Latest / Limitless Living with Fredricka Davis / 065: Have You Outgrown Your Old Life? How to Know When It’s Time for a New Chapter

Transcript

065: Have You Outgrown Your Old Life? How to Know When It’s Time for a New Chapter · Limitless Living with Fredricka Davis

• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: Have you ever looked around at your life and just thought to yourself, nothing's really wrong.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: Everything's kind of okay.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe even great.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: But yet something doesn't feel right.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: It just doesn't feel quite aligned or right or as fulfilling.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's that you have this great, wonderful life and career.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you've already raised your family or created a successful business, or you're in the process of that.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you've even built wonderful relationships and become good at being the person everybody knows you to be, thus far.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yet lately you're just feeling like something's different, like you're a little restless, and things that used to excite you are not exciting you quite as much as you wish they would or they used to.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe you feel like the roles that once gave you tremendous meaning are not feeling quite as meaningful anymore.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe you find yourself wondering what else there is out there, feeling like this is really it.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: This is pretty good, but I don't know if this is enough.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: And then maybe you feel guilty right behind that.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: And you're in this kind of loop of talking to yourself, looking around, saying, well, everything's pretty good.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, something's missing, but everything's pretty good.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: And you're just stuck, you know, thinking that you should be grateful and probably you are grateful.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: Here's something I want you to consider gratitude and wanting something different.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_01: Those two things they can exist at the same time.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_01: We don't have to feel guilty because we want something new or something different.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: You can love the life that you have already created and still recognize that you are ready for something different or you are changing.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: So, welcome back to identity, passion, purpose, and reinvention Saturday.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: It's that's a mouthful, right?
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Frederica Davis.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: I am creator of the Limitless Reset Method.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: And Saturdays are where we talk about who we are underneath all the roles that we accumulate, what we want now, and how we continue to become through every season of our life.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, aren't we all always becoming?
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: All week we've been talking this week about getting unstuck.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: So Tuesday we looked at our careers and businesses, and then Thursday's episode, we looked at wellness routines.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: And today we're going somewhere deeper because sometimes you can change the routine.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: You can change the workout or your schedule or your job, you can rearrange a furniture, take a trip, and still feel this little tug inside you.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: Because sometimes the thing that changed is you.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe you aren't really stuck.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: We use that word a lot.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm stuck, I'm in a rut.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know what's wrong with me.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: But sometimes I wonder whether we're asking the right question.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you are stuck, maybe you're not.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you have just outgrown something, and there is a very big difference there.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: Being stuck suggests there's somewhere you're supposed to be going, and you can't figure out how to get there.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: Outgrowing something means the thing that once fit you doesn't fit you quite the same anymore.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: Think about clothes.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: That's very true with clothes.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: There's nothing morally wrong with a pair of shoes that doesn't fit anymore.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: You don't sit there thinking, how dare my foot change?
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: You simply recognize it that they don't fit.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: Although I have to admit, I do have two pairs of shoes that I have a hard time getting rid of.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_01: They bring back these great memories, and they are really hot-looking shoes with some serious heels, ladies, okay?
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: But I don't think I could get my foot in them if my life depended on it.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yet I still have them and don't want to let go.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's okay.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: You can all laugh at me as I digress with my shoe example.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we're much less forgiving when it comes to our lives than we are when it comes to, say, you're the size of your feet changing as you get older or have kids.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: We think that because something once made us happy, it should always make us happy.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: Or because we once wanted something, we should always want that.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: Or we think that we worked incredibly hard to create whatever it is that we have, we should never question whether we still want it.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: And we live in this guilt and we live in fear of letting it go.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes we become loyal to this old version of ourselves, so loyal that we are rigid.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I find this especially interesting as we all move through midlife.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_01: By this point, we're accumulating identities.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: Perhaps you have likely been at least a few of the following identities: mother, wife, partner, daughter, business owner, executive, worker, professional, caregiver, friend, volunteer, the responsible one, the fixer, the successful one, or the failure, the strong one, or the person everybody calls, and all those identities.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: They aren't necessarily false.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: They are potentially real parts of us, but they are not all of us.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes we become just so rigid and so loyal and so stuck in who we've been that we don't give ourselves the grace, we don't give ourselves enough room to discover who we are becoming.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: Now think about this.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: How many decisions in your life are you still making based on a version of you from 10 or 20 years ago?
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's the you that needed security that's driving some of your decisions.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe you're still making decisions based on that part of you still needs approval more than you wish it did.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you are making decisions and choices in your life because you're stuck in feeling like you still need to prove yourself, or the person that once wanted the title, or the version of you that wanted the big house, or to build the business, or the person that once wanted to be indispensable and needed and wanted and lovable, right?
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: How many decisions do we make on those parts of us that might be part of the past or might have been healed more than we think, but we're still in this sense of auto, right?
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: We're on automatic.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it was that version of you that wanted everybody to know that you can handle it.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: You can handle anything.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: I can relate to that one.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: And perhaps all of these versions of you have served you well, really well.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: But the question now is what is the woman you are today, the woman you have become and are at this moment in time, what do you want?
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's a different question.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: Success can actually create its own kind of rut.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: We don't talk about this much, but sometimes success itself becomes the rut.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: You become very good at something.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: People know you for it, they turn to you for it, pay you for it, compliment you, recognize you, and you keep doing it.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: And you do it, and you do it, and you do it, right?
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: Keep doing it.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: Meanwhile, maybe a part of you is in there that starts whispering, I would really like to try something new.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: And immediately your practical brain, it comes and pops in and you know, just says to you, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: Why would you walk away from something that you're already really good at?
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: Why would you give up everything that you've worked so hard for?
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: Why would you stop doing what you you built?
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: Why, why, and why?
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: Why would you change now?
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: What if the new thing doesn't work?
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: And what will people think?
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: And here's something I hear a lot from women who who think to themselves, aren't you a little old to be starting over?
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: People might even say that to us.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: The answer is no.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: My mom lived to be about a month shy of 99.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: And she started over and over and over all the way up until the end.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: And what an inspiration.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: Because she had dreams, she had hopes, she had goals, she had fight left in her, she had spirit, she had joy, and she had immense heartache that she lived through in her life.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: Immense.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: So, are you a little too old to start over?
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely not.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you don't have to start all the way over.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's one of the biggest misconceptions of reinvention, too.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you're not starting over.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: If you're 45, 55, 65, 75, 85, whatever you are, and you decide that you want something different, you are not beginning at zero.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: Even if you're making an entirely different career change or going in an entirely different direction, even for those of you who are suddenly finding yourself single, you are not starting over from zero.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: You bring everything to the table with you.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: You bring it all, your experience, your relationships, your wisdom, and your skills and your mistakes.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: They're valuable.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: The things that give you resilience, you're bringing your resilience, your fight, your ability to keep going, your judgment, your stories, your understanding of yourself and of people.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: Everything that you've learned about what you want, and maybe even more importantly, you're bringing with you everything that you learned about what you don't want.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: So you're not really starting over.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_01: We think of it like that, but we are not.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: You're starting from experience, and that's an entirely different place to start.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I'm not saying blow up your life just because you're feeling restless with all of this.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: I want to balance this.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: Reinvention gets romanticized.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know, quit the job, sell everything, divorce the husband, move somewhere new, follow your passion.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: That's all great copy for social media.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's not always great life advice.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: But restlessness is information.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's not necessarily instruction.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to destroy something good in order to explore whether there's something else you want.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes you simply need room to experiment.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: This is where curiosity becomes much more useful than pressure.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: So instead of asking yourself, what am I going to do with the rest of my life?
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: That's an enormous question.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: It's enormous whether you are a high schooler going to college or somebody in college about to graduate.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: That's enormous.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's enormous then.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's enormous now.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: Instead, try asking yourself, what am I curious about right now?
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_01: That's a more manageable question.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: That's something you can follow.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_01: Follow your curiosity before you demand a purpose and what's next in the entire plan.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_01: I think we put enormous, enormous pressure on ourselves to discover our purpose in life.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: What's my passion?
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_01: What's my purpose?
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: What's my next chapter?
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_01: What am I meant to do?
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know about you.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_01: But sometimes those questions made me want to take a nap.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I've watched with my clients, they're just such huge questions.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: And because they get to be huge, a lot of times you just get crippled.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: You never get to the clarity.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: They're just so big.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: So shrink them down a bit.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_01: There's nothing that says you can't shrink them down to size and make them more bite-sized.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_01: Ask yourself, what are you curious about?
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then start trying things.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: Ask yourself, what have you been reading about lately?
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_01: What are the things that you're looking at the most?
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_01: You're deeply interested in.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: What do you keep watching videos about?
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: I can tell you everything I read, everything I watch videos about, every class I sign up for, and so much of the information that I love to consume all revolves around everything I talk about on this show.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: Everything that I do in my career, everything that revolves around success and healing and health and wellness and connection and all of the pillars that I teach in my reset program.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: Because we are whole.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a whole woman.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not one section.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not meant to just focus on my business or just focus on my family or just focus on this or that.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not meant to be one body part.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'm whole.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'm meant to be connected as a whole.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_01: So everything I'm interested in, everything I devour is that.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: And that is my life's mission.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: That is my career.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: That is my passion personally and professionally.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: So when you start looking at things like this, you really start to learn.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_01: So be curious.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: What are you curious about?
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: What are you reading?
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: What are you watching videos about?
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: Where do you find yourself lingering the longest when you're on social media or when you're in a bookstore?
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: What fascinates you?
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: What classes do you want to sign up for?
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: Even if you haven't made time, which ones do you wish you could learn?
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: Which activities?
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: What do you wish somebody would invite you to do?
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: What have you caught yourself thinking about even once, but especially more than once?
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_01: Or thinking to yourself, oh, I'd love to try that someday.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_01: Pay attention to all those little things.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: Jot them down, put them in that journal.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: Because passion doesn't always arrive with fireworks.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, rarely, occasionally.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_01: But often it begins with curiosity.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: And then the curiosity becomes enough that you take the next step.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: I can look backwards on my entire life and career.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: And because I have been curious and never lost the curious side of me, insatiably curious.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: Each of my curiosities has wound up working together and leading to the next thing.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: So if you've lost the curiosity, or maybe you didn't have as much as you wanted to to start out with, maybe nobody ever cultivated that in you.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_01: Now's your chance.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you revisit something that you left behind.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: Another place I'd have you look is what did you lose?
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: What was it that you used to love to do?
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_01: Not necessarily something that you were even good at, but what did you used to love before everything became useful?
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_01: Before everything had to become productive, or before you tried to monetize everything?
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: What was it that you loved before you had to try and fit it into a schedule?
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_01: Was it painting or singing?
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it was dancing.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: How about writing?
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: When I was a kid, I wanted to be a writer.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: Did you like to write?
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: Did you like to garden or travel or take photographs?
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you liked riding horses or making things and doing crafts, reading for hours, or listening to live music or cooking, spending time outdoors.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: What did you love learning about?
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: Some of those things may no longer interest you at all.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: And that's okay.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's completely okay.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: But sometimes you'll find breadcrumbs back there when you're looking at this list.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: Not because you're supposed to become the person you once were who loved all those things, but because there may be pieces of her that you've simply been neglecting.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: So pay attention also to envy.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: Here's one that's a little bit uncomfortable.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: Notice who it is that you envy.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't mean the kind of envy where you want somebody's handbag or their house.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm talking about that little internal reaction when you see somebody doing something and think, God, I'd love to be able to do that.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_01: Don't shame yourself for that.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_01: Don't discount it.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_01: Don't shoot yourself down for it.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: Investigate it.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: There was a time when I envied and wished that I could speak in front of people.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_01: There was a time that I wished so much that I could share my knowledge and help others.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_01: That's exactly what I do.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's exactly what I do.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_01: So I started out there.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: So don't shame yourself for it.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_01: Investigate it.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you see somebody who travels alone and you think, wow, I wish I could do that.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's scary the first time, but once you do it a couple of times, it's a piece of cake.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe somebody you know is starting a business at 58, and you think, oh, I wish I could be that brave and start that business I always wanted to, doing whatever.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe you're thinking, she went back to school.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if I could do that.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: I wish I could do that.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: I always wanted to do that.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: There's a sign.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe somebody is letting go of all their stuff, so much of their accumulated stuff, and they're downsizing their house so that they can embark on the next adventure of traveling around the world.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_01: You wish you could do that.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe that's something that's giving you some clues.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe you know somebody who wrote the book and published it.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: I will tell you, ladies, right now, everybody's listening.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: I have envy for that.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_01: I just got, and I have it in my hands right now, one of the amazing women that I know, Sheree Ashana.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: I'll spell it for you and I'll put it in the show notes.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_01: C-H-E-R-I-E A-S-H-A-N-A.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: And she wrote her book called Sacred She Reset: Reclaiming Your Radiant Power Through Midlife's Sacred Initiation.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: Now, this is a meaty book.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: I just got it.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: It came today in the mail.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_01: I will say this out loud.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_01: When I saw that she finished her book, I was a little envious.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh, I can't wait until that's me.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: And then she posted a video of when her first shipment came and she opened up that box and did a live reveal on social.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought, oh, I can't wait until that's me.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I'm talking about.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm writing one.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's coming.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_01: That's a sign.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I am cheering her on.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm encouraging you all.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm looking at it, I've scanned through it, and it looks amazing.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: So go ahead out and get it.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: This is not a paid advertisement.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just sharing what is going on in my world and a moment where I have that feeling.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: This is a sign.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you are looking at someone who didn't start painting until they were 55, but now they're doing art shows and making money or just enjoying themselves painting.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: These are all signs for you.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe they change careers.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, the list could go on and on.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you are just envying somebody who is more comfortable being herself than you feel like you are right now.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I want you to ask yourself, what exactly is it that you are responding to?
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_01: So the question is, what am I responding to when I feel that way?
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: Because sometimes envy is showing you an unlived part of yourself.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_01: Not always, but it's worth getting curious about.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_01: Now, envy is one of those words that people can have mixed feelings about.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_01: And biblically speaking, we're not supposed to envy and so on and so forth.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_01: What I mean by this is I have a piece of myself that is unlived just yet.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the piece of me that hasn't quite finished the book and published it.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: And when I see this amazing person that I know, Cherie, I'm so proud of her and thrilled and happy for her.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm envying her not because I resent or am jealous of it, but I'm envying it because she's gotten it done and I and I can't wait until I can get there.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: Does that make sense?
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: So give yourself permission.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_01: Be curious.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: And next, I want you to give yourself permission to be a beginner.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_01: This may be one of the hardest parts of reinvention when you have already become accomplished in your world or your career.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: Being a beginner again, it can be uncomfortable.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_01: When you're accustomed to being competent, it is incredibly uncomfortable to do something you're not good at.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you don't know the terminology, or you don't know the right people, or you don't know how everything works, or when you feel like you look ridiculous.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_01: Good.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: That is part of the learning.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: You don't need to be impressive to do everything.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_01: Take this podcast.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_01: If you go back to the earlier episodes, they sound a little bit different.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't get the music in there.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't get the timing right.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's getting better as we go, right?
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: And it was uncomfortable.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_01: There is tremendous freedom, though, in doing something simply because you're interested in it.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_01: You want to do it, even if you do it and you're not so good at it in the beginning.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_01: You might also discover something that changes your life, though.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_01: Either way, you will be expanding yourself.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_01: So create space for the woman that you are becoming.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_01: This is where I think reinvention actually begins.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_01: Not with dramatic announcements, it's with the space.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_01: If every minute of your life is occupied maintaining the person you've already been, then when exactly are you supposed to discover who you are becoming now?
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: You need some white space.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_01: You need an afternoon, an hour, a walk without anything playing in your ear.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_01: A solo lunch somewhere with a notebook, a museum or a day trip or a class.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's a weekend and a little Airbnb somewhere and a mini retreat.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: Sometime where you are not someone's employee, boss, mother, wife, caregiver, coach, problem solver, or whatever the roles are that you normally are.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: You just need you.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: And you get to notice what comes up when you get the space.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: Here's your reset for this week.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to finish three sentences.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_01: Don't overthink them.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_01: Just write whatever comes up.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think I want to keep blank anymore.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_01: Then I've been curious about blank.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: And finally, if I didn't have to be good at it or practical or explain it to anybody, I would love to try blank.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: And then look at what you wrote.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to act on all of it.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: You don't even have to quit something to do any of it.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to announce it.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to have a five-year plan for it.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: Just choose one tiny thing to explore.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe Google the class or buy the book or call the person or visit the place or research it.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_01: Try it once.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_01: But put something on your calendar because here's what I want you to remember.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to know who you're becoming before you begin becoming her.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_01: I want to say that one again.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to know who you are becoming before you begin becoming her.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes we discover her by moving.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: Your next chapter doesn't have to reject your last chapter.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_01: There is nothing wrong with the woman you've been.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to reject her to become somebody new.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_01: She got you here.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_01: She's amazing.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: You're amazing.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: She made decisions with the information she had.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_01: That's you.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_01: You made the best decisions you could with the information you had.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_01: You built things, you survived things.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_01: You loved people, you learned, you changed.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: You carried yourself through every chapter that came before this one.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe your next chapter isn't about becoming an entirely different woman.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's about allowing yourself to be more of yourself in this next stage of life.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's more of your creativity or adventure, rest, play.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's being more honest or experiencing more freedom, more of you.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to dial down you because it makes somebody else uncomfortable either.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: Be you.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's just getting comfortable with that.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_01: And perhaps you've been caught calling this feeling you've been having a rut or feeling like you're just stuck when actually that feeling you're having is more of an invitation.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_01: Not necessarily to leave your life, but to participate in creating the next version of it.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_01: So thanks for spending part of your week with me.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: If you've listened to all three episodes this week, I'd love for you to think about where you're feeling the most stuck right now: your work, your wellness, or is it somewhere inside yourself?
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_01: And if there's another woman in your life who's been quietly wondering what comes next, share this episode with her.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_01: Be sure to give us a review.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_01: You can visit me at my website, www.fredrika Davis.com.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_01: Join our free limitless living community in there.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_01: I would love to hear from you and hear more.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_01: And remember, you're never too old to become curious about what's next.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_01: Be rooted, be resilient, and be limitless.