Latest / Balanced Mom Life | self care, time management, boundaries, guilt, goal setting / 37 | Full Days and Empty Feelings...the Time Management Truth for Moms of Teens

Transcript

37 | Full Days and Empty Feelings...the Time Management Truth for Moms of Teens · Balanced Mom Life | self care, time management, boundaries, guilt, goal setting

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  Have you ever looked at the clock at the end of the day and thought,
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  uh, how was I busy every minute and still didn't get to myself once, like, not even once?
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  Or why did managing time used to work so great for me and now nothing seems to stick?
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  It doesn't matter the calendar, the sticky notes, the method, it's just a hot mess express.
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  Or how about this one might be a little scary to admit.
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  Is this just what life feels like now? Constant catch up?
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  If any of that hit home, well, I want you to stay with me because today
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  we're talking about why time management suddenly feels
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  next to impossible in this stage of motherhood when you're raising tweens or teens and why
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  this isn't a discipline problem, a motivation problem, or a personality flaw.
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  Do you feel a little relief? I'm going to explain why, okay?
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  Because it's a motherhood transition no one explains and when you understand it,
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  something shifts. You stop fighting yourself.
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  You start seeing this season more clearly. And clarity is the first step toward
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  prioritizing your time in this season. If this podcast helps put words to what
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  you've been feeling but couldn't quite explain, make sure you follow this show
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  because every week we are unpacking the reality of raising kids in this stage of motherhood.
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  And we're not talking about hacks. We're not hustling here.
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  It's just awareness that helps you breathe again.
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  Do you want to balance pursuing something for yourself and showing up for your family
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  but feel like there aren't enough hours in the day?
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  Welcome to Balanced Mom Life. I'm Sarah, a coach's wife and mom of three teens,
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  and I get it. It's easy to lose sight of who you are while trying to keep up with everyone else's
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  needs. On this podcast, I share my simple method for creating balance in this transitional season
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  of motherhood, one that helped me find time for myself without the overwhelm or guilt.
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  So if you're done waiting for someday and ready to move forward in this season with confidence,
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  you're in the right spot. Let's get to it.
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  There was a stretch when my girls were younger. I've been looking back at a lot of photos lately
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  now that I have a high school senior and just reminiscing at videos and photos.
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  And it's just like I remember I could plan a day and pretty much trust that it would
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  pan out the way that it was planned. Was it busy? Absolutely.
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  Predictable? Well, also yes. I mean, you had your meals, school schedules, activities.
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  I mean, it was full, but it had a rhythm. And then the tween and early teen years hit,
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  and suddenly my day wasn't just tasks. It was emotional management, coordinating all the rides,
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  the carpool, sending this kid over here, that kid over here, last minute changes to those plans,
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  and not to mention future planning, navigating social circles on top of school pressure,
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  and conversations that couldn't be rushed. I mean, there has been so many times when we're
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  in the car driving, my girls whip out this big life-altering question, and I'm like,
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  uh, can we put a pin in that? Because I want to have a thoughtful response, right?
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  Well, I just kept trying to fix the tension with better time management. I got a new planner,
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  new routine, a new promise to wake up earlier and get ahead of my day. And every time it didn't work,
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  my brain went straight to, uh, Sarah, why can't you get your act together? I mean,
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  what are you doing here? Well, what I want to teach you today is this. Nothing is wrong with
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  your ability to manage time. The job changed, and we're still trying to manage this version
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  of motherhood with tools built for an earlier season. So why does that matter? Well, because
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  when you misdiagnose the problem, you end up blaming yourself. When you see the structure
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  clearly, well, you can kick that mom guilt to the curb because it loosens its grip a little bit.
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  It gives you a little bit of grace, right? And that opens the door to real balance. I'm not
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  talking about perfect balance because there's no such thing, but sustainable balance that includes
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  you. And today you're going to learn why your time feels a little slippery and why your brain
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  never feels like it's done and why this season requires a different kind of awareness,
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  not more discipline. So we're going to go over a few points here. And the first one I want to make
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  is that this work became mental, not visible. I mean, when your kids were little, you're changing
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  diapers, blowing noses, tying shoes, helping pack backpacks, getting the lunches ready,
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  right? Motherhood is more physical. You can actually see the work, the laundry, the meals,
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  bedtime, clean up. There's a beginning and an end, right? You have a morning routine
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  and then a bedtime routine that would include maybe reading your kid a bedtime story,
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  saying prayers, kissing them goodnight. Well, that is changing. Teen motherhood is different.
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  The work becomes mental and emotional. I mean, you're managing conversations that matter. And so
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  you're trying to stay up in the middle of the night. Like for me, if I'm up past 930 or 10,
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  it's like, whoa, okay, but let's talk, right? Decisions that are having long term impacts,
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  emotional climates in your house, social pressure, academic pressure. I mean, are you kidding me?
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  And the future sitting quietly in the background. I mean, the mental work doesn't create the same
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  feeling of completion as physical work. Let's just call it out for what it is. You can finish
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  the dishes. You cannot finish thinking about your child. That's why your brain never feels done.
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  Not because you're inefficient, but because the work has no clean edge. And when your brain never
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  gets a finish line, time feels heavier. Second point I want to make is that you're coordinating
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  lives, not just a schedule. You are no longer managing one household rhythm. You're coordinating
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  multiple developing humans, each with independent calendars, having those emotional highs and lows,
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  changing priorities, having unexpected needs and identities forming in real time. I mean,
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  you are tracking all of it even when no one sees you doing it. I mean, sometimes I just want to
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  hide myself in my pantry with a bag full of chips and give myself a mom time out. And sometimes I
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  do. I mean, my husband and I were talking about this the other day, that sweet spot of parenting
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  when our kids were in elementary age, you know, and they just all hung out together. And yes,
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  they had their little sporting events, but it was nothing crazy. We had a routine dinner time,
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  and it just was like different, right? And, you know, that traditional time management that you
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  used to rely on, it assumes that you have it under control. But teen motherhood is built
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  on interruption. It requires flexibility, anticipation, and emotional availability.
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  That's not failure. That's advanced cognitive labor. And once you name it, you stop expecting
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  your days to behave like they used to. The third point I want to make is that urgency
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  is replacing rhythm. This one is subtle. You know, when your kids were younger, days had a rhythm.
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  Now they are ruled by urgency. Texts that they send you that can't wait, like because you didn't
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  respond the first time, they're like, Mom, Mom, are you there? Do you hear me? Can you respond ASAP?
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  You have a shift in the schedule. Oh, this practice got moved to this day. This one to
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  the other day. You got the emotional flare-ups, the deadlines that passed because no one was on
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  top of them. And don't forget, transportation coordination especially hits home hard if you
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  do not have another driver in the house. And decisions feel immediate all the time.
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  You know, this urgency fragments attention, and fragmented attention feels like utter chaos.
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  I just want you to hear me on this. You are not bad at time management. You are living inside a
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  season that interrupts constantly, and that distinction matters. Because it moves the story
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  from, oh my gosh, I'm failing, I can't get my act together, to this environment is demanding. And when
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  you see that, you can respond with compassion instead of pressure. So here's something I want
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  you to try this week. Not to fix your schedule. Not to optimize anything. I want you just to observe.
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  For one day, only one, I want you to notice where your attention is being pulled.
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  Like how many decisions are you actually making before noon? And what stays open in your mind?
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  How many mental tabs do you got going on? What emotional labor are you quietly carrying?
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  You're not trying to change it here. You're just trying to see it. Because most moms are trying to
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  improve a day they haven't fully understood yet. And clarity starts with accurate observation.
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  And awareness alone, I mean that in itself helps to minimize the guilt. Because you finally see
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  the weight that you've been carrying here. And I just want to leave you with a word of
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  encouragement. If time is feeling harder than it used to, if you feel stretched thin like a
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  Gumby doll and you're just feeling like, oh my goodness, I can't even explain why I feel this way.
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  And if you've wondered why you can't keep up like the old version of you, you're not weaker. You are
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  in a more complex season. And complexity requires grace, not criticism. You are adapting in real
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  time to raising humans who are becoming themselves. And here's the thing, they're changing, but you
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  are too. This is sacred work here. And the fact that you are here trying to understand instead
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  of numbing out, well that says everything about the kind of mom you are. You are not behind.
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  You're in transition. And transition is where clarity is born. If this episode gave you language
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  to something you've been carrying silently, I want to invite you inside my email community.
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  That's where I share deeper reflections, tools, and conversations about prioritizing your time
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  without guilt as your kids grow up. You can go to westmetromom.com forward slash community or
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  you can find the link in the show notes. And if this resonated with you, follow the podcast if
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  you're not already doing so because you're not going to want to miss next week. Remember, you're
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  not doing this wrong. You're doing something hard and you don't have to navigate it alone.
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  Hey friend, I hope you enjoyed today's episode. If it encouraged you, would you take 30 seconds
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  and share it with a friend who might need a little support in this in-between season of motherhood?
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  And if you have a moment, I'd love for you to leave a quick review. It truly lights me up to
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  know this podcast is helping you. Until then, remember that finding time for yourself is
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  possible and you can start right now.