Latest / What's Your (Least) Favorite Scary Movie? / #225: Pieces (1982)

Transcript

#225: Pieces (1982) · What's Your (Least) Favorite Scary Movie?

0:06
Hello, what's your least favorite scary movie?
0:15
Welcome to What's Your Least Favorite Scary Movie?
0:17
The podcast where we talk about the good, the bad, the ugly and
0:20
the absurd and all of our favorite.
0:22
And the least favorite? Scary Movie.
0:24
Because we believe every horror movie rightfully has its fan
0:26
base even. If we don't always get it.
0:29
My name is Travis. My name is Jesse.
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And today? We're saying happy birthday to
0:33
Travis, which is actually on Sunday, but yeah, happy birthday
0:38
to Travis. Thank you, thank you.
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And as is tradition on the show, when it's birthday time, it's
0:45
anything goes. Yeah, we get to pick any type of
0:47
movie we want. So I pick pieces and.
0:50
Travis has had this movie picked since I think my birthday, which
0:53
is. Fine.
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Cuz I think I have my birthday movie picked already too so.
0:56
Don't we all always? Get it?
0:59
It's perfect. I love this movie.
1:01
It's a cheesy little movie. I'm ready to talk about it.
1:04
But before we do, do we have anything that we need to
1:06
announce? Budget to your patrons Bonus
1:10
episode has come out Travis cut this out if it ends up not
1:15
working and we have to pivot OK but I'm hoping that what we're
1:20
gonna do is our first let's play of a sort.
1:25
We're planning to record that after this because we've had so
1:28
much fun with paranormal activity and y'all also know
1:32
that we're love lies. So we have we're obsessed with
1:35
the. I'm on observation.
1:38
Duty playthroughs, yeah. So we're we, we found a similar
1:43
kind of game and it's just the preview of it already made me
1:46
say, oh, fuck you to Travis. So.
1:49
That's gonna be fun. Yeah, so that's what we're done.
1:51
If you're patron, go check that out.
1:53
Yeah, if you're a budget to your patron, and if you're not, the
1:55
link is at the very bottom of these show notes.
1:57
It'll take you right to our patron.
1:58
It's $6 a month for your budget tier, and that gets you a bonus
2:01
episode each month. You can vote on the monthly
2:05
movie. You get a sticker.
2:09
You get a sticker. You get a shout out.
2:11
You get a shout out, you get show notes and whenever I I have
2:14
sketches for what our cover it's going to be before the final
2:17
product. I'll post those on there too.
2:19
Yes I got one for Child's but I need to post on there.
2:21
Yes. And I'm behind on posting our
2:24
notes. It's all good.
2:25
It's all good. I'm going to post those tonight.
2:27
I have them sitting in a pile on the table, so I don't, I can't
2:30
forget. But yeah, so it's a bunch of fun
2:34
perks and we think we have a fun cool little group of bubbies
2:38
there. So, you know, if you want to
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join us, you can. And if you don't want to commit
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to the six dollar level, I get it.
2:46
There's a three and a one dollar level.
2:48
Yeah, we got tears and everything is listed on there.
2:50
We won't go over every detail of the Patreon on here right now,
2:53
but go check it out. Yes, it's a lot of good stuff
2:56
there. It's.
2:56
Fun. So I've got our poll results,
2:58
OK, we talked about child's play two last week and the debate was
3:03
who's got the flyest sweater? The.
3:06
Flyest Flight. Sweater.
3:07
Flight sweater. Yeah, Between Andy in shots play
3:10
two and Danny in The Shining and it was down to the wire on both
3:15
platforms. Oh man.
3:17
So on Instagram 44% voted for Andy, 56 for Danny, and over on
3:24
Twitter it's split 5050. Wow, OK.
3:28
So nobody this, it's not conclusive, but I guess if you
3:31
want to go based off of that, then it would be conclusive that
3:34
Danny wins. But if we are chiming in, I feel
3:37
like that helps. And I think Andy's is sick.
3:41
I love Andy's a little sweater. I like, I'm so torn between them
3:46
because Danny has, he's got a rocket.
3:50
It's a rocket, yeah. I love space.
3:52
Space is tight. It's pretty tight.
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Yeah. So I really love that.
3:58
But Andy? I'm wearing a spaceship on my
4:01
shirt right now. Exactly, Andy.
4:03
I feel like he owns the sweater in a way, you know what I mean?
4:07
He is the sweater. I mean it.
4:11
Is he wears the sweater, the sweater doesn't wear him.
4:14
Yeah, well, yeah, he is making it.
4:17
The sweater isn't making him cool.
4:19
He's already cool. Yeah.
4:20
I got you. Yeah, yeah.
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So I don't man, it's such a toss up.
4:25
Say it, say one. You gotta pick one.
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OK for just the sweater on its own, I'm going with Danny.
4:30
OK if it was overall vibes then I would go with.
4:32
Andy, great. So we're still 5050.
4:34
Yep. All right.
4:35
So we're not the tiebreakers at all.
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I don't know why you thought that that was gonna.
4:38
I thought that we would both be on the same side.
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OK, whatever. It's fine.
4:42
Listen, I've been saying since we covered The Shining that I
4:45
love Danny's sweaters. So.
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Well, we've also said the same about Andy's.
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And I did. OK, let's move on.
4:52
There's enough sweater talk. We're talking about pieces.
4:55
We're talking about this lovely, absurd little 80s trash monster
4:59
movie. Yeah, not a monster movie, but
5:00
it's a trash monster all in. Its own.
5:02
It's a trash monster. It is.
5:04
It's very trash. Yeah.
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Exploitation. It's our fucking jam.
5:08
Right here. It's sleaze.
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It's I've been calling this Trav's trashy birthday.
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So yeah, that's gonna fit in just nice with all the Fast and
5:17
Furious stuff that's gonna be. Happening.
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Yep. Yep.
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Yep. OK, so on to Pieces.
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Let's begin. Pieces originally released
5:27
August 23rd, 1982 in Spain. We watched it on Peacock.
5:33
Surprising. That surprised me.
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Surprising to Jesse, to anybody else, if you look on Peacock's
5:39
selection, they've got the shit, which is they've always had this
5:43
shit on there. Weird cuz I'm assuming that when
5:46
I read off where to watch it last week that Peacock was
5:48
there. This should have been but.
5:51
I don't remember. So we watched it there.
5:54
I assume with the rights of this right here, I never see it
5:57
shifting. So you can probably still watch
5:58
it at Peacock, Fubo, Shutter, Roku, TV to be Pluto or Plex,
6:04
all of those mostly free, some of them paid, but this thing is
6:09
accessible. So it's out there.
6:10
Yeah, you can rent it, of course, in all of the usual
6:13
places. Written by Dick Randall, Roberto
6:17
Loyola and Juan Piquer Simone. Directed by Juan Piquer Simone,
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Music by Cam Cam. That is a name that's just given
6:29
to music that was like in like a library that they were able to
6:34
use, which has some of the Java people that we've done before.
6:41
OK, let me pull it up here. I just remember that had a cool
6:44
name that we were very familiar with.
6:48
Is it what's his face that works with?
6:52
What's his face? You know, probably, yeah, it
6:57
probably is the guy that works with the other guy.
6:59
Zombie. Who's that director?
7:01
Yeah, Fabrio Fritzi. Fabrio Fritzi, yes.
7:04
I think it is him. Let me see.
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And who's the director that I'm trying to think of his name?
7:10
Thank you scrolling. OK, here we go.
7:12
Yeah, Fabio. Scrolling, scrolling.
7:14
Scrolling. It's used library music from
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several composers, including Stelvio Cypriani and Fabio
7:22
Fritzi, collectively credited as Camp.
7:25
OK, so they're like the original super group?
7:27
I think this, I don't think that they are a group, I think they
7:31
just it's a collective credit, but they individually compose.
7:34
They're just making a joke. OK, yeah, so the Spanish version
7:39
and the international version have completely different
7:41
soundtracks. Oh, really?
7:42
Yeah, so that's that's the international soundtrack.
7:44
That's what we got. The Spanish one had a whole
7:46
other composer. What was the college like fight
7:52
song do you think? I have no idea.
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I hate it though. I don't want to ever hear it
7:56
again. Directed by Juan Picquierce.
7:59
Oh, I already did that. Special effects makeup by Bacio
8:04
Cortigio. OK, starring Ian Sarah as
8:08
Kendall One today. George is Mary Riggs,
8:11
Christopher George as Lieutenant Bracken, Frank Brania as
8:14
Sergeant Randy Holden, Edmund Purdum as the Dean, Paul L Smith
8:19
as Willard, and Jack Taylor as Professor Brown.
8:22
I'm sorry. I believe you mean Willard.
8:25
Willard, if you must pronounce it like that.
8:28
Yes. All right, time for our favorite
8:30
game on the show. Budget or budget?
8:36
Yeah, that's me. Bug Ted.
8:39
Yeah, I mean it is very much bug Ted.
8:43
This movie has a budget of $300,000.
8:48
OK. Opening box office with 604
8:52
worldwide gross. Like just 600 and. 4000 Oh yeah,
8:56
I didn't think, I think I would have specified $604.00 because
9:00
that would be absurd if that was the case.
9:04
Well, you just stopped short and it was jarring.
9:08
I'm starting over. The movie budget $300,000, The
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opening box office, $604,000. Worldwide gross, $2,000,000.
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IMDb score 6 out of 10. Wowee.
9:20
Yeah, not too bad. OK.
9:21
Yeah, a lot of people seem to like this one.
9:23
Good for them. I'm happy about it.
9:24
Yeah. So 1982 movies.
9:27
I have a theme. OK.
9:28
The theme I have is how you take a a Jolo and evolve it into what
9:33
essentially becomes pieces. OK.
9:36
So like we're just like. So we're like Pokémon evolution?
9:39
It's like you're taking a Xiao and you're putting it in a
9:41
microwave and it's like melting into this fucking weird thing
9:44
that we end up getting here. And then you freeze it, and then
9:47
you thaw it, and then you throw it on the grill and char it and
9:50
that's how you get pieces. That's how you do it.
9:52
Yeah, that's the exact. I like this theme.
9:54
You're big into recipes lately. I'm just.
9:57
I'm OK with it. Yeah.
9:58
Yeah. All right.
9:59
So movie number one. OK, Tenebrae.
10:03
OK, so we're peak jaw right here.
10:05
Yes, we're going like top tier quality.
10:07
This is Argento show. Talk about Tenebray.
10:09
We will for sure. I love that movie.
10:11
It's a great movie. I need more Jawas on this show.
10:14
So Tenebray released October 27th, 1982.
10:19
I don't have budget or gross for any of these movies.
10:22
That actually tracks. I was impressed that you had
10:24
anything for pieces. I was impressed that I had
10:26
things for pieces also. So IMDb score though for
10:30
Tenebrae is 7 out of 10, yes. So it's correct, yeah, could be
10:34
higher even I would say. I would argue it should be.
10:38
Yeah, I would. So are we, are we falling a
10:41
little bit into the rude scale here then?
10:44
Disrespected. OK, not rude, but it's like a
10:47
swipe. Yeah.
10:48
OK. So just a little short.
10:50
Yeah, just a tad. Yeah.
10:52
All right. Movie #2 Madman.
10:57
OK, OK. So, Matt, like you're taking the
11:01
Jao and you're turning it into a slasher now?
11:03
OK, OK. It's broken down into its
11:05
components here. It's melted into a slasher at
11:07
this point. And also Mad Men is amazing but
11:12
makes very little sense. Oh yeah, so that works.
11:14
See. Yeah, we're certain to like,
11:15
boost coherence. Yes, it's becoming a little bit.
11:17
What the fuck have we talked? About Mad Men on our show, No.
11:20
We've talked about it on others. That's another one that I've
11:23
been waiting for a good time for, and now could be a good
11:25
time, but. That one also has a banger
11:27
soundtrack. Do you marry the madman, Mars?
11:31
The man that did the reading? Rainbow, Yeah.
11:33
And let's sing and have sex in a hot tub, maybe.
11:37
Yeah, TP. Yeah, TP.
11:41
Yeah, we will talk about that one.
11:42
We'll talk about all three of these movies.
11:44
Here I'm excited for what the third one is.
11:46
No, you're not. No.
11:49
Oh God, is it the Donald Duck one?
11:51
Hold on, let's get through Madman first.
11:54
So Madman released January 15th, 1982.
11:59
Again, no budget, no gross, but the IMDb is 5.1 out of 10.
12:03
Definitely rude. Very rude.
12:05
OK, so now we take that we're getting down in the microwave a
12:10
little bit more. I'm going to.
12:12
Throw my clipboard. It's melted just a tad bit.
12:15
It's still a solid, but it's not quite a liquid yet.
12:18
Fucking swear. The New Yorker.
12:20
God. Damn it.
12:23
It will be discussed on this show.
12:25
Yeah, that's probably next August.
12:28
See now at this point here it got melted down to a slasher.
12:34
It got melted down to like an almost liquid now.
12:36
And this is where it pops and makes a mess in the microwave.
12:39
Where you're getting all of the ingredients, you're getting, oh,
12:42
here's a Jolo, here's a slasher, you get all, here's Donald
12:44
Duck's voice. Like where the fuck did that
12:46
come from? It was part of the ingredients
12:48
all along, folks. Always been there, always been
12:50
part of the shallow DNA. Donald Duck.
12:53
So New York Ripper released March 4th, 1980 Two 6.3 out of
13:01
10. That's rude, but in a different
13:03
way. No, man, look, you are a
13:07
minority with that one right there.
13:09
Most people like that one. But then again, I think the
13:12
people that know that they will like that seek that one out.
13:15
Yeah, and that's what I did. I have watched that movie
13:18
against my will. You will again.
13:22
So those are the three movies. And then you melt it down just a
13:26
little bit for 10 more seconds in the microwave, and then you
13:29
get pieces. Yeah, and then by that point,
13:31
the splatters that are all over the microwave have like,
13:33
hardened to it. And that's when you walk away.
13:36
And I'm the one that opens up the microwave later and goes
13:38
seriously, what the fuck? I could be it exactly so this
13:42
leads perfectly into our tagline section.
13:45
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that these actually the
13:50
main tagline pretty perfect. It's my favorite tagline for a
13:54
movie ever and it's pretty perfect.
13:56
It's perfect for like the state of it after the microwave.
13:59
Like once it gets to that, the tagline of this movie, everybody
14:03
is it's exactly what you think it is pieces.
14:07
That's it. That's exactly what you think it
14:09
is. Fantastic.
14:10
I love it. All right, I'm having to pull up
14:13
my phone for all of these other ones because there's a shit ton
14:16
of tag lines out here. So, in no particular order, next
14:20
we have you don't have to go to Texas for a chainsaw massacre.
14:24
That's fair. That's fair, because.
14:26
You have referred to this as the Chainsaw movie on more than one
14:29
occasion and I've gotten confused if you mean a Chainsaw
14:32
Massacre or this movie. The Chainsaw movie is a
14:35
reference to video violence. Remember, they go into there and
14:40
the guys are trying to rent the movie.
14:41
He's like, hey, can I get the chainsaw movie?
14:42
And then it's like pieces. And we were both like, wouldn't
14:45
that be Texas Chainsaw? Masterpiece.
14:47
Yes. And The thing is that my
14:48
goldfish brain forgets that every single time.
14:51
So when you say it, I'm like Mike.
14:54
Yeah. So.
14:55
That's fair. Next up, fear is so intense it
15:00
will grab you by the balls. That's so good.
15:05
That is, I like that. Next Violence, brutality, rage.
15:13
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. A madman is on the prowl.
15:18
See him before he sees you. No, I don't like that one
15:23
though, because literally all of the victims see him.
15:26
No, they don't. Yeah, cuz like we see pretty
15:28
much all of them go like, oh hi, it's you at least the last like
15:33
three or four. The one in the pool gets netted
15:36
and is knocked out way too easy. In all of those cases, though,
15:39
he's already watching them beforehand.
15:40
He sees them before they see him.
15:42
He's selected them. He's prowling on them.
15:44
Yeah, but it also doesn't matter because he's like unknown
15:47
quantity for them. Don't care?
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All right in his hands he has the power, his mind has the
15:54
will. Death is his master.
15:56
Anyone can beat his prey. A gruesome and chilling feature
15:59
you will never be able to forget.
16:01
Too much? That's too much of A fart.
16:03
Smelly. I like it.
16:05
Tagline. I like it.
16:07
The Chainsaw Devil. He's a real bastard.
16:10
Yes, that's Charlie Kelly. Yes.
16:14
Chainsaw Devil. Real bastard.
16:16
Man. Chainsaw devil.
16:17
Bastard man. You know what?
16:20
That's a good name. There's Chainsaw Devil, Bastard
16:22
Man, can we make that movie? Can we make that our tagline?
16:26
Chainsaw devil bastard man devil bastard.
16:28
Man, I'm writing it down, Axe. We'll forget by the time we get
16:30
to the end. That's a contender for it's
16:33
exactly what you think it is. His devastating tool made women
16:36
scream. So kindle Or is cuz kindle does
16:41
make a woman scream with his devastating tool.
16:44
I have so many thoughts about that scene that we'll get to it.
16:49
I love the Devil and. When you meet him, you'll go to
16:54
pieces. A macabre story of revenge.
17:00
No. An invitation to terror coeds
17:05
better run. Yes, most like most popular
17:10
horror movies. Yes, most people, yeah.
17:12
In this case, absolutely no one under 17 admitted to this
17:16
performance. I thought you were about to say
17:18
absolutely no one understands this.
17:22
My brain auto filled that. That's also a good tagline
17:27
though. Absolutely no one understands
17:29
this man. We got some good contenders
17:32
here. Yeah.
17:32
And we'll see if we get to, maybe we'll find another one by
17:35
then. So this is the first time that
17:37
we're gonna have go into it with multiple contenders.
17:39
Yeah, I like this one. The sum of the parts equals the
17:42
whole body. That's pretty cool.
17:45
Yeah, that actually. Yeah, that works.
17:48
If you think you're safe on campus, you're dead wrong.
17:51
Ha all. Right, final one, if you like
17:55
strong thrills, come to see us, but do not come alone, just in
17:59
case. That has like the very classic
18:02
old school tagline that isn't really about the movie, but it's
18:05
more about like the fear of the movie, All last House on the
18:08
left. Just keep repeating to yourself,
18:10
it's only a movie. It's only a movie.
18:12
Which is funny considering this movie is like not scary and
18:16
slightest. No, no, it's just like.
18:18
Really gory and just really fun. Yeah.
18:21
All right, so fun facts. OK, so one had originally been
18:28
handed the treatment for ATV movie called Jigsaw.
18:32
It was gonna be a thriller. I know.
18:35
It was like connections with Jigsaw and, you know, Saw and
18:38
stuff like that. He took the basic idea of that
18:41
though, and ended up writing a whole screenplay.
18:43
And the screenplay ended up being so small that they had to
18:47
improvise all the dialogue and a lot of moments on like the
18:51
scenes because the screenplay was only 30 pages long.
18:56
So this movie's like pretty much all improv like dialogue scenes
19:00
show like that. They just wanted to take
19:01
advantage of certain locations if they ever got there.
19:03
And that's just kind of what we get.
19:05
No, that makes less sense. It makes perfect.
19:07
Sense. No, it makes less sense.
19:09
OK, OK, OK. We'll talk about it.
19:12
We'll talk about it. When the day George and
19:15
Christopher George are an actual married couple, they are
19:18
together. They got the roles in this film
19:21
due to Christopher owing some film makers some favors
19:24
apparently. So OK, they were given the roles
19:28
pretty easily. They were under the impression
19:32
though that it was going to be a murder mystery, and when they
19:35
ended up seeing it, they were shocked to see that it was a
19:37
chainsaw exploitation flick. So they tried removing their
19:41
names from the film. Quick tangent, tangential
19:46
question. OK, is there a chainsaw movie
19:49
that wouldn't fall under the exploitation genre?
19:55
I guess it depends. I wouldn't call evil death
20:01
exploitation. He's got a chainsaw hand, that
20:04
is true. That's a that's a good.
20:05
And same with Army of Darkness when he brings it there too, I
20:09
think. Does he?
20:10
I think he does. It's been a long time since I've
20:13
seen Army of Darkness. I just got the.
20:14
Boomstick in Army of Darkness. He does, but I think he still
20:17
has the chainsaw arm temporarily.
20:18
Think OK because. He gets sent back in time at the
20:20
end of that and he's still rocking the chainsaw hand so.
20:23
Yeah, but when he goes back there with his boomstick, you
20:25
can't operate a boomstick one handed.
20:27
He does in that movie several times.
20:29
That's. True.
20:30
I guess Ash Williams is kind of a badass.
20:32
All right, We just. I like that that's where you
20:34
draw the line. To rewatch Army of Darkness is
20:37
what I'm getting from this. I'm obviously I love this movie.
20:40
Yeah, it's great. So surprisingly, the look of the
20:44
killer is actually not based off of a shallow with the black
20:48
gloves and the black coat and everything like that.
20:50
It's actually based off of the comic book character called The
20:52
Shadow. Yeah, no, I was the whole time.
20:54
Anytime we would see the full silhouette I was like, this
20:56
looks full cartoon comic book character.
20:58
Yeah, it's cool. I had always been under the
21:01
impression that it was shallowest intentionally.
21:04
No, it's very like illustration coded.
21:07
I like it though, Yeah, it's really cool.
21:08
The shadowy scenes where he's peeking through the doors, this
21:11
will look really cool like that. Yeah.
21:14
So they had to hire a tennis coach because none of the actors
21:19
could play tennis at all, OK. And they needed to look somewhat
21:23
convincing because one of the main characters is like a
21:26
professional tennis player. And they had to actually bring
21:30
that coach on set to teach them how to like clob it.
21:35
I feel like they probably could have just not written in that
21:39
she's a tennis instructor and like could have made her
21:41
literally any other type of profession.
21:45
I like how they were like all in for improvising all kinds of
21:47
other shit, but then when that came to be like no, let's bring
21:50
in the coach. The tennis is very like critical
21:53
to the plot in this movie. The only thing that's critical
21:56
is the one student that gets sawed up in the locker room and
22:02
there's like another way to bring them over to that setting.
22:06
Yeah, that's true. Yeah.
22:09
So Bruce Guay, he is the guy that arrives when he is, You
22:14
know that we get the little Kung Fu scene just in the movie for
22:17
whatever reason there's. A Kung Fu professor.
22:20
Yeah, he is a Kung Fu professor. Yeah.
22:23
The only reason we get him in this movie is because Dick
22:25
Randall, one of the writers on this, worked with him on five
22:29
Bruce Pointation flicks, and he asked one if you could bring him
22:34
in the film. He's like, yeah, fuck yeah.
22:36
Like we're doing anything. We're improvising this shit.
22:38
Like, just bring him in here and we'll have him do some Kung Fu.
22:40
It'll be a great time. There is a very excellent bit
22:44
from Joe Bob about Bruce flitation movies in the Last
22:50
Drive in episode about Pieces if you are interested in watching.
22:54
It's amazing. That guy is in a lot of Shah
22:58
scope movies. He might be in our box.
23:00
So yeah, I was going to say, I feel like we've probably watched
23:02
him at some point, so. I really feel like we must have.
23:06
Yeah, he he seems like he was a big deal over there.
23:09
All right. And final thing, there was
23:11
interest in the sequel. One was busy initially though,
23:15
so it didn't get going, but after the fact he ended up
23:19
showing interests years later, but they couldn't get it off the
23:23
ground at that point. However, back in 1988, there was
23:26
a trademark made for pieces too. And in 1989 when somebody did a
23:34
record search, they did find a screenplay for pieces too.
23:39
I was called pieces, two pieces. Pieces.
23:41
Two pieces. Yeah.
23:42
God, that's so good. Pieces to pieces.
23:45
Yeah, I like it. That's a good title name.
23:47
So, yeah, we could have had a sequel to this, but we don't.
23:52
It's just it's a little magical Unicorn.
23:55
How do you outdo art? I don't know, I would have loved
23:58
to have seen an attempt at it though.
24:01
All right, that's it for fun facts.
24:03
So on to our good, bad, ugly and absurd.
24:06
Jesse, it's time for you to kick it off.
24:08
What did you like about it? This movie, this is a very silly
24:12
movie, and the fact that it doesn't take itself too
24:16
seriously is that I think works for it and it just makes it fun.
24:20
And you can just turn off your brain.
24:22
And in fact, it's better if you do turn off your brain to watch
24:26
this movie. There's parts of it that
24:28
requires some thought, but then really there doesn't really
24:31
require too much. Thought it's a very precarious
24:34
amount of thought because too much thought and it all falls
24:36
apart. Yeah.
24:39
But I, I don't know, I think it's I think it's fun.
24:42
I think that they they had fun. So it does sue people.
24:51
You just make some speech, but you can't even talk.
24:53
It's gory, I like that. It's nasty and it's not afraid
24:57
to go there. That's fun for like the gore
24:59
hound and me. And the ending has a nice final
25:05
jump. I don't know that it makes much
25:06
sense either, but. How OK does it?
25:09
It doesn't matter. Yeah, it was just cool.
25:12
Yeah, it's a fun movie to have on.
25:16
It's a fun movie. It's just a fun, right?
25:18
Yeah. Yeah, so I like, it's just, it's
25:21
a vibey thing, you know what I mean?
25:23
Like I, I am OK with what I get with pieces because it knows
25:26
what it is. It is what it is.
25:28
It's sleazy, it's slacky, it's gory and it's a little bit
25:33
insane. And that's all fun.
25:36
It's a fun time. I agree 110%.
25:40
My thing is basically it's a beautiful baby of a jello and a
25:45
slasher fuck and like this is it this which get when that
25:48
happens. It prioritizes fun over making
25:51
sense and sometimes movies like that can struggle.
25:55
We had cruel World, which I feel like did that, but I feel like
25:57
this movie kind of had the magic formula where everything
26:00
actually came together. We have people making terrible
26:03
performances. We have movies scenes that don't
26:05
make sense. We have amazing gore.
26:07
We have amazing villain, we have great set pieces.
26:12
It's just awesome. Absurd dialogue all throughout.
26:15
So many quotable lines. My favorite running bit is a
26:19
Detective Bracken just wanting a fucking light for his cigar and
26:24
nobody has a light ever. It's amazing.
26:27
There's so many good scenes and horrible moments in this movie.
26:31
I love it. It's bad in the best ways.
26:34
Yes, that's exactly what this movie is.
26:36
It's not like actually high art, it's not good.
26:39
It's just trash. If you like trash, this is what
26:43
it is. And goddamn this is like some of
26:45
the best trash you can find out there also.
26:47
It's, you know, sometimes you want like a greasy hamburger and
26:53
those fries that make the bag basically translucent.
26:56
And then you're going to drink like the sugariest, syrupiest
27:01
Coke and you're going to feel maybe a little bit like shit,
27:05
but also you're gonna you have scratched that like subhuman
27:10
itch inside of you to just appease.
27:12
It's junk food. Yeah, and it's horror movie junk
27:15
food. That's exactly what it is.
27:17
It's also the perfect length. It's a short movie.
27:20
It's only an hour and 20 minutes, so you don't have to
27:24
sit with it for too long. It's one of those that you
27:27
paused at one point last night and you're like, wow, I can't
27:31
believe that there's only or you're like, I can't believe
27:35
that there's still 1/2 hour left.
27:37
And I was like, I can't believe that there's only 1/2 hour left.
27:39
So it's one of those movies that feels like it's a breakneck
27:44
speed, but because there's very little actual plot happening,
27:48
it's fine. The movie doesn't know what is
27:50
happening or how it should progress that you're like are at
27:53
like 20 minutes till the end. And the movie's like, I don't
27:56
know, should I be winding things down?
27:58
No, no, OK, sure. Let's go.
27:59
Let's fucking keep going. They like keep it at that same
28:03
speed until they have they have to get.
28:05
Married to the Dean's apartment. Yeah, like 10 minutes left and
28:08
they're like, OK, OK, we need to maybe wind things down.
28:12
We'll make her just not able to move again and OK, cool, that
28:15
slows it. So yeah, that's, I mean, that's
28:18
all the good things I have to say about this.
28:20
So what are the bad things you don't already you didn't like
28:25
about it? I'm gonna save my initial
28:31
reaction for the bad. I'm going to save it for the
28:33
ugly. OK, I don't.
28:36
It's hard to say a bad when we just said is good because it's
28:40
bad. Well, that's part of my I mean,
28:41
there are bad things about this movie now.
28:45
Can I talk about the bad fake blood?
28:47
Because that's just red paint, and that shit's just red paint
28:50
in a way that's inexcusable. Like his mama's shoes still have
28:53
red paint splatters down inside 40 years later.
28:55
So that right there, that part, sure, but the gore that we get,
29:03
so you know that scene where she gets chainsawed in the shower
29:06
and like you see, actually like penetrate her stomach.
29:09
So like that's all actual shit. They got a pig carcass for that.
29:14
And so that's all actual blood, guts and stuff actually coming
29:17
out there. So that looks good when when
29:19
they did that like it looks convincing.
29:21
Yeah, it's just like when they have to do blood splatters.
29:24
Yeah, it's very much red paint. Yeah.
29:27
So yeah, which is I guess of the time, but.
29:31
Yeah, it's what? That's on.
29:31
It's distracting. True nonetheless.
29:33
So OK, well, the bad things I have to say, I mean, it's kind
29:37
of the things I said in the good.
29:38
But The thing is like, it will be bad if you don't find that
29:42
stuff charming. I find that stuff very charming,
29:45
but it's very much like a suited to your taste type thing.
29:48
So if you don't fall in love with this movie, I can
29:51
understand how you can hate it. So like, it's so easily
29:54
divisive. This is a movie that I'm not
29:57
going to blanket recommend it to people.
29:59
I want to get at least an idea of your vibe before I'm like,
30:04
yes. At the same time, I feel like
30:07
this movie could also awaken that part of you.
30:10
Like, you wouldn't know that that is the thing that you want.
30:12
Like you're like watching a 24 shit all the time and you're
30:15
like, hey, maybe watch pieces. And then they watch that and I'm
30:17
like, whoa, open them to a whole world.
30:19
Yeah, gates are open. Except not in an obnoxious way.
30:22
But they're like, now I hate elevated horror.
30:24
They're like, man, there's all kinds of different horror and
30:27
that's great. It's nice, right?
30:29
You don't have to like like like.
30:31
Different types of movies at different times.
30:33
It's great. OK.
30:36
That's a foreign concept though, I know.
30:38
That doesn't actually exist. Yeah, you.
30:40
Have to pick a lane. OK, so what's your ugly then?
30:46
The script and This is why I feel aghast that you're saying
30:51
that it's mostly improv because the script is very men writing
30:54
women. Like she breasted bubbly down
30:58
the stairs and her memories were swollen with booby goodness
31:03
like. See, I think some of that
31:05
happened with the dubbing. I don't think maybe like in the
31:09
original Spanish version, like the dialogue and the DOB is so
31:13
over the top. Like that scene with Kindle,
31:15
she's like, oh, you can fucking gag me.
31:17
And she's like putting on a performance that's.
31:18
What I was about to say, like, what was up with Kendall's Dick?
31:21
Too powerful? Like why is that?
31:23
Like, oh, you're going to get me kicked out the door?
31:26
News flash, coeds fuck in the dorms.
31:28
Everybody knows about it. It's just like, yeah, I think
31:32
that it was just like a dub ISM. Thing like his Dick is so
31:35
powerful he's going to get expelled.
31:36
Sorry Kendall, not buying it. Yeah, I don't know.
31:40
He's like real popular on that campus though.
31:43
Like they really do want us to believe that his Dick be that
31:46
powerful. And then we've got like, the
31:48
most beautiful thing in the world is smoking pot and fucking
31:51
on a waterbed at the exact same time.
31:53
Oh. Man, so I was actually, I was
31:56
watching the just Joe Bob part and he was kind of talking about
31:59
that line of dialogue there. And essentially what he calls
32:04
the reasoning for stuff like that is this movie is set in
32:08
Boston. All right?
32:10
This movie is. Big fake.
32:12
In Spain, it was filmed in Spain.
32:14
So this is somebody that is not familiar with American culture,
32:18
American colleges. That is what he thought we are
32:22
like over here. He thinks that's what a typical
32:25
Coed college student talks about.
32:27
That is a very ugly mirror to have held up to you.
32:31
I think it's kind of funny. It's just so stupid you're so
32:34
far removed from. Hilarious.
32:35
But like, I mean, it makes sense because there are a lot of
32:40
things from other cultures that we don't understand, you know?
32:43
And if we had to write a movie about it, like we're either
32:46
gonna do a lot of intense research or we're gonna be like,
32:48
fuck it, we're going with our own biases and we'll see what
32:51
happens from it. I mean, it's, I don't know, man,
32:55
It's it just kind of gives it just that weird likeability.
32:59
I don't know. Like it's not like it's, it's
33:02
almost poetic when you hear that.
33:04
Like there's nothing better than fucking and smoking fucking on a
33:07
waterbed and smoking weed, whatever.
33:09
Like I don't. Know see, you're not a poet, so
33:12
you can't even recreate the line.
33:14
You're right. Yeah, I I do have it written
33:16
down here, but yeah, you're right.
33:19
So I don't know. Yeah, it's just it it it feels
33:25
gratuitous in that kind of a way.
33:28
Like OK, it's OK if we kill all these people off because they
33:30
are sluts except for Kendall because a man sluts fine.
33:35
Well, he's only killing women because he's trying to make the
33:40
woman puzzle. Yes.
33:41
And I, I get that. But like, it's just it, it's a
33:44
weird kind of underlying thing that happens throughout horror
33:47
where there's like a moralistic sense to it.
33:49
And the fact that this is so sleazily written and kind of
33:51
really emphasizes that, you know?
33:54
Honestly, it's kind of like that Tim and Eric bit with like the
33:58
feminine feet. Like if, yeah, if the killer
34:02
stopped and like I'd my feet for a second there was like maybe I
34:06
would be offended. Like really like my feet.
34:10
And then also, like, there's a weird moment of like with
34:14
Professor Brown being gay and like, the way the Dean is really
34:18
like, I don't have a problem. I think personally he's a little
34:21
bit like internal homophobia. I don't have a problem with it
34:24
though, I swear. Also, did you know that he's
34:27
unmarried and lives with his mother?
34:29
I love that so much. That's so funny.
34:32
And he's just like giving the detectives the low down on you.
34:37
And let's go over to absurd, OK? No, you didn't do your ugly.
34:41
Yeah, no, you just you started talking about Tim and Eric and
34:44
got. Lost in.
34:45
The pot. I guess like the main, like
34:49
other than him doing the whole like targeting the women to make
34:52
a nude puzzle, the mom from the beginning, I got the kids just
34:58
up there like playing his puzzle like it's a it's a dirty puzzle.
35:01
I'll give him credit for that or I'll give her I'll, I'll say
35:06
it's fine to be a little bit upset about that, but she's
35:08
like. Full of Carrie White on him.
35:10
Well, she is like you fucking idiot, like, why are you doing
35:13
that? You're just like your dad.
35:14
He sucks and then she hits him and that.
35:18
Or not Carrie White, Carrie's mom.
35:20
Whatever, I know what you. Mean Margaret White.
35:22
Yeah, yeah, He it's the kid. The kid didn't have it coming.
35:28
Yeah. She is the reason he is the way
35:30
he is today. And I'm just going to say
35:33
because we have a we have a copy of this God forsaken puzzle and
35:37
if somebody came in and destroyed our progress on it, I
35:42
would probably lose my cool a little bit.
35:45
Except this kids got maybe 152 hundred piece version of it.
35:49
Ours is 1000. It's not.
35:53
Fair. If you've seen the puzzle in its
35:55
completed state, but it's 85% pink.
36:00
Pink with like a bunch of varying shades of pink so it's
36:05
so hard to find exactly where it needs to.
36:07
Be there's a very slight gradient to it, it's not very
36:11
obvious and also even the lady not very detailed.
36:15
When we finally put together the nipple piece it was like, oh
36:18
that was a nipple. Wouldn't have known it just from
36:20
looking at the piece. You should know what a nipple
36:21
looks like on site. We were.
36:23
Working on this puzzle last night and I think it was maybe
36:27
45 minutes all. Of Scream 4.
36:30
Well, I started on the armpit and then I was like, all right,
36:33
I'm gonna look for a nipple because I know what a nipple
36:35
looks like. And I couldn't find a fucking
36:37
nipple in any of the pieces. There was not a standout nipple.
36:41
Yeah, you would think that that would be something easy to find
36:43
that you couldn't. It's just not that easy.
36:45
We watched all of Scream Four and we felt like we made huge
36:49
progress on the puzzle and let me tell you, we put together
36:51
less than 20 pieces. It is.
36:54
It is a lot. Hour and 50 minute movie.
36:57
If somebody came in and and threw our puzzle across the room
37:01
and so they were going to burn it, I would.
37:04
I'm not saying I'm going to murderer because I don't condone
37:06
murder. I despise murderers.
37:10
Oh, John Kramer. Yep, Yep.
37:12
But like, I'd have some pretty harsh words.
37:16
OK, cool for you. You can break in and I'll just
37:19
say get out of here. But you do that.
37:21
You, you fuck with my puzzle. Yeah, we're throwing hands.
37:26
That's when shit gets real to. Cuss, yeah.
37:29
And do the classic box emotion like all right, the cool thing
37:35
about this, the movie, The Blu-ray that they did like a
37:39
release recently, Grindhouse, like a Blu-ray of it and the 1st
37:44
3000 copies sold actually came with the puzzle, but it's only a
37:49
15 piece puzzle so people can put it together pretty fast.
37:52
Yeah, we got ours from messed up puzzles.
37:55
Yeah, they were at the Jamboree. Yeah, the Jamboree in Memphis a
37:58
couple of years ago. That's how long we've been
37:59
working on this bucker. Extended breaks because you need
38:03
to for your own sanity. Yes, because if you work, we had
38:05
a good enough progress last night that I would feel good
38:07
about bringing it out tonight. I don't feel completely
38:10
disheartened, but there have been plenty of times that we've
38:12
had the thing out for three hours and gotten 2 pieces
38:15
together. So that's when you take like a
38:18
two week break from it. Yeah, I do want us to take a
38:20
picture though, and like, I want to share with you all the
38:22
progress and the absurdity of this puzzle, though.
38:25
That way you guys know. It is so much.
38:27
It is so much. It's.
38:29
And it's not like we can keep it casually in a place where we
38:32
walk past the table and maybe if we see something, we can put a
38:35
in there. Because we've got cats, and cats
38:37
are gremlins and they destroy things that you love.
38:40
Yeah, yeah. So OK, absurd.
38:44
Boy, that ugly went on. Hard.
38:47
I get very angry about this puzzle, but I also couldn't stop
38:51
thinking about it while I was getting my hair done today.
38:53
So I was like, I feel really good about the progress it
38:56
concerns. You.
38:57
But yeah, you do feel good about it.
38:58
OK, absurd. There's so many to choose from.
39:06
I guess I'm gonna go with the Kung Fu professor.
39:10
A for being called a Kung Fu professor and B, because he
39:13
straights up lies to Kendall. When Kendall comes by, he goes.
39:17
I was just coming for a run and this lady punched me.
39:20
No, you may have. No, he says he tripped and fell.
39:23
He doesn't want to admit that he got beat up by a woman.
39:26
Yeah, either way, he lied. He lied, yeah.
39:29
He acted like he did nothing. All she did was like fall on her
39:32
back and kick him in the balls. Yeah.
39:33
And then, yeah. And he recovers from it
39:36
gracefully. Yes.
39:37
And he comes up, he's like, oh, yeah, made some bad chops, too.
39:40
We see you later. Yeah.
39:43
OK, that's that's not even the most absurd thing from.
39:45
That it's. The the most absurd thing from
39:47
that, it's like after all that happened, all of a sudden you
39:50
hear what might be a chainsaw, but no, it's just Kindle rolling
39:52
in on a fucking dirt bike. Yeah, where?
39:55
Why I feel. Like, you're not supposed to
39:57
have that on the sidewalk either.
39:58
But he was like his his dorm was right there, like he was like
40:03
within shout at speaking distance to Mary.
40:06
And he like, let me run out, go to the parking lot, get my dirt
40:10
bike, roll in and ride on the fucking.
40:13
Yeah, when he's like you got, he's like, I saw you from the
40:16
dorm window and I wanted to make sure you got to where you were
40:18
going safely. But by the time I got down here,
40:20
you were gone. And it's because you were
40:21
getting your fucking dirt bike out, Ken Doll.
40:23
So funny. He's like, I wanted to make sure
40:24
you were safe. So for me to do that, I went to
40:27
go all the way over here and in that time you got attacked.
40:30
I also had to put on 25 layers of sweaters.
40:33
Yeah. Cuz.
40:35
That man is like, what is his name in House of Wax that's
40:40
wearing the million sweaters? Oh yeah, that guy.
40:43
And he won't give. What's her face?
40:45
The shirt. I always forget he's oh, he's
40:48
the guy from Meet the Parents. What else is he in?
40:50
He's in. Oh, he's in Scary Movie.
40:52
Yes, we do this every single time, Yeah.
40:55
Bobby in Scary Movie. He's Bobby and Denny and the guy
40:59
with many shirts and House of Wax.
41:00
He's Chad Michael Murray's friend.
41:03
OK. So you got any other absurds?
41:06
I mean so many but I just chose one to specifically pick on.
41:10
That's fine. So that's we're about to talk
41:12
about this movie for probably longer than is necessary and
41:17
most of it will be absurd, so. That's fine.
41:19
That's fair. Yeah, Yeah, yeah.
41:22
My experts were the quoted lines.
41:24
I've, I've got several written down in my notes here.
41:27
We already talked about the fucking in the bed.
41:29
But the other one, when he's like given the rundown on
41:32
Professor Brown, is like, yes, he's unmarried and lives with
41:35
his mother. And then he like, walks in
41:36
through the door. He's like, ah, yes, Professor
41:38
Brown. Yeah, there's that fucking
41:39
loser. Yeah, and then you got the guy.
41:41
We never got his friend's name. Yeah, I think they briefly said
41:46
it at 1:00. Point they called him God was
41:47
one time and I checked IMDb which is not a single person
41:50
credited that so I can't tell who it is say.
41:53
His name once, very briefly, but he is funny where he's like.
41:57
So I'm slayed by a withering stare.
41:58
Sue me and you lost your shit. It's funny.
42:01
And that was another one I was going to quote here.
42:03
It's like he tries to hit on a woman.
42:04
He's like, hey, what are you doing after work and or after
42:07
this? And she doesn't do anything.
42:08
It's just stares and he's like, huh, So I'm squared with another
42:10
withering look, who gives a shit?
42:12
And he just like, walks away. It's just so funny.
42:15
Whoever did his dubbing went way harder than was necessary, and
42:20
God bless him. He's also he's just a weird
42:22
character because there's also that scene of him like a
42:24
following. Kendall.
42:27
Yeah, and. He's walking right outside the
42:29
doorway. And then, like, Kendall turns
42:31
around and then he has a mask on and he's like, ha, ha, gotcha.
42:34
And then he, like, does like the little Raspberry thing and just
42:36
walks away laughing. And he's like, that's the last
42:38
we see of him. Yeah.
42:39
He just disappears. He pops off.
42:43
Yeah, there's so many other ones.
42:44
The only other one I'll talk about is the bastard scene where
42:49
Riggs just get so pissed off that the killer struck again,
42:52
and then she's like bastard, bastard.
42:57
It's It's also funny that Kendall the entire time is
43:00
trying to fuck her. And then after that scene, he
43:03
loses interest entirely. He's like, he's like, he looks
43:06
visibly frightened at her doing that in that scene.
43:10
Yeah, things got really intense for him.
43:13
Before. He was just having fun playing
43:16
cop. And playing cop in like a real
43:18
fucking murder case. Yeah, it's so bizarre.
43:21
This movie is so fucking insane. OK.
43:25
It's time to rate it. 7 1/2. Seven and a.
43:30
Half Yeah, it's good sleazy fun. Yeah, OK, man, I have more fun
43:37
with this than that. I'm going to give a nine and a
43:40
half. Damn dog.
43:41
I love this movie. This movie is one of my favorite
43:44
slashers. It's just so fucking fun.
43:47
It's balls to the wall, man. So what's the is it 8 and
43:53
258-287-5850? There you go. 8 in there.
43:59
OK. Keep it all in.
44:02
I got there. You did.
44:04
You did get there. So 8 1/2, that's in all right.
44:08
Excellent. This is a solid starting average
44:10
for pieces. OK, cool.
44:12
All right, let's get into it. OK, so it's in Boston.
44:17
Boston. Yep, your cousin from Boston.
44:22
I like how we start off with this kid doing the puzzle, but
44:25
he's for whatever reason just singing about Humpty Dumpty.
44:28
Yeah, and this is 1942. I think I got distracted doing
44:30
this habit at Adams Commercial that I forgot to say.
44:33
It's 1942. Yeah, he's doing the Humpty
44:35
Dumpty. I was gonna say chant, Jingle,
44:39
rhyme, rhyme, nursery rhyme. OK, I don't know.
44:43
Is it nursery rhyme? Whatever.
44:45
Sure. OK.
44:47
Yeah, yeah, really illustrated with like an egg man on a wall.
44:50
Maybe that's why his mom got mad, because she was having the
44:52
same thing. Yeah.
44:53
Fucking song rhyme. What?
44:55
What the fuck is that? Whatever.
44:57
We eat Eggland's best in this house.
44:59
Yeah, so she goes over there and she, like, goes off on him for
45:03
doing this dirty puzzle. And she says he's like his dad
45:06
and hits him and he goes storming off.
45:09
She says get a plastic bag, we're going to burn this all.
45:12
And I have to say, Margaret, you probably don't want to be
45:15
burning plastic around your child.
45:17
Or you know how his enjoyment of boobies will be the least of
45:21
your problems. So she takes the puzzle board
45:24
and she smashes it against the mirror.
45:27
And again, this is a key moment in the movie.
45:29
They make sure that, you know, because it slows down for a
45:32
second, Yes. But again, if you think about
45:34
it, you know, after the fact, but like, it's so weird that
45:39
they're like, make a note of that.
45:41
Yeah, she smashed a mirror. Yes, and it's not like you
45:45
immediately forget about it, because it's not like the Dean
45:48
sees this. But in the next scene, a girl is
45:50
gonna Bart Simpson into a pane of glass.
45:52
It's actually a mirror, and it resembles the mirror shattering.
45:54
And that's supposed to be what triggers the Dean to go on this
45:56
killing spree. That connection was not.
46:01
I would not have ever made that connection where it's not for
46:05
when John Bloom AKA Show about bricks.
46:10
I would not have known about that either.
46:11
Yeah, it needs to be called out for people to be aware of it, I
46:15
believe, yes. So yeah, she does that.
46:19
She starts trying to like fuck his stuff up and while she's
46:22
doing that he went and grabbed an axe and starts cutting her up
46:26
into a bunch of pieces. Now I'm just gonna say I feel
46:30
like somewhere in the 80s, Damian Leon watched this movie
46:34
and he loved the derangement of this child smiling and sawing
46:38
his mom while covered in blood and then doing the puzzle
46:41
silently and like, ha. Ha ha, I could see it.
46:44
Blood. He looks like a little mini Art
46:45
the clown. Yeah, I could see it.
46:48
An actual director of that is, like, heavily influenced by
46:51
this. Yeah.
46:51
Eli Roth has mentioned that this is one of his favorite movies.
46:54
OK, but he also showed Mother's Day at his Bar mitzvah, so how
46:58
good Eli Roth is not, you know, where we compare our normal
47:01
childhood movie watching experiences?
47:03
No, I don't think anybody said anything about it being normal
47:07
though I guarantee you I don't think Dave, Dave and Leone had
47:11
normal ones either. He was watching fucking Tom
47:14
Savini special effects tapes. How to make people die.
47:18
Like essentially. So he cuts off her head.
47:22
There's a woman outside ringing the doorbell and because she's
47:25
not getting an immediate answer, she calls the cops and they are
47:28
their pronto because this is an emergency.
47:31
No clue who this woman is and I my head cannon is that she's
47:36
just a nosy neighbor and just immediately makes it her
47:40
business to get in there. It's not a relative because when
47:42
they go in there, the cops are like, OK, is there anywhere else
47:45
you can go? And she says, oh, he's got an
47:47
aunt that he can go stay with. An hour away, his father's in
47:51
the air service. I feel like you can probably
47:53
call his father for this. They will send soldiers home
47:56
from deployment for these types of things.
47:58
Maybe, I don't know, could be different with.
48:00
Spain, although this was also during World War Two, so.
48:03
It's also a different, different country, yeah.
48:05
So it could be different. So yeah, but this is set in.
48:09
Boston. Boston.
48:10
But they don't fucking know. They're guessing at what that
48:13
stuff is. This is we're getting lost in.
48:15
Yeah, my new details of this stupid movie that's.
48:17
What we do, Travis, this is what the people are here for, right?
48:20
People, Yeah. Exactly, Yeah.
48:22
So yeah, 40 years later when the cops come in, this kid is in one
48:27
of he's got multiple closets in his room, baller and the cops
48:30
come in, they open one closet, find moms head.
48:33
Oh dear. Oh God.
48:34
And then they open the other closet and the kids go, Mommy,
48:38
where is my mommy? He's saying big man, big man,
48:41
mommy, that's the two things. And he's trying to put a story
48:45
there. Big man came in hurt mommy.
48:48
One note for this scene that would elevate it to a level that
48:53
I would find hilarious from like a very specific like subculture
49:02
kind of place as a troll on my end.
49:08
Exchange the dubbing for whoever did Bob stubbing in this scene.
49:12
No, no. I would find that hilarious
49:16
because of how many people would be furious.
49:20
For those who don't know, this is Bob from House by the
49:22
Cemetery and he is notorious for getting shit ton of hate online
49:27
from people because he's got an annoying kid voice apparently.
49:31
And it's not even his voice. He was just was dubbed by a
49:34
woman, a grown woman. Yeah, poor kid gets all the.
49:38
Shit for everybody, not even something under control.
49:40
And I'm like, I don't know, fuck Deborah, who voiced Bob anyway.
49:43
I don't know her real name. So 40 years later, we see
49:49
somebody just skateboarding downtown, just like Jesse said.
49:51
Are you not going to talk about these clearly Halloween rip off
49:55
opening credits? What do you mean?
49:58
We've got an orange and black knife on the left side of the
50:02
screen and then the names of everybody involved just come up
50:06
slowly and orange black backlit font.
50:09
I like the font that they created for this.
50:12
It looks like melty cheese pizza, kind of like that.
50:16
It's a nice like blood. I don't know, it's like a
50:19
cartoonishness to it that I enjoy.
50:22
Very clearly inspired by the Halloween opening credits
50:24
though. As for most swatches.
50:26
In this time, but this was very blatant.
50:29
Oh, yeah, as were most flashes in this time.
50:32
All right, now, 40 years later, we have the woman skateboarding
50:36
across town. She's just saying hi to
50:37
everybody. We get these two people that are
50:40
moving a mirror out of a building, and she doesn't notice
50:44
it, and she runs right through it, causing it to shatter
50:47
everywhere. And this triggers something in a
50:50
killer. And we never know what happens
50:51
to this girl, but we. Presume actually.
50:54
So she is the girl in this next scene that is weighing on the
50:59
one that gets her head shot, head chainsawed off.
51:02
Absolutely not. There's no way she ran into a
51:04
pane of mirrored glass. And it is actually the same
51:08
actor, it's the same character. She escaped it without having
51:13
any injuries whatsoever. She moves on and you can say no,
51:18
you can choose to not believe it, but in the actual war of
51:22
this movie, this is exactly what happened.
51:25
Then I refuse to believe she gets her head chomped off.
51:27
If she can survive smashing into a pane of glass, then I think
51:30
she can survive old Bruno's pervy eyes and Dino Chainsaw
51:35
Charlie. Well, to be fair, people do
51:37
survive the chainsaw attacks in this movie after getting this
51:40
memory. That's true.
51:40
Yeah, it just. But if you lose your head,
51:43
that's when you like. No coming back from.
51:46
That there's not really. You can't argue that.
51:48
So yeah, she's like studying now.
51:51
And she's just over there studying on the grass and
51:54
there's a guy over there chainsawing and she's like, hey,
51:56
can you keep it down? And trying to study?
51:58
He's like, I will only be a couple seconds.
52:00
And he's not wrong, because in a couple of seconds he walks over
52:03
here and chainsaws her head off. Except it's not really Bluto
52:06
doing this. Sorry.
52:07
Willard looks exactly like Bluto from the Popeye cartoon.
52:13
Yeah, this wasn't him, though. It wasn't.
52:16
Somebody else? Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
52:17
Yeah, yeah, She asks Bluto how long he's been doing the
52:21
chainsawing. I didn't pay attention to the
52:22
name there. Gotcha.
52:24
So yeah, Dean is getting a visit from the detectives.
52:30
We get lieutenants and the Sergeant there.
52:33
And when they walk in and what is her name?
52:36
Joan, Jan, Denise, something in the office, I have no idea.
52:41
They say her name more than they say literally any other word in
52:45
this movie. And I still do not know what it
52:48
is. But when she buzzes the Dean to
52:51
let him know that the detectives are there, the intercom sound
52:54
has fucking got to be somebody's because it just goes.
52:58
Yeah, it's all dubbed, man, even the sound effects.
53:02
Even the buzzer. Yep.
53:05
That's how you know, Yeah. So they are in there asking
53:10
about like, just to get a tour of the place essentially, like
53:14
the, you know, like it could be a student, it could be anybody
53:17
on campus here. And if you as the audience would
53:19
like a tour of the place, don't worry, we're going to get a cut
53:22
of the hall where the one student is saying that the most
53:26
beautiful thing in the world is to smoke pot and fuck on a water
53:29
bud at the same time. And then they decide that
53:31
they're going to tease poor for pet.
53:33
Professor. Professor.
53:35
Brand. Yeah, yeah.
53:37
They're gonna tease him and ask where the pectorals are.
53:39
And she says, my friends say, man, look funny.
53:42
And he goes. I assure you, you have very nice
53:44
pectorals. I I'm not buying this.
53:48
With that being college students, she's even like
53:52
pushing out her chest a little bit, like, what are these?
53:55
It feels very middle school bully ask let's fuck with the
53:59
substitute teacher. It doesn't feel like what you do
54:02
in college. Yeah, I mean, he is the anatomy
54:05
professor so. But still it is very much
54:08
teasing. So he is called or OK, he goes
54:12
to talk to the receptionist to talk to the Dean.
54:15
But the Dean's in the meeting. But then luckily the Dean wants
54:18
to talk to him. So he gets called in there.
54:20
And this is when he's like, by the way, this guy lives with his
54:22
mom, not married with kind of a loser.
54:26
Kind of an uneven mustache, which you'll notice if you pause
54:29
the film. Yeah, you're probably going to
54:31
fire him soon just cuz I just don't like his fucking face.
54:35
I just want to be clear, I'm not calling people that are
54:38
unmarried and live with their mom whizzers, but that's just
54:40
the way they. Yeah.
54:41
Says it in this. Movie.
54:41
It's the. Way he says it.
54:43
Yeah, he's just like trying to put him down before the guy
54:46
comes in. Yeah, it's it's very much.
54:48
That's his tone. Yeah.
54:50
So yeah, he's like, this is Professor Brown.
54:54
He is going to give you guys a tour of the campus because I'm
54:57
too busy and this guy knows, so why?
54:59
So whatever. And the student was in his class
55:02
and he also introduces him as the head of the anatomy
55:06
department, which I don't think that's a department.
55:08
I feel like that's a class within the department.
55:10
Yeah, probably the again trying to guess like, yeah, sure,
55:14
there's like a department head for that everything.
55:16
Yeah, yeah. It's like this college is an MLM
55:20
scheme, so like everybody gets to be a director of some sort.
55:23
So he's. A.
55:23
You get to be a director. Yeah, exactly.
55:25
It's. Like that Jordan pill or the Kim
55:28
pills again. You get a right scene, you get
55:31
to write a scene. It's just the same thing again.
55:34
That's your idea, OK. It's in the movie, yeah.
55:38
So the detectives decide they're going to skip the tour for now.
55:43
Yeah, and let's see, where are we at?
55:47
Oh, they want to keep the murder quiet and they're just going to
55:50
refer to it as an unfortunate accident.
55:52
Yeah. They asked Professor Brown about
55:55
the girl and he says, unfortunately, I don't really
55:57
remember her much. He.
55:59
Gets a good answer. He's like I try to not be Privy
56:03
to my students privacy or like their private lives.
56:07
Yeah. And he is like, like this
56:09
Sergeant who looks like a discount Leslie Nielsen, by the
56:13
way. Yeah.
56:14
He does. He Which is really weird because
56:16
then it's the Lieutenant that's got like the Leslie Nielsen fit
56:18
because I could see Leslie Nielsen having the whole stick
56:21
with a cigar and wanting to get it lit.
56:23
To be to be fair, that guy at the same time, when he's talking
56:26
to Professor Brown is the same guy.
56:28
It's like we're just. Buying clothes without labels
56:31
and trying them on for size, that's what I was getting ready
56:33
to doesn't get. To and that's the that's the
56:35
Leslie Nielsen ass wine right there.
56:37
Yeah, Nail. Some of you like, Oh yeah, this
56:39
is a comedy, right? So I'm going to say this slide.
56:43
So the Dean that cuts to him outside, he catches Willard out
56:47
there being. Or, as he pronounces it,
56:49
Willard. Willard, he's being a little bit
56:51
too gleeful out there with this chainsaw doing work.
56:54
And he's like, don't worry, Dean, I'm not charging about an
56:56
hour. I'm an honest man.
56:58
You've signed my contract. We've agreed to this.
57:00
I'm just going to do the work, make sure it's done right, and
57:02
then I'll get out and the Dean's like leave now.
57:06
And this guy is so mad at him, he's like giving a little Popeye
57:10
stink eye. And then we cut to the library,
57:13
and this cutie wants to fuck in the pool with a curly hair
57:18
candle. Yeah.
57:20
And she goes off like she passes a note again.
57:25
We're back in, like, middle school, high school with this.
57:28
And she says, meet at the pool, and then she goes to the pool,
57:32
and she strips to sultry sacks. Yeah.
57:36
And this was upsetting to me for several reasons.
57:39
Because she's been wearing a swimsuit underneath her clothing
57:41
for no discernible reason. It's not comfortable.
57:46
You just generally don't do that unless it's for a purpose.
57:50
And on top of that, when she strips, she takes off her bikini
57:54
top as well. She was wearing a baggy sweater.
57:56
So I feel like if you were gonna strip off the bikini top anyway,
58:00
you would just not wear the top underneath.
58:03
Yeah, I'm not gonna try and bring logic to any of this shit
58:06
here because it's the following thing that happened.
58:10
So, like, Kendall took that note and he tossed it by his back to
58:13
like, throw it in a basket, but it misses.
58:15
And then you see the gloved killer.
58:17
Grab it and find out. Oh, fucking pool.
58:20
Yeah, I'll be there, Yes. So while she's doing all of
58:23
that, he's working in the shadows of the pool.
58:26
Yeah, and Kendall is being called to the Dean's office.
58:31
So in the pool, Susie is swimming around just, you know,
58:37
warming herself up. And then she gets a net over the
58:39
head, which. Is.
58:40
That's the thing. Paralyzing.
58:42
Yeah, that that right there. She gets the net.
58:45
It's there's just another movie that we watched where like a net
58:47
falls on somebody. Is it the mutilator?
58:50
It's mutilated where she's in the pool and it's like a whole
58:52
thing with a net trying to pull her.
58:54
Or it might also be Prowler. Honestly the 80s is just full of
58:58
naked ladies in pools getting netted.
59:01
I know it's not the Prowler. The Prowler, he like boot kicks
59:04
her face and she falls. OK, Yeah.
59:06
I'm pretty sure it's in mutilator cuz they go.
59:09
She goes to that one like indoor pool on the beach and is
59:12
swimming. I'm pretty sure she gets netted.
59:14
I don't know, it seems like a trope at this time.
59:17
You get a net on you and like, there's just no fighting your
59:20
way out. Of Pokémon logic I.
59:22
Mean essentially. Yeah, like I'm trapped.
59:24
You fucking got me. He pulls her out of the pool.
59:27
She fights not a bit and then she's just saying they go.
59:32
Except she's like arching her back so that way her boobs look
59:36
nice and grown. She's like, yeah.
59:38
And then he comes at her with a change and she's like.
59:43
Yeah. And then she just gets
59:44
dismembered and it's just, yeah. And then Willard finds all of
59:50
these pieces, the cops come in and he's in fight or flight mode
59:55
and he fights. Well before that even he is in
59:58
there. He walks in, he finds the
1:00:00
chainsaw all bloodied up way in there and then he looks to the
1:00:03
side and he sees Kendall in the shadows creeping along and
1:00:06
Kendall runs through the door real quick.
1:00:08
So he goes to go chase after Kendall.
1:00:10
And then when he opens the door to get Kindle, the cops are
1:00:12
there. And then they all attack him,
1:00:14
including Kindle. Yeah, Kindles not even roped in
1:00:16
with the cops at this point. He's just like, yeah, let's all
1:00:18
fucking fight this guy. So and they like he has no
1:00:21
reason to even think that, but like there's also the body there
1:00:24
too, and it's been chopped up into several pieces.
1:00:26
So the detectives call in Professor Brown and they say,
1:00:30
hey, does it look like this body that's been chainsawed apart?
1:00:34
Would you say that it could have been done by this chainsaw do?
1:00:37
You see this body has been chainsawed apart.
1:00:39
Do you think that it could have been chainsawed?
1:00:41
And this I legitimately believe was improv because Professor
1:00:47
Brown is like, I'm not a pathologist, but duh.
1:00:53
Like, oh. Yeah, he just says.
1:00:55
He's as polite as you could. Absolutely.
1:00:59
Because if it was me. I'm no, I there's a little bit
1:01:01
of passive aggressiveness here because he's like, it seems very
1:01:05
elementary to me that this is exactly what caused this.
1:01:08
Yeah, I think being passive aggressive isn't as polite as
1:01:11
you can be in this situation. Maybe.
1:01:13
Yeah, because I like, I would look at that, man.
1:01:15
I'd be like, my tax dollars are paying for this.
1:01:19
But he's employed by them, so he can't like, you know, go a
1:01:23
little bit too a hard off on him.
1:01:24
He's like, oh, maybe it could have been a chainsaw.
1:01:28
He grabs a chainsaw too. And then the detective
1:01:31
Lieutenant gets mad like ah fuck, he just contaminated
1:01:35
evidence there buddy. This movie does, I think, at
1:01:38
least do a good job of giving you multiple red herrings.
1:01:41
Yes, it does. It does do that because you
1:01:43
don't really know who to suspect until the very end.
1:01:46
Cuz right there it could have been him, like, oh whoops, there
1:01:48
we go. And then you get Kendall and
1:01:50
Kendall's like, oh, whoops, I just happened to be here.
1:01:52
Yeah, I think the only greater subversion would be if it turned
1:01:56
out to be Willard, because he's at every single crime scene and
1:02:00
he just uses a chainsaw for his job, to the point that it's so
1:02:04
obvious that he's a red herring, that if he was the actual
1:02:07
killer, I would have been. Yeah.
1:02:08
He's also just he's got such a menacing face and presence to
1:02:13
him. Well, Bluto is the bad guy.
1:02:15
He is, yeah. But this guy, he's just like the
1:02:18
the way he looks, he looks like he would probably kill a man
1:02:21
with a chainsaw. So the detectives decide that
1:02:24
they need some undercover agents.
1:02:27
So that way they have somebody on campus because clearly
1:02:29
whoever's doing these killings is somebody that's on campus.
1:02:31
So they're going to need two female agents to hopefully not
1:02:35
get murdered. But, you know, attract the
1:02:37
murderer. They questioned Kendall.
1:02:41
He had a note delivered to him. And but there was a note
1:02:45
delivered to the Dean's office, which is why he got called there
1:02:48
to get the note immediately because as the Dean says, my
1:02:51
office is not the post office. So I immediately delivered his
1:02:57
mail to him. It's it's confusing logic.
1:03:00
And it makes sense later, when he's the killer.
1:03:03
And during this, his friend that we don't have the name of, he
1:03:07
met him before and had that rejection.
1:03:09
Yeah, which was funny. But then here he's like, hey, by
1:03:12
the way, where were you? Because I wasn't looking for
1:03:14
you, because maybe he had made plans to me.
1:03:16
And Kendall's like, look, man, don't tell them that I was
1:03:18
missing. But like, I actually went to go
1:03:20
fuck another girl. And then I went to the pool a
1:03:23
little bit too late. And then I was going to fuck
1:03:25
her. But then she was already cut up
1:03:27
into pieces. And yeah, that's the whole thing
1:03:30
there. We have a brief cut to a dance
1:03:32
class and a fake bathroom scare, and then we cut back to Jennings
1:03:37
doing profiles for the cops. He is a psychiatrist or a
1:03:41
psychologist. One or the other.
1:03:44
Probably a psychologist. Yeah, but there's something that
1:03:46
they have there to do, a psychological profile.
1:03:49
And the Lieutenant keeps calling him Doc and the guys like, how
1:03:52
many times have I told you not to call me Doc?
1:03:54
And I know plenty of psychologists that want to be
1:03:59
referred to. I think that they, like doctors,
1:04:01
are offended if you don't call them doctors.
1:04:03
No, I know plenty that also aren't, but a lot of them do
1:04:06
want that formality because they did work hard for their degree.
1:04:09
But he says it in a way like I'm not.
1:04:11
I'm a fucking fraud. I'm a quack.
1:04:16
But yeah, he does a psychological profile, so he's
1:04:18
going to talk to Kendall and Kendall's like, oh, you think
1:04:21
it's somebody on campus? And the lieutenant's like,
1:04:23
you're pretty shark kid. Have you considered becoming a
1:04:25
cop? We are incredibly short staffed
1:04:27
if you haven't noticed. I just like how they just this
1:04:31
kid just gets granted just become a full blown cop.
1:04:35
He's got fucking immunity. He's like immediately deputized.
1:04:38
Yeah, he is here, like for sure. And like, it's kind of happens
1:04:42
here because we see the Lieutenant go over to Mary Riggs
1:04:47
and she's doing desk work, but she wants to get out in the
1:04:50
field. And then he's like, hey, I got
1:04:52
an opportunity for you where you get this whole shit going over
1:04:55
there on the campus. And we're going to need you to
1:04:57
maybe pretend to be the tennis coach because you're a
1:05:00
professional tennis player. You know this is your wheelhouse
1:05:03
right here. Until six months ago, when she
1:05:04
became a professional cop. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:05:07
It's they, they've clearly make it easy there.
1:05:10
You don't even have like she probably had the same thing
1:05:13
where there was like a tennis related that thing and they're
1:05:15
like, hey, we just need you wouldn't be a cop.
1:05:18
Yeah, you're just beating. And when the excitement is all
1:05:22
through, you end up being designated to dusk work.
1:05:25
Yeah, exactly. That's what's gonna happen to
1:05:26
Kendall for sure. Doesn't this movie even.
1:05:29
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
1:05:32
So then the Lieutenant goes over to Ken and goes, listen kid, I
1:05:36
know we were questioning you for the murderer about 20 minutes
1:05:39
ago, but now I need you to be on cop protection detail because
1:05:44
she is going to be undercover. It's strictly need to know
1:05:47
basis. And by need to know, we mean
1:05:49
every fucking character that sees Mary Rig in this movie is
1:05:51
going to know that she is undercover.
1:05:55
It seems that way it does, yeah. And.
1:05:58
And ultimately, once we find out who the killer is, it doesn't
1:06:01
even fucking matter that she was undercover.
1:06:04
No, but I mean, again, if you're trying to do the whole yeah, who
1:06:08
is it? Yeah.
1:06:11
All right. Yeah.
1:06:12
And then also the reporter, Sylvia Acosta, comes in.
1:06:15
She wants to talk to the Lieutenant and he's like, get
1:06:17
out of here. Yeah, she's a little, little
1:06:20
nosy. And then he's like, go talk to
1:06:23
Mary. So, yeah, there's a tennis is
1:06:30
happening on campus. I can't tell if this is practice
1:06:34
or if this is a match and the school is just really
1:06:37
underfunded. But people came to watch it
1:06:39
because they heard Mary Rigg, former professional tennis star.
1:06:43
That's there. It seemed like it was an actual
1:06:45
game that was going on because there was a crowd.
1:06:47
There's score. There's APA.
1:06:49
But she's the supposedly the new coach and she's playing against
1:06:53
a student. Yeah, I don't know.
1:06:55
Exhibition, I don't know. Again, they're like what is
1:06:58
tennis? Yeah, they don't know what
1:06:59
tennis is. They're like this net, net like
1:07:04
ball like what? Like hit it.
1:07:06
This. Movie has other scenes with net
1:07:08
and balls. This is clearly symbolic.
1:07:10
Yeah, that's true. This is the real message that
1:07:13
they're trying to get across here.
1:07:14
So yeah, she, like, beats the shit out of her in tennis
1:07:17
poorly, by the way. Again, remember, they had to
1:07:19
have like, have people come on this set to teach them how to
1:07:22
hit the ball. Yeah, and honestly, though,
1:07:24
because we used to live in an apartment complex that had a
1:07:27
tennis court and we tried to play it one time and it's hard.
1:07:30
Holy shit, it's. Harder than it looks.
1:07:32
It is very hard and it looks hard.
1:07:34
It does. Well, it kind of looks easy,
1:07:36
honestly. No it doesn't.
1:07:37
I always thought it would be easy to play but then whenever
1:07:40
we tried it's like fuck this, this sucks.
1:07:42
Yeah, it's. In a in a fun way.
1:07:44
And I think maybe we're just not good at hitting things because
1:07:47
we had the same experience playing water volleyball a few
1:07:50
weeks ago. I was good at the party.
1:07:52
It took us a little bit to ease into it though.
1:07:55
I feel like I did pretty good. I'm good at hitting things, man.
1:07:58
I played baseball. Yeah, you were the first one to
1:07:59
hit it over the fence and make things inconvenient for
1:08:01
everybody. OK, OK.
1:08:06
Well, inconvenient for the person that got volunteered for
1:08:08
ball duty, rather. Maybe that's what I wanted to
1:08:10
do. OK, anyway.
1:08:14
So at the aerobics class, like the yeah, the guy was watching
1:08:17
her. The killer was we cut back to
1:08:21
the the dance studio, the one girl was there, the one that got
1:08:25
stalks just dancing alone and. I feel like maybe this is like a
1:08:28
dance class elective or something and she's practicing
1:08:31
because they do actually test you.
1:08:33
I will say this is one of those things that they unintentionally
1:08:36
got right because I took a couple of dance electives in
1:08:39
college and one of them was like a more general like intro class
1:08:43
and it was in our bigger studio. But then the other was like
1:08:46
theater dance. And that was in a tiny little
1:08:49
basement, cramped room and we only had a little boom box to go
1:08:52
off of. This pits so hard and you're
1:08:55
like crammed behind people to have enough room to do your
1:08:59
moves. It's it was real.
1:09:01
So she's practicing, I'm assuming for like a midterm or
1:09:05
final or something cuz this is not something that they're gonna
1:09:07
put on as a performance for the student body.
1:09:09
Probably not. Yeah, they're not selling
1:09:11
tickets to this shit. This.
1:09:12
Would be a sad affair if that were the case.
1:09:14
So she wraps up, but she gets the sense that she's being
1:09:19
watched. So she hurries up and puts her
1:09:21
pants on. And then as she's walking out,
1:09:23
she's followed by the masked figure or the dark, shallow man.
1:09:28
Yeah, Shadow man. Yeah, Shadow man.
1:09:31
And she's like. Shallow man.
1:09:33
Shallow man. Shallow man.
1:09:35
OK, we got that. She she makes it to the elevator
1:09:38
and then she's like, oh, hey, yeah.
1:09:41
These elevators, curious as fuck, man.
1:09:45
They're, it's like one of those rich people kitchens where like
1:09:49
you don't know where the fridge is 'cause it blends in with the
1:09:52
cabinets. That's this elevator.
1:09:54
It just blends into the wall. I don't know where it is until
1:09:57
it opens up and I'm like, Oh my God, there's an elevator there.
1:09:59
It's a nice, it's a nice elevator, so they get on there.
1:10:03
I like how the killer is just hiding this massive chainsaw
1:10:07
behind his back and this woman is not noticing this at all.
1:10:11
And it's not like he's holding it upright against his back
1:10:14
where like feasibly if he's at just the right angle she won't
1:10:17
see it. He's holding it like
1:10:19
perpendicular to his body, like a ducktail or something.
1:10:22
It kind of makes sense. So like, what would your thought
1:10:25
process be if you get on the elevator in the Dance Storm
1:10:28
dance hall and you see the Dean in a trench coat pull out this
1:10:34
chainsaw? Would your thought be, oh, the
1:10:37
Dean's going to kill me? My thought would be who are you?
1:10:41
Because I don't think I actually knew what the Deans looked like.
1:10:45
I knew the Dean of the psychology department because,
1:10:49
but not like the Dean of the entire college.
1:10:52
Yeah, I don't think I would. Either I know his name was Doug
1:10:54
Whitman because the Student Alumni Association made sure
1:10:59
it's to teach me how to Dougie because it was very topical at
1:11:01
the time. Yeah, that's how long ago we
1:11:03
went to college, folks. I remember somebody saw me in
1:11:06
the hall one day, like, hey, do you know how to Dougie?
1:11:08
I'm like, what? I didn't even, I didn't even
1:11:10
know what that was at the time. And then like, she like
1:11:12
demonstrated it and I was like, OK, like.
1:11:15
But the song, like the song is accurate.
1:11:16
Like yeah, you do need to teach me because I don't know what the
1:11:19
fuck I'm doing. Please teach me how to Dougie so
1:11:21
that way I know. She was just listening to the
1:11:23
song. Yeah.
1:11:23
Yeah. So.
1:11:24
No, the song doesn't actually tell you.
1:11:26
She just says teaching how to Dougie, teaching, teaching how
1:11:28
to Dougie. Yeah, she was teaching me.
1:11:31
OK, that's. What I'm saying she was
1:11:32
listening to the song. Yeah, OK.
1:11:35
I get what you're saying. Yeah, my bad, I misunderstood.
1:11:37
That's OK. So anyways, all of this to be
1:11:42
said to get to she chains off Yeah, he.
1:11:45
Chains off. She dies.
1:11:47
No, she doesn't. No, she survives.
1:11:50
That blew my mind. Like they she gets chased out in
1:11:53
half and then no. No, she has to get chased.
1:11:55
She gets her arms. Chopped off, that's right.
1:11:57
Yeah, the arm chopped off. Yeah, so.
1:11:59
The cops are some ambiguous distance away and they hear the
1:12:03
chainsaw and they come running. Kendall is.
1:12:04
Also Kendall too, yeah. Distance away he comes running
1:12:07
and the door is locked to this building and the the cops go do
1:12:12
you know who has a key? And Kendall's like what?
1:12:15
I'm just going to go in through the window.
1:12:17
So he gets in through the window and lets them in.
1:12:19
By the time they get to the elevator, her arms are fully
1:12:21
chopped off. And then we cut to the next
1:12:23
scene and she's still alive. Why?
1:12:27
Like just that blew my mind. It didn't even need to be done
1:12:30
because we don't see her again. But they're like, yeah, she
1:12:32
survived, she's OK. We also have this.
1:12:36
This is very much the energy of sleep away camp where you know
1:12:41
what's his face gets boiled alive.
1:12:42
Except we were cheering for him to get boiled alive.
1:12:45
Yeah, of course. Yeah.
1:12:46
But you know, the guy comes over, he goes, she's in severe
1:12:50
pain and I have given her all of the drugs I can.
1:12:53
She's not going to be talking to you all anytime soon.
1:12:56
Yeah. So we're not going to get an
1:12:59
answer who this is. Yeah, she's she's not.
1:13:01
Dead. Yeah, she's not talking cuz
1:13:03
she's like, it was so easy right there.
1:13:05
She's dead. You can't talk about.
1:13:07
No, she's alive. She's just not going to talk
1:13:09
about it. I just love how they did that.
1:13:13
So all right, now we cut over to Kendall doing some fuck with a
1:13:17
girl and it's the most passionate fuck ever.
1:13:21
Apparently he's. Too good at sex it's he's like
1:13:24
his his tuition he's. So good at it that he gets
1:13:26
annoyed. He's like, stop, you're doing a
1:13:28
fucking performance, which she is kind of like over selling it.
1:13:32
Maybe, I don't know. But like she's like moaning
1:13:34
really loud and waking everybody up.
1:13:36
And he doesn't want that. And then she like hops out of
1:13:39
bed and she's like Kendall, Kendall, come back.
1:13:41
You can gag me if you want to. Like it's just like this woman
1:13:45
is just begging for it. Yeah.
1:13:48
And that's why it was. This is one of those scenes
1:13:50
that's very like men writing women.
1:13:52
Yeah. Yeah, this is this is fantasy.
1:13:55
Yeah, I mean, that's what, you know, that's what Kendall would
1:13:59
have wanted. This is all in his head here.
1:14:01
He walks outside, though, and he sees Mary Riggs out there
1:14:04
wandering around, just walking through campus all by herself in
1:14:08
the dark. So he gets dressed and decides
1:14:11
he's gonna go out there together.
1:14:13
While we're seeing her out there walking around, though, we see
1:14:15
the killers out there in the bushes watching and stalking.
1:14:19
And then we see her get accosted by a man who throws some Kung Fu
1:14:22
moves. She's knocked to her back, she
1:14:24
kicks him in the balls. And then Kendall comes up and he
1:14:26
goes, This is my Kung Fu professor.
1:14:28
Rolls up in this dirt bike, no big deal.
1:14:31
And the guy's like, Yep, just tripped and fell.
1:14:33
Yeah, maybe it was some bad chop suey.
1:14:35
Gotta go. Yeah, and then Kendall gives
1:14:38
Mary a ride home on his dirt bike.
1:14:39
Meanwhile, Sylvia, the reporter is lurking around the corner.
1:14:43
Yeah, she's been a little menace this entire time.
1:14:45
She's just been following, and she knows that Riggs is a cop,
1:14:49
and she's like, OK, well, she's an undercover cop here on
1:14:51
campus, so there really is something going down here.
1:14:54
She's trying to get the scoop of what's happening because the
1:14:57
Dean and the cops haven't been upfront about all the shit
1:14:59
that's going down. So she goes into the athletic
1:15:01
building and I will say that this kind of makes sense from a
1:15:05
throwaway line at the beginning of the movie, which you tend to
1:15:07
forget about because the line is immediately followed about
1:15:11
smoking pot and fucking on a waterbed at the same time.
1:15:14
But it was brought up because one of the guys said the
1:15:18
athletic center has a waterbed now.
1:15:20
Why? Because of this.
1:15:24
Because it would be really cool to chainsaw somebody on a
1:15:28
waterbed. Except he doesn't even do that.
1:15:31
He takes a knife and stabs her. Yeah, it's.
1:15:34
This is 1 chain non chainsaw kill in the movie.
1:15:36
Yeah, it so it's just, I don't know.
1:15:38
Anyway, she goes into that room, she sees the waterbed, and she
1:15:41
ends up getting killed. Yeah, and I love.
1:15:44
And this is. The shot?
1:15:45
Yeah, with a knife. On the bed and she's being
1:15:48
stabbed and it is a flimsy plastic knife and they don't
1:15:52
even try and edit that shit away.
1:15:54
You see the blade fully bend next to her face.
1:15:57
I get it. Because like once you get the
1:15:58
shot and it looked cool and you've noticed that after the
1:16:01
fact, like I'm not fucking changing that.
1:16:03
That still looks dope. Yeah, I don't care.
1:16:05
Like, you know, the knife bends around whatever, but yeah, she's
1:16:09
dead. Yeah, Meanwhile, Kendall has
1:16:11
dropped off Mary. And then he says, don't you want
1:16:14
to make coffee again? Kendall thinks he lives in a
1:16:17
porno. This apparently was supposed to
1:16:21
be like he actually goes in there and they actually do have
1:16:24
sex but the Linda day George did not want to do that.
1:16:29
So good. Call Linda.
1:16:30
Yeah, so they were like, OK, let's just have him get rejected
1:16:33
for once. Yeah, and then have his friend
1:16:35
right behind him. Go yeah, he just like walks away
1:16:39
and that's the last we see of him yeah he like, he just fucks
1:16:42
off he's. Got kind of energy about what's
1:16:46
his face in Friday Part 3. He's the joker guy, Shelley.
1:16:53
Yeah. Yeah, Yeah.
1:16:54
Except, you know, like, I feel like he has a better attitude
1:16:58
than Shelley did. Yeah.
1:16:59
About getting rejected. He's like, who gives a shit?
1:17:01
Yeah. Shelley's like, what was
1:17:03
everybody like? Nice guy.
1:17:05
Yeah. So anyways, this is where we.
1:17:10
OK. We throughout this movie, by the
1:17:12
way, we've been getting shots of the killer assembling body parts
1:17:15
and pieces of the puzzle, and we're gathering that he's taken
1:17:19
pieces of each of these victims and making a human puzzle of
1:17:23
like the puzzle he had as a kid. So we get some of that.
1:17:26
He's got this massive walk in freezer in his house too.
1:17:29
I don't understand how he has that.
1:17:30
That should be given clues away to who this really is, because
1:17:32
they have the means to have that, so whatever.
1:17:36
I mean, it could still potentially be Willard because
1:17:39
he doesn't charge by the hour. You know it's true.
1:17:41
Doesn't need to. That's.
1:17:43
True could be Willard, although the frame of this guy clearly
1:17:46
is. Not yeah, no, it doesn't work at
1:17:48
all. Willard's too massive to be yeah
1:17:50
and the silhouetted dude be him. Unless he does follow comic book
1:17:54
logic. And when he puts on his trench
1:17:55
coat and hat, he's like, gets smaller.
1:17:58
Yeah, you. Know it could be all right.
1:18:00
So that was probably one of his favorite things in this movie.
1:18:02
And this is when we get the music blasting over the PA for
1:18:05
like, I'd say 10 minutes straight.
1:18:08
Yeah, and I can only imagine the psychological torture for the.
1:18:12
The other actors and the I don't think there's.
1:18:15
Yeah, no the. Actors, probably.
1:18:16
Didn't have to cuz that would be a continuity nightmare.
1:18:19
But yeah, so they have like what I assume is the school's fight
1:18:23
song or something playing really loudly over the loudspeaker as
1:18:26
this girl who's just practicing some tennis, tennis.
1:18:30
And she goes into the locker room, she's trying to shower and
1:18:33
leave. And when she is in there, she
1:18:35
gets a feeling somebody's there. And uh oh, that's because
1:18:37
somebody is. So she goes running through the
1:18:39
locker room. Of course she's half naked and.
1:18:42
From full nick to half naked. Yeah, and she makes it to the
1:18:46
bathroom. And she also has just like this
1:18:48
little wimpy run, which doesn't make sense because we've already
1:18:51
established she's a student fucking athlete.
1:18:54
That's true, yeah. But tennis, Tennis, Tennis.
1:19:00
So she is cornered in the bathroom, the killer chainsaws
1:19:04
through the door, and this actually gets that actor to
1:19:07
actually pee her pants here. In reality, everybody, when you
1:19:10
see this, this is the person actually pissing themselves.
1:19:13
And the one actually liked it so much that he kept it in the
1:19:18
movie. And I will say I like this
1:19:21
chainsaw through the door scene because a lot of times, and I've
1:19:24
talked about this plenty on the show, when a door is burst
1:19:27
through in a movie just so obviously cardboard and it is
1:19:31
infuriating. We see wood grain in this.
1:19:35
It's like they went out and they bought a door.
1:19:38
They made it so real that this woman actually thought, no, this
1:19:42
is all a rude, this is like to kill me.
1:19:45
Actual real chainsaw. You're making a snuff movie.
1:19:48
Yes. Yeah, like I'm actually gonna
1:19:50
die here. Yeah, she's like, this is
1:19:52
goodbye, Ashley. I'm not.
1:19:55
I wasn't ready for this. Yeah, and.
1:19:57
This scene I knew the contract was too good to be true.
1:20:01
And the scene right here is where we get the pig carcass,
1:20:05
like actually getting chainsaw here because this is a really
1:20:07
good scene. She gets chainsaw in half
1:20:09
because the killer. I think.
1:20:11
What's the killer needing? Like the lower half of the body,
1:20:15
I think the legs. It's confusing because clearly
1:20:18
when Mary is there later, he's looking at her feet.
1:20:22
So I don't know. We see her top half, we don't
1:20:24
see her bottom half, I don't think.
1:20:26
Yeah, like her bottom half is what's taken.
1:20:28
It's just confusing what exact part he was going for.
1:20:31
Yeah, but either way, she's chopped in half and she's dead.
1:20:34
And then Kendall and Mary are doing a full slow ass
1:20:38
motherfucking Jeff just like. And like, the music is so like.
1:20:45
And they're not too bothered about it until the other end.
1:20:47
They're like, well, this is really weird.
1:20:48
Why is it so loud? Hey, Willard, you can turn this
1:20:51
off, right? You're just testing these.
1:20:52
He goes I, I am the landscaper bitch like.
1:20:56
So the one thing that kills me the most about the scene is
1:20:59
like, the song is supposed to be diegetic.
1:21:02
It's supposed to be actually in. Like they're hearing it in the
1:21:05
movie and we're hearing it. Which would mean they should be
1:21:07
shouting at each other over top of.
1:21:09
It and it just never came across like, until they mentioned it in
1:21:13
the movie. Yeah, I thought that this like
1:21:15
they just thought, let's just play this music for a really
1:21:18
long time in this movie here. It's just like it's excessive.
1:21:23
So yeah, they're like, all right, we gotta go turn that
1:21:25
shit off. Rig stays with Bullard and
1:21:30
Willard turns off the song. And then by the time that's
1:21:34
finished, they get into the locker room and they find the
1:21:38
dead body, and Mary Riggs says that bastard was in there
1:21:42
killing her while we're fumbling around with the music.
1:21:45
Bastard. Bastard mustard.
1:21:49
She says it three times and she like, it's amazing delivery.
1:21:54
I love the dedication to doing that.
1:21:56
It actually made the actor for Kendall uncomfortable visibly.
1:22:00
You just watch him. Like it's so hard to not watch
1:22:03
Riggs in this moment, but watch Kendall because he's just this
1:22:06
like trembling in fear the entire time.
1:22:07
Like what the fuck is happening? Yeah, no, she put her whole soul
1:22:11
into. That he's like being the cop is
1:22:12
really fun. Until now, yeah.
1:22:14
I just. I don't want to do this anymore.
1:22:16
It's there's a bit in American Dad where there's like the child
1:22:20
news anchor, like they have like a student correspondent or
1:22:23
something and it's this little kid, he goes, there's a grizzly
1:22:27
murder and I stepped on I. Yeah, okay, so Riggs walks along
1:22:39
with oh, wait, wait a minute, the killer.
1:22:41
Now we see it cuts over to the killer, and he's found the mom's
1:22:46
shoes from the opening. Yeah, he's like, all right, I
1:22:48
gotta find some nice feet. Yeah, he's trying to put them on
1:22:51
the legs, and I guess he didn't like it.
1:22:53
Yeah. So Mary is walking and she sees
1:22:57
Professor Brown and she asked to walk with him because she
1:23:01
doesn't want to be alone but also she's asking him a bunch of
1:23:03
questions and he is just not fucking feeling it dude.
1:23:06
Yeah, you kind of forget that she's supposed to be blending in
1:23:08
here because I, I know I did. Yeah, because everybody knows
1:23:12
she's a cop. He doesn't though.
1:23:14
He's like, I just like, he's like, he tells her.
1:23:17
If I were you, I wouldn't be asking too many questions about
1:23:20
my colleagues. He's like, you know, he's like,
1:23:23
don't worry about, like, your people.
1:23:25
Like the people. Yeah.
1:23:27
Just like let them be private people anyways.
1:23:31
Yeah, so Kendall runs up and he tells Mary that he's going to be
1:23:35
going to help with records, and she asked where she can find the
1:23:39
Dean. And he's like, oh, well, he goes
1:23:43
to Arlington every Sunday, but he's usually back around 7:00,
1:23:47
and then you can find him in his quarters.
1:23:49
Why do you know all of this, Kendall?
1:23:51
He's just the little campus know it all.
1:23:53
He just knows everything. So anyways.
1:23:57
That night at 7:00. Riggs stops by the Dean's place,
1:24:01
and you know, he invites her in. He's like, hey, good to see you.
1:24:06
Yeah, come on in, Let's talk for a little bit.
1:24:07
Would you like some tea? Oh no, I'm very British.
1:24:11
Coffee. Coffee for you.
1:24:13
Yeah, and we both quoted as like, how do you like it?
1:24:15
Do you like tea? Do you like sugar cream or would
1:24:19
you like me to? Pee in.
1:24:21
We both look at each other and finish like that for our society
1:24:24
people out there. So while all this is happening,
1:24:29
Kendall was over there with Randy and they are going through
1:24:34
the files. They're doing just work trying
1:24:36
to figure out if there's any mention of certain people.
1:24:39
If there is, you know, let's make a note of it and let's do
1:24:41
some research on it. Yeah.
1:24:43
So Mary really enjoys the coffee.
1:24:45
She drinks it really fast. And she said, oh, this is good
1:24:48
cream. And he goes, well, it is New
1:24:49
England. Yeah.
1:24:51
He's over there spiking the coffee so you see him like do
1:24:53
like the little drips. And since why does New England,
1:24:55
known for its coffee Creamer I. Don't know again, like they're
1:24:58
like, what is America? What is Boston Coffee?
1:25:02
Coffee. Dunkin' Donuts.
1:25:04
They're just the big. Boston Coffee Harbor, right?
1:25:06
Yeah, they yeah, they like coffee over there.
1:25:10
And she like when Jesse says she drinks it too fast, she like
1:25:12
takes a single sip and it's all gone.
1:25:14
Like she. Gulps it down like she is a
1:25:17
child. She is an adult at a child's tea
1:25:20
party with the imaginary. Very good.
1:25:23
Don't chug. Don't chug.
1:25:24
Yeah, yeah, don't. Sit in SO BC either.
1:25:27
Yeah, and he's like, I'll go get you another coffee.
1:25:30
Which it is a fucking process for him.
1:25:33
It is, yeah. He's got to do the kettle.
1:25:35
He's got to get his steam in and then drug it secretly.
1:25:39
Minus the drugs, this is kind of the coffee experience in our
1:25:42
house because we do not have like a typical coffee pot.
1:25:45
We've got hoity, twity, nonsense, and it is a labor of
1:25:47
love. Every single time a coffee a cup
1:25:50
of coffee is made a cup of coffee, it does it's.
1:25:52
A great cup of coffee. So Riggs or not Riggs?
1:25:57
So Kendall and Randy. They got some old school
1:26:00
Wendy's. Yeah, the yellow Wendy's.
1:26:02
You all. If you know, you know the.
1:26:04
Yellow with the red logo. That shit was good.
1:26:07
That reminds me of a Frosty every single time I see it.
1:26:10
It makes me think of my pre vegetarian days when I was all
1:26:13
about their chili dude. Just so good.
1:26:16
So Kendall found a name that keeps coming up.
1:26:19
It's John Reston. Yeah.
1:26:21
So they call it in. And I like how Randy's.
1:26:24
Like, yeah, it was actually a changed name.
1:26:26
Yeah. So the Sergeant decides that
1:26:28
he's going to call Arlington Records and.
1:26:31
He fucking roots the guy on the other line.
1:26:34
He's like, this is going to take a while.
1:26:35
I can tell this guy's going to croak on the other end.
1:26:37
Right now, he doesn't. Even cover the.
1:26:38
Receiver, I know he's saying it into the phone.
1:26:40
He's like, Oh yeah, you're here. Oh, you got the answer.
1:26:42
I feel like maybe he was saying that to get like him to do.
1:26:45
He's like, I'll fucking show him.
1:26:46
I'm not old. I can do it.
1:26:48
I'm not dying. I I think he was like trying to
1:26:51
get Kendall to think he was the cool cop because he was like,
1:26:54
damn it, Bracken is winning this kid over.
1:26:57
I want to be the cool. Cop that's probably was like,
1:26:59
hey kid, you want to get some Wendy's?
1:27:02
Want to get some Wendy's and talk about this old fucker in
1:27:04
the records in Arlington, right? Say hey kid, let me show you
1:27:07
something cool. You take your French fry and you
1:27:09
dip it in the frosty. And Kendall would be like wow,
1:27:12
it's like when I dip my penis in a vagina and I love that shit.
1:27:17
I bet this frosty won't be making sounds.
1:27:19
Been getting me kicked out of the dorm.
1:27:21
Equally as powerful, so it turns out.
1:27:25
I like how casual he is about. He gets the information like
1:27:28
okay, yeah hey turns out it's the Dean.
1:27:31
The Dean. He killed his mom back in Boston
1:27:34
and he's like. You tell us the people that are
1:27:36
only he's like, fax this to our station.
1:27:38
We're gonna go to the Dean's right away.
1:27:40
He tells Kendall he needs to stay.
1:27:41
And Kendall's like, no, Mary Riggs is there.
1:27:43
And they're like, OK, well, no, you still need to stay and call
1:27:46
the Lieutenant. No, we have a radio in the car.
1:27:48
Come with me. No, I like Kim's like, come on.
1:27:50
And he's like, come on. All right, come on over here.
1:27:54
I am gonna be the cool detective after.
1:27:56
All, and I love this because when they get there, because the
1:28:00
Lieutenant has gotten the facts simultaneously, it seems like.
1:28:03
So he meets them at the Dean's apartment as they're going and
1:28:06
they're like, Kendall, you stop here and he goes, but I want to
1:28:08
go in and they're like, can't argue with that, OK, Just make
1:28:12
sure that you duck down. If we tell you to duck and
1:28:14
Kendall's like, I'm not gonna do that.
1:28:15
And they're like, that's fair. Trust your instinct.
1:28:18
And to his credit, he doesn't because when they go over to the
1:28:20
door and they're about to bust in, the Lieutenant grabs him and
1:28:23
just, like, shoves him up against the wall, like, hard.
1:28:26
Like, I feel like the actor would probably didn't expect
1:28:29
that to come. And it probably hurt because it
1:28:31
did not look like it would be comfortable.
1:28:34
And he, like, shoots the door into like, we go full.
1:28:37
Like, all right, let's ramp this shit up.
1:28:38
We're ending this movie in like, the most spectacular fashion.
1:28:42
Yeah, meanwhile Mary is paralyzed and the Dean is doing
1:28:48
his whole, like, James Bond villain.
1:28:50
Here is my whole plot. Yeah.
1:28:52
Yeah. For you and they he's here's the
1:28:56
cops come in and he hides behind the curtain.
1:28:58
Behind the curtain. And the Sergeant looks around.
1:29:03
Everywhere. No Dean here the.
1:29:05
Dean, Kendall, you stay here with Mary, walk her around.
1:29:09
That won't be dangerous at all. We're gonna go call the EMTs
1:29:12
from way outside. God, they put no effort in
1:29:15
clearing this room. So yeah, they leave Kendall
1:29:18
there with Mary and he's over there trying to get her to walk
1:29:21
around. And then as this is happening.
1:29:23
She's like, trying like, she's like.
1:29:25
She can't speak. Yeah, she's pointing with her
1:29:27
eyes. She's.
1:29:27
Got the curtain and they're all like, oh man, her eyes.
1:29:30
You're paralyzed too. That's wild.
1:29:32
They really you're. Kendall's walking around and I
1:29:36
don't know if any of you have ever tried to walk on like, so I
1:29:40
was wearing slip ONS at work the other day and I took them off
1:29:43
and I sat cross like it in my chair because I can't not sit
1:29:46
that way. Yeah.
1:29:47
And when I uncrossed my legs, my foot was asleep and I was trying
1:29:50
to put it into my shoe and it kept folding under.
1:29:52
And I was just like, I need to just let myself not be numb
1:29:56
before I do this because otherwise I'm going to, like,
1:29:58
break a fucking bone. And I'm sure that she's got like
1:30:02
a bunch of broken toes and maybe like one of those little
1:30:05
delicate bones in the foot, like his.
1:30:07
Kendall's just dragging her along.
1:30:09
It would have been funny if he was just like dragging her over,
1:30:11
like the coffee table and she was like, all right, you're
1:30:13
doing good. Good job A.
1:30:15
Tiny tear just yeah her face. Anyways, the Dean's like slowly
1:30:19
peeking out from behind the curtain about the attack, but
1:30:22
Kendall notices isn't at the last second.
1:30:23
Shuts Mary. Yeah, just like she falls hard
1:30:27
on the ground too, so. Commitment once again from
1:30:30
Linda. I am impressed.
1:30:33
She put so much more heart into this movie than it probably
1:30:37
deserved and it's amazing. It is she.
1:30:40
Committed. She did.
1:30:42
It's respectable. I admire it.
1:30:45
So they are wrestling on the ground and the Dean gets the
1:30:49
upper hand and he's about to take the knife to Kendall, but
1:30:53
the Lieutenant comes in just in time and head shots and.
1:30:55
Very clean shot right in the middle of the forehead, yeah.
1:30:58
So everything's cool. Yeah, we get a quick exposition,
1:31:03
you know, wrap up like, you know, he killed his mother, he
1:31:06
was building, you know, this is just the nature of the beast.
1:31:10
Mary's going to be OK. We've got the EM TS coming.
1:31:12
Oh, look, she's conveniently moving around because now it
1:31:15
works for the plot. Yeah.
1:31:16
And then the sergeant's like, yeah, you never know what you're
1:31:19
gonna see in things like this kid.
1:31:21
And then he hits a Batman secret.
1:31:25
Yeah. Secret door.
1:31:26
And it turns the bookcase around and there's the pieces woman.
1:31:30
And she falls off the hook onto Kendall.
1:31:34
We have a quick cut to a few minutes later.
1:31:36
He's traumatized. He's like freaking the fuck out
1:31:39
and it's scary. Like a corpse of like multiple
1:31:41
people assembled. It's probably not a pleasant
1:31:44
thing to have happened to you. Yeah.
1:31:45
And so the lieutenant's like, well, do you still want to be a
1:31:48
cop? And Kendall's like, are you
1:31:49
kidding? This is the best thing I'm.
1:31:50
Ever. Yeah, he's like, I love this
1:31:51
shit. This is awesome.
1:31:52
A dead woman. A variety of pieces.
1:31:55
A variety of dead women landed on me.
1:31:58
Aw, man, it was awesome. Like.
1:32:00
That many women wanting me at once.
1:32:02
My dream. Yeah.
1:32:03
So they're about to walk away and he goes to grab something.
1:32:08
He stops and like, looks over the body and the wit is like,
1:32:11
all right, don't brood over the body.
1:32:13
It's like, OK, fine, let me grab my coat.
1:32:15
Yeah. So he reaches over to get his
1:32:16
coat, and as he's doing that, the body of the woman reaches
1:32:20
up, grabs his balls and fucking smashes them with his hand.
1:32:24
Or with their hands. Yeah, her like fingernails
1:32:27
ripping into the denim and. Which apparently actually cut
1:32:30
his. Yes, they were using razor
1:32:32
blades to set off the squid for the blood and.
1:32:36
I would not OK that. I can't believe he was like,
1:32:39
yeah, put the razors there. Actor never worked again as an
1:32:43
actor. Nope, he was done after.
1:32:44
That he was like, you know what, no, it's not worth it, but.
1:32:48
How do you go up from here? You already, you went into it
1:32:52
with this and then. Like you went out on a high
1:32:54
note. Dude, yeah, come on.
1:32:55
Like that's the one that you retire on.
1:32:58
Plus, like he made sure that he got the full frontal shot in
1:33:01
before he was like, you know, castrated He.
1:33:06
That's true. Yeah.
1:33:07
Yeah, We saw his. If they shot this chronological
1:33:10
order, yeah, we don't know. But I mean, that's how the movie
1:33:13
ends. Like he gets his ball crush.
1:33:16
No, I meant his character being castrated.
1:33:18
I don't think he was like actually castrated by the.
1:33:20
No, I know razors. I thought you were just being
1:33:22
like, Oh no, you're overstating the fact that you got his Dick
1:33:26
nicked. No, I'm talking about the
1:33:28
character itself, Kendall. Yeah, yeah.
1:33:30
So, yeah, his balls burst and that's how this movie ends.
1:33:35
So do you, do you have any adjustments to your rating?
1:33:40
No, I still think 7 1/2 is right.
1:33:42
It's good sleazy fun. I'm sick with 9 1/2.
1:33:45
OK? I love this movie, man.
1:33:46
It's the best kind of sleazy fun.
1:33:48
Honestly. It's just so fucking awesome.
1:33:51
So. What Italian do you think of it?
1:33:55
OK, so Talia, she wanted to go out basically immediately, 5
1:34:00
minutes and 23 seconds in once she realized that the kid was
1:34:03
never going to finish this puzzle and she was upset with
1:34:04
that. When she came in, she built what
1:34:06
I dubbed the smut wall and it's where she took her blankets.
1:34:10
And she does this sometimes if she is frightened by a movie or
1:34:14
like has no interest in watching it, she passive aggressively
1:34:17
takes her blankets and pillow and like mushes them up so she
1:34:21
can't see the TV. She lays on the other side of it
1:34:24
on the couch. Like a little Fort.
1:34:25
Yeah, she was like, I'm not watching.
1:34:27
And she made a point of doing that, and she left the room
1:34:30
after the movie was over. So she wanted us to know she
1:34:32
wasn't watching it. Yeah.
1:34:34
So I think it gives this a four because I think that's how many
1:34:40
women were in the pieces, woman by the end.
1:34:43
Yeah, so, OK, that's fair. So Zoe's ultimate warrior.
1:34:51
I think it's Willard. Willard.
1:34:53
Wow, Willard. 'Cause he's just around and he's
1:34:56
causing his own kind of mayhem, but he's not an actual killer.
1:35:01
I feel like she might like Bruce Lee.
1:35:06
He just like in the darkness arise and just like he does Kung
1:35:09
Fu and just like attacks people without expecting it.
1:35:13
And, you know, if she does fail, she like, oh, I don't know.
1:35:17
I think like I just tripped and fell and I, you know.
1:35:21
However, Willard was not super helpful at turning off the loud
1:35:25
music quickly which feels cuz Zoe is like she sings us loud
1:35:31
music every morning and evening. That's true.
1:35:34
She's been doing it. Any time we get excited on this
1:35:36
episode, she comes over to the door and yells at us.
1:35:38
Yeah, she's like, hey. There she.
1:35:40
Is, yeah. So, OK, yeah, Willard.
1:35:43
We'll count Willard. God.
1:35:45
So I know, I know. Thank you.
1:35:46
Do you agree with that? That's not good.
1:35:50
Now she was like, yeah, sure, see it work.
1:35:53
It works. If you must I.
1:35:57
Guess. Who did you relate to?
1:36:00
Who did I relate to? That's a good question.
1:36:02
Who did I relate to?
1:36:15
I think I I related to the girl skateboarding around the town.
1:36:20
Exciting like that sounds. That looks awesome.
1:36:22
I used to do that. Yeah.
1:36:23
Like it's a lot of fun and just like go skateboarding around
1:36:26
town, down the streets, shit like that.
1:36:28
I guess I'm just going to write to little Timmy being fucking
1:36:31
furious that his puzzle being ruined.
1:36:33
That's true. Yeah, I'm not going on a murder
1:36:36
spree, dude. Yeah, I'd be.
1:36:37
Honestly infuriated it's. Probably accurate because like
1:36:40
we will probably be working on this puzzle for 40 years.
1:36:44
Yeah. So that's very true.
1:36:47
Yeah, set, set a timer, you all. I've got us in 40 years.
1:36:50
Yeah, at 38 now. Yeah, 38 since then.
1:36:54
Yeah, True. OK, so dream sequel pieces too
1:37:00
could have happened. What would we have liked for it
1:37:02
to have been? So do we keep the characters?
1:37:11
I think you got to. I don't think you'd do new
1:37:15
people with this. Want to pitch?
1:37:17
I'm very stupid crossover that I assume is written by somebody
1:37:23
who's just got bulletin points of each movie.
1:37:26
OK, I want pieces. I want pieces to pieces to be a
1:37:33
crossover of Texas Chainsaw and Challengers.
1:37:37
Cuz there's tennis and there's chainsaws and I don't.
1:37:40
Fucking know what challenger I know.
1:37:42
It's, I think it's about tennis. I mean, that's all I know.
1:37:44
OK, I've got a great idea. OK, so you don't call it that,
1:37:50
You call it peace. And it's Kindle and he needs one
1:37:56
piece because he lost his balls and he's killing male victims
1:38:00
now, but he's got to find that magical Dick that can cause that
1:38:04
kind of power that he had on campus back then.
1:38:07
OK, but is it his balls? Is it his Dick?
1:38:10
Is it one ball? Whole genitalia.
1:38:12
OK, so. It's hand.
1:38:13
Balls. So if if we want to continue it
1:38:17
being so, yeah, it makes sense for it to be peace because he
1:38:20
just needs to get like the genital.
1:38:22
But if he wants to get. 2 balls, then two pieces.
1:38:25
I feel like there's no way his Dick did not get like collateral
1:38:29
damage with that probably. Probably.
1:38:31
Yeah, so he's got to get that or pieces like he's got to get like
1:38:36
a Dick and then just for the hell of it, like two different
1:38:41
balls hold. On I'm doing of the poster.
1:38:49
There we go. Yeah, yeah.
1:38:53
Yeah. So she just drew a Dick and
1:38:56
balls and then she wrote pieces and then she put a big X on the
1:39:00
S. Yeah, I mean the Dick and balls,
1:39:02
the piece. Yeah, dude, fuck yeah.
1:39:04
That's really good. Hire me, Hollywood.
1:39:08
And the tagline would be. It's everything you hope it.
1:39:12
Wouldn't be. OK.
1:39:17
So Speaking of tagline, yeah, what was the original tagline?
1:39:20
It's exactly what you think it is.
1:39:22
Yeah, it's exactly what you think it is.
1:39:23
Yeah. So we had what you wrote them
1:39:26
down. Yes, chainsaw devil, bastard
1:39:28
man. Yeah.
1:39:30
And absolutely no one understands this.
1:39:33
I kind of like the second one. I like the first one a lot too
1:39:36
though. Man God that's so tough.
1:39:44
I think for a tagline absolutely no one understands, this makes
1:39:47
more sense. Yeah, Yeah.
1:39:49
OK. I'm good with that.
1:39:50
I liked both of those that we. Came up with those are perfect
1:39:53
taglines for this. Movie I had one last night and
1:39:56
arrogance that I may have. I was like, oh, I'll definitely
1:40:00
remember it when we record tomorrow and I don't remember
1:40:02
what it was and it was a playoff of it's exactly what you think
1:40:05
it is. I'm sure you don't remember it.
1:40:07
Eventually, maybe you'll be able to tell us on next week's
1:40:11
episode. Maybe.
1:40:12
OK, we are now at the Internet reviews portion of the show.
1:40:19
Yes, we are. Let's get us a review pulled up
1:40:22
here. Let's get it.
1:40:23
All I pulled A1 of 10 on IMDb titled Super Schlock.
1:40:30
So this is where it says. Wait, it's a one out of time
1:40:32
that it's called Super Schlock? Yeah, that's doesn't make sense
1:40:36
to me. Super Schlock seems like it
1:40:37
should be. Yeah, for us, yeah.
1:40:39
I think there are plenty of people that hate schlock.
1:40:41
And then there's a part of me that wants to combine it with
1:40:44
super hosts and I am super shocked.
1:40:48
OK Pieces is worth watching for anyone who likes really bad
1:40:52
movies. This one is so bad that I'm at a
1:40:55
loss with what to say. Bad acting, bad script, bad
1:40:59
camera work, bad, bad bad. The gore is free flowing in this
1:41:03
very misogynistic movie, but it's rarely troubling because
1:41:06
the rest so hilariously bad. It was filmed in Spain but
1:41:09
pretends to be in Boston. A chainsaw is often used during
1:41:13
the killings, but you'd think people at the university would
1:41:15
notice someone walking around with a big bright yellow
1:41:17
chainsaw. So far every single thing this
1:41:20
person has said I agree with, but it's also why I love the
1:41:22
movie so I'm confused. And Linda Day George playing a
1:41:25
young tennis player is one of the funniest bits of casting
1:41:29
I've ever seen. Her overacting is almost
1:41:31
peerless. But the scene that is since this
1:41:34
horror film into sheer so bad is good.
1:41:36
Nirvana is the surprise ending. One has to see it to believe it
1:41:41
or not believe it. Wow, it sounds like he kind of
1:41:44
liked. This Yeah, I was gonna say this
1:41:45
sounds like a person who gave it an objective rating, but then in
1:41:51
the review was like. But it was awesome, actually
1:41:53
really fun, yeah, but it was bad. 10 but it's amazing.
1:41:56
It was bad, but man it was fun. Yeah.
1:41:59
Yeah, well, that's what we said too.
1:42:01
Yeah. So we we rate subjectively so.
1:42:04
Right, Right. Yeah.
1:42:05
Objectively, probably not the best movie.
1:42:07
No, no. But subjectively, fuck yeah.
1:42:09
I love it. All right, listener reviews, we
1:42:13
only have one. OK.
1:42:15
It is from. I could have saw Chad sent us a
1:42:18
review too though. Well, he's the one.
1:42:21
Well, you were pulling up Instagram.
1:42:22
I was double checking OK just before I can definitively say
1:42:27
OK. So yeah, Chad says pieces.
1:42:30
Talk about a movie I should love instead of just like gnarly
1:42:34
kills, nudity and the bookends are nigh untouchable.
1:42:37
Then everything else about the movie commits my number one sin
1:42:40
for our film. It gets really boring.
1:42:44
I've seen it several times and I still always feel the same way.
1:42:47
Not hating, just not praising either.
1:42:50
Chad, that's fair, but I also blame you for bringing Doom
1:42:52
Asylum into our lives, so I'm not sure I need to know where
1:42:57
this. Chad says Doom Doom Asylum is
1:43:00
terrible. He's never said that's a good
1:43:02
movie. Yes, but he also like, he talks
1:43:07
about it a lot. He does, I feel like, Yeah.
1:43:09
Well, he's also seen pieces several times, that's true.
1:43:11
OK, so I just, I need to just accept Chad for who he is, which
1:43:15
I generally do anyway. Yeah.
1:43:16
So. OK.
1:43:17
Yeah. And you know what?
1:43:19
This is a movie that I would expect him to love.
1:43:20
And I respect the fact that he acknowledges that.
1:43:22
He just likes it. Yeah.
1:43:24
I mean, I like that you don't just go with the flow of, like,
1:43:27
most of the mutant crew and, like, praise.
1:43:30
Yeah, pieces just for the fact that it was on the last drive
1:43:34
in. Yeah.
1:43:34
Like, if you don't like it, fuck yeah.
1:43:36
Like it's fine. It makes sense.
1:43:37
It makes sense to not like it. Yeah, there's plenty of those
1:43:40
movies that should be things that I like, but I just don't.
1:43:45
I mean, yeah, I don't like The Changeling and I do not like New
1:43:48
York Ripper. And they're, they're very wildly
1:43:51
different movies, but you know. But they checked the Jesse boxes
1:43:55
if you put them on paper. Yeah, if you put them on paper,
1:43:58
they should be movies that I love, but I just don't, right?
1:44:00
Yeah, they're just. And that just happens sometimes.
1:44:04
Yeah. You didn't like Cruel World last
1:44:07
week and I still don't understand why you hate it as
1:44:09
much as you do. I think I pretty much did the
1:44:12
same thing as the Internet review with that one where I was
1:44:15
like, This is why this is bad. But I still had fun ultimately.
1:44:22
OK, so yeah, that's it. That's it for our reviews, and
1:44:25
that's it for this week's episode.
1:44:28
OK. I haven't fully committed on
1:44:32
next week's episode yet. We're recording this the end of
1:44:35
July. We haven't put together a full
1:44:37
August calendar yet. Yeah, so I know this is
1:44:42
confusing because you're listening to this in August and
1:44:46
you've probably already seen our schedule on social media.
1:44:49
So Jesse in the past, which is my present doesn't has several
1:44:55
options and just hasn't committed to 1 yet.
1:44:58
So that's that's where we're at. Just check us on social media.
1:45:01
Segway what up? Yeah, we're on Instagram and
1:45:04
threads at least favorite scary movie podcast.
1:45:06
We're on Twitter and blue ski at leastfavepod.
1:45:08
You can find us on our website at what's your least favorite
1:45:10
scary movie.com or you can e-mail us at least favorite
1:45:12
scarymovie@gmail.com. We also want to thank our
1:45:14
bubbies, our patrons. We've got Joe Freakatron, as is
1:45:19
his name, Amber, Michael, Lord Zombie Tyler, and.
1:45:24
Yeah. Thank you guys so much.
1:45:25
We appreciate you guys being a big part of our show.
1:45:28
It is very important to us that you guys support us in the ways
1:45:31
that you do. It means a whole lot.
1:45:33
And we're actually looking at some additional equipment for
1:45:36
some additional fun projects. And the, the Patreon helps us
1:45:40
with that. And we're gonna use it to, to
1:45:42
give back to you all and try and grow some of the things that
1:45:46
we're doing here. Yeah.
1:45:47
So if you like the show, you can go on over to our Patreon and
1:45:50
join those cool people that we just shouted out.
1:45:54
But if you are unable to do so, we also would be cool with you
1:45:59
just rating us on whatever app that you're listening on because
1:46:02
that does us a big favor as well.
1:46:05
You can also write a review if you feel so inclined because we
1:46:07
love those. We read those on the show when
1:46:09
we get them, so that's cool too. And also just sharing episodes
1:46:14
with people online, with friends, whatever, that is a
1:46:18
huge help also. So we appreciate it when you
1:46:21
guys do that, when you guys make comments about episodes, if
1:46:24
there's something about it that you liked or just if you like
1:46:27
the movie in general, you know, it's a good time.
1:46:29
We like talking about that stuff with you guys.
1:46:31
And you know, over on our social media is where all that can be
1:46:34
had. Also our e-mail.
1:46:36
So don't feel shy that e-mail see 'cause we have plenty of
1:46:39
people that do that also. Yeah, e-mail us DMS on socials,
1:46:42
tag us and stuff. Yeah.
1:46:45
It's totally cool. We liked it.
1:46:46
Yeah, Yeah. So we thank you guys for being
1:46:49
here. Absolutely, and we will see you
1:46:54
next time. Yeah, next time on Jesse's movie
1:46:56
that we don't know yet, Yes, but you do if you are on those
1:46:59
things that we just. Talked about.
1:47:00
You know this before me. Yeah, but also not.
1:47:04
It's confusing. It's time logic.
1:47:06
We don't need to worry about it. It's OK.
1:47:08
Time's not linear. Everything's fake.
1:47:11
Bye. Bye.