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Teach Your Empathic Kids to Protect Themselves Mentally and Emotionally with Colby Wilk · The Spiritual Parent: Mindful Tools for Raising Spiritual and Conscious Kids

0:00
Colby: If you want something, you have to ask yourself why you want it.
0:04
Colby: Does my soul, does it feel like my soul supports that Move into the energy of the having and, presto, change up.
0:14
Colby: So, now your intuition turns on, not when you're freaked out.
0:21
Colby: Oh my God, I don't know what to do with my kids.
0:25
Colby: They hate school.
0:26
Colby: Intuition ain't going to happen because you're too afraid.
0:31
Colby: And when you're afraid you leave your body.
0:33
Colby: Your intuition turns on when you move into soul, desire and acceptance of that desire.
0:42
Colby: Then you can get intuitive information.
0:48
Carrie: Welcome to Heart to Heart Parents.
0:49
Carrie: Let's connect with our kids and learn together.
0:52
Carrie: I'm Keri.
0:53
Carrie: I was a former teacher and speech therapist.
0:55
Carrie: I'm also a parent of two spirited, gifted, highly sensitive kids.
1:00
Carrie: I was quickly brought to my knees as a parent when I thought that I would see a rosy lens version of parenting, just as they present on Instagram, but I quickly learned that's not real life.
1:11
Carrie: I will provide real life experiences and transform them into moments for connections and change for you to use in your house.
1:20
Carrie: Hi there, conscious parents, before we start today's episode, it's Keri here and I wanted to reach out to ask you guys for a quick favor.
1:27
Carrie: As a follower of our show, we would love for you to give us a five-star rating and leave us a review.
1:35
Carrie: It can be just a few words, that's it, and it really goes a long way with us with the podcasting community on Apple or Spotify.
1:43
Carrie: So thanks so much for tuning in and I'm so excited for you to hear today's message.
1:48
Carrie: Happy listening, hi there, and welcome to Heart to Heart Parents.
1:52
Carrie: I'm Keri.
1:53
Carrie: I'm here with a special guest today and I'm super excited to introduce.
1:58
Carrie: Our guest today is Colby Wilk.
2:00
Carrie: He was originally a counselor and coach and he recognized that there was a power beyond traditional therapeutic methods that could shift what seemed unchangeable.
2:12
Carrie: So the very core of a person, through intuitive healing and mentoring.
2:17
Carrie: Colby partners with people in their journey to be fully alive.
2:20
Carrie: And, colby, when I first met you, I, you had us all do some deep breathing exercises which I was in my monkey mind and I was like, wow, this person has really helped me to ground right away and connect to myself, and it was.
2:37
Carrie: It was a really neat experience right off meeting you.
2:40
Carrie: And so, colby, thank you so much for being here today to kind of dive into the childhood side of things, which is probably a little different than what you normally connect with, I'm guessing.
2:53
Colby: To some extent.
2:54
Colby: I mean, my focus is on working with people to hear their souls.
2:58
Colby: I've worked with young people as well, but yeah, let's talk about young people.
3:03
Colby: Where shall we begin?
3:06
Carrie: So I was thinking I don't know if you were in tune, if you were conscious when you were a child, but I was wondering what did your childhood experience with all of this look like?
3:19
Colby: My well, I am gifted right.
3:25
Colby: I can sense what's true, I sense subtle connections, I sense what's hidden, and so I built a career on that, and it's become about helping people to hear their soul, what their soul is inviting them to do, because it's my impression, then, that when you know what's yours to do, life goes a lot easier and you know what you're doing.
3:50
Colby: When I was a child, I was raised in a pretty dysfunctional house, and in order to feel into whether it was safe to go downstairs, I would extend and sense what was going on with my family, so I knew how to approach them if I were to go downstairs.
4:10
Colby: So that gave way to a strong empathic sense, being able to feel what somebody else feels, which a lot of people have to some extent or another.
4:25
Colby: The way I developed my empathy was from a dysfunctional place, because I was trying to keep myself safe, and so the way I did that was to extend, so I could feel another person.
4:40
Colby: The downside of empathy is that you're used to tuning into somebody else as opposed to yourself, and so it creates a separation from the self, and you wind up taking care of other people in the hope that they'll take care of you.
4:58
Colby: There are a lot of people running around thinking that empathy is such a great thing and that empathy is a sign of spiritual development, which I guess it can be.
5:09
Colby: But in my case, no, it wasn't.
5:12
Colby: My empathic ability is very, very strong and has been a problem in my life like being able to go places and being around people and not get overwhelmed, so I've had to learn how to manage that.
5:29
Colby: What usually brings people to God the divine, whatever you want to call that is pain, is suffering.
5:35
Colby: Usually, people who don't suffer don't go to God.
5:39
Colby: It's not enough for them.
5:41
Colby: Usually there are a few.
5:43
Colby: So if you have learned to be empathic, to take care of other people so that they will not harass you or they'll take care of you, then you're prone to giving yourself away.
5:55
Colby: So my journey has been I got really good at tuning into other people, giving myself away, and I've learned over the course of time how to stay present with me, how to tune into myself, how to tune into my inner divine.
6:14
Colby: So, yeah, as a child I was like the school psychologist.
6:22
Colby: People want to people who are empathic.
6:24
Colby: They really try to us.
6:27
Colby: We understand them and, uh, people like to be understood.
6:32
Colby: And then there are those who like to give their burdens to you.
6:39
Colby: There's no shortage of people who sense that you're empathic and want to dump yeah.
6:47
Colby: And so, as an empathic child, if that's your thing, if that's what you came with or learned, you have to learn to say no.
6:57
Colby: No, I don't want to listen to you right now.
7:01
Colby: No, I don't want to care about you right now.
7:04
Colby: No, I don't want to care about you right now, I want to take care of me.
7:08
Colby: A lot of spiritual types learn early on to take care of other people and hold it as godly.
7:21
Colby: When it's really spiritual bypass, bypass it's really giving themselves away.
7:28
Carrie: So long, a long answer to your question I love that and I my son is definitely.
7:34
Carrie: Both of my kids are empath kids and I was as you're describing yourself.
7:38
Carrie: I'm seeing so much of what I grew up with my name's carrie.
7:42
Carrie: I always took care of everybody around me and had this motherly energy.
7:46
Carrie: That was how I was and absorbing all of their energy and not knowing that I was absorbing it and taking on their pains.
7:54
Carrie: Do you have any, any skill that I would be able to teach my son with the empath childhood that they're growing up with?
8:04
Carrie: That you found maybe might work for kids?
8:09
Colby: There's a difference between psychic development and personal development.
8:15
Colby: Psychic development is learning how to manage your skill set empathy being a skill set and potentially expand it.
8:25
Colby: So, for instance, I'm empathic and now I've learned how to be visual, how to be auditory, how to sense into the future, so from that place, that is very different than personal development, which is knowing stillness, peace, love Two very different skill sets.
8:50
Colby: A lot of psychic people think they're more personally developed than someone who's not psychic.
8:58
Colby: It's not true, it's just a skill set.
9:02
Colby: So for a young person who's empathetic and getting overwhelmed by their empathy, they first have to recognize I am overwhelmed.
9:15
Colby: Because a lot of times they don't know that they're overwhelmed, they just know they don't feel good.
9:21
Colby: I have to put a word to that.
9:23
Colby: Okay, yeah, first skill I recognize I'm overwhelmed.
9:29
Colby: Okay, great One.
9:30
Colby: When did you get overwhelmed?
9:32
Colby: What happened just before?
9:34
Colby: Great Okay.
9:37
Colby: So you were at lunch, little Henry or whoever, and you were having a good day, everything was going, and then little Doris sat next to you and started to cry.
9:49
Colby: Okay, good.
9:51
Colby: When did you start feeling bad?
9:53
Colby: Well, when Doris came up to me, I felt good.
9:57
Colby: When Doris was crying, I felt good.
9:58
Colby: And then, when someone made fun of Doris.
10:00
Colby: I felt really bad.
10:02
Colby: Okay, great, you felt really bad.
10:09
Colby: When someone was victimizing Doris, I felt really bad, okay, great, you felt really bad.
10:11
Colby: When someone was victimizing Doris, yes, how come?
10:12
Colby: You felt bad?
10:13
Colby: Because I wanted to say something to the person who was bullying her and I didn't.
10:17
Colby: Oh, okay.
10:19
Colby: So when you don't say what's true for you, little henry, you feel bad, great, and then we would talk about.
10:30
Colby: So that's not an empathy problem, which is often confused with a personal voice issue.
10:36
Colby: Let's just say little henry said I felt bad.
10:40
Colby: Doris came up to me and told me all this stuff about her mother and whatever, and her little sister and then, after that, I listened and I listened and I listened and then, when she was done, she felt better.
10:51
Colby: She said thank you, and I felt exhausted.
10:53
Colby: Great.
10:57
Colby: Now the questions are did you want to listen to Doris?
10:59
Colby: I felt like I should, is your answer.
11:05
Colby: Did you want to?
11:07
Colby: Oh?
11:09
Colby: okay you want to, because when you don't do what you want, your system gives you feedback, and so now it's about teaching henry to honor what he wants and what he doesn't want.
11:24
Carrie: The problem is not empathy.
11:26
Colby: The problem is following his desire.
11:28
Colby: Okay.
11:30
Colby: Third issue, henry.
11:32
Colby: So when did you feel bad?
11:33
Colby: When Doris came up to me and talked to me?
11:35
Colby: Okay and everything, okay, great.
11:38
Colby: And then did you want to talk to her Doris, yeah, I care about her, I wanted to be there for her, and afterwards you felt really bad.
11:45
Colby: Yeah, okay, great.
11:46
Colby: When did you start feeling bad?
11:48
Colby: Well, kind of three quarters in I felt bad and you didn't say anything.
11:54
Colby: No, because I thought she was too emotional.
11:57
Colby: Okay, little henry, so you chose her over you, okay.
12:03
Colby: Oh, isn't that interesting, henry?
12:04
Colby: So then that would be great.
12:07
Colby: So let's say, because the thing is, a lot of empaths want to hide in the victimization, that they can't control what's going on.
12:17
Carrie: Yes.
12:18
Colby: That life is happening and they're just too sensitive and should hide in the house, away from people.
12:25
Carrie: And.
12:25
Colby: I spent three years in the house, by the way, being unable to go outside because my empathy was too much.
12:34
Colby: I know about this a lot.
12:37
Colby: A lot of empaths want to blame that the world is too chaotic and they would like to live in Mr Rogers' neighborhood, where people are nice.
12:45
Colby: Why aren't people nicer?
12:45
Colby: Want to blame that the world is too chaotic and they would like to live in mr rogers neighborhood, where people are nice.
12:47
Colby: And why aren't people nicer?
12:49
Colby: Well, that's not the world.
12:50
Colby: We have little henry yeah so you're gonna have to learn.
12:55
Colby: Empaths have to first learn to acknowledge their desire.
12:59
Colby: Okay, when they don't follow their desire, that is their soul talking to them, they get immediate, for the most part, feedback.
13:09
Colby: So one benefit of being an empath is your system is highly sensitive and so usually empaths don't come down with horrible, horrible diseases because our systems are way too sensitive.
13:25
Colby: We know way in advance of the cancer something is off.
13:31
Colby: Yes, and so we start changing our diet, we start exercising, we go to practitioners.
13:36
Colby: Other people who are more thickly built don't get that feedback, so they wake up with cancer one day.
13:44
Colby: Empaths generally don't, because we're so sensitive.
13:49
Colby: We're getting feedback, we're getting feedback, we're getting feedback.
13:51
Colby: That's how they can't, you know what?
13:54
Colby: Okay, if Henry comes home after being hit by Doris and takes Doris's stuff home, there are simple things to do and there's not one answer for all incursions, because different incursions are different.
14:10
Colby: Yeah, so you could take baths, and those baths can consist of lemon and coffee and sea salt and olive oil.
14:21
Colby: You could do sprays and olive oil.
14:22
Colby: You could do sprays, homeopathic plant essences.
14:26
Colby: You can douse yourself with sage, smoke, cedar, sweetgrass.
14:40
Colby: You could go into a field, take your shoes off.
14:41
Colby: You could sit by a large tree.
14:42
Colby: You could ask for assistance from the elements, elements, lots and lots of different things to do.
14:47
Colby: Yep, lots of things.
14:52
Colby: So not one answer.
14:55
Colby: But what we don't want to do is, with an empathic child, is convince them that they're fragile yes, yeah, that's what we don't want to do yep, we want to.
15:08
Colby: This is an invitation to track yourself, the universe, the soul is demanding.
15:15
Colby: Well, not demanding, but your soul, empathic person, is inviting you to have a connection with it, much more strongly than the average Joe.
15:25
Colby: That's the invitation.
15:28
Carrie: Yes, yep, and we'll be right back after this message.
15:33
Carrie: Hi there, changemaker moms and dads.
15:35
Carrie: It's Carrie here.
15:36
Carrie: I hope you're enjoying today's episode.
15:38
Carrie: If there's any pieces of this episode that resonate with you, we would love for you to share it with a friend.
15:44
Carrie: A little helping hand goes a long way.
15:51
Carrie: We appreciate you tuning in.
15:52
Carrie: And here's more.
15:52
Carrie: I love that thought of empowering and not hindering them or making them feel like they need to hide or they're too emotional.
16:02
Carrie: That's my focus with my kids is trying to empower them and finding like the superhuman qualities that we possess with being an empath.
16:16
Carrie: So, so, like when you were talking about, we don't come down with these huge diseases because we're in tune and we're finding those.
16:24
Carrie: So we talk about how food can take.
16:28
Carrie: So my kids we talk about like we're extra sensitive so we can taste food stronger than most people.
16:35
Carrie: My husband and I describe ourselves as foodies.
16:37
Carrie: When we went to Kauai recently, we were going around, driving around, finding all the food places that taste amazing, and so we talk.
16:44
Carrie: We focus on the positives that come with being a sensitive, empath, highly sensitive person, gifted person.
16:52
Carrie: We're focusing on those and we're trying to empower our children.
16:56
Carrie: Instead of the world likes to look at a gifted person, a sensitive person, and put negative connotations on it.
17:04
Carrie: You're, I've been told my whole life, you're too sensitive, you take on too much energy from other people, like it's looked out as a negative version.
17:13
Colby: Right, so I would suggest you stop using the term sensitive.
17:17
Carrie: I know I'm trying to figure out.
17:18
Carrie: I have to describe things to my children.
17:22
Carrie: I have a six year old and a nine year old, six year old girl, nine year old boy, and we have to describe these to my children.
17:26
Carrie: I have a six-year-old and a nine-year-old, six-year-old girl, nine-year-old boy, and we have to describe these things because they're going through it and they're living it and society is not nice about it.
17:34
Carrie: They're not going to be like oh look, I can see that you're feeling overwhelmed.
17:39
Carrie: Right now.
17:39
Carrie: Let me give you a hug.
17:41
Colby: Society's not like that I would stop telling yourself that as well.
17:45
Colby: It's not helpful to see society as um the way you're seeing it.
17:50
Colby: I'll tell you a story okay as a highly sensitive person, I'll use that terminology.
17:56
Colby: Sure, I have a lot of food sensitivities, allergies, sleep issues, right you're describing my house.
18:07
Carrie: You're describing my house right now.
18:08
Colby: I have a lot of that and you know, if you hate me right, not that you're married and I'm gay.
18:15
Colby: If you date me, guys love the sensitivity in my inside and my wisdom, but the other side of it is high sensitivity and I can't eat a lot and I can't eat a lot of places.
18:26
Colby: I can't sleep a lot of places and I have to.
18:29
Colby: You know, I have a lot of routines and they get the edge of that right.
18:34
Colby: They love the wisdom and the perception and all that, but the other side of it.
18:38
Colby: So I have a hard time sleeping.
18:40
Colby: So, just generally.
18:42
Colby: So I, you know, I take my supplements and things like that and I travel with my pillow right and I go to a hotel and which is always, you know, a cluster, and uh then I started.
18:57
Colby: I started, I went to this and I'm like jesus, so I went to hard.
19:01
Colby: The mattress was as hard as hell.
19:03
Colby: So I went, went to Costco and I got myself a topper right, beautiful phone topper.
19:08
Colby: So now I travel.
19:09
Colby: I'm going to Canada this weekend.
19:11
Colby: I travel with a pillow and a topper like queen size topper Okay, queen size topper.
19:17
Colby: And the hotel sees me lugging in this topper right, I love it.
19:25
Colby: I'm thinking, okay, I'm a lot of work, I'm high maintenance right, a lot of people can't deal with me very negative as opposed to I treat myself very well.
19:37
Colby: Yeah, as a sensitive person, we are compelled to treat ourselves well.
19:46
Carrie: You deserve it.
19:48
Colby: That is a very different paradigm, that I'm high maintenance and I have to do these things to survive a chaotic world.
19:56
Carrie: Okay.
19:57
Colby: I am somebody who honors myself by treating myself really well, and so I eat really well Topper and a pillow.
20:08
Colby: And why don't I do these things?
20:09
Colby: Because I believe in treating my really well and so I eat really well topper and pillow and a lot of these things.
20:12
Colby: Because I believe in treating my body well, me well.
20:13
Colby: That's it.
20:13
Colby: Give up the optimization.
20:14
Carrie: Oh, poor me, I'm so sensitive no yes yes, way of honoring myself.
20:22
Colby: Yep, and so when little henry comes home overwhelmed, he didn't honor himself that day that's what happened.
20:35
Colby: He did not honor himself.
20:36
Colby: He got an indication that he should have left the conversation with doris and didn't listen to himself because he might have been afraid what it would have looked like, how Doris would have that people won't see him make fun of him.
20:52
Colby: And so he's.
20:53
Colby: The empath is being a put in the position to learn the sole lesson to honor himself, because perhaps if he had left that conversation with Doris he would have made a new, very important friend, won the lottery or something.
21:14
Colby: The universe is moving, trying to move him, and he's like no, I'd rather be liked, I'd rather people not make fun of me.
21:24
Colby: But the universe is moving us empathy.
21:31
Colby: I have a couple of clients like this lovely people and pets are lovely and they know how to um, be caring and sympathetic and funny, usually attractive well, thank you, colby sure, absolutely.
21:52
Colby: But they suffer, they suffer a lot.
21:54
Colby: They suffer a lot physically.
21:56
Colby: They suffer.
21:57
Colby: Usually empathy also on the other side of it has to do with pushing things away, because if you grow up empathic and you're overwhelmed and you don't get you don't take what I'm saying, which is where did I not listen to myself Then you conclude I need to push things away.
22:20
Colby: I need to push Doris's energy away, I need to, I need to break up, I need to mirror myself, I need to push away.
22:30
Colby: And the pushing away further causes problems, causes your system to create blocks, because pushing away creates an energy vortex, so your energy no longer flows the way it should.
22:48
Colby: It's got to go around these blocks and so empathetic people tend to also suffer from exhaustion.
22:56
Carrie: Yes.
22:57
Colby: Tend to suffer from PTSD or fibromyalgia, this type of thing.
23:05
Colby: They suffer because they're so used to pushing things away, because they're like I'm sensitive, no, no, no.
23:13
Colby: And the no creates problems in their system.
23:18
Carrie: Are autoimmune, in there too.
23:21
Colby: Autoimmune's in there too.
23:22
Colby: No, I'm not one of these new age people saying this is blah, blah, blah blah.
23:27
Carrie: Sure, I was curious.
23:29
Colby: I have themes with people.
23:30
Colby: Empaths are usually not.
23:33
Colby: They're usually like I'm too open, I need to shut down.
23:37
Colby: Yeah, the clothes down, and that's exactly what you don't want to do.
23:44
Carrie: That's yeah you want to move it even further.
23:48
Colby: You want to honor yourself?
23:50
Colby: Okay, do I want to be doing this?
23:53
Colby: Am I called to be doing something else?
23:54
Colby: And even open further so your system doesn't have to block, because if you're trying to block things off, your system is going to get blocked and have a hard time running energy and you get sick I have a.
24:09
Carrie: I have a follow-up question.
24:10
Carrie: You said not to go sensitive.
24:12
Carrie: We need some type of verb or we need some type of vocabulary words to describe these things to people, right?
24:23
Carrie: So not saying sensitive Empath.
24:25
Carrie: Is that a better word?
24:26
Carrie: Is there?
24:27
Carrie: There's no negative piece to that.
24:29
Carrie: What do you use when you are talking to people?
24:31
Carrie: Anytime you give somebody a name right and also you're in a box of it right with that name.
24:40
Colby: I'd rather describe like I am really invested in keeping track of myself love it, yep let's just say my conversation with Doris.
24:52
Colby: Doris, this really doesn't feel like it's in concert with me right now, and so I'm going to take my exit.
24:58
Colby: Or, doris, this doesn't feel right good to me right now.
25:03
Colby: So can we change the subject?
25:05
Colby: Not, I'm sensitive.
25:08
Colby: Sensitive is the way it's being framed as an excuse.
25:13
Colby: It's a diagnosis, a diagnosis not helpful to anyone.
25:16
Colby: Yep, really interested in keeping track of myself done.
25:23
Carrie: What about the word?
25:24
Carrie: Conscious is that?
25:25
Carrie: What are your thoughts on that?
25:27
Carrie: What does that mean?
25:29
Colby: conscious.
25:29
Colby: What does that mean?
25:31
Carrie: staying, staying in focus with yourself, staying like not pushing away, staying connected, staying in the empathic, staying open, right?
25:43
Carrie: Is that?
25:45
Carrie: That's what I?
25:46
Carrie: That's what I think of.
25:47
Carrie: I know a lot of people use the conscious change makers has been a big one.
25:52
Carrie: I'm curious.
25:54
Carrie: Have you heard that?
25:59
Colby: no, like I need you haven't heard that I'm a person carrying a sign like free this person or yeah yeah, change um so for example what's uh, um, so like.
26:12
Carrie: My kids were in a traditional school setting and it wasn't a good fit for them.
26:16
Carrie: So we changed, we pulled them, we moved to a um, social, emotional based school for my kids and it's been what they need.
26:25
Carrie: They needed that for their hearts.
26:26
Carrie: But I'm not the type that's going to sit in something that doesn't work for us.
26:31
Carrie: I'm going to pull up the courage, pick up the bootstraps and make a change.
26:36
Carrie: So I think the changemaker term is a new version of empaths, looking to stay conscious and make changes and not stick in a traditional method.
26:50
Colby: So that's the changemaker has a righteousness about it.
26:55
Carrie: Oh, interesting.
26:57
Colby: As opposed to.
26:58
Colby: This is not a fit for my kid.
27:01
Carrie: Moving.
27:01
Carrie: We don't need to label it.
27:03
Carrie: Why do we need to be righteous about this?
27:06
Carrie: I think they're trying to bring in an empowerment version of it versus you know anything negative that may come from society whenever you demonstrate righteousness, I'm a change maker and you're pointing a finger at somebody else who's not a change maker.
27:23
Colby: That's true.
27:23
Colby: Wrong, that's true.
27:25
Colby: Nothing needs to be changed.
27:28
Colby: Everything's perfect as it is.
27:30
Colby: We need to see that the goal is for us to shift Now.
27:50
Colby: Having said that, if I were a kid, I don't think I would prefer to go to social emotional school and I would hope my mom or dad would move me along.
27:54
Colby: Yeah, it's not that I'm saying don't make any movement to change your situation, but you want to change your situation from alignment without making anyone else wrong.
28:04
Carrie: Oh, I love that, that's so.
28:07
Colby: Yes, I love it, you know like, I'm a gay man, as I've said, you know like I'm a gay man, as I've said pretty much a monogamist, and there are guys who are not monogamous.
28:19
Colby: I can be like oh hello Bob, Nice to meet you.
28:22
Colby: Oh, you're not.
28:22
Colby: I don't need to make Bob wrong, that's not his thing.
28:25
Carrie: Yeah, he's not worse than me.
28:28
Colby: He's not worse than me.
28:29
Colby: He's not emotionally, you know, stuck.
28:32
Colby: He's not worse than me.
28:32
Colby: He's not emotionally, you know, stuck.
28:34
Colby: He likes to play the field with guys he knows and guys he doesn't know.
28:38
Colby: Great, enjoy yourself.
28:40
Colby: Not for me.
28:42
Carrie: Yep, yep, don't need to be wrong.
28:43
Carrie: Passing judgment.
28:45
Carrie: Yep, I don't need to call him a slut.
28:49
Colby: if that's an okay word for your podcast, I don't need to call him a name.
28:55
Carrie: Yeah, so I have a follow-up question.
28:59
Carrie: So, instead of thinking on the change maker piece, so for me, when I had that experience of moving my kids it was mid-year it was a big decision and I'm kind of switching gears here because there was something I wanted to get to with you.
29:15
Carrie: We had felt like there was many signs that were brought to us like this is not the right situation for your kids.
29:22
Carrie: And you need to do this, my husband and I, because we are so sensitive, we really want to make sure we're making the right decision for our kids before we switch schools Right.
29:30
Carrie: So we looked for these signs and we felt like our intuition was guiding us to this spot and it has been.
29:37
Carrie: My son went from I hate school to I never knew I could love school, and he's nine, and so I mean there was like it was like it came at us three times, like multiple I think it was three or five, I can't even remember now.
29:50
Carrie: But we felt like so I wanted to know from you, like I wanted to ask you the question like why is honing our intuition so important and useful?
29:59
Carrie: I love that question and I wanted to get into that with you.
30:07
Colby: Circle around I just had a conversation with a client today who was like I want a boyfriend, a husband.
30:15
Colby: She's 30-something, she wants children.
30:17
Colby: Sure, I want that she's feeling the pressure A lot of pressure and I'm like do you think I'm like spiritual Santa Claus, that I'm going to like what do you think?
30:26
Colby: And I'm like the best way to get something is to find equilibrium with not having it.
30:33
Colby: The best way to get something is to find equilibrium with not having it, that you're okay with not finding a partner and being by yourself.
30:40
Colby: Yeah, but I really want one the reason you want, one you don't want love sweetie.
30:47
Colby: That's not what this is about, because I can feel it.
30:49
Colby: You want validation for having a partner.
30:53
Colby: You think it'll make you okay in your eyes, your parents' eyes, whoever eyes.
30:58
Colby: You want the value.
30:59
Colby: You're not saying, colby, I want to be in love and I want to be loved.
31:03
Colby: I want validation.
31:07
Colby: Okay, great, if you want validation and your soul is paying attention to that aspect of you, it's not going to let you have your boyfriend, your partner, because if you did get it, you would miss out on giving yourself validation.
31:26
Colby: So when you want something, you have to ask yourself why do you want it?
31:30
Colby: What part of you wants it?
31:32
Colby: To ask yourself why do you want it?
31:34
Colby: What part of you wants it?
31:35
Colby: Why do I want my kids, in this case, out of the school?
31:39
Colby: What do I want for my kids?
31:42
Colby: I want my kids to enjoy themselves.
31:45
Colby: I want them to like it.
31:51
Colby: I want them to have a positive association with learning.
31:53
Colby: Okay, great, then you bring yourself into that.
31:56
Colby: That's what I want.
31:57
Colby: And then you imagine that that is happening and the universe will point you accordingly very quickly Once you get clear about what you really want.
32:05
Colby: Always get what you most want.
32:09
Colby: Rule one you always get it.
32:11
Colby: But if you want it too much, you ain't getting it.
32:14
Colby: So, for instance, the client, wants a husband partner.
32:20
Colby: That's what she really wants.
32:21
Colby: So she says but she wants it too much, she ain't getting it Because she doesn't want the husband.
32:29
Colby: She wants the validation the husband will give her.
32:32
Colby: So my job with her is to start, have her learn to validate herself.
32:40
Carrie: Yes.
32:58
Colby: So the importance of intuition, to get to your question, is not to be able to hedge your bets at Las Vegas, it is not to pick out stock, it is not to get your way.
33:03
Colby: A lot of people in new age movement, self-development movement, think if they think properly, they'll get what they want, as if that's how the universe works, that's not how the universe works.
33:13
Colby: That's a way of selling books and classes to people.
33:16
Colby: That's a way of you getting rich and then buying your crap.
33:19
Colby: That's what that does.
33:21
Colby: If you want something, you have to ask yourself why you want it.
33:28
Colby: Does my soul, does it feel like my soul supports that?
33:33
Colby: Does my soul, does it feel like my soul supports that?
33:35
Colby: Move into the energy of the having and, presto, change up.
33:38
Colby: So now your intuition turns on, not when you're freaked out oh my God, I don't know what to do with my kids.
33:49
Colby: They hate school.
33:53
Colby: Intuition ain't going to happen because you're too afraid.
33:56
Colby: And when you're afraid, you leave your body.
33:58
Colby: Your intuition turns on when you move into soul desire and acceptance of that desire.
34:06
Colby: Then you can get intuitive information.
34:11
Colby: Then you can get intuitive information.
34:13
Colby: God comes with your might, M-I-G-H-T.
34:17
Colby: Not you being freaked out Like people are praying to God.
34:21
Colby: God, please get me a boyfriend, change my job, as if God's Santa Claus.
34:26
Colby: That's not how it works.
34:28
Colby: God comes when you are filled of your own strength, Because then your energy raises and you can match a raised energy.
34:39
Colby: If you're all the way down here, you can't be matched.
34:44
Colby: Yes, your angels or guides, they can come around and do some stuff right.
34:50
Colby: You're not out of luck completely and do some stuff right.
34:53
Colby: You're not out of luck completely.
34:54
Colby: But for me, who wants to know my sovereignty, my own inner divine, the goal is to act as if I am the creator of my existence, which I am, which you are, and to bring yourself into that vibe so that your intuition can turn on and you can be moved towards what you want love it.
35:18
Carrie: Yeah sounds great, that's great.
35:24
Carrie: I love it and I love your example.
35:26
Carrie: I think that's spot on in how often we think we know what we want right.
35:32
Carrie: A lot of people don't even know what they want that's a huge piece, oh my god, I don't know.
35:40
Colby: Your soul talks to you through your desire.
35:42
Colby: How else would your soul talk to you?
35:46
Colby: Right, yeah, how souls do it?
35:52
Colby: Okay?
35:53
Colby: So, for instance, years ago, I have a lot of plants and I have a lot of fish tanks in my home.
36:02
Colby: I wanted this fish tank.
36:05
Colby: I saw this in fish tank that was wall size, you could put it.
36:11
Colby: I'm like I want that, thousands of dollars you could put in.
36:14
Colby: I'm like I want that Thousands of dollars, thousands, right, and God knows the maintenance and all that.
36:18
Colby: I want that.
36:20
Colby: But I'm like it's too expensive, it's so ridiculous.
36:23
Colby: But I really want it.
36:25
Colby: I really want it.
36:26
Colby: And I went looking for this thing and looking for this thing on Craigslist, used and found it twice, but I was like I need to be buffed and I'm like it's two years of looking on Craigslist for this thing and finally I heard, I saw him talking to me.
36:44
Colby: When will you allow yourself to have what you want?
36:48
Colby: When will you allow yourself to have what you want?
36:54
Colby: because the only one who's in your wake will be is you and I bought the fish tank and then other things started to come in.
37:04
Colby: Started to just roll in easily because I was allowing myself to have what I want, yeah.
37:13
Colby: So those people who feel like God or they're divine or doesn't talk to them, it's because they've refused their desires for so long, they've shut themselves down, thinking they can't have what they really want, and so they stop dreaming.
37:30
Colby: So, to your listeners, I ask you you, what do you want?
37:34
Colby: What do you really want?
37:37
Colby: What do you really really want?
37:41
Colby: Now, what do I want?
37:43
Colby: I want a piece of pizza.
37:45
Colby: I'm not talking about pizza, oh, not about surface level ones, right.
37:49
Colby: What do you really want?
37:50
Colby: Okay, I wanted pizza.
37:51
Colby: What do you really want?
37:52
Colby: Okay, I wanted pizza.
37:52
Colby: What do I really want?
37:53
Colby: Love, One love.
37:58
Colby: Third question what do I really really want.
38:11
Colby: I miss my mother.
38:11
Colby: I miss my mother.
38:16
Colby: I want my mother.
38:17
Colby: That brings me deeper to what I want.
38:21
Colby: I don't feel complete with my mother, it's true, and that brings me to my soul's desire to complete this.
38:29
Colby: Our souls are always talking to us.
38:32
Colby: It's whether we choose to listen.
38:35
Carrie: Yep.
38:39
Colby: We have a higher ability, because we're thinner, to get information.
38:44
Colby: How do we listen or do we give in to?
38:48
Colby: Oh my God, I'm too sensitive.
38:49
Colby: I got to shut myself in the house.
38:51
Colby: I can't go to Costco, I can't go to Ikea, I can't go to Home Depot.
38:55
Colby: It's too much.
38:56
Colby: Mm, hmm, mm, hmm.
38:59
Carrie: Yep, yep Hospitals airplanes.
39:03
Carrie: Yes, we have to.
39:04
Carrie: We have to do it.
39:06
Carrie: I feel like the best therapy that I could give my kids is doing it right, doing it and being there for them as we're doing it, if that makes sense, doing doing what is hard for them, like going out and doing it.
39:24
Carrie: Give me an example.
39:26
Carrie: So my son was very afraid of flying on a seven hour flight to Kauai.
39:32
Carrie: He was very nervous and my husband was like what is he going to do on the plane?
39:36
Carrie: Is he going to lose his head?
39:38
Carrie: Is he going to throw things at people and have a temper tantrum?
39:41
Carrie: I mean, he's had his moments at home.
39:43
Carrie: So what is he going to do?
39:46
Carrie: Do we just cancel?
39:46
Carrie: Like I don't think he can handle it?
39:48
Carrie: Carrie and I was like no, we are going to go and we are going to show him that you're okay and you can do this, and we're going to sit there and help him feel safe.
40:00
Carrie: So that's what.
40:02
Carrie: That's what we did.
40:03
Colby: And he loved it.
40:03
Colby: What was it?
40:05
Colby: What was scary about the flight for him Initially?
40:09
Carrie: I think it was flying over the open ocean.
40:11
Carrie: The thought of being over the open ocean and what am I going to do with my body in this tiny place for seven hours?
40:17
Carrie: How do I sit still for seven hours?
40:19
Carrie: It was scary.
40:20
Carrie: To him, it was intimidating, and also he has a very, very strong feeling of having everybody see him as normal and perfect all the time.
40:31
Carrie: So it was like I don't know what I'm gonna do with my body and I'm gonna lose it and people will see me because there's people there.
40:37
Colby: I'm not at home, I'm not safe but what you say to me when you talk about that is what makes him feel comfortable.
40:46
Colby: If his feet are off the floor, he's very scary, it's very scary.
40:51
Colby: It's when he connects off the floor.
40:52
Colby: He's very scary, it's very scary.
40:53
Colby: It connects to the floor that he feels safer.
40:58
Colby: It is the disembodiment of his hanging off.
41:02
Colby: So anytime that he's look, you can put your feet on the floor of the plane.
41:07
Colby: It is still a floor.
41:09
Colby: Just like on the bus that you ride to class or school even though it's moving, it's still a floor.
41:13
Colby: Just like on the bus that you ride to class or school even though it's moving, it's still a floor.
41:18
Colby: There is confusion between something moving still has a floor yeah and whenever a little tip for traveling bear a hood I've heard that from others, for that is it the empath piece covering your crown and then I would suggest imagining there's a washer dryer dial here and here and turning them slowly down to low and opening your feet chakras, Because what you want to do is on a plane.
41:58
Colby: There's all this stuff floating around on the tube Right, so you want to close your feet up and open your ground.
42:06
Carrie: Love it.
42:07
Colby: Yep, that makes sense to me, you should look like triangles, like pyramids, with the base wider than the top.
42:14
Colby: Empaths tend to have a larger crown and ground and it makes them feel like they can topple easily.
42:24
Carrie: Yes, yeah, it's interesting A lot of these kids coming in.
42:29
Carrie: I feel like grounding is so important for so many of these kids feeling like like you're in your I don't I don't know how to describe it like you're in your human form, you're in your body and you need to ground yourself because they're up here and they're like floating around.
42:46
Carrie: That's my two kids, like just where are we at?
42:49
Carrie: And we're always like, okay, let's ground us again.
42:51
Carrie: That's just.
42:53
Colby: It's kind of interesting so well, definitely, our culture is very um, third eye and above intellectual, very visionary, very creative.
43:08
Colby: All this stuff and things are getting faster and faster and people don't have the attention span they used to, and everyone's screaming for attention on instagram and so there's a lot of stuff coming at us, yeah, all the time, and there's a difference between being centered and being grounded.
43:31
Colby: Those are two different skill sets okay right people, especially in the psychic community, being up and out and being able to see ghosts and dead people and and aliens and all that stuff.
43:50
Colby: The that's all up here.
43:53
Colby: But as one of my teachers would say, as you journey to enlightenment you will be able to perceive more of the paranormal.
44:06
Colby: But don't get hung up.
44:08
Colby: Keep going, because enlightenment has a flavor of stillness, peace and love.
44:17
Colby: The people who are up here tend to not have stillness, peace or love.
44:25
Colby: They tend to be highly visual.
44:28
Colby: They can give you information but they're not at peace.
44:32
Colby: They don't have stillness to them and they tend to have a lot of self-hatred.
44:41
Colby: Keeping this open exposes you to a lot of work forces.
44:46
Colby: Since this is for children, I would suggest have a game called where am I?
44:58
Colby: So you would stand across from your child and say where am I in my body?
45:04
Colby: And you bring your attention to different parts of your body where am I?
45:09
Colby: And your kid will say, oh, you're in your feet very good now.
45:12
Colby: Where am I when my tummy great.
45:14
Colby: Where am I now?
45:15
Colby: Oh, you're above your head great now.
45:16
Colby: You do it.
45:17
Colby: You go back and forth, so the kid is used to moving his attention or her attention or their attention in different places of their body.
45:26
Colby: So they learn to not always keep their attention here or above them.
45:32
Colby: Yes, yeah, ideally we want to keep our attention in our hara, three fingers below our belly button, the center of us, the power.
45:43
Carrie: Yep, the solar plex right.
45:45
Carrie: Is that the solar plex that you're talking about?
45:47
Colby: Yeah, Fingers below the belly button and in the middle.
45:51
Carrie: Okay, okay, oh, my goodness, colbyby, we could go on forever.
45:57
Carrie: I, I, I don't know if you would answer this question or not.
45:59
Carrie: I'd be curious do you feel like you have a superpower?
46:09
Colby: I don't like the question.
46:12
Carrie: I had a feeling.
46:13
Carrie: That's why I was asking.
46:14
Carrie: I was like I don't know if I want to ask him this.
46:17
Colby: I'll tell you why I don't want to ask the question.
46:19
Colby: Okay, I understand the question.
46:22
Colby: I understand why you're asking the question.
46:24
Colby: Given my gifts, people have said I have powers.
46:33
Colby: Sure, and the miraculous occurs around me sometimes.
46:39
Colby: If I have a superpower, then I am a hero, right Elitist.
46:47
Carrie: If.
46:47
Colby: I'm a hero and you come to see me, then that means you're a victim and you've got to give me your power to get what you want, or I have to rescue you.
46:59
Colby: People who are interested in this, in the paranormal, are interested in being special because they didn't feel good enough, yeah, and so they didn't feel good enough yeah.
47:13
Colby: And so they seek to develop superpowers.
47:16
Colby: You can develop.
47:18
Colby: The average Joe can develop superpowers, absolutely.
47:22
Colby: There's a way to do it, easy peasy, right.
47:26
Colby: You don't have to be born being able to see dead people.
47:30
Colby: You can develop that skill.
47:32
Colby: You can develop the skill to talk to aliens, no problem, totally, and especially if you're an empath and you've got a thin field, as it is Easy peasy.
47:42
Colby: Look, I can see what's not true.
47:49
Colby: I can see the truth.
47:51
Colby: I can see the subtle connections.
47:54
Colby: I can see the truth.
47:54
Colby: I can see the subtle connections.
47:55
Colby: I can see dead people.
47:57
Colby: I can talk to aliens.
47:58
Colby: Some people would call those superpowers.
48:02
Colby: People are continually trying to not be human.
48:10
Colby: That's the nature of that question.
48:13
Colby: Yeah, they're trying to not be human.
48:14
Colby: That's the nature of that question.
48:15
Colby: Yeah, they're trying to avoid their humanity.
48:18
Carrie: Right.
48:20
Colby: Because they don't know what a human being is.
48:22
Colby: What is this that we are?
48:27
Colby: Okay.
48:30
Colby: You want a boyfriend.
48:31
Colby: You want a house.
48:31
Colby: What are you?
48:32
Colby: Are you creation?
48:38
Colby: Are you God?
48:38
Colby: Boyfriend, you want a house.
48:39
Colby: What are you?
48:39
Colby: Are you creation?
48:39
Colby: Are you god?
48:40
Colby: Are you love?
48:40
Colby: What is it that we as human beings are?
48:41
Colby: I am really interested in being the embodiment of a human and I'm interested in evolving, whatever that is whatever it is that is the pinnacle of human evolution.
48:53
Colby: I'm interested in it.
48:54
Colby: So what is my superpower?
48:59
Carrie: stillness, peace love, love those.
49:04
Carrie: Could we phrase?
49:06
Carrie: What's a better way to ask a question?
49:08
Carrie: To know, I don't know.
49:10
Carrie: I'm trying to think of a.
49:12
Carrie: Maybe there isn't a better way to ask that yes, then what's the intention behind the question?
49:16
Carrie: To know, to know what I don't.
49:23
Carrie: I don't want to say gift, because I don't want to.
49:24
Carrie: I, some of us come in with different gifts, right, or?
49:28
Carrie: Or?
49:28
Carrie: I guess it comes back to some people say what is my purpose in this lifetime?
49:37
Colby: I don't know what is your purpose in this lifetime.
49:44
Carrie: For me it feels like not or helping other parents to not feel alone in raising kids like mine and helping them to connect to their kids, to help their kids, to help their kids be the best version of themselves, to help their kids hear their intuition when they're adults.
50:05
Carrie: One day here and I think if I hadn't have closed it off as much I could, it could have, I don't know, been a different version.
50:17
Colby: I don't know I believe our purpose is to become ourselves.
50:24
Colby: Yes, my purpose, that's our purpose, to become myself, whoever that may be, whoever that is, and when I say myself, does that mean God as a divine being?
50:37
Colby: Maybe the journey is not to become happy.
50:42
Colby: The journey is to become whoever you are, and that experience cannot be easy and sometimes is not happy.
50:51
Colby: It is deeply satisfying, deeply rewarding, yep.
50:55
Colby: So people like to say their purpose is external.
50:59
Colby: Look, I do what I do Not because I want to serve.
51:05
Colby: I do what I do because it's an expression of who I am.
51:10
Colby: Yeah, this is who I am, yeah.
51:14
Carrie: This is who I am.
51:15
Colby: Here I'm sharing who I am with you.
51:18
Colby: Boom, yep, I'm not trying to do anything.
51:21
Colby: I'm not trying to be a change maker.
51:23
Colby: Something's wrong, nothing is wrong.
51:26
Colby: Yeah, and if we all were ourselves, the world would be a lot yes.
51:35
Carrie: We're an interesting place, I agree.
51:38
Carrie: So I feel like for me, I'm wanting to help these kids so they will grow up and be themselves.
51:45
Carrie: That's where, but I guess we're all on our journeys.
51:48
Carrie: I see what you're going.
51:49
Colby: How about try this who I am somebody really interested in being myself, and who I am is somebody who is really sensitive and I got some crap for it.
52:03
Colby: And how I become more of myself is I help others who are in similar situations yep do what I couldn't do when I was their age Makes me feel good, Because they're extensions of me.
52:17
Colby: I helped them.
52:18
Colby: It was like somebody who could have helped me.
52:24
Colby: I could help them.
52:25
Carrie: Yes, good to me, yep.
52:28
Colby: There you go.
52:29
Colby: So I guess the question I would ask is what's your superpower?
52:32
Colby: Why do you do?
52:33
Carrie: what you do Is great question oh, I like it because they've chosen to be there what do you do?
52:40
Colby: what you do?
52:42
Carrie: I'm writing that down.
52:42
Colby: I'm gonna use that you're welcome to do so okay what you do.
52:47
Carrie: I'm I'm changing it.
52:49
Carrie: Thank you, and Colby, uh, tell us how we can find you, because people are going to want to find you.
52:57
Colby: You're all.
52:58
Colby: I love your messages, that's great.
53:00
Carrie: You bring the passion.
53:01
Carrie: I love it.
53:03
Colby: Uh, let's see.
53:04
Colby: My website is Colby wilkcom.
53:06
Colby: C?
53:07
Colby: O L BY W I L Kcom.
53:09
Colby: I have a newsletter.
53:11
Colby: I send out tips and tricks and practices at least once a month.
53:16
Colby: There's a lot and my website's being redeveloped as we speak Very exciting, so that's the best way to get in touch with me Holby Wilk dot com, and I'm also on all the social channels.
53:30
Carrie: OK, great, and I can put it in the show notes, so we'll include it.
53:33
Carrie: Yeah, well, thank you so much for being here today, sure.
53:39
Carrie: My pleasure, great.
53:41
Carrie: Well, that's a wrap.
53:43
Carrie: Thanks so much for tuning in.
53:44
Carrie: Changemakers.
53:45
Carrie: This is Keri, and I just wanted to send one more reminder.
53:48
Carrie: If you haven't done a review for us, five stars and a little few words about what you've enjoyed in our podcast episodes, we would really appreciate it.
53:57
Carrie: One other thing if you guys would like to ever message me, I would love any questions you have or any feedback at info at hearttoheartlifecom.
54:07
Carrie: We also have a brand new website which we're super excited to share.
54:10
Carrie: It's hearttoheartlifecom.
54:13
Carrie: Thanks so much for tuning in and happy life, happy times.
54:17
Carrie: Changemaker families.