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Transcript

How Do I Stop Being the Financial Safety Net for My Loved Ones? · Becoming Financially Confident

• 0:37
  Have
• 0:37
  you
• 0:37
  ever
• 0:38
  felt
• 0:38
  like
• 0:38
  the
• 0:38
  emergency
• 0:39
  fund
• 0:39
  for
• 0:39
  everyone
• 0:40
  else's
• 0:40
  life?
• 0:41
  The
• 0:42
  call
• 0:42
  comes
• 0:42
  in,
• 0:43
  the
• 0:43
  crisis
• 0:44
  unfolds,
• 0:45
  and
• 0:46
  somehow
• 0:46
  you're
• 0:47
  always
• 0:47
  the
• 0:47
  solution
• 0:49
  again.
• 0:51
  You
• 0:51
  love
• 0:51
  them,
• 0:52
  you
• 0:52
  care
• 0:53
  deeply
• 0:53
  for
• 0:53
  them,
• 0:54
  but
• 0:55
  you
• 0:55
  also
• 0:55
  feel
• 0:56
  this
• 0:56
  quiet
• 0:56
  strain
• 0:57
  on
• 0:57
  your
• 0:57
  own
• 0:58
  household.
• 1:00
  And
• 1:00
  now
• 1:00
  you're
• 1:00
  stuck
• 1:00
  again.
• 1:02
  You're
• 1:02
  stuck
• 1:02
  between
• 1:03
  compassion
• 1:03
  and
• 1:04
  responsibility.
• 1:06
  Friend.
• 1:07
  Love
• 1:07
  does
• 1:07
  not
• 1:07
  require
• 1:08
  self
• 1:08
  destruction.
• 1:31
  Hey
• 1:32
  friend.
• 1:32
  Welcome
• 1:33
  to
• 1:33
  Financially
• 1:33
  Confident
• 1:34
  Christian.
• 1:34
  I'm
• 1:35
  Ralph
• 1:35
  Estep
• 1:36
  Jr.
• 1:37
  Every
• 1:37
  day
• 1:37
  on
• 1:37
  this
• 1:37
  show
• 1:38
  my
• 1:38
  goal
• 1:38
  is
• 1:38
  to
• 1:38
  help
• 1:39
  you
• 1:39
  break
• 1:39
  that
• 1:39
  cycle
• 1:40
  of
• 1:40
  financial
• 1:40
  shame
• 1:41
  and
• 1:42
  live
• 1:42
  with
• 1:42
  confidence.
• 1:43
  And
• 1:44
  today's
• 1:44
  topic
• 1:44
  is
• 1:44
  a
• 1:45
  how
• 1:45
  to
• 1:45
  stop
• 1:45
  being
• 1:45
  the
• 1:46
  financial
• 1:46
  safety
• 1:47
  net
• 1:47
  for
• 1:47
  your
• 1:47
  loved
• 1:48
  ones.
• 1:49
  It's
• 1:49
  a
• 1:49
  question
• 1:49
  I
• 1:50
  get
• 1:50
  all
• 1:50
  the
• 1:50
  time.
• 1:50
  We
• 1:50
  got
• 1:51
  a
• 1:51
  great
• 1:51
  question
• 1:51
  today.
• 1:52
  Listener
• 1:52
  writes
• 1:53
  this
• 1:53
  Ralph
• 1:54
  A
• 1:54
  loved
• 1:54
  one
• 1:55
  keeps
• 1:55
  expecting
• 1:55
  me
• 1:56
  to
• 1:56
  fix
• 1:56
  the
• 1:56
  financial
• 1:57
  messes
• 1:57
  they
• 1:57
  create.
• 1:59
  Every
• 1:59
  time
• 2:00
  I
• 2:00
  feel
• 2:01
  pulled
• 2:01
  in
• 2:01
  two
• 2:01
  directions.
• 2:03
  Yes,
• 2:03
  I
• 2:03
  care
• 2:04
  about
• 2:04
  them
• 2:04
  deeply
• 2:05
  and
• 2:06
  I
• 2:06
  don't
• 2:06
  want
• 2:06
  to
• 2:06
  seem
• 2:06
  cold
• 2:07
  or
• 2:07
  selfish.
• 2:09
  At
• 2:09
  the
• 2:09
  same
• 2:09
  time,
• 2:09
  I
• 2:10
  feel
• 2:10
  the
• 2:10
  weight
• 2:10
  it
• 2:10
  puts
• 2:10
  on
• 2:11
  my
• 2:11
  own
• 2:11
  household.
• 2:13
  I'm
• 2:13
  always
• 2:13
  torn
• 2:14
  between
• 2:14
  compassion
• 2:15
  and
• 2:15
  responsibility.
• 2:17
  How
• 2:17
  do
• 2:17
  I
• 2:18
  set
• 2:18
  a
• 2:18
  boundary
• 2:18
  that's
• 2:19
  loving
• 2:20
  while
• 2:20
  still
• 2:20
  protecting
• 2:21
  my
• 2:21
  family
• 2:22
  and
• 2:22
  our
• 2:23
  future?
• 2:25
  I
• 2:25
  think
• 2:25
  this
• 2:25
  is
• 2:25
  one
• 2:26
  of
• 2:26
  the
• 2:26
  most
• 2:26
  common
• 2:26
  things
• 2:27
  that
• 2:27
  a
• 2:27
  lot
• 2:27
  of
• 2:27
  people
• 2:28
  deal
• 2:28
  with
• 2:30
  and
• 2:30
  it's
• 2:30
  something
• 2:30
  I
• 2:31
  really
• 2:31
  want
• 2:31
  to
• 2:31
  lean
• 2:31
  into
• 2:31
  today
• 2:33
  because
• 2:33
  I
• 2:34
  want
• 2:34
  to
• 2:34
  start
• 2:34
  by
• 2:34
  giving
• 2:34
  you
• 2:35
  this
• 2:35
  big
• 2:35
  idea.
• 2:37
  Compassion
• 2:38
  without
• 2:38
  boundaries
• 2:39
  creates
• 2:39
  cycles,
• 2:40
  not
• 2:40
  healing.
• 2:42
  And
• 2:42
  I
• 2:42
  want
• 2:42
  to
• 2:42
  say
• 2:42
  that
• 2:43
  again
• 2:43
  because
• 2:43
  that's
• 2:43
  one
• 2:43
  of
• 2:43
  the
• 2:44
  things
• 2:44
  we
• 2:44
  really
• 2:44
  got
• 2:44
  to
• 2:44
  ground
• 2:45
  our
• 2:45
  discussion
• 2:45
  in
• 2:46
  today.
• 2:46
  Compassion
• 2:47
  without
• 2:48
  boundaries
• 2:48
  creates
• 2:49
  cycles,
• 2:51
  not
• 2:51
  healing.
• 2:53
  Well,
• 2:53
  how
• 2:54
  do
• 2:54
  we
• 2:54
  break
• 2:54
  those
• 2:54
  cycles?
• 2:56
  The
• 2:57
  first
• 2:57
  thing
• 2:57
  you've
• 2:57
  got
• 2:57
  to
• 2:57
  do
• 2:57
  is
• 2:58
  you've
• 2:58
  got
• 2:58
  to
• 2:58
  separate
• 2:59
  love
• 2:59
  from
• 2:59
  rescue.
• 3:02
  This
• 3:02
  is
• 3:02
  the
• 3:02
  hard
• 3:02
  part.
• 3:04
  See,
• 3:05
  helping
• 3:05
  someone
• 3:05
  occasionally,
• 3:06
  that
• 3:07
  is
• 3:07
  kindness.
• 3:09
  The
• 3:09
  one
• 3:09
  off
• 3:10
  situations.
• 3:11
  You
• 3:11
  know,
• 3:12
  I
• 3:12
  could
• 3:12
  really
• 3:12
  use
• 3:12
  some
• 3:12
  help
• 3:13
  here
• 3:13
  today.
• 3:14
  But
• 3:15
  when
• 3:15
  you're
• 3:15
  rescuing
• 3:16
  someone
• 3:16
  repeatedly,
• 3:17
  that's
• 3:18
  just
• 3:18
  enabling
• 3:19
  them.
• 3:20
  Enabling
• 3:21
  is
• 3:21
  not
• 3:21
  a
• 3:21
  good
• 3:21
  long
• 3:22
  term
• 3:22
  strategy.
• 3:24
  So
• 3:24
  when
• 3:24
  you're
• 3:24
  faced
• 3:25
  with
• 3:25
  these
• 3:25
  situation
• 3:25
  like
• 3:26
  today's
• 3:26
  listener,
• 3:27
  ask
• 3:28
  yourself,
• 3:28
  is
• 3:29
  this
• 3:29
  a
• 3:29
  temporary
• 3:30
  hardship
• 3:31
  or
• 3:31
  is
• 3:31
  it
• 3:32
  really
• 3:32
  repeated
• 3:32
  pattern?
• 3:33
  I
• 3:34
  see
• 3:34
  here
• 3:34
  what
• 3:34
  they
• 3:34
  say
• 3:34
  here.
• 3:34
  It
• 3:35
  says
• 3:36
  help
• 3:36
  them
• 3:37
  fix
• 3:37
  their
• 3:37
  mess
• 3:38
  that
• 3:39
  they
• 3:39
  created.
• 3:40
  And
• 3:40
  every
• 3:40
  time
• 3:42
  I
• 3:42
  don't
• 3:42
  know
• 3:43
  the
• 3:43
  specifics
• 3:43
  of
• 3:44
  this
• 3:44
  situation,
• 3:44
  but
• 3:44
  to
• 3:45
  me
• 3:45
  it
• 3:45
  doesn't
• 3:45
  sound
• 3:45
  like
• 3:45
  a
• 3:46
  temporary
• 3:46
  hardship,
• 3:46
  it
• 3:47
  sounds
• 3:47
  like
• 3:47
  a
• 3:47
  repeated
• 3:48
  pattern.
• 3:51
  And
• 3:51
  so
• 3:51
  if
• 3:52
  your
• 3:52
  help
• 3:52
  prevents
• 3:53
  growth,
• 3:53
  which
• 3:53
  I
• 3:53
  think
• 3:53
  in
• 3:54
  a
• 3:54
  lot
• 3:54
  of
• 3:54
  ways
• 3:56
  if
• 3:56
  it's
• 3:56
  preventing
• 3:57
  growth,
• 3:57
  it
• 3:57
  might
• 3:57
  feel
• 3:58
  loving
• 3:58
  at
• 3:58
  the
• 3:58
  moment,
• 4:00
  but
• 4:00
  it's
• 4:00
  not
• 4:00
  going
• 4:01
  to
• 4:01
  transform
• 4:01
  them.
• 4:02
  It's
• 4:02
  not
• 4:02
  going
• 4:02
  to
• 4:02
  break
• 4:02
  this
• 4:03
  cycle
• 4:03
  that
• 4:03
  they're
• 4:03
  in
• 4:05
  because
• 4:06
  love
• 4:06
  supports
• 4:07
  Responsibility,
• 4:08
  it
• 4:08
  doesn't
• 4:08
  replace
• 4:09
  it.
• 4:10
  And
• 4:10
  I
• 4:10
  think
• 4:10
  so
• 4:10
  many
• 4:10
  of
• 4:11
  us
• 4:11
  feel
• 4:11
  that
• 4:11
  guilt
• 4:11
  because
• 4:12
  of
• 4:12
  that.
• 4:14
  But
• 4:14
  the
• 4:14
  next
• 4:14
  thing
• 4:15
  you've
• 4:15
  got
• 4:15
  to
• 4:15
  do
• 4:15
  is
• 4:15
  you've
• 4:16
  got
• 4:16
  to
• 4:16
  clarify
• 4:17
  your
• 4:17
  primary
• 4:18
  assignment.
• 4:19
  This
• 4:20
  is
• 4:20
  where
• 4:20
  the
• 4:20
  rubber
• 4:20
  meets
• 4:21
  the
• 4:21
  road.
• 4:22
  And
• 4:22
  you
• 4:22
  mentioned
• 4:23
  this
• 4:23
  in
• 4:23
  your
• 4:23
  question.
• 4:24
  Your
• 4:25
  first
• 4:25
  responsibility
• 4:26
  is
• 4:27
  your
• 4:27
  own
• 4:27
  household.
• 4:29
  It's
• 4:30
  great
• 4:30
  to
• 4:30
  help
• 4:30
  others.
• 4:32
  It's
• 4:32
  great
• 4:32
  to
• 4:32
  show
• 4:33
  love
• 4:33
  and
• 4:33
  care
• 4:33
  and
• 4:34
  concern.
• 4:34
  But
• 4:34
  guess
• 4:35
  what,
• 4:35
  you
• 4:35
  got
• 4:36
  to
• 4:36
  worry
• 4:36
  about
• 4:36
  your
• 4:36
  household
• 4:37
  first.
• 4:38
  I've
• 4:38
  said
• 4:39
  this
• 4:39
  on
• 4:39
  the
• 4:39
  show
• 4:39
  many
• 4:39
  times.
• 4:40
  You
• 4:40
  can't
• 4:40
  help
• 4:40
  someone
• 4:41
  else
• 4:42
  to
• 4:42
  your
• 4:42
  place
• 4:42
  is
• 4:43
  secure,
• 4:44
  it's
• 4:44
  got
• 4:44
  to
• 4:44
  be
• 4:44
  stable.
• 4:46
  You
• 4:46
  got
• 4:46
  to
• 4:46
  be
• 4:46
  secure
• 4:47
  and
• 4:47
  you
• 4:47
  got
• 4:47
  to
• 4:47
  have
• 4:47
  future
• 4:48
  provision
• 4:48
  for
• 4:48
  yourself.
• 4:50
  And
• 4:50
  if
• 4:50
  helping
• 4:51
  them
• 4:51
  is
• 4:51
  destabilizing
• 4:52
  your
• 4:52
  home,
• 4:53
  that's
• 4:53
  not
• 4:54
  sacrifice,
• 4:56
  that's
• 4:56
  just
• 4:56
  imbalance.
• 4:59
  Because
• 4:59
  friend,
• 4:59
  God
• 5:00
  never
• 5:00
  calls
• 5:00
  us
• 5:00
  to
• 5:01
  neglect
• 5:01
  our
• 5:01
  own
• 5:02
  stewardship,
• 5:02
  to
• 5:03
  fix
• 5:03
  someone
• 5:03
  else's
• 5:04
  lack
• 5:04
  of
• 5:05
  planning.
• 5:07
  That's
• 5:07
  not
• 5:07
  the
• 5:08
  right
• 5:08
  answer.
• 5:10
  So
• 5:10
  from
• 5:10
  a
• 5:10
  practical
• 5:11
  perspective,
• 5:11
  here's
• 5:12
  one
• 5:12
  thing
• 5:12
  you
• 5:12
  can
• 5:12
  do.
• 5:13
  Decide
• 5:13
  your
• 5:14
  boundary
• 5:14
  before
• 5:14
  the
• 5:15
  next
• 5:15
  request
• 5:15
  even
• 5:16
  comes
• 5:16
  in.
• 5:18
  Don't
• 5:18
  wait
• 5:18
  for
• 5:18
  that
• 5:19
  emotional
• 5:19
  phone
• 5:20
  call
• 5:20
  or
• 5:20
  that
• 5:20
  emotional
• 5:21
  text.
• 5:23
  Decide
• 5:24
  right
• 5:24
  now.
• 5:25
  Set
• 5:25
  some
• 5:25
  rules.
• 5:27
  I've
• 5:28
  shared
• 5:28
  with
• 5:28
  you
• 5:28
  on
• 5:28
  this
• 5:28
  show.
• 5:29
  I
• 5:29
  don't
• 5:29
  loan
• 5:29
  money
• 5:29
  to
• 5:30
  people.
• 5:31
  I
• 5:31
  just
• 5:31
  don't
• 5:31
  do
• 5:32
  it.
• 5:33
  When
• 5:33
  I
• 5:34
  give
• 5:34
  somebody
• 5:34
  money,
• 5:34
  I
• 5:35
  give
• 5:35
  that
• 5:35
  to
• 5:35
  them
• 5:35
  and
• 5:36
  I
• 5:36
  give
• 5:36
  them
• 5:36
  what
• 5:36
  I
• 5:37
  can
• 5:37
  afford
• 5:37
  to
• 5:37
  lose.
• 5:38
  That's
• 5:38
  a
• 5:38
  gift.
• 5:40
  A
• 5:40
  lot
• 5:40
  of
• 5:40
  times
• 5:40
  I
• 5:41
  offer
• 5:41
  advice.
• 5:42
  When
• 5:42
  it
• 5:42
  comes
• 5:42
  to
• 5:42
  finances,
• 5:43
  I
• 5:43
  can
• 5:43
  give
• 5:43
  a
• 5:43
  lot
• 5:43
  of
• 5:43
  advice,
• 5:45
  but
• 5:45
  not
• 5:45
  cash.
• 5:46
  And
• 5:46
  what
• 5:46
  I
• 5:46
  found,
• 5:46
  sometimes
• 5:47
  it's
• 5:47
  going
• 5:47
  to
• 5:47
  sound
• 5:47
  sort
• 5:48
  of
• 5:48
  cynical.
• 5:49
  Sometimes
• 5:49
  people
• 5:49
  don't
• 5:50
  want
• 5:50
  advice,
• 5:50
  they
• 5:51
  just
• 5:51
  want
• 5:51
  a
• 5:51
  saving.
• 5:52
  They
• 5:52
  just
• 5:52
  want
• 5:52
  the
• 5:52
  cash.
• 5:54
  Maybe
• 5:55
  you
• 5:55
  decide,
• 5:55
  I'm
• 5:55
  not
• 5:56
  going
• 5:56
  to
• 5:56
  co
• 5:56
  sign
• 5:56
  loans.
• 5:56
  Listen,
• 5:57
  don't
• 5:57
  co
• 5:57
  sign
• 5:57
  loans
• 5:58
  for
• 5:58
  somebody.
• 5:59
  It's
• 5:59
  a
• 6:00
  really
• 6:00
  bad
• 6:00
  plan.
• 6:02
  But
• 6:02
  when
• 6:02
  you
• 6:03
  pre
• 6:03
  decide
• 6:03
  these
• 6:04
  boundaries,
• 6:04
  it
• 6:05
  reduces
• 6:05
  the
• 6:05
  guilt
• 6:07
  because
• 6:07
  you're
• 6:07
  no
• 6:08
  longer
• 6:08
  reacting
• 6:08
  to
• 6:09
  them.
• 6:09
  You're
• 6:09
  honoring
• 6:10
  your
• 6:10
  policies.
• 6:12
  You
• 6:12
  can
• 6:12
  go
• 6:12
  to,
• 6:12
  well,
• 6:12
  my
• 6:13
  policy
• 6:13
  is
• 6:13
  I
• 6:13
  don't
• 6:13
  loan
• 6:14
  money.
• 6:15
  My
• 6:15
  policy
• 6:15
  is
• 6:16
  I
• 6:16
  give
• 6:16
  money,
• 6:16
  but
• 6:16
  I've
• 6:17
  already
• 6:17
  given
• 6:17
  all
• 6:17
  I
• 6:17
  can.
• 6:19
  My
• 6:19
  policy
• 6:19
  is
• 6:20
  I
• 6:20
  don't
• 6:20
  co
• 6:20
  sign
• 6:21
  for
• 6:21
  loans.
• 6:23
  And
• 6:23
  yes,
• 6:23
  you
• 6:23
  can
• 6:24
  offer
• 6:24
  support
• 6:25
  without
• 6:25
  funding
• 6:26
  the
• 6:26
  pattern.
• 6:29
  Hear
• 6:29
  me
• 6:29
  on
• 6:29
  that.
• 6:31
  You
• 6:31
  can
• 6:31
  help
• 6:31
  them
• 6:32
  build
• 6:32
  a
• 6:32
  budget.
• 6:33
  Maybe
• 6:33
  that's
• 6:33
  the
• 6:33
  issue.
• 6:34
  They
• 6:34
  don't
• 6:34
  understand
• 6:35
  how
• 6:35
  to
• 6:35
  manage
• 6:35
  their
• 6:35
  money
• 6:36
  because
• 6:36
  no
• 6:36
  one
• 6:36
  sat
• 6:37
  down
• 6:37
  with
• 6:37
  them
• 6:37
  and
• 6:37
  said,
• 6:38
  hey,
• 6:38
  how
• 6:38
  do
• 6:38
  you
• 6:39
  make
• 6:39
  this
• 6:39
  work
• 6:39
  better?
• 6:41
  You
• 6:41
  can
• 6:41
  point
• 6:42
  them
• 6:42
  to
• 6:42
  resources.
• 6:43
  There's
• 6:43
  a
• 6:43
  ton
• 6:43
  of
• 6:43
  resources
• 6:44
  out
• 6:44
  there.
• 6:44
  Hey,
• 6:44
  point
• 6:45
  them
• 6:45
  to
• 6:45
  the
• 6:45
  show.
• 6:46
  Send
• 6:47
  them
• 6:47
  a
• 6:47
  link
• 6:47
  for
• 6:47
  financially
• 6:48
  confident
• 6:48
  Christian
• 6:48
  and
• 6:49
  say
• 6:49
  listen
• 6:49
  for
• 6:49
  the
• 6:49
  next
• 6:49
  30
• 6:50
  days,
• 6:50
  go
• 6:50
  listen
• 6:50
  to
• 6:50
  a
• 6:51
  bunch
• 6:51
  of
• 6:51
  Ralph's
• 6:51
  episodes,
• 6:54
  sit
• 6:54
  with
• 6:54
  them.
• 6:54
  Maybe
• 6:54
  they
• 6:55
  just
• 6:55
  need
• 6:55
  somebody
• 6:55
  to
• 6:55
  put
• 6:55
  an
• 6:56
  arm
• 6:56
  around
• 6:56
  them
• 6:56
  and
• 6:56
  help
• 6:57
  them
• 6:57
  plan
• 6:59
  and
• 6:59
  encourage
• 7:00
  better
• 7:00
  habits.
• 7:03
  See,
• 7:03
  that's
• 7:03
  support.
• 7:05
  That's
• 7:05
  not
• 7:05
  enabling.
• 7:06
  That's
• 7:06
  not
• 7:06
  a
• 7:06
  bailout.
• 7:07
  That's
• 7:07
  support.
• 7:11
  But
• 7:11
  you
• 7:11
  don't
• 7:12
  have
• 7:12
  to
• 7:12
  finance
• 7:12
  the
• 7:13
  consequences
• 7:13
  of
• 7:14
  their
• 7:14
  bad
• 7:14
  decisions
• 7:17
  because
• 7:17
  if
• 7:17
  you
• 7:17
  really
• 7:18
  want
• 7:18
  them
• 7:18
  to
• 7:18
  grow,
• 7:18
  they've
• 7:19
  got
• 7:19
  to
• 7:19
  own
• 7:19
  it.
• 7:21
  I've
• 7:21
  dealt
• 7:21
  with
• 7:21
  this
• 7:21
  my
• 7:21
  own
• 7:22
  son.
• 7:23
  The
• 7:24
  times
• 7:24
  when
• 7:24
  he's
• 7:24
  grown
• 7:25
  the
• 7:25
  most
• 7:26
  is
• 7:26
  when
• 7:26
  I've
• 7:26
  encouraged
• 7:27
  him
• 7:27
  to
• 7:27
  own
• 7:28
  his
• 7:28
  decisions.
• 7:31
  And
• 7:31
  in
• 7:31
  the
• 7:31
  end,
• 7:31
  sometimes
• 7:32
  you
• 7:32
  have
• 7:32
  to
• 7:32
  accept
• 7:33
  some
• 7:33
  temporary
• 7:33
  discomfort.
• 7:36
  They
• 7:36
  might
• 7:36
  be
• 7:36
  disappointed
• 7:37
  at
• 7:37
  you,
• 7:38
  they
• 7:39
  might
• 7:39
  lash
• 7:39
  back
• 7:39
  and
• 7:40
  push
• 7:40
  back,
• 7:40
  and
• 7:40
  they
• 7:41
  may
• 7:41
  just
• 7:41
  very
• 7:41
  well
• 7:42
  call
• 7:42
  you
• 7:42
  selfish.
• 7:44
  Been
• 7:44
  called
• 7:44
  that
• 7:45
  a
• 7:45
  time
• 7:45
  or
• 7:45
  two.
• 7:47
  They'll
• 7:47
  get
• 7:47
  past
• 7:47
  it.
• 7:49
  But
• 7:49
  that
• 7:49
  discomfort
• 7:50
  doesn't
• 7:50
  mean
• 7:50
  you're
• 7:51
  doing
• 7:51
  anything
• 7:51
  wrong.
• 7:52
  It
• 7:52
  doesn't
• 7:53
  equal
• 7:53
  wrongdoing.
• 7:56
  Because
• 7:56
  what
• 7:56
  I
• 7:56
  have
• 7:56
  found,
• 7:57
  and
• 7:57
  I
• 7:57
  bet
• 7:57
  you
• 7:57
  if
• 7:58
  I
• 7:58
  could
• 7:58
  talk
• 7:58
  to
• 7:58
  you
• 7:58
  right
• 7:58
  now,
• 7:58
  you
• 7:59
  probably
• 7:59
  say,
• 7:59
  ralph,
• 7:59
  I
• 7:59
  agree
• 7:59
  with
• 8:00
  what
• 8:00
  you're
• 8:00
  fixing
• 8:00
  to
• 8:00
  say.
• 8:02
  Long
• 8:02
  term
• 8:03
  peace
• 8:03
  often
• 8:03
  requires
• 8:04
  some
• 8:04
  short
• 8:04
  term
• 8:05
  tension.
• 8:06
  Kind
• 8:06
  of
• 8:07
  like
• 8:07
  raising
• 8:07
  kids.
• 8:09
  I
• 8:09
  never
• 8:09
  wanted
• 8:09
  my
• 8:10
  kids
• 8:10
  to
• 8:10
  be
• 8:10
  my
• 8:10
  friend
• 8:11
  when
• 8:11
  I
• 8:11
  was
• 8:11
  raising
• 8:11
  them.
• 8:12
  There
• 8:12
  was
• 8:13
  a
• 8:13
  lot
• 8:13
  of
• 8:13
  tension
• 8:14
  because
• 8:15
  I
• 8:15
  saw
• 8:15
  the
• 8:15
  long
• 8:16
  term,
• 8:16
  what
• 8:16
  they
• 8:16
  needed.
• 8:18
  And
• 8:18
  those
• 8:18
  boundaries
• 8:19
  that
• 8:19
  we
• 8:19
  build
• 8:19
  today
• 8:20
  protect
• 8:20
  what
• 8:21
  love
• 8:21
  can't
• 8:21
  fix
• 8:22
  in
• 8:22
  the
• 8:22
  long
• 8:22
  run.
• 8:24
  So
• 8:24
  here's
• 8:25
  your
• 8:25
  win
• 8:25
  for
• 8:25
  today
• 8:26
  and
• 8:26
  I
• 8:26
  really
• 8:26
  want
• 8:26
  to
• 8:26
  encourage
• 8:27
  you
• 8:27
  to
• 8:27
  do
• 8:27
  this.
• 8:28
  Write
• 8:28
  your
• 8:28
  non
• 8:29
  negotiable
• 8:29
  boundary,
• 8:31
  just
• 8:31
  one
• 8:31
  sentence.
• 8:33
  Maybe
• 8:33
  for
• 8:33
  you
• 8:33
  it's
• 8:34
  hey
• 8:34
  listen,
• 8:34
  I'm
• 8:34
  not
• 8:34
  going
• 8:35
  to
• 8:35
  co
• 8:35
  sign
• 8:35
  loans
• 8:36
  ever
• 8:38
  or
• 8:38
  we
• 8:38
  only
• 8:38
  give
• 8:38
  once
• 8:39
  per
• 8:39
  year.
• 8:39
  Maybe
• 8:40
  you
• 8:40
  set
• 8:40
  aside.
• 8:40
  Here's
• 8:41
  a
• 8:41
  great
• 8:41
  idea.
• 8:41
  One
• 8:41
  of
• 8:42
  the
• 8:42
  listeners
• 8:42
  said,
• 8:42
  what
• 8:42
  I
• 8:43
  do
• 8:43
  is
• 8:43
  every
• 8:43
  beginning
• 8:44
  of
• 8:44
  the
• 8:44
  year
• 8:44
  I
• 8:44
  go
• 8:45
  to
• 8:45
  the
• 8:45
  store
• 8:45
  And
• 8:45
  I
• 8:45
  buy
• 8:46
  10
• 8:46
  or
• 8:47
  12
• 8:47
  gift
• 8:47
  cards,
• 8:48
  $50
• 8:48
  gift
• 8:48
  cards,
• 8:49
  and
• 8:49
  I
• 8:50
  give
• 8:50
  one
• 8:50
  a
• 8:50
  month
• 8:50
  away.
• 8:52
  Because
• 8:52
  when
• 8:53
  you
• 8:53
  do
• 8:53
  that,
• 8:53
  that
• 8:53
  clarity
• 8:54
  today
• 8:55
  is
• 8:55
  going
• 8:56
  to
• 8:56
  prevent
• 8:56
  a
• 8:56
  ton
• 8:57
  of
• 8:57
  resentment
• 8:57
  tomorrow.
• 8:59
  Well,
• 9:00
  let's
• 9:00
  get
• 9:00
  right
• 9:00
  into
• 9:00
  our
• 9:00
  Bible
• 9:01
  verse.
• 9:01
  Today
• 9:01
  comes
• 9:01
  to
• 9:02
  us
• 9:02
  from
• 9:02
  the
• 9:02
  book
• 9:02
  of
• 9:02
  Galatians,
• 9:04
  chapter
• 9:04
  6,
• 9:04
  verse
• 9:05
  5.
• 9:07
  And
• 9:07
  this
• 9:07
  is
• 9:07
  very
• 9:07
  blunt
• 9:08
  today,
• 9:10
  for
• 9:10
  each
• 9:10
  one
• 9:11
  should
• 9:11
  carry
• 9:11
  their
• 9:12
  own
• 9:12
  load.
• 9:14
  Notice
• 9:15
  what
• 9:15
  the
• 9:15
  scripture
• 9:15
  doesn't
• 9:16
  say,
• 9:17
  it
• 9:17
  doesn't
• 9:17
  tell
• 9:17
  you
• 9:18
  to
• 9:18
  carry
• 9:18
  the
• 9:18
  other
• 9:18
  people's
• 9:19
  loads.
• 9:19
  It
• 9:19
  says
• 9:19
  carry
• 9:20
  their
• 9:20
  own
• 9:21
  load.
• 9:22
  And
• 9:23
  I
• 9:23
  really
• 9:23
  think
• 9:23
  scripture
• 9:24
  is
• 9:24
  reminding
• 9:24
  us
• 9:25
  that
• 9:25
  personal
• 9:25
  responsibility
• 9:27
  is
• 9:27
  part
• 9:27
  of
• 9:27
  healthy
• 9:28
  living
• 9:28
  and
• 9:29
  growth.
• 9:32
  So
• 9:32
  that
• 9:32
  could
• 9:32
  be
• 9:33
  your
• 9:33
  mantra
• 9:33
  for
• 9:33
  today,
• 9:34
  for
• 9:35
  each
• 9:35
  one
• 9:35
  should
• 9:35
  carry
• 9:36
  their
• 9:36
  own
• 9:36
  load.
• 9:37
  How
• 9:38
  about
• 9:38
  we
• 9:38
  pray
• 9:38
  together?
• 9:40
  Lord,
• 9:40
  you
• 9:41
  see
• 9:41
  the
• 9:41
  tension
• 9:41
  that
• 9:42
  my
• 9:42
  friend
• 9:42
  feels
• 9:42
  in
• 9:43
  this
• 9:43
  letter
• 9:43
  today.
• 9:45
  Yeah,
• 9:45
  they
• 9:45
  want
• 9:45
  to
• 9:45
  love
• 9:46
  well,
• 9:47
  but
• 9:47
  they
• 9:47
  also
• 9:48
  want
• 9:48
  to
• 9:48
  protect
• 9:48
  their
• 9:48
  own
• 9:49
  home
• 9:49
  and
• 9:49
  have
• 9:49
  those
• 9:50
  boundaries.
• 9:51
  So
• 9:52
  we
• 9:52
  just
• 9:52
  ask
• 9:52
  right
• 9:52
  now
• 9:53
  that
• 9:53
  you
• 9:53
  would
• 9:53
  give
• 9:53
  them
• 9:53
  wisdom
• 9:54
  to
• 9:54
  set
• 9:54
  those
• 9:55
  healthy
• 9:55
  boundaries
• 9:57
  and
• 9:57
  give
• 9:57
  them
• 9:57
  courage
• 9:58
  to
• 9:58
  hold
• 9:58
  on
• 9:58
  to
• 9:58
  those
• 9:58
  boundaries
• 10:00
  and
• 10:00
  give
• 10:01
  them
• 10:01
  peace
• 10:01
  when
• 10:02
  emotions
• 10:02
  rise.
• 10:04
  Help
• 10:04
  them
• 10:04
  to
• 10:05
  love
• 10:05
  without
• 10:05
  enabling,
• 10:06
  Lord,
• 10:06
  and
• 10:07
  support
• 10:07
  people
• 10:08
  without
• 10:08
  rescuing
• 10:09
  them.
• 10:10
  And
• 10:11
  in
• 10:11
  the
• 10:11
  end,
• 10:11
  trust
• 10:12
  that
• 10:12
  you
• 10:12
  are
• 10:13
  the
• 10:13
  ultimate
• 10:13
  provider
• 10:14
  for
• 10:14
  all
• 10:14
  of
• 10:15
  us.
• 10:16
  And
• 10:16
  we
• 10:16
  ask
• 10:17
  this
• 10:17
  in
• 10:17
  Jesus
• 10:18
  name.
• 10:19
  Amen,
• 10:22
  friend.
• 10:23
  You
• 10:23
  can
• 10:23
  love
• 10:24
  deeply
• 10:24
  without
• 10:24
  caring
• 10:25
  what
• 10:25
  isn't
• 10:25
  yours.
• 10:27
  Setting
• 10:27
  boundaries
• 10:28
  with
• 10:28
  loved
• 10:28
  ones
• 10:29
  is
• 10:29
  never
• 10:29
  simple.
• 10:31
  It's
• 10:31
  hard.
• 10:31
  This
• 10:31
  is
• 10:32
  hard.
• 10:32
  Today's
• 10:32
  a
• 10:32
  hard
• 10:33
  one.
• 10:34
  If
• 10:34
  you're
• 10:34
  trying
• 10:35
  to
• 10:35
  balance
• 10:35
  compassion
• 10:36
  and
• 10:36
  responsibility.
• 10:37
  Maybe
• 10:38
  you
• 10:38
  can
• 10:38
  leave
• 10:38
  a
• 10:38
  voicemail
• 10:39
  for
• 10:39
  us
• 10:39
  today
• 10:39
  and
• 10:39
  share
• 10:40
  what
• 10:40
  you're
• 10:40
  facing.
• 10:41
  I'd
• 10:41
  love
• 10:41
  to
• 10:42
  hear
• 10:42
  the
• 10:42
  challenges
• 10:42
  and
• 10:43
  the
• 10:43
  struggles
• 10:43
  and
• 10:43
  I'd
• 10:44
  love
• 10:44
  to
• 10:44
  hear
• 10:44
  the
• 10:44
  things
• 10:45
  you've
• 10:45
  overcome
• 10:45
  as
• 10:45
  well.
• 10:47
  You
• 10:47
  can
• 10:47
  share
• 10:47
  those
• 10:47
  with
• 10:48
  us
• 10:48
  by
• 10:48
  going
• 10:48
  to
• 10:48
  financiallyconfidentchristian.com/voicemail
• 10:53
  we'll
• 10:54
  put
• 10:54
  a
• 10:54
  link
• 10:54
  right
• 10:54
  in
• 10:54
  the
• 10:54
  show
• 10:54
  notes,
• 10:55
  but
• 10:55
  again,
• 10:55
  that's
• 10:55
  financiallyconfidentchristian.com/voicemail
• 11:00
  I
• 11:01
  just
• 11:01
  want
• 11:01
  to
• 11:01
  thank
• 11:01
  you
• 11:01
  for
• 11:02
  joining
• 11:02
  me
• 11:02
  today.
• 11:02
  Heavy
• 11:03
  topic
• 11:03
  today.
• 11:04
  Stay
• 11:04
  financially
• 11:05
  savvy.
• 11:06
  May
• 11:06
  God
• 11:06
  bless
• 11:07
  you
• 11:07
  and
• 11:08
  I
• 11:08
  hope
• 11:08
  to
• 11:08
  see
• 11:08
  you
• 11:08
  on
• 11:09
  tomorrow's
• 11:09
  show.