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He Loved Her - Then Quietly Drained Her Life Savings · Narcisist Psychology

0:03
Speaker 1: At six twenty two. On the morning of October second,
0:07
Speaker 1: twenty nineteen, Valerie Wagner picked up her phone and called
0:11
Speaker 1: her sister. She called every Wednesday. At six fifteen, she
0:17
Speaker 1: was seven minutes late, and Patricia noticed that small delay
0:21
Speaker 1: is the first thread pullet, and a three year architecture
0:25
Speaker 1: of calculated dismantling comes apart in your hands. Valerie was
0:30
Speaker 1: fifty one years old. She lived alone in a modest
0:33
Speaker 1: house in Delwood, Minnesota, a quiet town northeast of Saint
0:37
Speaker 1: Paul where people leave garage doors open and know their
0:41
Speaker 1: neighbors by name. She worked three days a week as
0:44
Speaker 1: a medical receptionist at a pediatric clinic in Ardent Hills.
0:47
Speaker 1: She sang in the choir at Calvary Lutheran. She was,
0:51
Speaker 1: by every external measure, a woman who had rebuilt a life.
0:56
Speaker 1: Her husband, Dennis, died in two thousand eight, a cardiac event.
1:01
Speaker 1: He was there in the morning and gone by the afternoon,
1:04
Speaker 1: and Valerie spent the years that followed doing what careful
1:07
Speaker 1: competent people do. She managed her grief, she held her job,
1:12
Speaker 1: She paid off the house. When October twenty nineteen arrived.
1:17
Speaker 1: She had a life insurance settlement of two hundred forty
1:20
Speaker 1: thousand dollars, a retirement account worth three hundred eighty thousand,
1:24
Speaker 1: and a home with no mortgage. She had built a
1:27
Speaker 1: floor beneath herself. That floor was gone. What investigators would
1:31
Speaker 1: piece together over the following weeks was not a robbery.
1:35
Speaker 1: There was no broken window, no forced entry, no physical struggle.
1:40
Speaker 1: What happened to Valerie Wagner was slower and more precise
1:44
Speaker 1: than that. Someone had spent three years learning exactly how
1:48
Speaker 1: her mind worked, exactly which anxieties she carried, exactly who
1:53
Speaker 1: she trusted, and why then he used every one of
1:57
Speaker 1: those things against her. This is the story of how
2:00
Speaker 1: Frank Sanders took a part one woman's reality from the inside.
2:05
Speaker 1: And it is the story of how Valerie Wagner, without
2:08
Speaker 1: calling the police, without telling her sister, carrying only a
2:13
Speaker 1: backpack and a folder of documents she had reconstructed from memory,
2:18
Speaker 1: walked out her own front door and found a way
2:21
Speaker 1: to survive. There is something in the forensic record of
2:24
Speaker 1: this case that took investigators weeks to fully comprehend. Not
2:28
Speaker 1: the money, not even the manipulation. It was a single
2:32
Speaker 1: object on the kitchen counter, a candle a large Yankee
2:36
Speaker 1: candle jar completely burned down, the wick gone. It had
2:40
Speaker 1: been positioned near the laptop, not for atmosphere, for light,
2:45
Speaker 1: and it tells you exactly what the last hours in
2:48
Speaker 1: that house looked like. We will get there, but first
2:51
Speaker 1: you need to understand who Valerie Wagner was before Frank
2:55
Speaker 1: Sanders found her. Dennis Wagner died on a Tuesday in
2:59
Speaker 1: September of two thousand and eight. He was at work
3:02
Speaker 1: a shipping logistics company in white Bear Lake and his
3:06
Speaker 1: heart simply stopped. Valerie was forty years old. They had
3:10
Speaker 1: no children. She drove herself to the hospital, sat in
3:14
Speaker 1: a waiting room chair, and was told by a resident
3:17
Speaker 1: she had never met that her husband was gone. What followed,
3:21
Speaker 1: according to her sister Patricia Hamil, was not collapse, It
3:25
Speaker 1: was absorption. Valerie went quiet in a way that was
3:29
Speaker 1: not withdrawal but processing. She returned to work within two weeks.
3:33
Speaker 1: She re arranged the house slowly over the following year,
3:37
Speaker 1: not a racing Dennis, but making room alongside him. She
3:41
Speaker 1: kept his reading chair in the same corner. She moved
3:44
Speaker 1: his coffee mug to the back of the cabinet, not
3:47
Speaker 1: thrown away. Just out of the daily line of sight.
3:50
Speaker 1: Patricia lived in Stillwater, about fifteen minutes from Dellwood. The
3:55
Speaker 1: two sisters had spoken every Wednesday morning since two thousand
3:59
Speaker 1: and nine, fifteen before the work day started, reliable enough
4:04
Speaker 1: that Patricia later told investigators she could have set a
4:07
Speaker 1: clock by it. Valerie was organized in the way that
4:10
Speaker 1: people who have survived sudden loss sometimes become. She kept
4:15
Speaker 1: a household binder with insurance documents, utility accounts, and a
4:19
Speaker 1: running list of what needed attention each month. She tracked
4:22
Speaker 1: her retirement account quarterly. She had no debt. She had,
4:26
Speaker 1: in the words of Detective Chad Christensen of the Anoka
4:29
Speaker 1: County Sheriff's Office, the financial profile of someone who understood
4:34
Speaker 1: exactly what she had and why it mattered. Christensen had
4:38
Speaker 1: spent eleven years working financial fraud before moving to major crimes.
4:42
Speaker 1: He would later say that Valerie's profile was precisely the
4:46
Speaker 1: type that drew Frank Sanders. Self sufficient enough to have
4:49
Speaker 1: real assets, isolated enough to have a gap where close
4:54
Speaker 1: oversight had once been, and trusting enough within a vetted
4:57
Speaker 1: community to lower her guard once someone came back commended.
5:01
Speaker 1: That recommendation came from Tom Briggs. Briggs knew Sanders from
5:05
Speaker 1: a financial education seminar, he was not part of the scheme,
5:10
Speaker 1: and nothing in the investigative record suggests he knew what
5:13
Speaker 1: Sanders was. He was simply a man who thought he
5:16
Speaker 1: was doing a kind thing by introducing a recently widowed
5:19
Speaker 1: woman to a financial professional at a church potluck in
5:23
Speaker 1: the spring of twenty sixteen. Sanders was fifty five that year.
5:28
Speaker 1: He presented as a former stockbroker from the Chicago area,
5:32
Speaker 1: now working independently under a firm called Meridian Capital Advisers,
5:37
Speaker 1: registered in Delaware. He was articulate, he was patient, He
5:41
Speaker 1: asked questions about Dennis with what appeared to be genuine interest,
5:45
Speaker 1: and he did not raise finances that first evening, or
5:49
Speaker 1: the second or the third. By September of twenty sixteen,
5:54
Speaker 1: he was at Valerie's house three to four evenings a week.
5:58
Speaker 1: Patricia met him twice before she formed a clear impression
6:01
Speaker 1: he was warm in the surface way that she could
6:04
Speaker 1: not immediately name. As performed, he remembered details she had
6:08
Speaker 1: mentioned in passing. He made Valerie laugh in ways Patricia
6:12
Speaker 1: had not heard since before Denis died. And yet, when
6:16
Speaker 1: Patricia later tried to describe what had felt off. She
6:19
Speaker 1: kept returning to the same moment a dinner in late October,
6:24
Speaker 1: when Sanders had gently interrupted Valerie mid sentence to finish
6:28
Speaker 1: her thought for her, and Valerie had smiled as though
6:31
Speaker 1: this was a gift. It was not a gift, It
6:34
Speaker 1: was a test, and Valerie had passed it in the
6:37
Speaker 1: wrong direction. By winter of two thousand sixteen into two
6:42
Speaker 1: thousand seventeen, the conversation had shifted. Sanders began raising the
6:47
Speaker 1: subject of Valerie's retirement account, not urgently, but with the
6:51
Speaker 1: persistent low frequency of some one seeding concern. He suggested
6:57
Speaker 1: that her IRA was not optimally allocated for a single
7:00
Speaker 1: income household. He mentioned tax exposure. He used a word
7:05
Speaker 1: vulnerable about her financial position more than once, according to
7:09
Speaker 1: Patricia's recollection, and each time he paired it with the
7:13
Speaker 1: implicit message that he was the solution. In February of
7:17
Speaker 1: twenty seventeen, Valerie signed a limited power of attorney giving
7:22
Speaker 1: Sanders discretionary authority over her IRA. She told Patricia she
7:27
Speaker 1: felt relieved that relief manufactured over seven months of calculated
7:31
Speaker 1: emotional labour was the foundation everything else would be built on.
7:36
Speaker 1: Sanders had not taken a single dollar, yet he had
7:39
Speaker 1: done something more durable. He had made Valerie feel that
7:43
Speaker 1: trusting him was her own idea. The first dollar left
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Speaker 1: in April of two thousand, seventeen, forty thousand dollars wired
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Speaker 1: from Valerie's IRA to an account held by Meridian Capital Advisers.
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Speaker 1: The transaction was authorized under the power of attorney val
8:00
Speaker 1: had signed two months earlier. On paper, it looked like
8:04
Speaker 1: a client a proving a portfolio move. That was the point.
8:08
Speaker 1: Sanders had not rushed to this moment. He had spent
8:11
Speaker 1: almost a year building the architecture of trust before touching
8:14
Speaker 1: a single scent. The first transfer was small enough relative
8:19
Speaker 1: to the total that Valerie experienced it as confirmation rather
8:23
Speaker 1: than alarm. The money was moving towards something better. Sanders
8:28
Speaker 1: had told her so, and she believed him because she
8:31
Speaker 1: had been prepared to believe him long before the wire
8:34
Speaker 1: instructions were ever drafted. But in May of twenty seventeen,
8:39
Speaker 1: something small shifted. Patricia called on a Wednesday morning, as
8:44
Speaker 1: she always did. She asked Valerie about the fee structure
8:47
Speaker 1: on the new account. Valerie changed the subject, not sharply,
8:52
Speaker 1: not defensively. She simply moved on the way you move,
8:56
Speaker 1: pasted a question you do not have an answer for,
8:58
Speaker 1: or one you have been instructed not to think about
9:01
Speaker 1: too carefully. Patricia noticed she filed it. That summer, a
9:06
Speaker 1: woman named Diane Foley appeared. Sanders introduced her as an
9:10
Speaker 1: old friend from Chicago, a long time client who had
9:14
Speaker 1: done well under his management. Foley was warm, specific in
9:18
Speaker 1: her praise, and entirely convincing. She told Valerie that she
9:23
Speaker 1: had been skeptical at first. Two she said that was normal.
9:28
Speaker 1: She said Sanders was the rare kind of adviser who
9:32
Speaker 1: genuinely cared about the people he worked with. Every instinct
9:36
Speaker 1: Valerie had that something was off. Now at a counter
9:40
Speaker 1: narrative attached to it, Foley had felt the same way
9:44
Speaker 1: Foley had been wrong. Valerie's doubt was not insight. It was,
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Speaker 1: according to the story, fully told, just the fear that
9:52
Speaker 1: comes before you finally let someone help you. Investigators would
9:56
Speaker 1: later confirm that Foley called from a Phoenix number when
10:00
Speaker 1: contacted for the record. Her role, as described in court documents,
10:06
Speaker 1: was triangulation, a third voice that made Sanders version of
10:10
Speaker 1: reality feel like consensus rather than persuasion. By autumn of
10:15
Speaker 1: twenty seventeen, Sanders had also begun managing how Valerie described
10:20
Speaker 1: her own family. When Patricia's concerns came up, he called her,
10:25
Speaker 1: according to Valerie's later account, the type of person who
10:29
Speaker 1: always finds something to worry about. He did not say
10:32
Speaker 1: this cruelly. He said it gently, as though he was
10:36
Speaker 1: protecting Valerie from an exhausting dynamic. Valerie started calling Patricia less.
10:41
Speaker 1: Between January and September of twenty eighteen, three more transfers
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Speaker 1: moved through the account. One hundred sixty two thousand dollars
10:49
Speaker 1: from the life insurance proceeds directed into a joint brokerage account,
10:54
Speaker 1: where Sanders held effective control. Valerie's name was on the paperwork,
10:59
Speaker 1: her consent was documented at every step that was the design.
11:03
Speaker 1: By spring of twenty nineteen, the IRA was nearly gone.
11:08
Speaker 1: The tax penalties and early withdrawal fees had landed entirely
11:11
Speaker 1: on Valerie. Sanders suggested around this time that she consider
11:15
Speaker 1: reducing her hours at the pediatric clinic from three days
11:19
Speaker 1: a week to two. He framed it as a quality
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Speaker 1: of life decision. Rest less stress, she had the resources.
11:27
Speaker 1: She did not have the resources, but she had Sanders
11:30
Speaker 1: and Sanders had told her she did. Investigators would later
11:34
Speaker 1: refer to this move as a financial isolation loop. Fewer
11:38
Speaker 1: work hours meant less independent income. Less income meant more
11:42
Speaker 1: reliance on the accounts. Sanders managed, fewer colleagues to mention
11:46
Speaker 1: the strange tax bill, Fewer mornings away from the house,
11:49
Speaker 1: where Sanders spent three or four evenings a week. Each
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Speaker 1: reduction in Valerie's external life made the next reduction feel
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Speaker 1: more natural. On October second, of two Thousdy nineteen, at
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Speaker 1: six twenty two in the morning, Patricia called. It was
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Speaker 1: a Wednesday. Valerie answered and sounded and Patricia's word compressed.
12:11
Speaker 1: She mentioned a trip Sanders had suggested to Duluf. Then
12:14
Speaker 1: she stopped mid sentence Frank had arrived. The call ended.
12:19
Speaker 1: Patricia would not speak to her sister again for twenty
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Speaker 1: seven days. On October fourth, Valerie's laptop logged its final
12:27
Speaker 1: browser activity. She had searched bus routes from Dellwood to
12:31
Speaker 1: Minneapolis that same evening, According to neighbor Linda Piccheco and
12:36
Speaker 1: corroborating data from a Google account trace, Sanders was at
12:40
Speaker 1: the house. The forensic examiner's finding was precise. The deletion
12:44
Speaker 1: of saved passwords from Valerie's browser, banking portals, IRA Access
12:49
Speaker 1: and the joint brokerage SUN had been executed from a
12:53
Speaker 1: device logged into sanders Google session. During that visit. He
12:57
Speaker 1: did not take her passport. It was untill in the
13:00
Speaker 1: desk drawer when investigators arrived. He did not take her car.
13:05
Speaker 1: It was in the garage. He took the passwords, he
13:08
Speaker 1: took the phone, and he left. On the morning of
13:10
Speaker 1: October sixth. Pacheco saw Sanders Suburo briefly in the driveway.
13:15
Speaker 1: By October seventh, Valerie was gone. When Mark Walker arrived
13:20
Speaker 1: on the morning of October eighth with a casse roll
13:23
Speaker 1: and found the front door open, his first red was
13:26
Speaker 1: not sinister. The candle on the counter, a large Yankee
13:30
Speaker 1: candle jar, had burned completely down. That type burns for
13:35
Speaker 1: eighty to one hundred hours. It had been lit and
13:38
Speaker 1: left and run out entirely. No one had blown it out.
13:43
Speaker 1: No one had been there to blow it out. Walker
13:46
Speaker 1: called nine one one. The initial assessment, as Detective Chad
13:50
Speaker 1: Christensen of the Anoka County Sheriff's Office later stated publicly,
13:54
Speaker 1: was not foul play in the conventional sense. There was
13:57
Speaker 1: no sign of struggle. Nothing was broken, nothing was overturned.
14:03
Speaker 1: Valerie Wagner had simply quietly disappeared from her own life.
14:09
Speaker 1: The case looked like an absence. What it was was
14:12
Speaker 1: an escape. Here is where the picture inverts entirely. Every
14:16
Speaker 1: physical detail Sanders left behind pointed toward one conclusion that
14:21
Speaker 1: Valerie had gone voluntarily or had been taken. The empty house,
14:26
Speaker 1: the untouched car, the spent candle, the missing phone, the
14:30
Speaker 1: deleted passwords. Taken together, the evidence read as either abandonment
14:35
Speaker 1: or abduction. Consider the passwords first. A person leaving of
14:40
Speaker 1: their own free will does not need someone else to
14:43
Speaker 1: erase their banking access. That erasure served one purpose, to
14:47
Speaker 1: ensure that even if Valerie reached a computer somewhere, she
14:51
Speaker 1: could not immediately verify what remained in those accounts, could
14:55
Speaker 1: not log in and see the balances, could not move
14:58
Speaker 1: what little was left before Sanders did. The deletion was
15:01
Speaker 1: not evidence of her departure. It was a lock placed
15:05
Speaker 1: on her after she left. The candle is the harder detail.
15:10
Speaker 1: Valerie did not light a candle and walk out, She
15:14
Speaker 1: left it burning. The forensic timeline places Sanders at the
15:18
Speaker 1: house on the evening of October fourth, and then again
15:21
Speaker 1: on the morning of October sixth. The candle burned for
15:25
Speaker 1: something close to eighty hours after that. It had been
15:28
Speaker 1: lit during one of those visits and never extinguished. But
15:32
Speaker 1: here is the thing. The candle was placed on the
15:35
Speaker 1: kitchen counter in a functional position, not decorative, not on
15:39
Speaker 1: a table or shelf. According to the examiner's notes. It
15:43
Speaker 1: was set where you would put a light source if
15:46
Speaker 1: you needed to see to work. Sanders had used it.
15:49
Speaker 1: The house had no other lights on when Walker arrived.
15:53
Speaker 1: Picture Sanders in that kitchen on the morning of October sixth,
15:57
Speaker 1: working by candlelight, The laptop, the passwords gone. Valerie already
16:03
Speaker 1: somewhere in the city with a backpack and a folder
16:06
Speaker 1: she had packed herself. What Valerie carried in that folder
16:10
Speaker 1: recontextualizes everything. Bank statements, the management contract, a handwritten list
16:16
Speaker 1: of every transfer she could reconstruct from memory. She had
16:19
Speaker 1: not fled blindly. She had been planning quietly in whatever
16:23
Speaker 1: small windows Sanders had not filled. She had gathered the
16:27
Speaker 1: evidence herself before she ran. The woman Sanders had described
16:32
Speaker 1: to Patricia as financially confused, emotionally fragile, dependent. That woman
16:37
Speaker 1: had assembled a prosecution file from inside the relationship and
16:41
Speaker 1: walked out the door with it. Sanders, in his twenty
16:44
Speaker 1: twenty four interview with The documentarian, described Valerie as the
16:49
Speaker 1: one who most concerned him. He said she called her
16:53
Speaker 1: sister every Wednesday at an unusual hour, and that he
16:57
Speaker 1: had never been able to fully eliminate that line. He
17:00
Speaker 1: had tried. He had discredited Patricia, reduced the calls, compressed
17:05
Speaker 1: the time the line held. Patricia's Wednesday calls were never
17:10
Speaker 1: just calls. They were without either sister fully naming them.
17:14
Speaker 1: That way a life line that Sanders could not sever.
17:18
Speaker 1: And on the morning of October second, when Valerie heard
17:21
Speaker 1: Frank arrive and end it the call abruptly, she had
17:25
Speaker 1: already searched the bus routes two days later. The sequence matters.
17:30
Speaker 1: Something in that call or in the arrival that ended
17:34
Speaker 1: it became the moment she decided she did not wait
17:38
Speaker 1: for rescue. She built the exit herself. Frank Sanders was
17:41
Speaker 1: arrested on November eighth, two thousand, nineteen thirty, two days
17:46
Speaker 1: after Valerie walked into the Frogtown shelter with her back
17:49
Speaker 1: pack and her folder. Twelve days after Detective Chad Christensen
17:54
Speaker 1: received a call from a probate attorney named Kevin Marsh.
17:58
Speaker 1: Marsh had been reviewing the estate of a woman named
18:01
Speaker 1: Susan Alderman. Alderman had died in Lakeville in twenty fourteen.
18:06
Speaker 1: Her son, Greg, who lived in Iowa, had suspected her
18:09
Speaker 1: financial adviser from the moment his mother's accounts came to
18:12
Speaker 1: light after her death. The name on the management contract
18:16
Speaker 1: Franklin D. Sanders, the LC Meridian Capital Advisers, the same
18:22
Speaker 1: LC Sanders had used with Valery, the same structure, the
18:26
Speaker 1: same incremental withdrawals calibrated to stay below automatic review thresholds.
18:32
Speaker 1: Susan Alderman's estate had been drained before anyone outside the
18:35
Speaker 1: family thought to look closely. By the time Greg Alderman
18:39
Speaker 1: raised his concern, there was no active investigation, no missing
18:43
Speaker 1: person report, no visible crime. There was only a dead
18:47
Speaker 1: woman and a name on a contract that no one
18:50
Speaker 1: had connected to anything else until Valerie left. The Anoka
18:54
Speaker 1: County case proceeded first theft by swindle, financial exploitation of
18:59
Speaker 1: a vulnerarile adult identity fraud. Dakota County filed additional charges
19:04
Speaker 1: tied to Susan Alderman in the fall of twenty twenty,
19:08
Speaker 1: Sanders was convicted on seven counts across both jurisdictions. The
19:13
Speaker 1: sentence was fourteen years. He appealed in twenty twenty two.
19:17
Speaker 1: Every point was rejected. In twenty twenty four, Sanders agreed
19:22
Speaker 1: to a recorded interview with a documentarian. He described his
19:26
Speaker 1: method in precise terms. Identify a widow, establish trust through
19:31
Speaker 1: a mutual contact, enter through social invitation, Introduce financial conversation
19:38
Speaker 1: only after emotional dependency was in place, with draw assets
19:43
Speaker 1: in increments small enough to avoid automatic review flags. He
19:47
Speaker 1: said he had identified at least three more women in
19:51
Speaker 1: the Minneapolis metro area before his arrest. He said Valerie
19:55
Speaker 1: was the one who most concerned him. He said she
19:58
Speaker 1: had a sister who called every Wednesday at an unusual hour.
20:03
Speaker 1: He said he had never been able to fully eliminate
20:06
Speaker 1: that line. The fourteen years account for what was proven
20:10
Speaker 1: and documented. They do not account for Susan Alderman, who
20:14
Speaker 1: died without a public record of what was done to her.
20:18
Speaker 1: They do not account for the three women Sanders named
20:21
Speaker 1: but did not identify, and they do not account for
20:25
Speaker 1: the version of this scheme that operated without a missing
20:29
Speaker 1: person report, without a Wednesday call without a folder of
20:33
Speaker 1: handwritten transfer records assembled from inside. Valerie Wagner is alive.
20:38
Speaker 1: She recovered a portion of her assets through civil proceedings.
20:42
Speaker 1: The house in Dellwood remains hers. There is a detail
20:46
Speaker 1: from the twenty twenty four interview that does not appear
20:49
Speaker 1: in the trial record. Sanders said the folder surprised him.
20:53
Speaker 1: Not the escape, not the shelter. The folder, the handwritten
20:57
Speaker 1: list of transfers. He had watched Valley sign every document,
21:01
Speaker 1: He had been present for, every financial conversation. He believed
21:05
Speaker 1: he had shaped what she understood about her own money.
21:09
Speaker 1: The folder told him he had not. Somewhere in the
21:12
Speaker 1: three years he spent building a controlled reality around her,
21:16
Speaker 1: she had been quietly keeping count. He called her in
21:20
Speaker 1: that interview the one who got away. He meant it
21:24
Speaker 1: as an admission of failure, but that framing belongs to him,
21:28
Speaker 1: not to her. Valerie Wagner did not simply escape a
21:31
Speaker 1: cond She documented it from the inside, carried the evidence
21:35
Speaker 1: out on foot, and then waited in a shelter while
21:38
Speaker 1: a volunteer named Angela Torres persuaded her that one phone
21:42
Speaker 1: call was worth making. That call reached Christensen's office. Christensen
21:47
Speaker 1: reached Marsh. Marsh produced Susan Alderman's file, and a scheme
21:52
Speaker 1: that had survived one woman's death was dismantled by another
21:56
Speaker 1: woman's handwriting. The question this case leaves open is not
22:00
Speaker 1: whether Sanders will serve his sentence. He is serving it.
22:04
Speaker 1: The question is the one Sanders himself raised without meaning to.
22:08
Speaker 1: How many others operated the same loop and were never
22:10
Speaker 1: surprised by a folder. How many Susans are in the
22:14
Speaker 1: record as natural deaths, as voluntary transfers, as estates that
22:20
Speaker 1: simply ran dry before anyone thought to pull the thread.
22:24
Speaker 1: Valerie kept the line to her sister, She kept the count,
22:27
Speaker 1: She walked out. Those three things, in that order are
22:31
Speaker 1: why the sentence exists at all. This show is made
22:34
Speaker 1: by Oboe Media