Latest / The Parenting Podcast / Talking More on the Good Parts of Parenting | Ep. 31

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Talking More on the Good Parts of Parenting | Ep. 31 · The Parenting Podcast

• 1:02
  Cheryl: welcome listeners to the parenting podcast Denae and Ella and I are here around the table again.
• 1:08
  Danae: And I hear we're supposed to have on our rain boots and make sure our cars are in the garage because of the Hale county.
• 1:15
  Danae: Have we got more healed?
• 1:16
  Danae: Yeah, supposedly.
• 1:17
  Danae: Yes.
• 1:18
  Danae: And
• 1:18
  Ellen: this room we needed jacket in and of course, Ellen forgets her jacket.
• 1:22
  Ellen: So it's freezing in here.
• 1:25
  Danae: Our
• 1:25
  Ellen: lives
• 1:26
  Cheryl: are so hard, tough life.
• 1:28
  Cheryl: I just met with my insurance agent yesterday to decide the coverage I'm going to have on my roof.
• 1:33
  Cheryl: So no hail, please,
• 1:35
  Danae: Oklahoma.
• 1:36
  Danae: And so we had this tornado or have the hail
• 1:39
  Ellen: happened now
• 1:40
  Cheryl: before you new roof can tell you all Because we are in Oklahoma, but what I learned from him, you know, Texas gets hurricane after devastating hurricane.
• 1:52
  Cheryl: Remember Houston, a few years, all of that last year's week of cold weather in February a little over a year ago was the greatest.
• 2:01
  Cheryl: Insurance claim cost, there were more, insurance claims paid out over that one week than at any other time in the history of Texas.
• 2:11
  Cheryl: Wow.
• 2:12
  Cheryl: Yes, because they had a week of super freezing cold weather.
• 2:16
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 2:17
  Cheryl: And none
• 2:17
  Ellen: of their houses are ruined.
• 2:19
  Ellen: The people are prepared for that
• 2:21
  Cheryl: Costs more than anything.
• 2:23
  Cheryl: So.
• 2:23
  Cheryl: Not good news.
• 2:24
  Cheryl: All of our insurance rates are going to go up because of weather.
• 2:28
  Cheryl: So on that cheery note, But just that explanation.
• 2:33
  Cheryl: So when your insurance rates go up, it goes back to that one.
• 2:38
  Cheryl: And
• 2:38
  Ellen: what an amazing thing.
• 2:39
  Ellen: We can live in a country where you can have insurance.
• 2:42
  Ellen: Cause otherwise we'd all be fixing our houses
• 2:45
  Cheryl: nonstop while not fixing them.
• 2:47
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 2:48
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 2:49
  Cheryl: All right.
• 2:49
  Cheryl: I have some, this is an article of last week's actually time magazine and one of our good friends of TPP and I met last week and he shared this with me and I thought it was interesting.
• 3:01
  Cheryl: It's, by.
• 3:02
  Cheryl: Lucy huber, who is a freelance writer and the title of it is we should talk more about the good parts of parenting.
• 3:09
  Cheryl: So she is a young mom.
• 3:10
  Cheryl: She just has a toddler now who is born, uh, in 2020.
• 3:16
  Cheryl: And I just thought her reflections were interesting and I wanted to address it.
• 3:20
  Cheryl: So let me read,, some of this to you.
• 3:22
  Cheryl: And she says, from the moment I announced I was pregnant, the comments started rolling in hope.
• 3:28
  Cheryl: You're ready to never sleep again.
• 3:30
  Cheryl: Oh, your hair's gonna fall out and just wait until he's a toddler.
• 3:34
  Cheryl: No, just wait until he's a teenager.
• 3:37
  Cheryl: And on and on, she said, I got it from coworkers, from family and from strangers as I saw my belly growing,
• 3:44
  Ellen: but I'm puzzled about why would your hair
• 3:46
  Danae: fall out?
• 3:51
  Cheryl: but I think she's typical of what's happened in our culture and that's what she addresses here.
• 3:56
  Cheryl: That there's been a sweater.
• 3:57
  Cheryl: In the culture and in the way, people talk about parenting with this generation, which is our listeners generation compared to the previous.
• 4:07
  Cheryl: She said was all of this going to happen to me?
• 4:10
  Cheryl: And so she's saying all of this is weighing heavily on her as she is going to something.
• 4:16
  Cheryl: She has no idea what it's going to look like.
• 4:19
  Cheryl: for a long time, motherhood was glorified.
• 4:21
  Cheryl: And when my mom was pregnant and the eighties, it never occurred to her that it would be hard because nobody talked about the challenges.
• 4:29
  Cheryl: She was surprised when we weren't all the perfect children she'd imagined me because that's me.
• 4:37
  Cheryl: That's my generation Now people try to avoid making it seem like it's all snugly babies and well-behaved toddlers We finally started speaking up about the issues, which are being ignored, for example, postpartum depression.
• 4:51
  Cheryl: And she went on saying when it was hard and all this, she goes, oh, no, parenting is what all those people told me.
• 4:58
  Cheryl: It wouldn't be.
• 5:00
  Cheryl: And she said, why didn't anyone warn me about what was good?
• 5:05
  Cheryl: And she ended with this really sweet story of her toddler it's bedtime.
• 5:09
  Cheryl: And he stops.
• 5:10
  Cheryl: And he says goodnight to each of his trucks and to his, uh, stuffed animal.
• 5:16
  Cheryl: And he said, I love you, mommy.
• 5:18
  Cheryl: I love you, dad.
• 5:20
  Cheryl: And she just said, her heart exploded.
• 5:22
  Cheryl: That was the first time her son had ever said, I love you spontaneously.
• 5:28
  Cheryl: Without as a response.
• 5:31
  Cheryl: And so I'm feeling for her because so many moms today struggle, I think, with the same generational thing.
• 5:39
  Cheryl: So I just wanted us to start out by talking about this and looking at parenting and bringing some encouragement to our listeners.
• 5:47
  Cheryl: And I think
• 5:47
  Ellen: bringing balance because really the balance is sometimes parenting is desperately hard and then sometimes parenting is euphorically rewarding and then there's a middle place.
• 6:01
  Ellen: And so to just make blanket statements is just the hard, or it's always good.
• 6:06
  Ellen: Nothing's like that in life.
• 6:07
  Ellen: And I think that realistically, every parent has to stop and go, okay, nothing's perfect.
• 6:14
  Ellen: It's going to be good.
• 6:15
  Ellen: Sometimes it's going to be bad sometimes and it can all happen in the same hour.
• 6:19
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 6:19
  Cheryl: Yes Well, particularly what she described as her mom's generation, I was victim of that, you know, I would say the philosophy that was taught to me and that's all I heard is.
• 6:32
  Cheryl: Good intentional parenting in great kids out.
• 6:36
  Cheryl: Yes, that's true.
• 6:38
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 6:38
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 6:39
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 6:39
  Cheryl: And there's a lot of devastation with that
• 6:41
  Danae: because you have to do it all right, then there's a formula that if you follow it correctly, you get what you want.
• 6:49
  Danae: Now, if you have a bad
• 6:50
  Ellen: year, And you don't follow the formula.
• 6:53
  Ellen: Does that permanently damage them?
• 6:55
  Ellen: You know, I mean, that's what, what starts happening in your head?
• 6:57
  Ellen: I had a bad day to day.
• 6:59
  Ellen: Have I damaged my children forever?
• 7:01
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 7:02
  Cheryl: Over the years, I will say maybe the number one statement I've had from moms saying I'm so afraid I'm ruining them what is the core that makes them.
• 7:16
  Cheryl: Feel that way, because it hasn't been one time
• 7:18
  Danae: I just hear a lot of lack of trust in themselves.
• 7:23
  Danae: Uh, you know, that.
• 7:25
  Danae: They're not sure exactly what to do, or maybe there's so much information out now you can Google anything and there's all kinds of opinions out there.
• 7:35
  Danae: And it's hard to know when you go to bed at night, you know, you've got all these opinions, um, coming at you of did I do it
• 7:43
  Cheryl: right?
• 7:44
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 7:44
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 7:44
  Cheryl: Well, you know, you're right.
• 7:46
  Cheryl: Options are a big thing.
• 7:47
  Cheryl: And so particularly I see it in some of my grown children.
• 7:50
  Cheryl: They're hesitant to make decisions because they always want to hold their options open.
• 7:58
  Cheryl: And so they wait to make a decision or they make a decision where they still have options.
• 8:03
  Cheryl: I would suggest that Steve jobs and iphones that all of this always gives you so many options.
• 8:11
  Cheryl: And so it undermines parenting even with this inundation of information.
• 8:17
  Cheryl: I mean, I have no idea how many parenting podcasts out there ours is the best, right?
• 8:21
  Cheryl: Yeah, of
• 8:22
  Danae: course the parents,
• 8:25
  Ellen: a lot of the core for all of us generationally is fear.
• 8:29
  Ellen: You know, you can be handed the 10 principles of raising children and you're still going to be afraid because it's probably of anything in life.
• 8:40
  Ellen: It's not like you're making a recipe.
• 8:42
  Ellen: It's not like you're being a student in school and here's all the stuff you need to study.
• 8:46
  Ellen: It is so random.
• 8:48
  Ellen: It changes.
• 8:50
  Ellen: You have to be flexible in your thinking and your desires and ideas for your family life.
• 8:57
  Ellen: And we all have that Phantom parent out there.
• 9:00
  Cheryl: What kind of, what do you mean by that?
• 9:02
  Ellen: Well, it's kind of in our minds, what the perfect mom is.
• 9:06
  Ellen: The perfect dad, the perfect family.
• 9:09
  Ellen: It's usually not realistic and it's usually unattainable and we have to be open with ourselves.
• 9:17
  Ellen: Am I being real about my parenting?
• 9:20
  Ellen: I came from a broken home.
• 9:22
  Ellen: So in my mind I started forming a Phantom family.
• 9:26
  Ellen: When I was probably about 10.
• 9:28
  Ellen: When I become a parent, when I do this, this is how it's going to look.
• 9:32
  Ellen: Well, of course it didn't look like that at all.
• 9:34
  Ellen: Once I started parenting.
• 9:36
  Ellen: It just, you know, it was big humans versus
• 9:39
  Danae: little human sometimes, you know, I really thought that I could, like, I love my children enough that they wouldn't have.
• 9:47
  Danae: Problems.
• 9:49
  Danae: I thought I could love them well enough that they wouldn't have self-esteem issues.
• 9:54
  Danae: They wouldn't look in the mirror and think bad about themselves because I, I just adored them and would tell them all the time how wonderful they were.
• 10:04
  Danae: You know, I would set all the right boundaries, do, you know, cook all the right meals, all the things.
• 10:08
  Danae: And it was pretty devastating to me when some of my children started going through, especially maybe.
• 10:15
  Danae: Pre-puberty puberty time and that they were insecure.
• 10:20
  Danae: Yeah.
• 10:20
  Danae: How could they be insecure?
• 10:22
  Danae: They have a mother who loves them so well, because you have
• 10:27
  Ellen: to that's the unit you say that cause you have
• 10:30
  Danae: to, but it was deep things in my children that I realized.
• 10:35
  Danae: I can't love them enough, you know, and I thought, um, we're talking about doing all the things right.
• 10:41
  Danae: And being the perfect parent, you know, and I think that perfect parent in my mind, wasn't as much of the the Norman Rockwell painting or the Pinterest perfect parent.
• 10:50
  Danae: It was more just, I wanted to be there and love them.
• 10:54
  Danae: So that's, that's really hard for a, a new mom to face,
• 10:59
  Cheryl: Buying into the good parenting in good kids out and took on a responsibility that I can't do it the only perfect period ever was God and his children rebelled against him.
• 11:14
  Cheryl: Right.
• 11:14
  Cheryl: He loves perfectly.
• 11:16
  Cheryl: So it was very unrealistic and the big problem is long-term thinking if I just do enough of the right things, I can fix my children.
• 11:28
  Cheryl: I can fix this.
• 11:30
  Cheryl: And like you're saying, when I see brokenness in my children's to realize.
• 11:34
  Cheryl: This is the human condition thinking.
• 11:36
  Cheryl: What, what kind of mother?
• 11:38
  Cheryl: My, that I, I can't love them enough.
• 11:41
  Cheryl: I can't have conversations enough and do the right thing and not say the wrong thing and give them opportunities or not to tweak it on.
• 11:51
  Cheryl: So that they don't have to suffer the pains of being a human being on earth.
• 11:57
  Cheryl: So it is very unrealistic Yes, that's true.
• 12:01
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 12:02
  Danae: that perfect parent Right.
• 12:04
  Danae: then you have something that's positive.
• 12:06
  Danae: You know, I think as a mom, it's like, what do you enjoy doing?
• 12:10
  Danae: What are things that, that you would like to do with your children?
• 12:14
  Danae: I know that doesn't always work and our children are individual humans but sometimes it works that I got, you know, to follow something that, that I enjoyed I have a memory pop up, um, talking about enjoying your children and um, I had a lot of tea parties.
• 12:30
  Danae: I have four girls, one son.
• 12:33
  Danae: He got to play out on the Creek.
• 12:35
  Danae: Cheryl, I believe with your son most of the time.
• 12:38
  Danae: And, um, but my girls, I did a lot of birthday tea parties, Christmas tea parties, because it was something.
• 12:44
  Danae: I enjoyed, Okay.
• 12:47
  Danae: You know, T and I still have a couple of my daughters that are continuing that tradition with their friends or with each other, they'll want to have tea with me.
• 12:57
  Danae: And so just that memory of something I really enjoyed as a parent is sharing something that, that I enjoyed with them and created space, you know, to let them into
• 13:08
  Cheryl: that
• 13:09
  Danae: What is something Alan and Cheryl that you did with your children that you really enjoyed?
• 13:15
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 13:15
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 13:16
  Cheryl: And this is me because I'm different.
• 13:19
  Cheryl: I love nature.
• 13:20
  Cheryl: I love outdoors.
• 13:21
  Cheryl: And so we camped.
• 13:23
  Cheryl: And one of the things, when bill was alive, we will.
• 13:27
  Cheryl: Go camping as much as we could with good weather.
• 13:29
  Cheryl: And we like to get as far away from everybody, but still have as much comfort as we could because we had a big family.
• 13:36
  Cheryl: And then after he was gone, I would do the same thing, but we would go to a cabin.
• 13:43
  Cheryl: And so in particular, at a state park here in Oklahoma, beautiful time in the fall and it was way away from everybody else.
• 13:49
  Cheryl: We never saw anybody.
• 13:51
  Cheryl: It was like we had our own mountain and woods by ourselves That's the wonder.
• 13:55
  Cheryl: Oh, That's wonderful.
• 13:57
  Cheryl: And I kind of like, I felt like I took my parenting hat off, left it at the front door and drove away and just enjoyed my children.
• 14:08
  Cheryl: And so we would stay up night together, we'd play games or we would do whatever they wanted to do.
• 14:13
  Cheryl: And, It brownies for lunch it was just that freedom to just enjoy them.
• 14:19
  Cheryl: What about you?
• 14:20
  Cheryl: Well, not camping.
• 14:21
  Cheryl: I know
• 14:21
  Ellen: that I'm not a camper and learn that very early, I'm trying to think of.
• 14:26
  Ellen: I don't know.
• 14:26
  Ellen: I feel like there wasn't like one specific thing because I was the kind of mom that I didn't like monotony and I didn't like too much routine, so I would go maybe three weeks and be consistent mom.
• 14:39
  Ellen: And then my mind would explode and I would just tell everybody, okay, and then we're just going to go.
• 14:43
  Ellen: So whatever goofing off at that moment meant to me..
• 14:47
  Ellen: cause I'm very spontaneous what I might load everybody up in the van and just go somewhere and have fun.
• 14:54
  Ellen: The only camping I did like was when we lived in Hawaii.
• 14:59
  Danae: Oh.
• 15:03
  Ellen: But you know, in Hawaii, once you live there, you, you know, we lived there for years.
• 15:06
  Ellen: You, you have to regular life again, but the.
• 15:10
  Ellen: The military had a whole section of beach that belong to them.
• 15:14
  Ellen: And you had cabins.
• 15:15
  Ellen: That to me was fun because I'm a California girl.
• 15:18
  Ellen: I was raised by the ocean.
• 15:19
  Ellen: And that to me is when I really come alive, I love to be by the ocean anywhere.
• 15:25
  Ellen: So we would get a cabin.
• 15:26
  Ellen: The kids could run wild because you could see them, but the ocean was literally.
• 15:31
  Ellen: 20 feet from the door.
• 15:32
  Ellen: So
• 15:33
  Cheryl: nice.
• 15:34
  Cheryl: Nice.
• 15:35
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 15:36
  Cheryl: I think you need to figure out how you can take the forum and we can do a remote recording when that be fun.
• 15:44
  Cheryl: It would be really wonderful.
• 15:46
  Danae: I've got to mention one more thing that I really enjoy.
• 15:50
  Danae: Doing with my kids.
• 15:51
  Danae: I loved reading out loud to my, even when they could already read.
• 15:57
  Danae: Yeah, we would all circle around.
• 16:00
  Danae: One of my favorite books is the habit.
• 16:03
  Danae: I've read it a couple of times as an adult just to read it again.
• 16:06
  Danae: But I loved those times.
• 16:08
  Danae: Absolutely my kids.
• 16:10
  Cheryl: One of the ways my kids describe it is it's like, we all shared the adventures together because when you read a book together, there is a shared history that's different from listening or watching something So I would agree with you some of the.
• 16:27
  Cheryl: Most beautiful heart memories are the books that my kids and I have read together and shared, and they'll make reference to it even
• 16:34
  Danae: now.
• 16:34
  Danae: Right.
• 16:35
  Danae: Mine too.
• 16:36
  Danae: And I remember if you think about how do you keep little kids still?
• 16:38
  Danae: You probably all have examples, but.
• 16:41
  Danae: The sun would always have all of his matchbox cars lined up and playing.
• 16:46
  Danae: So they got to kind of do whatever they wanted to do if that was coloring or playing with toys quietly.
• 16:52
  Danae: And it
• 16:53
  Ellen: was listening to that in the background, you reading to this really good.
• 16:57
  Cheryl: And now I do it over zoom with my grandchildren in India.
• 17:01
  Cheryl: And, uh, actually we're reading indeed in the cupboard.
• 17:04
  Cheryl: Oh, that's one of my favorites.
• 17:06
  Cheryl: And this enjoying your children, you know, the negative.
• 17:10
  Cheryl: Doesn't talk about enjoying your children and even good parenting and good kids out.
• 17:15
  Cheryl: It was a formula, not saying, try to enjoy your children.
• 17:19
  Cheryl: Well, the children
• 17:20
  Ellen: become the object.
• 17:22
  Ellen: That you pour the training into you do to them, right.
• 17:25
  Ellen: To them rather than be with them and learn about them, learn about their personalities, learn about what they think is important.
• 17:34
  Ellen: I mean, obviously you still have to do training if that's what you want to call it, because that's just helping them navigate the world more easily.
• 17:43
  Ellen: It's
• 17:44
  Danae: part of the.
• 17:45
  Danae: Yeah, we have to help them know how to use a fork so that they're not in
• 17:50
  Ellen: public and, you know, 16 with their hands to be
• 17:54
  Danae: the way to have a friend be kind.
• 17:56
  Danae: And so we train them in that with us and with their siblings.
• 18:00
  Danae: But
• 18:00
  Cheryl: maybe if we do a grammar lesson, maybe one of the ways to learn, to enjoy our children more in the midst of all of this.
• 18:08
  Cheryl: Is to change that preposition from doing it to them or indulging doing it for them to doing it with them.
• 18:17
  Danae: Yeah.
• 18:17
  Danae: Yeah.
• 18:18
  Danae: And I think that's my example with the tea parties is just that I was enjoying that.
• 18:22
  Danae: With them, we were having this together
• 18:26
  Cheryl: and we have to do the parenting of the training so we can get to the point of enjoying them because if they are left to themselves we can't have them calm enough to enjoy life with them.
• 18:39
  Danae: So one of my purposes back to the tea party or even dinner, breakfast, lunch dinner was, I would tell my kids, I don't want you to be able to eat with any kind of person in any setting, you know, any culture.
• 18:54
  Danae: I want you to be able to have the manners, to be able to just feel confident to eat with anyone.
• 19:01
  Danae: If that's the president of the United States that you, you could do that.
• 19:04
  Ellen: It's not life altering, but it saves you a little bit of discomfort and embarrassment because you have a base of knowledge.
• 19:11
  Danae: And so I did have my lecture, why behind it so we can have the training and the why and the fun and the enjoyment,
• 19:21
  Cheryl: but it doesn't all come at
• 19:22
  Danae: once.
• 19:23
  Danae: Oh no, no.
• 19:24
  Danae: It takes a lot of time.
• 19:25
  Danae: You start, you know, when they're little
• 19:27
  Cheryl: So what you're saying you did is look at the big picture and try to equip them.
• 19:33
  Cheryl: Saying, Hey, let's do this.
• 19:35
  Cheryl: right with them.
• 19:36
  Cheryl: One of the thing I'm thinking about, maybe a mom that's listening and.
• 19:40
  Cheryl: Uh, ha there's no way I can get to that because they're so stressed.
• 19:44
  Cheryl: So one of my hearts of why we're doing this as moms, we want to take some of the stress out, maybe give you some technique or some ideas or encouragement to distress you as a mom, because let's go back to what I had that weight of thinking.
• 20:03
  Cheryl: I had the responsibility of using the right formula.
• 20:06
  Cheryl: To have perfect parenting.
• 20:08
  Cheryl: So my kids would be perfect.
• 20:09
  Cheryl: And while I'm watching myself fail and to the degree, I could overcome that with realism.
• 20:16
  Cheryl: I could be de-stressed enough to relax and love my children more how can I love you better in this?
• 20:22
  Cheryl: I wish that had been.
• 20:24
  Cheryl: The, uh, mantra or the slogan that I heard instead of thinking, okay, what good parenting thing do I need to do now to help my child?
• 20:34
  Cheryl: And we've made it pass or
• 20:35
  Ellen: fail to, you know, as the moms we've said, okay, oh, there, cause you touched on it my child did this.
• 20:42
  Ellen: Where did I fail?
• 20:43
  Ellen: You know?
• 20:44
  Ellen: Cause we look at everything is, oh gosh, I didn't do that correctly.
• 20:47
  Ellen: This was a fail rather than no, it isn't pass or fail.
• 20:51
  Ellen: It's relationship.
• 20:53
  Cheryl: And we can start all over again.
• 20:55
  Cheryl: And then, that would be the question I would say, how can I love this child better in this right now, whether it's a toddler losing it or a teenager in the midst of the angst and emotions, and that can
• 21:10
  Ellen: become a life philosophy.
• 21:11
  Ellen: Because that spills over to everything.
• 21:13
  Ellen: How can I love my spouse or that special person in my life?
• 21:18
  Ellen: How do I treat that person in the parking lot?
• 21:20
  Ellen: That's, you know, having a fit, you know, and so, our children will pick up on that.
• 21:25
  Ellen: They'll see us.
• 21:25
  Ellen: How do I treat people and love people better?
• 21:30
  Danae: Yeah.
• 21:30
  Danae: I was just having a conversation with one of my daughters earlier today.
• 21:34
  Danae: In fact, we're talking about her and, and her boyfriend and talking about like, instead of being critical to someone about like, this is how I need you to do this differently is to really catch him in something he's doing that.
• 21:51
  Danae: Enjoy, you know, so with parenting, and I think I talked about this another time where instead of telling your toddler who keeps standing in the chair, sit down, sit down, sit down.
• 22:03
  Danae: Please, please put your bottom in the seat, put your, put your bottom in the seat.
• 22:06
  Danae: Instead of you're doing that wrong, you know, it's doing that positive.
• 22:10
  Danae: It's catching someone and looking for in your children, what are they doing well, what are they doing?
• 22:16
  Danae: Right.
• 22:17
  Danae: And then really talk a lot about that.
• 22:20
  Danae: I just think our brains work that way and that way, something must light up in our brain when someone goes, oh, that makes me feel so good when you do that.
• 22:28
  Danae: Or that was so kind.
• 22:29
  Danae: And so.
• 22:31
  Danae: Concentrating on the strengths and the positive things that your children are doing.
• 22:36
  Danae: I think it helps us enjoy them more
• 22:38
  Cheryl: too well.
• 22:39
  Cheryl: And there's positive, gentle parenting.
• 22:42
  Cheryl: A lot of people promote that and talk about it.
• 22:45
  Cheryl: And I love this.
• 22:46
  Cheryl: But that doesn't mean we're not coaching and parenting and directing and helping them and letting them do whatever they want.
• 22:53
  Cheryl: No,
• 22:53
  Danae: we're doing it in a positive way versus always telling them every time they're doing something.
• 22:58
  Danae: No, no,
• 22:59
  Cheryl (2): no, no, no.
• 23:00
  Cheryl (2): Instead here's an alternative.
• 23:02
  Danae: Yeah.
• 23:03
  Danae: In fact, I read on an Instagram post today from the common parent at the end of the day, all of parenting comes down to a relationship that you have with another little heart.
• 23:16
  Cheryl: That is fantastic.
• 23:18
  Cheryl: That's what we want moms.
• 23:20
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 23:20
  Cheryl: Just to wrap this up.
• 23:21
  Cheryl: That's what we're saying.
• 23:23
  Cheryl: Think about it.
• 23:24
  Cheryl: Say it again today.
• 23:25
  Cheryl: And let's just say it one more time, because we're trying to help, not only, like Lucy that wrote the article, but to ensure your child.
• 23:35
  Cheryl: And just give you a fresh feel of what you get to do again today.
• 23:41
  Danae: So at the end of the day, all of parenting comes down to a relationship that you have with another little heart.
• 23:50
  Cheryl: That's amazing.
• 23:51
  Cheryl: So moms remember hang in there, keep loving that little heart came persevering with that little heart because It's worth it.