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Ranking Every Movie Ever Made - Episode 2 · Meet Your Double Feature | Movie Reviews & Forgotten Films

0:09
Hello and welcome to Meet Your Double Feature.
0:11
My name is Thomas, joined as always by my brother Frank.
0:14
Frank, how are you? Yeah, I'm all right.
0:16
Oh. He's all right, OK.
0:19
Just kidding, I'm so excited. He's excited, all right.
0:22
Have been going there for a second.
0:24
Frank's excited. I'm also excited.
0:26
We are happy to bring you after kind of back by popular demand,
0:30
the second episode of ranking every movie ever made.
0:34
The show where Frank and I pull movies out of a hat and rank
0:37
them on one exhaustive list of every movie ever made, from best
0:40
to worst. It is an achievable goal.
0:44
We're going to do it. The people need us to do it.
0:48
It's it's been long enough. People need a list of everything
0:52
ranked. People need that list.
0:54
They're dying for it. We're going to release that
0:59
list. Gosh, people, They've tried to
1:04
release parts of the list, not all of it.
1:07
They claim that's all of it, but there's more.
1:09
There is more, and we're going to give it to you.
1:13
I didn't understand that that was a joke right away.
1:15
I was just like, yeah, that's what we're doing.
1:20
We got to stop that's. So Frank, the way that ranking
1:25
every movie ever made is going to work, much like last time,
1:27
I'm going to have you be my random number generator guy.
1:30
I have a list on my end of basically any movie that you or
1:34
I have seen in the past 10-15 years or so, all listed
1:38
alphabetically. So you're going to give me a
1:40
random number, I'll find which movie that is on my list and
1:43
then we will try to rank it somewhere on our pre-existing
1:46
list, which as of now has 10 movies on it from our first
1:49
episode. You might be alarmed to see that
1:53
our current best movie of all time is Star Wars Attack of the
1:57
Clones. Frank, do you have any thoughts
2:01
on that? Is that a defensible position?
2:05
I, I don't, and no one should be surprised by that.
2:07
I, I think that's a very valid, yeah.
2:10
I mean, we'll see how long it stays there.
2:12
I, I imagine, you know, probably until we hit Revenge of the
2:16
Sith, it'll, it'll stay up there for a long time.
2:18
So we'll see how it goes. And then, you know, the fight of
2:22
the century will be like, where's Phantom Menace go?
2:24
Go Yeah. Yeah.
2:26
So, Frank, I guess with that, why don't we put an hour on the
2:29
clock? You can give me the first number
2:32
and we'll get the show started. So let's we tried to come up
2:35
with this last time. Let's spin that list of movies.
2:40
That's good. That's good.
2:41
Yeah, that we're really going to lock that in.
2:43
Yep, that's the that's going to be on AT shirt by the end of the
2:45
week. Cool, I'd wear that.
2:52
So our first number is movie #401.
2:56
Movie #401 Let me find it take. Your time it's just an audio
3:04
only medium. OK movie #401 on my alphabetized
3:09
list. Dune.
3:12
Oh, the original Dune or the new one?
3:15
Now again, Frank's mad about this because he has since gone
3:18
back and fixed it, but at the time I made the list I had your
3:23
list of movies and some of them didn't have ears on them.
3:25
So this just says Dune. Have you seen the 80s one?
3:29
No, I don't think so. This has to be the new one or
3:31
it's the book, who knows? This most likely is June 2021,
3:38
The first in the ongoing remake trilogy from Denny Villeneuve I
3:44
believe is how you say that. I don't believe it is, but close
3:48
enough. I don't know, I'll just paste
3:52
over it with a real pronunciation.
3:53
OK, so we're talking June 2021. I'm taken aback that this is
3:57
like a popular movie. People will actually know what
4:00
this is. Yeah, people like Dune.
4:02
People like Dune, but did you like Dune?
4:05
Man, I, I remember I, I didn't see that movie in theaters.
4:10
I watched it I think the same year it came out, but like, I
4:14
was not as excited for it. I guess there's a lot of other
4:18
people. I, I didn't even really
4:19
understand the hype around it. I, I'd, I'd heard of Dune.
4:22
I know it's like in very early sci-fi property that a lot of
4:27
stuff has taken inspiration from, but I didn't expect the
4:31
movie to be such a huge hit, which I guess that's on me.
4:35
And so I watched it like later on on, you know, streaming on
4:39
like HBO. And I don't think I felt that
4:44
strongly about it. I remember about when it got to
4:46
the end of the movie and it was like a cliffhanger.
4:48
I was like, wait, what? This is there's more to this.
4:51
I didn't realize that there was like a multiple part series of
4:55
films either. So I think I walked away from it
4:59
feeling very like whatever, you know?
5:03
I'm oddly in almost the exact same boat.
5:06
I think I watched the movie after it left theaters.
5:08
I mean this was 2021 so I don't know how maybe like limited the
5:12
theatrical release was anyway with people getting back out
5:15
into public spaces. I don't really remember, but I
5:18
was also in that camp. I had read like the first half
5:21
of the Dune novel some years prior and thought the book was
5:25
interesting, but I think this movie presented itself as
5:29
something that was trying to hit such a high bar that I found
5:32
myself being oddly critical of it.
5:34
Visually, it's spectacular. It is a rare case of a newer
5:38
movie that is like entirely VFX created that still kind of looks
5:43
and feels impressive. I think a lot of computer
5:46
animated set pieces and environments just look kind of
5:49
like featureless and are not that interesting to look at.
5:53
Dude is. And it has interesting sound
5:55
design, you know, like there's a lot going in its favor.
5:57
But I had no emotional resonance to anything in it.
6:02
I agree with both of those statements actually.
6:04
I think it looks great, especially compared to a lot of
6:07
other modern like the FX heavy films.
6:10
But I think it comes from the source material that I just
6:13
didn't really connect with any of the characters in the movie
6:16
at all. And some of the lore is dense
6:22
too, which is great for like a sci-fi novel.
6:26
And I know there was there was an original Dune adaptation
6:30
which I'm actually interested to watch that one because I'm
6:34
curious as to as to how they tried adapting the material
6:37
then. But I think that's why I walked
6:41
away from it, like not feeling that strongly.
6:45
Either way, I was like that. That looked great, like it was
6:50
entertaining in a way, but the characters like, and the story
6:56
did not resonate with me that much.
7:00
There's. There's elements to Dune that as
7:03
a film were harmed by being an earnest adaptation of the story.
7:08
Like the characters in doing the novel have like a stoicism about
7:12
them and their specific details, like the what do they call like
7:16
the slow suits? Like you can't shoot these
7:18
people with bullets, so you have to like really gently push
7:22
swords into them. Like those those aspects were
7:26
adapted honestly into the movie and they looked frankly stupid
7:31
at times. Like there's nothing tense
7:35
about. Like, oh, I'm going to get you.
7:37
Oh, hold still. Like it's not.
7:41
I don't know there there's aspects that I think made it a
7:43
hard thing to adapt and they did a great job in a way, but the
7:46
the core of that story is hard to get into for some.
7:51
Yeah, it's reminding me there's, I believe the author's name is
7:54
Brandon Sanderson, who a lot of people would be familiar with,
7:58
but he wrote, he's wrote a ton of things, but the Mistborn
8:02
series is, is a popular one that's that's getting film
8:05
adaptation now. And I've seen people say very
8:08
similar things about that, that that book series has very dense
8:15
mechanics to the way that things work in that world and, and in
8:19
the combat especially. And so people are very like
8:24
interested in seeing how they're going to adapt that into the the
8:26
film version. I know in that case he's very
8:29
involved. I I think he's like going to be
8:31
the screenwriter on the film. But I think similar case there.
8:36
Yeah, I think they they maybe this modern Dune series has done
8:41
the best they could in terms of adapting the material.
8:43
But it's, it's just, you know, it's old sci-fi, it's old text
8:48
that they're working with. Yeah.
8:50
So as far as where would rank for us, like none of this is to
8:54
say, oh, the Dune movies are bad.
8:56
I never saw the second one because I had no interest after
8:59
the first one. So that speaks to our impression
9:01
of it, But I would not go as far as to like the movie's bad.
9:04
It just is fine. Like I found it.
9:08
I found it landed in a strong middle ground.
9:10
So we're sitting on a weird list.
9:12
We have 10 random movies that we pulled previously.
9:14
I think this could sail all the way up to Hercules Uncontested,
9:19
which is our current number 5, the Disney Hercules.
9:21
Do you think it's better than Disney Hercules?
9:25
That's. Those are so hard to compare
9:28
actually because. Nah, they're basically the same
9:30
thing. Sand sandals.
9:38
I, I think a lot of this list is going to be going off like gut
9:42
feelings and I'm just going to, I'd put it maybe right above
9:47
Hercules. I think that feels.
9:48
Above Hercules that would put it below our our torch bearer for
9:52
the whole series. Hot Fuzz, which was the first
9:54
movie we pulled. Dude and Hot Fuzz.
9:57
Honestly for me similar feel like good sound movies that I
10:02
should like more than I do and something about them didn't
10:05
fully connect. You don't have to like every
10:08
everything you know. It's not for me, which is
10:11
unfortunate for this definitive list of the best movies ever
10:14
made, but. It is definitive and everyone
10:16
has to swear by it. Forever, so abide by it.
10:19
This is your one chance, dude, you know.
10:22
So is that above or below Hot Fuzz?
10:25
Oh gosh, stupid Hot Fuzz. Hot Fuzz is killing us.
10:30
If you heard our first episode, which please go back and watch
10:33
it. If there is obviously continuity
10:34
between that and this. I I don't know what to make of
10:37
Hot Fuzz. It's aimless.
10:38
I don't know how I would, but it's a good one to have because
10:41
I feel like that's a shorthand. Is it better than Hot Fuzz?
10:44
Yes or no? I say let's put it right below
10:47
in between Hot Fuzz right below feels right for right.
10:50
Now, so the current 5th best movie ever made is 2021's Dune,
10:55
written and directed by Denis Denis.
11:02
Are you OK? I'll get it, don't worry.
11:09
OK, so dune #5 good job, dude. Frank, that means it's time for
11:14
you to spin that list and give us our next movie.
11:18
Spin that list. Oh, it's really close, 393. 393.
11:24
Yeah, Why is that so surprising? 393 Let's see 393 on our
11:30
alphabetized list is 1982's Dragon Lord.
11:35
What is? That I have no idea.
11:38
Is that you? That might be me.
11:40
Let's do a quick search. OK?
11:44
1982's Dragon Lord is a Jackie Chan movie, our second one, but
11:48
I don't know which of us saw this.
11:50
It looks like a like a historical setting Jackie Chan
11:54
movie. One of his earlier ones before
11:57
his like big breakout. I couldn't tell you which of us
12:01
saw this. Well, we got to keep the list
12:03
moving, so let's just plug it in right under Who am I?
12:06
Keep trucking. Should we be that careless about
12:10
it? Got a lot of movies to get
12:14
through. Got a lot of movies to get
12:15
through. OK.
12:16
I mean, considering I've seen like dozens of his films and
12:18
could tell you a lot about most of them, the fact that Dragon
12:21
Lord doesn't ring a bell means that yeah, we're going to slot
12:23
it right below Who Am I? Which is what I at least
12:26
remember the plot of Let. Me Google it real quick, let me
12:29
see if I can if this brings any memories up.
12:34
Listen, the list is unforgiving, OK?
12:36
If you don't make a strong enough impression, how are we
12:38
supposed to rate you as like a great, you know, all time movie?
12:41
I couldn't even tell you what it was about.
12:43
Yeah, moving on. Moving on, spin that list.
12:48
Spin that list. Oh, OK, we're going near or to
12:53
the bottom. It is 1228. 1228 that would be
13:02
Oh, this is amusing. OK, 12/28 on our alphabetized
13:05
list is the 1985 Japanese film Tampopo.
13:09
Frank, I got you a Criterion Collection copy of Tampopo for
13:15
Christmas or something, and I think you haven't watched it.
13:18
And not only that, I think you flew back to LA and you left it
13:21
here. Come on now.
13:28
He had it in his hands, people. Yeah, well, you know, we have
13:35
one of those diskless PlayStation Fives here, so like,
13:41
I don't think I have anything that can play Blu rays or DVDs,
13:45
so that might have been part of the issue.
13:47
OK, I will say Tampopo, Japanese film, immediately in contention
13:52
for the top of the list as it stands right now, because it's a
13:55
fantastic, fantastic movie. I've seen it twice.
13:59
It's one of my wife's favorite movies.
14:01
It's this very stylistic film presented almost with a quality
14:06
akin to, like, an old American Western, But instead of being
14:09
about like, an old saloon, it's about a woman trying to run her
14:13
own ramen shop. And this guy comes in who is
14:18
presented like a cowboy. He literally has a cowboy hat on
14:21
who has to kind of like, teach her the way in order to make,
14:24
like, real authentic ramen noodle dishes.
14:27
And the whole thing is this bizarre contemplation on cooking
14:32
and food and, like, the life cycle and the nature of, like,
14:36
what makes someone an amateur or a professional.
14:39
It's so hard to pitch why this movie is fascinating, but it's
14:43
genuinely really, really good. Like, even someone who has not
14:47
spent a lot of time watching foreign films, like films from
14:50
outside your own country. Tom Papa's great.
14:53
It translates well. It's amazing.
14:57
No, that actually, Yeah, that sounds great.
14:59
I understand why you got me that DVD now.
15:01
Wish I could have seen it, but it's.
15:03
Sitting at my place right now where I watched it again.
15:08
I took the plastic off you didn't even get to.
15:12
I do really want to watch that one.
15:15
I remember you, actually. I remember this gift.
15:17
I remember you pitching it almost the same way actually.
15:20
I remember thinking, God, I can't wait to throw this out on
15:22
the way home. No, no, no, no, no, no, I I
15:25
would I would love to watch this movie, mainly that DVD.
15:28
So I can't. So I'll try and just.
15:30
Force it into. The TV somehow.
15:34
So I would say our top movies on the list so far.
15:37
We have Attack of the Clones, Highlander, Angel Heart, a lot
15:40
of 80s films near the top. I'd be comfortable putting Tom
15:43
Popo at the very least at #2 I like it even more than
15:47
Highlander, which I spoke very highly of last time.
15:50
The question is, can it go above Star Wars Episode 2 Attack of
15:54
the Clones or are we just going to sell out in Episode 2?
16:00
Wait. Wait, which version of this is
16:02
selling out, not leaving Attack of the Clones at the top?
16:05
I think leaving Attack of the Clones at the top is US
16:08
destroying our credibility, but it's also episode 2 of the
16:13
series. Oh.
16:17
So anyway, Tom popo #1 movie. Yeah, I put it on top.
16:20
Let's let's be real. Come on.
16:22
Let's be real, we're not total hacks.
16:24
We just didn't care enough about Highlander to not put Star Wars
16:27
Popo. Yeah, totally.
16:29
So Tom Popo temporarily best movie of all time.
16:32
Not even mad, it's a genuinely delightful watch.
16:35
Very comedic, couldn't recommend that enough.
16:40
OK, so Star Wars Episode 2 has been unseated.
16:43
Tom Popo is now the best movie of all time, unless our next one
16:47
ranks didn't even higher. So, Frank, why don't we spin
16:48
that list? That's the fun thing, you know,
16:50
We don't know what's coming next.
16:52
We don't know. Spin that list and we got
16:56
number. Does this even work?
16:59
363 this time. I feel like we're just ping pong
17:02
in. Here.
17:02
OK, strange, OK #363 on the alphabetical list.
17:08
Frank, this is a movie we saw together at the movie theater
17:11
Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness from 2022.
17:15
Oh, I remember that. That was yeah, I remember that.
17:18
I was the Marvel movie, very mainstream.
17:20
Frank was there. That was the.
17:23
Sam Raimi 1. Yes, directed by Sam Raimi.
17:26
This was in that period where the Marvel Cinematic Universe
17:29
had made it past its end game and interest was waning, Still
17:33
is. And so they started handing out
17:35
projects to slightly more, I guess, auteur directors.
17:40
Not that they haven't always done that a little bit, but I
17:42
think them bringing in Sam Raimi was very much like, please pay
17:44
attention to this one. We know people like Sam Raimi's
17:47
filmmaking. It's very, I don't know, kind of
17:51
non conformist. It's very stylistic in a way
17:53
that draws attention to it being a movie.
17:56
You know what I mean? Like a lot of obvious sort of
17:58
comedic use of cameras. That's a very generic sentence.
18:03
He uses cameras. It turns him on.
18:06
It does. It does turn the camera on at
18:08
some. Point the camera on.
18:09
He uses a lot of over the top comedic sight gags and like
18:13
flashy camera moves in his earlier film.
18:16
Stuff like Evil Dead. I will say Doctor Strange here
18:21
kind of still just feels like a regular Marvel movie.
18:24
It does. That came out I believe around
18:26
the same time as the last Spider Man movie where they did the the
18:31
cameos. Yeah, all right.
18:34
Sam made me Spider Man 2. I got ahead of myself.
18:36
Obviously he's done superhero movies as well.
18:38
Right, Yeah, yeah, it didn't leave the lasting impression.
18:43
I I think it had some of his trademark visual style in parts
18:49
of the film, but it overall still felt very much like a
18:54
Marvel movie. And as you mentioned, like
18:56
Marvel past its end game peak, so not great.
19:04
Not. Great.
19:05
And I think it's set up the like again, this all kind of blends
19:09
together in a mush at this point, but like think it ends on
19:12
some sort of cliffhanger with like Tilda Swinton, if I'm
19:17
remembering correctly. I honestly don't know.
19:19
I could have dreamed that, but I think that's how the movie ends.
19:23
I know, yeah, he he grows like a third eye and I don't even know
19:26
if that character has been seen since.
19:28
No, that's the thing, yeah. It might not even be followed up
19:31
on because like that's, that's been another thing Marvel's done
19:34
recently. Is that just like dropped.
19:36
I I think like I saw an article one time that was like all the
19:40
post credit scenes that have led to nothing.
19:42
And I think that might be one of them.
19:44
Yeah, I mean, which makes it probably all the better that
19:46
like the final post credits scene in this one was just like
19:49
a joke with like Bruce Campbell showing up because he's in all
19:52
the Sam Raimi movies. Like it was nothing.
19:54
It was like an intentional, intentionally flat scene almost
19:57
to make fun of you for waiting. Yeah, totally, totally.
20:00
That was fine. I gosh, I honestly have almost
20:04
nothing good to say about this one.
20:05
It's not like a terrible film, it's just grossly unremarkable.
20:10
It's a Marvel movie. It's like that, that, that just
20:14
you, you know what that feels like.
20:16
You know what that is like. You can fill in the blanks even
20:20
if you haven't seen this movie. Yeah, I on the rankings, it's
20:26
going to be in the bottom half. I would say that it's can easily
20:29
slot in above some of these movies at the bottom that we
20:32
hardly even remember or like strongly disliked.
20:35
It's for me. The question is, does Doctor
20:38
Strange to get above Jackie Chan's?
20:42
Who am I? I don't.
20:44
Think so. Does it get above Dragonlord
20:46
though? Honestly, having not even
20:49
recalled the movie, I would probably prefer Dragon.
20:52
Lord. Yeah, let's put it below Dragon
20:53
Lord, actually. But above Hilary Duff's
20:56
Cinderella story. Well, that's a good movie.
20:59
Let's not be too hasty here. But no it can it.
21:02
Can go above OK. You did not seem eager to talk
21:05
about it last time. Well, you were judging me.
21:07
I didn't want to, you know, I was like, OK, I was judging a
21:09
Cinderella story. If actual like Disney Cinderella
21:13
shows up on this list, it'll go much higher but Hilary Duff,
21:17
that's for sure. She was an icon if they're early
21:19
2000s. Same.
21:27
OK, that's another one locked in.
21:29
Things are moving quick today. We might get through more than
21:31
10 movies. Frank, back to you.
21:33
Let's spin that wheel. Spinning the wheel and we are
21:38
landing on number. What?
21:40
What? What's that bitch?
21:43
You made it to. Just trying to add some flavour
21:47
to it. Yeah, no, that was good.
21:49
We don't have a theme song for the wheel yet, so.
21:51
We'll get there though. I like it in the.
21:54
Wheel sounds like you're on a wheel wall, right?
21:59
Exactly. Yeah, somebody's throwing knives
22:02
at me. Yeah, it's going to be #806.
22:07
806. Yeah, you're always surprised by
22:10
the numbers like that. I'm.
22:11
Scrolling. I'm scrolling to find it while
22:13
we talk about it. OK, First off, we were one away
22:17
from pulling a movie that we've covered on our main Meet Your
22:20
Double feature programming. So that's a bummer.
22:22
I want to pull those at some point instead #806
22:26
alphabetically 1990 Sevens, Men in Black.
22:31
Oh, that's interesting. That isn't real movie.
22:35
OK #806. If that is your real name, OK.
22:39
Men in Black, I would say off the bat is a movie that's like,
22:44
actually even a bit better than people give it credit for it.
22:47
I I agree, I think it's like it's one of those movies that
22:51
was a huge commercial financial success, but is also like
22:57
critically speaking, a a good film.
23:00
It it's, it's entertaining, it's fun.
23:02
It's. Like appropriately balanced
23:05
between comedy and drama. Yeah, I totally Yeah.
23:09
Like fun performances too from the two leads like Will Smith
23:14
and Agent Kelly Jones, Tommy Lee Jones.
23:19
Yeah, I really like Men in Black.
23:21
I think I saw it again just a couple of years ago, and I think
23:25
I'm impressed most by Will Smith's performance.
23:29
I mean, this was pretty early into him breaking out as an
23:31
actor instead of I mean, he'd already done TV for a long time,
23:34
but this was like some of his earliest big film roles.
23:36
He does genuinely good. He gives like the appropriate
23:40
amount of gravity to like the more serious parts of the story,
23:43
but then also obviously brings in his like, goofy comedy to it.
23:47
And there's also just occasionally really strong bits
23:49
of dialogue. I think Tommy Lee Jones has like
23:51
a little monologue to him about what does he say?
23:56
This is a poll. We had a we had a quote from
23:58
this movie as our as our bio on our old Xbox 360 profile.
24:04
That's true. I remember that, yeah.
24:07
It was something like he was like a person is smart, people
24:12
are dumb, stupid animals and you know it or something like that.
24:16
But he he was trying to draw a comparison about how obviously
24:18
silly it sounded for aliens to exist.
24:21
And he compared it to the evolving understanding of the
24:25
world that we've had throughout history, where he's like, people
24:27
used to know that the sun was the center of the universe and
24:31
they used to know this and that. All things that have since been
24:34
disproven. Can you imagine what you'll know
24:37
tomorrow? Like.
24:38
And it's a very interesting piece of dialogue in what could
24:41
have easily been a really silly movie.
24:43
Yeah, it's very like philosophical.
24:45
And then even the the ending of the film where it just like
24:49
zooms out from Earth and then just keeps zooming further and
24:52
further out until it's like giant aliens are using entire
24:56
galaxies as like a game of marbles.
24:59
It's like kind of silly, but also like kind of poignant too,
25:05
in terms of like, you know, sci-fi and like philosophical
25:10
exploration of the unknown. And yeah, I think I think it's
25:15
honestly, it's probably my favorite Will Smith performance
25:18
out of any of his movies like that.
25:21
Like, oh. Absolutely.
25:22
Because he has two sides at least, you know what I mean?
25:24
Like, he's not just there to crack jokes and he's not, you
25:27
know, gunning for an Oscar. He's playing a character who is
25:31
light hearted but still self serious about like the dangers
25:35
happening in the story. Yeah, plus so much like
25:38
iconography from that movie too, like the their little memory
25:42
eraser thing, like. Yeah, the Neuralizer.
25:45
Put the neuralizer. Yeah, they put on the
25:47
sunglasses. Like they got those great
25:49
outfits. There's there's that funny scene
25:52
where they're like testing Will Smith and he like, like, you
25:55
know, they're like shooting the cardboard cutouts of the aliens
25:58
and he like shoots the little girl or something like.
26:01
Yeah. It's just like it's just great
26:04
even 00. And great performance from
26:05
Vincent d'onofrio too. Is like the gross cockroach guy.
26:08
Oh my gosh yeah him portraying an alien wearing a human body as
26:14
like a skin suit is so well done I can't believe it.
26:18
Like he is wearing prosthetics to exaggerate how like droopy he
26:22
looks, but the actual like vocal performance and his mannerisms
26:25
are amazing. Super super memorable.
26:28
It's like the opposite of Dragonlord.
26:33
Yeah, exactly. That scene at the the end, too,
26:35
where Will Smith is like stepping on all the cockroaches
26:37
and he's like, oh, was that your auntie like?
26:40
Yeah, exactly. Say, genuinely funny, genuinely
26:43
good sci-fi, strong performances, memorable
26:46
characters. Like for me, men in blacks are
26:48
already competing with Star Wars Attack of the Clones.
26:52
Honestly, I'm going to put it above Attack of the Clones in
26:56
terms of it competing with temp popo.
26:58
Then again, you're getting into an interesting discussion
27:01
because it's like this very from what I understand tempo to be a
27:06
more like artsy film, like something more smaller and
27:11
character driven versus Men in Black, which is so big, but Men
27:13
in Black just succeeds on so many levels, which is.
27:17
Such a rare. Thing to I.
27:20
I agree. Like if you can aim for that
27:24
broad of an appeal but still have substance that goes all the
27:27
way down. Like it's kind of a matter of
27:31
ideology at that point. I feel like you and I personally
27:35
have always really loved movies in that middle ground.
27:38
Like they're trying to be big and for everybody, but they have
27:41
substance behind them. I think that's what to to that
27:45
point that you just made. Like that's what a lot of people
27:47
think of when they think of a movie, especially a good movie
27:50
or a movie that they like is something like A Man in Black,
27:54
that it's like something that has a cultural footprint but is
28:00
still like, very good and and entertaining and has artistic
28:04
value to it. It it really speaks to the
28:07
dichotomy of what movies can be, especially in that, you know,
28:12
big commercial space. But yeah, what were you going to
28:14
say about Tampopo? Tampopo has more DNA in common
28:19
with Men in Black than you might think in terms of how odd and
28:24
comedic it is. Like, there's vignettes in
28:27
Tampopo that are so strange and so, like, just goofy funny.
28:31
Like, there's a scene at the beginning that's this old man
28:35
trying to, like, teach a young man how to properly eat, like a
28:38
bowl of ramen. Because, you know, in Japan, a
28:41
bowl of ramen is like a set dish that has, like, noodles and pork
28:45
and vegetables all kind of neatly arranged.
28:48
And he's, like, trying to explain to the young man, like,
28:50
how to properly eat the food, but it's just, like, pure
28:54
gibberish. He's just like, first, you have
28:56
to tap your chopstick on the pork three times as if to say,
28:59
I'm sorry. Like, it's not going for
29:03
anything more than Men in Black is, in a way.
29:07
Like, it is a smaller scale movie.
29:09
And it's not, you know, a action blockbuster.
29:12
But they actually are kind of going through the same thing.
29:14
So I'd be happy putting Men in Black on either side of Tampopo.
29:18
Yeah, it is tough because then it really calls into question
29:21
whether we're ranking these on like artistic value or
29:25
entertainment value. I honestly, I agree.
29:29
I, I, I would, I would be OK with this going on either side.
29:32
I, I think, gosh, I think for now let's maybe #1.
29:36
Let's just put men in black. Number one, yeah.
29:38
Maybe #1 tempo PO get lost, loser.
29:43
Yeah. Who is her if we pull Ace
29:47
Ventura, by the way, straight to the bottom just.
29:52
I'm sure it's not that. Bad.
29:53
No, it's not. I just, I couldn't think about
29:55
it in that sentence and I thought it'd be funny.
29:57
Straight to the bottom. OK, Men in Black, we have two,
30:02
two, I don't know, new number ones in the same episode.
30:06
That's fun. I guess.
30:08
Let's keep it up. Maybe we'll see an even better
30:10
movie. Yeah, let's find out.
30:13
Spin that wheel. Wheel it's.
30:18
A slightly longer vowel every time.
30:21
Yeah, Episode 4. It's going to be like spin in
30:22
the wee. I'm just going to fade out.
30:26
Just got to find the right note where, you know, right where we
30:28
like it. And then that's, that'll be it
30:30
forever. So it's going to be #1020, four,
30:34
10. 1024 Oh my goodness, this is a very crowd pleasing episode.
30:39
These are movies people will know. 1024 on our alphabetized
30:43
list. 1989's Roadhouse Roadhouse Roadhouse.
30:48
Probably best known for that Family Guy bit where he just
30:50
keeps saying Roadhouse no. I'm almost certain that it is,
30:54
but Roadhouse, we talked about this on the podcast recently,
30:58
right? Or during our was it during our
31:01
shoot fighter episode maybe? Possibly.
31:03
I don't remember how much made it into the episode, but we did
31:06
bring it up. I think it did because it was
31:08
the the throat ripping scene. Yeah, there's a there's a very
31:14
strange bit at Roadhouse, which is a Patrick Swayze, mostly a
31:18
drama, frankly. He does some martial arts style
31:20
stuff in it. But it is a story about him
31:22
being a bouncer at this very troublesome bar that has like
31:28
issues with a rich guy who's trying to own the land and owns
31:32
a competing business. And also just like rough and
31:34
tumble people coming through. And Swayze is portraying just
31:37
the coolest man alive. It's essentially his character,
31:41
but one of the details about him in order to sell that he's maybe
31:45
like a little too violent is there's a rumor that he ripped a
31:49
man's throat out. And then later in the movie they
31:52
go, oh, no, yeah, that's 100% true.
31:54
Also, he just did it again. Yeah, that was the most
31:58
surprising part because, yeah, it just it feels like this like
32:03
urban legend type story that people are like are telling
32:06
about him. Like he's he's such a prolific
32:09
character in the bar bouncer world, which is kind of funny
32:14
that that's even a thing too, that like, Oh yeah, I heard he,
32:17
you know, ripped a guy's throat at one time.
32:19
But yeah, he literally did. That's his signature move.
32:23
Don't mess with him. He'll rip your throat out.
32:24
I guess he is. Portrayed as a character from a
32:28
fighting game like a Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat or
32:32
something. Like he just has a fatality
32:33
move. He also makes it look really
32:36
effortless when he rips out a guy's throat in the movie, which
32:38
is part of what makes it so funny.
32:40
He's like, oops, got your throat.
32:44
Yeah, yeah. To me that's the most memorable
32:48
part about the whole movie because I I that was that, you
32:51
know, is obviously a a film that's been around for a long
32:55
time, but I just saw it recently in the past couple of years.
32:59
I think it was my first time seeing Roadhouse and I was
33:03
thoroughly enjoyed. Thoroughly enjoyed by it.
33:06
That doesn't make sense. I thoroughly.
33:07
Enjoyed by it. What does the movie think about
33:09
you? Yeah.
33:11
It was watching me back. Yeah, Roadhouse is falls into a
33:16
similar camp. I know we have Highlander on the
33:17
list and that's from around the same time.
33:19
Similar quality to it where it's like so over the top macho that
33:26
it comes back around to being almost like absurdist in a way
33:29
that makes it kind of more entertaining.
33:30
Because Swayze is not just a throat ripping man, he's also
33:34
doing like Tai chi and it's just like handsome and charming and
33:38
supposed to be really like soft spoken and nice.
33:40
But then, because it's still kind of aimed at a male
33:42
audience, it has to end with him, like beating 20 people to
33:46
death. It's it's very atmospheric too,
33:52
which I really appreciated about it.
33:54
It feels like a very lived in space.
33:58
There's a lot of character given to this bar that he becomes the
34:01
bouncer for, so much so that like the bar is a character in
34:05
the film in a way. And there's fun side characters
34:10
like his, his mentor character, who I think is that Sam Elliott.
34:14
Playing yes, I wanted to talk about Sam Elliott because just
34:16
like the whole he ripped a guy's throat out one of the like
34:20
prevailing things about Patrick Swayze's character, who I know I
34:24
thought I remembered his name. I'm just going to keep calling
34:26
him Patrick Swayze. He has this figure in his life
34:28
who, like, taught him everything he knows.
34:30
And from a movie perspective, before Sam Elliott shows up,
34:34
you're like, we're not actually going to see this guy, right?
34:36
Like, how could you live up to the way he's being talked about
34:38
as being like, even cooler than this Patrick Swayze character
34:43
and then Sam Elliott just actually is they found.
34:45
It so cool. Suave and cool bouncer man and
34:49
like to hit that after setting it up for so long is genuinely
34:52
impressive. Especially as like the older
34:55
mentor character too like to to still be in in comparison to
35:02
Patrick Swayze of all people who is just like one of the coolest
35:05
guys in the history of film. Like Sam Elliott, like, really
35:09
stepped up to the plate with that character.
35:11
Welcome back to the show where we just glaze Patrick Swayze way
35:14
too much. As everyone should.
35:16
He's amazing, man. Patrick Swayze is like, you
35:19
know, he's a movie star. Like movies have always been
35:24
sold on stars. You know, I, I think now we've
35:28
moved into a time that's not as good where, where movies are
35:32
sold on like properties. Like, you know, it's like, oh,
35:35
they're in a Superman movie. It's always a different actor
35:38
playing Superman. And they're sort of
35:39
interchangeable. People are there for the
35:41
character more so than for like the people in the movie.
35:45
But, you know, you look at people like Swayze, like Tom
35:49
Cruise, especially people of that era of filmmaking, it's
35:52
like that's what got butts in seats was Patrick Swayze is the
35:56
lead in this movie, you know, and, and he's great.
35:58
He's, you know, he's awesome. He's one of my favorites in that
36:02
category too. Like he didn't do a lot of
36:03
movies like Roadhouse. I mean, obviously he was doing
36:06
other things like Dirty Dancing or more serious kind of serious
36:08
stuff like Point Break. But he has such a like
36:12
effeminate quality to some of his characters too.
36:15
Like, again, the kind of soft spoken, like calm demeanor that
36:20
he puts out even in Roadhouse through a lot of it is so
36:23
different than like a straight up like Sylvester Stallone,
36:26
Schwarzenegger action man. Like he has, he's got layers,
36:30
OK? He listens.
36:34
Totally. And and also like on that same
36:37
point, though, like it's a recurring line of dialogue where
36:40
multiple characters always say to him like, oh, I thought you'd
36:42
be bigger, you know, because he's not like a huge guy.
36:46
He's not like a Stallone or Schwarzenegger, but he's he's,
36:51
you know, he has this mythos behind him.
36:54
So yeah, it's just, it's very interesting.
36:58
That movie, it it was, it was a pleasant watch as as one that
37:02
I've heard a lot about. And it's just part of the
37:04
cultural zeitgeist to finally sit down and watch it and for it
37:08
to sort of live up to those cultural expectations.
37:12
I was like, no, this is awesome. I like I should have seen this a
37:14
long time ago. Plus, from a storytelling
37:17
perspective, he has the benefit of being a giant red flag man,
37:21
which a lot of people love in their like romance novels and
37:25
stuff. He's like super good.
37:26
But also he did RIP that guy's throat out.
37:29
Don't date him, Jennifer. Just if there is anyone who is.
37:37
Just if you needed to hear that right now.
37:38
Yeah, don't do it. He's bad for you.
37:43
Well, that was that was like a thing at the end of the movie
37:45
too, where he has to like, it's very much like that Jackie Chan
37:48
thing where he's like, don't, don't push me, don't make me do
37:51
this. He's like, I don't want to be
37:52
that guy anymore. Like, but I will.
37:55
I will Kung Fu you to death. It might just happen.
37:58
I'll do it. Would you say that his
38:00
presentation in Roadhouse is akin to like an old Western?
38:03
Because that's so often the John Wayne S character is like,
38:06
they're almost a civilized person, but they have too much
38:10
in common with the like, dangerous outlaw characters and
38:15
you need that in order for them to keep the town safe, but
38:18
ultimately they can't. They can't stay in the town.
38:21
Yeah, because. They're too wild to actually
38:23
stay in one place, so the relationship always ends on this
38:25
kind of because he does leave at the end, right?
38:28
Oh, actually, I don't know if he does, I think he might like stay
38:33
with. I can't remember who was playing
38:36
the romantic lead in that movie. I.
38:38
Also don't remember I can stop to look it up.
38:41
Yeah, let's stop to look it up because that would feel unfair
38:43
because I think she's great in that movie too.
38:46
Kelly Lynch. Oh, OK.
38:49
Who I guess I haven't seen a lot of the stuff that she has been
38:54
in. Kelly Lynch was in Cocktail,
38:57
which is a Tom Cruise movie. We were just talking about him
39:00
and was in Roadhouse and then also had an acclaimed
39:04
performance in the 1989 movie Drugstore Cowboy.
39:07
So kind of a 80s localized performer.
39:11
Yeah, I, I could be wrong. I think he does stay with her in
39:14
the end, like in the town maybe, but I don't know.
39:18
Go watch Roadhouse and and let us know.
39:21
But you're right. I that's a, that's a very good
39:23
point to bring up is that it is very Western inspired at least
39:28
because, you know, he he rolls into town, he's like this new
39:31
sheriff into town. Yeah, but he's the bouncer of
39:33
the bar. That's how they're like
39:34
translating that. It's a big combination of genres
39:37
that it kind of resonates in a way that we talked about
39:40
Highlander last time. It's just like peak 80s vibes,
39:44
you know, Roadhouse, you don't need to say anything else.
39:47
Well, I'm going to defer to you then.
39:49
And because I think this, I have a feeling of where this should
39:54
land. To me, I think it's like in
39:58
between the tack of the clones and Highlander.
40:00
Interesting sales past Hot Fuzz. I agree with that.
40:03
It's past the Fathuzz boundary. The Fathuzz.
40:07
Whatever. If this list was like a
40:12
geographical map, there'd just be like a a ravine in the middle
40:15
of it labeled Hotline. I would say it's definitely
40:20
above or below. I mean Angel Heart 2 is also
40:24
kind of in that same campus. Highlander.
40:25
Very different movie but has some similar type of appeal to
40:29
it. He could go anywhere.
40:32
I would say Roadhouse maybe, maybe above Highlander.
40:37
Yeah, that's that's what, that's what I was feeling too.
40:39
OK, so that's our that's currently going to be #4 for
40:42
Patrick Swayze. RIP you handsome man.
40:49
Yeah. I, I think, yeah, a lot of this
40:51
list, as I may have said earlier, is just going to be
40:54
going off vibes and I think we could spend forever deliberating
40:57
too much, but it is final. There will be no changes ever.
40:59
There will be no changes accepted.
41:01
We are going to be submitting this to the Library of Congress
41:03
as soon as we are finished. Yeah, any day now.
41:08
Any day now. All right, Frank, we're 2/3 of
41:10
the way through our hour. We're actually doing great.
41:12
I feel like we've gotten a lot of good discussion in, but let's
41:14
keep moving. Let's spin that list.
41:16
Spin in the list and we are going to 974.
41:22
OK, 974. All right, all right, We're
41:25
still on track. People will know this one, I
41:27
think this is 1992's Porco Rosso, which is our first Studio
41:31
Ghibli movie. Oh, that's cool.
41:33
We're getting a good mix of animated films in here already,
41:36
which is interesting. This is going so much better
41:39
than last time when we pulled a Sailor Moon movie and the Hilary
41:42
Duff. What people will recognize
41:44
these? People will know those ones.
41:46
There's a lot of people will recognize Cinderella's story,
41:49
All right, There's. People.
41:51
Out there. That like it do a separate
41:52
retrospective about that sometime.
41:54
Frank, have you have you seen Porco Rosso?
41:57
I actually don't think I have. This is what I I've seen a good
42:01
amount of Studio Ghibli, but not all of them.
42:04
Car Caroso, imagery wise, is predominantly about a pig man
42:08
flying an old World War Two plane that kind of looks like
42:13
the plane that Tails flies around it and Sonic the
42:15
Hedgehog. That that paints a very clear
42:18
picture. So thank you like.
42:19
A red, yeah, like a red biplane. Sonic is not on the wing of it,
42:24
but there is a pig in this in the cockpit, played by in the
42:27
English dub Michael Keaton. Oh, that's fun.
42:31
And he's the lead character of this pig.
42:33
He is, he's the lead pig. Korko Bros is great.
42:37
I would say like top level. It doesn't immediately come to
42:40
mind as like a favorite Studio Ghibli movie, but the bar for
42:44
their films is so, so high that it's still clears like a lot of
42:49
stuff. Like it will be in the upper
42:51
echelons of this list no matter how long it gets, because these
42:54
movies are just gorgeously animated and deeply moving.
42:58
Like every single one basically. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
43:02
This was a Miyazaki picture as well I believe.
43:05
Right. Specifically, yeah.
43:06
It's like the the full Hayao Miyazaki Studio Ghibli team in
43:10
the 90s, which is around the time they released a lot of
43:13
their biggest stuff. I mean, I think the most famous
43:17
Studio Ghibli movie might be oh gosh, I'm forgetting the name.
43:22
Ironically, you know which one I'm talking about, right?
43:26
Are. You talking about Spirited Away?
43:29
Spirited Away, there it is. Spirited Away I think has the
43:31
biggest reach. Like that was the one that got
43:34
an Oscar nomination in the USI think a lot of people would
43:36
think of that one first. And there's others too, but like
43:39
Porca Rosa is pretty much just as good.
43:41
It just doesn't have quite as much of that.
43:45
It doesn't have as much of that Gen.
43:47
Issaquah that some of these other movies have that puts them
43:49
even a little bit higher. So on a Studio Ghibli ranking,
43:52
it'd be in the middle on our list.
43:54
It, just like default, goes pretty high up.
43:57
Yeah. So I mean, what do we think?
43:59
Where are we? Where are we slotting this one
44:00
in? Does Porco Rosso crash his plane
44:03
into the Hot Fuzz refine? I don't know.
44:09
I think you could much like with that Jackie Chan movie.
44:12
I can't remember a lot about it. Like I remember that it's a
44:15
smaller scale story. I know he has like a kind of a
44:19
feud with like another guy in a plane and there's implications
44:23
that like, he used to be a regular human man turned into a
44:26
pig. I I guess would you put it above
44:29
or below Hercules? That's a good spot.
44:31
It's probably similar to how we mentioned Hercules.
44:35
It's, like, still a fantastic film, but not as strong as its
44:39
contemporary Disney movies. Porca Rosa is that, but for
44:42
Ghibli, however, I think it probably goes above Hercules.
44:46
Yeah. That's fine.
44:48
That puts it below Dune, which I think is fair.
44:52
That's me. That's me letting some ego go
44:54
out of this because like, I found Dune a little boring, but
44:56
it's still probably a more substantive movie.
44:59
It checks a couple more boxes, so I'm OK with Poca Rosa going
45:02
right below Dune. Yeah, that feels right.
45:05
That feels right to me as well. Feels right and it's final.
45:08
Legally cannot be changed. Yeah, sorry, not sorry.
45:12
You're welcome. That's actually a quote from A
45:17
Cinderella Story starring Henry. You wouldn't even know.
45:21
I wouldn't even know that's true.
45:23
All right, moving on. Spin that wheel.
45:27
Spinning. Jeez, low numbers again here.
45:30
Well, I guess high numbers depending on how you want to
45:32
look at it 1125. OK, OK, Number 1125, Frank,
45:40
again, I think you haven't seen this one, but we've talked about
45:42
it is 1959's Some Like It Hot. Oh, this is this is 1 I I've
45:47
wanted to watch for a long time. This this has been on my list.
45:51
So you can tell us a little bit about that one.
45:55
Some Like It Hot is directed by Billy Wilder who also made
45:58
Sunset Blvd. both very very famous golden age Hollywood
46:03
films. Although some Like It Hot, I
46:05
believe had some role in the like final ending of The Haze
46:12
Code in Hollywood. So you maybe have a better
46:16
summary of this to me, for people who don't know what, what
46:18
was the importance of like the Hayes code in like 30s forties,
46:21
50s Hollywood? It was essentially just a set of
46:26
rules in studio film making it in a sense.
46:30
It was a list of things that were prohibited.
46:33
And I'm not sure what year it officially ended, but I believe
46:40
a certain era of like golden age Hollywood ended around the 60s
46:45
going into the 70s. And that's when you got this
46:47
huge shift in the types of films you would see.
46:52
Because it was a shift from this like very picturesque, crisp,
47:00
clean world of Hollywood filmmaking to something more
47:05
gritty and substantive and realistic.
47:08
And the case code was a big part of that because of the the types
47:13
of things studio film makers weren't allowed to show in their
47:17
films. Yeah, essentially it was like an
47:21
attempt to self censor from Hollywood itself to avoid being
47:26
censored officially by the US government for content, because
47:29
they knew that if it went to that point, it would strip all
47:32
of their control away. Whereas if they kind of
47:34
preemptively stopped major studio releases from having like
47:38
too much violence, too much sexual implications or content
47:42
that they could get away unscathed, which was obviously
47:45
limiting, but did create this interesting period of like a lot
47:49
more strong use of like implications and metaphor to
47:53
talk about those same things without talking about them, you
47:56
know? Yeah, like just some cool
47:58
things. I mean, like the golden era of
47:59
Hollywood produced some fantastic films.
48:02
I mean, when the studios had a monopoly, it was a bad thing in
48:07
a way. But a lot of the films that came
48:10
out of that era were amazing. And as you put it to like, it
48:14
really forced some film makers to make interesting creative
48:19
decisions in terms of like how they would tell their story
48:22
under those limitations. Yeah, and some like it hot.
48:27
Interestingly, I think along with a number of other films
48:29
around that time, just were such big successes and pushed the
48:34
boundaries just enough that it kind of broke the wall down in
48:39
heading into the 60s. Because plot wise, the movie is
48:42
about these two musicians. These like down on their luck
48:44
musicians who witness accidentally witnessed the real
48:49
historical event called the Saint Valentine's Day massacre
48:52
in Chicago, which was a like mob hit where all these people got
48:56
killed with like Tommy guns in a very, you know, over the top
49:00
fashion. So these characters witnessed
49:02
this and are being chased by the mob because, you know, so they
49:06
don't reveal their identities and in order to get away, they
49:10
dress up in drag in order to get into like an all women's like
49:14
jazz band or something. That's like heading down to, I
49:17
don't know whether maybe down to Florida or something.
49:20
So they they have to spend most of the movie in drag pretending
49:23
to be women while one of them is inadvertently falling in love
49:27
with a woman that they meet. They're played by Marilyn
49:29
Monroe. Yeah, that's fun.
49:31
That's just really fun. It's a surprisingly tasteful
49:35
movie. Like, obviously it's full of,
49:38
you know, it's not up to par with a a true Renaissance film
49:41
like White Chicks, but. Sure, sure.
49:46
It manages to avoid being like deeply problematic and
49:49
considering it's from the 50s. There's even a very famous bit
49:52
at the end where the one guy dressed as a woman is in love
49:56
with Marilyn Monroe and dealing with like how to reveal himself
49:59
to her, you know, and profess his love with.
50:01
He ends up having to essentially portray a fictional man in these
50:05
off time from being dressed up as a fake woman.
50:07
The other guy is just being relentlessly hit on by this old
50:10
man and wants nothing to do with it.
50:12
It's it's Jack Lemmon is playing this character and it's just
50:15
this old rich man trying to like make her in quotes marry him.
50:19
And at the end, in order to finally get him to stop, Jack
50:22
Lemmon rips his wig off and is like, I'm a man.
50:25
And then the guy just goes, well, nobody's perfect.
50:27
And then the movie. Yeah, I know.
50:29
I've seen that clip a bunch of times and that's what it's made
50:32
me want to watch the movie. I'm like, oh, that's great.
50:34
And I love that that's the end of the movie.
50:36
Yeah, that's the last line in the movie.
50:41
All I could say, I finally saw this movie just in 2025, I
50:44
believe. It does drag considerably in the
50:48
middle. There's a point where they reach
50:50
this hotel, which is one that you and I have been near.
50:55
It's it's a hotel on a beach in like, San Diego.
50:57
I don't know what it's actually called, but it's been used as a
50:59
filming location a lot and we've been to that beach.
51:02
So I realized while watching the movie that I'd seen that before.
51:05
And I think that once the characters reach this spot,
51:07
there's the like off and on thing with Marilyn Monroe's
51:10
character, who does give a great performance in her own right.
51:13
But the movie just like slows to a halt though.
51:15
Like the action's all done, the energy's out of the room and it
51:18
it takes like 30 minutes and devotes it to this bit with her
51:22
and the other guy. And then by the end it comes
51:25
back into it. But if they could have trimmed
51:26
down that middle bit, you'd have like a straight up like all
51:29
timer top movie and instead you have a movie that's really,
51:32
really good, but not. Flawless.
51:36
OK, OK, well, that's that's valid.
51:38
It's valid criticism. So where do we think that lands
51:41
on this all knowing list here? I believe Some Like It Hot
51:45
actually does appear on a lot of like top 100 movies ever made
51:49
type lists. I would not put it at the top of
51:52
our list right now. It is a fantastic piece of
51:56
filmmaking. It's, it's, I don't think we're
51:58
trying to write things based on like influential like, because
52:01
that would just favor certain points in history, you know?
52:05
I'm I'm picturing this just on the other side of that Hot Fuzz
52:10
dividing line. So above hot.
52:12
Fuzz. Yeah, maybe in between Hot Fuzz
52:15
and Angel Heart. I I like that like some Like a
52:19
Hot is an important movie that you should watch and is super
52:24
memorable, but it does have more obvious flaws for what it was
52:29
going for. I mean, these 80s movies in the
52:31
middle of the list right now, like they're not flawless.
52:33
They're not, they're very goofy and full of tropes, but like
52:37
they adhere to the tropes correctly and they're earnest
52:40
about it. Where Some like a Hot was going
52:42
for a thing and mostly nailed it, but did kind of lose me in
52:45
the middle. So I think above the Hot Fuzz
52:46
line it just cleared that gap. Yeah, yeah, it jumped the
52:51
Springfield Gorge. It jumped the Springfield Gorge.
52:53
There you go. OK, Frank, we've got 5 minutes
52:57
left in our scheduled time. Do you want to try to fit in one
52:59
more one more list item? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
53:03
Let's do it. Let's do it.
53:04
Spin that wheel #500 even #500 OK #502,017's Geostorm.
53:17
Geostorm sucks. What?
53:20
What is Geostorm? Geostorm.
53:24
Is a science fiction film starring Gerard Butler deep into
53:28
the part of his career where he just makes obvious trash and
53:31
gets paid for doing it. It's The premise is oddly
53:35
complicated. You start off being told that at
53:38
some point the world became engulfed, just like the regular
53:40
world became engulfed by natural disasters that was.
53:45
That was just funny, just like the regular world.
53:48
You know, not a, not a cool, interesting version of the
53:51
world, just ours that became engulfed in natural disasters.
53:55
And so the government, led by Gerard Butler, who's a science
53:58
man, built a globe spanning grid of satellites in order to
54:05
control the weather. But all of this happened before
54:07
the movie started. OK, so nothing interesting
54:11
happens in the movie. Hey, maybe something happens on
54:14
the way to building a satellite. No, nothing else.
54:18
So Gerard Butler, he's like your classic I'm a science man, but
54:22
I'm also a cool man, man. So like, he doesn't listen to
54:25
authority and he yells at people and gets fired.
54:28
Yeah. That's what men do.
54:30
That's what men do. And then when the story picks up
54:33
in the present day, it's like everything's fine, the world
54:36
works correctly, but somebody starts sabotaging the satellite
54:40
grid to 'cause these completely insane weather spikes in really
54:45
limited areas that last for a few minutes at a time.
54:48
So like there's a news report all of a sudden that in the
54:50
middle of the like desert in Iraq, a bunch of people froze to
54:55
death in like 5 seconds because this massive weather malfunction
54:59
took place. And then they cut to somebody in
55:02
Hong Kong or something and like lava erupts onto the street
55:07
because it just gets super heated or something.
55:08
So. It's kind of like a modern
55:10
disaster movie. It's sort of is, but not really
55:15
because it doesn't, it doesn't linger on any of these moments
55:19
and ends up being more of like a conspiratorial, like who's
55:22
behind this kind of story. It's like a world in peril
55:25
narrative, but it's not a traditional like disaster movie.
55:29
How do we escape a live kind of plot?
55:30
It's just how do we turn off the bad people pressing these
55:33
buttons? OK, but generally speaking you
55:40
do not love Geostorm. Geostorm is unrepentant garbage.
55:48
There is a dynamic between the two brothers in the movie
55:52
because Gerard Butler has a younger brother who's like the
55:55
more cool headed one that still works for the company that
55:59
Gerard Butler got fired from. And they try to play up their
56:02
relationship in this strange way in the middle of the movie where
56:06
Butler knows that all of their communications are being, like,
56:09
surveilled by whoever's doing this.
56:11
And so he has to talk to his brother in some weird, like,
56:13
made-up code from when they were kids.
56:16
But the code is really stupid. It's like, only listen to every
56:20
fourth word that I say. So they have this whole
56:23
conversation, but then he, like, somehow knows to play back every
56:26
fourth word. And it's just Gerard Butler
56:27
going like the government is behind this that.
56:32
Would be so hard to do in practice.
56:36
Like to actually think about like to string together a
56:40
sentence that makes sense where the fourth word of what?
56:45
Like what? How do you know when the
56:47
sentence breaks and you and you start over at 1:00 to get to the
56:50
4th? Word.
56:51
It's just every fourth word until he's done talking.
56:54
Oh my. Gosh, and he does like, write it
56:56
down first. Butler's not improvising this.
57:00
Oh, OK, I thought he was. That was how I was picturing it.
57:02
I'm like, that's impossible. I think he writes it down.
57:04
Phantom of the Opera, I don't think you can do that.
57:07
The opera. But also he's having a
57:11
conversation. So like, how did he, right?
57:14
I don't know. It's dumb.
57:15
The movie's dumb, right? It's straight to the bottom.
57:17
I'll say it Geostorm. Under 48 hours.
57:20
Under 48 hours it's just boring and stupid.
57:24
OK. Should we do one more to to
57:25
round this out and and on maybe a good one?
57:28
That would give us 10 movies for this episode, right?
57:30
Yeah. OK, yeah, let's do one more spin
57:33
all. Right spinning that wheel and it
57:37
is 719 seven 19719. OK #719 is Kingsman the golden
57:48
circle? Oh God, bottom Zero.
57:50
Hate that movie. Is this the second one?
57:57
I believe so. That movie frustrates me.
58:00
I really strongly dislike it. I'm going to put it below Geo
58:03
Storm. Straight to the bottom.
58:05
Let's do one more. All right #806 did we get like
58:13
eight O 7 earlier? I feel like we were really close
58:15
to this. No, we already got eight O 6
58:18
today that was made in black. Oh wow, this number generator
58:22
kind of sucks. Thanks.
58:24
Google, that's awesome. Do we get a free space when that
58:29
happens or do we just? Have to know, right?
58:31
Yeah. How does that work?
58:32
OK, we're going to do 932. OK.
58:36
I'm not even sorry to people that like that Kingsman movie.
58:40
It's bad. You shouldn't like it.
58:41
Change your mind. Shouldn't like it, You should
58:43
feel bad. OK, I'm all right with this one.
58:46
Number 932 alphabetically is the 1998 film Out of Sight starring
58:51
George Clooney. Oh, is this the one that's it's
58:56
the same director as the Ocean's films?
58:59
Yes, it feels like a proto Ocean's 11 movie.
59:03
Like the character's not the same, but like, it's still just
59:05
George Clooney and it kind of has a similar quality to it.
59:08
Yeah, yeah, no, that's a fine movie.
59:11
I I definitely don't have much to say about that one, but
59:15
that's kind of exactly what it is.
59:17
That that's how somebody pitched it to me.
59:18
It was actually our cousin. He was like, hey, have you seen
59:20
this? And I was like, no.
59:21
And then we threw it on and I was like, OK, cool.
59:25
That was a film. Thank you.
59:27
That's how we speak to each other.
59:29
It's very formal. Regards.
59:36
Yeah, out of sight. I definitely don't like it more
59:39
than the like original Ocean's 11, but it's a very solid crime
59:44
movie with like a comedic undertone carried by a couple of
59:48
strong performances. It's it's George Clooney
59:52
opposite Angelina Jolie. Maybe I could be?
59:58
Let's play the looking it up music.
1:00:02
Yeah, you tell me. I was wrong.
1:00:06
It's Jennifer Lopez. Jlo OK, cool.
1:00:10
I almost said that I don't know why I got those two confused in
1:00:12
my head. I was like, certainly not Jenny
1:00:14
from the block. But then it's like, no, that was
1:00:15
yeah, that was it. Let.
1:00:16
Me say she was from the block. She'd go and from out of sight.
1:00:19
They don't call her Jenny from out of sight, but they could.
1:00:21
They could, they might, they will.
1:00:26
I'm thinking out of sight, maybe in between Hercules and Big
1:00:33
Short. Does that feel appropriate?
1:00:36
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I would say The Big Short is our
1:00:39
other dividing line for like movies that are just roughly
1:00:43
good. Yeah, Yeah, that's kind of
1:00:45
that's like the gatekeeper for like you're OK, we'll let you
1:00:48
in. Like, like Hot Fuzz is like for,
1:00:51
you know, to beat Hot Fuzz, you have to be like a great movie,
1:00:54
just broadly speaking. And to beat Big Short, you have
1:00:56
to be what I would call like a good movie that is not obviously
1:01:00
dragged down by some flaw. It'll be really interesting to
1:01:04
see if anything gets below Kingsman 2.
1:01:09
That's how much I dislike that movie.
1:01:12
There's an entry on there that implies that.
1:01:13
I also saw Kingsman 2, but I have 0 memory of it.
1:01:16
I didn't even like the first one, I thought it was tacky.
1:01:19
Yeah, yeah, totally. And and that Oh my gosh.
1:01:23
Then his most recent movie to the one they did with
1:01:28
Henrikaville and I can't remember her name at the moment
1:01:32
but. Oh, oh, no, I know this one.
1:01:35
Bryce Dallas Howard. Bryce Dallas Howard, it was also
1:01:38
awful. And then the twist at the end of
1:01:40
that movie is that it's like also Loki, A Kingsman movie.
1:01:44
And I was like, get me the hell out of here.
1:01:45
Why did I do this to myself again like.
1:01:49
Fool me 3 or 4 times. Yeah, jeez Louise.
1:01:54
Yeah, so out of sight. I'm firmly in agreement that it
1:01:59
goes probably above Big Short, because Big Short's just
1:02:02
whatever. It's a serviceable movie.
1:02:04
I don't got anything too bad to say about it.
1:02:05
But it doesn't, I don't know. It doesn't land in any
1:02:08
particular spot for me. Yeah, auto site's like solid.
1:02:11
It's kind of like. Good.
1:02:13
Just yeah, good. Fine.
1:02:15
Yeah. Hercules and Porca Rosso and Out
1:02:19
of Sight are are of a similar quality to me.
1:02:21
I feel like they're all good films in specific genres that do
1:02:24
not reinvent the wheel but are just like really solid versions
1:02:28
of what they're aiming for. So maybe below Hercules though.
1:02:33
No, that's what I was thinking. Yeah, like.
1:02:35
Oh, that's what he said. OK.
1:02:36
Yeah, yeah, 'cause Hercules is Hercules is an interesting one
1:02:41
to talk about because it it, it's really good.
1:02:44
But it's like amongst its peers of like fantastic movies, you
1:02:51
know, it's really hard to compare yourself to like a Lion
1:02:55
King or Little Mermaid or Aladdin.
1:02:59
You know, those are, they're just amazing films.
1:03:01
And Hercules is really good too, but it's just not as good as
1:03:04
those ones. Absolutely, and Porca Rosa is
1:03:06
that but for Studio Ghibli where like in a bubble, fantastic, but
1:03:11
in one complete exhaustive list of every movie ever made ranked
1:03:14
from best to worst, it just obviously has to go below the
1:03:17
other movies from that same series that are clearly doing
1:03:21
that but better. Yeah, yeah, totally.
1:03:25
Yeah, I feel, I feel pretty good about what we what we added to
1:03:28
this list today. We had much better luck.
1:03:30
Our first episode was a disaster.
1:03:32
It was movies that. I liked it too.
1:03:34
I, I, yeah, yeah, It was fun. We got off to a rocky star, but
1:03:38
that was that was engaging. For me, very entertaining
1:03:40
conversation, but today was more like just doing the work.
1:03:44
Actually had to kind of like parse some difficult rankings.
1:03:47
But you know, there's a reason why we were elected to do this
1:03:51
job. Yeah, yeah, somebody had to do
1:03:54
it. Cash money.
1:03:56
Yeah, what? We're not getting paid for this.
1:04:01
Oh, somebody. Once we're done.
1:04:04
Once we're done, somebody. Surely will.
1:04:06
Ask for this in exchange for money.
1:04:09
And we will ransom it for at least a few dollars.
1:04:14
Something some amount of cents and and monies.
1:04:20
All right, well, that's going to do it.
1:04:21
Frank. Thanks for sitting down with me
1:04:22
again. That's episode 2 ranking every
1:04:24
movie ever made. Our list is now the top 21
1:04:27
movies, but obviously we've got thousands more to go.
1:04:30
So join us next time and join us in two weeks when we are back
1:04:34
with our regular Meet Your Double feature programming, our
1:04:36
in depth blind movie review show.
1:04:40
Stay tuned to either one. Follow us on social media at
1:04:42
Meet Your Double Feature. Frank, anything specific to plug
1:04:45
or are we good? Hey editor Thomas here with a
1:04:48
quick clarification. Frank is about to start plugging
1:04:51
his feature film Nate and Mariah in Venice, which he Co produced
1:04:54
and was the cinematographer for. But at the time of this
1:04:57
recording the film was not yet available to stream, whereas now
1:05:00
it is. You can rent or purchase the
1:05:02
film now on Amazon Prime Video by following the link in the
1:05:06
description for this episode. So if you were interested please
1:05:08
go check it out. We also did an interview
1:05:10
recently with Austin Balke, the writer director for the film, so
1:05:13
feel free to check out that as well.
1:05:15
Just wanted to add that clarification.
1:05:17
Now back to whatever we were saying.
1:05:20
Nate Ryan Venice is, you know, on this list.
1:05:26
It it'll definitely find its way onto this list at some point,
1:05:29
so. And it might go suspiciously
1:05:30
high up the list. Suspiciously high.
1:05:32
I wonder why number? One, no.
1:05:35
I mean, it's not better than men in black.
1:05:39
I'll tell you right now how you're supposed to beat up men
1:05:41
in black. Something Men in Black is really
1:05:44
good, but it's it's not the best movie ever made.
1:05:46
So something will, I mean, we knock, we knocked the tech of
1:05:49
the clones down to spaces today, which I didn't think that was
1:05:51
possible, but we did. That's true.
1:05:53
I thought that was going to be there till the end of time.
1:05:56
You're right. Yeah.
1:05:57
So, all right, anything can happen.
1:06:00
It's a dangerous list out there. But we're going to release it,
1:06:04
the whole thing. The whole thing because people
1:06:07
need to see people want to see it.
1:06:08
People want to see there'll be consequences.
1:06:15
Some movies on our alphabetical list show up multiple times.
1:06:18
Actually multiple times. There'd be a lot on there.
1:06:22
It's. Like if we're trying to find one
1:06:24
movie, you'd be like, wow, it really shows up a lot.
1:06:27
Just kind of parse through all these other it's the same thing
1:06:29
over and over again on here. All right, that's gonna do it.
1:06:33
Thank you so much for listening. And we will see you next time on
1:06:36
Meet Your Double Feature.