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Kim Says I'm Acting Like a Little Baby | Coffee With Kenny · Kenny Wallace Media

• 0:02
  Happy Friday everybody, drinking my high octane coffee fueled by
• 0:10
  Sunoco love it I'm getting used to it I'm getting used to it
• 0:17
  well going to be a little shorter.
• 0:21
  I don't think I'm going to get to 8 minutes today, but it's
• 0:26
  later. It's, well, I don't know, it's
• 0:30
  almost 9:00 and that's a good thing.
• 0:33
  Oh my gosh, that them damn cruise ships love them and hate
• 0:40
  them. The airports hate them.
• 0:45
  No love for the airports. So there's a quick story about
• 0:52
  what has gone on in my life in the last five days, six days.
• 1:02
  Every time I go on those cruises, they're relaxing, but
• 1:07
  they're a lot of work. And I, and I read it perfectly
• 1:11
  like two months ago, I don't know where I saw it.
• 1:14
  Somebody said vacationing is a lot of work.
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  And boy, ain't that the truth. I mean, you know, whenever you
• 1:23
  want something, you have to work for it.
• 1:25
  Nobody's going to just hand it to you.
• 1:28
  And and that's the way vacationing is.
• 1:31
  I think of Dick Trickle every single time I go on a vacation.
• 1:35
  Dick Trickle would say, my boy, you know why we go on vacation?
• 1:41
  And I'm like, no, Dick, why do we go on vacation?
• 1:45
  He said. So we can go back home.
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  And I've told this story several times, but the older I get, Dick
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  was a brilliant philosopher. You stop and think about it, you
• 1:58
  go on a vacation and you get halfway through the damn thing
• 2:02
  and you're like, aw, can't wait to get back to my own bed.
• 2:06
  Can't wait to drink my type of iced tea.
• 2:09
  Oh, I miss my restaurant. I miss my routine the older I
• 2:15
  get. That's the way I am, man.
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  You go on those cruise ships and they're fun, but Oh my God, you
• 2:22
  got to you leave the house at some stupid time in the morning,
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  get up at 2:30. That's what we did the day after
• 2:29
  the Dome. And by the way, I'm getting to
• 2:31
  the point here, I just got to tell you the story.
• 2:34
  So we, I, we get up, I go to bed at 2:00 in the morning after the
• 2:38
  Dome. I lay down for 28 minutes.
• 2:40
  I remember I, I laid down at two, got up at 2:28 and I had
• 2:45
  energy still. I loaded everybody's luggage up.
• 2:48
  I look like a damn, you know, one of those those vans that
• 2:53
  pick you up at the airport. We had like five of us, me and
• 2:57
  Kim, Uncle Doug and Kathy and Kim's mom, five of us and a full
• 3:03
  of luggage get up to that airport at 3:30 in the damn
• 3:06
  morning and we're unloading this crap ton of luggage.
• 3:11
  And course we get lucky because there's a Porter outside the
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  airport. I tip the hell out of him and
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  I'm like, hey, help us old people out, man.
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  Of course, Kim's moms, you know, 77 years old or so, and her
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  knees are killing her Uncle Doug, knees and knees and knee
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  operations. So it's like, you know,
• 3:31
  respectfully, humbly, it's like we're all cripples.
• 3:36
  So we make our way on this damn airplane.
• 3:39
  It's dark outside and we land in Miami.
• 3:42
  And now, now we're too early. Now we're too early.
• 3:45
  So we go to Bayside and they got a luggage area.
• 3:48
  So we're dragging luggage through the streets of Miami and
• 3:53
  we park our luggage and we hang out at Bayside for like 3 hours.
• 3:58
  Now it's time to get on the the damn boat, the ship and that,
• 4:04
  that was nice. They've made it a lot easier.
• 4:06
  So we get on the ship course you got to wait for your luggage.
• 4:09
  So, you know, you keep checking your room to see if your luggage
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  is in there because you need some of the things.
• 4:15
  You see where I'm headed with this.
• 4:17
  So then finally the vacation starts and, and what happens?
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  What happens when you get in a confined area with 6600 people?
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  There was 6600 people on that ship.
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  What happens? That's right.
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  If you're not sick, I can tell you how to get sick.
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  Happens 100% of the time. I've never been on a cruise.
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  I've never been on a cruise and come back happy.
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  Kim's mom, her feet were swelled up.
• 4:52
  Kim had a cold one night, but she got over it quick.
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  And I'm a happy man right now because finally now I got to
• 5:00
  blow my nose one more time. But finally I was able to sleep
• 5:03
  and finally my nose quit running.
• 5:07
  So we spend time on the cruise ship, we go on the islands and,
• 5:10
  and, and it's fun. It is a good time.
• 5:13
  The bottom line is this, the airport and the confinement and
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  and they use preservatives and salt and you start getting
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  bloated. It's like fuck.
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  So then the direct flight. OK, so now we're going to leave
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  on Sunday from Miami, right? We're supposed to leave.
• 5:32
  You know, I want to get off. You're off.
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  They force you off the cruise ship, which is fine.
• 5:36
  It's time to get off. There's a lot of people sick in
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  the morning. They're like, let me off this
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  son of a bitch, you know, for. So for as great as cruises are,
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  people want to get off. So instead of being in an
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  airplane at noon, like 4 hours later, five hours later, somehow
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  they mess our ticket up. Kim had booked it good, but we
• 5:59
  got to go to the Miami airport and we can't check our luggage
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  in until like 1:00. So we're in the airport from
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  9:00 to 1:00, laying on the ground, sitting around.
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  So at 1:00, we finally get to check our luggage in.
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  Now. Now it's like a third world
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  country. We're like vagabonds.
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  We're like vagabonds. So the plane takes off at 4:30
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  that evening. So we are in the Miami airport
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  all day long. Now we're going to really get
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  sick, right? So instead of coming right back,
• 6:35
  Saint Louis, oh hell no, they're going to get US1 more time.
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  So the plane takes off and goes to Houston.
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  Totally the wrong way, Houston. So we get to Houston and we get
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  on that airplane. And I laid my head down and sure
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  enough, that little man right up here said, I'm going to get your
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  ass one last time. Herman turns on a little water
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  spicket. Yep.
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  Turns on a little water spicket. So about 8:30 at night on the
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  airplane, United Airlines headed back to Saint Louis.
• 7:12
  I'm sick. And when you get of age, you
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  know when you're sick and, and the snot starts draining down.
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  So here's the moral to the story.
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  On Monday, my buddy Joe Rudy calls me up and it's 7:00 in the
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  morning and I am bitching and I am whining like a little baby
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  sitting right here. And I'm I'm whining and I'm
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  crying to Joe Rudy and my wife, the love of my life.
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  She's awesome. She comes flying out of that
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  bedroom and chews my ass out, she said.
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  You sound like a whiny old bitchy man, you baby Kim.
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  Kim starts calling me a baby and goes little baby.
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  She made me laugh so much. I said thank God I got you to
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  straighten my ass out. I was not in a good mood.
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  That's why my video yesterday was so shitty.
• 8:18
  I've been in a bad new mood since Monday, Tuesday,
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  Wednesday, Thursday and this morning on Friday.
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  Good Friday. Thank the Lord my nose has
• 8:30
  finally quit running, but I think I can blow it one more
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  time. I love Kim.
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  Leave it up to Kim to chew my ass out, you little baby.
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  When she, she did all this and every.
• 8:47
  I love Kim. All right, so if you want to get
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  sick, go on a cruise and instead of a direct flight back to your
• 8:55
  home, you can save $800 by making it A2 stopper.
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  You'll get sick though, so you're probably spending 1000
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  getting your ass cured up. My message is this.
• 9:10
  Do you know why we go on vacation?
• 9:13
  Respond right here.