Latest / Play Therapy Podcast: A Master-Class in Child-Centered Play Therapy / 439 | The Floor Belongs to the Child — Wait Until You're Invited to Sit on the Floor

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439 | The Floor Belongs to the Child — Wait Until You're Invited to Sit on the Floor · Play Therapy Podcast: A Master-Class in Child-Centered Play Therapy

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  You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks,
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  your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.
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  Hi,
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  I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,
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  The Kid Counselor.
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  This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get
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  a master class in child-centered play therapy
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  and practical support and application for your
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  work with children and their families.
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  Today's episode,
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  we are going to talk about
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  letting a child lead.
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  And that's very broad,
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  I realize.
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  So this is specifically
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  in the vein of
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  letting the child lead.
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  When we're invited into the play and what that looks like.
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  So,
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  we'll dive into that in just a second.
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  Want to give a couple of housekeeping announcements.
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  First
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  This is your final week to register for the conference
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  in New Jersey because it is in 2 weekends.
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  So,
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  if you are interested in coming to Jersey
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  for the conference,
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  please make sure that you register by this Friday,
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  the 9th.
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  That will be the last day because we need to get a head count to the venue.
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  So,
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  if you've been trying to figure out if you can make
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  it work or if you've been thinking about it or whatever,
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  you have about 5 days left.
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  So,
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  make sure that you do that by the 9th.
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  You can do that
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  at iamccpt.live
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  And there's also a podcast meetup.
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  So,
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  please make sure that if you are not able to come to the conference,
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  but you're able to come on Sunday to the meetup that you register for that,
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  there'll be a link in the show notes for that.
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  I'm very excited.
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  That's one of my favorite things is podcast meetups.
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  So,
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  please make sure that you're able to do that.
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  Thank you for those of you who have already registered.
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  OK.
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  So,
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  let's talk about this for a second because
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  in the
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  Art of the Relationship
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  segment that says,
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  quote,
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  allow the child to lead.
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  So,
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  for those of you that want specificity,
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  I know some of you are like,
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  wait,
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  what are you talking about?
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  I'm trying to see what chapter this is.
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  Hold on just a second.
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  All right,
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  chapter 11
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  in the newest edition
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  of Art of the Relationship.
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  There is a title within that chapter,
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  Allow the Child to Lead,
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  and it goes through a whole bunch of different things.
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  But
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  here's what I know.
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  There are,
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  I would argue,
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  the majority of CCPTs that have never even read this book.
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  That's tragic in and of itself,
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  and I'll save that for another podcast.
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  But then for those of us that have read the book,
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  I think often
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  because it reads kind of like
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  storytelling,
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  kind of reads like a narrative.
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  It's hard to pick apart
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  specific things that are woven into broader context.
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  So we see we're in the segment allow the child to lead.
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  OK.
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  And so,
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  It talks about
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  how we begin each session and we sit in the same place
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  and we sit in the same place and
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  we
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  Understand that we don't label things and whatever.
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  OK,
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  so yeah,
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  we can go,
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  yep,
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  that makes sense,
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  allow the child to lead,
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  but here's a
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  Little gem
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  toward the end of this segment that I'm gonna actually read directly from the book.
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  And then we're going to process it.
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  Because this is something that we need to understand.
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  There are protocols
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  and there is framework built into CCPT.
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  And I think sometimes these are often underdiscussed
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  and over taught and therefore they're easy to miss.
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  So I'm reading from 207
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  in the book,
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  the newest edition.
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  In an attempt to communicate friendliness and a relaxed atmosphere,
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  some play therapists may sit on the floor.
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  A result is that the child is very
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  likely to interpret the therapist sitting on the floor
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  to mean the therapist expects to be invited to play.
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  And the child will dutifully do so even though he had not intended
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  to invite the therapist to play.
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  And if the therapist had not sat on the floor,
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  the child might never have asked the therapist to play.
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  Here we go,
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  y'all.
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  Put on your listening ears.
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  The floor is the child's territory.
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  And the therapist respects that
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  until the child invites the therapist to enter.
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  I'm gonna read that again because it's that important.
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  The floor is the child's territory.
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  And the therapist respects that until the child invites the therapist to enter.
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  So what does that mean for us?
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  It means that we do not sit on the floor
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  unless we're asked to.
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  And so
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  even though it's very common.
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  To walk into a playroom
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  and just sit on the floor as the therapist.
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  In fact,
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  a lot of therapists boldly proclaim,
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  oh yeah,
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  I always sit on the floor,
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  that's just where I want to be.
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  It's not CCPT.
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  To sit on the floor without being invited in.
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  That's the child's world.
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  That's the child's space.
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  That's the child's domain.
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  And once the child says,
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  come down here and
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  grab army men.
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  Come sit here and do the game with me.
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  Come here and take this puppet.
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  OK,
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  we've been invited.
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  So then we absolutely join the child on the floor,
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  but we don't start on the floor,
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  but we don't start on the floor,
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  we don't end
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  on the floor,
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  we don't end on the floor,
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  we don't immediately sit on the floor,
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  we don't assume that that's where the child wants us to be.
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  There's a carefulness to CCPT,
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  and there's thought behind every single piece of the model.
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  And the thought behind not sitting on the floor until we're invited
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  is we don't want the child to feel like they have to include us.
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  If we are truly child-centered and if the child is
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  truly able to make choices and decide exactly what happens
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  and when and how and all of those details,
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  Then we don't want to do anything that's going to
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  interfere or disrupt what the child had in mind.
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  And so the child already in their head has this thing that's
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  being conjured up subconsciously for what they're going to do,
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  and they're making decisions
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  and all of a sudden you're sitting right next to them on the floor.
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  Now all of a sudden the temptation is,
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  oh,
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  you wanna play too?
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  OK.
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  But that is not where the child was going to take it
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  unless those circumstances warranted that decision.
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  So this is why we advocate spinny rolly chairs,
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  y'all.
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  You can have a spinny rolly stool.
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  You can have a spinny rolly chair.
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  But
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  the notion of being very low to the ground,
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  because that's the beauty of a spinny rolly chair,
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  you can lower
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  the seat.
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  So you can put yourself really
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  close to the ground
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  in one of those.
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  And then you have mobility.
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  You have the ability to
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  Adhere to another tenant,
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  your toes follow your nose.
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  You just literally spin yourself every time the kid moves from one side to the other,
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  you just spin
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  or the kid
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  in
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  1.4 seconds
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  goes from one corner to the other.
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  You can just scoot
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  yourself over,
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  roll the stool a little bit closer to where the child is.
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  You have so much flexibility when you're in a spinny rolly chair,
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  but here's the beauty of it.
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  You're close to the ground,
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  but you're not on the ground.
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  And many kids will never ask you
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  to get on the floor with them.
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  For those of you that always sit on the floor,
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  you have no idea what I'm talking about,
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  and I understand that.
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  But
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  once you have a spinny rolly chair in your room,
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  you will realize that
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  many children never invite you onto the floor.
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  And you're going to realize
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  that that could be a violation.
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  That could be an interference.
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  Because
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  you don't know if the child wants to invite you in or not.
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  But when you're in the chair,
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  you 100% know if the child wants to invite you in.
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  And so,
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  we absolutely have to preserve this.
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  I mean,
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  uh,
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  in this section,
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  Landreth specifically says,
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  by the way,
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  it's in bold,
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  beginning each session
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  by sitting
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  in the same place.
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  Communicates predictability
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  and helps the child feel safe.
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  Guess what?
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  When you have a spinny rolly chair.
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  You go sit on your spinny roller chair every single time.
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  There's another adherent component
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  to this model.
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  It's predictable.
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  It's safe.
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  Now,
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  every once in a while you get a kid that runs in and takes your chair
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  because
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  they're
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  trying to play a trick or they're in power and control mode
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  or
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  they're trying to make you feel less than them.
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  OK,
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  so every once in a while you can't sit in your chair
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  because it's already been taken.
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  But that's child-centered.
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  That's the child choosing what they're going to do,
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  and you say,
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  oh ho ho,
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  you've chosen to sit there today.
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  And you
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  sit on Bobo
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  or you sit on the
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  Chair at the art station
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  or you sit somewhere else in the room because
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  the child has taken your spinny rolly chair,
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  but generally speaking,
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  that's why we have one in the room.
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  It's predictable,
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  it's safe,
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  and
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  it gives us the ability for a tall kid,
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  lift ourselves up taller,
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  so we're more on eye level.
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  Short kid,
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  lower all the way down to the ground,
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  lower eye level
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  to be consistent.
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  And then we're able to move all around the room.
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  We're able to stay totally present and engaged.
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  And when a child says,
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  hey,
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  come down here and
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  Then it's a real short little drop from the stool to the floor
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  because the child has said,
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  Hey,
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  I want you here.
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  So we need to be very,
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  I mean,
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  let's,
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  let's do a real fast um PSA here.
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  If you have not read Art of the Relationship,
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  buy it right now.
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  Pause me
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  and go buy it right now.
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  And then for those of you that had,
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  have read it,
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  you need to reread it once a year.
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  This is an annual read.
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  This is kind of like the Bible,
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  you know,
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  like every time you read something that you've read before,
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  even if you've been reading it your whole life,
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  like all of a sudden because that moment and because of who you are,
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  when you read the verse that you've read forever,
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  like it has a new meaning or you get something more out of it,
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  that's exactly what our relationship is like.
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  You read it
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  20 years ago,
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  then you read it 15 years ago,
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  then you read it 15 years ago,
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  then you read it 10 years ago,
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  then,
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  I mean,
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  ideally you're reading it every year,
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  but my point is
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  all of a sudden now,
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  You see something you didn't see or you
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  understand it differently or it has greater context or
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  you have a deeper level of understanding of why it matters.
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  You don't read through this book once
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  and just say,
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  OK,
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  I got everything I needed to get out of it.
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  It is full of treasures
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  and buried inside this section of Allow the Child to lead.
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  It's something that we don't talk about enough.
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  Don't sit on the floor unless a child invites you in.
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  It's important.
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  So
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  hopefully that encourages you.
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  Hopefully it opens your eyes.
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  If maybe you had never heard that before,
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  you had no idea that Landrith's words
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  have been very clear about that.
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  So my hope is that it will challenge you to consider
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  preserving the child's space
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  and their territory within the playroom
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  and respecting their.
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  Invitation
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  to have you be a part of their play.
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  Now,
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  I will say one final thing.
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  At the end of that segment,
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  it says,
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  following the child's lead does not eliminate participation in the play,
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  but this participation is done at the direction or invitation of the child.
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  So we're not saying we're never gonna play with a child.
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  We're never going to be involved,
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  but
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  it's at the child's direction or invitation
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  that we do so.
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  I love y'all.
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  I hope you have a great week.
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  We'll talk again soon.
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  Bye.
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  Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr.
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  Brenna Hicks.
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  For more episodes and resources,
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  please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.