Latest / I Choose Me with Jennie Garth / Getting You and Kelly Bensimon to Another 'I Do'

Transcript

Getting You and Kelly Bensimon to Another 'I Do' · I Choose Me with Jennie Garth

0:16
Speaker 1: Welcome back to I Do Part two, the podcast that's
0:18
Speaker 1: all about finding love again and where some of your
0:21
Speaker 1: hosts Amy here along with TJ and Janna, And this
0:24
Speaker 1: is part two of our conversation with Kelly ben Simone
0:26
Speaker 1: from the Real Housewives of New York and Ultimate Girls Trip.
0:30
Speaker 2: Do you think girls should go out to meet guys
0:32
Speaker 2: in groups like the Ultimate Girls Trip?
0:35
Speaker 3: You know when that Ultimate Girls Trip, They're always like,
0:36
Speaker 3: introduce me, to introduce me, introduce me. So I'm constantly
0:38
Speaker 3: introducing them to everybody, and then they don't like the
0:40
Speaker 3: guys and I'm just like, I didn't say, like you
0:42
Speaker 3: asked me to introduce you. I'm like, Hi, this is
0:46
Speaker 3: the way, mister Rinda.
0:48
Speaker 2: Right, Like TJ, would you rather meet someone in a group.
0:51
Speaker 2: I mean, obviously you're in a lovely relationship, but with
0:53
Speaker 2: you were single, would you want to meet in a
0:54
Speaker 2: group or in a one on one setday?
0:57
Speaker 4: No, I'm always been it's more one on one orthetic. Yeah, like,
1:01
Speaker 4: just meet people. I don't like being set up. I
1:03
Speaker 4: don't like, well, she'll be there and we'll go with
1:05
Speaker 4: our group.
1:06
Speaker 3: No.
1:07
Speaker 4: Just in day to day life, you just meet people
1:09
Speaker 4: and it's sot to hear about dating apps, and I
1:11
Speaker 4: hear that now, and that just blows my mind to
1:14
Speaker 4: where they're I couldn't imagine doing that. I'm from I'm
1:17
Speaker 4: forty seven now, so I grew up in an era
1:19
Speaker 4: where that wasn't necessarily the case, the dating online. But
1:22
Speaker 4: I just I guess you hear me talking about it.
1:25
Speaker 4: A prenup is not romantic to me or you hear
1:27
Speaker 4: I just just old fashioned in that way. So I
1:30
Speaker 4: just organically think, why can't people just meet people? We
1:34
Speaker 4: see people all the time, but we don't give people
1:37
Speaker 4: that we see on the train or at a restaurant
1:39
Speaker 4: or down we're looking at our phone when the level
1:41
Speaker 4: of your life might be at the end of the ball, right,
1:43
Speaker 4: you don't even look down there. That is my mindset
1:46
Speaker 4: on it.
1:46
Speaker 2: Yeah, one Rya is so superficial too. I mean there's
1:49
Speaker 2: so many beautiful people, especially on those apps, and Rya
1:52
Speaker 2: specifically where it's just supermodel after supermodel and there and
1:55
Speaker 2: the ones in Portugal or Istanbul or like.
1:59
Speaker 3: I was saying everything, I don't even take photos like that.
2:02
Speaker 3: These guys are like so they're like doing backflips off
2:04
Speaker 3: of like mountains and like these exotic places I'm like,
2:07
Speaker 3: what is happening here? Yeah?
2:09
Speaker 2: It just looks really pretty, and I feel like that's
2:11
Speaker 2: where it's like, oh they can get somebody better with
2:13
Speaker 2: a swipe of a finger, right.
2:15
Speaker 1: Wow, You're always being compared to someone's adventure or their
2:19
Speaker 1: photoshop this or that. That's crazy. How much more difficult
2:22
Speaker 1: is it to date in your I mean you've been
2:25
Speaker 1: single for a long time. Have you found it to
2:27
Speaker 1: be more difficult the older you get?
2:29
Speaker 2: What?
2:29
Speaker 1: Like, do you feel like what you have to choose
2:33
Speaker 1: from gets as a smaller pool? What's that been like?
2:37
Speaker 3: So you know, I feel like, you know, I've been single.
2:41
Speaker 3: I mean I've been single for a while since I
2:44
Speaker 3: got divorced in two thousand and seven, So I've been
2:46
Speaker 3: single since like two thousand and six. And you know,
2:49
Speaker 3: I think that there was you know, I met a
2:51
Speaker 3: lot of different people, but it was like, really more
2:53
Speaker 3: about my mindset and that's another kind of advice. So
2:57
Speaker 3: we talked about bandwidth, but also like the mindset, so
3:00
Speaker 3: you know, kind of really being open to dating. I
3:04
Speaker 3: was so worried about my children, about raising them from Rockford, Illinois,
3:09
Speaker 3: like I'm living in New York City, like with all
3:11
Speaker 3: these like you know things, and I'm just like, how
3:14
Speaker 3: am I going to raise my kids? And with a
3:17
Speaker 3: suburban mindset in an urban environment, that was like what
3:20
Speaker 3: I was constantly thinking about. I wasn't thinking about like, hey,
3:24
Speaker 3: that guy's hot, you know. And then I went on
3:27
Speaker 3: housewives and housewives really even though I was on the
3:30
Speaker 3: cover Playboy and I had all these you know, beautiful
3:32
Speaker 3: accolades and everything was really exciting. You know, fighting with
3:37
Speaker 3: a woman on a television show really made a lot
3:40
Speaker 3: of guys being like what's the tea here? Like what
3:43
Speaker 3: is going on? I'm like, by the way, I get
3:45
Speaker 3: paid a lot of money to argue with females and
3:48
Speaker 3: like that's not my thing, but you know a lot
3:51
Speaker 3: of guys are kind of like what is going on here? Like,
3:54
Speaker 3: you know, why would someone want to marry someone who's
3:57
Speaker 3: known for arguing with women? Do you know what I mean?
3:59
Speaker 4: Like, wow, chances in the day about that?
4:05
Speaker 3: No, because it was just I mean, it was such
4:07
Speaker 3: a huge opportunity. I mean, I wrote, you know, I
4:10
Speaker 3: wrote two books before, three books before that, and then
4:12
Speaker 3: four books after two novels, Like a lot of different
4:15
Speaker 3: opportunities that came my way that would never. I Mean,
4:18
Speaker 3: one of the reasons that I'm so successful in real
4:21
Speaker 3: estate is because I know so many people, and when
4:23
Speaker 3: people see things I'm doing, they're like, oh, that's good
4:25
Speaker 3: because it's her. So, I mean, it's been such an
4:28
Speaker 3: amazing opportunity, but it was very, very difficult for me personally.
4:33
Speaker 1: Kelly, we just watched back the Scary Island episode today
4:35
Speaker 1: actually before, just to be reacquainted with that.
4:40
Speaker 3: Have you watched it? Rewatched it?
4:42
Speaker 1: Like, do you look back and think I shouldn't have
4:45
Speaker 1: done this, I shouldn't have said this, or you do
4:47
Speaker 1: you own and and stay true to everything that we
4:50
Speaker 1: saw on that episode.
4:51
Speaker 3: So I before I was on Housewives, I had this
4:54
Speaker 3: amazing acting coach name is Anthony Abson, and he said
4:59
Speaker 3: to me, he's like, if you're to go on this show,
5:01
Speaker 3: He's like, you need to be one hundred percent authentic
5:06
Speaker 3: because if you're going to go on the show, you
5:08
Speaker 3: can't be something else because later on in life, whatever's
5:11
Speaker 3: going to happen, You're going to have to acknowledge all
5:14
Speaker 3: these things. And so I was literally one hundred percent
5:19
Speaker 3: authentic and I'm I'm dealing with it would be like
5:22
Speaker 3: being in a scene with someone where you're like, you're
5:24
Speaker 3: true and the other person is like looking away or
5:26
Speaker 3: like waiting for their moment for them to like have
5:29
Speaker 3: so their kind of narrative play out. And so I
5:32
Speaker 3: was like, wait, I'm sorry, what's happening right now? Which
5:34
Speaker 3: scene are we in? Because I missed that. I thought
5:36
Speaker 3: we were talking about X or whatever. And so, you know,
5:42
Speaker 3: a lot of you know, not a lot one woman
5:44
Speaker 3: just in particular, she was just like, I will do
5:47
Speaker 3: this and this is how I'm going to do it,
5:48
Speaker 3: and whatever is in my way, I am going to
5:51
Speaker 3: get rid of it. And I just happened to be
5:54
Speaker 3: that person you were in the way. Yeah, I was
5:56
Speaker 3: in the way. But what was the good news too?
5:59
Speaker 3: Is that I was in the way, But you know
6:00
Speaker 3: it also made me, you know, very successful, So you know,
6:05
Speaker 3: it's bittersweet, but I mean, I'm proud of like who
6:09
Speaker 3: I am. And you know, I don't like it when
6:12
Speaker 3: people say like I was edited poorly, because don't go
6:14
Speaker 3: on reality TV if you're going to talk about being edited.
6:17
Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean? This isn't like ABC,
6:19
Speaker 3: This isn't you know, a podcast. This is a television
6:23
Speaker 3: show that you know needs to fit a certain amount
6:25
Speaker 3: of time, and it's seven storylines, one big storyline. You know,
6:29
Speaker 3: it has there's things that has to have to happen.
6:31
Speaker 2: Would you go back on if they asked you to come?
6:33
Speaker 3: Well, I did The Ultimate Girls trub I just finished.
6:36
Speaker 2: But the New York Ones, I know they're going to
6:38
Speaker 2: reboot my characters.
6:39
Speaker 3: Well. See I know Jenna really well from j Crew
6:42
Speaker 3: and Uba and I know each other really well. I
6:44
Speaker 3: don't know the other ladies, but I just, I mean
6:47
Speaker 3: I think that yeah, I definitely. I mean, of course,
6:51
Speaker 3: like I was one million dollars listening. I had so
6:53
Speaker 3: much fun. Like I love reality TV because I'm just myself,
6:56
Speaker 3: Like I don't I'm not unapologetically myself, and I think
6:59
Speaker 3: that it's like sometimes endearing and sometimes.
7:03
Speaker 1: Amy's like laughing, She's like, oh my god, No, I
7:05
Speaker 1: love it though. I mean, I think no matter what,
7:07
Speaker 1: we and we meet a lot of people who we
7:10
Speaker 1: all think we have a certain idea of whether they're
7:13
Speaker 1: actors or reality TV shows, and when you actually get
7:15
Speaker 1: to meet them, you know right away when someone is
7:18
Speaker 1: exactly who they are. They're not putting on airs, they're
7:21
Speaker 1: not performing, and you are that you are authentic, you
7:24
Speaker 1: are unapologetically you, which I and I think a lot
7:27
Speaker 1: of people are always appreciative of because you what you
7:30
Speaker 1: see is what you get, yah, and that to me
7:33
Speaker 1: is mostly all you can ask for in a relationship. Right.
7:36
Speaker 1: Everything else is it's just it's false and it's impossible
7:40
Speaker 1: to navigate.
7:41
Speaker 3: Yeah.
7:41
Speaker 2: No, I was just gonna say it's hard because I
7:43
Speaker 2: don't I don't religiously watch the Housewives shows. I just
7:46
Speaker 2: kind of, you know, follow certain people on Instagram, which
7:48
Speaker 2: is you know how Bethany slash Brittany or whatever. How
7:51
Speaker 2: When I look at but it's like, so I only
7:55
Speaker 2: know because like to me, I'm like, oh, she's authentically her,
7:57
Speaker 2: you know. And so I'm like, is that like? I guess,
8:00
Speaker 2: you know, because then I look at you, I'm like,
8:02
Speaker 2: you're beautiful, You're authentically you. So I'm like to me,
8:04
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I think you guys would be best friends,
8:06
Speaker 2: you know, because like two authentic, beautiful women. But I
8:09
Speaker 2: guess you know.
8:10
Speaker 3: But different people have like different pathways to success, right
8:15
Speaker 3: Mine is to celebrate people and hers is to tear
8:18
Speaker 3: them down. So it's just just different. It's not good
8:22
Speaker 3: or bad, it's just totally different.
8:24
Speaker 4: Is there no chance here? Are you open to you
8:26
Speaker 4: all having a I don't know, you all could do
8:28
Speaker 4: a reunion show with just YouTube going together and people
8:30
Speaker 4: would go crazy about it. Are you open to because
8:33
Speaker 4: you all have made such an imprint on pop culture
8:35
Speaker 4: in a lot of ways, and certainly with the franchise,
8:38
Speaker 4: But to see two people who are beloved and have
8:40
Speaker 4: such great fan bases, it would be great to see
8:43
Speaker 4: you all.
8:43
Speaker 3: I mean I have to get paid a lot of
8:44
Speaker 3: money for that. Sorry, So I fight, Yeah, I fight
8:49
Speaker 3: for a price. Yeah, I mean I would be I.
8:52
Speaker 3: You know, it's funny because she asked me to be
8:54
Speaker 3: on her on her podcast last year before Bravo con
8:57
Speaker 3: and then this was this was right way a franch
9:00
Speaker 3: Yeah it is, But it was right when she was
9:04
Speaker 3: having issues with you know, Screen Actors Guild and kind
9:07
Speaker 3: of putting ingratiating herself into an environment which actually really
9:11
Speaker 3: was bad for everybody in television. And I just was
9:16
Speaker 3: very not interested.
9:17
Speaker 4: I just was not into it.
9:19
Speaker 3: I just wasn't interested in like engaging when she was
9:22
Speaker 3: doing something that was hurting our how we make money.
9:26
Speaker 3: So that was like a big no no for me.
9:28
Speaker 3: So I told her that we could do it like
9:29
Speaker 3: maybe sometime like twenty twenty eight or something, twenty twenty eight.
9:33
Speaker 2: So you're saying there's a chance, you know, I just.
9:36
Speaker 1: Saw window open.
9:37
Speaker 4: Thank you.
9:37
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I.
9:38
Speaker 4: Have to say as well, Look, I am a I
9:40
Speaker 4: don't watch the didn't watch the franchise, but I am
9:43
Speaker 4: a Bethany frank The only time I've been around Bethany Frankly,
9:46
Speaker 4: she was wonderful to me and I spent time with
9:48
Speaker 4: her and grilled her and asked her all kinds of
9:50
Speaker 4: questions because I needed help at the time with something
9:52
Speaker 4: that Robot and I were going through. So she's been
9:54
Speaker 4: so I want to say that as well. We're not
9:56
Speaker 4: here Bey, but she was wonderful to do me and
10:00
Speaker 4: my daughter at a concert. So I just wanted to
10:03
Speaker 4: make sure it didn't feel like we were all just here.
10:05
Speaker 4: We're just going to show on Bethany again. No, no, no,
10:07
Speaker 4: and no.
10:08
Speaker 3: And that's why I said too. I was like, there's
10:09
Speaker 3: you know, different strokes for different folks, and you know,
10:13
Speaker 3: had there been like you know, something, we'd been on
10:16
Speaker 3: air and then afterwards she would have been like, oh
10:18
Speaker 3: my god, that was so fun and we could have had,
10:20
Speaker 3: but there was no She was just like, you are
10:23
Speaker 3: bad and I am good, and that's just and you
10:27
Speaker 3: know what when and listen, you know, for me, it's
10:31
Speaker 3: like it's not like a trigger, but it's just you know,
10:34
Speaker 3: again we talked, we're talking. This whole thing is about, like,
10:36
Speaker 3: you know, second chapters, and second chapters means for me
10:42
Speaker 3: that my children come along. And I'm sure you know
10:44
Speaker 3: a lot of women that are in this new chapter
10:47
Speaker 3: in their life are going to have at least one
10:49
Speaker 3: child with them. And you know, when you are impeded
10:52
Speaker 3: the ability for a mother to make money for her child,
10:56
Speaker 3: that is an absolute line in the sand for me.
11:01
Speaker 3: So that's all I'm saying. We like that to me.
11:05
Speaker 3: You're here now, that's like, here's my penry here.
11:07
Speaker 2: And what is like, what is the the ultimate dating
11:10
Speaker 2: red flags for you? And what you would help mentor
11:13
Speaker 2: our listeners?
11:16
Speaker 3: I guess you know, just talking badly about your ex.
11:19
Speaker 3: I mean even though the thing there's things about my
11:22
Speaker 3: you know, ex fiance that I didn't like. I'm saying
11:24
Speaker 3: he wasn't my lobster Like that doesn't mean I hate him.
11:28
Speaker 3: I just was like, this is not something that we
11:30
Speaker 3: should be doing and we're learning from that experience. So
11:34
Speaker 3: like we thank him for helping me talk to other
11:38
Speaker 3: people about you know, possibilities for you know, women and
11:42
Speaker 3: men alike in the future. But for Red Flag, for me,
11:45
Speaker 3: it's just like just not being like good to your.
11:48
Speaker 2: Ex, Like that's an actual I remember talking to one
11:50
Speaker 2: of my girlfriends I dated someone post divorce, and I'm like,
11:53
Speaker 2: he keeps calling his wife crazy and I'm like and
11:55
Speaker 2: I'm like, that is bothering me because I'm like, I'm
11:57
Speaker 2: also an ex wife and i know that, right, But
12:00
Speaker 2: also what also made her crazy too? You know, I'm like, yes,
12:02
Speaker 2: she can be crazy, but there's there's other sides to
12:05
Speaker 2: that story as well, Like he also probably played into
12:07
Speaker 2: that too. Like ever, each side has a part in
12:10
Speaker 2: that play.
12:11
Speaker 1: You know, it can all make sense until you become
12:13
Speaker 1: the ex wife, right.
12:14
Speaker 2: Right, Wait a minute, she was crazy very differently now.
12:22
Speaker 3: But I'm always like when someone says something, I'm always like, oh,
12:25
Speaker 3: you know, maybe, well, you know, maybe you didn't like that,
12:27
Speaker 3: but maybe you could just text her and just be like, hey,
12:29
Speaker 3: I don't really like that, but you know, see you
12:31
Speaker 3: on Thursday. Maybe, Just like I was always like trying
12:34
Speaker 3: to like help you know, I'm always like trying to
12:36
Speaker 3: help them, like because listen, my ex husband's French and older,
12:40
Speaker 3: Like no one is dealing with more of a like
12:44
Speaker 3: a personality. It's like, kik, what do you doing why?
12:48
Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, okay, form, do not call me a
12:53
Speaker 3: pet name. Okay, Like let's like line in the sand here,
12:56
Speaker 3: like just be you know, just to try to try
12:59
Speaker 3: to like soften the bl sometimes too, because you know,
13:02
Speaker 3: we're you know, we're with kids and we want them
13:05
Speaker 3: to be you know, feel good about their parents, whether
13:08
Speaker 3: they're friendly or not. You know, like that's super important too,
13:11
Speaker 3: Like we're responsible for our kids. We're responsible for how
13:14
Speaker 3: they are going to be seeing relationships. And so that's
13:18
Speaker 3: the other thing too.
13:19
Speaker 1: What are you looking for? I know you're out there,
13:22
Speaker 1: you've said that. What are the qualities that are you
13:25
Speaker 1: have to have these things for me to actually want
13:28
Speaker 1: to spend the rest of my life with you? And
13:30
Speaker 1: are you looking for that life partner?
13:32
Speaker 3: Oh my god, yes, of course I'm looking for that.
13:34
Speaker 3: I mean I have a twin brother, Like I love
13:38
Speaker 3: being around men, and my twin brother was just like
13:42
Speaker 3: he's such a great father and human and like I'm
13:46
Speaker 3: just like and I had such a great dad. I
13:48
Speaker 3: had such a great dad, and so I'm just looking
13:51
Speaker 3: for like those I mean I know that, like I
13:52
Speaker 3: set the bar really high because they were so awesome,
13:55
Speaker 3: But I'm just looking for that kind of like partner
13:57
Speaker 3: in crime, like to do everything together like good, bad
14:00
Speaker 3: and ugly, like days are going to be shitty, but
14:03
Speaker 3: like like you guys, like you guys are literally i
14:06
Speaker 3: mean just like the cutest, Like.
14:07
Speaker 1: There's like hearts here, everyone's going to hate.
14:13
Speaker 2: That's very sweet cartoon hearts.
14:14
Speaker 3: Like I know, like, Okay, you guys are very unique
14:18
Speaker 3: and special and like I'm so excited for you. But
14:21
Speaker 3: you know, for me, I just want to be around
14:23
Speaker 3: someone that's just just genuinely cares about my well being
14:27
Speaker 3: and not like how I can help them.
14:31
Speaker 2: Well, you're going to be giving advice to obviously our
14:34
Speaker 2: listeners to help find love. Is there any advice that
14:36
Speaker 2: you want in the dating world that you that you're
14:39
Speaker 2: looking like.
14:39
Speaker 3: What am I doing wrong? Like I've been single for
14:42
Speaker 3: such a long time, Like what am I doing wrong?
14:45
Speaker 3: Like am I what am I doing?
14:47
Speaker 4: One that's so funny? Isn't that a woman thing?
14:49
Speaker 2: I just want to say, like that like hurts my
14:51
Speaker 2: heart hearing because I always was like, is it's me,
14:53
Speaker 2: it's something I'm doing wrong. I'm like, I hate and
14:56
Speaker 2: it makes me sad that that's where women go because
14:58
Speaker 2: it's like, there's nothing that you are doing wrong. Nothing.
15:00
Speaker 2: I mean, you might be picking certain men, but there's
15:03
Speaker 2: there might be a reason because you've got something unhealed,
15:06
Speaker 2: or you have to work through something personally, but it's
15:08
Speaker 2: you're beautiful, you're showing up and it's just not the
15:11
Speaker 2: right person to meet you there.
15:13
Speaker 4: I don't know, as complimentary as you were too, Robok
15:15
Speaker 4: and I here and how sweet and how wonderful that
15:17
Speaker 4: things are great and it is amazing. We went through
15:20
Speaker 4: hell to get here, and that's unfortunately too often people
15:24
Speaker 4: don't want to go through the hell, don't think they
15:26
Speaker 4: should have to go through the hell to get that
15:29
Speaker 4: last thing. So sometimes after two or three months, when
15:32
Speaker 4: they see that warning sign, they say, I'm gonna stick
15:35
Speaker 4: with this because I don't want to start over. I
15:36
Speaker 4: don't want to. But it was this is four divorces
15:39
Speaker 4: down here, this is lost careers, public shame. All this
15:43
Speaker 4: hell had to happen for us to be smiling the
15:46
Speaker 4: way we're smiling now, but we are, and I am
15:49
Speaker 4: grateful for what we did have to go through. Not
15:51
Speaker 4: at the time, but damn, I'm sitting here with you
15:54
Speaker 4: two in this studio with the love of my life.
15:56
Speaker 4: My kids are great, families, are all together, happy and
16:00
Speaker 4: healthy for the first time in my adult life. And yes,
16:06
Speaker 4: helpful required.
16:07
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I hope is an important part of
16:10
Speaker 1: it when you're going through the divorce or the struggle
16:12
Speaker 1: of trying to find someone, knowing that there is the potential, right,
16:16
Speaker 1: That's what we all are wanting to know and believe,
16:18
Speaker 1: and I'm hoping we can provide some of that, but
16:20
Speaker 1: it doesn't always come easily. And I think something I've learned.
16:24
Speaker 1: I'm curious what you think about this, Kelly, And I've
16:27
Speaker 1: said this before. The big distinction with TJ and me
16:31
Speaker 1: is our friendship. There is just this unbelievable friendship and respect,
16:36
Speaker 1: mutual respect, and I think it's everything built from there.
16:39
Speaker 1: Have you thought about looking for that friend first that
16:43
Speaker 1: could develop into something passionate later.
16:47
Speaker 3: That I love that. I think that what happens to
16:50
Speaker 3: me is that guys see me and they're just like you.
16:54
Speaker 3: Mine like I'm just gonna I'm just their Jane and
16:58
Speaker 3: they're just gonna pull my hair oft into the sunset
17:00
Speaker 3: like that's just like okay, they're like that's mine. And yeah,
17:04
Speaker 3: every single man has been like that's your mind, and
17:07
Speaker 3: I'm going, you're a possession, yes, And I just don't
17:12
Speaker 3: want that.
17:12
Speaker 2: That's not respect.
17:13
Speaker 3: I don't want that, and I you know, I think
17:15
Speaker 3: and then another thing too, people are you know a
17:17
Speaker 3: lot of men are like, well, you're educated, so you're intimidating.
17:20
Speaker 2: It's like why, and well.
17:24
Speaker 3: So they're intimidating, they're educated, they're they're doing all these things,
17:28
Speaker 3: Like why am I intimidating? You know, It's like I'm
17:31
Speaker 3: not doing anything that should be like like I call
17:35
Speaker 3: a value add like I want to be around people
17:37
Speaker 3: that make you better. I don't want to be around
17:39
Speaker 3: people that are like, oh, you know, you're not good
17:42
Speaker 3: enough or you know, I don't want to do that.
17:45
Speaker 1: Well, if a man's intimidated by your education or your success,
17:48
Speaker 1: then that means he's got insecurity issues and you don't
17:50
Speaker 1: want to deal with that. So he's eliminated now at
17:52
Speaker 1: this point, right, I mean, I feel like that's actually
17:54
Speaker 1: a good way to filter some of the guys you
17:58
Speaker 1: might meet, because if that's even an issu you, then it's.
18:01
Speaker 2: A non starter, right, I will say that too, like
18:03
Speaker 2: for what's wrong with you? For me, it's always been
18:07
Speaker 2: the timing. Like if I would have met my husband
18:10
Speaker 2: a few even just five years ago, I'm there was
18:14
Speaker 2: so much stuff I personally had to work on myself.
18:16
Speaker 2: I would have ruined that relationship in a heartbeat, like
18:19
Speaker 2: with all of my unhealed traumas and pasts and stuff,
18:21
Speaker 2: I would have one thousand percent ruined it. So I
18:24
Speaker 2: had to meet him later at forty to appreciate, to
18:28
Speaker 2: know that I actually do deserve this love. I don't
18:29
Speaker 2: need something toxic. I don't have to walk this walk.
18:32
Speaker 2: So like I think too, I don't know if there's
18:34
Speaker 2: anything that you can do in the meantime to whatever
18:37
Speaker 2: pieces that you feel that you want to work on.
18:40
Speaker 2: That way, then you're meeting the person healthy and healthy
18:42
Speaker 2: attracts and you know it's actually the right timing for
18:45
Speaker 2: both of you in that time of life.
18:46
Speaker 3: And I love that. I mean I believe in you know,
18:49
Speaker 3: kinetic not frenetic. I've always been like that, and that's
18:53
Speaker 3: one reason why I was like, Okay, I'm going to
18:55
Speaker 3: learn to play polo because it's like, okay, I know
18:57
Speaker 3: how to ride horses, but that's like a totally different
19:00
Speaker 3: for an environment. It'll like put my mind in a
19:02
Speaker 3: different space. Like getting another license will be good for me,
19:06
Speaker 3: like just you know, like for my own personal self
19:09
Speaker 3: and I'll feel like I've accomplished things. And I think
19:13
Speaker 3: that you're right. I think it's just like meeting people
19:15
Speaker 3: at the right time. And you know, it's funny because
19:17
Speaker 3: like you know, a lot of women are like, you know,
19:20
Speaker 3: don't go back to like old ex'es. And it's like
19:23
Speaker 3: sometimes you know, one time, I was like, oh, okay,
19:25
Speaker 3: I'll go and like, you know, revisit you know this
19:28
Speaker 3: friend of mine, banker, like really successful guy and he's amazing.
19:32
Speaker 3: But I'm just like, no, like I we're friends and
19:35
Speaker 3: we're just going to say as friends because we can't
19:38
Speaker 3: go back there like that just didn't it just it
19:41
Speaker 3: didn't work the first time and it's not going to
19:42
Speaker 3: work now. I just I guess you're right. I just like,
19:48
Speaker 3: why don't why do I have to say? Why do
19:49
Speaker 3: I have to be like what's wrong with me? I
19:52
Speaker 3: Am like I like went, you know, I'm storting with
19:55
Speaker 3: therapists and just to talk to her about like just
20:00
Speaker 3: literally you know everything, like the trauma, Like maybe there's
20:03
Speaker 3: trauma from you know, there's Shama Sean, trauma from my past,
20:06
Speaker 3: and then trauma from just you know, from being on TV.
20:09
Speaker 3: I mean, I know that there's a lot of trauma
20:11
Speaker 3: from that.
20:11
Speaker 2: You might be blocking yourself up from you know, and
20:14
Speaker 2: guarding yourself and you don't even know that you're doing that.
20:17
Speaker 4: Right, Are you ready for the relationship you're talking about? Right?
20:30
Speaker 4: Because to her point about being younger, and I know
20:32
Speaker 4: we were the same way if we'd have met and
20:35
Speaker 4: started dating in our thirties or early forties, so this
20:38
Speaker 4: would have been a disaster.
20:39
Speaker 1: Right, He says that to me a lot. Oh, He's like,
20:44
Speaker 1: it all had to happen when it happened.
20:46
Speaker 4: Yeah, it sucked. It had to happen how it happened,
20:48
Speaker 4: but when it happened is probably right. But are you ready?
20:52
Speaker 4: Do you think you're in the right space and you're
20:54
Speaker 4: ready to That's.
20:56
Speaker 3: A really good question. And I feel like after spending
20:59
Speaker 3: time I'm with my girls, which I hadn't done since
21:02
Speaker 3: really COVID like I just felt like that family part
21:08
Speaker 3: of me is really solid, and so, like I said,
21:11
Speaker 3: like I feel like I'm eighteen years old again. I
21:13
Speaker 3: feel like I'm like ready to go out there. And
21:17
Speaker 3: I mean have to remember, like I started modeling when
21:19
Speaker 3: I was fifteen from Rockford, Illinois. It's not like, you know,
21:22
Speaker 3: just like I had this like random life. I had
21:24
Speaker 3: this very specific, strange upbringing that most people don't have.
21:30
Speaker 3: Like I didn't like go to high school with like
21:32
Speaker 3: five hundred kids. You know, my twin brother was my
21:36
Speaker 3: date at our prom. You know, It's like I went
21:39
Speaker 3: to a very small school. I was in a very
21:42
Speaker 3: you know, high profile industry at a very young age.
21:45
Speaker 3: And so I just had a different life than most people.
21:47
Speaker 3: And I've had a lot of really bad bad men
21:51
Speaker 3: like attract me to be attracted to me. Not saying
21:54
Speaker 3: that my ex was like it was a bad man.
21:55
Speaker 3: He's not a bad man. He's just not my lobster.
21:58
Speaker 4: But I love that.
22:00
Speaker 3: But you know, just like I just have been around
22:02
Speaker 3: a lot of people. So now I'm like now that
22:03
Speaker 3: I'm trusting myself with like my education where I am,
22:07
Speaker 3: with my work where I am. I had so much
22:08
Speaker 3: fun on the Ultimate Girls trip. I really did. I
22:10
Speaker 3: had a great time and I tried to tell them
22:12
Speaker 3: what was going on, but they were like obsessed with
22:14
Speaker 3: Scary Island too. I'm like, no, no, something bigger than
22:17
Speaker 3: Scary Island two is happening and you guys are missing out,
22:20
Speaker 3: And they were like, why didn't you tell us like
22:21
Speaker 3: I did?
22:22
Speaker 4: Now the times killy he comes back. He says, he
22:26
Speaker 4: calls today, I'll sign whatever bringing up you want. I
22:28
Speaker 4: want you back, I love you, I miss you.
22:31
Speaker 2: He there talked to those girls first, Yeah, and make
22:33
Speaker 2: it right with your with your daughter's huh daughter, Yeah yes,
22:36
Speaker 2: But if he does that and sign it.
22:38
Speaker 4: Are you open? If he called and said that.
22:40
Speaker 3: You know, it's like, I'm One thing that I learned
22:43
Speaker 3: recently is like to just close doors, like just really
22:47
Speaker 3: close them, not like lock them, not you don't have
22:50
Speaker 3: to be mean, but like close them and like you
22:54
Speaker 3: know what I mean, close them and just be like
22:56
Speaker 3: thank you, nice to see you, like hope you're well.
22:59
Speaker 2: Slam it shut just because we were like slamming things
23:03
Speaker 2: like oh god, no no, but Jon Housewive slammed door.
23:06
Speaker 2: Just nice.
23:09
Speaker 3: Slamming door exactly.
23:10
Speaker 1: Just be like oh okay, Kelly, It actually, you know
23:12
Speaker 1: it hasn't been that long, right, Your marriage was supposed
23:15
Speaker 1: to take place.
23:15
Speaker 3: What date, June?
23:18
Speaker 4: The summer?
23:19
Speaker 1: It was the summer, so it's only more months. Have
23:22
Speaker 1: you had a moment where you wished you had gone
23:25
Speaker 1: through with it? Have you had a moment where you think, God,
23:27
Speaker 1: I miss him?
23:30
Speaker 3: You know it's funny that you say that, because you know,
23:32
Speaker 3: right after we called it off, I had to move out,
23:35
Speaker 3: so because he made me move out of my apartment,
23:37
Speaker 3: so I rented my apartment. Then we moved into another apartment.
23:40
Speaker 3: So then I had to move out of that apartment
23:42
Speaker 3: into another apartment. And I work in real estate. There's
23:44
Speaker 3: no apartments, so it's like awful to try to find
23:47
Speaker 3: something and to move everything and get everything organized and
23:51
Speaker 3: work and do everything.
23:53
Speaker 2: Can I just time it really fast? Can Can you help
23:55
Speaker 2: me understand why you had to move out of your place?
23:57
Speaker 3: He I had an apartment and he didn't want to
23:59
Speaker 3: live there, wanted to start fresh. So I was like, okay,
24:02
Speaker 3: So I rented that apartment and then we were in
24:05
Speaker 3: another apartment, and then I had to leave that and
24:07
Speaker 3: find another apartment, which is like, there's no apartments available
24:09
Speaker 3: in New York, like there is nothing. I mean, you
24:12
Speaker 3: have to buy something. I'm like, I'm not like, this
24:13
Speaker 3: is not what's happening right now.
24:15
Speaker 4: So that was just.
24:17
Speaker 3: All that stress. It was just there was it was
24:21
Speaker 3: like my hot my life was so messy that I
24:23
Speaker 3: now I'm just like I'm feeling very emotional with you guys.
24:26
Speaker 3: First of all, thank you so much, Like I love
24:28
Speaker 3: all your insight. You're gonna make me cry, but I'm
24:32
Speaker 3: just like starting to like process it.
24:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean you were the logistics like like you said,
24:38
Speaker 1: of having we we know we just recently lived this
24:40
Speaker 1: where you're moving and packing and the memories and then
24:44
Speaker 1: your life is up ended and you don't have a
24:46
Speaker 1: solid foundation or a safe place.
24:48
Speaker 3: Like what do you do with the photos? It's like
24:51
Speaker 3: it's like, oh am, I gonna be like a teenager
24:53
Speaker 3: and like ump the phinals Like I'm just like what
24:55
Speaker 3: do I do with these? Like do I keep them?
24:57
Speaker 3: Do I not keep? In the same exact sa. It's
25:00
Speaker 3: a very like you unsettling time and.
25:05
Speaker 2: Is the emotion the piece to of like because obviously
25:08
Speaker 2: you want your person, you want your lobster, you want
25:10
Speaker 2: to you want companionship.
25:12
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, I mean I do, of course I do, and.
25:15
Speaker 1: Like you have, you had a moment to miss him.
25:18
Speaker 3: I'm sorry to interrupt, No, no I. And that's what I'm
25:20
Speaker 3: just saying is like I'm just starting to like get
25:23
Speaker 3: back into the swing of things, like you know, everything
25:26
Speaker 3: is like now calm in New York, and like I've
25:28
Speaker 3: just been kind of like thinking through like what do
25:31
Speaker 3: I want and just preparing for today. I was kind
25:34
Speaker 3: of like thinking of myself, like what do I want.
25:37
Speaker 3: I'm hearing all these stories from other people, but what
25:39
Speaker 3: do I want? And to your point, you out like
25:42
Speaker 3: I want someone that is like just really genuinely, genuinely
25:46
Speaker 3: cares about me and wants me to be happy.
25:48
Speaker 4: And well, any chance that person is already in your life.
25:52
Speaker 3: I don't know. Why do you know him?
25:54
Speaker 4: I don't know. I was worrying of you might know him.
25:56
Speaker 3: I don't know.
25:57
Speaker 4: Maybe who have you been friends with for about it
26:01
Speaker 4: worked for us. I'm just saying, it's.
26:03
Speaker 3: So funny, Like on TikTok, You're like tik and I
26:05
Speaker 3: was like, this is so weird. Why are all these
26:07
Speaker 3: psychics coming there? Like you will find the man. He
26:11
Speaker 3: is right in front of you. He's trying to call you,
26:14
Speaker 3: but he can't call you in his hand. His phone
26:16
Speaker 3: is in his hand, and I'm like who what? I'm like,
26:21
Speaker 3: is she real?
26:22
Speaker 1: Wait?
26:23
Speaker 2: Let's play a lightning round. We're all going to answer.
26:25
Speaker 2: First question is should men pay for the first date?
26:28
Speaker 2: I say absolutely, yes, yes, yes, yes. How long till
26:33
Speaker 2: you text someone after a date? Three day rule?
26:36
Speaker 4: Question mark that evening right away? I agree immediately.
26:40
Speaker 2: I think I think once you leave them, be like,
26:42
Speaker 2: that was an amazing night. Do you want the does
26:46
Speaker 2: the girl text or the guy text first?
26:48
Speaker 4: Whoever is the adult? What I'm saying, where is the adult?
26:51
Speaker 4: I want to say, we're all in here forty fifties,
26:54
Speaker 4: and when you got time for this crap to be
26:55
Speaker 4: playing around? I'm a grown ass man. You're a grown
26:58
Speaker 4: ass woman. If you like me, till me.
26:59
Speaker 1: I ain't got time for games. Guys.
27:05
Speaker 3: I'm at the restaurant.
27:06
Speaker 2: I'm helping a lot of nice girlfriends right now with
27:09
Speaker 2: their responses. I'm like, no, just text them Backstop waiting.
27:11
Speaker 2: Why are you waiting? There's no point of waiting. Just
27:13
Speaker 2: be like I had a lot of fun, swinky face,
27:16
Speaker 2: you know, like thank you.
27:17
Speaker 1: TJ told me one time he was like, the biggest
27:19
Speaker 1: mistake y'all make, meaning us girls, is that you think
27:21
Speaker 1: we want to chase you.
27:22
Speaker 3: Yeah.
27:23
Speaker 2: Yeah, you want to get the text too, Like I
27:26
Speaker 2: appreciate the text.
27:28
Speaker 4: And if a guy doesn't appreciate that text and does
27:30
Speaker 4: the right thing with it, you don't need to be
27:31
Speaker 4: with them in the first place.
27:32
Speaker 2: How long till you're intimate?
27:37
Speaker 1: I mean for me, there wouldn't be a rule.
27:40
Speaker 4: For me.
27:41
Speaker 1: It would be when I felt like I wanted to be.
27:43
Speaker 4: I don't want to hear that from your girlfriend there's
27:45
Speaker 4: no rule.
27:45
Speaker 2: Well, well, there are rules in place, they say, they
27:50
Speaker 2: say like the third day or is you.
27:53
Speaker 1: Know, I think whenever you're feeling it.
27:55
Speaker 4: And yeah, this is another we're grown folks. Yeah, and
27:59
Speaker 4: you can make whatever decision you want to.
28:01
Speaker 2: I think if someone is going because some people say like, oh, well,
28:04
Speaker 2: if you give it to them right away, I'm like, no,
28:06
Speaker 2: if the guy just wants that, then you're going to
28:09
Speaker 2: know that right off the bat, you know, So.
28:11
Speaker 1: Why buy the cow if you're getting the milk for free?
28:13
Speaker 1: I mean, come on, who grew up?
28:15
Speaker 3: I heard that growing on?
28:16
Speaker 4: I did.
28:16
Speaker 3: It's so dominicing.
28:17
Speaker 2: Actually absolutely, I think younger maybe that is more, but
28:23
Speaker 2: when you're older, it's like, Okay, you're gonna I would
28:27
Speaker 2: hope that it's not the case where.
28:29
Speaker 3: I think it's just more so. It's just it's so
28:32
Speaker 3: difficult dating in general, and like for my kids, they're
28:36
Speaker 3: in their twenties, and for me, it's just dating is
28:39
Speaker 3: just really really hard, and there's just so much expectation
28:42
Speaker 3: and like, you know, what do you want to do
28:44
Speaker 3: in life? What's going to happen? And people have had
28:47
Speaker 3: so many issues in the past, and you know, I
28:50
Speaker 3: just I am just very open and like easy going.
28:54
Speaker 3: If I like something, I'm just like I like you, right?
28:58
Speaker 2: Is ghosting? Is ghosting very acceptable? And have you guys
29:01
Speaker 2: been ghosted before?
29:04
Speaker 3: I have No.
29:05
Speaker 1: I don't think it's acceptable. And I have not been
29:08
Speaker 1: ghosted and I have not ghosted anyone.
29:11
Speaker 3: I was accused of ghosting, but it wasn't like that
29:15
Speaker 3: I was actually ghosting. I was just way for the week,
29:17
Speaker 3: working and I'm just kind of like, I'm kind of
29:19
Speaker 3: you were busy. Now, well, I'm also like when I'm working,
29:22
Speaker 3: I'm like work, I'm trying to like stay focused on
29:24
Speaker 3: what I'm doing. I can't. And you know, it's like
29:26
Speaker 3: you get. I mean when I was I was, when
29:28
Speaker 3: I was on Housewives like people, they would be screaming
29:30
Speaker 3: at me, like you don't respond. I'm like, I'm filming.
29:32
Speaker 3: I'm getting yelled at, like just stop, give me two minutes.
29:35
Speaker 4: Like I didn't ghost you. I was just busy. That's
29:40
Speaker 4: why I was busy.
29:41
Speaker 3: I mean, I was getting yelled and screamed down. I'm like,
29:43
Speaker 3: oh my god, I'll call you in a minute.
29:44
Speaker 4: I know, Jenn, I have not, and I think it's
29:46
Speaker 4: never acceptable. I mean, somebody the decency of a response.
29:51
Speaker 2: Right, I mean, I I agree, but I will have
29:54
Speaker 2: to say, probably in my twenties dating in Los Angeles,
29:57
Speaker 2: I'm sure I ghosted that. I'm almost one hundred percent
30:00
Speaker 2: positive I've been ghosted. I'm sure I've ghosted, but post divorce.
30:05
Speaker 3: You're so beautiful.
30:05
Speaker 2: Oh, I've been ghosted many times and even posted like
30:09
Speaker 2: post divorce ghosted many times from like, well not many times.
30:13
Speaker 2: There was two guys I can think of that ghosted
30:15
Speaker 2: me on Riah. We were supposed to meet at the
30:17
Speaker 2: Soho house and then they never ended up showing up. Yeah,
30:24
Speaker 2: and he was like a pretty like known person too.
30:26
Speaker 2: And I'm like so yeah, you never heard a response
30:30
Speaker 2: from response that was just the one awful. But I
30:34
Speaker 2: will not say it is. I will not say who
30:37
Speaker 2: it is. But but yeah, so I don't. But I
30:41
Speaker 2: said post divorce, like, I will be very uh mindful
30:44
Speaker 2: and respectful about saying I don't feel like this is
30:48
Speaker 2: going to go anywhere. This isn't for me. So like
30:49
Speaker 2: I would text and say like this one person, like, hey,
30:52
Speaker 2: I had a lovely time with you, and I could
30:54
Speaker 2: tell that they would want to hang out again. But
30:55
Speaker 2: I said, for me, this, this isn't what I'm looking for.
30:58
Speaker 2: And then what was frustrating Some guys would be like
31:00
Speaker 2: but I was still like another chance, why don't you.
31:02
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't have you know what I mean, Like,
31:04
Speaker 2: I'm like I've said please see above.
31:06
Speaker 3: Basically I just want to.
31:10
Speaker 2: Like sometimes they don't even accept the response. But even so,
31:13
Speaker 2: I knew I did the right thing by at least
31:15
Speaker 2: so I grew in that aspect because I'm pretty sure
31:18
Speaker 2: I've got.
31:18
Speaker 3: That's a good thing. I should say that if there's
31:20
Speaker 3: someone that I like, I should.
31:21
Speaker 2: Say because I'm a mom too, it needs to align
31:23
Speaker 2: with my family, you know, Like I'm not like I
31:26
Speaker 2: used to appease and go out and second dates when
31:27
Speaker 2: I knew it wasn't the thing. But now older, I'm like,
31:29
Speaker 2: this is a this is not I'd rather be here
31:31
Speaker 2: with my children. This is a waste of everyone's time. Yes, yeah, yeah,
31:35
Speaker 2: well that was that lightning round over.
31:39
Speaker 4: You guys on I was enjoying that.
31:42
Speaker 3: I like. I like the from like you know, from
31:44
Speaker 3: the I like the responding. I like what you were saying,
31:47
Speaker 3: Like I like what everyone is saying. Just like to
31:48
Speaker 3: respond and like be the adult in the room and just.
31:51
Speaker 3: And I need to also be more like adult with
31:54
Speaker 3: with with texting too. I'm not a good texture, so
31:56
Speaker 3: I need to be more just. I'm not either, are
31:58
Speaker 3: just really good at it. Like I'm on my phone
32:00
Speaker 3: so much for work that the last thing I want
32:02
Speaker 3: to do is like text someone like I just you know,
32:05
Speaker 3: it's psych a lot.
32:16
Speaker 2: Wait, I have one more. I'm sorry, what is your
32:19
Speaker 2: what is everyone's deal breaker?
32:21
Speaker 4: Smoking?
32:23
Speaker 3: Yeah?
32:23
Speaker 4: Period?
32:24
Speaker 2: Have you ever smoked before? Never been a smoking never,
32:27
Speaker 2: never smoked one cigarette?
32:28
Speaker 4: Oh yeah cigarette before in life. But if somebody was
32:30
Speaker 4: an actual smoker, it's just not we are not going
32:32
Speaker 4: to work out, and I don't care who it is.
32:35
Speaker 3: Yep.
32:36
Speaker 1: A deal breaker for me is anyone who has anger issues.
32:40
Speaker 1: I just I can't deal with the yelling and the
32:42
Speaker 1: name calling. I'm over that in my life completely. So
32:45
Speaker 1: that's a deal break.
32:46
Speaker 4: And if it's an angry smoker she's really smoking, is.
32:49
Speaker 1: High on my list?
32:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, yeah, mine would be. I've got to just because.
32:53
Speaker 2: And I'm not saying if you cheat, you can't fix
32:57
Speaker 2: your relationship, but for me, knowing how I react now
32:59
Speaker 2: in this situations and given my past, I couldn't be
33:02
Speaker 2: in a relationship if someone cheated again. And then any
33:07
Speaker 2: any sort of abuse, whether it's insinuating aggression, getting in
33:11
Speaker 2: my face or actual physical touches, You're out.
33:14
Speaker 3: I could not agree more. I think fatas physical touch
33:16
Speaker 3: is absolutely out. Anger is absolutely out. I just will
33:21
Speaker 3: not put up with that.
33:22
Speaker 4: Kelly, can you tell folks because some are gonna folks
33:25
Speaker 4: are want to hear this, and there're gonna be some
33:27
Speaker 4: guys who might be interested in you. They are going
33:29
Speaker 4: to hear this, and they might not jump on Rya.
33:31
Speaker 4: Maybe they just wow, do I have a shot at Kelly?
33:35
Speaker 4: What what is the you said? You don't text, you
33:37
Speaker 4: don't like the text? You're not good on text? How
33:39
Speaker 4: should What is the right way to court Kelly?
33:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, just ask me out and slid into your DMS.
33:48
Speaker 4: Does that work?
33:48
Speaker 2: So my husband got me that way. I love that.
33:53
Speaker 3: Yeah, please don't sign them to my DMS.
33:55
Speaker 2: I feel like it's better than RYA though. I've got
33:56
Speaker 2: to be honest with you. Instagram is like the better
33:58
Speaker 2: dating app I think. Yeah, I would just say be
34:02
Speaker 2: open to it.
34:02
Speaker 3: I just get so many weird people doing so many
34:04
Speaker 3: weird things.
34:05
Speaker 2: Well, you got to make sure they're like got a
34:06
Speaker 2: little verified check.
34:08
Speaker 1: We need the little blue check mark, not a paycheck either, Like.
34:12
Speaker 3: No, like I don't know you, Like I try to
34:14
Speaker 3: be nice, but I'm like, oh god, I guess you know,
34:20
Speaker 3: just if you knew someone that I knew, just to
34:22
Speaker 3: give me some comfort, because like, like when we talked
34:24
Speaker 3: about that before, like trust is really important to me,
34:27
Speaker 3: and so just for me to like feel like I'm
34:31
Speaker 3: you know, like you're not trying to like use me
34:33
Speaker 3: is like that's just like my big thing too. I
34:36
Speaker 3: mean outside of like you know, aggressive behavior like aggression
34:40
Speaker 3: towards your your exes or any anything like that, but
34:43
Speaker 3: just feeling like I'm being used just just not like
34:47
Speaker 3: I've had so many guys be like, oh, yeah, I'm
34:49
Speaker 3: with Kelly, you know, like Kelly'll handle the reservation or
34:52
Speaker 3: Kelly'll do this. I'm like, oh, who's Kelly? Like you
34:55
Speaker 3: want to be?
34:56
Speaker 1: I mean, doesn't every woman. I don't want to speak
34:58
Speaker 1: for everyone, but I'm going to say it anyway and
35:01
Speaker 1: just ask you too what you think. Don't we all
35:03
Speaker 1: just at the end of the day, no matter how
35:05
Speaker 1: much money we have or how much success we've had,
35:08
Speaker 1: don't we just want to be taken care of?
35:10
Speaker 2: Yes, you guys. I had this guy post divorce where
35:13
Speaker 2: he took me on a nice little weekend getaway and
35:16
Speaker 2: at the very end he goes, hey, do you mind
35:17
Speaker 2: posting this? And I go and I said I and
35:20
Speaker 2: I knew exactly what was coming. And I said, what
35:22
Speaker 2: do you mean why? And he goes, well, because if
35:24
Speaker 2: you post, we get it for free.
35:25
Speaker 4: And I was like, oh, no, no, no.
35:28
Speaker 1: No, yeah that's awful, Like yeah, let me, that's horrible.
35:32
Speaker 2: But then my problem is I continue dating this person
35:34
Speaker 2: like that's like, but those are things that now you see.
35:38
Speaker 2: Then I'm like, you know, but I'm like, that's you
35:40
Speaker 2: don't want to you want someone to take care of
35:42
Speaker 2: you and not take advantage of you.
35:44
Speaker 3: Yeah, there you go.
35:45
Speaker 4: Yeah, you'll always say she says it all the time.
35:47
Speaker 4: It's just amount of safety. You just make me feel serious.
35:49
Speaker 4: It's not just financial, just emotional safety.
35:52
Speaker 1: Emotional safety.
35:52
Speaker 4: I feel like somebody's got you in that way, so
35:54
Speaker 4: that that's nuts. That's where are you'll finding these dudes?
35:58
Speaker 3: What is wrong with us? At TJ okay exactly.
36:04
Speaker 4: That's crazy. Nothing's wrong with y'all. Something sometimes is terribly wrong.
36:07
Speaker 2: We want to Yeah, I think we hold on to
36:09
Speaker 2: people because we think maybe that's our best shot and
36:12
Speaker 2: that's the only person out there. But it's not. But
36:14
Speaker 2: it's not, it's not. And we're so excited to have
36:15
Speaker 2: Kelly be a part of our celebrity mentor team on
36:18
Speaker 2: I Do Part two. We know our single listeners are
36:20
Speaker 2: going to learn so much from you. So if you
36:21
Speaker 2: are single and ready to find love again, call us
36:24
Speaker 2: one eight four four four I Do Pod. That's eight
36:28
Speaker 2: four four four four three six seven six three or
36:31
Speaker 2: email us at I dopod at iHeartRadio dot com and
36:34
Speaker 2: obviously follow us on Instagram at I Do Part two Pod.
36:38
Speaker 2: I Love That Love You this is so fun. This
36:40
Speaker 2: is it's like the biggest screat and now I just
36:43
Speaker 2: want everyone to be happy and and love and have
36:44
Speaker 2: the heart sing with you guys.
36:46
Speaker 3: Oh my god, you guys. You are You're like a
36:49
Speaker 3: huge hug. I love you, guys.
36:50
Speaker 4: Look, we can't say it enough. You've said a lot
36:51
Speaker 4: of kind words to us here, and look, I will
36:54
Speaker 4: be honest with you. That my first introduction to you.
36:57
Speaker 4: I read plenty, But the first time I've ever saw
36:59
Speaker 4: you on television was when I watched Season three, episode twelve,
37:03
Speaker 4: which was the.
37:04
Speaker 1: Scary Eye Island episode SYE.
37:06
Speaker 4: So that was my first exposure to you. It was
37:11
Speaker 4: a wild scene. But then you walked into this place
37:14
Speaker 4: and you were the warmest, the big smile, big hug.
37:17
Speaker 4: So I I know you say that's authentically you, but
37:20
Speaker 4: it's unfortunate sometimes people think that you're a caricature or
37:23
Speaker 4: that's only you. We're seeing you sit here and talk
37:25
Speaker 4: passionately and authentically and with tears in your eyes about life.
37:29
Speaker 4: You're just going through with like everybody else. So we
37:32
Speaker 4: thank you for your words, and it's a pleasure to
37:34
Speaker 4: get to meet you here.
37:35
Speaker 3: But you're with me on Scary Island. You would have
37:37
Speaker 3: been like, wait, what is going on? You'd be like, Kelly,
37:39
Speaker 3: give me one of those comming bears.
37:41
Speaker 1: I mean, you're you and you still are a single
37:43
Speaker 1: mom who you're a mama mama bear like so many
37:47
Speaker 1: of us are. And yes, you'd like to protect your heart,
37:50
Speaker 1: but more importantly you want to protect your daughter's hearts.
37:52
Speaker 1: And so you can see that, you can feel that
37:54
Speaker 1: that is true and real. And I guess any advice
37:57
Speaker 1: for anyone who wants to date you is they need
37:58
Speaker 1: to make sure your to the loves of your life. Yes,
38:02
Speaker 1: are okay with him first? That's probably the biggest test
38:05
Speaker 1: they have to pass, yes, one.
38:07
Speaker 3: Hundred percent, Because I mean, don't you want like one big, happy,
38:11
Speaker 3: fun family and there's there's and it's just so easy.
38:14
Speaker 3: It's so easy to do. I think that sometimes like
38:17
Speaker 3: men or women to like they create drama so that
38:20
Speaker 3: there's energy towards that person. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no,
38:24
Speaker 3: this is like this is a unit. We want the unit.
38:27
Speaker 3: We don't want, you know, like fractured. We want it
38:29
Speaker 3: to be one big unit. So that's what I'm looking
38:31
Speaker 3: for my missing piece.
38:33
Speaker 2: Well, we're excited. The listeners are going to be so
38:35
Speaker 2: lucky to have you be a mentor, so thank you.
38:38
Speaker 2: I'm excited You're going to find love in the process
38:42
Speaker 2: with them.
38:42
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be crying. I'm gonna be fining love. It's
38:45
Speaker 3: going to be like this huge journey for me.
38:47
Speaker 4: It's like, at the end of that, you end up
38:50
Speaker 4: in a relationship, end up married.
38:52
Speaker 2: We need to get on a group message so you
38:54
Speaker 2: can tell us anything so we can be like no
38:55
Speaker 2: red flag, Nope, we gotta help. We gotta help you too,
38:58
Speaker 2: So here we go.
39:00
Speaker 3: I was I was actually supposed to be with Luan
39:01
Speaker 3: right now. She's on a dating show in Cowbo and
39:04
Speaker 3: I was supposed to be giving her advice today and
39:08
Speaker 3: then and I was thinking to myself, like, what if
39:09
Speaker 3: I met one of the guys and I was interested
39:12
Speaker 3: in that.
39:12
Speaker 2: What if it was a client?
39:14
Speaker 3: Is that a no?
39:15
Speaker 1: No?
39:16
Speaker 3: So I actually met one client who was really attractive,
39:18
Speaker 3: who was so great, and I just said I was
39:20
Speaker 3: honest with them. I was like, you know, I my
39:22
Speaker 3: reputation is everything, and so you know later on, but
39:26
Speaker 3: not while you're working. I can't do it.
39:28
Speaker 1: Sometimes you can find love at work, I was sae let. Yeah,
39:32
Speaker 1: just letting you know that that is actually a great
39:34
Speaker 1: place sometimes to meet someone.
39:36
Speaker 3: But I feel like in my business, because it's a
39:37
Speaker 3: transaction business, you can't. I mean, if you do start
39:41
Speaker 3: down that, it's a very slippery slope. And I just
39:43
Speaker 3: trust is everything, and I want my clients to feel
39:45
Speaker 3: like they are getting there you know that I'm there
39:48
Speaker 3: for them in that financial transaction and if later on
39:52
Speaker 3: something happens like I'm open to that, but not while
39:55
Speaker 3: we're in the middle of, you know, dealing with their money.
39:58
Speaker 4: Thank you for saying transaction, because John, I'm meant to
40:01
Speaker 4: ask you. I know we're wrapping here, but we talked
40:04
Speaker 4: about protecting your finances right with the free nup? How
40:07
Speaker 4: do you do women? Do you protect your heart? How
40:09
Speaker 4: do you go about that? You talk about that step
40:11
Speaker 4: you want to take because I got to protect what
40:13
Speaker 4: I've built. Are women so often trying to protect their heart?
40:17
Speaker 4: And does that get in the way sometimes possibly under community?
40:21
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know if it's so much heart. I
40:23
Speaker 3: think it's just like there's so much more ego now
40:25
Speaker 3: than there ever has been.
40:27
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think just the ego, it's just as
40:31
Speaker 2: a hego is there to protect your protection is first
40:33
Speaker 2: and foremost my babies, Like that's I'll always protect my family,
40:37
Speaker 2: and then I feel like I'm kind of second to that.
40:39
Speaker 2: But yeah, I don't know. I mean, I think we've
40:41
Speaker 2: definitely I'm so scared of for me personally, the unsteadiness
40:47
Speaker 2: of things and fearful of what could happen because it's
40:51
Speaker 2: what I've been used to. But I think now it's
40:52
Speaker 2: like I have to just lean into trusting that it's
40:55
Speaker 2: a different situation and to open my heart up to
40:58
Speaker 2: know that this isn't it's going to be the same
41:01
Speaker 2: thing because this is a different person and I don't
41:03
Speaker 2: have to mirror that.
41:04
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, and and yes, I think TJ. We
41:06
Speaker 1: all do try to protect our hearts, but it can't
41:09
Speaker 1: be at the cost of the other person's. I think
41:10
Speaker 1: that's the big that's the big takeaway. But you know what, Kelly,
41:14
Speaker 1: we're looking forward to. We love weddings here, so we
41:18
Speaker 1: are looking forward to celebrating yours.
41:20
Speaker 3: At the end of all of this.
41:22
Speaker 1: That's I mean, the one that actually happens.
41:24
Speaker 3: I would you know, It's like it's so funny because
41:26
Speaker 3: the wedding business is so huge, and it's like I
41:28
Speaker 3: would love to I will be married. I will get married, Yes,
41:32
Speaker 3: you will. I think like next year is a very
41:33
Speaker 3: big year for me. I'm feeling very very like, well,
41:37
Speaker 3: just because I'm I'm gonna put the work.
41:38
Speaker 1: In, you're manifesting.
41:40
Speaker 2: Wait, actually have someone for you? I think that. Yeah, wait,
41:44
Speaker 2: can on sidebar kind of set you up potentially? Okay,
41:48
Speaker 2: I think it would be great.
41:49
Speaker 1: All right, that's just the beginning, okay of setups and
41:51
Speaker 1: potential new romances and.
41:56
Speaker 3: First putting the work in. You have to at the
42:00
Speaker 3: work in. You have to know what your bandwidth is
42:02
Speaker 3: and you have to put the work in. You can't
42:04
Speaker 3: just be like, yeah, I'm open and available. You have
42:07
Speaker 3: to put the work in. Amen to that.
42:08
Speaker 4: If you are single and ready to find love again,
42:10
Speaker 4: call us at one eight four four four I Do Pod.
42:15
Speaker 4: That's eight four four four four three six seven six three,
42:19
Speaker 4: or you can email us at idopod at iHeartRadio dot com.
42:23
Speaker 4: That's idopod at iHeartRadio dot com. Or you can follow
42:27
Speaker 4: us on Instagram at I Do Part two Pod. That's
42:31
Speaker 4: I Do Part two. That's the digit two in the
42:35
Speaker 4: middle of there. I Do Part two Pod and iHeartRadio
42:38
Speaker 4: Podcast where Falling in love is the main objective