Latest / Reality TV Cringe / 159: Vanderpump Rules. Reunion Part 1 / The Valley - The Big Bear Bombshell

Transcript

159: Vanderpump Rules. Reunion Part 1 / The Valley - The Big Bear Bombshell · Reality TV Cringe

0:10
Hello, and welcome to Reality TV Cringe. I am one of your hosts,
0:15
Delia here with my Real Day Homegirl and my daughter in law, the
0:19
beautiful Bedron. Hi, everybody, we are gathered here today to talk Vanderpump
0:26
Rules and also the Valley. Yes, we're doing it all in one episode
0:31
because actually there wasn't a whole lot going on with that VPR reunion. No,
0:35
ma'am. We're going to cover like our major takeaways for that and then
0:38
we're going to get right into the Valley. Now, before we do all
0:42
of that, we have to remind you please had your wife and had your
0:46
kids. This is a politically in correct podcast. We have bad takes,
0:52
we say bad words, we're bad people. Yeah, and so if you're
0:56
a pleas for health, you might want to find yourself another up the baby.
1:00
But if you're down and you're ready to party, welcome to this one.
1:04
Yeah. And if you are down and ready to party, you better
1:08
be following us on Instagram at Reality tv Crunch and join us at Patreon,
1:12
Patreon dot com, sosh reality TV Crinch. That's where the real parties at.
1:17
Okay, that's right, And if you are watching on YouTube, first
1:19
and foremost, Hello, you look lovely today. I'm attracted, Yeah,
1:23
I'm attracted to these so attractive. Please do not forget to like and comment
1:29
and share and subscribe, because every single thing you do helps us to grow
1:34
the dumpster And we're trying to get big out here. I mean not fat.
1:37
I'm already fat, yeah, sat very fat. Wow, but we're
1:41
trying to get famous. You don't forget to do all the social things.
1:45
Think you in and we thank you. All right, let's start with vpr
1:49
Okay Reunion Part one. Yeah, did you have any major takeaways, any
1:55
like overarching thoughts that you'd like to share with these raccoons. I mean,
2:00
I'm just kind of I was bored. I mean it was entertaining a little
2:02
bit. There was some little tidbits here and there. The end was interesting
2:07
with Wala and Katie, but I'm just like, can I get more?
2:10
Last year's three part reunion was fucking lit. Yeah, every single one was
2:16
so good and so charged with energy, and so it just feels like everybody's
2:21
so over it, Like everybody's just over the show. Everybody's over all these
2:23
people, especially sand of All. That was my major takeaway pretty much.
2:28
Yeah, it was kind of mirroring the entire season though, which was pretty
2:31
boring unfortunately, so it was kind of giving what we are to got.
2:36
Yeah, my major takeaway, by the way, we have our great Dane
2:38
sunshine in the room. She might pop her head up and say hi to
2:42
you. But my major takeaway is like, Wow, I hate la La
2:46
Right. I don't know why she feels the need to respond every time a
2:53
question is asked of somebody else. Yeah, Like Andy will ask a question
2:57
to for example, Tom Schwartz, Schwartz will give his answer, and then
3:00
Laala has to give an answer on the other side of the isle, and
3:05
like, literally nobody is asking you for real, your opinion is not necessary
3:09
in every conversation. The main character syndrome was so annoying. I had a
3:16
hard time watching Oh yeah, her calling herself a truth teller. I'm my
3:21
bitch, Please shut up miss me with that. I don't want to hear
3:27
that from her. She acts like she's got this fucking she's the one with
3:30
the god complex. She's projecting it onto Ariana. But you're the one with
3:32
the god complex, right, acting like you're so put together, acting like
3:36
you're the only one who's the voice of reason in this group when you're not
3:39
like chill out sit a really good point. I was watching a clip from
3:45
The Vile Files, which is Nick Files podcast, and he was actually talking
3:50
about Sheena, Lala, and Arianna, and he's said it way better than
3:54
I'm about to say it. But apparently what he's thinking is that and Sheena
4:00
are so butt hurt right now because they spent the entire season really trying to
4:05
emerge as one of the front runner women and like to finally get the number
4:11
one girl in the group kind of action. And they tried so hard,
4:15
and we saw Laala producing segments, producing moments, producing encounters, but they
4:20
never quite achieved number one girl in the group. But here's Ariana, who
4:26
doesn't even want to fucking be there. She doesn't even want to try.
4:30
She's literally just fulfilling her contractual obligations by showing up to film. Would rather
4:35
not thank you. And she's the number one girl in the group, so
4:40
it's effortless. She doesn't have to try, And as hard as those two
4:45
try, they're never going to be her, and that's why they're so mad.
4:48
That's such a good point. And I've actually seen like Lala and Sheena
4:51
kind of talk about this on Instagram a little bit, like in the comments
4:55
and everything. They're like, oh, this whole like we're jealous narrative.
4:58
It's such bullshit. We're not jealous, we're not bitter. You guys don't
5:01
know what you're talking about. It's like your behavior shows it plain as day.
5:06
Because you're not the main girls, nobody gives a shit about you.
5:10
Like Sheena and Brock's sections on this reunion, I'm like, I do not
5:14
care. Are we talking about your intrusive thoughts again? I mean, I
5:17
realized that's a real issue for you and your mental health. I mean,
5:20
but we've talked about it. I don't get death. And then we've got
5:24
to hear your big ass, dumb ass, corny ass husband talk about Australia
5:29
again and the kids that he abandoned right because he hit their mom. Like,
5:32
why are we talking about this again? You've gotten nothing, literally nothing,
5:38
except for how you betrayed Ariana, oh for sure, and even with
5:41
Laala's story of her getting pregnant, like the congrats, But I don't care,
5:46
Like we don't need to hear. We don't need to hear about your
5:47
sperm donor we don't need to see the flashbacks to your sperm donor party,
5:50
Like, let's just get to the meat of the issue. I really hate
5:54
all of the flashbacks, Like we were all there during the season, we
5:59
saw this all red, and you've already flashed back to it four or five
6:01
times and we got a flashback again. It's just filler. And that's because
6:06
to your point, it's fucking boring. Yeah, and it's not giving anything.
6:11
I wonder if they're going to cancel it. I wonder if this is
6:13
gonna be like the final season or something, or if they're just going to
6:15
do a new cast or Ariana is not going to be on next season.
6:17
But I'm like, what else are you gonna give us unless we get another
6:23
scandaal you know what I mean? Yeah, I don't know. I honestly
6:26
felt that production did the final episode the way that they did at the end,
6:30
with the montage of the entire cast from when they were young, et
6:34
cetera, as a kind of threat, like if y'all don't get your shit
6:40
together and if you don't bring it, we are not coming back. Ooh.
6:44
And I honestly don't think they should, because what we have now is
6:47
like a corporatized, totally overly produced reality television show that's not real. No,
6:55
and we have La La preaching to us with her hypocrisy, and I'm
7:00
over it. Oh my god, let's get into the lava on Katie think
7:01
because I was like, what the fuck is going on here? She's like
7:05
immediately going off on Katie for I guess lying on camera and saying like,
7:12
I guess Lala's mad at Katie because Katie was talking shit to her about Ariana
7:17
but then acting like her bff on cameras. That what it was. That's
7:20
what I gathered from. That's what it sounds like. So it feels like
7:24
there was a time in Katie and Ariana's relationship where Ariana was jet setting.
7:30
She's off to New York. She's got her brand deal, she's got Dancing
7:32
with the Stars, she's booked and busy. But at the same time they
7:38
are trying to open something about her. They're trying to open this sandwich shop,
7:41
which leaves Katie left behind to take care of that day to day stuff.
7:46
And so it sounds like at some point Katie goes to La La and
7:49
she vents about it, and she says in the segment like, well,
7:54
yeah, I talked to you because I thought you were a safe space for
7:59
me to vent. And I didn't want to bring this drama to Ariana because
8:01
she's already going through so much. I mean, first scandaval and now she's
8:05
so busy, Like I know she doesn't want to hear me vent, but
8:09
I was worried and there were things that were going on, and Lalla is
8:13
trying to and it feels very planned to me, like she was just holding
8:16
this in her back pocket and now is going to weaponize Katie having an authentic
8:22
friend moment with Lalla against her to try and alienate her away from Ariana,
8:28
which I think is ultimately what Laala really wants to do is to isolate Ariana.
8:31
Wow, she doesn't want aria come, Ariana to come back because she's
8:35
the number one girl in the group. I mean, that would make sense.
8:37
But I also kind of got the sense from Katie and like maybe she
8:39
was lying, Like maybe she was talking some shit, maybe she got called
8:43
out by Lala. Well did she lie though she seemed she definitely seemed shook,
8:50
yeah, and like she probably said something, and I think her first
8:56
impulse was to deny or to be like, what are you talking about?
8:58
I have no idea, But then she kind of regrouped and said, well,
9:01
yeah, there were some things I said, but this is why.
9:03
Yeah. And by the way, she released a statement, oh on Instagram
9:07
live, not live, actually on her stories, and I have it and
9:11
I would like to read this now. This is the statement that she gave
9:15
in response to all this shit that Lala said. She says the following.
9:20
I'm someone who has suffered from imposterous syndrome for as long as I have known
9:24
myself. Hence why I was apprehensive about opening the sandwich shop on my own.
9:30
So when Ariana was going through not only a world of hurt, but
9:33
also getting some amazing opportunities that changed a lot of things during a pivotal time,
9:37
I was extremely sensitive to what she was going through, but also very
9:43
supportive. I was also dealing with immense insecurity about what I could take on
9:46
and simply didn't want to put that on her. I had an emotional response
9:50
that didn't feel appropriate bringing to her front door. So I went to where
9:54
I felt safe or where I thought was safe, until I could find the
10:00
propriate conversation to have with Ariana, which by the way. Of course we
10:03
did, and we have had plenty since. See that makes sense to me
10:07
because if you're in a group of friends, like yeah, you need somebody
10:11
to kind of off gas all of your shit and then out too and be
10:13
like I don't know what the fuck to do and I'm freaking out about this
10:16
business and Arian is in freaking Broadway? What am I doing? So that
10:20
makes sense? So fuck Lala? Then yeah, fuck Lala. But then
10:24
there was also something about Katie threatening her work. Yeah, like Katie telling
10:30
Laala, if you're gonna come for me and my job, which is something
10:33
about her, then I'm gonna come for your work. Yeah, don't ask
10:37
bitch or something. And I'm not sure how it got to that point.
10:41
Apparently they were both on a call with production and they were being interviewed about
10:46
I think the season or an episode, and that's kind of the onus for
10:50
the conversation. But I don't understand what Katie did at what time to threaten
10:56
Lalla or vice versa. Well, because like Lala was saying, this was
10:58
all through too, so she was saying it on the slot and I'm like,
11:01
okay, but what's the context though, or was this like a while
11:07
ago. It's like when you guys were fighting at the Girls' night, Like,
11:11
what's going on? It just seemed really uncool because I'm like, if
11:13
Lala's claiming that her and Katie are in this good place and that they've been
11:18
working on the relationship, why are you dragging all this stuff out? You're
11:20
doing it on purpose? Reviews Yes, And I also think she has an
11:24
agenda against Ariana. I don't think she wants Ariana to come back. I
11:28
think she's looking for a reason to put Katie on Front Street and to embarrass
11:33
her. And I feel like Laala probably thinks she's doing her job and she's
11:37
making good television, but she's truly just proving that she's a friend to none
11:41
of these people. Yeah, and she'll do pretty much anything to throw you
11:45
under the bus if it allows her to leverage her position in the group.
11:48
She's gross, She's high key gross, oh totally and fake as fuck.
11:54
Well, And I thought it was also interesting that earlier in the reunion,
11:56
Arianna had mentioned that she hadn't seen seasonal one at this point, So then
12:01
in the after shows, then, so she's seeing what Lala has been doing
12:05
all season behind her back. On top of what she's doing at the reunion.
12:09
So I'm like, oh God, can we talk about that a little
12:11
bit. What did you think about Ariana admitting that she hadn't watched any of
12:16
the episodes from the season. I thought that was kind of crazy, But
12:20
I'm like, I wouldn't have watched it either, But it's her job.
12:22
I mean Andy kind of looked at her sideways. Yeah, I mean it
12:26
is her job to kind of know what's happening in the season, what people
12:28
are saying. It's probably her job to have that information before she gets to
12:33
the reunion so she can kind of cogently respond to what's been going on.
12:37
But she can't do that if she didn't watch it. Like I can understand
12:41
having been so heavily traumatized and betrayed and like not wanting to go back through
12:46
the records and see people regurgitating their bullshit about it. But at the same
12:50
time, this is what you do. This is really what you do.
12:54
And again Andy looked disappointed. Some of the other cast members were like,
12:58
well, of course, because you're privileged, you know, you're entitled.
13:01
Why would you think that you have to actually do your job. That was
13:05
the vibe I got from how they were looking at her. See, I
13:07
guess I'm coming from the perspective of like, not a business. I'm just
13:09
like, well, she is a human, So yeah, I wouldn't want
13:13
to watch that shit either, because fuck that. But I see your point.
13:16
It is her job. It's kind of like all season her bitching about
13:18
how she doesn't want to be around Tom Sandoval. But it's like, it's
13:22
your contract though, right, and you knew you were gonna have to film
13:26
season eleven and you knew he was going to be in the group, Like,
13:28
you can't really dictate all of it because you're hot shit, So I
13:31
get I see both sides of it. But yeah, I thought it was
13:35
interesting that she mentioned that. But then on the after show she's watching it
13:39
of course and seeing it or hearing about it from the producer. I'm not
13:41
even sure if in the after show she has seen the episodes. I think
13:45
she's being fed questions with context from the producer in the momento. So I
13:50
think this further kind of supports this idea that Ariana's fucking over it. Yeah,
13:56
that vander Pump Rules needs her way more than she needs Underpump Rules,
14:01
But we have to remember that she Ariana is actually a really, really hard
14:05
worker. She's got a strong work ethic. And if you recall at the
14:09
Astrology party, she's the one who told us that at the time of Scandabal
14:13
she only had two thousand doll hairs in her bank account. She had no
14:18
money, she was almost broke. And so that if I'm Arianna, I'm
14:24
thinking about that right like, Okay, well, I want to keep VPR
14:28
because that's how I put my face in front of everybody once a week for
14:31
half a year, and that's how I get these brand deals that are so
14:35
lucrative right now, like I would be thinking a little bit more long term
14:39
about it. But maybe she feels she doesn't need it. Yeah, maybe
14:41
she's like, I'm on Broadway, bitch. That's kind of my vibe with
14:45
it. I don't care on Broadway. Why do I need to sit here
14:48
with these losers. Yeah, I don't think she cares. I think she
14:52
really does. Think like, I've got all this other shit. I got
14:54
DSW, i got Broadway, I got all this other shit. I don't
14:58
need something about her. I don't need VPR and all these dummies. But
15:01
you said something about her and so that's curious to me, Like it I
15:05
kind of I believe Katie and this kind of sub context that we're talking about
15:11
when she's getting mifft annoyed and maybe even worried because Ariana is not showing up
15:16
the way she should be, which by the way, Tom Sandoval did to
15:18
Tom Schwartz as well for shorts, and Sandy's like, I feel for Katie
15:24
being worried. Like, Okay, Ariana, we both agree to this.
15:26
I've sunk multiple hundreds of thousands of dollars into this sandwich shop and you're behind
15:31
on your rent allegedly, which is what Lala said Katie had said, and
15:35
you're not here to take care of business, yeah, which LVP Lisa Vanner
15:41
Pump kind of alludes to as well, Like it's not just a disagree it's
15:43
not just codes and stuff like that. There's other kinds of issues that are
15:48
happening here. And I think what Lisa Vanderpump wants to say is it's Ariana.
15:52
M That's what I was kind of thinking too, because when she called
15:56
them out for something about her, Like Katie of course is still trying to
16:00
defend Ariana and defend the whole business and be like, no, it's the
16:03
red tape. No, it's like really difficult, Lisa, you understand.
16:06
And Lisa's like, no, it doesn't take a year to have to go
16:10
through all the code shit. I kind of think it does, though,
16:12
any Los Angeles, California. I don't know if Lisa vander Pumps opened all
16:17
these businesses and stuff. I think she kind of probably knows what she's talking
16:19
about, like yeah, I can help you, or like we can figure
16:22
it out, but like you're not taking the effort or making the effort to
16:26
do that. You're just using this as an excuse to delay opening, right,
16:30
she comes, Ariana, you can just go jet set around the country
16:34
and do all your Hollywood things, right, I don't know. I mean
16:37
I want Ariana to avail herself of all of the opportunities. I mean just
16:41
maybe the only time in her life that she has all of these, and
16:44
so she should say yes to every single goddamn one. Right, But I
16:48
worry about Katie, and Lala says in the after show like I wouldn't want
16:52
to be in the situation in business with Arianna right now? Absolutely not yike,
16:57
so very very nuanced, an interesting situation, but back to Laala because
17:03
he's bitch, irritated me the whole lot. When she's having the conversation which
17:07
she inserts herself into again with Tom Sandoval, when Tom Sandoval is banging on
17:14
about Raquel and how she's coward. Yeah, all of these things, and
17:19
then we get to the subject of him being a groomer. Now is that
17:23
because I forgot how it was introduced into the reunion. I don't know if
17:27
Lala brought it up or if they're talking about Raquel on her podcast calling it
17:32
grooming. Yes, Sandoval brings it up that Raquel said on her podcast that
17:37
he groomed her, and he's like, that's totally bullshit because that alludes to
17:41
pedophilia. And then Lala was like, no, actually it doesn't. And
17:45
I'm like, girl, it literally and objectively concerns child s a. Yeah,
17:53
you really can't groom a twenty year twenty eight year old woman right now,
17:59
there's apps the truth that we could talk about with like power differentials and
18:03
having you know, an older, more accomplished, more powerful man in the
18:07
group. Like, yes, that's true, Like we can have those,
18:10
but that ain't grooming. No, And you sound so stupid that you wouldn't
18:14
have even looked up on Wikipedia the actual fucking definition of grooming. And you're
18:18
going so hard and you're arguing, because is that all you came here to
18:21
do, La Law is just argue and yell and insert yourself into all these
18:26
various conversations and topics. You're so irritating. I know. I think she's
18:30
like trying to live up to Season ten reunion La La, where she was
18:37
on point. She was calling standabal out for being a piece of shit,
18:40
she was calling Raquelau like she was on fire and crazy. But it's like,
18:45
girl, you can't bring that same energy to this when you're acting like
18:48
a fool, like a total and you're wrong, You're totally wrong, like
18:52
you didn't even research it ahead of time, and you're standing ten toes down
18:56
and you are so wrong. You look stupid. She did, she did
19:02
unregulated emotionally. You don't know how to shut the fuck up. You don't
19:04
know how to fucking decelerate, you don't know how to lower your voice and
19:08
have an adult conversation. I'm actually worried a little bit that you're bringing all
19:11
these kids into the world right when you pop off like this and you're doing
19:15
it a national television and you seem to be really proud because, like on
19:18
your Amazon Lives and on your podcast, you say, I'm not regretting anything
19:23
I did this season, and I don't regret anything I said during the reunion.
19:27
I don't regret my behavior. She's a full on malignant narcissist in my
19:33
opinion, Yeah, totally, And the fact that she thinks she's right is
19:37
really crazy. And I'm like, okay, girl, you're digging yourself a
19:40
slow grave, honestly because you think your business is gonna be fine after that.
19:44
Girl, No it ain't. Katie doesn't have to do anything to destroy
19:48
your business right now because you're doing it for yourself. That's exactly right.
19:51
And I know you're thinking you can just hop on over to the Valley,
19:55
girl, But according to Jax Taylor, who made some sort of a statement
20:00
to depress, he's like, we don't want any of those clowns, those
20:03
VPR losers over here on the valley. Amazing, which is funny because they
20:07
are such a shit show on the valley. But he's like, we don't
20:11
want any of them, and again that is because I do believe they are
20:14
so pre produced. Yeah, they are so practiced, they are so self
20:18
aware in terms of their reality TV stardom that it would just fuck up the
20:22
entire thing totally. And he's like, and I don't want any of that.
20:26
I say no, to which I'm like, you don't have the It's
20:29
kind of like the authority you have in your bar that you don't own,
20:33
that you don't invest in, Like you really don't have the authority to say
20:36
no. But I agree. Oh, I agree too. We don't need
20:37
them. I don't see any of them on the valley. No, thank
20:41
you. Now back to Sandoval, speaking of malignant narcissists, we do have
20:47
to touch upon him trying to comment and defuse his statements made to The New
20:52
York Times comparing Scandabal and the zeitgeist and the sensation of it all with oh,
20:59
Jason and George Floyd. Yeah, and I think Andy and Lisa,
21:03
for whatever fucking reason, really wanted to give him the platform to try and
21:08
get himself out of that bind, because I think when they're when they're filming
21:14
this reunion, it was pretty recent that he said something like that. I
21:18
actually don't know the timeline, but I think it's fresh in everybody's mind,
21:21
yep. And so what did you think about Tom's excuse? He's like,
21:23
I'm not well, let me. I always ask you a question, then
21:26
I answer it. So what do you think? Well, I mean,
21:29
he's saying like, I'm not the smartest guy, Like I was trying to
21:32
explain it in a different way, and it got misconstrued and everybody just read
21:37
the headlined it didn't actually read the article. Blah blah blah. And then
21:40
Brock comes to his defense and I'm like, oh my god, all of
21:42
you shut up. Why is he sitting there? I know why they need
21:45
you. But then LVP and Andy Cohen trying to give him the benefit of
21:51
doubt, being like, well, you were trying to explain even La La,
21:53
You were trying to explain it in the context of, like why was
21:56
my cheating scandal in the news with everything else that was big going on,
22:02
like George Floyd and Ojason, which wasn't going on at the time. That
22:06
was exactly like then he compared it to create war and every like, why
22:11
am I are these headlines up there with all of this, which is a
22:15
fair point, I guess, I mean, but the way that you articulated
22:21
that was super disrespectful. And this is where Katie comes in and talks about
22:25
the difference between intention and impact, Like you could have had a totally benign
22:30
intention that doesn't negate the fact that the impact was wild, right. And
22:34
also, I think it's kind of stupid that he's even making this point,
22:37
Like what is it such a big deal. You're on a reality show and
22:41
celebrity gossip and celebrity scandals always blow up in the media, like literally always,
22:48
And you're also a narc who wants to be famous. You just didn't
22:52
want to be famous for something bad that you were responsible for, right,
22:55
Like that's the problem. And so now you're throwing a bitch fit because every
23:00
he's talking about it and making you feel like a fool, because you are
23:03
a fool, and you were dumb and you made a dumb mistake. And
23:07
now you're crying over it, Like I don't feel bad for you. And
23:08
now you're trying to like backpedal this dumb comment you made in the New York
23:12
Times, when I'm like, just don't up to it. I mean,
23:15
do what Arianna is doing and get some training in pr like you how to
23:18
speak, Like I'm sure Ariana is still filled with venom and vitriol, but
23:23
you don't catch her in any of these interviews being anything but gracious and kind
23:30
and to the extent that she's pissed at Tom shouldn't talk about him. She
23:33
doesn't mentioned him, And when she's asked hard questions, she's so fucking diplomatic.
23:37
I wish she'd be more raw, but she knows how to do it.
23:38
Tom Sandoval, though, thinks he's right all the time. Yeap has
23:41
all of the riz and he'll know how to conduct himself in these various situations.
23:47
Well, heads up, you don't you look stupid and you look dumb,
23:49
and that green blazer take it off. I know, take it off.
23:52
He looks so fucking lame. Well, and even Andy Cohen tells him,
23:56
like, you should fire your PR team. But I'm like, is
23:59
it really just the team or is it Tom Sandoval talking out his ass because
24:02
he thinks that he can do it better because he's a nark. That's what
24:04
I think personally. Yeah, I feel like the PR team would have been
24:07
smart enough and been like, don't say anything, don't do the interview,
24:11
dumb, don't at all, just keep your stupid mouth shut. He can't
24:15
stop himself. He cannot help it. Well, unless it's the lawsuits that
24:19
him and Ariana did say that they can't say anything about. Although I did
24:23
kind of like this from him where he was talking about the Raquel lawsuit between
24:27
him and Ariana and he's like, yeah, I think it's pretty fucked up
24:32
that Raquel's suing Ariana for that revenge porn thing because she had nothing to do
24:36
with it, and everybody in the group came up to defend Arianna. So
24:40
I thought that was interesting, right, But I don't believe a word that
24:42
he says. Everything I hear him say is just false because they think he's
24:45
trying to pivot an angle in front of the audience. But I mean he's
24:51
right, yes, stupid. So what did you think of the commentary about
24:53
Rachel slash Raquel and everybody kind of coming out about her and the things that
24:59
they're saying she's saying about everybody and blah blah blah. I mean, well,
25:03
I thought it was kind of ballsy that Sandovel calls her a coward because
25:07
he's like, well, we both made this mistake, and I'm like,
25:11
that's honestly, like a fair point like, I don't know why Raquel's acting
25:15
like she's the one hundred percent victim, even when she was saying shit like
25:18
me and Ariana weren't friends, like we weren't close friend, like we all
25:22
know you're lying, Like, don't be like that. It just seems like
25:26
Sandoval attracts these people that are just like him, that are just as shitty
25:30
as him, and now he has to deal with the repercussions of it because
25:33
he's a forty something year old loser. But he's got a girlfriend. Now,
25:37
yeah, well she's a clout goblin who dated Leonardo DiCaprio. DiCaprio.
25:41
I'm like, okay, yeah, and he's proud of that. Oh yeah,
25:44
he thinks he's in the same league as that. I know, it's
25:45
all about his narcissis just crazy. Now, let's talk a little bit,
25:49
if you would, about the something about her situation. I mean, we
25:53
don't have to go and it's kind of boring, yeah, but I was
25:56
just noticing when they were being asked the girls, Ariana and Katie were being
26:00
asked about something about her and they were trying to answer, and then Lisa
26:03
vander Pump was inserting her commentary about Penny and about you know, it's not
26:07
just codes. I was watching Ariana very closely and Katie. It to me
26:12
looks like Arianna cannot stand Lisa Pump and even when Lisa vander Pump was talking
26:19
about Pump and how she had to close her doors after ten years, but
26:22
like, if a restaurant is open for ten years, that means it's successful,
26:26
and Ariana's like, really, like, I just wondering what's going on
26:32
there? What is there a vibe by Judge. I don't know. I'm
26:36
wondering if Lisa also was part of the problem in terms of producing herself for
26:40
the show and totally lying about everything on the show to give this like false
26:45
pretense like yeah, I'm very successful. I've got all these kids being very
26:48
famous and fucking around for a TV show. It's really great and everything,
26:52
But I'm gonna tell them what to do and be a judgmental bitch. I
26:55
don't know. I just thought that was really weird that she's coming after Ariana
26:57
and Katie for that. Meanwhile, she's also suck in the dick of Sandoval
27:03
all season and like having sympathy for him for no reason, propelling this whole
27:08
sand of aal redemption arc. Like, I don't blame Katie and Ariana either.
27:11
I was annoyed with her too. Yeah, she really doesn't contribute anything
27:15
other than misogyny and judgment toward the women. Yep. And I was just
27:18
like, ooh, Ariana's sick of you. Yeah, Arianna doesn't think she
27:22
needs you at all. And I can just imagine, like the times Lisa
27:26
vander Pump is going on and on and on lecturing all of them about their
27:30
relationships and their businesses, Ariana is just thinking to herself, shut the fuck
27:33
up, you old bitty, so shut the fuck up. Like I'm a
27:36
thirty eight year old woman. I don't need you to tell me what's going
27:38
on in my own business, which I'm not sharing with you now. It
27:41
does sound like Lisa vander Pump put them onto Penny, like referred Penny to
27:45
them. Yeah, and so Lisa might be a little bit but hurt because
27:48
Penny's not getting what Lisa might think she deserves. But I love well,
27:52
no kind of. I love Katie and Ariana. They're just like, yeah,
27:56
it was a mismatch. It's a no go, it's not happening.
27:57
Sorry, we don't like you. But yep, and I wonder if they're
28:00
biting their tongues because they've seen what has happened with you know, Jax Taylor
28:04
for example, when he comes toe to toe with Lisa Vander Pubb and I
28:08
know it's JACKX Taylor. I know he's wrong. I know he's a total
28:11
fucking asshole, but it's like he gets fired from VPR because he calls Lisa
28:15
out for being careless and right, shitty and right. So of course the
28:21
girls are like, fuck you, Lisa, but not saying it. Yeah,
28:23
but you can definitely see it on their faces. Totally. No,
28:27
is there anything else that happened that was interesting? I didn't have a lot
28:33
personally, honestly, that was pretty much it. We did see a preview,
28:38
Yeah, it looks like we are going to start with the conflict between
28:44
La La and Ariana. We hear Ariana saying to La La, I guess
28:47
because you yelled aloud as you're right or something calling her out for that.
28:51
Yeah, but yeah, it was it was kind of a nothing burger.
28:56
I mean, there were some interesting tidbits, but it was nothing, and
28:57
it was annoying. I was annoyed the entire time. Me too. By
29:00
Laala and also James and Brock. I'm just like, are we facing James
29:07
out there? There really wasn't a lot for him in this season other than
29:11
his relationship with Ali and his sobriety, which that's great. I'm happy for
29:15
you, but I'm snoring. I okay, And of course I hate Brock.
29:19
Yeah, but like you really could kind of get the feeling versus last
29:22
reunion when he was warm with a mustache. Oh amazing. You could just
29:26
see like something has shifted in the group with James totally pretty quiet. Well
29:30
yeah, and like but on the after show he was a lot lere entertaining
29:34
much on the after show, Yeah, he was going into Sandivial and the
29:37
most extras. Yes, how dumb and corny his band is. I'm like,
29:41
yes, bring this energy to the reunion. Yeah, and then Brock
29:45
started defending Tom about something in the after show and he just cut him right
29:48
off. And yeah, anyway, but back to me bashing I love him
29:52
in the after show because he is actually the voice of reason. It's not
29:56
Lala, it's James. Yeah, shockingly, I know. All right,
30:02
Well, any final thoughts before we move on to the valet. I just
30:04
wanted to pick up. I hope the next two parts are going to be
30:07
I think. I think in the third. In the third part of the
30:11
reunion, we're going to have the entire cast watch the final six minutes of
30:15
the season finale, which they didn't live it. When Ariana, who didn't
30:21
watch the season is going to see Lalla call her God. She's going to
30:25
see what they're saying to her at that party. Yeah, and then we'll
30:27
get into some maybe deeper stuff, but it's going to be in the third
30:30
part. It's going to be when Standibal cries and puts his hands on not
30:34
crying, I know, cry more, cry harder, cry baby, nobody
30:40
cares cornball for real. All right, let's get into the valley. We
30:45
are on season one, episode nine. This episode is entitled The Big Bear
30:51
Bombshell. Okay, okay, we're going a Big Bear hunt. Yeah,
30:55
got some drama, uh huh. All right, So this starts. We're
31:00
at Kristen's right, We're back at the James may T Shirt soft launch.
31:03
Yeah, it's like the aftermath of it. Everybody's all upset. His cracks
31:07
not invited to Janet's thing, and he's crying about it, and they see
31:15
a little weirdo, a little weasel in pink crocs who's totally recording and snooping
31:22
on people's conversation periphery, just listening and texting Janet and letting her know everything
31:29
that's happening. And so Jasmine stops the conversation, marches up to this person
31:33
his name is Simon, is like, what are you fucking doing? Are
31:36
you recording us? Are you what are you doing? And he's like,
31:38
oh no, no, I'm just christ I'm Janet's friend and I'm sending her
31:42
texts and it's nothing. And they're like, get the fuck out of here,
31:45
you weirdo. For real? That was so bizarre. That just shows
31:51
how much of a mean girl and an evil person Janes is. Because you
31:53
have fucking spies, you have nobodies who are at these parties crashing it,
31:59
just eating dropping in texting you, right, because you're that nosy. Yeah,
32:02
you definitely asked him to do that. It's not like he took it
32:06
upon himself to record and to text. You asked him to go to the
32:08
party specifically so you could get intel. And that is some trash awful behavior.
32:15
She's a terrible person. I love that we're seeing mask off Janet,
32:19
though I know, I'm like, get a live. I can't. I
32:22
feel bad for Jason because now he's chained to this bitch. Jason really seems
32:25
to be somebody who has integrity, and we're gonna talk like later in the
32:30
episode, like he's getting pissed already with all the gossip and I'm like,
32:34
you live with the worst gossip in this entire group. How do you stand
32:37
it? I don't know. I think he's realizing it now because she's home
32:42
and pregnant, and he's like, oh god, I fucked up. I'm
32:44
like, yeah, you did. Yep, you definitely did. And then
32:47
we have Jesse's short ass bitch ass coming home from his one day ayahuasca retreat
32:54
a changed man. Yeah he went through ego death. Yeah, agedly,
33:00
Okay, you went through ego death. And he seems really zen in a
33:06
different sort of energy and vibration. Michelle notices immediately. She's like, yeah,
33:10
you seem like a different kind of a person, and that's great,
33:15
but I'm like she's yawning though. While he's going into his entire hallucinogenic experience.
33:22
She's like literally looking away, and yeah, she hates him. She
33:25
doesn't love him anymore. She's banging multiple other peak point, and I'm asking
33:31
the question, like, did you guys know when you came on the show
33:35
that you were divorcing and like you were just acting for the first half of
33:38
the season to give us the impression that you were together, because it feels
33:43
to me like they don't like each other on any level. Maybe maybe Jesse
33:47
is desperate to keep it together, but I mean, he doesn't like her
33:51
though he doesn't respect her. What I noticed in this scene is when he
33:55
said when he went to the spiritual retreat that his first thought is typically like,
34:01
how can I manipulate the situation? Yes, I was like, whoa,
34:06
but I can't. I couldn't do it in this retreat, and so
34:08
I kind of had to submit and like go through the process and see what
34:12
happens. But I'm like, whoa, you're toxic. Hella toxic also a
34:16
narcissist, yes, And I'm like, I'm glad that you have that moment
34:21
of awareness that you do that that you manipulate every situation. But like Michelle
34:24
calls out in her talking head, She's like, you can't change the shit
34:27
overnight. You can't kill an ego, this big overright, right, and
34:30
she's so right about it. Yeah, and it's he was creeping me out,
34:35
like he was so affectionate with her, like breathing in her ear and
34:38
hug in her I'm like, she hates you. Yeah, she's already fucking
34:43
other people. Yeah, and he I think she came into it knowing she
34:46
was going to leave his ass. I don't think he knew. I think
34:50
he maybe had an inkling but denied it and drank his bordeaux and just lived
34:53
his life on Chateau marmal and was fine. But now he's realizing it in
34:59
real time. Yeah. I love to see it, honestly. Yeah.
35:00
In the preview, it seems like he's having a come to Jesus moment about
35:04
the state of his marriage. Let's go uncensored for a second. So now
35:07
let's come back from uncensored. And by the way, if you are watching
35:13
YouTube or if you're listening to a regular pod, if you want to hear
35:15
the uncensored bits that we talk about, you gotta subscribe to us on Patreon.
35:20
We don't always have something uncensored to say, but like if it's too
35:23
deep, if it's too personal, if it's too raunchy and crazy. We
35:28
stick it on a Patreon. Yeah. But so back to Jesse, Like,
35:30
so he's had this twenty four hour experience, he has an epiphany of
35:35
south anythings, he's achieved enlightenment I'm having in the dimension, and Michelle is
35:40
just staring at him with loathing in her eyes, and totally I kind of
35:45
felt bad for him. Really, I hate him so much, but he's
35:47
like a little boy kind of a person. He's just like a little petulant
35:52
boy that is seeking the love of his wife. And I just felt bad
35:58
because she is never are ever going to give it to him ever, God,
36:01
you have more compassion for him than I do. I'm watching this and
36:06
I'm like, you are so dumb because this whole like spiritual like psychedelic experience
36:12
thing is so trendy on social media right now, like everybody and their mothers
36:16
like, yeah, I didn't iohuascaal on Saturday, stupid, I experienced ego
36:20
death. My third eye is open, all my chakras are aligned. Okay,
36:23
Like shut up, like you don't know what you're talking about. It's
36:27
this like pseudo's spirituality where you act like you're super enlightened, but you're literally
36:31
the worst. So when he's talking about all this, I'm like, you're
36:35
so dumb, you know, I have grace for you, love thy neighbor,
36:39
whatever, like except for Jesse Lally, Yeah, like fuck you.
36:43
Well, he's a shallow person. He doesn't know how to be a deeper
36:46
person. He doesn't. He's trying to approximate his idea of what a deep
36:51
person might present as right, but he doesn't know how to do it because
36:53
he could never be one exactly. And that's pretty sad. But he knows
36:57
he wants his wife, he knows he wants his daughter, he knows you
36:59
want his life. He wants the illusion of it, right, So this
37:02
is what he thinks he can do to get that. And it's just so
37:05
superficial. It's pathetic. It's pathetic. Yeah, it's super pathetic. And
37:08
then speaking of pathetic, we have Janet calling up her snitches to come over
37:15
to her house Simon and acting for Big Bear, but they're really showing up
37:20
to film a scene where they bash Christen again and talk about the James May
37:24
party, and then they tell her, yeah, actually a lot of people
37:29
are pretty sad. Speaking of people who were sad Zach was crying because you
37:35
didn't invite his ass, and she's like, oh no, really, that
37:37
wasn't my intention at all. Let me call him, and then she calls
37:42
him, yeah, and he choose her ass, which I thought was so
37:46
fantastic. And to paraphrase, to shorten, what he said is basically like,
37:51
what the fuck did I do to you? I have been nothing but
37:53
a friend to you, And why wouldn't you allow me to go on what
37:58
is a cast trip? What is an opera tunity for me to solidify myself
38:01
in this cast? Yeah, but you're taking this away from me, and
38:04
you fucking presume to take it away from Kristin as well, thinking you can
38:07
iceer out maybe of the show. She's such a snake yea. And so
38:10
Zach has her number and he's not giving her any quarter. And immediately,
38:15
because he's not contrite, because he's not crying, she's like, well,
38:19
you seem awfully entitled to come along on my baby moon, Like who do
38:22
you think you are to just expect an invite? Like, oh my god,
38:28
you're not the queen of this group again, like we've been saying,
38:31
you're only on this show because Jack's Taylor and Kristen are famous, and that's
38:37
the only reason why you have any notoriety. But you suck Janet yep.
38:42
When Zach literally he's like, I've been a good friend to you, but
38:45
in her talking head, she's like, I can't trust him because he's friends
38:49
with Kristen, So I'm just not going to associate with people like that,
38:52
right, And we've had her ups and downs, and there have been some
38:54
things that Zach has done, and so like I was willing to start over,
39:00
but like, yeah, now, after the way he talked to me,
39:02
I don't think I can do that. I'm like, fuck you serious,
39:06
bitch, get fucked. I hate her so much. I mean,
39:07
she came into she took an offer from her friend Kristin, and I presume
39:13
Jack's a good faith offer to come into a show that has turned out to
39:16
be wildly successful, and within two episodes began to make moves against Kristin.
39:23
And all I could think about during this episode was how well Kristin is playing
39:28
this. She's playing this and Janet even says she's acting like she's a victim,
39:34
and I don't maybe Kristin is a little bit maybe she's doing that a
39:37
little bit, but she's coming off really high. Sweet, She's coming off
39:42
really high, baby, really sympathetic, self aware, like she actually wants
39:47
to improve herself. She's not being too forceful, she's not like requiring that
39:52
people spend time with hers. She's doing it right. And Janet looks like
39:58
such a fool. So of course I went to her Instagram, Oh my
40:00
god, and she's posting, but like all of her comments are limited,
40:06
So talk about living in the comments section. Janet is living in the comments
40:09
section, which is causing her to live in her head because the entire universe
40:14
doesn't like you. Oh Na, I hate when people limit the comments.
40:20
You have all this fire to be on this show doing all of this dirty
40:23
shit. Yeah, but then you limit your comments because you can't hear the
40:27
feedback there. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you just want people to suck
40:30
your dick. Okay, fuck you, Jim. Yeah. And then we
40:32
have everybody heading over to Big Bear for her baby moon. Yeah after all
40:37
this, and the only thing that was interesting on the way there was the
40:42
guys Jesse and Jack's saying yeah, we're not getting fucked. Yeah, And
40:45
they say this in front of Jasmine, who's in the back and I think
40:50
Brittany and Michelle are in the car too. I forget who is in that
40:53
car up there, but they were talking about Jesse and Michelle having some kind
40:58
of fight the night before because Jesse wanted her to wear her lingerie for fantasy
41:04
night at Big baron. She's like, I'm not wearing next to nothing in
41:07
front of all of these randos, thank you, right, and he's just
41:09
like, I want you to wear it for me, and they had a
41:12
fight, and that segues into him saying, well, we don't have sex,
41:15
and Jackson's like, don't look at me. We don't have sex either.
41:20
Yeah, none of these men are having sex, none at all.
41:22
And I think that's when Brittany I think she's in the car and she's like,
41:24
yeah, I mean we wouldn't because you make me feel like shit.
41:28
Oh that's right. She was there, So Michelle must have been there too,
41:30
probably, yes, And she's commiserating with Brittany too, you know she
41:35
is. And I'm sure on off camera Michelle is telling Brittany just leave him,
41:39
yeah, just dump his crusty ass, and I agree, yes,
41:44
after what we saw in this episode, for me real, after all of
41:46
the episodes, but especially this one. Yeah. So then they arrive at
41:50
this rental and it's actually a pretty nice So did we believe Janet when Janet
41:53
said that the price of her house in Los Angeles, yes, was the
42:00
same amount as the house that they rented in Big Bear. So like,
42:05
if she sold her house in LA, she could buy this house in Big
42:07
Bear. Because I'm like, I really don't think so. You look like
42:10
you're living in a three two small little ranch. I've seen a million of
42:15
them in southern California, and maybe it's a one million dollar house because you
42:19
live in California. Yeah, but that house in Big Bear was stunning.
42:23
Yeah, and she's probably looking at what it sold for, like I don't
42:28
know twenty eighteen, twenty nineteen, because I'm sure that house has just been
42:30
a rental ever since then. So, my girls, shut up. Big
42:35
Bear is beautiful and it's like, you know, near LA, not near
42:38
LA, but you know what I mean, it's like a couple hours out
42:39
or whatever. So in California. Yeah, so it's like very expensive.
42:43
It's kind of like Tahoe in that way. It's a beautiful area. Shut
42:46
up, And I think she's putting on airs. I think she's trying to
42:50
pretend that they make a lot of money and that their house is worth a
42:52
lot. Yes, like it's only worth a lot because you live in an
42:54
inflated section of the country. And yes, is a fucking dump. I'm
42:59
sorry, it's I know, it looks nice and everything. I'm just saying,
43:01
am I terrible? No, it's a dump. Yeah, well it's
43:05
a dump because she lives in it. And she's also like Jesse Lolly in
43:07
that way, like it's all about status, it's all about fame and notoriety.
43:13
Who likes who, Like you're gross, you're the worst kinds of people.
43:16
Yeah, well not Jason just turn No, not Jason, her Janet
43:21
and Jesse Lolly, they're the worst, thank you. So when they're at
43:23
the cabin, of course, Jesse brings all of his booze because he's gotta
43:27
have his bordo, he's gotta have all of his liquor and everything. They
43:31
everybody chooses their rooms and everything, and then Jesse and Michelle choose their room
43:36
and he's like, I want this to be a six trip. Yeah,
43:38
he's making his intentions known, and she's immediately turned off, repulsed by the
43:45
idea. Of sleeping with her own husband. Doesn't look like that's going to
43:49
happen girl, no at all. And then we have people going onto a
43:53
pontoon boat, or before we get to the pontoon boat, we have like
43:58
the download out on the deck where Janet is telling everybody what the day's going
44:01
to be, like, oh, right, and this is where she's like
44:04
now because I think Jesse says something like, can you guys hear that?
44:07
It's the sound of no drama because Kristen's not here, and Janet immediately is
44:12
like, stop it right there. We're not talking about Kristin this weekend.
44:15
We're here to have fun. We're here to have a good time. And
44:19
so anybody who talks about Kristin is going to have to put a twenty dollars
44:22
bill in this jar. And the people who don't talk about resident are gonna
44:27
be able to take that money home at the end of the weekend. So
44:30
she's putting her foot down. Yeah, and I guess the girls are gonna
44:31
go on the pontoon right, and the guys are gonna get drunk on the
44:36
drinking hard liquor in the car in an open container and stuff, and on
44:40
the beach, are drinking tequila, yeah, and vodka and stuff. Yeah,
44:44
so that that's the plan. Yeah. And then on the pontoon Boatmediannett
44:49
immediately asks Jasmine what happened at the T shirt party and everything, as if
44:52
she doesn't fucking know because she had her minions there. You had a spy
44:55
there literally recording everything in texting you the entire time. Absolutely wild, And
45:00
this conversation with Jasmine got me heated because Janet is coming in harsh. She's
45:06
like, I just I'm nosy. I want to know everything. Jasmin's kind
45:09
of trying to tell her, and then something happens where she's like, I
45:13
think Jasmine's interrupting her. Oh yeah, She's talking about Zach and like their
45:16
relationship and why she didn't invite Zach. And this is where Jasmine is cutting
45:22
in to kind of advocate for her friend, and Janet ultimately gets pissed off
45:27
and says, basically, you're gonna let me finish what I'm saying. I
45:30
know, real snappy, really rude, real bitchy, really bitchy, and
45:35
Jasmine in her talking head she's like, you're really gonna give me attitude when
45:37
I'm planning you this whole ass baby shower, and I got you all these
45:39
expensive asque gifts. Watch it, preg go right, you're heavy with gild.
45:45
But that's another mask slip. You can kind of see Janet's ultimate nature,
45:49
Like, how dare you interrupt me? How dare you not let me
45:52
say what I want to stay in front of the cameras, which I have
45:53
pre planned for days before this? How dare you call me out on my
45:58
bullshit for alienating Zach who never did anything to you. And I thought that
46:02
the pretensive not inviting Zach was that he wasn't part of a couple. But
46:07
here's Jasmine. I know she's in a couple, but like, huh,
46:10
her partner's not there. So how come Jasmine? Because Janet, you are
46:15
they see you next toosday Yeah, she hippocret. Yes. Meanwhile, at
46:20
the beach, while the girls are on this weird pontoon boat, the guys
46:23
are getting hammered at the beach, and this is where Jack's kind of brings
46:30
up because Jesse's like floating in the water or something. He get away drunk
46:34
in the water. He brings Jack springs up to the other guys like,
46:37
hey, I know this secret about Michelle because Kristen won't shut her big fat
46:43
mouth and she's saying this around everywhere. But I'm also spreading it myself.
46:46
Don't worry about that, but I just, you know, I feel like
46:50
we might have to talk about it on this trip. I feel like we
46:52
need to say that. You know, Michelle's been texting other guys. And
46:54
immediately Jason's like, are we just a bunch of little bitches? Why are
46:59
we gossip about this shit? If you have something that you want Jesse to
47:02
know, why don't you just say it right to his face? Thank you?
47:06
Love it? And Jack says nothing to say to that. But like,
47:07
what really killed me in that scene was that Jax threw Kristin under the
47:13
bus again so harshly. Like, I know she's a liar. I know
47:16
she lies about absolutely everything, so I don't know if I can trust what
47:20
she had to say to me, But like, I really feel like maybe
47:22
we should tell Jesse. I'm like, Jesus Christ, you could have just
47:24
said there's a rumor floating around, should we tell Jesse? But like every
47:28
opportunity to throw Kristin under the bus, he takes it, which is why
47:32
we needed a reunion. We really needed a reunion so everybody could have watched
47:37
these episodes and we could have addressed some of this shit after the fact.
47:39
It's really a travesty that we don't have a reunion yet. I feel robbed
47:45
me too, of all my time I'm watching this season and I don't get
47:49
a reunion. I don't get a reward after this. No shit, Nope,
47:52
you just get fatter. We just get fatter on the trash, baby,
47:55
I guess. But I think Jackson is honestly just doing this because he's
47:59
ta in the heat off of himself, or he thinks he's trying to take
48:01
the heat off of himself, because he starts acting like an asshole to Brittany
48:05
later in the episode. Yeah, we'll talk about yeap. What a jerk.
48:08
Then we flash over to Luke and Kristen because Kristen's not invited, so
48:13
she's in her Dowdy apartment with Luke. Her last name is Dowdy, Oh
48:16
doty, there you go, Dowdy Doddy, Dowdy Doddy. They're in their
48:21
apartment because they're getting ready for a couple's counselor who's going to make a home
48:23
visit. I guess and do therapy with them like doctor Orna style, yeah,
48:29
which I love, which is very interesting. By the way, we
48:31
are going to be covering on Patreons starting in June. It's a show called
48:36
Couples Therapy on Showtime and I think paramount plus with doctor Orna, and she's
48:40
a counselor who is the best. She's so on. We geek out so
48:44
hard on this show. So we're going to be covering it over there,
48:45
if you guys, I'm interested. By the way, I liked this counselor,
48:50
Yeah, I did too. And we did learn in the conversation with
48:52
the therapist that Luke and Kristen don't know where they're going to live, so
48:58
they're still questioning that. They never talk about finances because they'm uncomfy. It
49:04
makes me so uncomfy. It makes my pussy dry up, is what she
49:07
says, right. And also they have absolutely no support from any family anywhere
49:13
because Luke's is in Indiana and Kristen's in Michigan, and so they're starting out
49:19
this baby journey in a deficit. Yes, and a couple's counselors like,
49:22
maybe you should figure this stuff out before you bring a child. Into the
49:25
world. That would probably be good. Maybe you should get a support system.
49:30
And then this is where Luke is like, yeah, I mean,
49:31
she's got a lot of friends here, but I think they all fucking suck.
49:35
I hate them and I don't want to be here. They're awful people.
49:37
I don't want them around any baby of mine, Like, why would
49:39
I ever do that to my child? Based and so we don't have a
49:44
support system. And I thought it was such a comment on everybody else.
49:47
I was just thinking about what they were going to think about when they saw
49:52
that played back, because they really are terrible friends to Kristin. Jasmine,
49:55
you say you're Kristen's friend, You're not a great friend to her. You're
49:59
not there. Zach, you're the only one who's kind of their Brittany.
50:01
You fucking suck and talk about Kristin. Yep, Jacks, you hate Kristin
50:05
and Sabotagher all the time. Nobody is good to Kristin yet, so nobody
50:08
in this group is going to be there to support her except maybe Danny and
50:13
Nia, which, by the way, sidebar what so. Somebody commented either
50:19
on Jack's Taylor's post or on a post that he ultimately saw saying, like
50:23
an a paraphrase, thank God for Danny and Nia. I mean, we've
50:27
got this one couple out of all the couples who you know, are so
50:32
great and so wholesome and we heart them. And Jacks says something along the
50:37
lines of yeah, we'll see how that ages, implying potentially that there might
50:43
be some issues between Danny and Nia. I hope he's just maybe projecting because
50:51
he's bitter, because he's going to be a divorced forty something year old.
50:53
So because did you see Danny's bod, Yes, he had those swim trunks
51:01
or slung low on his hips so everybody can see the v down to the
51:06
dick rood. I'm like, go of Danny, I see you. Because
51:08
there's fucking Jesse, I know, Joey. And then we have Jack's all
51:14
I know and his nude swim shores. We have Jack's who's just sweating because
51:17
of the coke that he does. We have Jason, who didn't take off
51:21
his clothes unfortunately, I know, you know he's ripped. Yeah, it
51:25
works all the time, I want to tell White Anyway, I hope Jackson
51:31
is just projecting me too, because I love them. Yeah. But anyway,
51:36
Luke and Kristin they seem like they're okay couple, but they need to
51:39
figure their shit out. They have a lot working against them. Well,
51:43
and maybe it seems like Kristin and are talking head. She's like, I
51:45
don't really want to live in the middle of nowhere in Colorado, but with
51:49
the way everybody's treating me, I'm like, maybe it's probably for the best.
51:52
I'm like, please, m if you're nine years of therapy is going
51:54
to do anything, maybe you should have a little bit of self worth and
51:58
leave La and live your happy life with the Colorado's banging. I love Colorado.
52:04
I lived in Colorado for several years. I would do anything to go
52:07
back to Colorado or to a neighboring mountain state that's where the shit's good.
52:12
Well, I don't know what you're Eastern Colorado or something, or like Grand
52:15
Junction, a Lineman, yeah, shit, Greeley, yeah no, thank
52:17
you. Yeah, he's probably had like a worse area. And there's such
52:21
beautiful parts of California, like you see Big Bear and you see Tahoe and
52:25
the Sierra Nevadas. I mean, oh my god, it's gorgeous. It
52:29
is. But all the people ruined we hate on California. You do,
52:35
I don't. My mom is from El Segundo, My family is from California.
52:38
I have a lot of friends there. Dude. I love California.
52:40
I have family in California. I've been there. On Tifornia. No,
52:44
I love the scenery and stuff. I just hate like the shitty people that
52:47
moved to California and then ruin it for everybody else. Okay, Luke,
52:52
I'm just saying it's true. Okay, And they don't come at me.
52:55
Bro. We're back at the beach after Luke and Kristen's whole segue. Yes,
53:01
the guys are still getting drunk, and this is where Jesse is so
53:06
shitfaced. He keeps attacking and like straight up bullying Danny. He's like,
53:09
yeah, beaten on him. Like he take his towel and he wrapped it
53:13
around his neck and he's like dragging him back with the towel. Oh,
53:16
Like, what are we doing here? We're grown ass men. And for
53:20
Jesse, who's like always concerned about his image and how he comes off,
53:23
I'm like, you look stupid. Like I don't think he cares about his
53:28
image at all. He said on his hand, I know, but the
53:30
shit he's been doing on camera this entire season, he does not care,
53:34
but like, yeah, it was really troubling actually yea. And you have
53:38
to ask yourself the question, Okay, like when you drink all that wine
53:43
or that bordeaux at home and then Chadow Marma, is this how you're getting
53:47
with Michelle? Like what kind of husband does she have when you're drinking?
53:51
Because it seems you really like to drink, since you're drinking at nine am
53:53
you drinking champagne? Well, we kind of see it because Nia at some
53:57
point brings up like the self defense class that she taught all the girls or
54:00
whatever, and she asks the girls to kind of practice with the guys,
54:04
and I think she tells Michelle like, hey, I know you weren't at
54:07
this thing, but let me teach you some moves that you can use on
54:09
Jesse. And so Michelle and Jesse are kind of tussling, kind of wrastling,
54:15
but then he gets way too aggressive and like hits her nose when she's
54:20
like only a few years before she slaps him too? Does she does say
54:23
that she hates him, you just like it, Yeah, slap him harder,
54:28
but like first she slaps him. She said, do you want to
54:30
fight for real? Yeah, and so she slaps him and I'm like,
54:32
whoa, that's a little bit much. And then they're starting to tussle and
54:37
then he gets in her face and he goes a little hard and he hits
54:40
her nose and apparently she had a nose job like a few years ago ago
54:44
or whatever. So she's worried about it and she's pretty upset. But like,
54:49
these people just continue to embarrass themselves as a couple. They're in every
54:52
situation. They're bad. They're so toxic, like both of them are awful.
54:58
And then we have brit kind of talking to Jack's on the side and
55:01
she's like talking to him about Yeah, you should bring up Michelle texting other
55:06
guys. You should maybe talk to her about me. I'm like, she's
55:08
a trash bag. She's so true. She's not great Brittany. Yep.
55:13
And then I think Brittany gets like a text or something. She gets a
55:15
video of their kid cruise some swimming lessons or whatever. He's like crying in
55:22
the video. She's got it at full volume because she's a mom and she's
55:24
old and she's emotional. It's like she's crying too, because Cruse is crying,
55:29
yeah, and Jack's is an asshole and just starts screaming at her in
55:34
front of everybody. Turn your fucking volume down. Why do you have that
55:37
on it? I don't want to hear him crying. That's my kid.
55:40
As if you're justified in yelling at your wife in front of everybody. I
55:44
thought that was wild. And I think she says something like you I can't
55:47
even be emotional, like I can't even have a feeling or a thought,
55:51
and he's like and again he's like yeah no, and he stalks away,
55:54
and it is really insensitive. And this really does give us a glimpse.
55:59
I mean, I know it's happening for sure. Yeah, And I don't
56:00
like Brittany necessarily, but like we can tell the way that Jax is treating
56:06
her twenty four seven behind the scenes, and we also kind of pick it
56:09
up as well before the final act where Brittany is sick in the car because
56:15
she gets carsick because they're heading back to the rental, right, and I
56:17
think even on the way up she was carsick, and she's been carsick before,
56:22
and she's telling the girls like when they're heading back to the rental,
56:25
like, please don't tell him that I'm carsick and that I just threw up
56:29
because he's going to blame it on drinking. But I didn't drink, yep.
56:31
But I know that's what he's going to do. So she's like planning
56:37
her day like with what she can say to her husband so that he doesn't
56:42
yell at her and shame her in front of all of these people. And
56:45
I'm sorry, like, if you're sitting in a group setting and you're showing
56:50
your wife, your kids, screaming on the internet or whatever, I'm not
56:53
going to scream at you. No, I'm going to be like, oh
56:55
my god, are you okay? Like what's going on? Like right,
56:58
He's the worst. He is the absolute worst, and everybody sees it,
57:02
Like everybody was making comments like yeah, this is just what Jax does.
57:07
This is how he talks to her all the freaking time. He does not
57:08
care, Brittany says on camera like yeah, he doesn't care if it's on
57:13
camera, in front of my MoMA, my grandparents, my parents, whatever.
57:16
He's going to talk to me like that no matter what, right,
57:20
And I'm like, that's fucked up, Brittany yeah, but she accepts she
57:23
I know, it's sad. So it's I think a somewhat transactional relationship.
57:29
She wants the baby from this man, and she wants to stay with him.
57:31
I think she wants the fame and everything that comes with it, but
57:35
like in exchange for that, this is the man that you're with and he
57:38
doesn't want to change. No, he's not undertaking any kind of process to
57:43
change. So this is what it is. Yep. So thank god she
57:45
left him, Honestly, I hope she stays gone. Yep. And then
57:49
also on the way up to the rental, we have the guys in their
57:52
car and this is where Danny confronts Jesse for beating on him at the beach
57:57
and him, yeah, dude, that was kind of lame, Like you
58:00
just are kind of coming on me hard, like maybe stop, and Jesse
58:04
just calls him sensitive, like maybe stop being a little bitch baby basically,
58:07
and then Danny's like, can you just like apologize like a real man,
58:12
And Jesse's like, well, I'm sorry that you're offended, and then Danny's
58:15
like that's not a real apology, and they kind of get at it a
58:16
little bit, and it's frustrating for Danny because he's the only man of integrity
58:22
beause maybe Jason in this group. And I'm like, yeah, Danny,
58:25
don't fight this because Jesse's a piece of shit and he's drunk in this moment,
58:30
he is very true drunk. And then we're back at the rental.
58:32
Jesse stops off little Lord, stomps away from the SUV with his little shoes
58:39
on, his unhappy face, stomps away to his room and he's just throwing
58:47
a tantrum because somebody called him out for his bad behavior. Yep. And
58:52
so Michelle comes into the room. She's like, what's going on. It's
58:53
like taking me oute, let me take a name, Okay, bye.
59:00
And then this is where Michelle kind of talks with Jacks in the kitchen.
59:02
He's like, Hey, I gotta talk to you. I gotta talk to
59:05
you about some shit that's going around that Kristen's been saying and I think you
59:08
need to know about it. And I'm like, well, didn't Kristen show
59:12
the texts that confirmed that it was Jack's that was the one that said the
59:15
thing? Yes, But now Jackson is saying to Michelle that Kristen said the
59:21
thing at a group girls' night after they left, Kristen was drunk and said
59:25
that I don't know who to believe, but I mean, I'm inclined not
59:30
to believe Jack's. No, he knows what he's doing. He knows that
59:32
Michelle hates Kristen's guts. He knows everybody at this party hates Kristin right now
59:37
basically besides maybe Jasmine, I guess Nanda, want Na Danny, but they're
59:42
just kind of there. They're background characters with all these crazy people. But
59:46
then they go out and sit on the patio and this is where Jack's basically
59:52
confronts Michelle and He's like, yeah, this is Kristen's saying that you're texting
59:57
other men and flirting with them and sending sexy pictures. And Michelle's like,
1:00:00
yeah, I am. And I'm thinking, huh, I'm wondering if this
1:00:05
is a producer fake out. I'm wondering if this is chopped up, like
1:00:08
the conversation is chopped up, and then when we get back to it next
1:00:12
week, it's not gonna really be that, but it is that because we
1:00:15
see in the preview that Jesse is calling her out for sending sexy pictures to
1:00:21
people. So she's gonna say this. Jackson's gonna tell somebody. Somebody's gonna
1:00:24
tell Jesse, and thus starts the ultimate dissolution of this marriage, which I
1:00:30
love to see. And my vibe is like, maybe it is a little
1:00:32
producer planned like on Jackson's part, like he did this intentionally. I think
1:00:38
Michelle is honestly just over it, Like she's like so done with him.
1:00:42
She does not give a shit. She's already getting the d from Quentin Tarantino
1:00:45
or somebody, and so lives in Israel, I know, but he thinks
1:00:52
they're fucking for some reason. But yeah, I think she's just done.
1:00:55
So she's like, yeah, I don't care. It's gonna hurt his feelings.
1:00:58
And I love to see it because I'm a vindictive bitch. Well and
1:01:00
he's an awful person, and I don't want to say he deserves it,
1:01:04
but like karma always comes back around, honey, what comes around comes back
1:01:08
around, that's right, So this is what's gonna happen. And then we
1:01:10
get to the preview where we see Jack's addressing the girls at the island in
1:01:16
the kitchen because Britney's sick, like she's come back and she's got motion sickness
1:01:22
still, and he's drilling them or grilling them about whether she was drinking,
1:01:27
like how much did she drink? And their leg zero, like she literally
1:01:30
had nothing to drink and he doesn't believe it. And then we have Brittany
1:01:35
poking her head around saying like, why are you trying to make me look
1:01:37
so bad? And obviously so he can get custody of Cruise cause he wants
1:01:42
to divorce orr Ass yes, which is just crazy and like what a piece
1:01:45
of shit? Jack says. I do kind of feel bad for Brittany in
1:01:47
that way, even though she's not the best person either, but it's like,
1:01:51
dang, that sucks to have to your husband. And she even calls
1:01:54
him out, you're my husband, why are you making me look so bad?
1:01:59
I'm like, whoa, I can't wait to see that because he hates
1:02:00
you. Yeah, he's fucking other people too, yep. And then we
1:02:04
have Danny also crying because of everything that he's dealing with at home. I
1:02:07
mean, he's a new dad. I love him. He's got two little
1:02:12
baby girls he's got with Asher or something like that, the other baby,
1:02:16
like he's putting babies on boobs, as he says it, but he's also
1:02:21
working and he's trying to take care of this woman who's got PPD and she's
1:02:23
struggling, and he's got the world on his shoulders, and I feel bad
1:02:29
for him, and the guys are there for him, and it looks like
1:02:30
in that scene Jesse and him have made up, like Jesse's trying to be
1:02:35
there for him. And this is where we also have in the same scene,
1:02:37
Jesse saying, yeah, like my marriage is pretty much over. Yeah
1:02:42
good, Yeah, fuck you. I hope you're single forever, like Tom
1:02:45
Schwartz on VPR with all your plants right at Chateau Marmont, Yeah, and
1:02:51
your bottles thet Bordeaux Loser. Yeah. I mean it was a little slow,
1:02:55
but I actually enjoyed it. And yeah, I'm hoping that we're going
1:03:00
to kind of continue with the momentum of outing Janet, because like when you
1:03:04
see Zach on the couch in his interstitial and he's just like, she's not
1:03:08
just like the mean girl or a low key mean girl, she's like all
1:03:12
of the mean girl. That's Janet. She's an awful person. And we
1:03:15
see Jasmine and her interstitial like who the fuck do you think you're talking to?
1:03:20
So we have more people kind of speaking out about Janet, and I'm
1:03:23
hoping that's a harbinger that things are shifting to favor Kristin, please, And
1:03:30
I just keep kind of going back in my mind, Beatrice, to the
1:03:34
fact that around this time of filming last year, Kristin actually does get pregnant,
1:03:38
but ultimately she miscarries, she loses the baby, and like, none
1:03:45
of these people are going to be there for her. Like you think about
1:03:47
the conversation with the therapist and he's like, like, who's in your donut
1:03:52
of intimacy? Who's in your donut of support? Like none of these people
1:03:54
are actually going to be there for her in an authentic way. And I
1:03:58
just feel bad foreshadowing what's about to happen me too. And I just I
1:04:03
still feel salty that we're not going to get a reunion because I feel like
1:04:06
it would have been so fucking juicy this season. Yeah, but I mean
1:04:10
we're gonna get a season two, so I'm sure season two is gonna be
1:04:13
crazy. What did she too? She's stinking? Oh you stink lady?
1:04:16
What's going on? Yeah? I think that we definitely will we're gonna get
1:04:21
a season two because it's a really high rated show. We'll get a reunion
1:04:25
then, but I wouldn't be surprised if, like live on the night of
1:04:29
the season finale on Watch What Happens Live, we get the whole cast and
1:04:33
maybe Andy asks them some questions because he's done that before, or like with
1:04:36
Below Deck and with some other shows, so maybe maybe they'll cobble something together
1:04:43
to satisfy our cravings in the dumpster. But we'll see, Oh my god,
1:04:47
that would be exciting. Can we watch that on Peacock? Yeah?
1:04:49
Okay, good on Peacock asoutely darling, Well, is there anything else that
1:04:56
we have to say to these beutiful raccoons Beatrice before we get to hail Well,
1:05:00
if you love our podcast, I sure hope you go to your favorite
1:05:03
podcast platform and leave us a glowing five star review. It really helps us
1:05:09
scroll this dumpster so we can be famous and I can quit my job.
1:05:12
So thank you so much and give me some grand baby. Yea. We
1:05:15
will be back next week to continue our seeking sister wife journey and also all
1:05:20
the other reality trash that we are into. But until then, please do
1:05:24
not forget that we have nothing of a love for you, and please a
1:05:30
light bug us