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Why A Self Aware Narcissist Is Still a Narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So a self aware narcissist is still a narcissist.
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  Y'all we're going self aware or not, narcissist will almost
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  always be narcissist right? And that's coming from a
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  diagnosed narcissist. If you new here, my name is Lee
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  Hammock and I am a diagnosed narcissist myself and I'm here
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  to tell you that just because a narcissist become self aware or
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  just because the term self aware narcissist or diagnosed
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  narcissist exist does not mean that that person stops being a
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  narcissist. I actually saw, I don't know if
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  it's a video. I actually saw a title maybe,
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  maybe it might have been my Sam Vacknon.
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  It might be a video titled by Sam Vacknon called a self aware
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  narcissist. It's still a narcissist.
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  And the reason I'm making this video is because I get a lot of
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  comments in my comment section. It's just everywhere from people
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  that just ask me, Lee, how can I make my narcissistic partner
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  self aware? Can you help me make my dad self
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  aware or my mom self aware of whoever it is?
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  Can you help me make my wife self aware of who she is, what
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  she has going on? And I tell people just because
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  they become self aware does not mean that they're going to stop
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  self aware. Narcissist does not mean hey,
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  I'm aware of it so it goes away. No, that's not how it works
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  y'all. That is absolutely not how it
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  works. A self aware narcissist is still
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  absolutely 100% a narcissist. And I know that might blow
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  people's minds when I say it like that, when I just kind of
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  dig down to the the nitty gritty and whatnot.
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  But that this, it's just the truth.
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  A self aware narcissist still possesses every single quality
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  that they did before they became self aware.
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  I told people that self aware just means I know.
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  I know that I'm a narcissist, I know that I messed up.
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  I know that I might be a bad person here and there.
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  I know, I know, I know. That's all self aware means
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  because at the end of the day you can have somebody that's
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  highly self aware and still evil as hell.
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  The self-awareness is not a pill.
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  You take that it like you take take one of these with some
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  water, wash it down with some water.
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  It's a dissolvable right? It's not a dissolvable thing.
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  Self aware literally just means I know who I am, I know what I
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  have going on, I know what the I, I know what the process is
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  and what not. I absolutely get it.
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  I know I'm here for it. That's what self aware means.
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  But so many people just conflated 'cause they see me,
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  the self aware, one of these self aware narcissists online
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  and I've been in therapy for eight years.
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  They see me as a self aware narcissist trying to help
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  people. Doing my one-on-one coaching
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  created my courses to help people understand narcissistic
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  abuse in the mind of a narcissist, right?
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  All of those are at mentalillness.net.
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  Somebody on the screen and so you see me creating all of this
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  stuff. So you think that it's just the
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  self-awareness to help me get to this point.
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  It's not, It's not. It really is the therapy plus
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  the self-awareness because in order for a narcissist to change
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  or get better, not only do they have to be self aware, but they
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  also need to be put to put in the work to change their
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  behaviors. Just because you know it
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  behavior exists doesn't mean you're going to stop it.
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  Oh, I'm self aware of my, I'm self aware that I'm a cheater.
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  But guess what? I'm not going to stop cheating.
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  I'm self aware that I'm self aware of how my actions affect
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  my environment or the people around me.
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  But guess what? I'm not going to stop those
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  actions because those actions serve me.
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  Why would I stop doing something that serves me?
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  That's really what a lot of narcissists ask themselves right
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  here. Why would I stop doing something
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  that I get something from? Why would I stop doing something
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  that I can directly benefit from?
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  That's what you have to. That's what you have to be weary
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  of and aware of right there, y'all?
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  Because a lot of narcissists are going to wake up and do a lot of
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  damage to people just like you're.
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  They're going to trick you into thinking that just because they
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  went and sought help that they are somehow magically a better
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  person. No, no, no.
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  Yeah, absolutely. The hell not.
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  Just because they have awakened up to their toxic behaviors does
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  not mean that they're going to be a better person for you or
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  anybody else around you, You know, and I did.
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  I just looked it up. Y'all.
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  It is Sam. Sam Vagnon does have AI.
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  Think it's a video that says Vagnon talks self aware
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  narcissist. Still a narcissist.
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  It says the narcissist does not internalize what they understand
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  about the disorder. Sometimes when the narcissist
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  first learn. OK, yeah, y'all can look it up.
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  It says vac and then talks. But he's got he goes into detail
• 4:53
  about how self-awareness does not make you stop being a
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  narcissist. Yes, y'all, even me, even Lee
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  Hammock mental illness like I've been self.
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  I told you if y'all know my story, I've been self aware for
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  a very long time but I recently just started changing my
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  behaviors. If you hear my story, I've been
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  aware of my behaviors and how I was different since I was like 8
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  or 9 years old. But it wasn't until recently
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  when I actually started changing those behaviors.
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  You know, I'm saying when I actually started working on
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  myself, when I actually started going to therapy, I'm 40 years
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  old. Y'all think about it, I'm 40
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  years old. I've been in therapy for eight
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  years. So I had 32 years of being of
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  knowing that something was going on but not doing anything about
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  it. So I was self aware of what I
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  had going on for a very long time, but it didn't mean
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  anything changed for anybody around me in my life.
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  Everybody was still getting their their horrible version of
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  me. Everybody was still getting the,
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  the, the toxicity, everybody was still getting the emotional
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  abuse. You see, literally everybody was
• 6:00
  still getting there. And there's so many people out
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  there that yeah, there are a lot of self aware narcissists out
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  there, but that doesn't mean that they're going to be a good
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  person or a better person. Some narcissists, when they
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  become self aware, they think that you should take whatever
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  they dish out. Hey, I'm self aware.
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  Hey, I'm a narcissist. What should you what?
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  What? Why you expect me to change?
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  Hey, I went to therapy. Hey, I'm a self aware narcissist
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  now. But nowhere does it say that I'm
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  going to be a better person. Just because I'm a self aware
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  narcissist does not mean that I'm going to be a better person.
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  Sometimes self-awareness just makes me angry because now I
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  know that something's going on with me, so I'm going to take it
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  out on everybody else. Everybody around me is going to
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  get punished for what's going on inside of my head.
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  Everybody around me is going to get the brunt in the tail end of
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  my toxicity because now I'm angry.
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  Now I know what's going on. I can't get rid of it.
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  It doesn't go away. Even like I said, when I just
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  first discovered narcissistic person, I had the disorder,
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  right? I looked it up and there was no,
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  I saw, I said no cure. There's no cure for narcissistic
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  person. I was like, damn, So what I'm
• 7:08
  about to do? There's no cure for this.
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  I got to walk around like this for the rest of my life.
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  What the hell? What am I supposed to do with
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  this? And that right there is, yeah,
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  I'm being real. That is a draining.
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  It could be a draining, debilitating thing to face right
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  there where you have to think about it from that perspective
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  right there. Like seriously, it can be such a
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  drain when you have to deal with in that situation like
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  narcissistic people. Like when you find out that
• 7:34
  there's no cure and you can't get rid of it, they can send you
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  into a spiral of the of depression, self blame and then
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  just a being aggressive. Like it really can.
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  So a self aware narcissist is still a narcissist.
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  And I know y'all heard diagnosed narcissist.
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  A diagnosed narcissist is in fact a self aware narcissist.
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  And that doesn't mean that they're going to get better.
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  I know people hear the term self aware narcissist is what I saw
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  this too. They think it's an oxymoron.
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  Like narcissists cannot be self aware.
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  Like they can't know narcissists never acknowledge what's going
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  on with them. They don't know that they're
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  narcissists. And then I ask people I like,
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  why does the diagnosis exist then?
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  If narcissists can't be self aware, why does the diagnosis
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  exist? The the the diagnosis exists for
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  a reason. Narcissist can absolutely be
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  absolutely be self aware, but self-awareness doesn't mean they
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  want to change their behavior. self-awareness sometimes just
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  means I'm going to keep doing this because I feel like I don't
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  have a choice. I'm a narcissist, what more do
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  you think I should be doing? I'm a narcissist, what more
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  should you expect of me? I'm a narcissist and if you
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  sometimes self-awareness becomes an excuse, I'm a narcissist.
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  You know you and if you do, some people will be real with you.
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  I'm a self aware narcissist, so if you choose to be with me, if
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  you choose to deal with me, then guess what that means?
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  That means that you are signing up for this relationship if you
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  choose to be with me, that you know what you're in for.
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  Don't act surprised when you, after you, after this choice you
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  made, come back to bite you in the ass because I told you I was
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  a narcissist. You knew that I was a
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  narcissist. We both understand that I'm a
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  narcissist. And now, because we're here at
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  this point, at this inflection point, now you're going to get
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  angry. Now you're going to be mad as
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  hell. You see how that goes right
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  there? This is how the mind of a lot of
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  narcissist works right here, because it gets down when you
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  get down to the nitty gritty of it.
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  And this is how we're going to is going to go.
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  Some of them use their their diagnosis as an excuse to treat
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  other people worse. It just becomes an excuse.
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  It just be like well I'm a narcissist what more did you
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  expect? I'm a narcissist why you
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  expecting me to change? I'm a narcissist.
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  This is your fault. They're going to blame you for
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  everything. It doesn't mean they're going to
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  change y'all. That's why I just don't like
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  just because they become self aware, just because they said
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  they going to therapy it does not mean that they're going to
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  change their behaviors. It's self-awareness plus work
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  equals the possibility of change behavior.
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  You can't just be I'm self aware I'm better.
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  No it does not work that way y'all.
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  I wish it worked that way. It is absolutely, absolutely
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  does not work the way I'm a self award narcissist.
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  That means I'm I'm the best person.
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  I'm the best the best there is No, hell no, that's absolutely
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  not what that means right there. Being self aware is just the
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  first step. I promise you the first step on
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  the journey is self-awareness, but it's not the last step.
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  It's not the final step. There are still some self award
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  narcissist out there. There is not going to be good
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  people at the end of the day. They will still pass judgment,
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  they will still blame others and they will still will have a lack
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  of empathy the the likes you've never seen before.
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  So you have to in order when you're dealing with a
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  narcissist, make sure that you're protecting yourself self
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  aware or not right? I just want my narcissist to be
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  self aware, which I understand, but that doesn't mean they're
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  going to change self-awareness. Is it?
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  self-awareness is not even opening the door.
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  It's like self-awareness is like on the doorstep.
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  You're not even in the House of you're not even in the House of
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  getting better yet You, you invited in the doors on the on
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  the porch to get out of the rain.
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  You're not invited in the house just yet though.
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  Anyway, y'all think of rocking me to the end of this video?
• 11:10
  Hit and subscribe, but if you haven't already, click one of
• 11:12
  these things on the screen right here to watch another video and
• 11:16
  mental illness.net everything about peace.