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What happens when a Narcissists senses that you are unhappy? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're talking about when a narcissist senses that you're
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  about to move on or call it quits if you're new.
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  Here. My name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
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  another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back, folks. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
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  So I've said this before, but I feel like I have to reiterate
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  it. Narcissistic people have a like
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  a damn near a sixth sense for when you are unhappy or you are,
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  you have something going on like you.
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  Your unhappiness is bubbling through the surface, right?
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  Your unhappiness is bump your they they can sense it from the
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  you know what I mean? They can sense it from the
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  highest of happiness, right? They can sense it like it's like
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  a sixth sense for when you're when you are happy and a sixth
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  sense for when you are unhappy. But typically the unhappiness
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  triggers a lot of reactions. The unhappiness triggers a a
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  response from a lot of narcissists and toxic people,
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  right? The unhappiness, like, they know
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  when they've been treating you badly, and they can kind of feel
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  when you've disconnected from them.
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  A narcissist can feel when you've begun to disconnect from
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  them when you're not, like when you're not fully in the
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  relationship anymore, like when you have kind of logged out of
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  it. It's like a sixth sense.
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  So what happens when a narcissist senses that you're
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  about to pull away? Some of them will start to seek
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  a new supply. So what happens when, like I
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  said, some of them will absolutely start to seek out a
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  new supply? Just like, OK, you're about to
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  leave. I can't salvage this or I don't
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  want to put any energy into salvage into this.
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  So I'm going to go out here and try to find a new source of
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  supply and what not. To get past this, I need to find
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  a way to heal and grow. So I need to find a new supply
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  to get past this. I need to find a new supply to
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  be able to heal. So I in order to heal and grow,
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  I go out and find another source.
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  Like I find somebody else that fits me and I can move on
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  quickly so I don't have to be by myself.
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  So if I if I get that sixth sense, that inkling that you are
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  unhappy and you're about to pull away, I start to pull away.
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  That's what some narcissists will do.
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  Not all of them, but some of them will start to pull away
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  from you. I'm going to pull away from you
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  because I can send that you're unhappy and let me move on right
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  now. You know, some of them will
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  absolutely do that. Like, they use this as a cat.
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  They use your unhappiness, the sense of your unhappiness, as a
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  catapult, to be able to go find somebody else.
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  Like, I know that you're unhappy.
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  So instead of working on this relationship and just moving
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  forward, I'm going to Joe 5, somebody else that I can start
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  new with, that I can make happy easier.
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  Because somebody else, if I can be, if I can find somebody new,
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  I can make them happier, easier, because the little stuff that I
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  used to do for you, you don't get happy for it no more.
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  A new person will like the new stuff, the old stuff that I used
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  to do for you, it doesn't work anymore.
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  But that stuff, somebody else will eat it up.
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  So that's why you get a lot of narcissists that take this
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  opportunity and leave you. Daisy's like, well, you're
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  unhappy. I can't.
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  Your energy like you're you're unpleasant to be around.
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  You're insufferable. They'll start talking crap to
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  you and trash to you about your feelings or how you feel, how
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  you been handling yourself lately.
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  A lot of them will start to do that right and they'll use that
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  as a catapult to go find somebody else.
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  Like I started cheating on you because you're unhappy.
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  I can't please you like you like you'll never be happy again.
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  Like we we can't be happy again because of this situation right
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  now. Like we you're unhappy, so we're
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  both unhappy. Your unhappiness is ruining the
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  relationship. Your energy is super low.
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  I can't be happy around you. They will absolutely blame you
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  for that. You see what I'm saying?
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  That does happen right there within that space.
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  So that's why people have to understand, like, if they can
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  feel you pulling away emotionally, they all start to
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  pull away emotionally. Like they'll just like, OK time
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  feels like, OK, you're unhappy. So it's time for me to dip, you
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  know? So that's the one.
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  That's one result, That's one way that what happened, what
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  thing that could happen when a narcissist senses you about to
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  leave another one another way, another thing that they'll do.
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  Some of them will just remain the same.
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  Some of them don't mind living, living in an unhappy space.
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  They might already be cheating on you.
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  They might already be lying to you.
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  They might already be doing something behind the scenes.
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  So they'll as long as you don't leave Daryl, they'll they're
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  they are fine living in this, in this tumultuous space.
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  They can live this way for years.
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  We can just be roommates that talk and clap cheeks every once
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  in a while or raise the kids together.
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  We can just be happy roommates or good friends that live there
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  together and Co parent together or whatever it is.
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  A lot of them will take that and run with it.
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  They'll take that as a the, the, the, the go ahead to keep to
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  start doing what they want to do.
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  You know they'll just keep doing.
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  They'll just keep living with you, keep being there for you
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  and just not like I said, just live this way.
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  They'll just accept that this is the way that things are going to
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  be right now. So that's what can happen right
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  there. Like things will remain the same
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  and they don't care about your happiness.
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  They might put a little work in to keep you there, but it won't
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  be like the type of work. They're like, I'm not going to
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  go to therapy and go to marriage council and dedicate my life to
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  change. No, they'll just don't.
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  They just think that you'll just stay there with them and they
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  don't ever think you're going to leave them.
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  So that's how it gets into that space as well.
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  You know, a lot of times it falls into that space within
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  that dynamic. So you have to, I say again, if
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  you can tell that they can sense it, then this is where you can
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  fall in this category. You can kind of fall into and
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  grow from right here, you know, within these kind of, you know,
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  it's wild within this kind of like mental space, this mental
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  like mental gymnastics mental space or whatever you're dealing
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  with. So and another thing that some
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  narcissistic people would do, if they sense you pulling away
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  another thing that they will can do, they'll start to love bomb
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  you. Like I said, some of them will
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  leave, some of them will remain the same and some of them will
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  throw, will will ramp up the love bombing by the love bombing
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  phase will start all over. Like the love bombing phase will
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  start now. Now I can start loving you now I
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  can start bombing you. I can start giving you the love
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  bombing right now. Because this works for me,
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  because this serves me right. Me love bombing you serves me to
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  keep you here and to keep you happy.
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  It kind of restarts the process. And when they keep like saying
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  this is where a lot of people get trauma bonded to
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  narcissistic people in in a toxic relationship.
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  Because once the relationship is about the end, you're on the way
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  out. The narcissist starts to love
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  bombing you again and showing. And they show you who they can
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  be, not who they are right now. They show you who they can be.
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  And what happens when they show you who they can be?
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  You get confused. You fall back in love with the
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  person you might be happy and spurts again, and then they'll
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  go right back, the Trinity badly again, and then you'll be
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  unhappy and they'll love bombing you again.
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  The process continues over and over again.
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  But I'll tell you this about the Love bombing.
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  I don't think the love bombing will ever be as intense as it
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  was in the beginning because they sometimes they don't feel
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  like they have to do that intensity.
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  Because we all we're all ready together, right?
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  We're all ready together. So why do I need to put the work
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  in to keep you here? If we're all ready together, I
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  can Love bomb you a little bit. I can give you a little bit, but
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  I don't have to go crazy, you know, I don't have to go out and
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  get you a bunch of roses and flowers and stuff like that.
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  I can get you some, you know, some heart socks or whatever.
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  You know what I mean? I can love by that sucks.
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  But like they can give you what they feel like you want.
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  You see how that works right there.
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  Some of them will definitely give you what they feel like you
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  want in this space because they think that it works like this
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  works for you right now. So I'll keep doing this.
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  You fell in love with me again. So I keep doing this.
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  Why would they stop if it working?
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  You know, they all tell people, why would they stop it?
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  If it's working, you know, they'll do it again and again
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  and again And every time the Love Bummy face restarts.
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  It won't be as intense as it was before.
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  It's kind of like it's always going downhill.
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  It takes a little bit of energy that stops it, you know what I
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  mean? It's like a a ball rolling
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  downhill and it hits like a little break.
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  It like, and it's slow again, slow again.
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  It just keeps rolling and stopping.
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  Rolling and stopping. Rolling and stopping.
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  That's what happens. That's one of the consistent
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  things that happens when a narcissistic person insists that
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  you're unhappy. They'll just start love bombing
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  you again and again and again because it works.
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  Why can't they just settle on Italy and be happy?
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  Because the love bombing works. And I guess it serves the
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  purpose. It serves the purpose of keeping
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  you here. You know, if all their
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  narcissistic will do, you know, there's typically the three ways
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  that it will go. Yeah.
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  But are there narcissist that will do a combination of all
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  three? Yes, there are narcissists out
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  here who will. Sometimes they'll find a new
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  supply. Then they'll love Mommy and
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  they'll come back and treat you normally.
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  You see what I'm saying? Nothing will change.
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  There are some of them that will use, that will use a combination
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  of the three things. But like I said, most of them
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  will pick one of the three if they can sense it.
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  Not all narcissists are super intuitive.
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  It takes a little bit of intuition, an intuitive
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  narcissist to kind of pick up on your to pick up on your
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  unhappiness and actually want to take action on it.
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  Because even though the the intuitive narcissist, even when
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  they pick up on it, it doesn't mean that they're going to
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  change their behavior to treat you any better.
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  Like I said, some of them will just use this as a reason to
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  treat you the same. I can't make you happy.
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  So well let's just let's just Co let's just choose to coexist for
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  the kids or because we got bills together or because we've been
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  together for 30 years, 40 years, 50 years.
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  What are we going to do? We 80.
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  You want to get divorced in our 80s.
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  You know what I mean? Some some of them were just like
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  let's fall, let's just fall in line on how things are going
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  right now and let's keep it moving.
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  That's the thought process, thought process, thought process
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  of a lot of narcissists and toxic people.
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  Y'all, That's how the mind works a lot of the time within these
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  spaces and within these dynamics.
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• 10:52
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