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Three Little Hogs? | Three Little Pigs Fairy Tale | Stories for Kids · Dorktales Storytime | Stories for Kids Who Love Big Adventures

• 0:00
  Jonathan: Hello, Dork Squad.
• 0:02
  Jonathan: I'm Jonathan Cormur, and you're listening to Dork tales Storytime, the podcast for kids and their pop culture loving grown-ups.
• 0:14
  Speaker 5: It's a beautiful day for a story, adventure, and glory, new friends and old ones too.
• 0:21
  Speaker 5: It's an excellent day to get swept away in a tale, so let us regale you
• 0:34
  Redge: The Three Little Pigs See you've muffed it up already.
• 0:41
  Theme Song: Three little pigs.
• 0:42
  Theme Song: Humph What do you mean, humph?
• 0:45
  Theme Song: What's wrong with the three little pigs?
• 0:48
  Redge: No no no.
• 0:49
  Redge: You've got it all wrong.
• 0:51
  Redge: It's the three little hedgehogs
• 0:56
  Jonathan: The three little hedgehogs?
• 0:58
  Jonathan: Uh never heard of it.
• 1:02
  Redge: Why, it's a classic tale from the fairy tale canon.
• 1:07
  Jonathan: Alright, uh alright.
• 1:09
  Jonathan: I guess I can work with that.
• 1:11
  Jonathan: Um okay.
• 1:13
  Jonathan: Once upon a time there were three little pigs,
• 1:16
  Redge: hedgehogs
• 1:20
  Jonathan: who lived in the woods with their dear little mother.
• 1:23
  Jonathan: One day, their mother said to them
• 1:26
  Mother Hedgehog: Oh my boys, your dear mother is getting old, and it's time for you to make your way out into the big wide world.
• 1:37
  Mother Hedgehog: It's a big wide world out there, and you need to look out for each other, my boys, make good decisions, and be careful.
• 1:54
  Jonathan: Oh what's the matter, Mr.
• 1:56
  Jonathan: Redge?
• 1:58
  Redge: You sounded just like my own dear old mother.
• 2:04
  Jonathan: Oh uh thanks
• 2:07
  Redge: Except uh my mum was more like Hoy, sling your hook! I'm not feeding a lot of you anymore! Find your own grubs
• 2:16
  Jonathan: grub
• 2:18
  Redge: Excuse me?
• 2:20
  Jonathan: The term is grub.
• 2:21
  Jonathan: Like slang for food.
• 2:23
  Redge: No no no.
• 2:24
  Redge: I said grubs.
• 2:26
  Redge: I meant grubs.
• 2:28
  Redge: You know, bugs! Very tasty.
• 2:33
  Jonathan: Ew.
• 2:34
  Jonathan: Uh anyway.
• 2:36
  Jonathan: So the three little er hedgehogs set out into the big wide world to find their own places in it.
• 2:44
  Jonathan: As they walked along, they met a man who was selling straw.
• 2:48
  Jonathan: Now this first little hedgehog uh let's see, we'll call him uh Porky.
• 2:55
  Porky: Uh Porky wasn't a very bright little guy, and uh he said Wow Straw Needle You know, that would make a very good house.
• 3:12
  Jonathan: His brothers were not convinced.
• 3:15
  Percy: Cha like you're wrong, bro.
• 3:17
  Percy: That straw is way too uh strawy
• 3:23
  Peregrin: indeed.
• 3:23
  Peregrin: Straw lacks the structural integrity necessary for constructing a dwelling of any stability.
• 3:30
  Porky: Huh?
• 3:30
  Porky: Aww, but I like it.
• 3:34
  Porky: Uh I'm gonna build my house out of straw.
• 3:39
  Peregrin: I must urge you to reconsider, brother.
• 3:41
  Peregrin: You will be prey to the elements like wind and rain, and it would be possible for any predator to easily enter your dwelling for a snack.
• 3:50
  Percy: Uh yeah, dude, what he said.
• 3:52
  Percy: Besides, it'll look totally bogus.
• 3:56
  Jonathan: No matter what his brother said, the first little hedgehog wanted to build his house out of straw, and so he did Y
• 4:19
  Percy: ep, like I said, totally bogus.
• 4:23
  Peregrin: I must advise against dwelling in such a subpar edifice.
• 4:27
  Porky: Huh?
• 4:29
  Peregrin: In other words, I don't like it.
• 4:32
  Jonathan: No, they didn't.
• 4:33
  Jonathan: And so they bid their brother a fond farewell and went on their way.
• 4:37
  Jonathan: Before too long, they came across a woman who was selling sticks.
• 4:43
  Percy: Whoa, dude! Those sticks are righteous! You know, I think I'll build my house out of them.
• 4:50
  Peregrin: Haha Hm, I must advise against it, brother.
• 4:54
  Peregrin: They are not nearly strong enough for a house.
• 4:57
  Percy: What?
• 4:57
  Percy: But they look so epic! I'll take them.
• 5:02
  Jonathan: And no matter what his brother said, the second brother, uh we'll call him uh Percy, was determined to build his house out of sticks, and so he did.
• 5:22
  Percy: Ta-da Like tubular.
• 5:25
  Peregrin: Ah yeah And once again I feel I would be remiss if I did not point out that this house will be prey to the elements, and any natural predator that may come along.
• 5:38
  Peregrin: H
• 5:38
  Percy: uh?
• 5:40
  Peregrin: In other words, you'll get rained on, and any animal that decides you look like a tasty treat will be able to gobble you up.
• 5:47
  Percy: What it looks so awesome, bro.
• 5:50
  Percy: Yeah
• 5:52
  Jonathan: So the last little hedgehog bid his brother a fond farewell and went on his way.
• 5:57
  Redge: Hmm, maybe they weren't hedgehogs after all.
• 6:00
  Redge: They don't seem very smart.
• 6:03
  Jonathan: Well the last little uh hedgehog was very smart.
• 6:08
  Jonathan: Uh let's see, let's call him Peregrine.
• 6:10
  Jonathan: Peregrine was so smart that you could barely understand what he was saying when he was talking.
• 6:16
  Jonathan: And he kept walking along until he met a man who was selling bricks.
• 6:21
  Peregrin: Hmm by my calculations, a two-story brownstone with gothic porticos and a hearth capable of cooking will require approximately five thousand four hundred and thirty two bricks of the size.
• 6:33
  Brick Seller: Eh?
• 6:35
  Peregrin: In other words, I'll take them all.
• 6:37
  Peregrin: No, okay.
• 6:38
  Peregrin: You need a lot of bricks to build a big house.
• 6:41
  Peregrin: And that's what he did.
• 6:43
  Peregrin: Except uh he decided to sub contract, so he didn't have to get his hooves.
• 6:48
  Peregrin: I mean uh paws.
• 6:52
  Peregrin: Dirty.
• 6:53
  Builders: Hey Mac, move the bow over there.
• 6:55
  Builders: But down and over there.
• 6:58
  Builders: Rabba rabble rabble rabble rabble rabble rabble rabble rabble rabble.
• 7:05
  Peregrin: Most satisfactory.
• 7:07
  Jonathan: So now all three hedgehogs were settled in their new homes and living lives of ease.
• 7:13
  Jonathan: Unfortunately, there also lived in that neighborhood a big bad wolf.
• 7:25
  Redge: Hold it.
• 7:26
  Redge: Stop.
• 7:27
  Redge: Hold everything
• 7:31
  Jonathan: What's the matter now?
• 7:33
  Redge: It should be an owl
• 7:38
  Jonathan: An owl
• 7:39
  Redge: Yes, an owl is a natural predator for hedgehogs, not a wolf.
• 7:46
  Jonathan: Oh come on, whoever heard of the big bad owl?
• 7:51
  Redge: Haven't you seen the secret of Nimh?
• 7:53
  Redge: Only every mouseling, baby squirrel, baby bird, and baby hedgehog, that's who?
• 8:00
  Jonathan: No, Redge, I can't be a big bad owl.
• 8:04
  Jonathan: How can an owl huff and puff?
• 8:07
  Redge: Hmm.
• 8:08
  Redge: Uh perhaps he could uh hoot and toot?
• 8:12
  Jonathan: Uh-uh, no, no way.
• 8:15
  Jonathan: Absolutely not.
• 8:17
  Redge: Oh, but it has to be an owl.
• 8:20
  Jonathan: It's going to be a wolf.
• 8:22
  Redge: It's going to be an owl,
• 8:23
  Jonathan: a wolf,
• 8:24
  Redge: an owl,
• 8:25
  Jonathan: a wolf,
• 8:25
  Redge: an owl,
• 8:26
  Jonathan: a wolf,
• 8:27
  Redge: an owl,
• 8:27
  Jonathan: a wolf,
• 8:28
  Redge: an owl,
• 8:28
  Jonathan: a wolf,
• 8:29
  Redge: an owl,
• 8:29
  Jonathan: a wolf,
• 8:30
  Redge: a wolf,
• 8:30
  Jonathan: an owl,
• 8:30
  Redge: a wolf,
• 8:31
  Jonathan: an owl,
• 8:31
  Redge: a wolf,
• 8:32
  Jonathan: an owl.
• 8:33
  Redge: Alright, you win it's an owl.
• 8:35
  Jonathan: Yes.
• 8:35
  Jonathan: No, wait what am I doing?
• 8:38
  Jonathan: Sorry, Redge! I'm putting my foot down.
• 8:41
  Jonathan: It has to be a wolf, and that's that.
• 8:49
  Redge: Oh very well.
• 8:50
  Redge: But it makes no sense.
• 8:53
  Redge: A wolf chasing a hedgehog?
• 8:56
  Jonathan: Well the story is really supposed to be about a pig.
• 9:00
  Redge: Preposterous
• 9:03
  Jonathan: Anyway, the big bad wolf had heard about three delicious little hedgehogs that had moved into the neighborhood and decided he was in the mood for a little snack.
• 9:22
  Big Bad Wolf: I had heard that there was some tasty, delicious, succulent little hedgehogs living in this neighborhood.
• 9:30
  Big Bad Wolf: I think I'm going to go pay them a little visit.
• 9:34
  Big Bad Wolf: Ah here's the first house now, and it's made of straw?
• 9:44
  Big Bad Wolf: Seriously?
• 9:45
  Big Bad Wolf: Who builds their house out of straw?
• 9:48
  Big Bad Wolf: Oh well, all the better for me The who is it?
• 9:56
  Big Bad Wolf: It's uh Oh it's your dear old mother, dear it come to visit you in your new home
• 10:11
  Porky: Oh mudder thank you for coming.
• 10:15
  Porky: Hold on a minute and I'll answer the door and let you in.
• 10:20
  Porky: Should I let her in?
• 10:23
  Redge: Um are you asking me?
• 10:26
  Redge: Reginald T.
• 10:27
  Redge: Hedgehog Am I part of the story now?
• 10:33
  Jonathan: Well there's nobody here but us, and I'm the storyteller.
• 10:37
  Redge: Oh well the in that case uh No
• 10:44
  Porky: but it's my dear old mother What?
• 10:47
  Porky: It's not my dear old mother It's a a big bad wolf
• 10:53
  Redge: I didn't say anything
• 10:55
  Jonathan: uh I'd just just go with it.
• 10:57
  Porky: Oh my uh go away you nasty wolf
• 11:03
  Big Bad Wolf: You just have to do this the hard way Okay you asked for it Oh little pig
• 11:11
  Redge: Hedgehog
• 11:14
  Big Bad Wolf: Little hedgehog little hedgehog let me come in
• 11:20
  Porky: not by the spines on my prickly skin
• 11:24
  Big Bad Wolf: Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in
• 11:30
  Jonathan: So he huffed and he puffed and he blew the house in
• 11:39
  Porky: Yikes
• 11:41
  Jonathan: And poor little Porky picked himself up and ran off to hide in the stick house his brother Percy had built.
• 11:48
  Jonathan: Unfortunately, he left a pretty obvious trail for the wolf to follow, so it wasn't too long before
• 12:00
  Percy: Wazup Yeah like uh who is it?
• 12:05
  Big Bad Wolf: Oh it's your dear old mother dear coming to visit you in your new home
• 12:15
  Percy: like mamma thanks for comin' that's righteous You just wait right here I'll let you in The
• 12:23
  Porky: wait a minute! That's not our mother that's a a wolf
• 12:30
  Percy: A wolf Nah that's bogus dude It sounds exactly like her Are you really a wolf or my dear old mamma?
• 12:42
  Big Bad Wolf: It's your mother dear
• 12:46
  Percy: Is it mamma or is it a wolf?
• 12:49
  Redge: Oh uh should I answer this one?
• 12:52
  Redge: Yeah go ahead Um It's a wolf Though it should be an owl
• 12:59
  Percy: What no way are you coming in?
• 13:02
  Percy: You're just a wolf in mum's clothing That's a good one, eh?
• 13:07
  Big Bad Wolf: Yeah have it your way Oh little hedgehog, little hedgehog Oh let me come in
• 13:17
  Percy: Cha like not by the spines on my prickly skin
• 13:22
  Big Bad Wolf: Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in
• 13:28
  Jonathan: So he huffed and he puffed and he blew the house in
• 13:37
  Percy: Yikes
• 13:39
  Jonathan: And the poor little hedgehogs picked themselves up and ran off to hide in the brick house their brother Peregrine had built.
• 13:50
  Percy: It's so awesome of you to let us stay, dude.
• 13:57
  Peregrin: Far be it from me to say I told you so, but I told you so.
• 14:01
  Peregrin: Those houses were insufficient to the task of standing up to larger predators.
• 14:06
  Peregrin: Luckily, I foresaw such an eventuality, and built a large enough domicile to accommodate a family of our size.
• 14:14
  Percy: Uh say what?
• 14:17
  Peregrin: In other words, I knew your houses weren't good enough so I built one big enough for all of us.
• 14:22
  Peregrin: Ah, cool.
• 14:24
  Jonathan: But before too long.
• 14:31
  Peregrin: Um who is it?
• 14:35
  Big Bad Wolf: It's your dear old mother dear come to visit you in your new home.
• 14:45
  Peregrin: Nonsense! That voice sounds nothing like our mother.
• 14:49
  Peregrin: I hypothesize that you are the nasty wolf again, unable to come up with a new plan to sneak into our domicile.
• 14:57
  Big Bad Wolf: Wait.
• 14:58
  Big Bad Wolf: Huh?
• 15:00
  Peregrin: In other words, you aren't smart enough to come up with a new plan to sneak into the house.
• 15:04
  Big Bad Wolf: Oh really?
• 15:05
  Big Bad Wolf: Well, enough with the subtlety.
• 15:09
  Big Bad Wolf: Oh little hedgehog, little hedgehog, let me come in.
• 15:14
  Peregrin: Not by the spines on my prickly skin.
• 15:18
  Big Bad Wolf: Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow Your house in.
• 15:28
  Jonathan: So he huffed, and he puffed, and he blew But nothing happened.
• 15:37
  Jonathan: So he tried again.
• 15:38
  Jonathan: And again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again until he simply passed out on the front porch due to exhaustion.
• 15:50
  Jonathan: When he came to, he came up with a brilliant idea.
• 15:56
  Big Bad Wolf: I've come up with a brilliant idea! I'll climb up the side of the house and scoot down that there chimbly and surprise them all when they're sleeping.
• 16:11
  Peregrin: You know, it's really foolish to articulate your dastardly plans aloud when your prospective prey can eavesdrop.
• 16:18
  Big Bad Wolf: No, seriously, does anybody know what he's talking about?
• 16:22
  Peregrin: In other words, you shouldn't announce your plans where a hedgehog can hear you.
• 16:26
  Jonathan: But the wolf didn't think about that.
• 16:28
  Jonathan: He just plotted his plan.
• 16:30
  Jonathan: Meanwhile, the three little hedgehogs put their heads together to come up with a plan of their own.
• 16:37
  Peregrin: I believe the best alternative is to take a large pot, fill it with a quick bond adhesive, which will render the beast completely immobile.
• 16:45
  Percy: Uh uh whoa, uh dude, y you lost me.
• 16:49
  Porky: Uh-huh.
• 16:51
  Peregrin: In other words, we'll put a bunch of glue in a pot so the wolf can get stuck.
• 16:55
  Percy: So righteous!
• 16:56
  Porky: Y eah!
• 16:58
  Jonathan: So that's what they did.
• 17:00
  Jonathan: They filled a pot with glue and placed it in the fireplace, and waited for the wolf to come.
• 17:15
  Big Bad Wolf: Geronimo Oh yuck.
• 17:20
  Big Bad Wolf: No, this is gross.
• 17:21
  Jonathan: No, man, uh Unfortunately, glue takes a little time to dry, so what they ended up with was a sticky wolf who was just a little bit cranky.
• 17:33
  Peregrin: Oh dear, my calculations on the time it takes for the adhesive to set were incorrect! Inconceivable!
• 17:42
  Percy: Ah, no worries, bruh.
• 17:43
  Percy: I got this.
• 17:44
  Percy: Good thing I'd brought my trusty sword, just in case of sword fighting emergencies.
• 17:51
  Percy: Like, unguard.
• 17:53
  Jonathan: However, the wolf found his own sword hanging over the fireplace, and an epic battle began.
• 18:10
  Percy: Huzzah!
• 18:11
  Big Bad Wolf: Oh bunk ooho hoo how
• 18:15
  Jonathan: Unfortunately for the wolf, the glue finally did set, which made it hard for him to fight, and eventually
• 18:25
  Big Bad Wolf: I can't move.
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: Huzzah!
• 18:32
  Percy: Like Excelsior!
• 18:35
  Peregrin: Great job, brother, but what are we going to do with him?
• 18:38
  Peregrin: We can't just leave him like this.
• 18:42
  Porky: Uh hey, why don't we just take him to the nearby zoo?
• 18:46
  Porky: Then he won't be able to hurt anybody ever again.
• 18:51
  Peregrin: That's a really good idea, brother.
• 18:56
  Peregrin: Good thinking.
• 18:58
  Porky: Uh shucks.
• 19:01
  Jonathan: So the three little hedgehogs threw the wolf in a wheelbarrow and took him to the nearest zoo, where he lived in the wolf enclosure.
• 19:08
  Jonathan: He received three square meals a day and never had to go hunting for food again.
• 19:14
  Jonathan: As for the hedgehogs, well, they decided to all live together in the brick house that Peregrine had built.
• 19:21
  Jonathan: And they even brought their dear old mother to live with them.
• 19:26
  Jonathan: So, Mr.
• 19:27
  Jonathan: Redge, what did you think?
• 19:30
  Redge: Hmm.
• 19:31
  Redge: Well, I still say it should have been an owl, but I suppose for what it was, it was mostly satisfactory.
• 19:41
  Jonathan: And they all lived happily ever after.
• 19:44
  Jonathan: This has been a Jon in Character production.
• 19:47
  Jonathan: Today's story was written by Karen Simpson Gardner and performed by Jonathan Cormur.
• 19:52
  Jonathan: Sound recording and production by Jermaine Hamilton at Studio Circle Recordings.
• 19:57
  Jonathan: For more information about this episode, go to jonincharacter.com.
• 20:02
  Jonathan: Oh, and if our storytelling brings you some joy and a few laughs, we'd be so grateful if you'd help us live happily ever after by writing a review.
• 20:12
  Jonathan: It's one of the best ways for others to find our geeky tales.
• 20:15
  Jonathan: But before you go, please hit the subscribe button so future episodes will automatically show up in your podcast library.
• 20:22
  Jonathan: Now, go be the hero of your own story, and we'll see you next once upon a time.