Latest / The Curve / RTC115: Work-life balance & working out what's important with Sarah Lindsay.

Transcript

RTC115: Work-life balance & working out what's important with Sarah Lindsay. · The Curve

0:00
Welcome to Raising the Curth, a podcast designed to teach you everything you need to know
0:05
to be better with your money.
0:07
And the wise words of Amy Shurma were slipping carrots into the brownie recipe.
0:11
I don't really get the saying.
0:14
It's kind of like eating vegetables that actually taste good.
0:17
You know, I'm like, still not ready to eat.
0:19
Are you on the script?
0:20
It's basically like saying, investing in finance can be boring, but it totally doesn't
0:26
need to be.
0:27
OK, OK, so we're making it fun by putting the carrot.
0:31
OK, the vegetables are just good for you.
0:33
It's the brownie recipe.
0:34
OK, we got there.
0:35
OK, OK.
0:36
Well, you've really got a finance mate.
0:38
Yeah, one of us has to.
0:40
This is a joke.
0:41
OK, come and learn alongside me from Vick Harris, ex-fun manager.
0:45
Well, I'm going to ask all the questions that you wish you could.
0:48
And I'm going to be eating all the brownie you wish you could.
0:50
No, it's so not the joke, Vick.
0:53
OK, just come and talk and learn and laugh with us.
0:56
Because together, we really can raise the curve.
1:01
We have our back by popular demand.
1:05
Biggest, most listened to podcast guest of 2023.
1:10
Woohoo!
1:11
So Sarah Lindsay raising the curve episode 70, if you have not listened,
1:15
is our one of our most listened to episodes ever.
1:18
It's called embracing your broken pieces and buying expensive shows with Sarah Lindsay.
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So she is originally from the UK.
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She moved to New Zealand with her partner several years ago
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and started an incredible business called Sala, which we both love.
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Absolutely love.
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Big fans.
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And she's got the gorgeous little girl.
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Cool, yeah.
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But Sarah's so open with the way that she deals with money,
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with business, with relationships, with everything.
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And we wanted to get her back on to talk more about building a business
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from nothing, because it's one of those things often,
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I think you perceive in order to be successful in business.
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You need a huge amount of capital.
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You need to know all the right people.
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But this is a really inspiring story about the idea of starting
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with nothing and being able to build something incredibly lucrative.
2:08
Yeah.
2:08
And I think there's also a perception that there is a lack of person
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behind the business.
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And she talks a lot about creating a really community lead,
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safe space, all the little things she does
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and how she always puts her customers first.
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And yeah, I think it's just interesting
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when you see such success or a beautiful space
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or a place you go regularly or something.
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It's really good reminder to remember
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there's always someone behind that.
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There's a person to the brand or to the company.
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It would work very hard to bring that to life.
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Yeah.
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You'll love it.
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And if you haven't listened to the first part,
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one of this conversation,
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it's episode 70,
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you're raising the curve,
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episode 70, highly recommend going back to listen.
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This is Round 2.
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Do you know the only podcast guess we've had for Round 2?
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Carlight to disappoint you.
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No, ma'am.
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Thank you.
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Sorry.
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With your podcast that we did with you last year for anyone
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that has not listened,
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it's raised in the curve,
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episode 70.
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And it's called,
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it's quite a dramatic title, actually.
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Embracing of broken pieces and buying expensive shoes
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with Sarah Lindsay.
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This was downloaded nearly 10,000 times.
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Whoa.
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I've never noticed.
3:23
I've never noticed.
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Yeah, I know.
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I added a bit of GST.
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It was about 9,000 times.
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We round up.
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We round up.
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A lot.
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And we had so many messages about it.
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It was one of the most open,
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beautiful conversations that we've had.
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And I would love to know what the feedback you got.
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What has anyone said to you?
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I actually got so much feedback after it.
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And me and Josh sometimes talk about it.
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Actually has been a really pivotal time in the studio
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because I think that Sarah has grown so much in such a short
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amount of time that everyone just assumed that we had a trust fund.
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And I think people listening, not only to the fact we didn't have a trust fund,
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but how hectic my childhood was.
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I think people just were like,
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Oh, wow.
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Like, you've actually really had to build this business.
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And I think there was definitely,
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like a lot of people went out of their way to say,
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you know, sort of,
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thank you for creating this in the community.
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But I think a lot of people had just assumed that we were being given
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like money to do solar and didn't really realise
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how much sacrifice we were making.
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Do you think that's why you didn't share the story publicly for a long time
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because you didn't want to be defined by that?
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100%.
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I think that.
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So I obviously, all my friends that I got was,
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no, that's sort of Josh knows, that's right.
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But when I said,
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told that story for you guys on the curve,
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which I almost didn't even mean to.
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It just was the right moment.
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I realised I hadn't shared it the whole time I'd lived in New Zealand,
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which is so strange that like,
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it's, I'd become so separate from it.
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But I also realised,
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it was actually very cathartic and I felt as though it was closing on loop
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for me and it was really a part of the healing journey.
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I didn't realise that that had to happen,
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that I had to integrate the parts of my life and my London and Auckland life.
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But I realised I actually, unconsciously,
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deliberately hadn't shared that story because I felt shamed
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that people would define me by that story and that my,
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I wouldn't be able to build a story of such a dramatic backdrop.
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And I suppose come into the area of Ponsermy,
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being the first place I lived in New Zealand,
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without even knowing all the politics of every suburb,
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and you know,
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you can feel the wealth.
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And I think I felt really embarrassed that I was coming without it.
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And I think there's also an element of respect
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for anyone who now goes to Sala,
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or goes to your community space
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and they can see the like,
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literal blood sweat and tears that you've poured in today.
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There's no blood on the ground.
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There's no blood on the ground.
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But in terms of like, it gives a business,
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a human element or like, and it gives,
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you know, it's not just a business that is actually a soul behind it business
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and you have put in so much effort and sacrifice so much
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to create that space for everyone to enjoy.
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I don't know, it's, but I respect that you didn't share it.
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Yeah, totally.
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Because like, a lot of people,
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you know, when you watch those shows that like,
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Britain's got talent and there's someone,
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she's like, you know, I was like, I lost my job when I was four.
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You know, like, whatever.
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The life of the elements.
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Yeah, whereas I think you purposefully leaned on your skill set,
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which is being an incredible yoga teacher,
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creating a space that was defying the odds of not having resource
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or a network to build a successful business without being like,
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poor me, look what I've been through.
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And I think that's incredibly admirable.
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Did you find post the podcast that people were a bit more,
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I guess, respectful and could now see Sarah as,
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you're having that human element attached to it.
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It is very much your baby and my everything that you've put into it
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and what you were wanting to create.
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Do you think there was like an element of respect
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rather than this is just a business that's been born out of?
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So people think, oh $30 for yoga class, fuck that.
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Do you think there's been maybe a change of perspective
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on spending that money when you understand the backstory
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of someone's business and how much goes in behind the scenes?
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It's not just turning up and telling someone to go into a downward dog, you know.
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I think definitely in the short time, both those things,
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I think that people have very short memories.
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And you don't have to walk out.
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We really need to.
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You're right.
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I need a different origin story this time.
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That's a little sad ass.
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You can be like, I'm like a witch.
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It's like, hi.
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I'm a bit of a tenancy, you know.
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You know, like people are so, you know,
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embedded in their own stories that there's a very short timeframe
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that people have capacity even to change behaviour habits
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and, you know, I'm also probably within the community
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quite a polarising person in general
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because I have such strong boundaries.
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And when you are used to being a consumer
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with businesses that think the customers are always right,
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someone having boundaries just seems like
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you're not being treated very nicely.
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It's, you know, a symbiotic relationship.
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Can you speak more to that?
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Because boundaries, I think,
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whether it's relationships, friendships,
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personal boundaries, business boundaries,
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is kind of becoming a new buzzword.
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But I don't think it's been defined very well
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and I don't think a lot of people understand.
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So could you maybe speak to how you have implemented
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some of those boundaries within business
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and how it's affected things?
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Because I remember in our last podcast
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you're speaking about making a fear
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if someone didn't turn up to a class
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and how people were like, this is ridiculous.
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Would that be an example of a boundary?
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100%.
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And I think that you have to boundaries within a workplace.
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I think also feed into the sort of business
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that you want to run the flow of it also.
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For example, you know, there's this concept
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that I think was never meant to be taken so literally
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of the customers always right.
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I would like to speak as someone that believes
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the customer is not always right
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and sometimes they are very wrong.
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But it wasn't supposed to be taken so literally.
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And it was sort of meant to just empower customers
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in a time where they weren't giving much respect
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like in the 70s.
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But for example, you have to think about the fullness
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of your business.
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So a boundary for me is you cannot enter a class late
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because that's disruptive to the teacher
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and to other people in the class.
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So the boundary is you cannot enter late.
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So if someone is so used to...
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I saw the post about that the other day
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and it was like circled and it was like,
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if you were late, it was like, oh, it was like someone's obviously.
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And I'm like, it's like piss that off again.
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Yeah.
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But not fear enough.
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But you know, and so you've got to think
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about customer service.
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What is customer service?
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If I let this person in and they get their own way
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and they feel like they've received good customer service,
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what about the other thought you people having
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to shuffle them up even though they made the effort to come on time
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and the teacher having to start the class again
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and everyone losing four minutes of the class
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because everything gets disrupted.
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So who got the good customer service?
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And so you can't please everyone.
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And so I think you have to set those boundaries.
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If there's no boundary, it's like try and make it on time.
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Then no one will try and make it on time.
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Everyone will try and just make it fit their time.
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On the other side of time, I know I won't make it,
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but I'm going to just try.
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And so it's making people responsible for themselves
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but also responsible to the community,
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which is something that I really push.
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It is a constant conditioning, reconditioning.
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It's not every month for themselves when you enter this building.
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We live in a society that teaches us
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that only one of us can get the gold star.
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But actually, we can all get the gold stars if you all just come on time.
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I will happily give all of you a gold star.
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I think that worked really well with the star chart, by the way.
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If you could maybe, which one are I think?
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In the studio.
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So be star chart.
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I find that a real struggle, though,
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especially being a small business and starting out is that
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every customer is deserves your respect.
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And I find it really difficult bowing down to,
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or not bowing down to one customer,
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when I'm so scared that they could go out and cancel us
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or make a big song and dance,
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and it could be way more detrimental than just being like,
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oh, let them in.
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Or the email example we got the other day.
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Someone emailed us, being like, hey,
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just want to let you know that I can't read your emails.
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The color scheme is not great.
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And I was like, this is so classic me, people, please.
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Panic, send it to our whole team.
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And I was like, who else can't read the email?
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I was like, calm down, mate.
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It's one person.
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I was like, we've been sending this to thousands of people
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for like months.
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But I was also like, the time that it would have taken.
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Now we have to pay all those people that have read the email
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to, you know, in terms of how to do the thing.
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I was like, oh, now they've just like taken time working
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with something else to read.
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I was like, oh, my friends were so differently.
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But we also actually, we got another email the other day.
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And this kind of comes back to the whole customer's service thing.
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Because I was like, she's like, hey, I didn't get any email
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about the live and the live that we had.
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Which is for our online course.
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For my course moment.
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And I was sitting there and I checked.
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And I was like, nope, she's got them.
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And she's opened them.
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And she's opened both of them.
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And she's, you know, you can see when the email is open.
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I was like, how do I then go back to someone like that
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and say, oh, I just say, yeah.
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Well, no, I just respond saying, well, based on what I can see
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from my end, here's when you open the email.
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That's what I said.
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So my boundaries are, you know, I'm so sorry.
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Maybe you didn't end up in the stand.
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Yes, actually, I think it was it.
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And I was like, oh, gosh, I need to just like stand.
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And then I was really kind of pissed off of myself.
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And then, but yeah, I'm so scared about me.
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You know, when you've gone against your own boundaries
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and core values because you feel icky about the interaction.
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Yeah.
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You know, of course, you're going to ignite that inner fire
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when you have to stamp down the boundary.
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But it's better in the short term to have those
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frictitious kind of conversations with tricky people
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than the long term of getting burnt out
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because you are just constantly saying the same things.
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And you have a few points on that that I would like to add.
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It's kind of just about boundaries and like what they are.
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I just also wanted before we get into your list,
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which no doubt will be very helpful.
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We were always like, give us feedback, let us know.
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And we actually do mean that, by the way,
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it's not that we're like, oh, we got this email from someone saying
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change.
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Oh, sorry, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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It's more just the fact of knowing, like,
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when to action something and when to hold your own or.
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And you're right.
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So I was like, boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.
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And it's like, yeah, I've got boundaries, but do I?
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Yeah, how do I do?
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How do I know they are?
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How do I see them?
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How do I control them?
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It's like, yeah, I feel like I like, yeah, I've got boundaries.
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And then very quickly, I don't.
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I think boundaries, I personally see boundaries as boundaries aren't
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being mean or, you know, being selfish.
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It's here's where I end and here's where you begin.
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Here's the resources that I have, both energetically,
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emotionally, physically, financially.
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Here's where I can meet you.
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And here's where you have to meet me back.
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And there's a membrane between them.
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Otherwise, if there is no boundary and they can just constantly
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flood all the way into you, taking all of your resource,
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extracting all of your energy, there's nothing left to create.
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And so the thing that they want from you will actually disintegrate.
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You can't run the podcast because you've had to apply to every
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customer service email, giving them 10 out of 10, even though
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actually these people aren't reading the email properly.
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You don't have the energy to do the next one.
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So who really would?
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And so I think, you know, and it's implementing boundaries
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in a way that is clear.
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There are times that customer will message and you're like,
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oh, that actually wasn't worded very clearly.
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Thank you for showing me that so I can create a new system
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that's more helpful for more people in the future.
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My little customer service boundary list is setting boundaries
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with customers which will also help to empower other members
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and staff.
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Everyone knows where they stand, so no one's trying to like
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dobb each other in, which is something that definitely happens.
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Like, you know, two members of staff, awesome, three,
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someone tries to gang up on the other one.
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It's just survival of the fit is out here.
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Humans just work.
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Be willing to walk away, like not everyone's your customer.
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Like, you don't need every single person.
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We do.
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If someone is very frititious and forces,
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we need to do it quickly.
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No, you're right.
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And like, I'm going to like your yoga class or your podcast.
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Or your course.
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Everyone, like, you know, not everyone's your customer.
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That's okay.
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And in fact, if you try and please everyone,
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the people that are really your people who will be loyal to you
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and have the same vision and respect the work you're doing,
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believe because I'll be like, Oh, it's dope.
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It's been diluted because you're having to dilute to be the mainstream
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because you're trying to please everyone.
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So again, like by not setting the boundary in the short term,
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you've kept Joe blogs who emails you every day can play in.
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But you've lost Jen blogs who really loved your work
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and now has to go find another community
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and really needed that work.
16:38
Set boundaries in writing.
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Say this with yourself.
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For the community to say these are the roles.
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This is the etiquette.
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These are the boundaries.
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This is how we meet one another.
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You're like, when you do this, you know,
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with ourselves internally.
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I think personally, I need to do like financial boundaries as well.
16:55
And like personal boundaries, yeah, work boundaries.
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Oh, God.
16:59
Are you guys going to be like, really?
17:00
You know, so many boundaries and rules.
17:02
You know, I knew guys were also have very different boundaries.
17:06
So it's also recognizing each others.
17:08
You know, some people don't mind.
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It's like 18 or 16.
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I know.
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I only work from 16 to 10 a.m.
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So I've to be like, I only sat work it.
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You're like, yeah, boundaries were misaligned so much.
17:20
Clothes, it's done.
17:22
And then be clear with your brand and ethos and culture
17:25
and solidify that with your team
17:27
and take them on the journey.
17:28
So if your team members aren't online with the boundaries
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and I'm going to give you an example of a boundary.
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Every single day, I finish work at 3 p.m.
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because I pick up a feeling.
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And when I pick up a feeling, I do not respond to emails.
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Because she did not ask to be born.
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I decided to bring her into the world.
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And so fast and foremost, bringing up the next generation
17:51
of awake people is what's important.
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More important than what anything else they can do at Sala.
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And so that's my priority.
18:00
And so every day at 3 p.m. I am not answering.
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Sala could be on fire.
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And I'm out of office.
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Sorry.
18:08
I could learn from that.
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And so I'm back on the clock at 7 once you go down to bed.
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So then I work from 7 p.m.
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But that's my boundary.
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When I'm with a feeling, I'm a mother.
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So someone got my phone number.
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This has done a couple of weeks ago.
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So I got my phone number and call to I picked up the phone.
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It's under 3.
18:26
Yeah.
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A very unmillennial of me to pick up a random phone number.
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But I don't know.
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I know.
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But I picked up a phone.
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Who is it?
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I've got a Sala voucher and I don't know how to use it online.
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I'm like, hey, can you just email Hello at Sala at students.
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So I'll get back to you.
18:42
I'm like, I did.
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I was like, oh, sorry.
18:44
No one's got back to you when half an hour ago.
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Someone's calling me because they haven't received a response
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to their email half an hour ago.
18:50
It's 5.30 p.m. anyway.
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And I was like, well, I'm sorry.
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I'm actually not working right now.
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But I'll look it into it tomorrow.
18:57
And she's like, well, I'm talking to you.
18:59
Can't you just do it now?
19:00
As I are, I'm actually with my daughter.
19:02
I don't work after three.
19:03
And she was like, well, you should put that online.
19:05
You're working hours.
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And I just said to her straight on the phone,
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I was like, I don't need to tell you or ask permission to be a mother.
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I am a mother before I'm a worker.
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And I just hang up on her.
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She'll never come back.
19:17
I've lost that customer.
19:18
You know, there's a study that says one toxic,
19:21
very high performing person is worse for your business
19:24
than multiple low performing but invested people.
19:28
Just takes one toxic person to fuck everything up.
19:31
So you've got to push them out.
19:32
What happens if it's your business partner?
19:34
Get her out.
19:35
All right.
19:37
Okay.
19:38
I'd love to talk to you about the capitalist business.
19:41
Sorry.
19:42
Do you have to leave us?
19:43
No, it was just like that conversation.
19:44
I'm like, I hands down.
19:45
Would have dropped everything.
19:46
Locked on.
19:47
And being like, sorry.
19:48
Yeah.
19:49
I'm going to be the customer.
19:50
And that person would have spent her $50 voucher.
19:52
And she would have never come back anyway.
19:54
So you did all my effort for $50.
19:56
And it's not about the money.
19:58
You know, I know it's easy to say.
20:00
But the thing is, I got into this work.
20:02
I came from nothing.
20:03
I'm going to end up as nothing.
20:05
When my bones are in the ground, I'm going to have nothing either.
20:08
I don't really care about what I make in the middle.
20:11
But what's your legacy?
20:12
You know, what's legacy?
20:14
I don't need to leave a yacht behind or has.
20:16
My legacy will be my children saying,
20:18
my mom really cared about people.
20:21
My mom really wanted to help people connect with their true purpose.
20:25
And my mom was at every dance rehearsal.
20:29
And every after work activity, no matter what was happening at work.
20:33
And that's my legacy.
20:35
Shhh.
20:36
I'm like, I've got some service thinking to do.
20:40
I've been really tiny years.
20:42
I've seen a really confronting day.
20:44
I would like to take a step backwards to talk about the idea of capitalism.
20:50
Business, family connection.
20:53
How do all of those things coexist in a way that allows you to have a thriving business
21:00
from a financial aspect as well as?
21:04
Like, I think what I really struggle with with the curve,
21:07
and I don't know if there's other business owners,
21:09
or if it doesn't, you don't even have to be in business.
21:11
It's just work and capitalism and family and life.
21:16
How can we live in the society that is currently existing for us
21:22
to need to earn money, to spend money to live out?
21:26
Like, I feel sometimes exhausted.
21:29
And I can go one way or the other.
21:31
I can either quit the curve, go and live in a commune in the middle of Mexico
21:34
and meditate for my entire life.
21:36
Who's that?
21:37
Or I struggle to sit on my meditation cushion.
21:40
And I struggle to connect with myself within a business element.
21:44
And I just wonder, given the fact that your entire business model
21:48
is based on connecting people, do you ever struggle with that push and pull?
21:53
So I've got two answers.
21:55
They've kind of feed into the rest of our, the irony that I'm talking about,
21:59
like, capitalism.
22:00
I'm wearing, like, these lent earrings from the veterans, like, huge diamonds.
22:04
But, you know, that's the juxtaposition of my vast personality,
22:07
that I can be everything it wants.
22:09
And so, you know, that's everything that's been human.
22:13
So, I've got two things.
22:15
One is a motto I live my whole life by is, you can do anything, but not everything.
22:20
That goes not only into work of I work in sprints.
22:24
Sorry, and there's a sprint.
22:26
What is a sprint?
22:27
So I work in three months.
22:29
In three months, sprints.
22:30
And so, right now, my current sprint is in studio upgrades.
22:35
So we're doing a scan toggle system,
22:38
I'm going to put a rather than keys.
22:40
I'm going on to a connect app.
22:42
The sprint is the idea that she sections her work into three month focuses.
22:46
Okay.
22:47
And I work.
22:48
And I work.
22:49
I'm gonna focus on just this.
22:50
Don't even talk to me about recruiting or teaching apps.
22:52
But I tell the team.
22:53
And I tell them what's the next one is so that we're in the sprint.
22:56
So anything you need in the sprint, I will do now.
22:59
But if you message me about the next sprint or something else,
23:02
I'm not even responding.
23:03
I'll leave you on read.
23:04
So that's my boundary.
23:05
But so I can do this sprint really well.
23:08
And thoroughly, this is the sprint.
23:10
If when I get to that one, you go, oh, by the way,
23:12
I wanted that, well, you're going to have to wait until I come back around.
23:14
So that one is out.
23:16
And so that just makes my work manageable.
23:19
As manageable, it's unsustainable.
23:22
As much as it can be as a one-person running a studio
23:26
that has 100 classes a week, 30 instructors, 10 receptionists,
23:32
thousands of people emailing.
23:35
It's not sustainable.
23:37
Like Josh, actually, right now is in conversations with his work
23:41
to go to four days a week in his work, one day a week at Zala.
23:45
Amazing.
23:46
Yes.
23:47
Zala is going to have the biggest glow up when an actual hard-working person is in there.
23:52
It's going to be so bad.
23:54
We're not doing that.
23:56
Josh is going to really, really solidify it.
24:00
I love Josh.
24:01
I only met him the other day for the first time.
24:03
He brought us by the cocktail and then just left us to it.
24:06
That was kind of bad.
24:07
Sorry.
24:08
Cool.
24:09
Who are you?
24:10
He's actually also going to sit down and have a chat.
24:12
You know, it's not just like, hey, how are you good?
24:14
Yeah.
24:15
Yeah.
24:16
He's great.
24:17
He's unbranded.
24:18
He really works for the sprint.
24:19
Yes.
24:20
So back to the idea.
24:24
So you said you had two answers.
24:26
That's the first one.
24:27
You can do anything but not everything.
24:29
And that goes not only into what flows, like the sprints and like what you can manage
24:34
at a time, but it goes into the fullness of your life.
24:38
So you can earn probably a million dollars.
24:41
If that's really what you want to do, I believe if all of us really prioritise and put all
24:47
of your energy into making money and just regarded anything else, social life, relationships,
24:53
family, health, you will make that money.
24:57
You will do it.
24:58
However, what are you sacrificing?
25:01
That's okay as long as you are honest with yourself and you don't get phoma when that
25:05
guy over there has got a beautiful family of three and like, damn, I never had kids.
25:10
If that's what you want now, will you prioritise?
25:12
You can do anything but not everything.
25:14
So who are you?
25:16
What life do you want to live and what do you want?
25:19
A doctor has to sacrifice a lot and he makes a lot of money in the end.
25:24
A school teacher doesn't make as much, but hopefully they get a better life balance.
25:28
Unfortunately, I don't think that's probably true right now.
25:31
But you know, so I, my core values, the life that I want to live, I prioritise my daughter
25:39
and my female friendships.
25:40
These are things that are really important to me.
25:43
My friends text me, I want to be able to go, I don't want to make a million dollars.
25:48
That's not my priority and I probably won't ever make a million dollars because I haven't
25:52
prioritised it.
25:53
I'm not going to moan.
25:54
I don't have any money though that I haven't made this million dollars because I can do
25:59
anything but not everything.
26:01
How do you want to live?
26:03
What's be deliberate in the life that you're living?
26:05
How do I get there and what do I want?
26:08
I would like a business that 20 years from now, people say, oh, I teach yoga.
26:15
I actually got into yoga, a place called solar.
26:17
I quit my corporate job and actually I now do this other thing that I thought was just
26:24
a hobby.
26:25
I actually got the inspiration from the community that I was at the time, this place called
26:28
solar.
26:29
That's when I look in 20 years of my life, they're the conversations that I would like
26:33
to be had in the community, rather than like, hey, guys, come visit me in Hanbei, I've
26:37
got a huge pool.
26:39
That's not what gets me out of bed and that's okay.
26:42
However, if you're someone and that is what you want, that's okay too.
26:46
You'll be honest about it, say it out loud, be like, I'm on a fucking pool and I'm going
26:50
to make it.
26:51
Don't be all coy and half-handed about it, be like, here's what I want and that's okay.
26:56
But no, you're going to have to let go of something else.
26:59
Don't moan that your husband is always at golf because you're always at work and I feel
27:05
disconnected in my race, well, if you've chosen to work 60 hour weeks to get your pool,
27:11
it's fine, but don't be fomo about what might not have happened because of that.
27:16
So be deliberate in the life you're living and make sure it really is hidden to where
27:21
you want to go.
27:22
I'm not saying you need to prioritize family, I don't think we should all be having children
27:26
actually for the environment, sake, I don't think everyone needs to get married.
27:30
I think they're men are really annoying in a perfect world, I would just have one that
27:34
comes to visit me and then leaves, that's fine.
27:37
And so you don't need all of those things at home, like, you're not going to share a bed
27:42
with someone like Paul.
27:43
A lot.
27:44
No, like I really care, but I also, if I want to go and have some soapy time, yeah, I love
27:49
a spoon.
27:50
I hate sharing a bed, I hate spoon and I would really want a starfish, I want a real
27:54
good night's sleep.
27:55
Get a super king then.
27:56
Fine.
27:57
But I have to, I kind of, are you about to say we can have it all?
28:02
No, I don't think we can have it.
28:03
I agree, I love that line, you can do anything but not everything, I love that.
28:08
I think what I kind of find difficult to not agree with you on, but is that personally
28:16
in my life right now, I'm like, I want to work my fucking ass off and make sacrifices
28:21
whether it's spending time with friends going on holiday or whatever, because I want that
28:26
work life balance and I want to be there for my children and I want to be able to take
28:30
time out of work and step aside and spend time with them and you're not like I want
28:34
to be able to take them on holidays and have that quality time.
28:39
But I need to work my ass off now so I can have that rather than, and I think it's because
28:43
you're obviously at a different stage than I am, you've got, you've got a failure.
28:47
So you're probably ahead of that, you probably, in that stage already, but you know, as kind
28:52
of, and we've always talked about prioritizing future, work hard, put away, invest, save,
28:59
all of that, make those sacrifices now.
29:01
So then you can have that house or the pool, whatever you want in the future.
29:06
But yeah, so it's kind of, I feel like I'm in the phase of making sacrifices now and
29:11
putting so much time and effort into work and I've even had friends being like, back when
29:15
we never see you, my family didn't see that and I'm like, you know what, I think this
29:19
is the time of my life where I, I know-
29:21
You're okay with that decision right now.
29:23
Yeah, I'm okay with that.
29:24
You already had to sacrifice it in my personal life to be honest as well.
29:28
I'm 35, you know, and I'm, you know, I'm not a mother or anything, you know, like in terms
29:32
of my body.
29:33
I guess I am okay with it, but it's kind of, I feel like you've probably become, you
29:39
must have.
29:40
You know, as well.
29:41
100%.
29:42
And I think as long as you're okay with it, whereas I have a really different approach
29:45
to live in and I've always had it, even when I first open solar.
29:48
So I do not want to jeopardize having fun, like enjoying my life in a very spiritual way.
29:55
I'm a little bit hedonistic in the way that I want to have a good time now.
30:00
I don't want to wait till I'm 60 to have a nice time.
30:03
I might get hit by a car tomorrow.
30:04
I'm having fun.
30:05
I'm going to the party tonight on a Tuesday.
30:07
I'm staying up all night with my friends talking shit.
30:10
I don't care.
30:11
Like, I'm not going to sacrifice my living.
30:14
Because I think I'm like, you're here, like, Sarah, like quite physically and literally
30:18
is on the side of the room and back is on the side of the room.
30:22
And I'm sitting in the middle being like, I kind of want to be here, but I also have
30:25
to be here.
30:26
You know, I think what I'm finding really hard at the moment is maybe it's similar to
30:29
what you're trying to explain as well, Vic, is I also am really hedonistic.
30:34
I love having fun.
30:35
I love the finer things in life.
30:38
But I also want to be present and enjoy now and really acknowledge the fact that my
30:45
life could be really short.
30:47
You have no idea what's going to happen.
30:49
And I find that a really difficult struggle, both personally and also from a business perspective,
30:55
like how much time and energy you put into your business now to grow it for later, as
31:00
Vic was saying, while also sitting down and meditating and spending time with my family
31:06
now and doing the things in the moment that feel good, and I honestly find it really,
31:12
really difficult, especially in a capitalist society where we are told you need money to
31:18
survive.
31:19
And you do.
31:20
They've created, they've done a pretty good job.
31:21
Like it's a very pay to play, especially here in Auckland, you know, think about when
31:26
you're in London, everyone's in the part drinking beers and that's what you do on the
31:29
evening.
31:30
You know, here it is, pay to play, everyone's out for dinner, everyone is, you know,
31:35
Auckland, I think, is particularly challenging to live freely.
31:39
I would like to talk about the idea that you are now going to be working more closely
31:45
with your partner, husband, Joshua, we love, the cocktail man, how does it feel working
31:53
and having your love integrated and connected to your form of making money?
32:00
And does that feel threatening in the sense that they're both so closely linked?
32:06
Because I would say that a lot has successfully eroded a lot of that love over the last few
32:10
years.
32:11
So I don't think that's a worry.
32:12
So do not go into business with your partner.
32:14
Do not own a business with your partner, actually do not, that's probably my best advice,
32:18
do not start with this.
32:19
But do you think you've become closer?
32:20
Yeah.
32:21
But do you want to be closer as partners or do you want to be closer as like lovers and
32:25
others?
32:26
Is there a lot of like sexy friction between you when you're like, did you see the numbers
32:31
today?
32:32
No, that's not cute.
32:35
I don't want to see your partners.
32:37
After hearing about numbers, I'm just not excited about any of this.
32:42
I've got the numbers on my fingers.
32:44
And then you put your top back on my camera, it's got to stop off, it's a bit much.
32:49
But I think you can have both.
32:50
No.
32:51
I just agree.
32:52
I don't want to be talking.
32:53
There's partners.
32:54
No.
32:55
I, but all of the layers just really much and there's like no, there's no defined parts of your
33:03
relationship.
33:04
I don't mean do you want to go on a date or if you're sort of having sex with me.
33:12
I just mean.
33:13
Like the relationship we had as friends before we're together is so different because what
33:19
comes out when you both have a shared passion for something and you're, these money involved
33:22
it's emotional.
33:23
There's conflict.
33:24
That's just natural.
33:25
Imagine then also wanting to have sex with that person.
33:28
I don't know.
33:29
I feel like I would feel someone trapped by having both of those things in the same place.
33:36
I personally feel very trapped by it.
33:38
I have these very strong, just sometimes just to start running.
33:42
It's like I'm not even like saying that like met him first, like sometimes I let you
33:47
think I just need to run.
33:49
That's because I want to leave.
33:50
I just need to find a place to be free in the world.
33:53
I feel very bound by owning a business also that is like Brooks and Morton, so physical.
34:00
People expect so much from you.
34:02
People were sending me messages before my class being like, I really need a big awakening
34:06
tonight.
34:07
I can't wait for class.
34:08
And they're trying to be like, steady and like supportive, but it's a lot of pressure.
34:12
Like, damn, better think about something spiritual quick when I've just been a hot, like,
34:18
you know, Tuesday night, I teach at 5.30, I work, I go get a failure at 3, Josh Russi's
34:24
homes that I can go teach my 5.30, I get home, I still have to like put it to bed.
34:29
You know, like, I'm merging in and out constantly of these parts of myself, and I, that's
34:33
why I try to set the boundaries so they're very separate so that they don't just blur.
34:39
It's like, now I'm at work, now I'm teaching, now I'm a mother.
34:43
And I think sometimes it's hard to set those boundaries and separations when you're
34:48
running a business with your partner, because where does the line stop of business partners
34:54
to take your closer?
34:56
Oh my God.
34:57
I can't imagine it.
34:58
I mean, if the businesses don't know, you'd be like, take your clothes off.
35:02
Are you?
35:03
Yeah.
35:04
They're like, those numbers.
35:05
Oh, they're great.
35:06
I've been in also a couple of days.
35:10
But what's the flip side, you know, it's also hanging your happiness within your relationship
35:15
on your financial side.
35:16
I think that's where it is.
35:19
So when Sarah is doing financially better, there is a direct correlation between Joshua's
35:27
like mood and love for me.
35:29
It won't really be that, but it feels like he loves me more when Sarah's going, well,
35:33
so in my perception of our relationship, I'm lovable most when Sarah is successful,
35:39
which I don't always feel in control of.
35:41
I guess these pluses in terms of you, people might be listening to this and be like,
35:46
oh, but they get so much time together, you know, rather than both going away working
35:50
all day separately and then coming together.
35:52
But I mean, that's true.
35:53
I mean, also, I can't really talk from that place because I've never had a, and Josh
35:58
has always worked really heavily on Sarah by force because there's so many things that
36:03
I just don't know how to do.
36:04
Like fix the sonas.
36:05
You know, I'm such a...
36:06
When you're like a sonor, sorry.
36:07
Oh, my God.
36:08
Sonas, if you're listening to this, your product suck.
36:11
I've been warned about not getting a son.
36:14
Oh, but everyone has a deep name.
36:15
Would you?
36:16
And then I got it in my sonor.
36:17
Sarah gets a pyramid skin.
36:18
No, no.
36:19
Like it's my day.
36:20
So I live and dies by the sonor.
36:22
If you, like, can't connect to the kitchen one and then, and he gets so defensive of sonas,
36:29
when they work to be fair, they're amazing, but holy shit, they're temperamental.
36:33
Yeah.
36:34
That's what Josh is like.
36:35
I mean, if you've got shares in, like, sonas, like, and hopefully you do, because that might be
36:40
our way out.
36:41
That's what I'm talking about.
36:42
Oh.
36:43
Well, there's things like who you speak about on social media, quite a bit, is the idea
36:49
of the cultural, like, backdrop of entitlement that we see online a lot.
36:54
And I would really like to hear your perspective on the idea of comparison being the thief of all joy.
36:59
I love that quote so much.
37:02
Yes.
37:03
So that's, like, definitely something that I also live a lot of solubiles.
37:08
Like, these boundaries that we have feed into this concept of what life do you want to live?
37:13
What do you want to own within that life?
37:15
Like, what's possible?
37:17
What are you going to prioritize?
37:19
And I think that we, as a generation, maybe it's just a generation, like, you think about our parents,
37:26
they sort of worked towards their dream house that they had in, like, their 60s,
37:30
whereas they do feel like there's a sense in our generation of wanting everything now,
37:34
like wanting big cars, and we want in the house of the pool now,
37:37
wanting all of the nice things now, but wanting them so early, and so,
37:42
and that's been facilitated by an after-pay lifestyle and credit cards,
37:47
which probably weren't available previously,
37:49
and being able to get credit and overdraft so much easier than before,
37:53
that people are leaning on these as tools of their, sort of, their resource.
37:59
When really, I'm a really anti-credit card.
38:02
I know that you guys maybe have a different idea.
38:04
Oh, no, I don't trust that.
38:05
But I've got no impulse control.
38:07
Yeah, no idea.
38:08
No impulse control.
38:09
So actually, I cannot.
38:11
I feel so suffocated.
38:12
She's been all I see so around about ADHD as lately.
38:15
Yeah, and we are insufferable, but we are fun.
38:17
We are so fun.
38:18
We know how to party.
38:20
We love to live by that.
38:23
I'm annoying.
38:24
Just give me a drink.
38:25
Yeah.
38:26
Give me a drink.
38:27
But I think that that has generated a culture of entitlement
38:34
that we should have all these things, and we'll go out of our way to get them
38:39
or to make others feel as though we've got them.
38:42
I think that, you know, by the conversations that I have with people,
38:48
people are really willing to get themselves into debt
38:51
or pay things off incrementally just to appear like they can have that thing now.
38:56
I'm like, if you hear something that I live by as well,
38:59
I think I said this probably in the last one.
39:01
This is from Jay-Z.
39:03
Jay-Z.
39:04
My spirit, Julie, that is Jay-Z.
39:06
Apart from obviously your house,
39:08
but if you can't afford it in cash, you cannot afford it.
39:11
Honestly, I live by that.
39:13
But I agree, I think the idea of what success looks like on social media
39:18
is intangible things.
39:21
And people like to have that very scene in public.
39:25
And it's interesting because the more we learn about money and wealth,
39:28
the more I realise, actually, people that have money don't have things.
39:32
Actually, you guys said something that recently that I spoke to Josh about it.
39:36
We've been trying to integrate it into our life,
39:39
is wealth isn't just what you make.
39:42
It's what you don't spend, which I think is amazing.
39:45
I can't remember when we said that.
39:47
I was like, oh my god.
39:49
And then I worked out, only spending $27 a day on crap.
39:53
Like coffees and stuff is 10k a year.
39:55
I was like, hey, I could have 10k to buy something, actually hectic.
39:59
Like, oh my god, you know?
40:01
Fuck it.
40:02
I just accidentally made this money by not buying coffees.
40:05
I'm going to buy a row like so whatever.
40:07
So you block out that noise and that,
40:10
those images in social,
40:12
apart from literally deleting Instagram,
40:14
but wanting to keep up and wanting to have those nice things.
40:17
Because you want that sense of belonging
40:19
and it's like, I guess all your friends or your community
40:23
or society is doing it.
40:25
But I think that it's also as well.
40:27
It's not about not allowing yourself to have anything.
40:30
And you don't have to just wear bamboo shoes
40:33
and be like, I'm out of the system.
40:35
You know, I think that it's prioritizing.
40:37
Like, okay, I do want some of these things.
40:40
Being a part of community and social accepted
40:43
is a survival mechanism that is embedded into me as a human.
40:47
I don't want to be ostracized from my community.
40:50
I want to look like I exist.
40:52
But I'm going to choose the things
40:54
that bring me genuine happiness.
40:56
So for example, I teach a teacher training every year.
40:59
It actually is quite a big, like, in, like, finance generator.
41:03
And that's where you'll see it.
41:04
So the teach trainings is May.
41:07
We always do our fit-outs June.
41:09
Because it pays towards the next fit-out.
41:11
So we always do an expansion,
41:13
often you'll see June, July is our time.
41:15
Because I make this money and I directly input it
41:18
all into reinvesting into the studio.
41:21
However, every single time I take five K out for myself,
41:24
that I'm allowed to buy any,
41:25
and it has to be actually something crazy.
41:27
Not buying something, like, very sensible and like,
41:30
but I brought, like, an acne leather jacket one year.
41:33
I bought it like four times.
41:35
But I'm going to have it forever, you know?
41:37
And I think that, but that's, like, once a year.
41:40
It's like my annual sale.
41:41
Like, it comes around once a year.
41:43
And I work really hard for it.
41:44
The teacher training is quite intense.
41:47
I work, like, on top of what I already do,
41:49
I do, like, 25 hours every weekend for six weekends.
41:52
So, like, I'm working for that money.
41:55
So, taking what Vic just said around the idea of,
41:58
how do we go against the grain when it comes to,
42:02
when you want stuff, but then also,
42:04
you can't have everything.
42:06
How can we, because I struggle with this all the time.
42:09
It's exhausting.
42:10
I love cloths.
42:12
I love, like, nice things.
42:15
I think it would be, I'd be totally lying if I said,
42:19
I could wear bamboo shoes for the rest of my life
42:22
and be a happy girl.
42:23
I don't think I could.
42:24
But, at the same time,
42:26
I know that things mean more to me than stuff.
42:30
But how can we translate that into a everyday spending
42:33
and the way that we show up in a work and financial sense?
42:36
It comes back to the conversation
42:38
we were having earlier around, you know,
42:40
we could die tomorrow or, you know, life's so short.
42:43
And so, there's people that are like,
42:44
let's live in the moment.
42:45
Let's buy things now and enjoy them while we have them
42:47
because we aren't going to be,
42:49
didn't have nothing.
42:50
Okay.
42:51
It's very hard because we're saying a lot of conflicting things.
42:53
So, it's about, I think, let's, for a moment,
42:56
just extract all of these, like, conversations,
42:58
let them just, like, wash away,
43:00
combat your core, your core values.
43:03
Who am I?
43:04
What's the life that I want to live?
43:06
What's involved in that life?
43:08
And then, like, it creates an orbit.
43:10
It's like, well, I want my family,
43:11
I want my friends, these things, that's my orbit.
43:13
I want to travel, that's my orbit.
43:15
It's like, okay, how much work?
43:17
Like, you know, I want to create something with purpose.
43:20
I want to.
43:21
And then you're adding these layers.
43:23
I don't, so it has, of course, like,
43:25
what I say, you could just do it.
43:27
That doesn't mean to spend all of your money.
43:29
I am also depressed the future because, you know,
43:32
and like, you know, trying to invest in things in a way
43:35
that is for the future, not just for yourself,
43:38
but so you're leaving something for your children
43:40
in case anything that did happen to you.
43:42
But, so you've got to think,
43:43
do I want this?
43:45
Because it makes, I think it's going to look great.
43:48
It's going to make me feel good.
43:50
Or is it because they need validation?
43:52
Because if you always seek validation,
43:54
the whole is, the pit is just endless.
43:56
And you're going to fill it, fill it, fill it.
43:58
No matter things, we'll fill it.
44:00
Because this top's going to make me feel good.
44:02
But so is doing it at the same time.
44:04
It's a multi-pronged living approach.
44:08
It's a yoga class, nutritious food,
44:11
good conversation with your girlfriend.
44:14
They're all just as important.
44:16
They don't all cost money.
44:17
Some do, some don't.
44:19
You can't sway too far.
44:21
You know what it's like.
44:22
You can love your friends when you do too many social hangs
44:25
and you're burnt out.
44:26
You go too far the other way.
44:27
I want nice things.
44:28
You buy something.
44:29
You feel good.
44:30
Oh, now I feel guilt and shame for spending so much money.
44:32
So when I buy something, I'm like,
44:34
oh, do I really want that?
44:36
Or is it everyone else got it?
44:39
Because if I'm getting it because everyone else got it,
44:41
I'm looking for its validation
44:42
and to feel a part of something.
44:44
And getting this item isn't going to fill that.
44:47
Oh.
44:48
I just, I'm kind of, sometimes I get exhausted
44:51
with how much I've got to think about and figure out.
44:53
I've got to do some down free work.
44:54
And he's figuring out what things actually bring me joy
44:56
when I spend money.
44:57
I've got a, oh, God.
44:59
I've got a big list.
45:00
And then it's just that that to create a better life
45:03
just creates more stress.
45:04
Because all the things you have to do in order to create a better life.
45:06
You know, it's half of shuffles.
45:07
Yeah, it's like, oh, gosh, I'll get to that later.
45:09
But I think that it's also, I agree.
45:12
I feel like life is particularly lifey.
45:15
Like life is just real lifey.
45:17
Right now, I feel like we're in a really lifey period.
45:20
And whether it's a thought is,
45:22
and actually you just got to come back to as often as possible.
45:25
We all forget.
45:26
But coming back to like, what's really important?
45:29
You know, you have those notes I read it today.
45:31
It's like, you have those notes and you look over at your friends.
45:33
It's like, Carly over laughing.
45:35
Like, this is what it's for.
45:36
This is it.
45:37
You know, this is life.
45:39
And it's like, be compassionate.
45:40
And it's like, I don't know.
45:41
Like, it's all this meme up there.
45:43
I wish I could show you, but we use my phone to film.
45:45
And it's like, it's a Drake song.
45:47
And it's this girl who's the meme is basically like,
45:49
go to my to do list it to try and find something I know.
45:51
It's a really heavy paragraph that I wrote the tape before.
45:54
Yeah.
45:55
That is me.
45:56
But yeah, maybe it is just taking the pressure out.
45:59
Like, money is stressful.
46:01
Life is stressful.
46:02
Trying to get it all right is stressful sometimes.
46:04
Comparing yourself to others is stressful.
46:06
God, you've just got to give yourself a break and do the best you can.
46:09
You're going okay.
46:10
You're going okay.
46:11
Yeah.
46:12
I think one of the biggest takeaways for me in this conversation
46:14
is the idea of defining what is important to you.
46:17
What is important in your life and then distributing your resources
46:22
in terms of time, effort, love, money in a way that you're going to look back
46:26
when you're 80.
46:27
And feel like, I'm really glad I made those decisions.
46:30
I didn't answer any of the things about running a business.
46:34
I know.
46:35
I really didn't want to talk about spirituality.
46:37
No.
46:38
I just can't really talk myself.
46:39
I think it was like, hey, we can always do a part three.
46:43
I had such a long, very serious business list.
46:47
We'll do a part three.
46:49
Because people have told me, remember?
46:51
Yeah.
46:52
But it was so perfect.
46:54
No one is going to ever think I know how to run a business.
46:57
I'm just fucking.
46:58
I know that this was the concept.
47:01
I actually just need to prove that I know what I'm doing.
47:04
I need validation from other people that I don't know
47:08
that I deliberately run a business.
47:10
And it's, I'm not just like running that amazing business.
47:13
It's incredible.
47:14
If people want to know where to go to learn about beautiful space
47:19
that is salad that I love going to, where should they go?
47:23
We do have an online studio.
47:25
If you go via the website, salad at studio,
47:28
it will take you to an online portal where you can actually practice
47:32
this inside the studio with all of our teachers,
47:35
but from the comfort of your own home.
47:37
You can even just land the sofa and watch it on the TV.
47:39
You don't even have to do any of the actual excise.
47:41
That's the best kind of tune.
47:43
But, yeah, you do have a studio in Ponzenby
47:46
and Auckland and it's incredible.
47:48
It's such a beautiful space.
47:49
You should be very, very proud of it.
47:51
Because I absolutely love going there when I get back.
47:53
When I come back from London.
47:54
Oh, I love it.
47:55
So, but no, thank you so much for coming on the podcast.
47:58
Thanks for having me.
47:59
And I'm sure Sof would say the same, but she's had to run through the bathrooms.
48:02
Yeah, but thank you so much.
48:06
Thank you so much for listening to Raising the Curve.
48:09
These conversations are designed to teach you everything that you need to know
48:12
to be better with your money.
48:14
From saving, to investing, to talking to your friends about your salaries.
48:18
And, if you liked what you heard, we would love it.
48:20
If you could hit subscribe button, please.
48:22
Yes, please.
48:23
Or, leave a review at our own taste five seconds.
48:26
And it would really make our week.
48:28
Oh, yeah.
48:29
Oh, month.
48:30
Okay.
48:31
Lots of love. See you soon.
48:32
Bye.