Latest / Man In Your Corner with Shaun Tucker / Ep. 40 | How Founder Dads Can Overcome Dad Guilt and Truly Show Up at Home and Work
Transcript
- Shaun: Welcome back to the reset 40 with me Shaun Tucker ⁓ been reflecting on my journey as a father. Comes up ⁓ years and one month this month. It's two years ⁓ one month I've been a dad. And I gotta tell ya, it's one of the greatest gifts I reckon I've ever gone through. because it's been one of the hottest. And if I look back two years ago where I was, it's funny because my business was in a pretty similar position to what it is now. But me, on the other hand, the way that I show up, the way that I am, has pretty much done a full 360 degree turn. and what I mean by that. is that I've actually realized what value I bring. I realize. that I deserve to be here. I've actually realized what it is that I am worth and no one can tell you what that is except you. And I say that from a place of not having everything figured out. Heck, not even... Not even really knowing if it's gonna be working out in the long term. But I can tell you there's one thing. And that is. I stopped. giving my thoughts so much control over myself and who I thought I had to be. You know, I'm a fantastic dad. And I'm so grateful to have my daughter because she shows me parts of myself that I didn't even know I was running away from. And I realized what it really means to provide and to protect. I threw myself in the octagon December last year. I lost, right? But I put myself in the octagon for a real fight against another man who was ready to kill me. ⁓ Yeah, my body shut down, right? If you look at the facts, you could say, look, you lost. Yeah, I lost. But I didn't lost because I didn't try. I lost because I tried and I failed, right? And I've overcome my failure by continuing to get up and move forward, to continue to show up no matter what. Because being a dad to me means that you continue to show up. you continue to show up and you do the hard work. And if I look back at the last two years, that's what I've done every single day. And not only that, I reflected on the way that I was raised by my dad. I didn't ever hear him complain. My dad is thankfully still very alive. He's a great man. and it gives so much. and I'm so grateful that he's still alive because I get to spend some time with him just to be as appreciative as I can because I am very grateful. And I know some of you might not have the greatest relationships with your dads. But I guess why this is so important is one of my friends just last week lost their dad to a pretty... Short, but long enough battle with cancer. and I called my mum and dad tonight and I just said, I'm so grateful. You guys look happy. I'm so happy that you guys are happy. Because in a world where there's just chaos and there's a lot of unknowns and uncertainty. when you have someone you can confide to or you can call up and see how their day was, maybe even make their day a little bit better by just calling. Yeah, that's to me what it means to be a dad, to show up anyway. And my Sunday morning fitness dads, yeah, this is going so, so well. We go for a hard 45 minute workout and then we follow it up with a coffee and chatting about whatever, whatever's happening in our, in our weeks, in our lives. The topic of discussion last week was. like what restaurants are around and what are good in this area. And it's only today, after I had a call with one of the dads, that I found out what they did. After three weeks of them showing up every single day, every single week, three times I've seen them, we've spent four and a half hours together. And it's only today I found out what they did. Because what you do for work is actually not that important. Whether you're showing up, you're providing, you're protecting your family, and you're really listening to what's on your heart, that to me is what's important. And I've got to say, I was laughing. on my way home from visiting a good friend today as well. There's a quote that says, It gets harder every day and every dollar. to get out. And that love, this is a separate quote, and that love is obsession. It's someone you can't live without. Find someone you can love like crazy and who can love you the same way back. And how did you find them? Well, you forget your head, you listen to your heart. And I'm not hearing any heart. Because the truth is, to live your life without this is not really a life lived at all. and the reason I share that, and the reason I was laughing. because I finally, finally found the thing that I'm so passionate for. The thing that I would do anything to protect and do everything to make sure everyone had access to. And that's why I do my Sunday morning dad workouts. ⁓ Because fitness to me. I never really paid for fitness until I had a gym membership, but I didn't really pay a coach or have someone teach me a trainer until six or seven years in to my journey of experience. And it's only then I hired a trainer or a coach because I wanted to learn a specific skill. because accountability wasn't the thing that I needed. But the thing I realized I needed later was community and learning the skill in a community of people who you're learning it with, that's epic. That to me is like golden joy. could spend hours upon hours every single day in that space, lifting heavy things, improving a skill and doing it with good mates. That to me is bliss. And I guess that to me is fatherhood really. Because my family, I spend every single day with them. And I'm gonna see them every single day of my life. If we're in the same place. until a point comes where the nest gets emptied. or their own holidays or whatever. But most days we're gonna see each other. And it's important to me that that time we spend together is fun. It's growth, it's learning, it's... spending an enjoyable amount of time together. because I do remember times where it wasn't joyful, where I felt really isolated and I wasn't connected to my family at all. And I'm not saying it's the dad's job to make sure everyone's connected because that's not the point. The point is to show up for yourself. When you show up for yourself, it has a ripple effect on everyone else around you. So if you're not showing up for your family, do it for yourself. Because that will have a ripple effect on your family as well. So thank you. Thank you to those who are following this journey. Thank you to the people that I have around me supporting me on my journey. And thank you for allowing me to. declare my commitment to be the best possible dad I can be. If you want to learn how you can be the best possible dad as well, there's many many free resources I can send your way. You just need to let me know what you need. Thanks for tuning in. If this helped one person today, I'm so grateful. And if it did help you, I want you to share it with another person. Thanks again. I will see you in tomorrow's episode.