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5 Ways a Narcissists Gets You To Do What They Want · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  Five ways, 5 to 5. Five ways narcissists get you to
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  do what they want. Five ways that narcissists
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  manipulate you into doing whatever they want you to do
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  into fulfilling their needs. That's what we're talking about
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  today, y'all. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist.
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  Here to give you the perspective of a narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Woo, welcome back folks. Welcome back, welcome back.
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  Yes, the mind of a narcissist. Today we talk about the mind of
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  a narcissist in five tactics, five ways that they get you to
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  do their bidding, that they get you to do what they want you to
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  do 55, you know, $5 foot loans. Y'all remember that?
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  I'm, I'm, I'm from the generation where we did what,
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  what they did $5 foot loans. So I used to work at subway and
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  whatnot. But yes, this list there could
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  there could be other things, right?
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  This is not just a cohesive list of all the only things that
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  narcissists do, right? There might be some bonus at the
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  end, but this is not a cohesive full list.
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  If I missed something, add it. Add it in the comment section.
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  Feel free to take part 'cause if I miss something, you add it.
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  Somebody else reads your comment and you help somebody else.
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  You see what I'm saying? This is, this is a helping,
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  healing community. Yes, I have a community.
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  I have my channel memberships. I have my own support group,
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  Mental illness.net. But this right here in and of
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  itself, my page is a healing community, right?
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  So let's get into it. The first way that narcissists
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  get you to do what they want is they love bomb you, right?
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  They love bomb you. They give you what you've been
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  at. They, they pretend to be
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  everything that you want and need, right?
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  They pretend to give you, They don't necessarily pretend
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  because some, some of them actually want the same things at
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  first, right? But they just overwhelm your
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  system. They, they shock your system
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  into giving you what you want and need.
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  They shouldn't overload your system.
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  They overwhelm you by just showering you with gifts, shower
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  you, shower you in the bedroom, showering with you right?
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  They shower with you sometimes to love bomb you, if you get my
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  drift. I But yes, they love bomb you to
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  get what they get to get what they want from you, to extract
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  what they want from you. And love bombing just doesn't
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  happen in the beginning. Of course, if they want to be
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  with you, if they want to be in a relationship, if they want to
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  sleep with you or whatever, they're going to love bomb you.
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  But when you're already in the relationship or this is your
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  parents or your friend or whoever it is, they can love
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  bomb you by giving you what you want and need and then ask you
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  for something. Hey, I know we're in, we are on
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  vacation right now. You all know you always wanted
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  to take this trip, but I need to ask you for forgiveness for
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  cheating on you 19 times and having 14 kids outside of the
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  relationship. What?
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  You see what I'm saying? I know that's just crazy
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  example, but that that type of stuff can happen.
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  They can love bomb you like that right there later on down the
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  road to try to get what they want from you.
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  You said something to try to get you to move, to try to
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  manipulate you, to try to to try to get you to do something that
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  you might not normally want to do.
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  So love bombing is probably going to be one of the top ways
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  that narcissists get you to do what they want, right?
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  You've never felt the love like this before.
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  You don't want to miss out on it.
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  You don't. You can't imagine your life
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  without this person. You cannot imagine this person
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  giving somebody else what they're supposed to be given to
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  you. You can't imagine putting all
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  this work in with this person and then being with somebody
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  else. So yeah, they love bomb you to
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  get what they want from you, right.
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  And also, y'all put in the comment section, how many of
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  these have you experienced? To me, I couldn't experience all
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  of them, which is rough. Yeah, let's keep, let's keep it
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  high. It's rough to experience all of
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  these things at the same time or just throughout the relationship
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  dynamic, right? And I say relationship dynamic
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  because it doesn't have to be an intimate relationship.
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  It doesn't have to be your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband,
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  wife, partner, whatever. This could be a parent, your
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  friend, your cousin, your uncle, your auntie, your grandma, your
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  grandpa, your boss, your coworkers, whoever it is right,
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  It doesn't one of your your Internet crush or whatever.
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  I the person you're in a parasocial relationship with
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  your your favorite political candidate, right?
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  This how it works. They love bomb you to get what
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  they want from you. And then I guess what they once
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  they get what they want, typically they discard you in a
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  cycle starts over again again. It would not.
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  So the second thing that a lot of narcissistic people do to get
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  you to do what they want is where I put weaponized
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  incompetence. Do you know what weaponized
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  incompetence is? Is pretending to not know how to
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  do something or telling you that you do it better, Making it seem
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  like, well, I'm just lost on whatever is going on here.
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  I don't know what to do or what to say or how to even go about
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  doing this. You just do it better.
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  You wash the clothes better. You wash the dishes better.
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  You pay this better. You get the kids ready for
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  school better. You make my dinner better.
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  You wipe my nose better. You do this better.
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  You get me dressed better, You do this better.
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  They're pretending to be incompetent to manipulate you
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  into doing something for them or not asking them to do something
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  at all. This is very common in their
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  household with an emotionally immature person or a
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  narcissistic person. Toxic person, right?
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  A manipulative person. They will absolutely pretend not
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  to know how to do something in order to get you to do it.
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  I know, I'm sorry I don't know how to wash dishes as good as
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  you do. I just wasn't raised.
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  I had a dishwasher when I grew up.
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  I'm sorry. I don't know how to clean the
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  bathroom like you do. I'm just, I get very sick and
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  the smell, the smell just makes me knock, knocks me out.
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  It's your smell. It's your own ass that's
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  stinking. But weaponized incompetence is
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  how they can manipulate you into getting you to do stuff that
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  they want you to do, right? It absolutely can't be one of
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  those things #3 let's say 5 #3 this is a tandem right here.
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  This is this is going to be a tandem 1 coercion and guilt
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  trips. Like they can coerce you to do
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  what they want and they can use guilt, they can use guilt to get
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  you to do what they want. A lot of times the coercion, and
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  this is not just this is not going to be only restricted to
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  the bedroom, but happens a lot in the bedroom, right?
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  This is where a lot of the coercion, the course control,
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  the coercion comes into play right here.
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  The guilt tripping comes into play, right?
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  Well, you'll be in the bedroom with this person and you don't
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  want to do something and they'll make you feel bad about not
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  wanting to do anything or they'll, they'll coerce you into
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  doing something. They'll just like, well, I'm
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  going, if you don't do this, I'm going to go clap your sister's
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  cheeks. I'm going to go bounce.
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  I'm going to go bounce on your brother or your dad If you don't
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  bow. If you, if I can't bounce on
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  you, I'm going to go bounce on your best friend.
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  I'm going to go bounce on my ex. I'm going to clap my ex's
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  cheeks. You see what I'm saying?
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  They might go into it like that. Like realistically, that's how I
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  might handle it. That's how I might go down,
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  right, Right. Let's keep you hot.
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  They will coercion and guilt trips or how they manipulate
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  you. They make you feel bad about not
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  wanting to do something and it works.
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  It does work. They make you feel bad about not
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  wanting to go somewhere, not wanting to do something, not
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  wanting them to go out or whatever the case may be.
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  And then you'll give in because they coerce you.
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  They guilt trip you into it, right?
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  I was going to put these two as separate, but I just feel like
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  they go into hand in hand. Coercion leads to guilt.
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  Guilt leads to coercion, right? The coercive control and things
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  like that. So this happens to a lot of
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  people. This happened to a ton of
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  people, right? Have you ever been coerced into
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  doing something that you didn't want to do?
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  A lot of times this goes into like the realms of the bedroom.
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  I say you like the BDSM stuff. Like I don't like being choked.
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  Well, my ex like being choked. She actually like being hung
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  from the ceiling and spanked. But I miss her.
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  Maybe I'll go talk to her again. Maybe she, maybe she's still
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  single. Let me call her.
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  Then the next thing you know, you hanging from the ceiling in
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  spandex get your ass spanked because you don't want them to
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  go back to the ex. You see what I'm saying?
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  You see how manipulation works? You see how guilt trip works?
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  They, like I said, it's just not restricted to the bedroom.
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  But it could be one of those bedroom things that happens on a
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  consistent basis. OK, the next thing #4 what is
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  this for? Yeah, 4442 left, two left.
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  I got violence. I'm not laughing at the actual
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  violence. I'm just laughing at the fact
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  that narcissistic people are so damn, just a lot of us are so
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  immature and so, so just we can't handle things in a
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  rational way. We can't handle things in a just
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  a meet you halfway type of situation.
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  We don't compromise. You notice you notice compromise
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  is not on the list, right. They compromise like, hey, let's
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  do this. Let's do this.
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  This time, let's do what you want to do this time.
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  Let's do what I want to do next time.
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  And vice versa. OK, Let's meet in the middle.
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  Oh, violence. Yeah.
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  I wrote down violence. Violence is on my list.
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  They will threaten actual violence or they will actually
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  be violent towards you. They'll beat your ass.
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  It's wild. Like they just won't.
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  They just can't let you live your life to the fullest extent
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  in a normal, healthy way. They got to be violent, they got
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  to be dangerous, they got to be toxic as hell, they got to be
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  manipulative. They just can't let you have it
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  right. They always got to do this other
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  stuff. They always got to keep things
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  moving in this direction because they feel like it benefits them
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  the most. They always got to do this type
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  of toxic ass, crazy ass stuff. Realistically, you know,
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  violence is horrible, narcissistic people, and
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  violence is a awful, awful, awful thing.
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  It is. They will try to be violent
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  towards you because they want to hurt and harm you.
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  They want to do all this kind of crazy stuff.
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  They will they, some of them like the violence, right?
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  Because they're sadistic. But sometimes they'll use the
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  threats of violence or actual violence to get you to do what
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  they want you to do. If you don't move out of my way,
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  I'm going to smack you in your beeping face.
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  If you don't get out of the bed right now and bend over, I'm
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  going to beep. I'm going to hit you in your
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  back of your beep. You know what I'm saying they
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  will threaten violence not only towards you, sometimes they will
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  threaten violence towards the children.
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  It's the violence towards your kids or family members or
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  whoever else it is. And does it work?
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  Yes it works. Y'all have you been in these
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  violence? You know how people how many
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  people I talk to as some of the saddest stories I talk to are
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  people who just who are coerced by by abuse.
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  Narcissistic robot talking too fast me to slow down and get my
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  words together. I haven't did a narcissistic
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  robot in a long time. I thought about that the other
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  day. I was like, I ain't did the
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  robot in a long time. But you see how this is a piece
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  of it right here? Yeah.
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  They can use violence to get you to move.
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  If you don't do this, I'm going to hit you.
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  If you don't do this, I'm going to hit them.
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  Violence, it works. It serves them.
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  Violence serves a purpose with narcissistic people.
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  Not all of them, not all of us, but violence serves a big
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  purpose with a lot of narcissistic people.
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  Right. The last thing that I have Roden
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  down, Roden written down, wrote down, the last thing I had
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  written down on here is leaving you or threats of leaving you.
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  That's the way to get you to move.
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  They'll get you to do something that they want you to do or
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  something that you don't normally want to do.
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  They threaten to leave you or they actually do leave you and
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  then come back. They play the leave, they play
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  the leave, come back game, leave, come back, leave, come
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  back, leave, come back. They play the game on a
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  consistent basis because they love it, because they like it,
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  because they want some more of it.
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  You see what I'm saying? This is the mentality of
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  narcissistic people, of toxic ass people.
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  They go about it like this, They go about it like that.
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  They do these horrible ass toxic ass things and they say they
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  threaten to leave you and does it work?
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  Especially if you have an abandonment wound that you
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  haven't healed, they will absolutely consistently threaten
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  to leave you because they know it works.
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  They'll consistently threaten to leave you or they will leave you
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  and it'll come back. They'll leave the house and then
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  they'll come back. And so now you know they come
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  back. I talked to a lady the other
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  day. She was super sad because her
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  narcissistic partner does that. They'll just leave and come back
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  instead of having a conversation.
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  They'll just leave and come back.
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  Her her partner will leave and she will come back.
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  Just threatens to leave all the time.
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  You don't set up. I'm going to stop.
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  I'm going to leave. It's a childish, immature
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  response, but leaving and threatening to leave is a
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  narcissistic tactic to get you to do what they want you to do,
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  y'all. So thank y'all for riding with
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  me to the end of this video, y'all.
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  Thank y'all like seriously, thank you so much.
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  Our next in person workshop is in Atlanta, GA, June the 28th
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  ATL. e-mail me and I will send you the link. e-mail me at
• 13:02
  info@mentalillness.net and I will send you the link for our
• 13:06
  next live in person workshop to get registered and whatnot,
• 13:09
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  It's going to be in person and virtual.
• 13:13
  So we're making this virtual as well, y'all.
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  So e-mail me info.info@mentalillness.net and
• 13:19
  I will send you the link to register for our Atlanta, GA
• 13:22
  workshop in person and virtual on June 28th.
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  Hit the subscribe button y'all and I am out peace.
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  Peace.