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Be Real, Not Nice: Generational Curse Breakers · Unlocking The Paradigm Portal

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  Good morning everyone. Welcome back to Unlocking the
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  Paradigm Portal. My name is Sarah.
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  It's a cool thing. Monday my stone was to get up at
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  5:00 in the morning to record, which I did yesterday didn't
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  record, but I was up at 5:00 in the morning and today I am back
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  at 5:00 in the morning. Look at me go super proud of
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  that. Tell me, what are the stones
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  that you've been laying? What are the little things that
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  you have been sticking with or even done a couple of times that
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  you feel really good about? Because I feel really freaking
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  proud of myself right now. So Sunday we talked about how I
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  did a whole intensive deep dive into relationships and children
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  and generational patterns to see and understand what is the core
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  wound that drives most of my crap.
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  Because we all have 1 and I share my story so that it
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  hopefully shows you like it Can't.
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  You can look at these things. It's not about me, it's just I
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  look at the patterns and I want to share the info and encourage,
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  if you want to, for you to dive into.
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  And then Monday we talked about recognizing where you learned
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  how love looks and being able to differentiate between the wound
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  telling you what is love and like amplifying that wound as
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  opposed to actual love. And if you listen, last night I
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  talked about the map, the map that you inherit of what
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  everything looks like, how you act, how you choose things,
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  behaving patterns, all of that that comes through the
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  generational lines. So today we're going to talk
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  about that wound and where it came from.
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  And before I say anything else, I need you to understand that
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  the wound didn't start with you. So the one that came up
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  repeatedly in my patterning was the unworthy wound, and that is
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  feeling this driving need unconsciously, mind you, not
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  realizing that's what you're doing until suddenly you see it.
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  But what is driving the behaviors, the choices, the
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  beliefs, the the beliefs about what love is frankly is being
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  driven by this. I need to prove my worth in
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  order to feel worthy of love. And then oftentimes being drawn
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  to people in situations and things that validate the
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  unworthiness because that keeps, it's like feeding the wound.
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  So those wounds, they didn't just start with you.
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  And the patterns that you find yourself in and dynamics that
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  you recreate and the choices that leave you standing in what
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  may feel like the same wreckage like over and over and over
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  again that didn't originate in you.
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  It's been running in the line before you arrived, the line
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  being generations before you. If you've heard generational
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  trauma, generational patterns, this is what we're talking
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  about. So like I said, Monday we talked
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  about the idea of love. Tuesday I talked a little bit
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  about the map. That's a much shorter episode,
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  so it wasn't quite as deep into it.
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  And the map is the one that you were handed before you had any
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  language for it, before you even knew how to decipher it.
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  You were operating from that map just on autopilot.
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  So today I want us to take a look at who drew that map.
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  So look at the line of people that came before you and look at
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  the people and the lives that they lived in the ways that they
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  loved, in the ways that they didn't.
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  And the ones who compressed their brilliance to a size that
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  the people around them could tolerate, or who had more to
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  offer than they ever let the world see.
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  Because somewhere along the way they may have learned that being
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  too much cost you the things that you love.
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  And the one who maybe carried everyone else's emotional
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  weather. Think of it literally like if
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  people, you know, the people that are just chaos that are
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  like the eggshell people that are, you're constantly on egg
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  shells. Not sure you're trying to read
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  them all the time. Think of them like a weather
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  pattern. It's like the cyclone that comes
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  in and you brace yourself for it.
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  That's reading emotional weather and then making adjustments
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  around it. So think about also anyone in
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  the past, in your generations past who made themselves
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  indispensable and they showed up for everyone else and built a
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  life where there was the intersection of their needs and
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  everyone else's and they chose the path of everyone else's
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  needs. But then they call it love, not
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  realizing it's actually self abandoning.
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  Or think of if there is in the line before you, someone who
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  left, or someone who stayed but checked out, or someone who
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  poured themselves into achievement and then not
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  realizing that because they're so focused on achievement, the
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  people closest to them get the leftovers.
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  Does any of that sound familiar? Because that's the map and you
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  didn't draw it, but you've been navigating by it your entire
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  life. And some of that should sound
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  familiar, because you learn to love.
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  Maybe not the exact patterns that I described, but you learn
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  to love the way that they love the people before you.
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  You learn to navigate the way that they navigated.
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  And you learned what worth looks like and what earning your place
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  requires and how much of yourself to show and how much to
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  keep hidden. And you learned all of it from
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  everyone who came before you, because the wounds are
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  generational, the patterns are generational.
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  And at some point, you have to stop asking why you are the way
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  you are and start asking who taught you, where did you learn
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  it, and whether you're going to keep teaching it forward and
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  keep passing it down to the next generation.
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  And that it's not about blame. I want to be very, very precise
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  about that. The people who handed you all of
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  this stuff, they were also carrying it.
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  And they didn't build that wound from scratch either.
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  They inherited it too. And they did what people do with
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  wounds that they haven't seen and they haven't named.
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  Because frankly, until right about now, most people didn't
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  have the awareness or the understanding.
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  And let's be totally honest, most people don't look at any of
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  this stuff. That's why we're the curse
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  Breakers, by the way. We look at all of this stuff,
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  these generational curses, and we go, oh, not today, Satan.
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  So the people that came before you, they did what people with
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  wounds do that they haven't named.
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  They live inside of them. And then they pass them forward
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  unconsciously. But here's where the compassion
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  ends and the accountability begins.
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  You know now, and you can see the shape and you can trace the
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  line and you can name the transmission.
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  And that changes everything because once you can see it, you
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  can't Unsee it. And once you know it, you can't
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  unknown it. And once you can't unknown it,
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  you have a choice. And it's not whether to carry it
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  because you you're already carrying it.
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  It's whether to pass it forward. You have the choice.
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  And breaking a generational pattern, it's not dramatic.
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  It doesn't look like a breakthrough moment or a
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  lightning bolt or a sudden transformation.
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  It looks like the moment that you would normally do the thing
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  the wound taught you to do. And you pause and you ask, is
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  this mine or is this theirs? And then you ask, is this true
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  or is this inherited? And it looks like naming A
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  boundary that you want to hold and continuing to hold it
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  without apology when every instinct says to soften it.
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  And it looks like saying no to carrying that other person's
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  emotional weather. When the old reflex says, if you
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  don't hold it, no one will. It is your job.
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  It is your obligation. F that it's not.
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  It looks like letting yourself be seen in all of your glory
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  with what you're carrying, who you are, what you have to offer,
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  instead of shrinking it down to the size that that wounding is
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  saying is acceptable. It's small axe repeated and
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  building a new baseline. This is the small, the one
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  stone, the small axe, the small stones that you lay all the
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  time. You didn't choose the
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  inheritance that you got, but you are standing here right now
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  with enough consciousness to see it clearly, and that makes you
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  the one who gets to decide where it ends.
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  You would not be here at 6:00 in the morning listening to this if
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  you were not aware. So your stone.
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  Your stone for today, identify one pattern that you are still
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  carrying that was handed to you. Not yours originally, but one
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  that passed through the line. Just name it out loud.
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  Think of something to make it very simple.
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  Think of something that you might roll your eyes at yourself
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  about and be like, Oh my God, I'm so like my mother, my
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  father, my grandmother, my grandfather, whatever, Someone
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  who came before you. And rather than roll your eyes
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  at it, just notice it. Name it out loud.
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  That's your stone. Because that shows you it's not
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  something that is yours. It's something you picked up.
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  And chances are whomever you picked it up from, they picked
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  it up from somebody. So have an incredible Wednesday,
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  I know that is my plan and keep kicking ass and taking names and
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  I'll be back Friday. I'm not 100% sure what the theme
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  will be but it's going to be going along with this Tuesday,
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  Thursday, Saturday night 9:00 PM light in the dark.
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  Monday, Wednesday, Friday 6:00 AM.
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  Be real not nice Sunday deep dives.
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  If you are on YouTube, I would love it if you would subscribe,
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  and if you were on Spotify, I would love it if you would
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  follow. And all right, let's keep going.
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  Have a wonderful day.