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024 - Ch 24 - Mistakes Cleared Up · North and South (version 2)

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  Speaker 1: Chapter twenty four of North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell.
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  Speaker 1: This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Read by Marianne,
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  Speaker 1: chapter twenty four, Mistakes cleared up. Your beauty was the
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  Speaker 1: first that won the place, and scaled the walls of
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  Speaker 1: my undaunted heart, which captive now pines in a kitive case.
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  Speaker 1: Unkindly met with rigor for dessert. Yet not the less
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  Speaker 1: your servant shall abide in spite of rude repulse or
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  Speaker 1: silent pride, William Fowler. The next morning, Margaret dragged herself up,
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  Speaker 1: thankful that the night was over. Unrefreshed yet rested, all
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  Speaker 1: had gone well through the house. Her mother had only
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  Speaker 1: wakened once. A little breeze was stirring in the hot air,
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  Speaker 1: and though there were no trees to show the playful
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  Speaker 1: tossing movement caused by the wind among the leaves, Margaret
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  Speaker 1: knew how somewhere or another, by wayside, in copses or
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  Speaker 1: in thick green woods, there was a pleasant, murmuring, dancing sound,
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  Speaker 1: a rushing and falling noise, the very thought of which
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  Speaker 1: was an echo of distant gladness in her heart. She
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  Speaker 1: sat at her work in missus Hale's room. As soon
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  Speaker 1: as that forenoon slumber was over, she would help her
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  Speaker 1: mother to dress. After dinner, she would go and see
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  Speaker 1: Bessy Higgins. She would banish all recollection of the Thornton family,
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  Speaker 1: no need to think of them till they absolutely stood
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  Speaker 1: before her in flesh and blood. But of course the
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  Speaker 1: effort not to think of them brought them only the
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  Speaker 1: more strongly before her. And from time to time the
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  Speaker 1: hot flush came over her pale face, sweeping it into color,
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  Speaker 1: as a sunbeam from between watery clouds come swiftly moving
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  Speaker 1: over the sea. Opened the door very softly, and stole
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  Speaker 1: on tiptoe up to Margaret, sitting by the shaded window.
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  Speaker 1: Mister Thornton, Miss Margaret, he's in the drawing room. Margaret
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  Speaker 1: dropped her sewing. Did he ask for me? Isn't Papa
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  Speaker 1: come in? He asked for you, miss, And the master
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  Speaker 1: is out very well. I will come, said Margaret quietly,
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  Speaker 1: but she lingered strangely. Mister Thornton stood by one of
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  Speaker 1: the windows with his back to the door, apparently absorbed
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  Speaker 1: in watching something in the street, but in truth he
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  Speaker 1: was afraid of himself. His heart beat thick at the
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  Speaker 1: thought of her coming. He could not forget the touch
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  Speaker 1: of her arms round his neck, impatiently felt as it
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  Speaker 1: had been at the time, but now the recollection of
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  Speaker 1: her clinging defense of him seemed to thrill him through
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  Speaker 1: and through, to melt away every resolution, all power of
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  Speaker 1: self control, as if it were wax before a fire.
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  Speaker 1: He dreaded lest he should go forwards to meet her,
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  Speaker 1: with his arms held out in mute entreaty, that she
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  Speaker 1: would come and nestle there, as she had done all
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  Speaker 1: unheeded the day before, but never unheeded again. His heart
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  Speaker 1: throbbed loud and quick. Strong man as he was, he
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  Speaker 1: trembled at the anticipation of what he had to say
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  Speaker 1: and how it might be received. She might droop and
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  Speaker 1: flush and flutter to his arms, as to her natural
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  Speaker 1: home and resting place. One moment he glowed with impatience
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  Speaker 1: at the thought that she might do this. The next
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  Speaker 1: he feared a passionate rejection, the very idea of which
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  Speaker 1: withered up his future with so deadly a blight that
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  Speaker 1: he refused to think of it. He was startled by
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  Speaker 1: the sense of the presence of some one else in
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  Speaker 1: the room. He turned round. She had come in so
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  Speaker 1: so gently that he had never heard her. The street
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  Speaker 1: noises had been more distinct to his inattentive ear than
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  Speaker 1: her slow movements. In her soft muslin gown, she stood
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  Speaker 1: by the table, not offering to sit down. Her eyelids
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  Speaker 1: were dropped half over her eyes. Her teeth were shot,
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  Speaker 1: not compressed. Her lips were just parted over them, allowing
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  Speaker 1: the white line to be seen between their curve. Her slow,
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  Speaker 1: deep breathings dilated her thin and beautiful nostrils. It was
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  Speaker 1: the only motion visible on her countenance. The fine grained skin,
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  Speaker 1: the oval cheek, the rich outline of her mouth, its corners,
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  Speaker 1: deep set in dimples, were all wan and pale to day,
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  Speaker 1: the loss of their usual natural, healthy color being made
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  Speaker 1: the more evident by the heavy shadow of the dark
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  Speaker 1: hair brought down upon the temples to hide all signs
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  Speaker 1: of the blow she had received. Her head for all it.
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  Speaker 1: Drooping eyes was thrown a little back in the old
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  Speaker 1: proud attitude. Her long arms hung motionless by her sides. Altogether,
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  Speaker 1: she looked like some prisoner, falsely accused of a crime
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  Speaker 1: that she loathed and despised, and from which she was
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  Speaker 1: too indignant to justify herself. Mister Thornton made a hasty
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  Speaker 1: step or two forwards, recovered himself, and went with quiet
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  Speaker 1: firmness to the door which she had left open, and
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  Speaker 1: shut it. Then he came back and stood opposite to
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  Speaker 1: her for a moment, receiving the general impression of her
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  Speaker 1: beautiful presence, before he dared to disturb it, perhaps to
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  Speaker 1: repel it, by what he had to say, Miss Hale,
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  Speaker 1: I was very ungrateful yesterday. You had nothing to be
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  Speaker 1: grateful for, said she, raising her eyes and looking full
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  Speaker 1: and straight at him. You mean, I suppose that you
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  Speaker 1: believe you ought to thank me for what I did
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  Speaker 1: in spite of herself, in defiance of her anger. The
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  Speaker 1: thick blushes came all over her face and burnt into
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  Speaker 1: her very eyes, which fell not nevertheless from their grave
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  Speaker 1: and steady look. It was only a natural instinct. Any
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  Speaker 1: woman would have done just the same. We all feel
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  Speaker 1: the sanctity of our sex as a high privilege when
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  Speaker 1: we see danger. I ought rather, said she hastily, to
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  Speaker 1: apologize to you for having said thoughtless words which sent
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  Speaker 1: you down into the danger. It was not your words,
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  Speaker 1: it was the truth, they conveyed pungently as it was expressed.
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  Speaker 1: But you shall not drive me off upon that and
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  Speaker 1: so escape the expression of my deep gratitude. My He
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  Speaker 1: was on the verge. Now. He would not speak in
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  Speaker 1: the haste of his hot passion. He would weigh each
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  Speaker 1: word he would, and his will was triumphant. He stopped
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  Speaker 1: in mid career. I do not try to escape from anything,
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  Speaker 1: said she. I simply say that you owe me no gratitude,
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  Speaker 1: And I may add that any expression of it would
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  Speaker 1: be painful to me, because I do not feel that
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  Speaker 1: I deserve it. Still, if it will relieve you from
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  Speaker 1: even a fancied obligation, speak on. I do not want
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  Speaker 1: to be relieved from any obligation, said he, goaded by
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  Speaker 1: her calm manner. Fancied or not fancied, I question not
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  Speaker 1: myself to know which I choose to believe that I
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  Speaker 1: owe my very life to you. I smile and think
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  Speaker 1: it an exaggeration. If you will, I believe it because
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  Speaker 1: it adds a value to that life. To think, Oh,
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  Speaker 1: miss Hale, continued, he lowering his voice to such a
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  Speaker 1: tender intensity of passion that she shivered and tumbled before him.
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  Speaker 1: To think circumstances so wrought that whenever I exult in
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  Speaker 1: existence henceforward, I may say to myself, all this gladness
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  Speaker 1: in life, all honest pride in doing my work in
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  Speaker 1: the world, all this keen sense of being, I owe
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  Speaker 1: to her. And it doubles the gladness, It makes the
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  Speaker 1: pride glow, It sharpens the sense of existence, till I
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  Speaker 1: hardly know if it is pain or pleasure to think
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  Speaker 1: that I owe it to one. Nay, you must, you shall, hear,
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  Speaker 1: said he, stepping forward with stern determination to one whom
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  Speaker 1: I love as I do not believe man ever loved woman.
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  Speaker 1: Before he held her hand tight in his. He panted
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  Speaker 1: as he listened for what should come. He threw the
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  Speaker 1: hand away with indignation as he heard her icy tone.
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  Speaker 1: For icy it was, though the words came faltering out,
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  Speaker 1: as if she knew not where to find them. Your
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  Speaker 1: way of speaking shocks me. It is blasphemous. I cannot
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  Speaker 1: help it. If that is my first feeling, it might
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  Speaker 1: not be so. I dare say, if I understood the
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  Speaker 1: kind of feeling you describe, I do not want to
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  Speaker 1: vex you. And besides we must speak gently, for Mamma
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  Speaker 1: is asleep. But your whole manner offends me, how exclaimed
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  Speaker 1: he offends you, I am indeed most unfortunate, Yes, said she,
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  Speaker 1: with recovered dignity. I do feel offended, and I think justly.
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  Speaker 1: You seem to fancy that my conduct of yesterday, again
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  Speaker 1: the deep carnation blush, but this time with eyes kindling
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  Speaker 1: with indignation rather than shame, was a personal act between
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  Speaker 1: you and me, and that you may come and thank
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  Speaker 1: me for it, instead of perceiving as a gentleman would. Yes,
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  Speaker 1: a gentleman, she repeated, in allusion to their former conversation
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  Speaker 1: about that word, that any woman worthy of the name
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  Speaker 1: of woman would come forward to shield with her reverenced
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  Speaker 1: helplessness a man in danger from the violence of numbers,
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  Speaker 1: And the gentleman, thus rescued, is forbidden the relief of thanks.
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  Speaker 1: He broke in contemptuously. I am a man. I claim
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  Speaker 1: the right of expressing my feelings. And I yielded to
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  Speaker 1: the right, simply saying that you gave me pain by
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  Speaker 1: insisting upon it, She replied, proudly. But you seem to
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  Speaker 1: have imagined that I was not merely guided by womanly instinct.
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  Speaker 1: But and here the passionate tears kept down for long,
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  Speaker 1: struggled with v came into her eyes and choked her voice.
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  Speaker 1: But that I was prompted by some particular feeling for you. You
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  Speaker 1: why there is not a man, not a poor desperate
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  Speaker 1: man in all that crowd, for whom I had not
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  Speaker 1: more sympathy, for whom I should not have done what
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  Speaker 1: little I could more heartily. You may speak on, miss Hale.
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  Speaker 1: I am aware of all these misplaced sympathies of yours.
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  Speaker 1: I now believe that it was only your innate sense
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  Speaker 1: of oppression. Yes, I, though a master may be oppressed
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  Speaker 1: that made you act so nobly as you did. I
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  Speaker 1: know you despise me. Allow me to say it is
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  Speaker 1: because you do not understand me. I do not care
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  Speaker 1: to understand, she replied, taking hold of the table to
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  Speaker 1: steady herself, for she thought him cruel, as indeed he was,
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  Speaker 1: and she was weak with her indignation. No, I see
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  Speaker 1: you do not. You are unfair and unjust. Margaret compressed
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  Speaker 1: her lips. She would not speak in answer to such accusations.
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  Speaker 1: But for all that, for all his savage words, he
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  Speaker 1: could have thrown himself at her feet and kissed the
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  Speaker 1: hem of her garment, she did not speak. She did
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  Speaker 1: not move. The tears of wounded, pride fell hot and fast.
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  Speaker 1: He waited awhile, longing for her to say something, even
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  Speaker 1: a taunt to which he might reply, But she was silent.
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  Speaker 1: He took up his hat. One word more. You look
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  Speaker 1: as if you thought it tainted you to be loved
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  Speaker 1: by me. You cannot avoid it, Nay, I if I
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  Speaker 1: would cannot cleanse you from it. But I would not
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  Speaker 1: if I could. I have never loved any woman before.
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  Speaker 1: My life has been too busy, my thoughts too much
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  Speaker 1: absorbed with other things. Now I love and will love.
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  Speaker 1: But do not be afraid of too much expression on
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  Speaker 1: my part. I am not afraid, she replied, lifting herself
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  Speaker 1: straight up. No one yet has ever dared to be
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  Speaker 1: impertinent to me, and no one ever shall. But mister Thornton,
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  Speaker 1: you have been very kind to my father, said she,
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  Speaker 1: changing her whole tone and bearing to a most womanly softness.
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  Speaker 1: Do not let us go on making each other angry? Pray, don't.
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  Speaker 1: He took no notice of her words. He occupied himself
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  Speaker 1: in smoothing the nap of his hat with his coat
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  Speaker 1: sleeve for half a minute or so, and then rejecting
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  Speaker 1: her offered hand, and making as if he did not
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  Speaker 1: see her grave look of regret. He turned abruptly away
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  Speaker 1: and left the room. Margaret caught one glance at his
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  Speaker 1: face before he went. When he was gone, she thought
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  Speaker 1: she had seen the gleam of unshed tears in his eyes,
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  Speaker 1: and that turned her proud dislike into something different and kinder,
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  Speaker 1: if nearly as painful. Self reproach for having caused such
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  Speaker 1: mortification to any one. But how could I help, it,
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  Speaker 1: asked she of herself. I never liked him. I was civil,
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  Speaker 1: but I took no trouble to conceal my indifference. Indeed,
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  Speaker 1: I never thought about myself or him. So my manners
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  Speaker 1: must have shown the truth all that yesterday he might mistake.
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  Speaker 1: But that is his fault, not mine. I would do
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  Speaker 1: it again if need were, though it does lead me
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  Speaker 1: into all this shame and trouble. End of Chapter twenty
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  Speaker 1: four