goes.
• 1:27:24
  Get back up, old man. You're coming with me alive.
• 1:27:29
  He just. Grabs him by his like thing and
• 1:27:31
  just pulls him back up to standing casting healing healing
• 1:27:36
  word. No death says for you I need to
• 1:27:39
  do 4. How much 7 after telling him
• 1:27:42
  he's coming back alive with me. Dead or alive, you're coming
• 1:27:46
  with me. You're.
• 1:27:47
  Coming. With me.
• 1:27:53
  Father, I'll treat your turn. You're you're conscious.
• 1:27:55
  Oh yeah, and back up, still laying down, and you did good.
• 1:28:01
  Morning brother. Oh God, Griff's down too.
• 1:28:03
  I forgot. No, he's alright.
• 1:28:04
  He's just, he's just embarrassed almost after every episode since
• 1:28:07
  Griff has joined. Bathroom Wizard will be like
• 1:28:10
  Poor Griff man. There's not much I can do.
• 1:28:15
  Throw your hourglass at him. Father, I was going to use his
• 1:28:18
  bonus action to get Finger Gun ready.
• 1:28:20
  All right, and you're going to use the action cast said finger
• 1:28:23
  gun. All right. 513 misses. 13
• 1:28:29
  misses. 13 misses God, he's just oh.
• 1:28:34
  Fuck. Bitch.
• 1:28:37
  Flick Goober fire at him and all kinds of stuff.
• 1:28:40
  Is that it? Yeah yeah.
• 1:28:43
  Or is she? Fuck.
• 1:28:45
  Second, I've moved run. I mean.
• 1:28:47
  Save your friends, Yeah, but. You.
• 1:28:50
  Don't have to make a deck, say. OK.
• 1:28:52
  Is the. Is the oil going to be hard?
• 1:28:54
  It shouldn't be. No.
• 1:28:56
  It just depends on what you. Roll.
• 1:28:57
  Yeah, you roll D20 plus your decks.
• 1:28:59
  I don't. You slipped you prone.
• 1:29:01
  You slipped, you prone. I ate.
• 1:29:04
  It OH. Goblin boss takes off, just
• 1:29:08
  disappearing into the darkness and your left dark open tunnel
• 1:29:14
  cave. Really good.
• 1:29:16
  You actually did really good for the.
• 1:29:17
  Damage, I said. No.
• 1:29:19
  You may or may not die next time.
• 1:29:34
  We'd also live. Thanks for watching Stroking out
• 1:29:43
  over here. I found him in the closet the
• 1:29:48
  other night with a tie around his neck and just dangling there
• 1:29:51
  and it was just dangling there. My pants may or may not have
• 1:29:54
  been around their ankles. Do you mind your own damn
• 1:29:56
  business? You were in my house.
• 1:30:03
  We'd also we'd like to give a special shout out to Batman of
• 1:30:07
  Charlotte on TikTok. Just dude making his own Batman
• 1:30:10
  series and having fun. His Batman is based off Bruce
• 1:30:12
  Wayne at the end of the Flashpoint paradox when he gets
• 1:30:15
  the letter from Flash from his dad.
• 1:30:17
  He wrote the idea of Bruce adapting his father's logo to be
• 1:30:20
  close to his memory. His Batman is based on the 2004
• 1:30:25
  Batman series, BTAS and the Arkham universe.
• 1:30:28
  We'd also like to give some shout outs to some of our
• 1:30:31
  followers recent or long time. We got Dungeons for Dummies,
• 1:30:35
  David Lamoe, Waking Delirium, Embers of Darkness, Chura Andy
• 1:30:41
  anime, Gabriel Ashford, Hey DM Hayes, Mugomed Tavern, Coast
• 1:30:48
  Cauldron crafts, G7 Kitsune Kai Barbarian Wizard, Pocket DM
• 1:30:55
  Gamers Paradise, Dice Goblins Workshop, Bathrobe wizard.
• 1:31:01
  Why are we shouting out Bathrobe Wizard?
• 1:31:02
  Which out now bathrobe wizard because he made a 6 minute long.
• 1:31:06
  What's the word? I'm looking for?
• 1:31:08
  Review, Review. That's the one review He made, a
• 1:31:11
  6 minute long review of our podcast on his TikTok and it's
• 1:31:15
  pretty good and it's pretty solid.
• 1:31:17
  Flat out it was very, you know, he, he was, he was very honest.
• 1:31:21
  He flat out said like, hey, you know, they're in their infancy.
• 1:31:23
  They're they're starting off, you know, so it, it starts off a
• 1:31:26
  little weak. The, the audio's a little when
• 1:31:29
  it gets going. But he already said he's like,
• 1:31:31
  I'm 10, I'm 10 episodes in. I'm digging it.
• 1:31:34
  And he said he gave us 10 out of bathrobes. 10 bathrobes.
• 1:31:41
  That's a long. One I know, right?
• 1:31:49
  I could probably hold it for longer.
• 1:31:51
  I believe you. A lot of wind beneath your
• 1:31:53
  wings. Shout out The Dirty little club.
• 1:31:56
  Hell yeah. I like it.
• 1:31:59
  Oh yeah, also shout out Earth for always keeping me standing,
• 1:32:05
  you know, keeping me tied to the ground.
• 1:32:10
  Shout out to gasoline. Wouldn't be able to get places
• 1:32:13
  as quickly without that shit. Fossil fuels, yeah.
• 1:32:17
  Thank you dinosaurs for going extinct so we could drive.
• 1:32:21
  Shout out nicotine. I'd probably be in jail for
• 1:32:24
  murder if it wasn't for you. Same with caffeine hardcore.
• 1:32:29
  This is true, I just didn't let out a big exhale.
• 1:32:31
  Shout out electricity and Wi-Fi for us being able to, you know,
• 1:32:34
  do this shit. Shout out walls.
• 1:32:40
  Walls go hard. If it wasn't for walls, everyone
• 1:32:43
  would know what my date looks like.
• 1:32:48
  They keep us safe. Exactly, they keep us safe from
• 1:32:52
  the weather and stuff. Keep us.
• 1:32:54
  Keep us. You know, Knock, knock.
• 1:32:56
  Who's there? Oh, doors.
• 1:32:59
  Outdoors and doorknobs. Dude, you know what?
• 1:33:05
  You know what walls are without doors?
• 1:33:07
  Man traps. Exactly.
• 1:33:10
  Also shout out windows for letting me be able to look out
• 1:33:13
  of fucking walls without having to hush the sunlight or the
• 1:33:16
  weather. You know, shout out the guy who
• 1:33:18
  invented Worcestershire sauce. When you wash your sister sauce.
• 1:33:22
  I don't know what the fuck is in that shit, but it's pretty good.
• 1:33:26
  Shout out the guy that invented the will Goat right there.
• 1:33:30
  Like when you die and you leave your stuff to people.
• 1:33:33
  No, the wheel like the round thing that goes on vehicles.
• 1:33:39
  Right. Yeah, also shout out to whoever
• 1:33:44
  looked at a cow and wanted to drink the shit that came out of
• 1:33:46
  its utter fucking love milk. Yeah, I feel like that guy was
• 1:33:50
  probably a pervert. Shout out shoes bro.
• 1:33:54
  Man, have you ever gotten a fucking one of those spurs in
• 1:33:58
  your feet? Yeah, shoot.
• 1:34:00
  Stop that. I've had like 10 of them in my
• 1:34:02
  foot at once. I went to run through the grass
• 1:34:05
  just fucking immediately dropped.
• 1:34:08
  It's even worse when it gets in between the toes.
• 1:34:11
  Oh you know who I'm not giving a shout out to?
• 1:34:13
  Fuck the dude that made bub wire.
• 1:34:15
  That shit fucked me up when I was in high school.
• 1:34:18
  I didn't know there was bubbed wire on this fence.
• 1:34:20
  I went to run past it full Sprint folded.
• 1:34:23
  I kissed my kneecaps. Fuck bubbed wire bro what else
• 1:34:31
  is there? Shout out the dude that made
• 1:34:33
  clothes. It's pretty fucking cool.
• 1:34:35
  I think it was Adam. Modesty.
• 1:34:40
  Hell yeah. Shut out modesty.
• 1:34:43
  Shout out God. Shout out my parents.
• 1:34:53
  Fuck yeah, my parents cool as hell.
• 1:34:55
  You wouldn't be here without it. Yeah, I wouldn't be here without
• 1:34:58
  him. I mean, I wasn't planned, but I
• 1:35:00
  still wouldn't be here without him.
• 1:35:02
  I was a happy accident. Yeah, my dad had a .05% chance
• 1:35:06
  to get someone pregnant. Boom, here I am.
• 1:35:09
  Sassafras. It's a boy.
• 1:35:12
  Shout out Walmart y'all always got what I need sometimes.
• 1:35:19
  To shout out fucking gooey caramel wrapped in chocolate.
• 1:35:22
  Hell yeah. Shout out Reese's.
• 1:35:24
  Got a fucking? Peanut butter and chocolate.
• 1:35:27
  Oh, that's a fucking combo. You know they recently did the
• 1:35:30
  Reese's with cookies and cream. They did Oreo Reese's.
• 1:35:34
  That too. That's literally Reese's with
• 1:35:37
  cookies and cream. But no, they did.
• 1:35:38
  Flat out. They did shut up.
• 1:35:41
  Am I wrong? Are.
• 1:35:42
  You. Going to look at me and tell me
• 1:35:44
  that I'm wrong. She was crowned and came down in
• 1:35:45
  a bubble dog. Shout out Gatorade.
• 1:35:53
  It's like water but with flavor. Fuck yeah.
• 1:35:55
  Electrolytes. Yeah, and electrolytes keep you
• 1:35:58
  going. They say it's better than water.
• 1:36:00
  I don't believe that. There's probably a good amount
• 1:36:02
  of sugar in this shit. Don't.
• 1:36:05
  Read the label. Don't do it.
• 1:36:08
  Don't do it. I.
• 1:36:08
  Mean 34g isn't crazy, but this is only a fucking 20 oz bottle.
• 1:36:13
  That's more than a fucking gram. An ounce.
• 1:36:17
  Never mind Gatorade. Sugar, your shit, fucking
• 1:36:19
  Gatorade. You know.
• 1:36:22
  Wait, Gatorade, Propel. I bet that shit got barely any
• 1:36:25
  sugar in it. I love propel.
• 1:36:26
  Propel good. I drink the shit out of that
• 1:36:28
  Berry or Kiwi. To Kiwi.
• 1:36:32
  There's one more flavor, but I don't think I've ever had.
• 1:36:35
  Oh shout out Doritos. Fucking Hispanic soda that goes
• 1:36:38
  hard as shit. I don't think there's a flavor
• 1:36:41
  of Doritos I don't like. Except Tamaran.
• 1:36:43
  I just don't like Tamaran though.
• 1:36:45
  I don't like that word. It's it's a weird fruit.
• 1:36:48
  I like it upsets me. What else was shouting out?
• 1:36:51
  Light bulbs, bro. Thomas Edison.
• 1:36:56
  Vallejo's dead. Oh yeah, Vallejo's dead.
• 1:36:59
  Spoiler. Yeah.
• 1:37:05
  Shout out Grandma's my Nana goes HUD, you make the best lasagna.
• 1:37:11
  Also she makes this fucking chicken and rice casserole
• 1:37:14
  baller. A little bit of soy sauce on
• 1:37:16
  that. I'm so.
• 1:37:17
  Hungry. Shout out Taco Bell bro.
• 1:37:20
  Dude, the Mexican food trucks outside, Yeah, that's true.
• 1:37:23
  You want to get some fucking Taco?
• 1:37:25
  Do you want to get the burritos? How much do they cost?
• 1:37:27
  I have no idea. Let's figure it out.
• 1:37:30
  You leaned into that like you were.
• 1:37:34
  Oh yeah, shout out some other podcasts.
• 1:37:36
  I like that You should know podcast.
• 1:37:37
  Fucking love that you should know podcast.
• 1:37:40
  Peyton and Cam Hilarious other dungeons and Dragons podcast.
• 1:37:44
  I go hug Dungeons and Daddies. I'm on season 2.
• 1:37:46
  Season 1 was fucking baller. I literally almost cried on one
• 1:37:50
  of the episodes dude. Legends of Adventures.
• 1:37:52
  Legends of adventures Love legends of adventures.
• 1:37:55
  Bathroom Wizard compared us to legends of adventures.
• 1:37:58
  Diddy, Yeah. Damn, that's crazy.
• 1:38:01
  I mean, to be fair, Legend of Evanders is one of the bigger
• 1:38:04
  podcasts that's up there. Like there's two podcasts that I
• 1:38:07
  think of as the like big two, but I put Legend of Evanders
• 1:38:10
  right under them. And the big two, obviously
• 1:38:11
  Critical Role in Dimension 20. My favorite ones, no offense to
• 1:38:15
  Critical Role, like Critical Role to me is I, I'm not, I'm
• 1:38:18
  not dissing them. I've watched them.
• 1:38:19
  I like them and they've been one of my inspirations to start this
• 1:38:22
  whole thing. But my big inspiration to start
• 1:38:26
  this whole podcast, I'm going to shout them out right now is the
• 1:38:28
  Glass Cannon podcast. They weren't even even my first
• 1:38:31
  one. Nat Nat Nat Pod, NADDPOD.
• 1:38:35
  They're awesome too. They were the first one I
• 1:38:37
  listened to, but the one that really like, inspired and
• 1:38:39
  motivated me to start doing this was the Glass Cannon Podcast.
• 1:38:43
  I love those guys. Their giant Slayer campaign is
• 1:38:46
  fucking awesome. It's over 300 episodes.
• 1:38:48
  They did it for over three years, four years, five years.
• 1:38:51
  I can't even remember right now, but they all had jobs doing
• 1:38:54
  their own thing. They just got together weekly
• 1:38:57
  and they do their podcast and it's beautiful.
• 1:39:00
  I love it. I certainly listen last Canon
• 1:39:02
  podcast, but the first DND podcast I ever listened to was
• 1:39:06
  Fantasy High by Dimension 20, which did fucking hilarious,
• 1:39:10
  hilarious podcast. If I only listened to freshmen
• 1:39:13
  and sophomore year, I still need to listen to junior and senior
• 1:39:15
  year. I don't even know if they've
• 1:39:16
  started senior year. But after them I started
• 1:39:19
  listening to the Legend of Evantress and I'm like, I'm not
• 1:39:22
  caught up with the Once Upon a Witch Light story because I
• 1:39:25
  started listening dungeon daddies.
• 1:39:27
  So I'm probably like, I don't know, fucking 9 episodes behind
• 1:39:32
  to being caught up. Yeah, yeah, that happens to me
• 1:39:34
  because like once I once I find a podcast and I start listening
• 1:39:38
  to it, like I'm like I'm loyal to that one.
• 1:39:40
  Like it's like I got to finish this one and I won't touch
• 1:39:42
  another one. Also Legend of Adventures has a
• 1:39:44
  space theme podcast. That shit goes hard.
• 1:39:46
  I fucking love that shit. I cannot remember Stotus
• 1:39:48
  Rhapsody. That's what's called.
• 1:39:49
  It's called Sodus Rhapsody and Mace the one.
• 1:39:53
  The guy that plays Gideon and the Once Upon a Witch Light
• 1:39:55
  podcast. He's the DM of the Stardust
• 1:39:58
  Rhapsody one. Fucker.
• 1:40:28
  The candle flickers, burns undone.
• 1:40:32
  The shadow moves before the sun. Who whispered a word already
• 1:40:38
  said. The living breath inside the
• 1:40:41
  dead. The clock forgets which way to
• 1:40:45
  turn. The future waits for us to learn
• 1:40:49
  that every step we thought we chose was called in paths we
• 1:40:54
  never know. Did you hear it?
• 1:40:59
  Your name before it's spoken? Did you feel it the moment
• 1:41:07
  already broken? Turn it back.
• 1:41:14
  Let the past rewrite the the grains of time fall like ghosts,
• 1:41:21
  count the lies we almost chose Take by take.
• 1:41:26
  We unwind, lose the present, break the light.
• 1:41:31
  We are it goes, we are glass shatters future in the.
• 1:41:46
  We stood here once or twice, almost same.
• 1:41:50
  The same bodies on the floor, the same mistake, the same last
• 1:41:56
  breath. We learn too late, then meet our
• 1:41:59
  death. But something breaks, something
• 1:42:02
  raises the facts. You will inside the mist, single
• 1:42:07
  choice that shifts the threat. And now the dead are not yet
• 1:42:12
  dead.