Latest / ok storytime / I SKIPPED my friend's wedding to AVOID my ex... because he used to stalk me! -r/relationships | Reddit Stories | EP3081

Transcript

I SKIPPED my friend's wedding to AVOID my ex... because he used to stalk me! -r/relationships | Reddit Stories | EP3081 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Angie.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: And this is Kion, your favorite OK Storytime host, and
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: we've got great stories coming right up.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: But before that, we have a quick two-minute break from
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: the sponsors that keep this show alive.
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: I skipped my friend's wedding to avoid my ex because
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: he used to stalk me.
• 0:16
  Speaker 4: That's wild.
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: I received the online save the date, and of course
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: replied yes. Then I was scrolling through the guestbook and
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: saw my ex's name. When I saw his enthusiastic reply
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: of yes, my heart figuratively stopped. I felt cold inside,
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: and I started hyperventilating. The ex, this man, mistreated me
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: for months, isolated me from my friends and family, and
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: used me for money, and then cheated on me. He
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: made me feel crazy for confronting him about his substance use.
• 0:45
  Speaker 4: No, you just were crazy.
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: About the girls hanging around him. I eventually stopped asking
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: him because I wanted to keep him happy. When he
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: moved away for a few months and we were long distance,
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: he had friends that would report back to him if
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: I went out with friends. He would confront me on
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: our Skype chats about me being out with guy friends, unchaperoned.
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: and would forbid me to go out without a chaperone.
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: I eventually caved and didn't go out with any of
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: my friends unless they were the girls he knew or
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: I just stayed home. I lost contact with many friends
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: and my family, but then we were engaged and something
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: broke in me when I realized I would have to
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: give up everything to be with him and I envisioned
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: myself not wanting to have our future together. By the way,
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: this comes from MNT Throw. And if you want to
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: I'm Riley.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: And we're here to talk about some stuff, maybe get
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: some advice, maybe cry a little, laugh a little. I
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: don't know. I don't know what's going to happen. But
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: your job here is to listen and respond in the comments.
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: And our job is to tell you right this minute.
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: As OP says.
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: Also, I'm being sarcastic. This is a horrible person. If
• 1:57
  Speaker 4: anyone hasn't picked up on that yet.
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: When I finally broke it off for good with him,
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: he had previously installed a keylogger into my phone and computer.
• 2:06
  Speaker 4: Oh my god!
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: What is that?
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: A keylogger tracks every single key that you press on
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: your phone and your computer.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: Why would you need that?
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: So you can track messages that they might be sending,
• 2:20
  Speaker 4: track whatever they're typing. If you search anything up on Google,
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: it'll show like, oh, at 5.02 a.m., this person typed
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: in XYZ thing and then clicked on that.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: Is that what people would use for an office to
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: make sure people are staying on task? Who uses that professionally?
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: Professionally? That's a great question. I could see that professionally.
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: That's what they do if it's a highly secure thing
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: that they do that. The people that are more in
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: the tech thing, it's just a way to keep up with, oh,
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: what is someone saying about me? What are they doing?
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: This is used in a really bad way.
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I see. Anne was able to see everything I
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: sent and did. He kept pestering me everywhere, so I
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: notified his mom. I told her that if he contacted
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: me again, I was going to the cops. She said
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: she would take care of it. A few nights later,
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: I went to a late movie by myself and got
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: a call saying he was right outside my apartment. He
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: saw my light on and just wanted to talk. I
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: was not there at the time. He had a history
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: of stalking and previous allegations of doing the same things
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: to his ex-girlfriends. The next day, I started the proceedings
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: to get a restraining order out on him. Fun fact,
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: they are really hard to get. The order of protection
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: was granted for one year and I have moved on.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: I got a new laptop, phone, and changed my address.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: He was blocked on Facebook and I deleted all of
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: our mutual Facebook friends so they couldn't report back to
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: him on me. Now, seeing him RSVP to a mutual
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: friend's wedding threw me off kilter. My current boyfriend was
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: unable to attend with me due to work, so I
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: didn't want to go alone. Oh, I meant to email
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: the groom and explain how I didn't want my drama
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: to overshadow his wedding and that he may not have
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: been aware of the crazy ex-drama that happened a couple
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: of years ago, but I saved it as a draft
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: and never dealt with it.
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: Okay, you got to. She's going to let this guy
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: run your life. Say something.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: I pushed it back to my mind and was focusing
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: on work and school. But I got the email reminding
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: me about the wedding, didn't know what to do, and
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: did not show up. I sent the newly married couple
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: an Amazon package from their wedding registry with my apologies
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: and offers to take them out to dinner after their honeymoon,
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: but I don't know how to ask him now. Questions.
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: How do I bring this up to the groom? How
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: do I explain why I didn't reply and why I
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: didn't show up? Do I go into detail about the
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: horrible things my ex did? Do I show them a
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: copy of the restraining order? Do I just continue to
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: ignore and later message the groom to just take them
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: out for dinner? There's an update.
• 4:54
  Speaker 4: Okay. Don't show them the copy of the registration.
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 4:58
  Speaker 5: Oh, yeah.
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: Oh, my gosh. I want to get a few things
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: off my chest.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: Yep.
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: This thing happened to me a while ago. It doesn't
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: need to be crazy. Just, you know.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: Hey.
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: Here's a registrating order of this guy that dated for
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: a while ago. Also, huge creep. Bad in bed.
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: That's what she would say?
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think you should say that.
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: I mean, I think it's crappy that she didn't cancel
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: because that just cost the money.
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah, agreed.
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: And that's rude of you to do. You can't make
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: it just say you can't make it, you know? Don't
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: be like, oh, I put it off too much, and
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: now it's the day of the wedding, and uh-oh, I
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: should have done... That's crappy.
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: And these are friends. Why can't you bring this up
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: with your friends? Exactly.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I agree with Kim Foyne. Don't leave
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: it unacknowledged if you care about the friendship. That was
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: an important day for your friend, and it's an understandable
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: reason to miss that day, which is true.
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: It is.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: It's an important event for them, and exactly what you said,
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: you didn't want that to be overshadowed with all your
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: trauma and whatever, and That's just weird. He's a stalker.
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: So obviously I'm not going to a place where my stalker,
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: I can't. There's a restraining order. He would have, like
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: one of us would have to leave. So, you know,
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: lawfully it couldn't be possible anyway. But there is an update.
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: So I took the advice of some to call my
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: friend rather than an impersonal email or Facebook message and
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: left a nice voicemail offering to take him and his
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: wife to dinner and apologizing for missing their wedding. He
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: called back and squeezed me in their packed schedule before
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: they leave for their honeymoon. I saw them last night
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: for dinner. I gave them hugs and apologized again for
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: missing their wedding. Groom said he vaguely remembered the bad
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: breakup and the restraining order, but said he thought enough
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: time had passed because the order of protection had expired.
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: He also said they sent out the invites and saved
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: the dates in waves and the ex and I were
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: in different waves. He said he thought we could put
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: aside our issues for one day for his special day.
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: He said he had invited family members that didn't get
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: along with one another with the expectations that everyone could
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: put aside their issues for this wedding. I told him
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: I didn't want to see the ex ever again, especially
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: being alone at the wedding, and wasn't comfortable at all attending.
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: My friend acknowledged this, and then we had a good
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: dinner and caught up since our college days.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: I mean.
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: Restraining orders stick with people, though. It's not... Family drama.
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: Family drama restraining order.
• 7:33
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I.
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: See, with family drama, I... Like, it's different because it's
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: family and there's usually a bunch of people on your
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: side and a bunch of people not on your side.
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: You know, you have that. But with the whole ex thing,
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: you were going alone. He maybe could have went alone.
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: I'm not entirely sure, but... It's not... You don't want
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: to put yourself in that situation.
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: I think.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: You weren't, you didn't feel safe. And they should say,
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: you know what, our bad.
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: Just put aside your differences for a day. He stalked
• 8:09
  Speaker 4: you for a couple of months. Just put it aside
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: for one day.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: Yes, I agree with Anne. Not getting along and being
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: stalked are very different things.
• 8:18
  Speaker 4: It's not like he's going to stalk you again. He
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: wouldn't do that.
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Anyway, they confirmed they had received my many gifts
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: the day after their wedding. Then they said the ex
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: had RSVP'd and volunteered to be the sound guy, MC
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: in sound system, but did not show up. Oh, see,
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: that's crappy of him. Wow, so neither of them showed up.
• 8:46
  Speaker 4: Weird.
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: But I wonder.
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: What his reason was.
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: Because he said, oh, I want... He literally was like,
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: I want to be the MC in Sound System guy.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: And they're like, okay. And then you don't show up.
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: That's way crappier than RSVPing and just not going. My
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: friend had to man the Sound System on his own
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: wedding day. The groom and bride said they would have
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: rather me show up than the ex. We have plans
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: for me to see their house when they return from
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: their honeymoon and hang out more frequently. They have an
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: incredible collection of board games. It was a great dinner.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: Dang.
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean... I think you did the right thing, OP.
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: I don't think that you have to feel bad about
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: not being comfortable at an uncomfortable place and setting. Like,
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: you don't have to feel bad. But I do think
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: that your stalker, he sounds like a horrible person from
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: all the things you've said and then how he's like, oh,
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: I want to be, like, doing stuff for the wedding
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: and then just doesn't show up with no explanation at all.
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: Probably didn't even get them a gift, anything. Like, Just
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: completely forgot or something. That's crappy. That's not a friend.
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: So, yeah. I don't know.
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: I think you did the right thing. but that's the
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: end of that story and we got another one coming
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: right up my best friend's ex revealed how she really
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: felt about me after their breakup yikes patty 24 female
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: and i 24 female met during our sophomore year of
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: college we both had been accepted into the same selective
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: education program ridiculous levels of similarities in looks, interests, and personality.
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: We were a great fit for each other, we were
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: roomed together our junior year, and were practically inseparable. Our
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: faculty used to joke that they couldn't believe there were
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: two of us. Enter Mark, 27 male. He was also
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: accepted into the same program our junior year. Mark wastedly
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: expressed feelings for me the night we all graduated, which
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: were not reciprocated, and I told him that. He did
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: not take it well. After graduation, I took a job
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: in a state across the country. He took a job
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: in a state up north. And Patty stayed and took
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: a job in the state where we graduated. Mark eventually
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: got over our falling out. We began to talk and
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: became good friends while we were both away from our
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: alma mater state. Unbeknownst to me, he and Patty had
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: begun talking romantically.
• 11:10
  Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. The audacity.
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: He admitted it to me after he had been drinking
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: one night, saying that Patty didn't want me to know,
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: so I waited about three months for her to fess
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: up to the big news. I have zero romantic feelings
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: for Mark. And Patty was well aware of that. So
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: for her to withhold her romance was really odd. By
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: the way, this comes from Can't Use My Real User.
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: And if you want to submit your own stories, go
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: I'm Riley.
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: And we're here to give some good advice, goofily. But
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: guess what? We don't know everything. Surprisingly. But we're going
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: to tell you what we would do. You tell us
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: what you would do in the comments. As OP says,
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: over the summer, Mark took a different job in another state,
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: a bit closer to Patty. I also got another job
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: in our alma mater state, but three hours from Patty.
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: They started a relationship sometime this past summer. Once they
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: got into a relationship, Mark more or less stopped talking
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: to me.
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: Wonder why.
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: Which I understood. Honeymoon phase and all that. They attempted
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: a long-distance relationship. Patty ultimately ended it in October due
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: to his neediness, booze intake, and lying. Oh! I was
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: gonna say, you've mentioned that he's, you know, been drinking
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: twice now and has, like, told you things. And it's like,
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: does he drink a lot?
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: Sounds like it.
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 12:40
  Speaker 4: What's wrong with drinking with a lot?
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: Um.
• 12:44
  Speaker 4: Huh? A lot of things.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: What?
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: A lot, actually. They continued to talk after the breakup
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: because Patty felt it would help Mark cope with the
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: suddenness of the breakup. Mark took that to mean that
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: she was still interested in him. And yesterday, she officially
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: ended it with him and made it clear that she
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: had no intentions of getting back with him. So I
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: drove the three hours and showed up at her house
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: unannounced with wine and movies just to get her mind
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: off things. Today, I received a text from my best
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: friend's now ex-boyfriend, Mark... whom I talked to on occasion,
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: saying that he had something he felt he needed to
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: share with me, but that I could not tell Patty
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: that he had said anything.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: So he's not a good friend. I would be like, actually,
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: don't tell me, because I don't want to know.
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: Yep, done. Could not care.
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: I trust my friend more than you, liar. He told
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: me that my relationship with Patty was one-sided and that
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: he recommended I be extremely careful with her because she
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: is fake.
• 13:41
  Speaker 4: What do you mean by that? What do you mean
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: by that? Give me an example. How is it one-sided?
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean, if OP just talks to her, like
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: always starts the conversations and OP always visits her, always
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: does stuff for her, then yeah, it is one-sided. But
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: that hasn't been mentioned at all yet. So I don't know.
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: Since they had just had a falling out, I assumed
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: he was trying to manipulate me and brushed off what
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: I thought was a ridiculous accusation. He proceeded to send
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: me screenshots of conversations between the two of them dating
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: back two and three months, where she was talking to
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: him about how much I have changed since we graduated
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: from college. In one of them, she wrote, maybe I
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: just care too much, but she's not the same person
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: she was, and I feel like I don't even know her.
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: I don't know how to explain it. She's really promiscuous now,
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: and is an attention witch, especially when we go out,
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: and it's really annoying. She's just not genuine anymore. She's
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: really fake around other people. Oh. Oh.
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: Yikes.
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: That sounds like you're really fake with other people. Because
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: you're just talking all this crap behind her back.
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: This is true. Hmm.
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: Followed very closely by a text that stated that it
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: was at the point that she didn't want to be
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: friends with me anymore. Mark said that he knows the
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: timing of him telling me this is screwy because it
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: looks like he is trying to ruin a friendship, but
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: that he genuinely felt like I should know. I've had
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: so many emotions come and go today that I am
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: just numb.
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: I feel.
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: Feel so betrayed and hurt. She has been my closest
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: confidant and the one person I felt I could tell
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: anything to. No! I am trying so hard to see
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: it from her perspective. Yes, from college to now, I
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: have changed substantially. Everyone does. I'm different from when I
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: was in college. I'm different from when I was in
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: high school. I'm different from where I was, you know,
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: last month. Like, everyone just changes.
• 15:43
  Speaker 4: They've been dating for six years, too.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: Six years?
• 15:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what it says in the title. Like the
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: ex and the friend. Best friend.
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: Dated for six years? Yep.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: Dang.
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: It says here in the title. They just broke up.
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: My 24 female supposedly best friend 24 female of six years.
• 16:06
  Speaker 4: Never mind. Best friend of six years. They've been best
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: friends for six years.
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: Sorry. I was like, that doesn't add up with the
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: timeline that they just went over.
• 16:12
  Speaker 4: Sorry. They've been best friends for six years. Okay.
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: I moved across the country for my first job out
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: of college. Proceeded to lose my virginity this past year
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: to a man I absolutely loved and adored. Okay, okay.
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: And since then, I have become more confident with myself
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: and comfortable with my spicy proclivity.
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: This is what it sounds like. OP has gotten more
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: confidence and the friend... Okay, let me write this out.
• 16:37
  Speaker 4: So whenever they were just best friends, OP's confidence was
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: here and best friend's confidence was here. Now, with time...
• 16:44
  Speaker 4: OP's confidence is here and Best Friend's confidence is probably
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: still the same. And it's really hard for Best Friend
• 16:50
  Speaker 4: because she's probably had to cut out a lot in
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: her life for her boyfriend.
• 16:54
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: And she doesn't know what to do with that.
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: Now, my number is four, all of whom have been
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: men that I had feelings for or were emotionally connected with.
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: I dress in a more feminine manner when I go out.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: And true, some shirts slash dresses are far more revealing
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: than I would have ever worn when I was in college.
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: but they are tasteful and make me feel good about myself. Yeah,
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: who cares? I refuse to accept her accusations of being
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: a fake person because I pride myself on being honest
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: with everyone. Patty and I have gone out together one
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: time since I have moved back to the state. I
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: wore jeans and a sweater because it was a themed crawl.
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: I danced provocatively with one guy throughout the entire night.
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: Not uncommon for our outings. Spent most of my time
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: with her and genuinely thought that we had a good
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: time together. I don't believe that I did any attention-seeking
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: actions because I remembered the entire night. I cannot for
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: the life of me understand where this came from. Or
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: I do know that she has felt this way since November.
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: And I do know that she has faked our friendship
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: for the past few months. And now I know that
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: she talks negatively about me behind my back. This is
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: not something that I can simply let go, despite what
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: Mark has asked me to do. At this point, I
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: do not see a reason to have someone like this
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: in my life, despite our years of history together. So
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: my question is, Is there a way for me to
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: confront her about this without sending her the screenshots? Because
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: all I really want to do is send them to
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: her and say, I guess I'm not the only one
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: who has changed since we graduated. There's an update. I
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: am overwhelmed with how many people have responded to this.
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: This has meant so much to me and so many
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: of your comments have helped me to keep a level
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: head while I worked through this situation. She actually texted
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: me and called me multiple times the following day, to
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: which I did not respond. I ended up texting her
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: and sending the screenshots that evening.
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. OP, you're toxic. That's crazy.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: Asking for an explanation of the conversation that was in
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: the pictures and whether or not any of it was true. Ultimately,
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: I gave her the benefit of the doubt Mark was
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: in a bad place, and though the text sounded like her,
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: he easily could have faked them. She said that it was,
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: in fact, true. She had said all of those things
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: and thought that I had changed substantially within the past
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: two years. My changes have made her uncomfortable, but she
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: felt it wasn't something to discuss with me.
• 19:19
  Speaker 4: Interesting.
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: She claims that she said it all out of anger
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: and meant none of it, but I am of the
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: opinion that you always say what you mean. While angry,
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: you might say it less delicately than intended, but you
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: still say what you mean. I am not sure that
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: I could ever trust her again following that text string.
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: though I recognize that it was never meant for me
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: to see, how do I come back from that? Like, yes,
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: let's go out and have a good time, but do
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: I have to worry about you talking badly about me afterwards?
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: I choose to have people around me that I trust
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: and that was a true breach of.
• 19:53
  Speaker 4: Trust it takes time it'll take time for you guys
• 19:56
  Speaker 4: to be friends again hey.
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: Maybe you won't because sometimes friendships grow apart I mean
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: I've I had friends in college that you know we
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: just drifted apart you just do I've had friends in
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: high school, you just drift apart. That's just how life is.
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: You have, I've noticed this. You go through different stages
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: in your life.
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: Seasons.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: It's the seasons. And right now I'm still, I feel
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: like I'm in a very new season. I'm still trying
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: to like figure out how everything fits and where everything's
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: going to go and how to like find a routine
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: within this madness. But you know, you figure it out
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: and then you also along the way, You know, figure
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: out who your real friends are. Who your people are.
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: Finding your people, ugh, the best thing ever.
• 20:42
  Speaker 4: This is wild. I would give it time. It doesn't
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: sound like you guys can't come back from this.
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 20:49
  Speaker 4: Just a little distance is okay. A little information diet.
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: I mean, Kimberly Fine just said her and her friend
• 20:55
  Speaker 4: went through the same thing. A commenter here. And they
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: were fine after a while because she realized, oh, she
• 21:01
  Speaker 4: was in a relationship. She couldn't really have a straight...
• 21:05
  Speaker 4: mind with everything that was going on.
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: That was i had to do that with my friend
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: i like tried to stop talking to her because she
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: was in this toxic horrible relationship from like eighth grade
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: to like sophomore junior year of high school and it
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: was horrible golly and she like literally was losing all
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: her friends she was going insane i was like dude
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: you gotta like chill and he would like cheat on
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: her all the time it was oh god anyway let's
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: finish this up Many of you brought up the point
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: that we all say things or judge our friends' actions,
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: which is true, and I will admit to having done so.
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: But I have never in my life thought about not
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: wanting to be someone's friend unless I meant it. much
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: less said it to someone else. But I digress. She
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: then continued on to say that she could not fix
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: the situation between us and that she never meant for
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: me to find out, which truly just sits with me
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: the wrong way. Because A, she never even asked what
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: could be done to fix it and B, that's not
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: an apology. It's true. So it seems our relationship has ended.
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: As for Mark, well, that pathetic excuse of a human
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: is no longer of my concern. I have gladly cut
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: contact with no explanation despite his multiple texts. Thank you
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: all so very, very much for bringing different viewpoints to
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: my situation. You helped me remain calm and understanding when
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: I felt like boiling over. Much love to all of
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: my internet strangers.
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: Aww.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: That's all.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: go on to the next one.
• 22:33
  Speaker 6: My friend is suddenly flirting with me after she got
• 22:37
  Speaker 6: rejected by someone else. Rebound. I, 31 male, have known Nicole,
• 22:43
  Speaker 6: 25 female, for about two years via married friends of mine.
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: We are all part of a friend group of about
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: seven to eight people that meet up pretty regularly. About
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: six months ago, the married couple introduced to everyone their
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: friend Kyle for what turned out to be the worst
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: kept secret within the friend group, setting him up with Nicole. Ugh.
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: Their plan to set up Kyle worked, only it was
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: to somebody else and not Nicole.
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: Another friend of the married couple, who I barely know,
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: Kyle and his girlfriend became official about a month ago.
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: Nicole was really into this guy and she took the
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: news hard, even though to the best of my knowledge,
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: Kyle never really showed much interest in her beyond just
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: being friends. Ever since Kyle has been off the market,
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: Nicole has been suddenly showing a lot of interest in me.
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: But I can't help but think it's either to make
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: Kyle jealous or that I'm her plan B or both.
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: In the two years I've known her, she's never been
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: this way with me. She's taken more of an interest
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: in my life and her banter has been much more flirtatious.
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: She sat on my lap and was playfully talking with
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: me during a friend's birthday party in which we were
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: all drinking. If not for a timely intervention by a
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: waiter with a question about the check, I think she
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: would have tried to kiss me, and truth be told,
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: I probably wouldn't have resisted.
• 24:00
  Speaker 4: Uh-oh. You have feelings. Or do you just have feelings
• 24:04
  Speaker 4: when drinks are there?
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think so. I don't know.
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: I've never been, what's the word, apprehended?
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: Inebriated.
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: There we go.
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: Never been inebriated.
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: I was like, every....
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: I have been apprehended before.
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from DodgersFan1987, and if you
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: slash ok story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: I'm Riley.
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: And we're here to talk about some stuff, give you
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: some goofy advice, but we don't have all the answers.
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: We only tell you what we would do, but you
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: should let us know what you would do down in
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: the comments.
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: I've never been inebriated. Do drinks really make you fall
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: for someone that's probably not who you're attracted to?
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: Um, really depends. Like it depends how inebriated you get,
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: I guess. But I don't know. Usually if I don't
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: have them when I'm sober, I'm not going to have
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: them when I'm not.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: But sometimes it does switch. Yeah, I could say sometimes
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: it does switch. You like don't see them in that way.
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: And then all of a sudden you're like, wait, this
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: could kind of work. Maybe. Just really depends. As Opie says,
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: she's given me brief massages. Okay. She knows I like baseball.
• 25:18
  Speaker 4: Dodgers fan.
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: So she invited me to a game this weekend for
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: just the two of us. We have never really hung
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: out alone before. Yeah, that seems like a date.
• 25:29
  Speaker 4: Dude, just go on the date. See how you feel
• 25:31
  Speaker 4: about it.
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: I legitimately have a prior commitment. So I basically said
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: maybe next time, but I'm unsure more than anything where
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: to go from here. Oh, I'm not going to lie.
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: I don't necessarily mind this attention. And independent of Nicole's
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: recent interest in Kyle, I probably would pursue something here.
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: I'm just not sure it's on the level.
• 25:52
  Speaker 4: It doesn't sound like you like it. You sound like
• 25:55
  Speaker 4: a maybe, dude.
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it seems like you've never really looked at her
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: like that. And now that she... You saw that her
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: heart kind of got broken by this guy.
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: And now.
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: You see this as a rebound. I could see everything
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: that you're saying, OP. But also, if you have feelings,
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: why not go for it? Furthermore, Nicole is more entrenched
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: in this friend group than I am. So if I
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: did pursue something with her and it didn't work out,
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: things would get awkward and I probably would have to
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: distance myself from everybody. And I like these particular group
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: of friends. Any advice?
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: Mmm.
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: I mean, you gotta go with the flow, I guess.
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: Nah.
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: See if you like it.
• 26:36
  Speaker 4: I say... Don't go on a date. Just stay friends.
• 26:41
  Speaker 4: Just stay friends. This doesn't seem like an absolute yes.
• 26:44
  Speaker 4: It's like when you go shopping for clothes. If you
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: don't absolutely love it, don't buy it.
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: It's true. Yeah, I agree. Here's an update. So after
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: taking into consideration the comments from the original post, I
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: initially decided to not pursue anything with Nicole.
• 26:57
  Speaker 4: There we go.
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: As I had stated, she had suddenly become flirtatious with
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: me and started inviting me to places alone immediately after
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: the guy she was interested in got a girlfriend. I
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: was concerned about a rebound situation and that wasn't the
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: only factor involved. I decided I would lay low and
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: not encourage her, for lack of a better word. What's
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: funny though is that after I turned down her invitation
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: to a baseball game, she had stopped that behavior in
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: our interactions and had become normal again.
• 27:25
  Speaker 4: Interesting. Oh.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: What?
• 27:26
  Speaker 4: What? You confuse me, OP. I don't like you.
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: I had suggested we get on the Ferris wheel before
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: meeting back up with the others. You can probably guess
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: where this is heading. I know I was reluctant about
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: doing anything with Nicole for several reasons, but at that moment,
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: it was like, F it. When we reached the top
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: of the Ferris wheel, we kissed. Wow, romantic. We had
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: all left soon after. We both played it cool as
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: if nothing happened. I texted her the next day about
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: meeting up for dinner, which was last night. At one point,
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: the conversation steered towards Kyle. She admitted she was interested
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: in him, but it became clear to her that despite
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: our friends trying to set them up, she was into
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: this other girl. She said more than anything, she was
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: down on herself because she's only ever had one serious
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: boyfriend and Kyle was in essence another rejection because he
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: never made any moves or asked her out.
• 28:51
  Speaker 4: So you just had to get to know her a bit?
• 28:53
  Speaker 4: How are you not attracted to her already?
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: That's how relationships go. You just don't know. Sometimes it
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: is very quick. It's like, oh, huge attraction for this person.
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: I want them.
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: The second I saw my girlfriend, I was attracted to her.
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: And there were three girls. It was two of her
• 29:09
  Speaker 4: best friends and her. And I was like, I hope
• 29:12
  Speaker 4: I get the pretty one. And I did.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: I hope I get the pretty one. She revealed that
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: she always liked me, but that the timing was never right,
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: and after a while, it seemed like we were friend-zoned.
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: I failed to mention in the original post that when
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: I met Nicole two years ago, I had a girlfriend,
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: and that relationship lasted another seven to eight months. Nicole
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: had dated others during the last year, whereas I had
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: mostly taken a break and focused on other things. Hence
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: the timing issue. I don't know where this will end up.
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: We had a fun day at the park, and dinner
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: last night was great. I was concerned I was the
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: backup option, and who knows, maybe I am. But I've
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: decided it's worth a longer look. I do think she
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: is beautiful and quirky and somewhat awkward, but in an
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: endearing way. She reminds me of Holly Flax from The Office.
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: You only live once, right?
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: And that's true.
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: You do. Maybe. I don't know.
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: go on to the next one.
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: I exposed my friend's girlfriend's lies because she refused to
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: leave me alone.
• 30:11
  Speaker 4: Good on you.
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: University is starting back soon, so many of my friends
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: started moving back to town. I, 20 female, live in
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: a house with five friends. Small background, which is relevant.
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: I wasn't born in the UK, but moved here with
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: my parents when I was 17. We come from another
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: European country, so I speak my native language, English, which
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: is far from perfect. I've been learning Spanish and English
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: since I was little, and my Spanish is better than
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: my English. I don't have an obvious accent in English.
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: People just assume that I am Canadian. We had a
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: small party on Saturday, and one friend brought his new girlfriend, Jess.
• 30:47
  Speaker 5: Oh.
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: Jess, female, early 20s, and she's the reason why I
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: am posting here.
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: Woo! Jess made sure to let everyone know that she's
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: a polyglot and speaks multiple languages.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: Hold up.
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: Wait a minute.
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: I didn't know that's what a polyglot?
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: A person who speaks or uses several languages. I don't
• 31:08
  Speaker 4: know if I like that word.
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, polyglot sounds weird. I was obviously impressed. I study
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: modern languages, meaning that I'm learning Italian and German on
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: top of Spanish. And obviously, I asked what languages she speaks. Spanish, Japanese, Arabic,
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: my native language, German, Korean, and French. I told her
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: how impressed I was and carried on with my evening.
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from PinkCloud112, and if you
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 31:36
  Speaker 4: I'm Riley.
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: And we're here to give some good advice goofily, but
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: guess what? We don't have all the answers. We would
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: only tell you what we would do, but let us
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: know what you would do down in the comments. Why not?
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: Let's discuss. As Opie says, I had a short phone
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: call with my mom, whom I obviously speak to in
• 31:52
  Speaker 3: my native tongue, and I went out of the house
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: to talk to her. Jess was out in the garden
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: and heard my conversation and she corrected me on my pronunciation.
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: What?
• 32:03
  Speaker 4: What?
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: No. Oh, I immediately would be so annoyed.
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: If I say y'all and you tell me I'm supposed
• 32:10
  Speaker 4: to say you guys, I'm going after you. That ain't
• 32:13
  Speaker 4: how you talk.
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: That ain't how you do it. I told her that
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: she was in the wrong and she insisted that she
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: knows better. I didn't fancy getting into any arguments, so
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: I ignored her and went back inside saying whatever. Later,
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: I bumped my head and swore loudly in Spanish. I
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: tend to code switch a lot when wasted. And she
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: corrected my pronunciation, which was funny because it was her
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: who was incorrect. I ignored her again. Not her like
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: being like, actually, you're not saying that right. Actually, that's
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: not right.
• 32:43
  Speaker 4: It's pronounced not pooter. Pooter.
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: A while later, I wanted my friend, who is from Spain,
• 32:52
  Speaker 3: to hand me something, but I forgot how it's called
• 32:54
  Speaker 3: in English, so I said hand me Spanish word, please,
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: knowing my friend would understand. Jess decided to correct me
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: again using completely incorrect word. My friend and I looked
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: at each other, and me being wasted, I lost any
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: self-control I had.
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: Oh no.
• 33:10
  Speaker 3: I spoke to Jess in Spanish, asking her what the
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: heck she thinks she's doing. And she looked at me,
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: telling me that my Spanish was so wrong that she
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: didn't understand a word. It wasn't. It wasn't, but okay.
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: So this girl obviously doesn't know.
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: Your Spanish sounds a lot like wrong English.
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Like, uh, that's not the correct Spanish word. Shut up.
• 33:35
  Speaker 4: That's crazy.
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: I told her the same thing in my native tongue,
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: to which she replied with the same thing. I laughed
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: at her and told her it's my native language and
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: she really shouldn't lie about being a polyglot and correcting
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: people when she doesn't actually speak those languages. She was fuming.
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: She tried to grab her boyfriend's hand and leave with him,
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: but he was too wasted to care and just said,
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: told you to stop lying. Dang, now the boyfriend calling
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: her out too.
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: Dang.
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: Dang.
• 34:03
  Speaker 4: What do you get out of this? Why do you
• 34:04
  Speaker 4: like to lie?
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: I would never lie that I knew a language because
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: I know immediately people are going to quiz me.
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: Like that, it's immediate.
• 34:12
  Speaker 4: How do you say the spider went into the library room?
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: The library room. I don't know how she got my number,
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: but she called me this morning screaming what an a-hole
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: I am to humiliate her like that. And if she
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: knew I spoke the language, she wouldn't have corrected me.
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: I do feel bad now. I realize how humiliating this
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: must have been for her, but on the other hand,
• 34:33
  Speaker 3: she shouldn't have been lying! I don't know, was I
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: the a-hole here? OP added in the comments, That's the thing,
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: she didn't understand me. She only replied to me because
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: she had no idea what I said. With corrections, she
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: only picked up on a few words and tried to
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: correct them, wrongly. She may be learning languages and be
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: a super beginner, but she doesn't speak any of those languages,
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: which was later confirmed by her boyfriend. Apparently, she never
• 34:59
  Speaker 3: goes past learning the alphabet and a few lessons.
• 35:03
  Speaker 4: Oh.
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: So you don't know. I know the alphabet. I can
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: spell some stuff. Maybe. Probably not. Oh, and that's it.
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: That's all.
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 35:11
  Speaker 4: That's crazy, dude. The audacity.
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: No, seriously. Like, how are you about to, like, correct
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: me when you don't even know? And then correct me
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: and tell me something wrong. Like, shut up. Why does
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: it even matter?
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of the story. We're going to
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: go on to the next one.
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: Hey, it's Keon, the silliest goose. We're going to get
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: from our sponsors. My girlfriend has been sharing everything about
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: us to her friend. Even the intimate ones.
• 35:38
  Speaker 3: Hate to break it to you, but that's what we do.
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: Sharing is not caring. This is something that has appeared
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: out of the blue. And I'm 25 male, not fully
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: equipped to deal with at all. It's completely changed how
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: I view our relationship over the past year. So, to
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: cut to the chase... I ended up reading some text
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: between my girlfriend, 25 female, and her friend, 26 female.
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: Let's call her Nami. Because at a party, Nami made
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: a suggestive comment to me about butt stuff and how
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: all men should try it the day after my girlfriend
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: finally convinced me to. In my defense, I just wanted
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: to know if they were talking about it because this
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: was not something I felt comfortable to have discussed outside
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: our bedroom. Nami is an ex-girlfriend of my college roommate
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: and is dating someone else I don't interact with now.
• 36:23
  Speaker 4: So.
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: My girlfriend, let's say Tanya, has been discussing everything with Nami.
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: They texted almost about nothing else and scrolled so far
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: back in time that I exported the contents of their
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: conversation to read on my computer. That's a little much.
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: Computer!
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: Computer! How do butt stuff? The conversations are tough to
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: wrap my head around. It would be something like, what
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: should I wear? Wear the red dress. Nami would tell
• 36:50
  Speaker 2: Tanya what to wear for dates and what to shop for.
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: Tell her how to respond to any arguments we had.
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: And also how to perform in bed. The time she
• 36:57
  Speaker 2: cosplayed in bed? Nami says. Naughty photos she sent me?
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: Nami says. The personalized gift she made for my birthday?
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: Nami says. Preparing me for months apparently? For butt stuff?
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: Nami said it. So you get the picture. It's like
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: a daily routine. By the way, this comes from user ExposedThrowaway.
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: If you want to submit your own stories... go to
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Keon.
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: And I'm Savannah.
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: And we're here to talk about butt stuff and how
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: to do it.
• 37:27
  Speaker 3: Kind of true. Yeah.
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: We don't know much. We only know what we do.
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: So let us know what you do in the comments
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: down below.
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: Let us know your butt stuff.
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: As Opie says, I don't know what they've shared beyond
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: textual information, but this is everything she's said and done
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: to me for the past year. And it seems to
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: have just started a year ago. This lady apparently now
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: knows how I eat, sleep, and how I am in
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: spicy sleep. This is not something I can send it
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: to a man. I'm not naive, and it seems to
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: me like almost they've got some subtle dom-sub thing going on.
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: There seems to be no evidence of physically cheating on me,
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: and I really doubt she would do something like that,
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: but I hope you understand that I don't trust anything
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: around me anymore. So, I need to confront my girlfriend,
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: but like, how?
• 38:12
  Speaker 3: What?
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: Is this relationship ending stuff?
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: I mean, it was all fine until literally three hours ago,
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: and I'm extremely happy with her, but what might continue?
• 38:22
  Speaker 4: But what?
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: How do you react to something like this? Please, I
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: just need to bounce this off people. I know it's
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: super specific and super identifiable, but neither of them are
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: on Reddit, so I guess it's okay. Them finding something
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: like this later, I'm not concerned with. I need advice, please.
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: And we have an update. Yeah, you have to confront
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: your girlfriend and be like, Why is your life controlled
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: by Nami?
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: I mean, the thing is, you said, I'm not, I'm
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: just going to throw this out there. You said, OP,
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: that everything was fine until you found this out. So
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: everything that she did, you liked.
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: Hey, did you like the stuff that Nami really insisted on?
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: Or technically your girlfriend insisted on?
• 39:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like is, you know, you agreed to those things,
• 39:16
  Speaker 3: not knowing that it came from someone else, but you
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: still did it. And it, you know, did it bring
• 39:20
  Speaker 3: you guys closer? Did it help? Did it hurt your relationship?
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: It doesn't seem like it hurt your relationship. The only
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: thing that's hurting it is that she didn't come up
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: with all of those ideas. She got them from someone else.
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: So is that truly a bad thing if it's helping
• 39:33
  Speaker 3: your relationship?
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: I don't know. There's some things that shouldn't be talked
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: about just like between a relationship.
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: But that also depends on the relationship of people. Because
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: some people are just open books. I'm very open. I'm
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: more of an open book. But some people are closed
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: books and that's should be something discussed between you and
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: your partner.
• 39:52
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: I also... Like, you can have that conversation and be like,
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: I don't really feel comfortable that you're speaking about, like,
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: intimate stuff with someone else. Even though they're, you know,
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: the opposite gender, she's your best friend, whatever, blah, blah, blah.
• 40:05
  Speaker 3: That seems like a little.
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: That's for us. That's, like, our privacy. For me, at least.
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: Or for OP. Yeah. I don't know. At this point,
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: I'd be like, am I dating you or am I
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: dating Nami?
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: It's kind of true.
• 40:16
  Speaker 4: So.
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: But... Not everything needs to be said.
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: Update.
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: So, I was off the hook for checking Tanya's phone
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: very easily to my relief, but to the displeasure of
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: many of you, I know, because she burst into tears
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: right then and there. She took a little time to
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: sob while I just sat there saying, I just wanted
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: to know what's going on because my imagination was getting
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: the better of me, and for what it's worth, she
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: came clean completely. So Tanya's version is that it initially
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: just started to ask for stuff and spicy sleep tips, etc.
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: etc.
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: But eventually, they started trying to fix the problem with
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: her inhibitions. For this, Nami would give her some risque
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: dare for Tanya to complete. It seemed like fun stuff
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: at the start, you know, singing in the streets, striking
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: conversations with strangers. What made me angry at Tanya is
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: her complicity with the spicy pics. In my head, these
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: were coming straight to me, but they were going through Nami.
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: who would direct her and then pick and choose. She
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: stopped sending them to her when Nami began to make
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: her feel, you know, a little bit uncomfortable about it.
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: Tanya's point to me at this point was that this
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: did lower her inhibition significantly, but the only response when
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: this conversation happened was, what the F, Tanya? Which I
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: believe was a fair opinion. She said she found it
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: quite easy whenever she was feeling indecisive to get Nami
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: in on it and do whatever she said. I was
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: appalled at how casually she spoke about that. reminding her
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: that it was my personal life she was also sharing,
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: and that this was unacceptable from someone I considered closest
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: to me. How could I trust you anymore, Tanya? So
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: I did put down an ultimatum. No more talking to Nami. Period.
• 41:54
  Speaker 3: Ooh. I don't... Yikes. I mean, I don't know. I don't...
• 42:03
  Speaker 3: I personally didn't find it, like, you know, breakup-worthy that
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: you know, she's telling her to do these things and
• 42:11
  Speaker 3: coming to her for advice and whatnot. You know, it's
• 42:14
  Speaker 3: done good for your relationship. So, like, not that you
• 42:17
  Speaker 3: need an outside source, but, you know, you can say, hey,
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: you know, you can come to me for advice or whatever.
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: You can talk to me about our problems instead of that. Like,
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: you know, yes.
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know. This is her best friend.
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry. I don't think... I mean, I would talk
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: to Tanya and be like, why... why do you need
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: to go to Nami for, like, getting confirmations on, like,
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: everything you do? And why has it been this last year?
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: I know, like, doing the risky stuff and the dares
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: is fun stuff, but then it got to a point of,
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: why are you doing this? Did you ever question that?
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: I wouldn't give her that ultimatum of, it's either me
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: or Nami.
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I wouldn't give her that either. I don't think
• 42:59
  Speaker 3: that's a great idea.
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: I don't think that's a great idea either.
• 43:01
  Speaker 3: Because she's going to freak.
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: And Obi continues saying, for now, maybe later it could
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: be no more talking to Nami about Us? She goes
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: ahead with it, and a few days later, I get
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: a call from Nami. Nami emails me all the photos
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: that Tanya had sent her, and then basically goes all
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: banshee on the phone. Calls me a witch, and some
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: other things. That Tanya was her nympho from day one. Whoa!
• 43:26
  Speaker 3: This has now turned into something else!
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: Straight Up starts sending links to pictures from the Fifty
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: Shades Club website. For clarity, not pictures of Tanya on websites,
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: just random pictures, lol, saying that this is the stuff
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: she did to her. But you see Tanya had already
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: shown me all the photos that Nami was claiming she
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: took during their colorful times together. Nami strangely didn't have
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: any photos of the stuff she was claiming, which I
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: think she would definitely have done considering how effed this
• 43:54
  Speaker 2: all was. So, I don't know. Nami's reveal as being
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: absolutely effing cray-cray sort of softened my stance on Tanya, but...
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: I've still taken a break from our relationship because there
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: was far too much bat crap crazy going on. Had
• 44:09
  Speaker 2: to threaten legal actions against the Nami's tirades about leaking
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: the pictures. It also helped that Tanya and I added
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: that we really didn't care if that came to pass.
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: Thanks for lowering in emissions, Nami.
• 44:21
  Speaker 3: That's insane. So this didn't, this isn't just about your relationship.
• 44:26
  Speaker 3: This has become like a weird partnership.
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: Of, And OP kind of called it earlier. She's like,
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: I think it's kind of like a little dom, sub
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: kind of thing.
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, dom something. And it totally was.
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: Ah! That's weird.
• 44:39
  Speaker 3: And you were just like part of the scheme?
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: You were part. Nami was, yeah, I don't even get
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: into it.
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: Well, that's the end of that story. And there's a
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: lot going on.
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: Dang.
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like just take a couple steps back
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: from all of that, OP, and Kind of just gather
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: your thoughts. I would also try and talk to Tanya
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: and be like, hey, that was a lot. And maybe
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: talk to someone about that because how do we get
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: here in the first place kind of thing.
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: See, I'd be done with both of them. I'd be like, yeah, no,
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: this is way too much. And there's no trust after that, truthfully.
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, honestly, anything that you say, you know, yeah.
• 45:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: Oof. That is the end of that story, but we
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: have another one coming right up.
• 45:27
  Speaker 3: I discovered my girlfriend cheating on me with multiple men,
• 45:31
  Speaker 3: so I quickly plotted my exit.
• 45:33
  Speaker 2: Do it very quickly.
• 45:34
  Speaker 3: My girlfriend, 26 female, and I, 26 male, have been
• 45:37
  Speaker 3: together for only five months, and prior to this week,
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: I thought everything was perfect. We made each other happy,
• 45:45
  Speaker 3: spent most of our free time together, and stayed the
• 45:47
  Speaker 3: night at one another's home at least three nights each week.
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: We have a lot in common and enjoy similar activities,
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: so getting along was easy. We've both been cheated on
• 45:57
  Speaker 3: in the past and I've made it explicitly clear that
• 45:59
  Speaker 3: I don't want to be with anyone who could do
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: that to someone and that I would never put myself
• 46:03
  Speaker 3: in a position where that would occur because I know
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: what it feels like. After about four months into this relationship,
• 46:09
  Speaker 3: she told me she loved me and that she's never
• 46:11
  Speaker 3: felt this way about anyone before. That she had been
• 46:14
  Speaker 3: hurt bad in the past and had never intended to
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: get into another relationship again because she was so jaded.
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: It took me a few more weeks to tell her
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: I love her. She has always had a lot of
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: male friends and... Early on, we each talked about our past.
• 46:28
  Speaker 3: We've both been with a lot of people, spicy sleep related,
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: so I never felt any jealousy or contempt for her.
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: She claimed that she gets along better with guys than
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: girls and has been somewhat of a tomboy since she
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: was a child. Not a problem, I trusted her. By
• 46:44
  Speaker 3: the way, this comes from CaughtHerCheating, and if you want
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash
• 46:48
  Speaker 3: ok story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 46:50
  Speaker 2: I'm Keon.
• 46:51
  Speaker 3: And we're here to give some good advice in a
• 46:53
  Speaker 3: little goofy way, but guess what? We don't have all
• 46:55
  Speaker 3: the answers. We only tell you what we would do,
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: but let us know what you would do down in
• 46:58
  Speaker 3: the comments. As OP says, even though everything seemed like
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: it was going fantastically, there were occasional red flags that
• 47:06
  Speaker 3: would give me a bad gut feeling. I chose to
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: ignore those because I thought they were just my own
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: insecurities creeping out. A few examples of the red flags.
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: In the five months we've been together, she has told
• 47:17
  Speaker 3: me about no fewer than ten male friends of hers
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: that have miraculously come out of the woodwork and contacted
• 47:23
  Speaker 3: her after years of not hearing from them. There were
• 47:25
  Speaker 3: minor inconsistencies with her stories of past times or descriptions
• 47:29
  Speaker 3: of these friends and their prior relationships. When we were
• 47:33
  Speaker 3: around her family, I noticed that they tend to watch
• 47:35
  Speaker 3: her rather carefully. Her parents' and sisters' facial expressions would
• 47:39
  Speaker 3: seem slightly incredulous and at other times downright skeptical of
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: whatever it was she was saying. talking about plans, schedules,
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: or what happened last night or last weekend, etc. She
• 47:50
  Speaker 3: talks a lot and tends to divulge more information than
• 47:52
  Speaker 3: necessary on a lot of topics and would go to
• 47:55
  Speaker 3: great lengths to ensure me that some of these men
• 47:57
  Speaker 3: from her past were interested in her, but she did
• 47:59
  Speaker 3: not share that feeling, that she was not attracted to
• 48:02
  Speaker 3: them in any way, or that they haven't spoken or
• 48:05
  Speaker 3: seen one another in years. More on this later. Her
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: family has shown me nothing but kindness and welcomed me
• 48:10
  Speaker 3: into their home as one of their own since I
• 48:12
  Speaker 3: first met them. I have a great relationship with her
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: father and he's even taken me aside a few times
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: to ask me how things are going and if there's
• 48:20
  Speaker 3: anything that seems off. He seems to really want us
• 48:23
  Speaker 3: to succeed. We've only had one fight since being together
• 48:26
  Speaker 3: and it occurred a few weeks ago when she asked
• 48:28
  Speaker 3: me if I would be uncomfortable with her going on
• 48:30
  Speaker 3: a three day long fishing trip with a few of
• 48:32
  Speaker 3: her friends from fire school. I told her the truth
• 48:35
  Speaker 3: that yes, it would make me uncomfortable for her to
• 48:37
  Speaker 3: go on a trip like that with a group of
• 48:39
  Speaker 3: people that I've never met before and that's when the
• 48:42
  Speaker 3: fight started. Things calmed down shortly after, and she said
• 48:45
  Speaker 3: she understood, but also noted that it would be hard
• 48:48
  Speaker 3: to continue a relationship if I could not trust her. Oh, God.
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: I like how she asked, would it be okay if
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: I did this? And then you said, no. And then
• 48:56
  Speaker 2: she blew that up. She said, that wasn't the answer
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: I was wanting.
• 49:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and then she went, I'll remember this. This house
• 49:05
  Speaker 3: is built on trust and trust alone. Earlier this week,
• 49:08
  Speaker 3: while we were at our house cooking dinner, she asked
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: me to go up to her room and get a
• 49:12
  Speaker 3: movie queued up on her computer. While waiting for the
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: website to load, I decided to check my email. I
• 49:18
  Speaker 3: loaded Gmail, then went back to the movie site. to
• 49:20
  Speaker 3: pick something out when i switched back to the gmail
• 49:22
  Speaker 3: tab i saw her inbox pop up and went to
• 49:24
  Speaker 3: log her out but noticed that there were a few
• 49:26
  Speaker 3: emails towards the top that caught my attention and severely
• 49:30
  Speaker 3: worried me i sat there for a few minutes looking
• 49:33
  Speaker 3: at the subject lines and i had to know more
• 49:36
  Speaker 3: The three offending emails that caught my eye were as follows. Oh, God.
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: A flight confirmation going out of state purchased and forwarded
• 49:43
  Speaker 3: to her by a guy, one of the friends she
• 49:46
  Speaker 3: hasn't seen in years, for a weekend trip that was
• 49:48
  Speaker 3: bought the day before her flight, which happened to be
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: the day that I left for a weekend mountain biking
• 49:54
  Speaker 3: trip with two friends. An email from another male friend
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: she told me about where they discussed plans for her
• 50:01
  Speaker 3: to fly out to see him sometime in August. Further
• 50:04
  Speaker 3: down in the email chain, she had sent him a
• 50:06
  Speaker 3: few screenshots of potential flights in the coming weeks, asking
• 50:09
  Speaker 3: which one was best. She had signed off with the
• 50:11
  Speaker 3: email with, I love you.
• 50:14
  Speaker 5: A Craigslist confirmation email for a missed connection post she
• 50:19
  Speaker 5: created earlier that day, seeking what she described as a tall,
• 50:22
  Speaker 5: extremely hot guy she saw during her lunch.
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: Break that day. Is that a thing?
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: It's a thing.
• 50:29
  Speaker 3: A missed connection on Craigslist? That's crazy.
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: What?
• 50:35
  Speaker 3: At this point, I was crushed. This was the girl
• 50:38
  Speaker 3: who told me she loved me on a daily basis
• 50:40
  Speaker 3: and consistently reminded me how happy I made her. We
• 50:43
  Speaker 3: shared the same bed together and talked about future plans,
• 50:45
  Speaker 3: but this time I thought it was genuinely real.
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: Oh, man, Opie, I feel so bad for you.
• 50:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that sucks. Ugh. That's what I hate. Like, I
• 50:54
  Speaker 3: hate dating people. like going out into the dating world,
• 50:57
  Speaker 3: it's freaking sucks because you want to have your guard up,
• 51:00
  Speaker 3: but then it's also like, well, maybe that's my past drama.
• 51:03
  Speaker 3: And then it's like, okay, I'm going to, you know,
• 51:06
  Speaker 3: open up and then you get freaking crushed. It's like,
• 51:09
  Speaker 3: all right.
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: And you go, you know what? I'm not dating anyone
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: ever again.
• 51:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And it's humiliating. And it like brings you back
• 51:16
  Speaker 3: to square one.
• 51:16
  Speaker 2: It works out eventually, hopefully, but I feel bad for you.
• 51:20
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry. Screenshots. Take screenshots of those emails.
• 51:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah. I logged out of her email as I
• 51:29
  Speaker 3: was afraid of what else I might find. After gathering myself,
• 51:32
  Speaker 3: I went down to the kitchen to help finish the
• 51:34
  Speaker 3: meal so we could enjoy our dinner and a movie night.
• 51:36
  Speaker 3: It took everything in me to keep it together the
• 51:39
  Speaker 3: rest of the night and sit in the same bed
• 51:41
  Speaker 3: with her and act like I believed everything she said.
• 51:44
  Speaker 3: Using my memory of that Craigslist ad, I searched for
• 51:47
  Speaker 3: it and replied two days later. To drive the knife
• 51:50
  Speaker 3: even deeper, she included the fact that she was single
• 51:52
  Speaker 3: and was hoping that this guy was too in the
• 51:56
  Speaker 3: posting description. After sending my reply, including a few details
• 51:59
  Speaker 3: about a tattoo and pretending to be this tall, attractive
• 52:02
  Speaker 3: guy she saw on her lunch break, she replied being
• 52:05
  Speaker 3: shocked that I actually saw the post. She stated that
• 52:08
  Speaker 3: she's never done anything like that before, lies, and wanted
• 52:12
  Speaker 3: to take me out for an adult soda, including her
• 52:16
  Speaker 3: phone number so we could text.
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: She did that online?
• 52:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: Crazy. Wow.
• 52:21
  Speaker 3: On Craigslist of all places.
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: Crazy.
• 52:24
  Speaker 3: For the past 24 hours, she's been texting who she
• 52:27
  Speaker 3: thinks is this other guy, but is really me and
• 52:29
  Speaker 3: a Google voice number. And after three times of me
• 52:33
  Speaker 3: asking if she's sure that she's single or doesn't have
• 52:36
  Speaker 3: any recent ex-boyfriends I need to worry about, she has
• 52:39
  Speaker 3: explicitly stated in no uncertain terms that she is in
• 52:43
  Speaker 3: fact single and has been for a while. Dang.
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: It's just putting salt in the wound. Lime juice in
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: the wound, twisting the knife, all that bad stuff. Oh,
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: this girl. But it's confirming it for you, OP.
• 52:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, at least you have complete proof and you cannot
• 52:58
  Speaker 3: deny this. Like, if she tries to deny it, she's
• 53:01
  Speaker 3: absolutely insane.
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 53:03
  Speaker 3: We've texted about many things. What we each do, what
• 53:06
  Speaker 3: we enjoy, past relationships, lying, and even cheating. She's told
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: this fabricated persona that she's been cheated on and would
• 53:13
  Speaker 3: never do that because of how much it hurts. Sound familiar?
• 53:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: But that she really wants to meet him for drinks
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: and maybe more. Last night, she told him she knew
• 53:22
  Speaker 3: of an amazing hole-in-the-wall sushi place in the city that
• 53:25
  Speaker 3: they should meet at, but that she couldn't remember the name.
• 53:28
  Speaker 3: About 20 seconds after she sent that text, I received
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: one from her, as her boyfriend, stating that a woman
• 53:34
  Speaker 3: from work was looking for a good sushi spot in
• 53:37
  Speaker 3: the city and she wanted to know the name of
• 53:39
  Speaker 3: the place I took her to on our first real date.
• 53:42
  Speaker 4: Oh, my God.
• 53:44
  Speaker 3: Oh, she's horrible.
• 53:46
  Speaker 4: She's the worst.
• 53:47
  Speaker 3: Just break up with him.
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: She got another knife and went, let's twist that one more.
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 53:53
  Speaker 3: What's wrong with her? Why wouldn't you just break up
• 53:57
  Speaker 3: with him?
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: I would go. Why do you need that? Yeah. You know,
• 54:01
  Speaker 2: at this point, there's no reason to continue this charade.
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: I'd be like, I'm the guy. yeah here i i
• 54:09
  Speaker 2: can't continue this i think.
• 54:10
  Speaker 3: Maybe he wants to like meet her in.
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: Person i couldn't do it i could there's no point
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: i'm wasting my time my breath my energy into this
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: i already got the certainty that you're cheating on.
• 54:20
  Speaker 3: Me great see i would wait until they're in person
• 54:25
  Speaker 3: to do it because i don't want her to deflect
• 54:27
  Speaker 3: and not come home and not talk about it and
• 54:29
  Speaker 3: be like oh my god I want to sit there
• 54:32
  Speaker 3: and be like, what are you doing?
• 54:35
  Speaker 2: I couldn't do it. I'm sorry. That's crazy.
• 54:37
  Speaker 3: You'd just be done.
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: I couldn't continue the act.
• 54:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: On our first date, on our first date, in seconds later,
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: you go, someone from work wants to go to the
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: sushi place. Where was that place that we went on
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: our first date?
• 54:51
  Speaker 3: God, with no, like, oh, my God.
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 54:56
  Speaker 3: That's crazy.
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: I hate this girl.
• 54:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Seeing that text pop up on my phone felt
• 55:01
  Speaker 3: like getting hit by a dump truck. Last night, she
• 55:04
  Speaker 3: made plans to meet him for dinner at that sushi place.
• 55:07
  Speaker 3: Earlier today, I asked her if she had plans for
• 55:10
  Speaker 3: Saturday night because a few friends from my tough mutter
• 55:13
  Speaker 3: team were getting together for beers and significant others were welcome.
• 55:17
  Speaker 3: She declined, saying that she promised her parents she would
• 55:20
  Speaker 3: go to their house and cook them dinner that night.
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: I hate this woman.
• 55:24
  Speaker 3: Wow. Her lies, like, boom.
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: She knows exactly what she's doing.
• 55:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: Because this is not her first rodeo.
• 55:31
  Speaker 3: Dang.
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: God.
• 55:33
  Speaker 3: I cannot continue in this relationship and have firmly made
• 55:35
  Speaker 3: the decision that I will be ending things within the
• 55:38
  Speaker 3: next 48 hours. However, the method is uncertain. The two
• 55:42
  Speaker 3: options I am currently considering are just break up with
• 55:45
  Speaker 3: her and say that things aren't working out between us
• 55:47
  Speaker 3: and that she should see other people, leaving out the
• 55:50
  Speaker 3: details and reasoning behind it. Immediately stop replying to texts
• 55:54
  Speaker 3: from this fake persona that she plans on meeting for dinner.
• 55:57
  Speaker 3: Uphold the dinner plan she has with this guy and
• 56:00
  Speaker 3: then show up to the restaurant with a printout of
• 56:02
  Speaker 3: the text she's been sending and the Craigslist ad to
• 56:05
  Speaker 3: confront her about the lying and cheating. I also plan
• 56:07
  Speaker 3: on telling her how I found the ad and that
• 56:09
  Speaker 3: I saw the other two concerning emails. Oh, there's an update.
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 56:14
  Speaker 4: What do you think?
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: That sounded like too much work.
• 56:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that sounded like you're really plotting and being like,
• 56:19
  Speaker 3: she's not even going to feel bad.
• 56:20
  Speaker 2: She doesn't care. She has four, at least three other
• 56:23
  Speaker 2: guys or two other guys in her emails paying for
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: her flights or paid for her flights. Yeah. She doesn't care.
• 56:31
  Speaker 3: She doesn't. Unfortunately, this is done and this is over with.
• 56:34
  Speaker 3: I don't know why she continues this charade, but, you know,
• 56:38
  Speaker 3: I guess we'll never know.
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: Maybe we will.
• 56:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe we will.
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: We have an update. I want to know, but I
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: wouldn't put that much energy into it. I know you
• 56:46
  Speaker 2: want to get revenge and make it dramatic and scenic.
• 56:49
  Speaker 2: Just go, I know you're cheating on me with how
• 56:52
  Speaker 2: many other guys?
• 56:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 56:53
  Speaker 2: Get your stuff, pack your bags, you're out of here.
• 56:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's it. And also, we're going to call
• 56:59
  Speaker 3: your family and we're going to tell them together. But
• 57:01
  Speaker 3: I feel like they... I feel like the family knows. Yeah,
• 57:04
  Speaker 3: the family probably knows.
• 57:05
  Speaker 5: Dang.
• 57:06
  Speaker 2: Update.
• 57:06
  Speaker 3: Update. After reading through this entire thread and discussing the
• 57:10
  Speaker 3: situation with my hockey team and a few co-workers, I've
• 57:13
  Speaker 3: decided to just cut off all contact with her, as
• 57:16
  Speaker 3: her ex-boyfriend and as the Craigslist guy. She doesn't deserve
• 57:19
  Speaker 3: the satisfaction of knowing why, and it's blatantly obvious that
• 57:23
  Speaker 3: she does not care about me. While confronting her at
• 57:26
  Speaker 3: the restaurant would make me feel like a boss, I
• 57:28
  Speaker 3: don't think it's worth it. It's rather clear she feels
• 57:31
  Speaker 3: no remorse, and I'm sure this isn't the first time
• 57:33
  Speaker 3: she's done this. Fortunately, we do not live together but
• 57:36
  Speaker 3: merely sleep at one another's house a few times each week.
• 57:39
  Speaker 3: One thing that will make this a bit tricky is
• 57:41
  Speaker 3: that I have a female roommate who my ex has
• 57:44
  Speaker 3: hung out with and considers a friend. I need to
• 57:46
  Speaker 3: ensure that my roommate does not give her any info
• 57:49
  Speaker 3: on me or why I severed all contact. And now,
• 57:53
  Speaker 3: the plan.
• 57:54
  Speaker 2: I don't know, that sounds a little like just go
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: ghost her or just like, ah, just stop talking to her.
• 57:59
  Speaker 2: I would just call her out on your cheater. You
• 58:01
  Speaker 2: gotta break up with her. I don't need your reasoning.
• 58:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah. You can just simply, you know, either meet in person.
• 58:08
  Speaker 3: I don't suggest a text, but I, you know, either
• 58:11
  Speaker 3: meet in person or over the phone. Just be like, hey,
• 58:13
  Speaker 3: so I found out everything and we're done. I don't know.
• 58:17
  Speaker 2: I don't think I think a text is just fine
• 58:18
  Speaker 2: with someone this low.
• 58:20
  Speaker 3: That's true. Someone like this.
• 58:21
  Speaker 2: You can do this to you straight to your face
• 58:25
  Speaker 2: with multiple people. Low of the low.
• 58:28
  Speaker 3: I mean, she's just going to deflect anyway and be like, what? No,
• 58:31
  Speaker 3: that wasn't me. You know, some she has lies like that.
• 58:35
  Speaker 2: So you don't need any of her reasoning. It's fine.
• 58:38
  Speaker 3: I'm going to cancel our dinner plans for tonight as
• 58:41
  Speaker 3: the boyfriend and tell her that I won't be home
• 58:43
  Speaker 3: until late tonight. I will tell all of my roommates
• 58:46
  Speaker 3: that she is no longer welcome in her home and
• 58:48
  Speaker 3: that if she shows up, she is not to be
• 58:50
  Speaker 3: let inside. Every phone call and text will be ignored.
• 58:54
  Speaker 3: I will not communicate to her in any way even
• 58:57
  Speaker 3: by telegraph or smoke signals. As the Craigslist guy I
• 59:01
  Speaker 3: will not contact her with the exception of a text
• 59:03
  Speaker 3: tomorrow to confirm the date but I will not show
• 59:06
  Speaker 3: up to confront her as the boyfriend or provide any
• 59:09
  Speaker 3: reason for standing her up. All of her belongings currently
• 59:12
  Speaker 3: at my house will be placed in a box outside,
• 59:15
  Speaker 3: as she will certainly show up to my house after
• 59:17
  Speaker 3: a day or two of no contact and seeing a
• 59:19
  Speaker 3: box with her things in it will confirm that she
• 59:22
  Speaker 3: is nothing to me anymore.
• 59:24
  Speaker 2: Again, I think this is a little bit childish, but
• 59:27
  Speaker 2: do what you need to do to get over.
• 59:28
  Speaker 3: Your Yeah, I think also OP has been hurt in
• 59:31
  Speaker 3: the past. This is definitely like the same wound just
• 59:34
  Speaker 3: reopened and now it's even worse.
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: It's worse.
• 59:37
  Speaker 3: And so it's, yeah, he is done. He's like, I
• 59:40
  Speaker 3: want nothing to do with her.
• 59:42
  Speaker 2: And I don't blame OP.
• 59:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 59:43
  Speaker 2: It makes sense.
• 59:44
  Speaker 3: If this is the way you want to go about it,
• 59:46
  Speaker 3: I fully, fully, 100% am with you. It just sucks.
• 59:51
  Speaker 2: I feel like the simplest thing is, I know you cheated. Block.
• 59:54
  Speaker 2: I know you're cheating. Blocked. Yeah. Yeah. I don't need
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: your reasoning. I don't need your excuses. I don't care.
• 59:58
  Speaker 3: Because she's just going to gaslight you.
• 59:59
  Speaker 2: Crocodile tears. Don't care.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 2: You heard me say, I've been cheated on before, and
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 2: you know it hurts.
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 3: And you did it with multiple people.
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 4: Low.
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 3: Her family was always kind to me, and I'd like
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 3: to thank them, but will not, as this will undoubtedly
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 3: provide some information to them, which will be relayed to her.
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 3: The kindness of a word of thanks to her family
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 3: is not worth the chance that she may have a
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 3: bit of closure. I will schedule an appointment with my
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 3: doctor's office immediately for a full battery of STI testing,
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 3: including HIV and AIDS. I will look at this as
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 3: a learning experience and will lead an amazingly happy life
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 3: and enjoy everything I do because I can.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 2: Then that's all you need, OP.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 4: Good.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 2: It's going to suck for a little bit.
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 3: But, you know, screw her. She's not worth... I mean,
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 3: no one... And that prospect is worth it. Like, let
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 3: her go. Ruin her own life. She's going to end
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 3: up miserable and alone.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 2: It's okay. You'll be fine, OP.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 3: There's an edit here. After I stand her up tomorrow
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 3: as the other and cut all ties as her boyfriend,
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 3: I predicted that she will continue to text and call
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 3: over the next few days. She will most likely contact
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 3: my roommate and the only other mutual friend we have
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 3: in hopes of seeking information about what happened. Within minutes
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 3: of standing her up, I will begin to execute the
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 3: plans listed above. And also talk to our mutual friend
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 3: and my roommate to tell them that things are over
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 3: and kindly ask them not to provide any information to
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 3: her about me. I will provide a follow-up to this
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 3: within the next few days.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 2: Again, whatever you need to do to just get over
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 2: it and just move on easier.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 3: I feel like you're really, really planning this out and
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 3: making this like a big, you know, thing. You should
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 3: just be done with it. Don't let it take up
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 3: any more of your time.
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 2: I feel like just saying, again, telling everyone, don't tell
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 2: her why. Even though they know why.
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 2: She knows what she did. I don't know.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 3: There's a second update.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 2: This is like a five month relationship or so. Like,
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 2: so like this is less than a year.
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: I don't.
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: Well, I don't know. It's like less than a year
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 2: of a relationship.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah, it is less of a year.
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 3: They're like five months or something.
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I guarantee you she will not be hurt in
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 2: the way you want her to be hurt.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 2: Maybe, but probably not.
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 3: There was a slight deviation from the initial plan and
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 3: a special thanks is in order to you, Spam Monkey,
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 3: for the suggestion. As the guy she had a date with,
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 3: I kept texting her while she waited at the restaurant
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 3: saying that I hit traffic, got lost, couldn't find closed parking, etc.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 3: and kept her there for two and a half hours
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 3: before she finally gave up and left. She must have
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 3: really wanted to go on a date with him. She
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 3: has been texting and calling throughout the morning but I
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 3: have not responded to anything. She's had a few of
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 3: her friends try to contact me, and she contacted one
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 3: of my friends and my roommate trying to get an
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 3: idea of what's going on, but I've been leaving details out,
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 3: so no one really knows exactly what's going on yet.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 3: Earlier this evening, she figured out that I've been intentionally
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 3: ignoring her and sent a text acknowledging the end of
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 3: our relationship. She ended it? You don't even get that satisfaction?
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 2: No, and like I said, but again, we were playing...
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 2: mind games when it should have been mind games.
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 3: That's true. You should have just ripped the bandaid off.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 2: You're like, you cheated. Everyone, she cheated on me. Yeah.
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 2: Asked with how many guys? Don't know. But not my problem. Bye.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 4: It's true.
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 2: That's how I, yeah. I think in OP's mind, especially
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 2: during all this stuff, he was like, this is going
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 2: to be like so elaborate. This is going to work.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 2: This is it. Yeah. Bro, she was talking to At least,
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 2: I don't know, the fact that she started off with
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 2: 10 guys out of the, like, she's like, oh, 10
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 2: random guys out of the last five months have just
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 2: reached out to me. Yeah. We were friends a while ago,
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: but that's it.
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 3: Also the fact that after like one day of not speaking,
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 3: she's like, this is it. That's the end. We have
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 3: to break up. Like not even like.
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 2: No, she's ready. She's ready to move on.
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Like if my boyfriend just like didn't answer me
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 3: or whatever.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 3: I'd be like texting his friends, whatever. I'd be like,
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 3: is everything okay? And you didn't answer me. I would wait,
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 3: you know, until they would answer me. But if they're
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 3: just never going to text me back, then obviously I'd
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 3: be like, okay, apparently this is over. Thanks for making
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 3: me go insane. You know? So I don't know. I
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 3: think the mind F was successful. She has no idea
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 3: what happened and doesn't deserve to have the closure she's
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 3: looking for. Thank you all for the kind words of
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 3: encouragement and excellent advice. And the support in numbers. I
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 3: had a pretty fantastic day today hanging out with a
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 3: close friend and feel at peace with the way life
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 3: is going. Edit to add a few details previously left out.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 3: One fun thing I forgot to mention is that she
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 3: was texting this other guy while sitting next to me
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 3: on my couch a few hours before her date. showing
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 3: me that she clearly lacked the ability to pause her
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 3: infidelity for any amount of time. Also, the one fight
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 3: that we had took place one week after she went
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 3: to Portland to be with another guy while I was
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 3: out of town on a mountain biking trip. The flight
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 3: was centered around how I don't trust her and that
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 3: I should if we wanted to continue dating.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 2: We love projection.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 3: She's horrible. Just, it's done. It's over with. Don't spend
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 3: any more energy on it.
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 2: To the streets.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah. To the streets. There she goes. Right back where
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 3: she started. So, yeah. Opie, sorry that happened. And I'm...
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 3: That's horrible. And I know that this is, like, you know,
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 3: shattering your view of.
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 2: Relationships and trust. And, you know, it will take time.
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 2: Maybe it won't take time.
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 2: But you will find someone that actually respects you, wants
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 2: to be with you, and not cheat on you.
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 3: Yes. It's the big one. But that's the end of
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 3: that story, and we got another one coming right up.
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 2: Sure do.
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 3: Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fake redhead host here, and
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 3: we're going to get back to the stories, but here's
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 3: a three-minute ad break from our sponsors.
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 2: My boyfriend hit our relationship for years, and he's asking
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 2: me to wait for more.
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 3: I've waited long enough.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 2: So, my boyfriend, 28 male, and I, 22 female, have
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 2: been dating for three years. In all these years of dating,
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 2: he had always kept our relationship a secret. Red flag!
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 2: At first, I understood because the first year we got together,
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 2: he confessed that he recently got divorced. We got together
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 2: in October, and he got divorced in March. I understood
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 2: that he didn't want people talking about him fighting other
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 2: women as soon as he got divorced. So, okay, I accepted. But,
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 2: as years go by, he never intended on letting everyone
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 2: know about us. I asked him one time if he
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 2: ever wanted to tell his parents or friends or anyone
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 2: about us, but he always said no or it didn't
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 2: matter or something along those lines. You are another woman.
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 3: Dang, that stinks.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 2: I got upset about it, but he actually left me
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 2: to be upset, which kind of gave me a red
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 2: flag about him. But, you know, love is blind, especially
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 2: when you're still young. I cannot say for sure if
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 2: he is cheating on me because that's what I thought
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 2: the only reason would be for keeping our relationship a secret.
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 2: He had me register my face on his phone. He
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 2: has the face recognition thing on his phone. I know
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 2: his emails and passwords and other stuff, and he freely
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 2: lets me use his phone when I ask him. I
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 2: don't ask for it, though, because I didn't want to
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 2: seem like the type that's constantly paranoid, even though I
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 2: really am. This sounds like a concoction of BAD. All around.
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no one deserves to be a secret. That's so
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 3: crappy to do.
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from user Yunbloom. And if
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 2: you want to submit your own stories, go to the
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 2: r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Keon.
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 3: And I'm Savannah.
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 2: And we're here to give good advice goofily. We don't
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 2: have all the answers. We only know what we do.
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 2: So let us know what you do in the comments
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 2: down below. Pretty please. As Opie says, I really love
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 2: this guy. But does he really love you? No. Like
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 2: so much. Don't get me wrong, but I honestly want
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 2: to go on dates, watch movies, and do couple stuff.
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 2: In all these years we got together, we only went
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 2: on a date once. Like once.
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 3: What?
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 2: I want to scream.
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah. This is complete red flag central.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 2: And it was during Christmas time when we had about
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 2: two days off of work and we went somewhere like
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 2: eight hours away from our place. This also lasted only
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 2: a few hours because we had to get back early.
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 2: Can't even hold hands in public. The pains. It doesn't
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 2: seem like he understands, though. I don't know how to
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 2: confront him about it again, because last time I did,
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 2: he got pretty upset and said I was thinking and
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 2: asking too much. Advice, please? O.P., what are we doing?
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 3: Telling a woman they're thinking and asking too much?
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 2: Well, you've been dating for three years?
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 3: One date? You're thinking too much. You're asking too much.
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 3: You have to be a secret for this to work.
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 2: O.P., How many rose-tinted glasses do you have on to
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 2: be this blind?
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 3: Who hurt you in the past?
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 2: I want to scream.
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 3: That's crazy. I, nope. I would immediately be gone.
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 2: Update, six days later, you left him. Please, please, you
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 2: left him because you realize this is stupid.
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 5: Update.
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 2: So, I confronted my boyfriend after work and we talked
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 2: in private. Well, obviously in a place where No one
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 2: would enter because, you know the situation. I learned a
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 2: lot of stuff that he never told me in the
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 2: past three years of our relationship, and I might actually
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 2: need some confirmation for something. He cried, okay. Like, okay,
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 2: that was the first time I made someone cry. And
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 2: he never really cried all these years, so I was
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 2: extremely taken aback. Apparently, his ex-wife and him made some
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 2: kind of deal. When they were married, his ex-wife, who
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 2: had a lot of her own store in their country,
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 2: my boyfriend is Chinese, told him that He no longer
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 2: needed to work, and he refused, but she insisted. After
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 2: a bad breakup over a land, like, I guess, land
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 2: property in China, my boyfriend had, his ex-wife asked to
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 2: give her back the money she had spent on him,
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 2: which didn't make sense to him, as she was the
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 2: one who told him not to work, but he agreed
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 2: to some kind of limit? They both agreed that he'll
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 2: give her back at least 50,000 euros. Holy cow. Note,
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 2: I'm Italian, and I don't know how much that is
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 2: in Chinese money, but that's how much He said she wanted.
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 2: So yeah, it's kind of a long story because it
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 2: goes way back to when they got married. Again, this
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 2: lasted two years. And then they had the divorce. I
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 2: think this is where it gets kind of complicated because
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 2: I've never been in this situation myself. The only reason
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 2: he got married is because his mother forced him to.
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 2: He has two older sisters. They're in their 30s. And
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 2: none of them are in a relationship or even married.
• 1:10:46
  Speaker 2: I know that was kind of irrelevant, but I wanted
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 2: to make it clear as to what he exactly told me.
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 2: For the secrecy relationship we are having, he said he
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 2: promised his mother that he wouldn't be in a relationship
• 1:10:55
  Speaker 2: with any girl until he pays his ex-wife back. And
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 2: he actually told me to wait two more years. And well,
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 2: I mean, two more? I said this to him. I
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 2: found out his family also had some kind of debt
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 2: with a bank because their restaurant failed and they have
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 2: a debt of over a million? He has a lot
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 2: of weight on his shoulders, and he even told me
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 2: he wasn't supposed to be in a relationship because he
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 2: thinks there's a pain now because of what happened to
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 2: his ex-wife, even claiming all girls are the same. But
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 2: he said something attracted him to me, which he cannot explain,
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 2: and I can't explain it either. This all sounds like
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 2: pure BS.
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's exactly what I was going for.
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 2: What does this have to do with you, OP?
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 3: Exactly. He's like, oh, I have all this past trauma
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 3: and I was married once. Now I have all these
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 3: debts and my mom did this, my sisters.
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 2: My mommy said I can't get in a relationship because
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 2: I'm an adult man and I made a mistake. So
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 2: that's why I have to hide my relationship with you
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 2: for four to five years. Does this make sense?
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 3: I couldn't. I'd be like, figure that out.
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 2: I can't take you out. I can't take you out.
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 2: I've only taken you out on a dinner one time,
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 2: and that was eight hours away. Does this make sense?
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 3: It's just, like, complete disrespect, truthfully.
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 2: You're living a lie, OP. I'm sorry. This is insane.
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 2: OP continues saying, Another reason is because his ex-wife's family
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 2: is talking bad about him to all his relatives, and
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 2: he didn't want to get me involved. Thus, the reason
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 2: he wants to keep it a secret until everything is
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 2: paid for, or at least until he has the weight
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 2: off of his shoulders, which is, again, Two more years,
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 2: he said. I would also want some confirmation if getting
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 2: a divorce in China is seen as some kind of disgrace.
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 2: He showed me all the transactions he did to his ex-wife,
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 2: some even years ago, the messages from his mother way back,
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 2: his divorce papers, and all the stuff I wanted to see.
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 2: He doesn't have a second phone like some of the
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 2: commenters predicted, and that's basically all of his explanation. I
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 2: know it'll sound stupid, and I'm young, and I am stupid,
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 2: but he asked me not to break up with him,
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 2: but we can take a break from the relationship because...
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 2: He didn't really consider my feelings because he was only
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 2: thinking about himself and that he was sorry. I want
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 2: to scream.
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 3: I mean, he said he's sorry. You can just do
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 3: what you're doing. I don't know. That's just crazy. It's
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 3: crazy to think that he can hide his life from everyone.
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 3: And just be like, that's a normal thing to do.
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 2: In my adult life. And also gaslight you to say,
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 2: you're overthinking things. I'm not going to be honest and
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 2: straight up with you from the very get-go. Hey, if
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 2: I date you, we're not going to be really dating.
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 2: It's going to be pretty much in secret. That's that.
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, if you told any woman that, they'd be like, nope,
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 3: thank you, next.
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 2: But all women are the same, but I was attracted
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 2: to you, so. So you're different. OP, leave this guy.
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he doesn't have his crap together. And you don't
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 3: want to deal with all of that. Because guess what?
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 3: Even if he does come out and say like, oh,
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 3: you know, like I have this girlfriend, blah, blah, blah.
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 3: They're still not going to like you. They're not going
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 3: to accept you. They're going to be crap talking. Who cares? Like,
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 3: it's just never going to work out.
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 2: And hopefully it ends with OP. You leave this guy
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 2: because this is insane.
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 4: Please.
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 2: So OP says, I was quiet the whole time because
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 2: I didn't know what to say, honestly. But I said, sure,
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 2: we can take a break. I told him if he
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 2: ever wants to come back to me, it's okay. I
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 2: accept him. But if he finds someone else or decides
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 2: that relationship isn't for him, then I hope he will
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 2: be happy with his decisions. I told him that no
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 2: matter what happens, he can contact me. He said he
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 2: was sorry that he made me miserable and those things.
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 2: I quit my job. I'm back home with my parents.
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 2: I'll be gone for four months because my parents are
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 2: making another branch for our store and I will help.
• 1:14:49
  Speaker 2: We are still in contact and somehow in a relationship still.
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 2: It sounds stupid, but honestly, I want to look forward
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 2: to these two years. Well, like I said, I am
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 2: young and stupid. Hey, stop being young and stupid. Stop
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 2: saying I'm young and stupid. I can continue to do
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 2: young and stupid things like this relationship.
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, OP, you don't want to keep it a secret.
• 1:15:13
  Speaker 3: You have openly said that. I don't want it to
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 3: be a secret, and yet you're allowing it.
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 2: OP, you're pissing me off. I'm going to be upfront
• 1:15:19
  Speaker 2: with you. You don't deserve this.
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, OP, find some confidence and use that confidence to
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 3: do better.
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 2: This man has given you nothing but stress, and you
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 2: want to wait two more years? I guarantee you after
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 2: two more years, he'll stay five more years.
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not going to be two more years.
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 2: I'm upset. And I'm also upset that this is the
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 2: end of the story and the end of this episode.