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Unmasking Strength: Eran's Battle with Addiction and Triumph in Veteran Sobriety · Your Thoughts Your Reality

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with Michael Cole, the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Michael is a dual elite certified neuro encoding specialist in coaching and keynote training presentations dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles procrastination, self-doubt, fear and more.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Hello, hello, hello everybody.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: Hey.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: So today I have a very special guest, a longtime friend.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: We've known each other for what?
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: 20 years, I believe it's been fantastic.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: So you know Aaron again, dear friend, has military service, been in the military Air Force 35 years.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: Clean and sober.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: He's a certified drug and alcohol counselor and father and uncle served in World War II.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: So I want to go through some great questions and really want to dive into this, but before we do, aaron, why don't you tell us a little more about yourself?
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: A little bit more about myself.
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: So you named some of it.
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: You know I have 35 years continuous sobriety.
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: I am a certified drug and alcohol counselor.
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: I am very active in my sobriety.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: I am a counselor at Recovery and Action Services in Diamond Springs.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: You know, I did four years in the Air Force and got out because I had orders to Turkey and I was a drug addict so I knew I was not going to make it out of Turkey.
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: That's a bad combination.
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: Yes, that's a bad combination.
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: Yes, that was a bad combination.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: But I have a whole lot of life experience.
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: I got education, but I think it's a life experience that makes it all Absolutely so.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: I, you know, beg to differ, but I say you have plenty, plenty of expertise.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: Beg to differ, but I say you have plenty of expertise.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: So you know that life experience same with me.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: You know I'm vulnerable here, but you know I didn't get through the first semester of high school, went back and did my GED, you know, without studying, just went and passed the test and all that fun stuff.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: But you know it wasn't education that got me where I am in life.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: It's learning from people, it's learning from mistakes and moving forward in life.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: So I think we both got lots of expertise.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: We've known each other a long time Fantastic.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: So can you share a little bit about your background and what led you to join the Air Force in the first?
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: place.
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: Well, that's an interesting story.
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: Uh, well, that's an interesting story.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: I like interesting stories.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: So, yes, both my uh, my dad and my uncle were in world war ii, but you need to know very much like that's today.
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: They didn't talk about it, right, okay?
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: So they came home and there wasn't any talking about it, which is sad, because I think you can heal through doing that.
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: However, that being said, I had a four-year scholarship to Ohio State and my girlfriend at the time committed suicide at Ohio State and I couldn't go and I was getting in trouble.
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: I'm from a small town back in Ohio, a farming town, you know.
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: So I'm like I turned the scholarship down and I'm like, and I'm into my drugs, my alcohol, and I'm like what am I going to do, man, I'm going to end up being a factory worker.
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: And I went away.
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: I said I didn't even tell my parents, I left In Ohio.
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: You got to go.
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: I went away.
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: I said I didn't even tell my parents I left in Ohio.
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: You got to go to Kentucky to enlist Overnight enlisted, came back, told my mom, said I'm leaving in a couple of weeks, she goes.
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: Where are you going?
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: I said I joined the Air Force.
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: That went over.
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: Well, yeah, she's like what?
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and it was the best thing I could have done.
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: It got me out of ohio, which is, I mean, I love ohio.
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: I'd probably move back there today, but you know, um it, I was going nowhere and I knew it, you know.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: And I got a great job.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: You, it was 1980.
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: The computers were just coming in.
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: I was a computer programmer at NASA, oh wow.
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: And so I met.
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: It was a great, great experience for me.
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: But you need to know I was in the depths of my drug addiction and alcoholism, right, and they worked with me, sent me to rehab, all that kind of stuff, but it was a great experience for me.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: Can I ask you a question with with that?
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: First of all, I never knew that story so we just need to get you on the podcast more to get some of those other stories, I don't know, somehow.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: So when they sent you and worked with you, did it work the first time?
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: And I know we're going?
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: You know kind of off what we talked about, but I'm curious did it work the first time?
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: And if not, what was it that made it?
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: What was the leverage?
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: You got over your self-reliance to make it stick?
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, no, it didn't't work.
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: It was my first rehab.
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: Um, it was like 1981 and from the time I got sober in 1989, I had been to eight rehabs.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: Got it.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: So, no, it did not work.
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: And what was the sticking point?
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: I am the foggiest idea.
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: Okay, I had nine drunk drivings and this is the 80s.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: If it was today I'd be in prison.
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: Still, I had nine drunk drivings and in 1989 I got completely out of my brain drunk and that was my bottom.
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: I can't tell you why that particular time time I just knew that spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally, I was done.
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: I think that was it yeah you.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: You found the leverage on yourself saying I'm done and I've got to make a life change.
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: I think again.
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: No, I'm just teasing, that's not funny.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: I'm calling you every day after this, just so you know to check in with you.
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: No way.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: No, I know that, I know that.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: And we've joked.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: And again, everybody this is a dear friend.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: I mean, we've known each other for so many years and the backbone to our relationship really is joking and comedy.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: Right, I mean, we've known each other for so many years and the backbone to our relationship really is joking and comedy.
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: Right, I mean just having fun with each other and appreciating who we are.
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: This man right here is not relapsing at birth.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: So how has your experience as a certified drug and alcohol counselor shaped your approach to helping others?
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: You know, okay, so I I come from the 12-step background.
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: Okay, there's a lot of different programs out there.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: You just need to know is that where I come from?
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: So I come from the 12-step fellowship.
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: So I did a lot of sponsoring and a lot of working with people through alcoholics anonymous, um, and then Alcoholics Anonymous.
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: And then we have a ranch and so all the kids went away and we were kind of left with this ranch and what are we going to do?
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: And we started a transitional living up here.
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: And that really was the catalyst because people would come, they would go.
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: Catalyst because, um, you know, people would come, they would go, they would drink, they would use.
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: And then, um, we started the outpatient program and so me getting certified it was, it was the state of california that said I had to be certified, okay, in order to do this.
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: But what I do with fellow alcoholics and addicts, I mean they help me every day more than I think that they help, that I help them.
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: You know, I got the life experience, I got the long-term sobriety, I got a little bit more of my toolkit, you know, but they're the ones that keep me alive, I'm telling you.
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: So what was the catalyst of it all?
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: You know, I think I just needed to get certified.
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: But I have no intentions of not working with people, you know because, because, oh my God, mike, if I could teach about alcoholism in the schools or drug addiction in the schools, I think it would make so much difference.
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: In fact, I'm in the process.
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: Well, we are in the process of actually developing a youth program up here in Placerville and I'm so stoked because youth is my passion.
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: You know, I taught at a juvenile hall facility and it closed down a couple of years ago, but it was like if you could just just plant the seed and water it.
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: You know, and yeah, yeah, literally.
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: We have some colleagues and friends with the Neurocoding Institute specifically and otherwise, but they work with kids and they actually have a huge thing they're working on right now with the educational system not in California specifically, but they're doing some major things, which is absolutely fantastic.
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: If you can get the kids, how does that change their lives?
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: How does that change their kids' lives?
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: And it just continues generationally.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: So it's fantastic.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: Let's talk about that off camera when we're done.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: Let's kind of go through some of that stuff.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: I may have some ideas for you.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, and thank you for doing that.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: I mean going and just helping people and what I mean it makes us.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: And I relate significantly to what you're saying, because I'm the same, you know, when you have that group and I'm just going to use a podcast for it, because yesterday afternoon I was sitting here and I was going through all of the conversations and and um a podcast that I did of your, I think number 26 or 27, I think and I was just looking back and I was just got in this mode of gratefulness, man, that it was like holy crap.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: You know, I started this to help other people, but how much has it helped me too, you, yeah, the amazing conversations, the realizations, it's just a beautiful thing.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: So it's it's we get as much as we give, and it's it's a beautiful thing.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: Reciprocity, amen, love it.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: So what specific challenges I'm gonna?
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna flip this to veterans specifically, and their families for that matter, because we forget about the well, we't forget necessarily, but we don't talk about as much the unseen or the silent heroes of the families.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: And it affects military service, affects the whole unit.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: So, whether it's mom and dad or uncle or brother is gone and they're missing them, or the other way around, and then when they come back for and or the other way around, and then when they come back for the transition, everybody's changed, you know, and then it's hard to sometimes reconnect Not always, I'm not making a blanket statement, but I've seen it more often than not that that transition.
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: That's why that's my focus.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: What, what do you see as far as drug and alcoholism, with transitioning back into the family unit for both aspects, what do you see as some of the triggers?
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: And or, potentially, when you see the trigger, even more so, where do they reach out?
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: What's a great place to start when they say, hey, man, I'm, my camaraderie is gone, I'm by myself, I'm going to just drink tonight, things like that.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: What?
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: What do you see as triggers and or solutions?
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: Triggers, man Triggers such a precarious word, because everything's a trigger.
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: Um say, you're coming home and, uh, you just don't fit in.
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: And you're doing tours, you have that friendship over there, and then you get back home and you're lost.
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: The problem is, I've worked with vets, and it's not easy, and my heart goes out to them truly.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: There are resources, though, that are available that isn't just through the VA, but what do you do?
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: In the moment?
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: It's like, the very first thing is you've got to acknowledge that you're in trouble here.
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'm in trouble here.
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'm in trouble, I'm bored.
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: I'm not the same person, you know, it doesn't.
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: You know, being able to acknowledge that something's going on, that's huge.
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: That is the biggest part I'm going to tell you.
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: The biggest part is I'm in trouble, my children are being affected, my wife is being affected, and and what do I do, you know?
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: And and it's, there's a sadness that comes with coming home and trying to adjust back in.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: I got to tell you I didn't go back home.
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I knew I was going back to where I was going to go, you know.
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: So I stayed in california, you know.
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: But to be able to say I'm in trouble, I need help, you know, and then tell someone you know, so we get that stuff.
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: Addiction lies in the brain, okay, proven, scientifically proven.
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: And so then you know, I just I feel like to be able to say to somebody and reach out and get help.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: Now, the reaching out part is not always easy, you know, we're kind of arrogant.
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: People Just is, you know, it isn't just the person with a substance use disorder, it's, you know, vets.
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we're pretty arrogant, you know, and we're taught not to talk and not to share.
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: And how do I get past that one ego, cause it truly is ego.
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: I got mine, and then the other one, and the other one is the being drilled in to not share our feelings.
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: You know, specifically men but please, women are the same way, you know, um, they just have a little bit of a more of a softer heart, and that's my truth.
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: Um, no misogyny here, okay, just uh.
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: And and then to get past that stigma of being able to share and and, and I, and I don't feel like talk therapy is, is always the way to go, okay, because.
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: And so there's the other thing that I would go into is that you know, there are a whole lot of other therapies that have worked for me.
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: Where talk therapy does not Okay Like I do brain spotting or no brain stopping you um, and I do emdr and you know there are a lot of different types where I don't just have to sit there and talk yeah, can you go into the brain stopping?
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: what is that specifically?
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: it's really cool, okay, so, uh, you're the neuro guy, not me, but what I do know is I'm curious.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: I'm curious, erin, if there's the same thing we do as a stop technique, or okay, okay so here you go.
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: So you know that the neuro, your brain, is full of highways, right, highways, okay, neuro.
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: So brain stomping is.
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: They do a pointer and they point to a wall and then they say and then you go here, how do you feel here, how do you feel here?
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: And that pointer is moved, and then all of a sudden you're at this spot and you go oh my god, something's going on and it's some kind of a memory that comes in, right, and then you can talk about it and kind of process it out a little bit.
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: And then from there they move the pointer again and says okay, how's this, how are you feeling, how's that work?
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: And then you work on closing that neural pathway, that highway, right, it's worked for PTSD, for me.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: Fantastic.
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's not the same, so thank you for talking about it.
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: So it is somewhat similar in some aspects to EMDR.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: It is, yeah, interesting.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd like to talk more about that again later and hear more about that.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: I'm not familiar with it that specifically and I'd love to learn more yeah, really it's a.
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: It's a good thing, but there's a lot of different resources because we go in there and it's like if you got a great therapist, then they can work it, you know, and yet, be honest with you, there are therapists out there that aren't great, yeah, you know.
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: So you know, recognizing that in something's going on, find somebody to work through it with, right, whether it's a therapist, whether it's a counselor, like in recovery services, whether it's a minister, you know, a best friend, it doesn't matter.
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: But you got to talk to somebody.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: Absolutely A mentor, a coach, any of those, um, but but talk to somebody, because when you don't talk, then it just gets worse.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, when you sit in your shit, as I call it, yeah, pardon the french, but when you sit in it it just starts to build and build and build and it just gets worse.
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: So, and again, that's you thoughts, your reality.
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: So, if you believe something, it's your reality.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: That's why you see certain people from the same background.
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: Some will.
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: You know the definition of the experience that we give it and that helps a lot with PTSD as well.
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: When they, when they change the definition of that experience, it changes the reality of it.
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: That experience, it changes the reality of it and has dramatic help for PTSD and other things like that.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: So reach out.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: I'm going to go back to also what you said conditioning for military.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: Everybody has that, I think, as human beings to some extent.
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: But military condition don't ask for help, figure it out yourself.
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: You know, and I hear this over and over and over it's the same story with everybody I talk to.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: You know it's the same story.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: So when, when you're reaching out for help, it's not a weakness, it's one of the most courageous things you can do literally for yourself and for your family and your future family Right, great points.
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: Thank you Appreciate you bringing that stuff up here Fantastic.
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: Can you discuss the importance of asking for help in the recovery process and how veterans can overcome the stigma associated with it?
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: So I just want to kind of continue what we were just talking about.
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: Any pointers or thoughts there.
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: As far as it's just a stigma, it's not necessarily reality.
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: That asking for help is a weakness yeah, asking for help.
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: But how do you really get through that?
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: You know it is.
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: You know Toltec talks about.
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: We're domesticated, right, and so you know we've been told to not ask for help.
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: We can do this, we can get through this, we're strong, right and truthfully, strength is saying I'm in trouble, I need to change, I want to change, I need help.
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: But yet how do you really get through that?
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: I really think you just get God.
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: This is terrible, but I don't have any magical answers except for just do.
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: Just do, just call someone.
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: Just look if you, if you can't like actually go in someplace a recovery centers, va or something use the telephone, right, people on the other end of the telephone in our industry are very kind.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: How can I help you?
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: How can you know?
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: And just kind of be soft and they'll work with them.
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: You know I want people to be able to ask for help before it's too late.
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: You know, maybe they're not addicted yet and they need help.
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: Let us help you before you.
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: It's called crossover the invisible line, that's, before you cross into the actual substance use disorder, the disease of alcoholism or drug addiction.
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: You know we can help you before you go there.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: You know, but how do we get you there?
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: How do we get you to say I need help?
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: So can I?
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: Can I add on to that a little bit?
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: Thank you for what you said.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: So what if I'm going to give a tip?
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: Okay, you think you have a problem, you're concerned, you have a problem, start there, reach out.
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: Hey, this is what I'm going through.
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: What do you think and I'm going to give a tip here as well is if you are struggling to make that call or to reach out to someone, or talk to your friend, or whatever the case may be, because you're afraid of that judgment.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: One of the 10 thieves of our dreams is judgment, you know, fear of rejection, fear of failure.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: There's, there's 10 of them.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: I'm not gonna go through them all right now, but if you can just change your physiology and what that means is stand up, put your shoulders back, take a deep breath, put a damn smile on your face because when you do that it releases all kinds of different hormones and then just take that one action.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: Take the one action, make the one call, send one text if that's easier, but take one action right then, and then pat yourself on the back, smile it's called astitude Get up and shake your ass.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: You cannot be upset, angry or anything else If you have those hormones going through your body that they're saying I did something good, I feel good, same as eating chocolate, having sex.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: All those hormones are released when you're doing those things.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: And who doesn't like chocolate and sex?
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: So if you can get yourself, I can't believe.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: I just said that on here.
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: I can't either.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: Hey, it's all real here and we're not editing things FYI.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: But if you can take that second and get there, pat yourself on the back and celebrate you took one step, one action.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: Guess what?
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: The next step, the next action, is going to get you further and it's going to be easier to do it Because your brain is going to say ooh, I liked it the first time, so it'll come easier.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: So, again, change your physiology Again, shoulders back, deep breath, stand up, do whatever you need to do to get yourself in a resourceful state for a second, and take that action, celebrated because the next one becomes easier and easier.
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: It's called getting uncomfortable to be comfortable.
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: Because, guess what, how many times have you looked back in your life and you've said, man, I can't believe I did that and it's so easy now?
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: It's because you got uncomfortable to be comfortable.
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: You know the first podcast I did the first time.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: I did lives.
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: I didn't do this stuff a year and a half ago or whatever it was.
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: I never did this stuff, but it's comfortable now because I've done it and I've celebrated, I've conditioned myself, which is what you guys need to do, like ladies, guys, whatever the case may be, you need to recondition yourself to your new life, and these are some simple, simple tips.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: I just needed to get that out there.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry I didn't mean to.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: No, it's good, good stuff.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, excellent, and thank you again for what you said.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: So what strategies would you recommend for veterans and their families who are struggling to kind of re-engage with the family and society after deployment?
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: And that could be, you know, like my friend, retired Lieutenant Colonel Tina Parker, it was 23 years, you know, I mean.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: So it could be two years, it could be 23 years, it could be 40 years.
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: What are some thoughts going around that, if you can, just to kind of get those steps to re-engage?
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: We always forget about the families and yet they're more impacted sometimes than the vet is.
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: So okay.
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: So I believe in like-minded Okay.
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: So get out there and be a.
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: You know there are so many different groups that you can get involved in.
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: Okay, there are, you know.
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: The BA has all their groups and you just sit down and you need to talk.
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: But then in that process you start to meet new friends on the outside.
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: New friend has a wife, the wife is going to meet your wife, they got.
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: They got baseball teams that are started.
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: They got bowling teams that are started.
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: You know they have.
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: I mean, you got to find like-minded people, okay, whether that's in in in in the, you know drug addiction and alcohol, or that's just coming home and trying to, you know, reunify with your family and stuff.
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: But we have to.
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: You know human beings are pack animals.
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: Okay, we're not meant to do life alone ever.
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: So we have to find people that we can relate to and get back involved, and the only way that I know how to do it is, one more time, just do so.
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, hold your head up, walk out that door, go in there and you know it's like okay, so my son's an amputee, recent amputee, and I'm like, dude, it's the same kind of principle you got to find, go to a group.
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: From that group, you're going to find resources.
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: You know, get involved in in your wheelchair, cause he just got his leg.
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: You know, go out there and exercise.
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: I don't care what you find, what you like to do and you and your spouse like to do, or your family, right, and then get involved.
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: Today is a crazy time in our life.
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: I didn't have this when I was younger, but you have these things called apps and there are so many apps and this Facebook has groups and it's like you can get involved.
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: Just got to do it.
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: Oh man, I love you.
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: You're awesome.
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: Speaking of apps, hey, we're almost out of time here, so I just wanted to bring up on the top right-hand corner.
• 27:53
  Speaker 2: Here is the blue QR code, everybody.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: If you're listening on the podcast forums later on and can't see the video or scan the QR code, first of all scan the QR code if you can.
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: If not, empowerperformancestrategiescom Again empowerperformancestrategiescom Free resources.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: I've written some free e-books for veterans and their families.
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: I've got a couple more coming out shortly.
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: You teaser, but there's two Facebook groups.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: We have one for veterans, one for families.
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: Get in there and join.
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: Join a tribe, whether it be ours.
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: Just like Aaron was saying and I'm just putting a bow on this, what Aaron was just saying, he brings up an amazing point Get involved, get active with people that are like-minded.
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: Before I joined the Neuron Coding Institute, I mean honestly, I was kind of lost for a little while and I was struggling in life.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: And when I joined that tribe, that family, it changed everything.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: It changed everything.
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: My wife I remember one morning or one day I should say just saying my wife, I remember one morning or one day I should say just saying you're glowing, you're alive again, and that was pivotal for me and it was such an amazing moment the realization of I found one of my tribes, and you can have multiple, so find a tribe, find those people that you are like-minded with, and find people that raise you up, don't bring you down and don't keep you at the same level.
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: That is super important, especially the close ones, the ones that matter to you.
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: So, um, that's what I got.
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: So, aaron, this has been amazing.
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: Honestly, I've really appreciated the time.
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: You know, as humans, this is our most precious resource, right, it's time we don't get it back, so thank you for spending this 30 minutes with us.
• 29:37
  Speaker 2: It's been fantastic, truly.
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: I was a nervous wreck, so thank you Fantastic, wouldn't even have known it, wouldn't even have known it.
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: So, if we can, if we can share three tips to get veterans and their families further faster.
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: I don't know about three tips, but this is what I can tell you.
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: This one I don't know about three tips, but this is what I can tell you.
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: One I know that we made it sound easy today.
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: It's not easy, okay, so get involved.
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: Okay, we have something kind of like Michael was talking about.
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: It's called fake it till you make it.
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: So hold your head up, hold your shoulders back and walk forward, okay.
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: And if you guys out there anybody needs help, I'm going to tell you guys, you can get a hold of me.
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: My business is called Recovery in Action.
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: The number is 530-344-7633.
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: Call, I'll help you out any way I can.
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: Amen, you can do it guys.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: That's it.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: That sounded like three.
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: Take the action, call me, do it.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: There you go.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: That's fantastic, all right, everybody.
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: So again, thank you truly for the time and everybody for joining us, and we are out of here, see you guys, thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of your Thoughts your Reality podcast with your host, michael Cole.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: We hope the conversation sparked some thoughts that resonate with you.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: To dive deeper into empowering your thoughts and enhancing your reality, visit empowerperformancestrategiescom.
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: Remember your thoughts shape your reality, so make them count.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: Catch you on the next episode.