Latest / Parent's Talk with Francine Juhlin / EPISODE 10: Your Parenting is Missing This - 5 Love Languages That Build Unbreakable Kids

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EPISODE 10: Your Parenting is Missing This - 5 Love Languages That Build Unbreakable Kids · Parent's Talk with Francine Juhlin

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  Speaker 1: Hello, Francine Junin here with parents Top and I'm also
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  Speaker 1: the founder of the Confidence Club for Kids, and we're
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  Speaker 1: here to give parents some tips on how they.
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  Speaker 2: Could help raise confident kids.
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  Speaker 1: And I met my new friend here in a networking
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  Speaker 1: group and I want to introduce him to you because
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  Speaker 1: he's got some amazing stuff at a really cool book
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  Speaker 1: to share with you. His name is Bruce and he's
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  Speaker 1: also known as the Logical Intuitive and he's an expert
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  Speaker 1: in the areas of mindset, wellness, communication, and AI integration.
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  Speaker 1: And with the background in computer programming, Bruce owned his
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  Speaker 1: logical a skill complimented by a personal health journey.
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  Speaker 2: I can't wait to hear about that. And this cultivated
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  Speaker 2: his intuition.
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  Speaker 1: Now, this fusion of logic and intuition forms the cornerstone
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  Speaker 1: of his unique framework. He is the founder and owner
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  Speaker 1: of Actualize Your Full Potential, LLC. He's also a best
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  Speaker 1: selling author and the author of the upcoming self help
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  Speaker 1: novel Mindset Reset How to Exerualize Your Full Potential. Wow,
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  Speaker 1: that's a mouthful there, and I am so interested in
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  Speaker 1: hearing more so, Bruce, will you tell us who are
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  Speaker 1: you and why did you do what you do.
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  Speaker 3: Oh hi, fancying nice to be here. Yeah, I'm I've
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  Speaker 3: got a lot of different pots on the cattle on
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  Speaker 3: the stove here and stuff, different.
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  Speaker 4: Things, and it's sometimes it's almost like one of those
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  Speaker 4: those little shows where they got the person with the
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  Speaker 4: sticks and spinning the plates on top of them, trying
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  Speaker 4: to keep them all spinning that.
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  Speaker 3: So, but yeah, I spent almost thirty seven years as
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  Speaker 3: a computer programmer web developer, and so that really that
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  Speaker 3: logical thinking way that really got my logical brain going,
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  Speaker 3: and that just before I got into computer programming as
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  Speaker 3: a teenager, I started developing serious health issues and numerous surgeries,
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  Speaker 3: near death experiences and everything that went on for many years.
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  Speaker 3: And early on it was I just figured it was
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  Speaker 3: like normal, you know, the kid daydreams. They're seeing, you know,
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  Speaker 3: thinking about what they're going to do in the future.
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  Speaker 3: So but when I started getting sick, I couldn't do that.
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  Speaker 3: When I would try to visualize myself doing something in
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  Speaker 3: the future, I would get like a blank movie screen.
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  Speaker 3: I couldn't see myself past high school. And that kind
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  Speaker 3: of concerned me that any rate, I wound up having
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  Speaker 3: major surgery, which afterwards I had a voice in my
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  Speaker 3: head that said no, not yet, You're not through here,
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  Speaker 3: and I was able to visualize myself doing stuff in
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  Speaker 3: the future again. So anyway, I started paying attention to
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  Speaker 3: those little whispers and over the years, more surgeries and everything,
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  Speaker 3: and with each major surgery there was another little message
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  Speaker 3: and like help others, and I'm thinking, okay, could you
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  Speaker 3: be more vague, give me a little more direction near
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  Speaker 3: and then other there was another one then that was
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  Speaker 3: help help the kids, and another follow on surgery. It
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  Speaker 3: was like shouting at me, help the kids. And this
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  Speaker 3: came out of almost a year long stay in the
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  Speaker 3: hospital with numerous surgeries and coma and everything. And when
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  Speaker 3: I came out of that coma, it I found my
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  Speaker 3: intuition and really heightened so later on getting involved with
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  Speaker 3: some of the different youth groups and that. So it
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  Speaker 3: just has been kind of a dear thing to me
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  Speaker 3: to be able to find ways, especially helping the kids
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  Speaker 3: and the youth and that. And so that that's kind
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  Speaker 3: of a nutshell about where, what what happened to me
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  Speaker 3: and where how I got here? Said, I wound up
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  Speaker 3: getting taking advantage of early retirement offering and started doing
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  Speaker 3: my own thing and doing some of my coaching. I
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  Speaker 3: realized about a little over a year ago that my
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  Speaker 3: style of coaching I was combining logic and intuition. So
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  Speaker 3: that's where the logical intuitive comes in, infusing that logic
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  Speaker 3: and intuition. Just a real quick story on regarding what
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  Speaker 3: we're going to talk about today on the love languages.
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  Speaker 3: I wasn't, of course. I was maybe like twelve years
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  Speaker 3: old with the parents visiting our relatives back in Wisconsin,
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  Speaker 3: and my parents weren't big huggers. But we went to
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  Speaker 3: visit some cousins and they're kind of like my second
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  Speaker 3: parents back there, and they had a large family, a
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  Speaker 3: lot of kids. So I went upstairs to see their kids,
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  Speaker 3: and you know, I'm greeted with lots of hugs, and
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  Speaker 3: I'm just like, okay, what's going on, you know, And
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  Speaker 3: after about the third hug, and It's like, hmmm, I
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  Speaker 3: really like this. This is nice. And so when we
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  Speaker 3: got back home, I informed my mom that hey, we're
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  Speaker 3: going to start doing some more hugging, and so prepare yourself.
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  Speaker 2: I like that you informed your mom.
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  Speaker 3: And she just initially she was just really stiff. She
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  Speaker 3: was because she wasn't used to that. That gradually she
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  Speaker 3: started relaxing, and that so at any rate. So then
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  Speaker 3: as an adult, I don't even sure how old I
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  Speaker 3: was when I discovered the book The Five Love Languages
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  Speaker 3: and reading through them, I realized why I loved hugs
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  Speaker 3: because I discovered what my primary love language was. So
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  Speaker 3: that's that's kind of how I stumbled across the five
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  Speaker 3: Love languages. But for those that may not be familiar
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  Speaker 3: with it, doctor Gary Chapman is he's the one that
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  Speaker 3: wrote several books on the five love languages that he
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  Speaker 3: defines them as words of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time,
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  Speaker 3: acts of service, and physical touch which includes hugs.
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  Speaker 1: Tell us why parents should want to know more about
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  Speaker 1: these love languages.
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  Speaker 3: Well, it really is important to understand the parents each
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  Speaker 3: spouse instaid what their love language is, but also what
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  Speaker 3: your children's love languages are, because it's it's like it
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  Speaker 3: really is another language.
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  Speaker 2: And.
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  Speaker 3: If you're not speaking quote unquote speaking the proper love language,
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  Speaker 3: that other person is not going to actually feel loved.
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  Speaker 3: You know. Example of each of them words of affirmation,
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  Speaker 3: for instance, that's expressing love through verbal encouragement, compliments, kind words,
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  Speaker 3: and then receiving gifts. That's where getting a really thoughtful
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  Speaker 3: gift is really important to that person. Quality time is
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  Speaker 3: another one. That's that's kind of my secondary language, suspending
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  Speaker 3: quality meaningful you know, focused time with that person. Another
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  Speaker 3: one is acts of service, actually doing something for that
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  Speaker 3: person without being asked to do it, you know, just
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  Speaker 3: doing something that you know that's has some importance to them.
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  Speaker 3: And then the physical touch, now that's that's appropriate touch.
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  Speaker 3: It's like hugs, holding hands, you know, snuggles, and that's
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  Speaker 3: is and those things. So an example is the for
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  Speaker 3: a spouse and stuff uses she said that, oh, you
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  Speaker 3: don't love me, and it's like, what do you mean,
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  Speaker 3: I tell you I love you every day? Well, that
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  Speaker 3: would fall into the words of affirmation. Well, that's by
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  Speaker 3: her saying that that is not her primary love language,
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  Speaker 3: so she doesn't feel loved. And it's the same thing
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  Speaker 3: with the children. If you're giving them encouragement and everything,
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  Speaker 3: that's all well and good and you should, but that's
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  Speaker 3: not there may not be their primary love life language.
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  Speaker 3: So by finding out that maybe that person's primary love
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  Speaker 3: language where they really feel loved is quality time, spending
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  Speaker 3: one on one uninterrupted time, not sitting there on your
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  Speaker 3: phone with them, actually focused on the child that is,
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  Speaker 3: you know, maybe that's their their primary love language. So
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  Speaker 3: by identifying each child's love language and identifying you know,
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  Speaker 3: what you can do to really make them feel loved
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  Speaker 3: is critical. It is for me, I always felt loved
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  Speaker 3: when I was growing up, and uh didn't realize because
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  Speaker 3: like my like I mentioned, my secondary love language is
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  Speaker 3: quality time. Everybody has a primary and a secondary love language,
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  Speaker 3: and so I was always spending quality time with my parents,
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  Speaker 3: you know, one on one and as you know, both
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  Speaker 3: of them to get so when I always loved having
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  Speaker 3: my little my back, your little backscratches and rubs and everything,
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  Speaker 3: which that's the physical touch. But later on in years
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  Speaker 3: when I realized, okay, my primary love language is physical touch,
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  Speaker 3: hugs and snuggles and everything. So is that you know,
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  Speaker 3: a child actually feeling loved is critical to their development.
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  Speaker 2: You just you just hit a nerve.
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  Speaker 1: There a child feeling loved and if you are loving
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  Speaker 1: them with a language they don't understand, they're not going
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  Speaker 1: to feel it. So how can a parent assess what
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  Speaker 1: their child's love languages are?
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  Speaker 3: Well, they're I've got an actually a free gift that
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  Speaker 3: I you know, offer stuff. It's a little uh quick
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  Speaker 3: reference guide to kind of overview the love languages and
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  Speaker 3: how the parents as well as the kids can assess
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  Speaker 3: their their love language. And it's got a link also
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  Speaker 3: to additional resources including you know, official five love language
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  Speaker 3: website has a lot of quizes that you can go
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  Speaker 3: through as an adult and as teenagers and for younger kids.
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  Speaker 3: Of course, the kids aren't necessarily going to be taking
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  Speaker 3: the quiz, but the parent can facilitate the quiz and
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  Speaker 3: it's you know, child or age specifically appropriate and stuff
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  Speaker 3: like I've got a dear friend of mine that each
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  Speaker 3: one of her kids had a different love language.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, that has to make life difficult.
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  Speaker 3: Well, no, actually it actually is, isn't. It isn't as
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  Speaker 3: long as you identify which is like, because what the
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  Speaker 3: child does or says to you at different times will
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  Speaker 3: give you huge clues as to what their language primary
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  Speaker 3: love language is like. Whenever she would my friend would
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  Speaker 3: return from a trip, one of them would always say,
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  Speaker 3: what did you bring me? That immediately says receiving gifts.
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  Speaker 3: Is that for that child's primary love language. The other
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  Speaker 3: one was always just had to be around her, clinging
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  Speaker 3: on her, and and that so that was quality time
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  Speaker 3: and the other the other one was just always hugging
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  Speaker 3: and stuff, and so that was the physical touch aspect
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  Speaker 3: and that. So yeah, so there there's different things that
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  Speaker 3: your child is already saying and doing that are giving
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  Speaker 3: you clues. Just have to be aware of them and
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  Speaker 3: can pay attention to it.
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  Speaker 2: Ah attention. Yes, I have a newsletter.
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  Speaker 1: I'd like to invite everybody to join my newsletter because
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: the first activity that I'm going to send you is
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  Speaker 1: a worksheet and it's it's going to be.
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  Speaker 2: Fun for you and your kid to interact.
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  Speaker 1: Together and design who what they would be if they
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: were a superhero?
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: Do they have a cake? Do they fly? Do they
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: have you know? Are they can they turn invisible?
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: This is a great way to connect and learn more
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: about what's important to your child. And if you sign
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: up for this newsletter, you'll also get Bruce's assessments that
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  Speaker 1: you could do with your kids and really dig in
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  Speaker 1: deeply and learn how to speak your child's love language.
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  Speaker 1: I just can't imagine how parents in the past, before
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  Speaker 1: these love languages were discovered, how they.
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  Speaker 2: Raised their kids or well.
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  Speaker 1: Maybe that's why we as you know, fifty years ago,
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  Speaker 1: they didn't know this maybe that's why we're trying to
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  Speaker 1: fix ourselves today as parents.
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  Speaker 3: His self health industry.
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  Speaker 1: Is exactly so parents take advantage of the opportunity to
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  Speaker 1: learn and discover how you can prevent your child of.
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  Speaker 2: Needing to be fixed in.
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  Speaker 1: The future like my Ja and MYA and Bruce's generation
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  Speaker 1: and had to do. You can break the cycle and
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  Speaker 1: raise a strong, confident kid today that doesn't have.
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  Speaker 2: To be fixed tomorrow.
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  Speaker 1: Bruce, please tell everybody how they can find out more
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  Speaker 1: about you, how they can contact you and your socials
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  Speaker 1: and you know all that good stuff that we will
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  Speaker 1: drop in the chat.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, the big thing is my website is Actualize
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  Speaker 3: your Full Potential dot com. It's got a lot of
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  Speaker 3: resources on there and be able to you know, book
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  Speaker 3: an appointment. You know, you can just have a chat
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  Speaker 3: and see how might be able to help you on
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  Speaker 3: different different areas. As well as my LinkedIn profile is
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  Speaker 3: you know, we'll have that in here. So yeah, I'm
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  Speaker 3: on on LinkedIn as Bruce Jbarnes. So those are kind
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  Speaker 3: of the two best ways of getting a hold of me,
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  Speaker 3: and that as well as if you do go to
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  Speaker 3: the Logicalintuitive dot com that forwards to my actualized full
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  Speaker 3: Potential website. So yeah, so it there's a lot of
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  Speaker 3: great resources. But it just one other quick little story
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  Speaker 3: that was about thirty, oh gosh, thirty some years ago.
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  Speaker 3: I was visiting some other cousins and and well there's
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  Speaker 3: quite an age difference between us. So they were in
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  Speaker 3: the living room visiting with my parents and I was
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  Speaker 3: They had two toddlers and I was playing with them
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  Speaker 3: on the floor and We're having a blast. I've always
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  Speaker 3: loved being around kids and that. So after we left,
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  Speaker 3: my cousin asked the kids like, oh, did you have
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  Speaker 3: fun with Bruce says, yeah, we really liked that, so
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  Speaker 3: oh what did you like most? He got down on
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  Speaker 3: the floor and played with us, And my cousin told
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  Speaker 3: me afterwards that was like a major eye opener for
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  Speaker 3: her because she would always say go in the other
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  Speaker 3: room and play. She wasn't actually spending one on one time.
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  Speaker 3: So that relating to five love languages, that meant the
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  Speaker 3: kid's primary love language was quality time. So those little
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  Speaker 3: things that the kids say, those are going to give
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  Speaker 3: you clues.
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  Speaker 1: That was an amazing story, and it's good that you
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  Speaker 1: showed up so she would learn that before the kids
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  Speaker 1: went out looking later in life to fill that gap.
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  Speaker 2: In all the wrong places.
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  Speaker 1: That old song looking for Love in all the Wrong places. Well,
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  Speaker 1: thank you so much. I really enjoyed our talk today. Everybody,
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  Speaker 1: please sign up for the newsletter so you could get
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: these assessments and learn how to tap into your children's
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  Speaker 1: love languages today so somebody doesn't have to fix them tomorrow.
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  Speaker 3: We all want to feel loved, so that's it.
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  Speaker 2: Show the love.
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  Speaker 1: Oh and by the way, you could show the love
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  Speaker 1: here too. Like this video, Share this video, and definitely
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: subscribe to the channel. Fancy Julie with Bruce signing out,
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  Speaker 1: Bye bye,