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How can I process ambiguous loss? · Wellbeing Solutions - Ask A Counsellor

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  SPEAKER_00: How can I process ambiguous loss?
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Ambiguous loss can be emotionally challenging because you are grieving someone or something that hasn't necessarily disappeared from your life.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: But the relationship, connection, or circumstances have changed.
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  SPEAKER_00: One of the hardest parts is that there may be no clear ending, explanation or opportunity for closure.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: The aim is about learning how to acknowledge the loss, make space for your feelings, and gradually adjust to what has changed.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: Give yourself permission to recognise that something has changed.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: You might be experiencing sadness for the relationship you once had, longing for how someone used to be, anger about things left unsaid.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Allow yourself to grieve what you cannot change.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we become emotionally stuck because we are waiting for something to change.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: For example, waiting for someone to acknowledge the hurt they've caused, waiting for an apology that may never come.
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  SPEAKER_00: This doesn't mean giving up on hope.
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  SPEAKER_00: It means not putting your entire emotional well being on hold.
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  SPEAKER_00: Make space for conflicting emotions.
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  SPEAKER_00: Ambiguous loss often involves two feelings existing together.
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  SPEAKER_00: For example, I love this person but they hurt me.
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  SPEAKER_00: I miss them but I need distance.
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  SPEAKER_00: I want things to improve, but I'm exhausted from trying.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: I feel angry but I also feel compassion.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to choose one feeling over another.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Practice accepting that two opposite emotions can both be true.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: One of the difficulties with ambiguous loss is that you may never receive the conversation, explanation or acknowledgement you need.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: You can begin creating your own emotional closure.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: You could write an unsent letter expressing everything you wish you could say, acknowledging what you hope the relationship would become.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: An important thought to take away.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: You can grieve someone who is still alive.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: You can miss someone and still recognise that distance is necessary.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: You can love someone and acknowledge that the relationship is no longer healthy for you.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: Healing from ambiguous loss isn't about pretending the loss doesn't matter, it's about learning to live meaningfully alongside something that may have never had a neat ending.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: If you are thinking of harming yourself or feel unsafe, please call your local emergency number or crisis line.