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How Do Narcissists Treat Their Partners? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  Come on in here, y'all. Come on in here.
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  How do narcissists treat their partners?
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  How do they treat the people that they're supposed to love
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  and care for the most other than their children, right?
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  How do they treat their significant others, their
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  spouses, their fiance's, their boyfriend, girlfriends, husband,
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  wives, partners, whatever, right?
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  How do they treat them? That's what we're talking about
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  today. Y'all if y'all new here, my name
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  is Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and
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  I've been giving people the perspective of a narcissist for
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  years now. Years.
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  It's crazy how long I've been around now.
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  I was like, I'm a staple in this in the in the niche of
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  narcissism. Now it's been five years.
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  But seriously, how do they treat their partners?
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  And I know what you're going to say.
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  Let me guess what you're going to say first, let me let me let
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  me get into your mind real quick.
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  They treat their partners badly. They treat their partners
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  horrible. They treat their partners
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  terrible. Why?
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  Why are you even making this video?
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  Because that's true most of the time, but not all the time.
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  Y'all, Let's keep it hot, let's keep it ready.
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  They don't always treat their partners badly.
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  It just does not happen that way.
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  Because yeah, think about this. Very rarely do they do you meet
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  somebody on the first date, they scream and cuss you out and
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  y'all end up staying together after that.
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  Very rarely do they show you their true character upfront.
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  Right. So it's going, it's going to
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  make sense, isn't it, That sometimes they're going to treat
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  you good. They that's how they have to
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  get. Yeah, how they how else are they
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  going to get you in a relationship if they're always
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  treating you bad? What sense does that make right
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  there? You know, it doesn't make any
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  sense to me, but they're going to have to treat you good
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  sometimes. They're going to have to do
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  something nice for you sometimes, right?
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  At least in the beginning, right?
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  Right. Narcissists don't always treat
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  their partners bad. And that's the thing right
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  there, right? That's the thing.
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  That's the issue. Sometimes it's because they
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  don't treat their partners badly that I said bad.
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  I said look it, it confuses me y'all.
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  I say badly, I'm like, am I bad? Am I being bad?
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  Badly, bad, Like I'm a dog, right?
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  Badly, bad. But no, no, no, they don't
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  always treat their partners badly because this is how they
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  get you. This is how they keep you there.
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  You know, in the beginning, most times they're going to treat you
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  with some type of respect. They're going to treat you with
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  some type of goodness. They're going to treat you.
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  They're going to do things for you that make you feel good.
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  That's just what they're going to be there for you because you
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  might be going through a vulnerable time period like you
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  might have just you might be going through a break up
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  yourself. You might have, you might be
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  going through some heartbreak right now.
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  You might be sad as hell. You might be crying.
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  Whatever the case may be, this is what's going to happen.
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  This is what happens to so many people, right?
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  Like they're going to get you at a moment in time that you're
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  vulnerable or that you're as lonely.
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  You might be just single and looking.
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  You might meet, you might just meet a friend.
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  This might be a friend of a friend right here that you meet,
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  Right? And this is the type of stuff
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  that happens to so many people. They're not always going to
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  treat you bad, right? They're going to good.
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  Yeah. That's why the love bombing
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  phase exists, right? The love bombing phase.
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  They bomb you with love. They're you.
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  You're hearing some bombs over Baghdad.
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  Back into that. Bombs over Baghdad.
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  This is bombs over empath. Bombs over empath.
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  I'm sorry yeah, y'all know that's why y'all follow me.
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  If you don't follow me, hit the follow button, hit the subscribe
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  button, y'all. But that's why y'all here
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  because you know, you don't know what I'm going to say.
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  I just let my mind just takes me and I just let my mind just
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  takes me and I just start floating away.
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  I just start floating because like yeah, this is this is who I
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  am. I'm just being authentically me
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  and I love the fact that I get to be authentic.
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  You know that's what separates me from most other self aware
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  narcissists because I love the fact that I get to be an
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  authentically me. I love it.
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  I enjoy it every, every second of it.
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  But that's why the love bombing phase exists.
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  They're not going to treat you bad 100% of the time right now.
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  They do treat you bad, right? That's why narcissism is not a
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  that's why it's not a loving, endearing word that you call
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  your partner. That's treating you amazing,
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  right? That's not the like you don't
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  call your loving, endearing, kind, caring, compassionate
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  partner or husband or wife, right or spouse.
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  You don't call them a narcissist.
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  Babe, you've been treating me amazing for the last 10 years
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  like there's been no bad times. You're such a narcissist.
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  You're my narcissist. No, it's a narcissist is a label
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  or tag that gets thrown at people that have been doing bad
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  things, typically right. So they're going to do bad stuff
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  sooner or later when the mask comes off, when the mask drops,
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  they're going to start doing bad things.
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  They just worry how it goes out. And I I cover when the mask
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  drops on my, my video series, my mini course called understanding
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  the seven stages of a narcissistic relationship.
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  You can find that at mentalillness.net or
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  courses.mentalillness.net. Enter code mothers.
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  You get 50% off MOTHERS mothers for the courses and I have other
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  courses on there as well. But that's what goes on these
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  narcissistic people. Sooner or later when a mask
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  comes off, they're going to treat you bad and it's will lay.
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  I know they're going to treat us bad, but is is it intentional?
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  Are they being intentional and deliberate with how they're
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  treating us? Are they being abusive on
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  purpose? Most times, yes, y'all, I know
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  that's not what you want to hear, but most times the abusive
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  behaviors are going to be on purpose.
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  How do you know it's on purpose? Because they can.
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  They don't do it to everybody. They don't do it to everybody,
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  right? They don't do it to everybody.
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  That's how you know it's on purpose.
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  They can control it when they're around, they can control it when
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  they're in front of your friends and family.
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  They can control it when you're in public, but behind closed
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  doors, they can't control all of a sudden.
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  Come on now. They are in control, most of
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  them. Sometimes you got the erratic
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  kind of you got one of them, the dangerous ones and they can they
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  out of control. You guys, you want to escape and
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  stay out of there, right? But this is what so many people
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  go through. Y'all see my brain, my shirt,
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  I'm aware mental illness.net. I got some new stuff coming out
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  to this fire, but it's not the here nor there.
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  A lot of times when you have these narcissistic people that
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  you're dealing with, that you're battling, that you're going back
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  and forth with, they're going to treat you bad.
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  They're going to be neglectful. They're going to make you feel
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  and they're going to invalidate you.
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  Because this is the mentality of narcissistic people, right?
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  They're going to make you feel like you are the problem, like
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  you are the issue. Like somehow, some way, shape or
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  form, it's your fault you being treated this way.
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  Now, if you've cheated on them, hey, they will never forgive
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  you. If you narcissist thinks you
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  cheated on them, they'll never forgive you for thinking that
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  you cheated, right? So that's a whole nother step,
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  the whole nother stage. You got to go down right there.
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  But most narcissist, I'll say this, most narcissistic people,
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  when who you're dealing with, when you're dealing with them
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  like this, this is what they're going to do to you.
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  They're going to keep messing with you.
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  They're going to keep doing this type of stuff because they enjoy
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  it. Most narcissist enjoy this type
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  of stuff. Some of them, but not most of
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  most. Some, some narcissist enjoy
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  doing this type of stuff. So when they're treating you
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  badly and then you might be crying or screaming or begging
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  them to stop, you look at them and they're smirking or they're
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  smiling at you or they're looking at you like this.
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  They like that. I like that.
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  That's from Joker, Batman, Dark Knight.
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  But that's what happens. You're going to like when you're
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  dealing with a narcissistic person, a lot of times it's
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  going to be intentional. Now, even if it's not
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  intentional, but it's consistent.
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  Is that what you want to deal with?
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  Well, how do I know if they're if they're a narcissist or not?
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  It yeah, the word narcissist, does it get thrown around a lot?
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  Yeah. But most time I think rightfully
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  so, it gets it gets launched most times, rightfully so.
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  Sometimes I see it and I'm like, yeah, I don't know about that
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  one. But most time is, is the word
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  narcissist is to help you understand the behavior.
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  It's to clump the behaviors together.
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  But so narcissist or not, ask yourself this question right
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  here. Are you OK with the behaviors?
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  Are you OK with these behaviors? Are you OK with dealing with
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  this person in this way, shape or form?
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  Or is this OK with you because that's important?
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  Are you OK with this? Is this OK with you?
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  Because those are important questions that you're going to
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  have to answer that you're going to face because a lot of
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  narcissistic people, a lot of toxic people, they're going to
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  mess with your head, y'all? That's just the that's the grand
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  scheme of things. They're going to mess with your
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  head. They're going to do a lot of
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  things to mess with you on purpose.
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  So are you if you have narcissist or not, are you OK
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  with the behaviors? Because most people are not OK
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  with the behaviors, but you don't know how to leave that.
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  And that's understandable. Like leaving is a whole
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  different video. Leaving a narcissist is an
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  entirely different video that deserves more than the 3-4
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  minutes I got left on here on this video.
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  But this is what you're going to go through.
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  This is who you're going to face.
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  This is what's going to happen when you are battling A
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  narcissistic person like they're going to treat you badly.
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  But then it doesn't always stay bad.
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  Once they start treating you badly, it doesn't always stay
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  bad. And again, that's where it can
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  be confusing because they're no longer treating you because they
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  treated you badly. They're doing horrible stuff to
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  you. They lying to you, they
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  manipulating you, putting your hands on you, they cheat on you,
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  whatever, right? Then all sudden they start being
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  good. They go through a good phase
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  right after the silent treatment.
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  They're love bombing you again. And then they're grazing out on
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  you. Then they're silent treatment
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  again. Then they're love bombing you
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  again. It's a cycle of narcissistic
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  abuse and most people, from what I've seen, go through more than
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  one cycle of narcissistic abuse in the same relationship.
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  This is what goes on right here. Most people go through more than
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  one cycle. Oh goodness, what the hell just
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  happened? Sorry, I don't know what it is.
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  Hold on, let me stop. Let me stop this real quick.
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  Honestly enough. But I was like, what the hell
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  just happened? Just scared me.
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  Most people go through more than one cycle in the same
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  relationship and it's tough and it's tough to even reconcile
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  with because you're going to go through multiple cycles until
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  you put an end to it. Because narcissistic people, not
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  all of them, typically they're going to come back as many times
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  as you allow them to come back. They're going to allow them.
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  If you allow them to come back into your life and in the way
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  that they want to come back, you're going to, it's going to
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  take a long time to heal. Y'all.
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  I talk to people all the time and I'm going to end it with
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  this right here, y'all. This is my my conclusion, my
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  closing statement right here. I talk to people all the time
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  that are so close to getting out of touch relationship.
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  They're just you got to push through like you probably one or
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  two steps away and then you make one error in judgment.
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  Go back to them, talk to them, hang out with them, break no
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  contact and it cost you years of healing years.
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  It can set you back years. And that's what it's
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  heartbreaking. But I've been having to
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  disconnect 'cause I say I'm the only thing I can do is when I'm
• 11:12
  doing my one on ones over Zoom and I'm talking to people over
• 11:15
  Zoom and I'm coaching people over Zoom.
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  I do my support groups, everything's at
• 11:18
  mentalillness.net. What I'm doing, what I'm talking
• 11:20
  to people. The only thing I can do is give
• 11:22
  you all the information that I have.
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  You have to apply it. So I'm talking to people and
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  they're close to getting out of it.
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  And do they make that 1 error that sets them back years?
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  That's heartbreaking y'all. And it can be depressing as hell
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  to the people who are doing it. Like when you make one mistake,
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  break, break no contact, you give up, you go sleep with them,
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  you do something, you do something like it can cost you
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  years and that it ain't worth it.
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  It ain't worth it. So when you leave in touch
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  relationships, you need to have discipline.
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  You have to have discipline. It is Discipline is a non
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  negotiable prerequisite to healing from narcissistic abuse.
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  You absolutely need this. You absolutely have to have it.
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  You cannot. Just like I'm going to be
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  disciplined sometimes and other times I'm going to give them
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  accent that y'all, I want you and y'all can feel here.
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  You can't hear the passion of my voice right now.
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  I don't know what to tell you. I want y'all to win, but I
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  cannot want you to win more than you want yourself to win.
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  So when you, if you don't want to win, you go back to them and
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  you lose over and over again and your kids are watching your kids
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  watching you be unhappy. Your kids are watching you give
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  it up. Your kids are watching you go
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  back and forth to toxicity. This is why I'm just like I want
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  y'all to win my camera. Don't want y'all to win my
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  camera, don't want y'all to win my camera.
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  Like cut it off anyways, y'all. Discipline.
• 12:43
  I'm working on my new course. How to leave a narcissist.
• 12:46
  It's coming soon y'all. It's coming soon.
• 12:48
  Mental illness.net for everything.
• 12:49
  Hit the subscribe button y'all. We like literally so close to
• 12:54
  500,000 in my new series. My new storytelling series is
• 12:58
  coming soon. If you want to send your story
• 13:00
  in to be animated and told in my own fashion, send it in to
• 13:03
  info@mentalillness.net. Send me the stories in.
• 13:07
  I'm going to break it down. The first one is going to be
• 13:08
  released this week. So anyway, y'all hit the
• 13:11
  subscribe button, I'm out. Peace.