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34: Loving Through Attention · Finding God at Work

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(Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Hi, I'm Chris.
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This is Finding God at Work.
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Just a reminder that Finding God at Work
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isn't just a podcast.
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It's also an online course.
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Check it out at findinggodatwork.org.
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Our current series is Meaningful Work, Calling, Formation,
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Service, and Love.
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Yesterday, after I got home from work, I
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stepped out of my car, and I heard
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a noise which is familiar to the denizens
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of the Midwest.
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It was a of a woodpecker.
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So I stopped.
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I was like, where is it?
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Where is it?
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I looked around.
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It kind of felt like it was coming
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from off to the left.
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I noticed there were some taller trees there
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at the corner of my neighbor's lot.
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I started looking up in the trees, and
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it took me a minute, but I found
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the woodpecker.
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I could see it.
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And then I waited to see if it
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would do it again, and it didn't do
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it again.
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I was like, oh, dang it.
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It would have been fun to watch it
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while it was doing its weird woodpecker thing.
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But this little moment of joy, right, little
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moment of seeing beauty in the natural world
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and having the time to pay attention to
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it.
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And I was thinking about this and how
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the woodpecker, it gives this really loud signal,
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right?
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And it's, I don't think the woodpecker is
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intending to signal anything.
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I'm not an ornithologist.
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I'd have to study that.
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It just happens to be really noisy in
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the way that it pecks out the wood,
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right?
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And so because it's that really kind of
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noisy eruption, it's able to arrest attention, right?
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How many birds have I totally missed that
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would have been just as beautiful for me
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to see because they didn't have that to
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get my attention?
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Well, as we're at the end of the
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series here talking about what it means to
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love through our work and how love makes
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our work meaningful, I want to think about
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how we can love our teammates by paying
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attention to them, by giving them our attention.
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And a lot of times our teammates are
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not like a woodpecker, right?
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Our teammates are not necessarily going to give
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us a strong signal that they need some
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attention or that something's going on with them.
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Some of them may, sometimes, but a lot
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of our teammates, if you're gonna notice them,
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you got to be more like a birder.
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You got to be more like somebody who's
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gonna pay attention and look for the bird
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and find it even if it's quiet.
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And so I think that that's one of
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the powerful ways we can love our teammates
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is by fostering that kind of intentional attention.
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But this is hard.
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And why is it hard?
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It's hard because of how distracted we are.
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If you're like me, distraction has become kind
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of your your MO of life.
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It feels like I'm always distracted.
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There's this line in this T.S. Eliot
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poem, it's part of a larger series of
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poems called Four Quartets, and he has this
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beautiful line, distracted from distraction by distraction, which
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has just always resonated with me.
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That sense that, like, even my distractions are
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distracted.
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I'm gonna read just a couple lines before
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and after too.
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Again, it's poetic language, some unfamiliar vocabulary maybe,
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but I think you'll get the gist.
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Only a flicker over the strained time-ridden
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faces, distracted from distraction by distraction, filled with
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fancies and empty of meaning, too mid apathy
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with no concentration.
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Doesn't that sound familiar?
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Distracted from distraction by distraction, filled with fancies
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and empty of meaning, too mid apathy, that
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means like engorged or swollen apathy.
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So like, you don't want to get anything
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done, you're apathetic, but it's kind of the
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swollen apathy with no concentration.
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This is like a prophetic poem about the
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age of the smartphone, is it not?
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So we feel this, we feel this condition
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of distraction, it's kind of pervasive.
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And while it's easy to point to things
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like our smartphones and the interruptions to our
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days, I think that really this is an
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internal problem.
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This is something about us.
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And I want to turn to an author
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who I found extremely helpful, Leighton Ford, and
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he's well known for having been an evangelist
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in kind of the classic boom era of
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neo-evangelicalism.
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He's Billy Graham's brother-in-law, and like
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Billy Graham, he did these big public gathering
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style rallies to proclaim the gospel.
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Really interesting era in Christian history.
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Anyways, he wrote this book much more recently
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called The Attentive Life.
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And when I read this book, it was
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one of those kind of turning point books
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in my own spiritual journey, The Attentive Life.
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So let me read what he says about
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distraction.
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Leighton writes, Why are we so easily distracted?
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My first inclination is to blame the noisy
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and busy world around us.
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Then I realize it is far more my
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distractible self that is the problem.
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On a recent Christmas Day, our small granddaughter
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Annabelle went from one exciting new toy to
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another, never staying long with anyone.
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Soon she was so frustrated and out of
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sorts that she was enjoying nothing to the
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full.
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I am like Annabelle, except that in my
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case it is not so much the new
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diversions to enjoy as the really important things
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to explore that I miss out on.
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Distraction has an interesting pedigree.
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The word comes from the Latin distractus, literally
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meaning to draw or pull apart.
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It can have a very innocuous sense.
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A distraction can be an amusement or diversion
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that relaxes us.
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But more seriously, a distraction is a pull
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away from what deep down we know is
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our most fundamental goal, purpose, or direction.
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When we are distracted, we are often confused
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by conflicting emotions or worries.
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In the most extreme case, a distracted mind
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is a deranged mind.
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Those who suffer from schizophrenia have great difficulty
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in filtering out all the sensory input that
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swirls around them, and so they struggle to
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grasp reality.
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The more noise that surrounds us, the more
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we absorb, the more likely we are to
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be distractible, our attention readily diverted and restless,
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and the more vulnerable we become to all
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the distractions around.
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Okay, don't you feel like he's describing your
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life?
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Yeah, I feel like he's describing my life.
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I'm just like that granddaughter Annabelle.
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I'm running from one thing to the other
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thing, from one thing to the other thing,
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and I'm missing out on all of them
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because I'm not fully present to any of
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them.
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And there's this interplay between the outer world
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and the interior world, right?
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Yes, there's a noisy, busy world with distractions,
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with notifications on our phones, with emails from
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work, with interruptions to our day, but there's
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also this interior quality of being distractible, where
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I'm letting myself get pulled away from my
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true purpose, and the more I let that
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happen, then the more vulnerable I am to
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these exterior distractions.
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And so the outer world and the inner
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world, they reinforce each other in a vicious
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cycle.
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So what's the alternative?
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Well, the alternative to distraction is, again, intentional
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attention.
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If distraction is to be drawn or pulled
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away from what really matters, attention is to
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focus on what really matters, to say, I'm
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not going to let myself be pulled away
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from this.
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I'm going to hold onto this.
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And there's a lot of dimensions there for
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our spiritual life we can press into.
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What does it mean to hold on, most
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of all, to God through Jesus Christ?
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But I want to specifically look at how
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are our teammates at work affected by our
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distraction?
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Well, again, like I want to suggest here,
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not all of our teammates are going to
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be super obvious with all of their needs
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or situations that are going on in their
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life.
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They're not going to be like a woodpecker
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with a to get our attention.
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When we are living a life of distraction,
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when we are distracted from distraction by distraction,
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we don't notice how much we don't notice
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about our teammates.
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We don't know what we don't know about
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what's going on in their lives and in
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their work.
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So think about the things that you might
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notice about a teammate, maybe if they're having
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a tough day.
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If you go through your day distracted, you
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might not have noticed that your co-worker
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was having a tough day.
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Now, does that mean they weren't?
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Right?
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Like you don't even notice what you didn't
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notice.
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Maybe there's a situation going on in their
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personal lives.
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Maybe there's something at work that they're really
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trying to improve on and and they could
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use your encouragement or somebody noticing how they're
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working on that.
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In order to give focus to our teammates,
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it takes mental energy, right?
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It takes a sacrifice.
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And so the opportunity here for us, again,
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as we think about how do we love
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our teammates is to give the gift of
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attention.
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It's a gift because it's it's a sacrifice.
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If you pay attention to someone, you can't
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pay attention to something else at the same
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time.
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You don't have infinite attention.
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You have finite attention, finite mental energy, finite
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capacity.
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And so if you choose to give some
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of that energy, some of that focus, some
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of that capacity to a teammate, it really
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is a gift.
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And it can be really received as a
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gift too.
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I know this from experience and I hope
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you do too.
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You know what it's like when somebody really
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sees you?
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Somebody really notices your strengths, your weaknesses, but
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in a loving way.
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I remember a conversation I had with a
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classmate senior year of high school.
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I was helping lead some Bible studies on
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campus.
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It was a Christian high school and was
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thinking about different struggles that different classmates were
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facing.
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I was kind of anxious about them and
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was talking to this classmate of mine about
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how I was feeling.
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And she just had this real quick comment.
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She said, well, of course you feel that
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way.
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They're your flock.
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This seeing of me and how I had
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a kind of pastoral vocation, even as a
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high school student.
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And this classmate, she saw that in me.
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And she's like, oh, you're having this concern
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about the spiritual well-being of your classmates?
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That's because they're your flock.
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Those are the people that God has put
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in your life for you to kind of
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shepherd as a peer in some way right
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now.
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I felt so seen when she said that.
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It's like she was interpreting my work, my
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side job hustle as the Bible study leader
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work for me.
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And she was encouraging me in that giftedness
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and in that area of growth.
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So powerful.
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Just one simple sentence.
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I still remember it 15 years later.
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So again, when you give the gift of
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attention to other people, it can be a
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powerful gift, a gift of love, a gift
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that really matters.
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It's not just icing on the cake.
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It's not just something that, oh, you know,
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it's okay to pay attention sometimes and not
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other times.
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No, no, no.
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This is one of the key opportunities to
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make our work meaningful is to become people
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who can give the gift of attention to
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our teammates.
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Okay.
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So how can we do this?
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Well, I have a few practical ideas and
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I want to go to a kind of
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funny Bible passage.
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We actually, we looked at this passage ever
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so briefly in the episode about vibe and
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AI, where I talked about how Paul had
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an amenuensis, a scribe named Tertius that shows
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up in the final chapter of Romans chapter
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16.
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But most of that chapter is Paul just
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giving greetings to various people.
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And I think there's something we can learn
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about Paul as someone who loves others, who
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loves his kind of ministry teammates and coworkers
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in this passage.
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So I'm going to read just a good
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chunk here, starting in verse one.
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I commend to you, our sister Phoebe, a
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deacon of the church at Sincray, that you
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may welcome her in the Lord in a
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way worthy of the saints and help her
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in whatever she may need from you.
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For she has been a patron of many
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and of myself as well.
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We Prisca and Aquila, my fellow workers in
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Christ Jesus who risked their necks for my
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life to whom not only I give thanks,
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but all the churches of the Gentiles give
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thanks as well.
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We also the church in their house, greet
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my beloved Eponidas, who was the first fruit
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to Christ in Asia.
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Greet Mary, who has worked hard for you.
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Greet Adronicus and Junia, my kinsmen and my
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fellow prisoners.
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They are well known among the apostles and
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they were in Christ before me.
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Greet Ampliatus, my beloved in the Lord.
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Greet Urbanus, our fellow worker in Christ and
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my beloved Stachys.
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Greet Apelles, who is approved in Christ.
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Greet those who belong to the family of
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Aristobulus.
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Greet my kinsmen Herodian.
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Greet those in the Lord who belong to
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the family of Narcissus.
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Greet those workers in the Lord, Tryphaena and
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Tryphosa.
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Greet the beloved Persis, who has worked hard
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in the Lord.
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Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord, also his
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mother, who has been a mother to me
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as well.
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Greet Asynchronus, Phlegon, Hermes, Petrobus, Hermas, and the
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brothers and sisters who are with them.
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Greet Philogilus, Julia, Nereus, and his sister, and
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Olympus, and all the saints who are with
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them.
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Greet one another with a holy kiss.
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All the churches of Christ greet you.
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Okay, that's one of those passages where you
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gotta wrap your tongue around a lot of
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Greek names.
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Okay, but do you see what Paul's doing
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here?
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Paul is being specific in his greetings.
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These aren't just generic greetings.
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He doesn't just rattle off people's names.
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I mean, he kind of does at the
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end.
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He's like, okay, a few more people I
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should name.
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But he says something specific about almost every
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person he mentions.
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There's kind of three different ways that he
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does this.
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Sometimes he mentions what this person has done.
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So, for example, when he's talking about Phoebe,
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he says that she's been a patron of
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many and of myself as well.
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When he talks about Prisca and Aquila, he
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says they risked their necks for my life.
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For several people, he talks about how they've
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worked in the Lord or worked hard for
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the Lord.
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So he's affirming people for what they've done.
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Clearly, he's been paying attention to what other
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people are doing to keep it in mind.
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And then he also affirms people's ongoing character
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strengths.
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It's not just one-time actions, but also
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their whole way of being.
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So, for example, when he talks about Rufus,
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he says that Rufus is chosen in the
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Lord, also his mother, who has been a
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mother to me as well.
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So not just a one-time thing, but
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again, this kind of maternal character that's been
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a blessing in Paul's life.
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So again, Paul's noticing what people have done.
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He's also noticing their character strengths, what they're
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like.
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You can describe who they really are.
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And then also he's talking about why they
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matter to him.
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So again, in that, Rufus' mother has been
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a mother to Paul.
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And then there's these other times that he
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uses the term beloved.
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So, greet Urbanus, our fellow worker in Christ,
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and my beloved Stachys.
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Greet my beloved Eponidas, who was the first
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fruit to Christ in Asia.
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And so this beloved term is a term
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of affection, a term of, oh, this person
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is there for me.
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We have a close connection.
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And so Paul clearly has been paying attention
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to all of these different people in the
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community where he's kind of co-laboring in
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ministry with them or knows them through the
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church in some way.
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And he's paying attention in these different dimensions.
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What have they done?
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What are their character strengths?
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And why do they matter to me?
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So then there's an example here that we
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can imitate, which is, in our work relationships,
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can we pay attention to people in those
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three ways?
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Can we look for, okay, what are my
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coworkers doing that I can celebrate?
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What are their character strengths that I can
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celebrate?
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And why do they matter to me that
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I can give thanks for?
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What's special about our connection, our collaboration, our
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partnership, our friendship?
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If we intentionally look for these things, that
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will help us foster this habit of attention
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and the opportunities then to encourage our teammates,
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to give thanks for them, to celebrate them
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will just be clear and obvious when they
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come up.
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So one final thought here about how to
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make time for this, because again, if we're
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so distracted during the workday, how do we
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make time for this?
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One thing I would encourage you to do
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is whenever you find yourself reaching for your
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phone, try and notice, like notice that, oh,
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I just picked up my phone.
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If you're like me, you do it without
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even thinking sometimes.
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It's not like there's a specific reason you
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need to pick up your phone.
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It's just like, oh, I need a little
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mental break from work.
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I'm going to pick up my phone and
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see if I have any text messages, right?
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If you can start noticing that you're doing
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that.
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And then instead of looking at your phone
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during that time, notice your teammates, take a
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little mental break from whatever you're doing.
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You need a little mental break, but then
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notice your teammates.
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Think about what is so-and-so doing
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today?
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What do I appreciate about them today?
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Just again, it can be helpful to take
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a break from what you're doing, but make
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use of that time to think about your
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teammates, to reflect on them, to look for
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what are they doing?
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What are their character strengths?
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Why do they matter to me?
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And as you begin to notice those things
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more intentionally, you'll also be able to love
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your teammates better.
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Lord Jesus, thank you that you pay attention
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to us, that you know us, you see
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us.
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Help us to receive that from you so
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that we can love others more deeply.
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Jesus, do your work in us as we
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do our work with you.
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Thanks for listening.
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