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Adulting and Making Friends After 30 · Skirts Up!

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Am I about to send my ex into my bedroom to wake up my
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husband at 2 o'clock in the morning? And if I do this,
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is my husband gonna accidentally shoot my ass?
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And so then I'm contemplating my life then too. Like, what am I doing?
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Rise and shine, ladies. You're tuned in to skirts up with Samantha and Melissa. We
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got your daily dose of hope and humor while we discuss everything from failing
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to succeeding and all the spiciness in between.
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Hey, everyone. We are back again. This is Samantha. And Melissa.
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Well, Melissa, what was your fail of the week? Okay.
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I get home, and my husband is angrily
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opening the mail. Oh, that sounds
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good. Is Brett Brett angry? Oh, aggressive? Yes.
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What? He was aggressive. He goes Oh, no. You got a ticket.
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And I was like, how do you know it was me? And he goes, because
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I already looked it up, and I was at work.
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No. Busted. And I was like, oh my gosh. I was like, okay,
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where? And he's like, it's right down the street on Peachtree because we
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live in Sugar Hill. And they did put in a camera.
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Did you know about the camera, or is this how you learned about the camera?
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I knew about it, but and even my friend Jacob and I, we drove past
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one day and we were talking. He goes, they said there's a camera, but I
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don't know where it is. And I was like, and it's probably there to scare
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people. I'm so embarrassed.
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You guys, the worst part of it is it was a school zone. Of course.
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Yeah. You know what's interesting? What? My fancy
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little mom car, it tells me when a school
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system with a camera is coming up and it goes, ding. What?
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Ding. You're going too fast. Ding. Ding. Really? And it
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warns me that I am entering a school zone with a camera and that I
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better slow my ass down. That is sweet. What car do you have for everybody?
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It is a Telluride. Yeah. The newest addition. That's what,
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It's pretty fun. It is. And that's what my one of my best friend's Pyle,
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she her husband's got a time No. Telluride. I'll tell you a fun story about
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this telluride another time. But Oh, wait. No. You kinda have to tell it now.
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Oh, is that gonna be my fail of the week now? That's a really
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good fail. Alright. So we'll call my fail
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of the week my Telluride fail. Alright. So I don't get
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out much. I don't I don't go anywhere. This is before seizure time, though,
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so I was getting out at least more. You were actually leaving.
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So Melissa and I had gotten together with my friend Courtney, my my best
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friend. Her bestie. And we were going she listened to this podcast
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called, I've Had It, and it's her favorite podcast. And she asked us if we'd
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go with her so that she could go see them live. And so we go
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with her to the show. We had a great time. Courtney and I are not
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responsible together, mind you. Like, anything bad that could happen will
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happen, and we we don't need to go into that. We did have
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fun, though. A little bit. Lots of fun. Like, it's
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probably something We didn't do anything we did not do thing that would break
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any marriage vows or anything like that. Not. We didn't do any good girls.
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That I wouldn't tell my mama. Maybe not her mama. But Oh, yeah. I
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don't talk to my mom about a lot of things, but I told my husband.
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Oh, our husbands would be so proud of us. We did something, and
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nothing bad happened. That is so cute. I think I must have already
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left at that point. Literally, we high fived at the door, and we
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were like, oh, chest pound. We did something good. Nothing
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bad happened. Our husbands are gonna be so proud of us. Like,
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yes. We're adults now. Well,
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I start driving home. And I'm driving home
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and and I'm probably a little over halfway home. We live, like, an hour
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away, hour and some away. And I'm over halfway home. My
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husband and I have already gotten off the phone with each other. He's trying to
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stay awake for me, you know, it's way past our bedtime. Oh, that's sweet.
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So I'm driving home. Now I'm on the stretch of, like,
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darkness road because I live out in the sticks, and
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I'm driving in and I was using my phone as my GPS and everyone tells
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you, like, you know, you know, it's illegal to not hold your phone and drive
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and they make these little contraptions that'll hold your phone for you. And I'm
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just not that, just not that with it even though my fancy Telluride
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also has a Oh, it does? It also has a map. It's my
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phone bell. And just like any other normal human, I go and
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I catch my phone mid fall, and I stick my arm down in between that
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hole. Wait. Is the is the success in the story that you caught your phone?
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Sure. Still nothing bad
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happened. She got it. I caught it before it fell in between the crack of
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abyss, but then my arm was
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stuck. My arm was stuck in the hole. Well, you followed it into the crack
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of the abyss. I did, but Isn't that what everyone does? You go and you
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catch your phone and you try to catch it before it all. Extinct. I cannot
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fault you. I wouldn't anyway. Well okay. So
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there is there is a positive to the story. Alright. So I'm driving.
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My arm is literally literally stuck in this
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hole of my car. And so now I'm driving at 2 o'clock in the
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morning sideways in my car where my head I'm short. It's just barely above
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the steering wheel because my arm is fucking stuck. And I'm driving, and
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I, like, cannot get my arm out, and it hurts. Like, I can feel my
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skin being cut. And I'm like, what do I do? And I'm about to
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drive past a police station. I'm like, do I pull over? Because I'm trying to
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call Simon. That's what I was gonna say. Yeah. So my car with my other
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hand, you know, like, you know Weren't you trying to use voice command or something?
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I hit my voice command real fast and I, you know, stuck sideways and I'm
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like, call sexy bearded man because that's my husband. Why is that
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girl? So I tell my car to call him. He doesn't answer. And, I mean,
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we've just been off the phone, like, for 10 minutes. The only thing I know
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what to do is call my mom at 2 o'clock in the morning. And so
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she answers the phone. She's like, are you okay? And I'm like, I'm like, you
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are. It's like my arm is stuck. And she's like, where what do you mean
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your arm is stuck? And I had to explain to her where my arm is
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stuck and why it's stuck. And I I was like, I'm passing a police station.
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I don't know what to do. Like, my arm is being cut. Do I stop?
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And she goes, did you drink? And I was like, I mean, like
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hours ago. And she was like, I don't know. I'd be kinda worried
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that that, like, you could get in trouble for that. And
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I was like, maybe. Okay. I'm a keep driving. And then, like, my arm is
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just it's throbbing. I can feel circulation being cut off. It was
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hours ago, though. Like, there's no way you were driving. Probably. I don't know.
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But, like, I don't know. Is still scary. Yeah. You don't know what can
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happen? And so then I'm passing a fire station. I'm like, mom, what do I
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do? Like, do I stop at the fire station? Do I ask them to help
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me? And then she goes, I don't know. She goes, maybe if you can
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just get home. So don't call mom. She's like,
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if you can just get home. So she stays on the phone with
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me for the rest of the 25 minutes and my arm is fucking stuck in
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the car on the way home. And I pull into the driveway, and then I'm
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staring at my house. I'm like, mom, if you're not answering the
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phone, how is he gonna know I'm out here? And she goes,
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oh, I don't know. She goes, well, try calling him
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again. I'm like, okay. So then I go to the other line. I try to
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call him again. Of course, he doesn't answer. I come back over. I'm like, mom,
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he's not answering. He's asleep. And I was like, I could honk my horn and
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wake up one of my kids, and hopefully, they'll go get him. You know?
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And it's like but then I gotta think of my kids why I'm fucking stuck
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in my car at 2 o'clock in the morning. And then and so
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then I was like, I don't know what to do. Call my ex. And
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so my mom said, you want me to call Andrew? And I was like, I
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guess he'll hear it. And so she calls Andrew
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and he answers. And he lives 8 minutes from our house. I did tell
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you in episode 1 that he is a really nice guy. You did. He will
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be there for you. You will help us and our kids, including mine and
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Simon's child. That is not his. And I didn't give him moment whenever.
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That is just him. He's single, ladies, though, if anyone's curious. He is single.
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So Andrew answers. He knows my mom can't come and help me because that would
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be like World War 4 and 3? Is that what people say? 4 or 3?
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3. Oh, whatever. There's I don't know what I mean. Okay. We're
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continuing on. So am I about to
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send my ex into my bedroom to wake up my husband
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at 2 o'clock in the morning? And if I do this, is my husband gonna
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accidentally shoot my ex?
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So then I'm contemplating my life then too. Like, what am I doing? And
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so somehow, Andrew pulls up and
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Simon is walking out of the house. Oh. Somehow. I I, like, I don't
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remember. I think Simon might have finally woken up, saw my 20,000
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phone calls and called me back, and Andrew's standing next to me. And I was
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like, I need you to come outside. I need you to come outside right now
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because things are happening and Andrew's here and I need you outside. And
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he was like, oh, okay. So he comes stumbling outside. So then the
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boys are talking about, like, looking at my hand and they're like, why can't just
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pull it out? And I was like, do you see these
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cuts on my arm? That's for me trying to pull it out. I am bleeding.
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And so so then we're, like, trying to my mom's on the
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phone and she's like, oh my god. I'm like, what is that? My baby.
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Don't let the car eat my baby. You know, instead of the dingo.
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Yes. I do. Thank you for explaining. I
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don't know anything about where the dingo came from, but I know that saying.
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Oh, I think it's from, I'll think of the name. I'll think of the
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movie. It's from a nineties movie. Well, I'll stop making the story so dramatic.
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The boys end up But it was. You're stuck in your cart 3 in the
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morning, and you go to bed. It was dramatic. The boys, one of them's pulling
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one of them I can't remember which one's doing what now, but one of them's
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leaning over me and, had, like, unbuckled me and then is
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pulling my seat from my right side, is pulling my seat as far as I
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can towards the driver's network. One of them had my hand and was trying to
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help maneuver my hand, and one of them was pulling the seat away trying to
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get But you got out. I got out. Yeah. I I eventually, I
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did get out. Andrew went home. Simon was like, what the hell? And I was
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like, you'd be so proud of us. Nothing bad happened
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until the car ate me. Because it ate me. So
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that's the Telluride story. We can blame it on the telluride. Telluride. And Andrew
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immediately the next day bought me the these, like, little gap things.
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And so That is adorable. Didn't know that part of the story, and that's hilarious.
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Until now that there's a gap thing in my car. I didn't even know they
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had those. I didn't know either. But, apparently, it's common that tellurides eat your hand.
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Damn it. You know, don't stick your hand down that hole.
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Out of all the holes. Don't stick your hand down that
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one. Thank God for voice call. Yeah. Because I was able to call
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for help. Yeah. And, I'm sure there's a positive 3. Still
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nothing technically bad happened. I'm gonna say the positive is now we can share
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with you in our links that little spacer thing Yes.
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So it doesn't happen to you. The moral of the story, don't stick your hand
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down the fucking hole. Don't do it. Or just get a spacer thing or get
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a spacer. Moral of the story. Moral of the story
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is sometimes there's not a real positive to your
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fail, but a fail is a good way to remind
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yourself Not to do it again. That. But
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on the flip side, tell me, do you know how many fucking school tickets we've
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gotten? Like, at one point, I thought that we're our license was gonna be revoked.
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Like, serious. We got, like They don't mess around. It's we got, like, obviously
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school zone speeding tickets in, like, a couple of months span. And I was
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like between Simon and I, like, between the 2 of us. And I literally thought,
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like, when do they take your license? Like, how many of these can you get
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before you, like, really get in trouble? Yeah. That's a good question. Maybe I should
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look that up. You should look that up. Well,
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so We have learned. Live and learn. Live and learn. Don't stick
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your hand in holes. Don't speed in the school's bones. That's right. Don't
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speed. Well, kids, that is fun. Yeah.
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Well, no. I didn't do it because I just did it because I was being
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absent minded. Oh. And, actually, I wasn't really
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speeding for the regular. If the if the
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yeah. Okay. Fine. That's no excuse. You shouldn't speed in this one for sure because
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kids should die. Let's let's take Simon's car out for a spin. Oh, that would
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be so fun. He has a nice car. It goes oh. Oh, really?
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Yeah. I do. It, like, sucks you back into the back of the seat when
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you, like, tap the gas because it's so, like, it's got that horsepower that's so
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hard. It just, like, it sucks you back. That sounds fun. It is fun.
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I wonder if we could, like, rent can't you, like, go to a racetrack and
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You can. Rent, like, super fast cars? And I have a burning desire
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to drive, like, a, McLaren someday. Like, I
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maybe want one. I don't know anything about cars, but I would want a Corvette.
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To you while you drive that? That'd be nice. Would love to drive a fast
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car. I love I don't know what, though. Like, yeah, I know what a Corvette
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is, but I don't really know what a Clarin is. Well, I'm still at minimum
12:35
6 months away, so we'll see what happens. 6 months away from driving Mc oh,
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I was like, she's about to be rich. I do. She's
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talking about her seizure. I wish. So what's on the front with
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that? Well If you want to share. If we
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are feeling a little froggy next week, I get this fun
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little contraption. What's on the front? If we're feeling froggy, like, if we're feeling, like,
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you know, a little frisky, like, we wanna have some excitement. I've
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never heard froggy in my life. Not the right word? I can't
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imagine, like, my husband wanting to get have sex with me and being like, you
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cute little frog, you. Is froggy not the right
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word? I don't think it is. Oh, I might have made that. Hey. Hey. Correct
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me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't you say frisky? No. Because frisket's not the word
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I was trying to say. She was trying to say froggy. Okay. I'm moving on.
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Froggy like smells frog. Like, if we wanna get a little crazy. A little yeah.
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Yeah. Froggy. Like, crazy. Like a frog. That makes
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sense. Right? We will record our next episode
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in video while I got this fun little ambulatory
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EEG strapped to my head. You're talking about us feeling froggy,
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not you and Simon feeling so good. Feeling froggy. Oh my god. So maybe frisky
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is not the word. It wasn't the word. We're not gonna get frisky on camera,
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Melissa. Still, I wouldn't say, like, froggy either, but that's okay.
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Yeah. If we are feeling like little frogs next week I can't
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even say that with a straight face. Then we are gonna
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film her with the e so what she's basically saying is you are gonna be
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wearing one for how long? 3 days. Okay. Good. Good. Because
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we really did. Why don't you can you share what happened last time when we
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were recording? Oh, yeah. This is actually a good thing, and it
14:12
was It actually did turn out good. That's another fail for that should have
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been my fail today. Anyways, it's not really a fail. It's not really a fail.
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They just wanna hear all the stories. We tried to record this episode for
14:23
y'all earlier in the week. We tried to do it, like, 5 days ago while
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we were recording. And all of a sudden,
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I like, I don't even know if the words coming out of my mouth
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were even what we were talking about. I'm gonna be quite honest. And all of
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a sudden, I just remember I just remember shaking
14:42
my head and, not remembering what we were talking about.
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And I remember Melissa saying, are you about to have a seizure? I think you're
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having a seizure. And I'm like, no. No. No. No. I'm fine. And then
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I it it was a seizure. And so she called Simon and was
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like, what am I supposed to do? Like, I don't like and he was like,
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oh, okay. Well, let's see if we can give her the emergency meds, but he
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didn't have the answer. We don't have the answer. Had a seizure. And,
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too late to give the emergency medication. Seizures knock me out. I
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am so confused. I can't, put together words, sentences. In
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Andrew's words, her body is now trying to catch up with
15:17
itself. And I would say that's what it felt like. And for the next
15:21
couple of it takes me 2 days to be able to put words
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and sentences together that makes sense. It just
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doesn't process. It I can't process things. And it wasn't until
15:32
about, like, probably 6 that evening when I finally was, like, at least
15:36
coherent enough to be, like, thinking about, like, man, what? This happened
15:39
again? Like, I'm really sick of this. And I'm sitting there, and I'm,
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like, sitting there, and I go, Simon. He's like, what?
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We were recording an episode. It's funny that you remember it that
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way. Not funny. It means that you weren't coherent because we
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did talk about that. Are you serious? Mhmm. Yeah. We're like, we got you on
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the recording, and we replayed it and watched it together. No. I don't remember that.
16:01
Yeah. We did. Man. Yeah. They get you. It I don't know.
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That's wild. Well, I think I have it on camera. And you're able to show
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him? Yeah. We we watched it together, and then we cut the, like, clip out
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into a smaller clip of where you see it happening. And then
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you see, like, how it came about and then you see the the after where
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I just can't put words together. I can't put a thought together.
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And we're able to send that to the doctor, and now we have the EEG
16:27
schedule for next week for 3 days. Which is great because it's been
16:31
how many months now trying to figure out and figure out
16:34
type, which this doctor is a new doctor and he's on his
16:38
shit. He already, like, knows what kind we're having. Just
16:42
wants to get that evidence. Did the video help or
16:45
hasn't seen it or is it not yet? Waiting on that. But so that
16:49
was actually a really good thing. It was. It felt like a fail. I was
16:52
very upset. I was depressed. She's still the rest of the day. Herself. But,
16:56
like, I was you wouldn't be impressed with somebody who
17:00
broke their leg and couldn't walk across the room or somebody who had,
17:04
I don't know, diabetes and couldn't eat the cake for their
17:08
birthday. I don't know. Like the only thing I have that I can control
17:11
is this podcast, what we're doing, what we're talking about,
17:15
when we record it. Like, this is the only thing I have to control in
17:18
my life right now. So when something like that happens unexpectedly,
17:23
I can't even take care of my kid at that point. I can't take care
17:26
of my kid at that point. I'm gonna throw yes. That is awful. I'm a
17:28
throw in a a a a wrench to that.
17:33
In the Buddhist mindset. Oh, now we're getting Buddhist.
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But one of the main things that is taught
17:41
is that we have no control over anything. We don't own anything. We
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don't have control. Anything that we have could go away any given moment.
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And if we can accept that, we're gonna actually be able to roll with the
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punches a lot easier. I'll think on that. Think on it. I'll think on
17:56
that. See how I feel. Life is rough, but we're getting somewhere. She
18:00
is going to possibly be wearing the what's it called? Headset?
18:04
Ambulatory EEG. Next recording.
18:08
Alright. Well, today, our episode is making friends
18:11
after our thirties. And, let's see.
18:15
Today's episode is called making friends after your thirties.
18:19
So I remember when my mom turned 30. Like, I
18:23
remember that day, the day my mom turned 30. We lived in Texas.
18:26
She's she's depressed. She's really sad leading up to this day. Like,
18:30
she's just dreading it. So she gets a card in the mail from her friend.
18:33
It's a picture of an old, old, old woman with boobs sagging to the
18:37
ground. And it's something about, you know, now
18:41
you're now you're old. You're 30. I remember she spent the whole day in the
18:45
bathtub just very upset, didn't wanna talk to anyone. She just sat in the tub
18:48
all day crying over being 30 in this tub. And
18:52
and and then, you know, later in her
18:55
thirties, we are in Georgia and she's doing the carpool
18:59
from, you know, my school to ROTC and she's carpooling with me
19:03
and all my other friends from ROTC driving us back and forth to wherever.
19:07
And I remember, like, she it was to the point where she'd be like, y'all
19:10
need to turn that music down. I'm trying to see. And we're like You're 30
19:14
now. You're blind? She she yeah. She, I mean, at this point, she's probably 38.
19:18
Oh, yeah. 35, 38, whatever. She's in her thirties. And I'm like, how is that
19:21
gonna help you? And I'm cracking up. She's like, you know, if she pops a
19:25
curb or or or any little minor thing that she does on accident while she's
19:28
driving, I'm like, god. Jesus Christ, mom. Like, when you turn 30, I think
19:32
the license should be provoked. And then she would get so offended. She'd be like,
19:36
you just wait. You just wait until you're 30 and you see how you
19:40
feel. And jokes on me
19:44
because I am 30, just turned 30, and I can't drive.
19:48
Oh. I find it hilarious. My mom hand up some
19:51
karma. It makes my mom very sad when I say that, but it cracks me
19:55
the hell up because I'm like glad that you're laughing about it. Joke's on me.
19:58
What age when you were little did you like, if someone said,
20:02
hey, 10 year old Melissa, at what age do you then call
20:06
someone old? What age would you say? Maybe I'm
20:09
old now because I feel like I'm so removed from that that I don't know
20:12
what I would have said in all. I would have said 30. Yeah. Yeah. I
20:15
for some reason, realized that might have said 50 or 60. I'm
20:19
respectful. My kids. Because my dad told me you're halfway dead at 50. We
20:23
say that we're getting old and that we're so old all the time that my
20:26
kids at, like, 7 years old,
20:30
they're like, you're not old until you're 80. Oh, that's sweet. And we're just, like,
20:34
looking at them and we're like, How are they so advanced? How are they so
20:37
smart? And evolved. Yeah. I was gonna share
20:42
I know we're talking about our thirties. The worst birthday I ever had
20:45
was when I turned 20, and that was because my dad and
20:49
my mom so I was a nanny, and I lived in Ohio. And I, caught
20:53
a bus for my birthday and went down to Kentucky where my parents lived.
20:57
And while I was there, my dad just started,
21:01
like, he started, like, just, like, yelling and getting
21:05
upset with me. Like, you're 20 years see, in in the Mormon church,
21:09
you're kind of old if you're not like and I had never really had a
21:13
steady boyfriend at that age, and he
21:16
was just getting on my back. Like, you are 20. You're
21:20
not married. You're not even having a prospect of getting married.
21:24
And I just felt awful. I felt like I was so old and I was
21:27
gonna be this old maid and nobody was gonna want me.
21:31
And so I was just crying. I was I was I was just bawling and
21:34
my dad was going at me. And that was my 20th birthday. And I remember
21:37
thinking, I'm so old and now I wish I could go back because,
21:42
I was even later, like, after my mission when I was
21:46
23, 24, and I was in the singles singles ward is what you call it.
21:49
Because in when you reach the age of 18, instead of going to church with
21:53
just everybody else, you go to church with other singles, other people up into
21:57
the age of 30 because they want you to freaking get married. Interesting.
22:01
Yeah. And as a return missionary, because there's another old trope in the church
22:04
where girls only go on missions because they couldn't get married. Oh. And
22:08
they weren't cute enough. And so I
22:12
felt like there was something wrong with me as soon as I turned 20.
22:16
And, that was hard. That was really hard because I do wish I could
22:19
go back and say, yeah. Normal. Fine. Yes.
22:23
You're normal. 20 is so young. 23. 25 is
22:27
young. Yeah. But yeah. So, anyway, in our thirties, we still don't have
22:30
our shit together, it feels like. Oh, we do. Yeah. You look. You
22:34
look at people in their thirties when you're in your twenties, and you think, I
22:38
still when someone goes, what do I do? When, like, someone in their twenties goes,
22:41
what do I do about this? Like, I'm I don't know what to do. I'm
22:44
like, I don't know. Go ask them to double in the Right. Like, just stare
22:46
at me silently. And I'm like, oh, shit. That's me. Mhmm. Oh, okay.
22:50
I should have an answer. That's us. When I turned
22:54
30, I think my 30th birthday has probably been my favorite birthday,
22:58
the one that stood out the most. I have been planning that thing for,
23:02
and and this was just a couple months ago. I've been planning that birthday for
23:05
a year. That's really cute. My best friend Courtney and I, I knew that we
23:08
were gonna do, a photoshoot, and we dressed up in pink tutus.
23:12
With Courtney's permission, can we link some of your photos? Yeah. Of
23:15
course. I will link those. Look them up. They are so cute. She
23:19
did a smash cake, and, of course, I'm just a little princess. So, like, you
23:23
know, I just stood pretty with my cake, and, I don't drink alcohol
23:26
anymore, but, you know, acted like I had a bottle
23:30
of champagne and, you know, acted cool. And, like You can be cool without
23:34
alcohol, but I think you're just saying you wanted to get across the idea that
23:37
it's a party. But, also, like, that's our thing. Like, our
23:41
progression photos that we do together, it we have this pose. Do you do
23:45
progression photos? We do. Like, every year? Not every year. It's
23:48
like at big milestones. So, like, when I was pregnant with
23:52
Nora is honestly when this photo progression started. We have some with
23:56
our kids too that we do. But with us, I started when I was pregnant
23:59
with Nora, and and there's a photo a very specific photo of us sitting on
24:03
the couch in a specific way, and I have a plate sitting on my stomach
24:06
of food, and she's got the alcohol because she can drink and I can't. Right?
24:11
But, yeah. So I planned my birthday. I planned, me and Courtney with our
24:14
husband, Courtney and I, with our husbands. We went to Mexico for the
24:18
first time and we stayed in a adult only, all inclusive. About
24:22
y'all list. It was me.
24:26
It was just it was so needed, especially with all the health issues we've been
24:29
going on, going on with me. And then,
24:33
my poor husband has so much family drama going on with his
24:37
mother-in-law and trying to help his sisters and just the whole thing. And so we
24:41
needed it. We needed a break first off, so it was great that I planned
24:43
it. Yeah. So it was really enjoyable. I had a lot of time. We stayed
24:46
in a really nice hotel when we did the photo. So it's just like a
24:49
birthday that just extended and kept doing great. I had a I had
24:53
a blast. I loved it. I don't even know if I was expecting it to
24:56
be so good because, you know, there's my mom's experience and
25:00
then, there's Friends. I think most of us
25:03
binge watch Friends on a regular basis. And you think of that episode where Rachel
25:06
turns 30, and it shows you a clip of when all of them turned
25:10
30, Rachel's mad about it and Joey's crying about it, yelling at his
25:14
birthday cake. Why, god? Why? We had a deal. It was not
25:18
supposed to be me. And that's why this episode is called that, because that's the
25:22
30 clip that comes to my head, even though it could have been 30, flirty
25:24
and thriving. But I like Joey's version. My
25:28
god. Why? Do you remember were you excited for
25:32
your thirties? What what did you what did you do? It's weird because, I
25:36
actually don't remember my 30th birthday. I really
25:39
don't. I know where I was and what I was doing.
25:44
So in 2008, I did have an
25:48
emotional breakdown that led me to move from
25:52
South Carolina to Texas to stay with some of my best friends in the whole
25:54
world. So her name is
25:58
also Melissa, but it's Scott and Melissa. They're married, and they have 2
26:02
kids. So I always call her Melissa Walker, by the way. But,
26:06
Melissa and Scott took me in. They helped me get on my
26:10
feet. I had a dog. I had Waverly. She was my bestest friend in
26:14
the whole world. Like, when I was when I first moved to the walkers and
26:17
I was going through a rough time, I remember saying, I really wish I just
26:20
had a dog in there, like, get a dog. And I thought, it's this
26:24
is your house. Like, you don't have any pets, and
26:29
they didn't care. They just wanted me to be healthy and happy. And we got
26:32
a dog, and she was an inside dog, and she was my baby.
26:36
And obviously yeah. Yeah. Right? I
26:40
when I was 30, I was I was in school. At the time, I thought
26:43
I was gonna go for nursing. Yeah. I
26:47
honestly don't remember a lot. I think I just was doing a lot to try
26:49
to get on my feet, and that's okay. That
26:53
there there are time frames for everyone where it's just getting on your feet. I
26:56
think most of my twenties was swimming. Yeah. Yeah. I don't
27:00
have a lot of memories about the 30th birthday. I do have a lot of
27:04
memories about my thirties. Of course, nothing
27:07
was the way I thought that it was gonna be when I was younger. I
27:10
thought I was gonna have my shit together. I was gonna be married. I
27:14
was gonna have kids because that's what I was kind of raised to
27:18
have and want. And the truth is, I think I
27:21
I did want kids, to tell you the truth.
27:26
We went my ex husband and I, we actually had some
27:30
miscarriages. I was nannying. I
27:33
wasn't, like, working in any kind of corporate position.
27:37
I had gone to school when I was younger to be a dental lab technician,
27:40
but when I had, like, my breakdown and everything in 2008, I moved to
27:44
Texas and just kinda dropped everything. The walkers were so supportive in letting me
27:48
just kind of take time, not do anything for a little bit. I
27:51
kinda helped out around the house and watched their kids and then through,
27:55
word-of-mouth. And since I had nannied when I was younger at the age of 19,
27:59
word-of-mouth got around, and, I just started babysitting and nannying for a
28:03
lot of people. And I did that for 9 years. I also worked
28:07
in a at a barn. This,
28:10
helped somebody. Her name was Gloria. She was also an amazing person.
28:14
Yeah. So my thirties weren't what I thought. Let's just put it that way. I
28:18
felt like I should have had been further along than I was. I think
28:21
everyone's starting to learn that there is no I think leading up to your
28:25
thirties, everyone starts freaking out of, like, my life should be together. Like,
28:29
I should know exactly who I am. I should know exactly what I'm doing. And
28:31
that's just not the case. I think your twenties are a trash fire. And
28:35
so then you're, like, leading up to your 30, then you're like, holy shit. I
28:38
still am on fire. I'm still on fire. And your thirties is figuring it
28:42
out. Getting it together is what I think your fingers are. Far as to say
28:45
your whole life is just figuring it out. And I have a feeling because here
28:49
I am in my forties, I don't feel like I have it figured out.
28:53
And I wonder we'd have to ask, but I wonder if there's people in their
28:56
sixties, seventies and eighties who feel like they still don't have it figured out. I
29:00
don't know. But I would venture far as as far as to say, life is
29:03
just about figuring it out. And there is not I just it gets
29:07
really frustrating all these societal, like, mile
29:11
markers that people try to give us. Like, you should be here. You should be
29:14
doing this. You should. I just don't think that's how it works. I think we're
29:18
all very unique individuals, and we all have a different
29:21
path that we're taking to get where we're going in the end.
29:25
Melissa Walker, she I look at her and I'm always like, she's got
29:29
it together. I wanna be her when I grow up. She's my best friend, obviously,
29:33
but, she's a therapist. She owns her own
29:36
house. She has a practice, her own practice.
29:40
She owns 3 or 4
29:43
horses. She just has all the things that I look at and
29:47
think, oh, I want to be there. But she in her
29:51
thirties, she in her thirties, she had some anxiety and
29:54
depression issues, and then she ended up going back to school. There's just
29:59
no You don't know what's gonna fulfill you. Oh, yeah. So what I was gonna
30:02
say is she always says, as a therapist now, one of her favorite sayings, and
30:05
I've taken it on and I tell everybody, don't shoot on yourself.
30:09
Right? Because literally, like, saying should is shitting
30:13
on yourself. Like, there is no should. If you could have done that, you would
30:17
have done that. You weren't in the capacity or mind frame to do
30:20
whatever you think you should have done. As long as we're always
30:24
trying our best, that's what we should do. Yeah. That's the only should. Like,
30:28
that's In my opinion. I wonder if Melissa would say that. That's a good mind
30:31
frame to try and adapt on. Yeah. I
30:34
feel like I made a lot of friends in my twenties. Right?
30:38
I was going to the singles ward at church, and
30:42
I have a few friends from there that are still, like, ride or die. Like,
30:46
I one in particular, Nikki. Like, we haven't talked in years, but I know if
30:49
I called her up, she would be there for me. But for the most part,
30:53
it was kind of superficial. I'm not gonna lie.
30:57
But then Melissa Walker and Scott, they were there for me.
31:00
I met them when I was 19, actually, in Ohio when I was a nanny
31:03
there. And so and it's true. I moved there, and I
31:07
didn't have any friends. And so my thirties was me
31:10
trying to rebuild my life and make friends. Right? So one of the
31:14
first things I did, and it wasn't even on purpose to make friends, it
31:18
was more because I wanted to play board games,
31:22
which is so dorky. But, I had a friend
31:25
in South Carolina who we would he was my best friend. We would get
31:29
together and we would go to the mall, and there was this little tiny
31:33
board game store that would let you open any game and play it.
31:37
Mhmm. Because she wanted that was that's part of how guys buy any?
31:41
No. But, like, we were also, like, young college age. And,
31:45
anyway, so when I moved to Texas, I was like, I would like to play
31:48
some games. And the walkers not that they wouldn't have played with
31:52
me, but I didn't really own that many. And I don't know. So I
31:55
went up online and I looked up a meetup. I went to the meetup.com
31:59
and looked up a meetup, and I found a bunch of people would meet up
32:02
at this. It was called Cafe Brazil. They don't and it's just people
32:06
get together. And at meetups, people are open.
32:10
You're meeting people who are doing what you're already interested in. So, like, on meetup.com,
32:15
you can find, like, hiking groups. You can find biking
32:18
groups. You can find board game groups. You can find knitting groups. That's
32:22
what social media is like now. It's true. But this is very
32:26
specifically for groups. You get together to do that
32:29
thing. Right? Yeah. So you're kinda meeting somebody
32:33
who maybe travels your like that now. That's awesome. Yeah. We
32:37
ran into a a group in, where were we? In in Costa
32:41
Rica. There was, like, a large group of people and Simon had stopped
32:44
and asked what they were celebrating, and it was a bunch of singles that
32:48
wanted to travel to Costa Rica. And so all the singles
32:52
signed up for this trip and traveled together, so they didn't have to do it
32:56
alone, but could still do it as a singles. That's awesome. Yeah. I have made
32:59
some of my most best friends in the world to this day through that group.
33:03
Shout out Lindy, Nancy, Daryl, Blake,
33:07
Monty, but, feel left out if she forgot your
33:10
name. Please don't. The point moral
33:14
of the story story is that Melissa does not have a hard time making friends.
33:18
Well, it was hard. I went that first
33:22
time. It was uncomfortable because they're all playing games I don't know, and I
33:25
felt kinda stupid. But when you're at a meetup,
33:29
you're almost automatically around people who are trying to
33:34
bond over something, and they're gonna be open and accepting
33:37
and be like, here, let me show you how we do it. That makes sense.
33:41
Right? So that was a really easy way for me to make friends, and it
33:45
just kinda happened. Like, somebody I oh, I met it was CW.
33:48
I sat down at a game. Hi, CW. And
33:52
he was like, hey. I think you would like to come over
33:56
to another game night group that we have, like, that's at
34:00
someone's house. And then I started getting when I went to that, I was
34:03
able to kind of like, you're fine. I was able to
34:07
get more, I don't know, more on the level of, like, talking to
34:10
people and making friends. Yeah. You got the awkwardness out. Yeah. It wasn't
34:14
just about games. Like, the meetup was kinda just about games, but then when they
34:18
invited me to the other person's house to play, it was more just like about
34:21
Yeah. Friends getting together. And then, you know, you start
34:25
just making friends. It just kinda comes naturally if you can put yourself in the
34:28
right place. So, we do have a 3rd
34:32
episode coming up, and we're going to talk a bit a little bit about you're
34:35
going to meet Lola. What can what what got you in her group?
34:39
Because she has a good group. It's, it's a mom's group. And,
34:43
sometimes joining groups on Facebook is a good way to help you get out there
34:46
to your, again, finding like minded people. No. Joining a mom's group is
34:50
just trying to find, like, other people that you can get advice from
34:54
or Okay. Just kinda run things by, see other mom's
34:58
humor and something that that you may be struggling in and find some humor
35:02
in and giggle over that over Yeah. Social media. But,
35:07
I don't know. I only have so Courtney and I have known each other since
35:10
high school. So we've been friends for, like, what is that? Like,
35:14
10 years, 12 years, 12 years? Been on friends for a long
35:17
time and we're still pretty close knit with a lot of the girls that we
35:21
were in ROTC with. We still get together all the time. All of us were
35:25
in Courtney's wedding, like and we're about to be in another one of their weddings
35:29
actually this year. But, like, just
35:32
making new friends, like, we don't live close. So for any of us to get
35:36
together, like, it's gotta be a plan. It's gotta be well thought out.
35:40
And so now I live out in the sticks and gotta make friends
35:43
somehow. And I just I'm very socially awkward. I don't
35:47
enjoy going out. I especially don't enjoy going out by myself. I get really stressed
35:51
and I just it's not for me. And I'm noticing I'm in
35:55
this this women of Alana's group and
35:59
it actually it's interesting to me that
36:02
people who live in the city in my mind are people who are social anyways
36:06
and like to get out anyways. And people who
36:09
live out where I live, they typically are the people who are more kept to
36:13
themselves, but they still have their close knit friends. But people who live in the
36:16
city that are in this group are all the time posting
36:20
about, I don't have any friends. I'd like to meet new people. I'd like to
36:23
meet new friends. And they're posting like dating ad descriptions of
36:27
themselves saying, looking for a friend who's x y z. I'm this
36:31
age. I enjoy doing this. Crusty. Yeah. I have a dog that's this age.
36:35
Connection stuff in the newspaper. Yeah. I mean, people are doing this
36:39
in the groups, like trying to find new friends. And I just find it really
36:41
interesting that everyone seems to struggle. I mean, I
36:45
say everyone, but not everyone. But a lot of us do struggle. I think
36:48
it's more prevalent than we might realize when you think about it. Well,
36:52
like, you think you're the only one in it. Right? Yeah. And it's probably a
36:55
lot more prevalent than we realize. I guess because I see it a lot. I
36:58
just kind of assume that that was that was everyone's normal, like hard to make
37:01
friends, but I'm also just significantly less social than
37:05
than people I do hang out with. But then I was reading
37:09
like so I got really curious about, like, I struggle with this. So many people
37:13
are struggling with it. You know, there's even dating
37:16
apps that have a side app for finding friends. Like,
37:20
there's like a friend bubble, Bumble. That's cool. Yeah. So it's really
37:23
interesting. So I started reading about, like, man, it's hard
37:27
making friends in thirties. Why would this be? And
37:31
so I found this article and it's talking about how, you know, like, when you're
37:34
in your high school and your college years, you're around a
37:38
constantly revolving door of people. Mhmm. People moving
37:42
in, moving out. You're seeing these new people every single
37:45
day, and socializing is what is what you're doing.
37:49
Interesting. You're, you know, going to school together and, you
37:52
know, talking and, you know, most people go to work and they have jobs and
37:55
they're doing the same thing. They're going, they're meeting friends and they're they're socializing a
37:59
little bit here and there. But now we're adults and at the end of the
38:02
day, we're just too exhausted. Yeah. Usually, your work friends stay your work friends.
38:06
You don't really go out with them. Like, you you wanna go home to your
38:08
families. You wanna go home to your dogs. You wanna unwind
38:12
before you have to do it all again. And so now there's, like, this added
38:15
exhaustion and just lack of desire. And on top of that,
38:19
there's a sky rise in anxiety these days and social
38:22
anxiety and that and that's really holding us back because I'm sure we can all
38:26
come up with a a story or have a story where we were
38:29
embarrassed in a social group or where, you know,
38:34
it just sometimes doesn't feel worth worth it putting yourself out there.
38:39
Yeah. It can sometimes feel like, why did I
38:42
even try? Yes. I yes.
38:46
I there are there are girls who, like, who want to make friends and
38:50
genuinely wanna make friends. And so then they, like, go and they meet someone
38:54
online or they meet someone at work, and they're like, okay. We're driving. We're driving.
38:57
Alright. I'm gonna start trusting them. And then, like, they start sharing their
39:01
close knit things with them. And then that's interesting. Bring that up. Them in the
39:05
back. Percent that happened. Courtney talking about this. Like, yes.
39:09
To me too. It's very
39:12
strange. Now granted, both of the people that I
39:16
fill in my in my memory when I say that happened to me, they have
39:19
since reached out and either apologize actually, there's Oh my god.
39:23
They have since reached out and apologized and Dude, that's like
39:27
unheard of. Yeah. I don't know. I guess I
39:30
am lucky. Here's the thing. It's really
39:34
easy to either just trust and give everything you
39:37
have to something or maybe hold back everything. And it's
39:41
like, where's that happy medium where you can be like, hey, I'm gonna give just
39:45
enough that I can foster a friendship without actually giving
39:48
enough to if it doesn't work out where I feel
39:52
like just crushed and ruined. Right? Yeah. So I think
39:56
sometimes just remembering look at things
39:59
objectively because I sometimes have this thing where I just
40:03
trust. I wanted to trust people. I'm not so much that way anymore. Over the
40:06
years, I feel like I've kind of learned how to start just saying,
40:11
let's just not share at all. Let's just, you know, let's just see see how
40:15
it goes. Yeah. I don't know. And I don't mean to say that we should
40:18
all hold ourselves back. I I want to create like, I want us to
40:22
create a community where we don't have to do that. And I hope that that
40:25
it works. I hope that too. You know, that people want
40:30
to share their struggles. And the point is that there's
40:33
someone else in that in our group that's also been through the same thing or
40:37
similar thing and can relate. Be judged for mistakes because we're not
40:41
perfect. But, yeah,
40:45
I do think that I did go through a lot of
40:49
friends in my twenties that aren't necessarily in my life
40:52
today. Now, actually, I have a couple. Connie Emmett, love you.
40:58
Name drop. I can't help it. I just love some of these people so much,
41:02
and I don't talk to them every day, but they play
41:06
significant roles in my life, and I will never forget them for some of
41:09
the things that they were there for me through. But I guess what I'm
41:13
saying is back to my twenties, I did go through a lot of friends that
41:17
I think I just thought, oh, immediately we're going to be
41:21
friends forever. And it's not always like that. Sometimes people oh, sometimes
41:25
people in your life just for a season. Mhmm. I heard that recently.
41:30
Sometimes you're not meant to be friends with someone forever. That. Exactly.
41:36
Yeah. I feel like you attract. Like, you must attract because, like, you're such
41:39
a positive, like, bright person
41:43
and personality and help everyone that, like, you must attract these people that also
41:47
have these dot like, deep,
41:50
confined meaning, like Aw. What what is the word I'm trying to
41:55
you. So I look at you. I think that was technically our husbands. Like,
41:59
I don't know how to live. We went our paths wouldn't
42:02
have crossed True. If our husbands wouldn't have gotten
42:07
or if our husbands wouldn't have gotten married. Sometimes
42:11
I wonder if they should have been the ones. No. Just kidding. They do have
42:13
a pretty nice bromance
42:26
fostering a friendship. Right? Yeah. Like and I don't do that with everybody. I feel
42:29
like I don't have the time, and sometimes I feel like this is gonna sound
42:32
a little mean, but it's not meant to be. Sometimes I feel like I'm so
42:35
tired. I don't want any more friends.
42:40
So the fact that we are fostering a relationship is big. Like, yes, you're right.
42:44
I I am very selective about who I wanna keep in my life because I
42:46
have had some situations in the past where Yeah. Those are off. We've all I
42:50
think may maybe we've all had those. I don't know. I
42:53
guess I am kind of introspective, so maybe I've overanalyzed my life.
42:59
As we all do at some point in different aspects, but
43:04
I don't know. That's a very different I don't know. We had opposite,
43:08
experiences, I feel like. Yeah. For sure. For sure. So it's nice
43:11
to hear, the side where you
43:15
get to be selective and you get to to the point where
43:19
it's like, okay. People don't like me so much. Just go wait.
43:22
This sounded so bad. I didn't mean it like that, but just
43:26
go wait. I mean, I'm like that too, Even though, like, you know, sometimes
43:30
I'll be sitting at home by myself. I'm like, it might be nice to go
43:33
have coffee with someone. Like, I'm tired of sitting here. It's been 7 days. But
43:37
this not my last friend that I let into my life, but one of
43:40
my very close friends. Her name is Pyle. She
43:44
had to fight to be
43:48
I'm not lying. I and it's not because I'm amazing. It's not what I
43:52
mean either. It's because I was closed off, and I really thought I
43:55
just didn't have the emotional energy to have a friend. That's fair.
43:59
Life. Yeah. You should be able to feel like that.
44:03
Yeah. And she was like, we will hang out, and we will. And so I'm
44:07
like, fine. And so we hung out, and then I even was like I even
44:09
tried to kinda break up with her. I was like, I think you're too young
44:11
for me. She's gonna die laughing when she hears
44:15
this. You did not. I, for real, did. Oh my god. It's not you.
44:19
It's me. You're too young for me, bra. And then she said, how
44:23
old do you fucking think I am? And I was like, I think you're, like,
44:25
23. And she was, like, 29 or 30. I don't remember. But,
44:29
I was like, okay. I can't use that. No. Just
44:33
kidding. The truth is, like, once I let her in and
44:36
sometimes, yeah, we think we can step back and be selective, and I think that's
44:40
a good thing. But sometimes it's also good to remember, we don't always know what's
44:43
best for ourselves. Nice. And she has been amazing in my
44:47
life. Aw. Yeah. I'm so glad that she persisted,
44:52
My dumbass. You pushed me to hang out
44:56
with you. Did I? And not because I didn't want to. It's just because I'm,
44:59
like, Tell me when? I don't know. She's not gonna like me.
45:03
I think I felt like you wouldn't like me because you're young
45:07
and cool and gorgeous and hip and I'm gonna shut up.
45:11
Y'all came over for a dinner date because we haven't seen each other in
45:15
probably a year at that point. It'd been a while. Yeah. No. Like, we used
45:18
to not see each other that often. And And remember Simon and Brett are best
45:21
friends. Are best friends even though Brett will silent him for a while. He
45:25
will silent me if he has the chance. And so
45:29
Simon goes, no. Brett is coming over and I'm gonna try to like
45:32
Melissa and we're having dinner. He said I'm gonna
45:36
try. Okay. He probably didn't say that to me. By then. He probably did.
45:40
Oh, yeah. You did come to our wedding. So, you know, bridges have been crossed
45:44
at that point. So I remember I was getting, like, really down because I'm a
45:47
stay at home mom and it just didn't feel like it was for me and
45:50
postpartum depression. And and I was like, Melissa said she wanted to meet the
45:54
baby. And I was like and she said she wanted to get
45:57
together sometime. So I didn't think you would call
46:01
me. And so then I was like, okay. Well, I'll I'll see if
46:04
Melissa wants to get together. You put yourself out there. I did. I did. And
46:07
it was very awkward for me, and I might have cried the night before. I
46:10
was like, Simon, what if she doesn't like me? Like, what if she doesn't show
46:13
up? What if I get, what's it called? When someone doesn't show up to a
46:16
blind date? Stood up. Stood up. That happened
46:20
to me before. Oh, no. Oh. By, like, a man or by a friend? Man.
46:24
Oh, I was 17. Oh, okay.
46:27
Okay. If we're going back that far, I sure have too. By the same man
46:30
twice. Okay. It's it's true. Sometimes we don't know what we
46:34
need, like my me with pile. Oh, I know what I need. I just Okay.
46:38
Were we just Not willing to do. Against it? Okay. Okay.
46:41
Fair enough. Oh, man. Well, I mean, I
46:45
guess so that I mean, in my case, it doesn't
46:49
help my case because, obviously, I'm just not quite willing to do the work, though
46:52
I'm at that point. I am at the point where it's it's really just you
46:56
and Courtney. I and this is where the seizures have really been frustrating
46:59
because I'm at this point where it's like, I want to go out and do
47:03
hobbies and meet friends and and see where it goes.
47:07
And now I can't take myself anywhere and make those friends. But when I
47:11
was doing, you know, my handy dandy Google searches, it was suggesting that ways
47:15
to make friends when, you know, after school and when you're in your
47:18
thirties and you find that you're ready for a new
47:22
cycle of friends, then, like, you know, here's some things that you can do to
47:25
meet them. And, of course, we talked about the apps. We talked about the social
47:28
media groups and stuff. But like Melissa said, it also suggested
47:32
finding a hobby, getting into that. My, favorite one that I was really
47:36
laughing at was go and meet your neighbors. Oh, interesting. Like, am I gonna
47:40
ask for a cup of sugar? Oh my god.
47:43
Like, I don't You know, I feel like we don't know our neighbors anymore. I
47:47
don't know. I thought that, you know, I thought that I would have all the
47:50
friends in this neighborhood when we first moved here. I was like, oh, I might
47:53
actually, like, have some mom friends in the neighborhood, and we can, like, have wine
47:56
nights and stuff. And it might be really fun, and then they I don't think
47:58
they like me. I feel like that one's a little tricky because you're not curating
48:02
your own group. You're just kind of, like, sticking with what's not around you.
48:06
But you never know. Oh, it's a whole new guy. We host it out
48:09
of our own money in pocket. A whole neighborhood get together and had, like, blow
48:13
ups for the kids so that, like, the families could come over. Like, we provided
48:16
food. We had we paid for, like, a blow up slide and pool and,
48:20
not not too many people came over. We we did enjoy everyone who did come
48:24
over for the meet and greet and, everyone who brought their kids and,
48:27
yeah, no one really kept up. And I mean, the kids play with
48:31
our closest tried. We did try. I did try.
48:34
And then our closest neighbor has kids that are the same exact age as all
48:38
of our kids. And I had high hopes that that would be my
48:42
wine buddy too, but,
48:46
no, not there yet. Do you think you want to keep
48:49
pursuing that one? I think they don't like me. Oh, but wait. You
48:53
thought that I I know. I I yes. I think our lifestyles
48:57
are vastly different. I'm gonna give a challenge for the week. No.
49:00
Okay. She said no. I was gonna be like, invite her over
49:04
for a glass one. Go out of your comfort zone. I don't know.
49:10
Well, we're telling you what you can do. I got a fun story on why
49:14
I'm saying no. Okay. To oh, are you allowed to share it? Yes. Just know
49:17
it. It was it was like a big fail. It was like a big parenting
49:20
fail that, like, I was so upset and cried, like, for hours over because
49:24
I'm so upset. So thing 3 hadn't napped
49:29
at all that day. And so it's getting to the late late evening and then
49:32
she just crashes and, like, fell asleep on on Simon's
49:35
chest, you know, fully dressed, shoes and everything. And we, like, pick
49:39
her up because we're like, oh, we should probably wake her, but she stays asleep.
49:42
And we're, like, oh, man. This is an opportunity. We can get some quiet time.
49:46
So the older thing 1 and thing 2 are at the
49:50
neighbor's house playing, And so we just quietly go and we lay
49:54
thing 3 in her bed, and then we tiptoe on over to the hot
49:58
tub. We have not left the house. Thing 2 comes home from the neighbors
50:01
and apparently, thing 3 had woken up. And so
50:05
when thing 2 comes home, she hears thing 3 crying,
50:09
and they're very tight. They are very close. And
50:12
she she doesn't look for us. She doesn't look anywhere for us.
50:16
She comes in the house Maybe or you she didn't even look in the house
50:19
because you're in the hot tub? She was in the house, and I remember I
50:22
had my I had my German shepherd, Ada, with me outside while we were in
50:25
the hot tub. And I remember she, she told
50:29
me that someone was home in the house since I I looked at Simon.
50:32
I said, oh, thing 3 is home. And then I'm waiting and I'm
50:36
waiting and I'm waiting, and she never comes out. And so then I start
50:40
getting antsy, and I'm like, Simon, can you check your phone, please?
50:44
And he goes, okay. And I grab his phone. I give it to him, and
50:47
there's, like, missed missed text, missed calls from the neighbor. Thing
50:51
2 thought that we left the house
50:55
without the baby, took the baby out of her
50:59
crib, and took her to the neighbor's house and said that we left them.
51:02
Oh, no. And so and so I was
51:06
so embarrassed. And this happened not once, twice.
51:10
Not twice with the baby though, but twice she
51:14
went over to their house crying, coming back to their house saying that we left
51:17
them. And the second time was just because the garage door was shut. She didn't
51:21
even come in the house that time. Oh, no. But it's I was so
51:25
embarrassed. Okay. I was like, no. Your neighbor know
51:28
how upset it made you and how embarrassed? Well, one
51:32
time she did come over, because there is, like, an incident with the
51:36
neighborhood and, utilities being crossed and stuff.
51:40
And she came over to ask a question. I was like, okay. Real awkward, but
51:43
you are aware we never leave the house without our child. And she goes, yes.
51:46
I figured. And I was like, okay. Okay. Okay.
51:50
Just making sure. Okay. Well,
51:54
my takeaway is you are completely entitled to not want
51:58
her to be your wine buddy anymore. No. But I feel like if you
52:01
did want to offered, I would for sure do it. I feel like
52:05
maybe you're projecting a little on how much she doesn't like you. Maybe she
52:09
does. Okay. But maybe you're projecting.
52:14
I'm projecting. I think she could be projecting just a little, but
52:17
I might be wrong. Maybe she hates you. That's what I
52:21
thought. Oh, that's what I thought. I guess
52:25
I'm just saying, sometimes we get in our head. Is that
52:29
a sign? Yeah. I told
52:32
you. That's also why I won't go over and ask for a question. Times. No.
52:36
It might actually just be a sign that you don't want to be her friend.
52:39
Not to be mean, but growing up, my parents had a lot of restrictions about
52:43
who we were and weren't allowed to play with. But it's because my parents
52:47
were a little too extra. Too strict. Mhmm. Yeah. I
52:51
mean, but in this day and time, though, you do have to be very worrisome
52:54
about you don't really know the parents that your kids are going out to play
52:58
with. You really don't. She could easily get to know you. You're her next door
53:01
neighbor. That is true. In conclusion, are we concluding
53:04
yet? If you are struggling Yeah. To make friends,
53:09
there are ways to do it, and you should you should go
53:12
and join a hobby. I really wanna join a hobby. I wanna go to a
53:15
paint class and I wanna learn different mediums of art. That would be a lot
53:19
of fun. I wanna do dancing. I wanna go to dance classes. Maybe I used
53:23
to love line dancing. Going to line dancing again would be really fun,
53:26
and that's a really fun way to meet friends. Yeah. Yeah.
53:30
So leave comments. Tell us tell
53:34
us kind of your experiences. What are you guys going through? Are you are you
53:37
feel like your friend meter is full? Are you feeling like you wanna meet
53:41
more people, but you don't know how to great. Word it. Is your friend
53:45
meter full, or is it running low? Thank you. It's like a love
53:48
tank. Oh, I like that too. That's really cool.
53:52
So, yeah, just, like, because I really do want this. Like, I
53:56
we say it every episode, but I'm very serious. This is a
53:59
community that we're trying to build of nonjudgment and love
54:03
and support. And maybe, you can be our
54:07
friend. That if you want to be, we would love
54:10
it. But, also, maybe, like, you'll meet somebody in our little community. You can be
54:14
my friend because Melissa's meter is full. My meter is really full.
54:19
I'll be your friend. It would make me feel
54:22
good like we did something today. It would make me feel very happy. See you
54:26
guys on social media talking to each other and
54:29
Yes. Maybe even, like, getting together. Being vulnerable and Yeah.
54:33
People being kind in return. That it takes nothing to be kind.
54:37
Nothing. Nothing. And so,
54:41
next time on our next show, we will be having, Lola,
54:45
and she is the creator of a group called Not Your Momma's Group.
54:48
And she has cultivated this group for
54:51
moms where there is a no tolerance policy for
54:55
rudeness. Won't you get blocked if you are
54:59
rude to somebody who post a question like that? Yes. That's what I want.
55:03
Anything nice to say. You're a lot of post controversial things, but Yes. Yes. Did
55:06
I say that wrong? Yeah. Oh, yes. Oh, I I had another thought,
55:10
but I wanted to add it in somewhere. I want it. I think that
55:13
if y'all are interested, I think that if if there's enough of
55:17
us that are local, I think we could have our own hangout. Oh, that's such
55:21
a good idea. We could. Brunch. A brunch link up. Brunch
55:25
up? A brunch up. We just made up a new
55:28
thing. A brunch up, girls. Yes. I
55:32
think join our page, like our page. Let's see if
55:36
there's a bunch of us that are local, and let's have a brunch up. That'd
55:38
be fun. Well, join us next time to meet
55:42
Lola, and, we will continue to post for your Monday
55:46
mornings at 5 AM, and we look forward to meeting you. We do.
55:50
Join us again next time. Peace for peace and love. Peace
55:54
and love. Okay. Connect with us
55:58
on Facebook or Instagram to stay up to date on future episodes.