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When Skating Stops Being Fun · The Nadia Chapman Show

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  And not your challenge show. If you are a figure skater, a coach,
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  or a skating parent, this show is for you.
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  Today's episode is one that I think a lot of skaters need to hear,
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  and maybe some parents and coaches too, because at some point in almost every skating journey,
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  something happens that can feel a little bit confusing, very frustrating,
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  and sometimes a little scary.
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  And that's when skating stopped being fun, feeling fun. And that excitement
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  isn't quite the same anymore.
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  And if you know, you know, I'm talking about the motivation feels a little bit
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  harder to find or you start questioning things.
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  And sometimes that can make you wonder, you know, if something is wrong with
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  you, if you're falling out of love for the sport that you once loved so much.
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  And I want you to know right from the start that there isn't something wrong with you.
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  Actually, in fact, if you've ever felt this way, you are not alone.
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  Some of the most dedicated athletes I know and skaters I know and
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  most talented skaters and passionate skaters out there, they also go through
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  seasons where skating feels a little heavier, if I can say, instead of exciting.
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  So today, we're going to be talking about just that, why this happens,
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  and what might be behind it. What is this trying to tell you?
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  And most importantly, how can you begin reconnecting with that joy of skating,
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  that joy that brought you there, that brought you at the rink in the first place?
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  So why does skating stop feeling fun for some people?
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  And the first thing I want you to know is that there usually isn't one particular reason.
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  All right. It's often a combination of little tiny things that slowly add up, that pile up.
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  And because of that, because it happens kind of gradually and slowly,
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  you don't always notice it right away.
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  And one day you're excited to go to the rink and then boom, you know,
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  somewhere along the way, skating starts feeling a little bit more like a job,
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  like a chore than something you love.
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  And one of the biggest reasons I see is that skaters begin attaching their entire
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  identity to their results.
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  And a good practice means they're doing well.
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  And a bad practice means they're failing. And a clean program means that you're
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  confident and you're on track. And the mistake means that you're not good enough.
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  And slowly, without realizing it, every skate become a judgment of who you are.
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  And that can feel absolutely exhausting.
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  Because nobody can carry that kind of pressure every day, all the time.
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  You know, your jumps are just feedback. your spins are feedback,
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  your scores are feedback.
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  They are not a reflection of your worth, guys.
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  All right. And the moment that we start confusing the two, skating gets very heavy.
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  Another reason skating can stop feeling fun is because comparison, well, here we go again.
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  Yes, comparison quietly takes over.
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  And let's be honest, a lot of you are, you know, between the age of 10 till a young adult.
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  And comparison is everywhere, whether you are a skater or not,
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  but because you are so invested in this sport and you're watching everything
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  that's happening around you, I know.
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  At the rink, at competitions, you see someone landing a jump,
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  someone moving up a level and someone making it the sectionals and nationals
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  or, you know, getting selected for something,
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  you know, you see other people win.
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  And then suddenly your focus shift away from yourself, from your own journey.
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  And now you're measuring yourself against everyone else.
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  And the problem is that comparison creates a race, a race that you can never
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  really win if you think about it.
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  Because there's always going to be somebody that's ahead of you,
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  you know, a different jump, you know, a higher score, maybe a better spin or
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  more followers on social media,
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  or maybe somebody else with greater opportunities to travel or doing certain camps.
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  So if your happiness depends on being ahead of everyone else, well, guess what?
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  You'll spend your whole skating career chasing a finish line that keeps moving.
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  So instead, ask yourself, who am I compared to, I don't know,
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  six months ago? What have I learned?
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  How have I grown? What can I do today that I couldn't do last year?
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  And that's where confidence lives, not in comparing yourself to everybody around you.
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  You know, confidence is found in your own growth.
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  Another very common reason why fun can disappear from skating is because skaters
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  become afraid of making mistakes.
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  And this one breaks my heart a little because some skaters become so afraid
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  of falling and failing and missing,
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  or disappointing people around them that they stop allowing themselves to truly skate.
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  You know, they become careful. They hold back a lot more.
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  They overthink everything and they try to skate perfectly, which is,
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  you know, there's no such things.
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  And the irony in all that is that skating was never meant to be perfect.
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  You know, skating is a sport built on falling. Everybody falls. Right.
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  Everybody falls. You literally learned by falling. So yet, a lot of skaters
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  start believing that mistakes are evidence that they're not good enough,
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  that they're falling behind.
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  But as a mindset coach here, I'm going to tell you, what if your mistakes aren't
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  proof that you're failing?
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  What if they're proof that you're trying?
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  What if a missed jump or a fall isn't a problem, but what if being too afraid
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  to attempt it becomes a problem?
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  And I'm going to tell you something that I have observed. The skaters who grow
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  the most aren't the one who avoid mistakes. They are the one falling on their asses.
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  They're the one willing to make thousands of mistakes, actually.
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  Sometimes the issue isn't mental at all. It's not about mindset.
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  Sometimes you're just tired.
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  And not just tired physically, but emotionally tired. I get it.
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  Mentally tired, competition tired schedule tired expectation tired it's so much
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  being on top of everything all the time
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  can get you tired the next test session the next competition the next recital
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  the next goal boom boom boom the next thing to achieve
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  and after a while well your poor
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  brain start kind of craving something different for a while maybe a break,
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  maybe a breath maybe a little bit of space, you know, and that doesn't mean
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  that you're losing your passion.
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  It means that you are, drum roll, you are human.
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  Even national level athletes or Olympic athletes, they need recovery,
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  not because they are fragile and weak.
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  But because recovery is part of performance, you know? I think one of the biggest
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  reasons skating stopped feeling fun for some skaters is because we forget why
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  we started in the first place.
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  Think about your first few months or even a few years as a skater.
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  So take a second right now as you're listening to this to go back in time,
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  you know? Think back to the first version of yourself that first stepped onto
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  the ice, that fell in love with skating.
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  You probably weren't thinking about rankings and, you know, making it to that
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  competition and to this sectional and nationals and what's not.
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  You weren't thinking about your scores. You were not even thinking about any
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  qualifying events. And, you know, you were just thinking about what felt exciting
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  because skating is magical. And skating probably felt pretty magical the first
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  time that you step onto the ice.
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  You probably fell in love with skating because it made you smile or because
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  there was something about being on the ice that made you feel alive.
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  And that version of you still exists. Of course it does. It's still in there.
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  But sometimes it gets buried underneath years of pressure and expectations.
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  So maybe today the question isn't, how do I make skating fun again?
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  Maybe the better question is, what part of skating? have I lost connection with? Hmm.
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  And I'm going to tell you, the answer is often already there.
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  Maybe it's performing. Maybe it's learning.
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  Maybe it's growing. It's creating. Maybe it's friendships. You know,
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  it's a very social sport. You know, a lot of camaraderie go on in ice rinks.
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  Maybe you love being challenged. Maybe you love the freedom.
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  The joy isn't usually gone. It's waiting to be rediscovered, I bet the joy isn't gone.
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  And if you see yourself in what
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  I'm saying, I'm going to tell you that I bet that the joy is not gone.
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  It's probably waiting to be rediscovered.
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  And that is a very different thing.
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  And before we move on, I want to say a little something to the parents and the
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  coaches listening, because I know that you also listen to the Nadia Chapman Show.
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  Sometimes when a skater say that they're not having fun anymore,
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  our instinct is to fix it. Okay, push harder or, you know, maybe do more lessons
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  or restructure lessons and training or change the goals.
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  But sometimes what a skater needs the most is to feel heard.
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  And I want this to sink in for a second. skaters need to feel understood,
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  to know that they're allowed to have difficult seasons.
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  It's okay to know and understand that they're not disappointing anyone,
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  to know that they're loved and valued way beyond their results because the goal
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  isn't simply to create, you know, successful skaters.
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  The goal is to help young people build a very healthy relationship with the
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  sport that they love and also who they are.
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  And before we finish, I want to leave you with one final thought.
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  If you're a figure skater and you're listening to this, if skating isn't feeling,
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  fun right now, all right, don't panic.
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  Don't immediately assume that you're losing your passion. All right.
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  Don't assume that you're failing, that it's over.
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  I don't want you to assume that you're the only one who feels this way because
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  that's far from the truth.
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  Sometimes a difficult season is just that. It's a difficult season.
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  It's a season. And seasons, well, they passed.
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  Sometimes the joy hasn't disappeared completely.
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  To be honest, it's often simply buried under a lot of pressure and comporation, exhaustion, or fear.
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  And the beautiful thing about buried things is that they can be uncovered. Yep.
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  Little by little, one good practice, one breakthrough, one laugh with a friend,
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  one moment, One moment of remembering why you fell in love with skating in the first place.
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  So I want you to be patient with yourself.
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  I want you to get curious instead of critical. And remember that your value
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  as a person has never depended on skating, on your scores or your placement
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  or your test or your results. Never.
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  You are enough before skating and you'll be enough regardless of how skating goes. Trust me.
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  Thank you so much for spending this time with me today. It's been a pleasure.
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  I'll see you in the next episode. Thanks for listening. Bye.