Latest / I Do, Part 2 / Introducing our Golden Who is…Famously Available

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Introducing our Golden Who is…Famously Available · I Do, Part 2

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Speaker 1: iHeart Podcasts bring you the ultimate Summer of love Tree.
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Speaker 1: This is Famously Available. Welcome back to Famously Available. I'm
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Speaker 1: your host, Ben Higgins, and on this podcast, I have
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Speaker 1: the pleasure of getting to do a deeper dive into
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Speaker 1: the love lives of some incredible single women. You've gotten
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Speaker 1: to know them through Bachelor Nation, but this time they're
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Speaker 1: taking control of their love lives and putting themselves out
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Speaker 1: there to hopefully find their match. We here, famously Available,
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Speaker 1: get to be a part of it. We've already started
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Speaker 1: the journey with Deanna Mercedes, but we told you and
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Speaker 1: hinted at at some point we'd eventually get a golden
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Speaker 1: So now, without further ado, we have three generations of women,
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Speaker 1: all looking for love, and I'm excited to announce our
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Speaker 1: golden famously Available woman is no other than the one
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Speaker 1: we love, the one we support, the one we cherish,
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Speaker 1: the one that we know. Kathy Swartz, Hello, Kathy, Oh
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Speaker 1: my goodness, I'm so good. This This was a journey
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Speaker 1: getting you locked in for this. I remember, Kathy when
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Speaker 1: this whole idea got brought up to you, kind of
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Speaker 1: when we started recording and getting you know, Mercedes and
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Speaker 1: Dianna that you said I want to do this, and
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Speaker 1: due to some hurdles and speed bumps, we couldn't quite
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Speaker 1: make it work. We finally did, But you've been ready
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Speaker 1: for this for a while.
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Speaker 2: That is ultrue true Savings.
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Speaker 1: Today, we're just gonna get to know you better. We
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Speaker 1: know you well. You're very vulnerable, transparent to anybody that
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Speaker 1: listens to your show. But today we're going to kind
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Speaker 1: of dig in a little bit to what this season
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Speaker 1: of life you're most looking forward to when it comes
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Speaker 1: to maybe finding a partner. Kathy, I do want to
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Speaker 1: start though, just to give everybody kind of a recap.
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Speaker 1: You were on the Golden Bachelor. Have you dated since then?
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Speaker 2: Yes, I have unsuccessfully.
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Speaker 1: How unsuccessfully like one date done any like interest, or
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Speaker 1: just how unsuccessfully on.
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Speaker 2: A scale one to ten. Since I'm single, I've given
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Speaker 2: a ten. You know, I've dated. I've had several one
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Speaker 2: time dates. I've had several two time dates. But the
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Speaker 2: thing for me is I'm at a point in my
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Speaker 2: life where I know what I'm looking for, and so
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Speaker 2: you know, I don't spend a lot of time saying
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Speaker 2: we maybe I can make it work. If it doesn't work,
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Speaker 2: it doesn't work.
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Speaker 1: This is going to be a fun show. You know
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Speaker 1: what you're looking for? Then, before we kind of dig
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Speaker 1: into what you're looking for. Now, I do want to
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Speaker 1: take a second. One thing I know about you is
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Speaker 1: you absolutely door your family. You love your family, You
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Speaker 1: love your grandkids. We also became familiar with your love
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Speaker 1: story up until the Golden Bachelor during the Golden Bachelor.
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Speaker 1: For listeners out there who maybe didn't watch that season
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Speaker 1: or just can't remember, can you give us kind of
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Speaker 1: a recap of your love story up until the Golden
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Speaker 1: Bachelor and also a little idea of where your family
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Speaker 1: stands today.
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Speaker 2: So before so, I was married almost forty six years.
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Speaker 2: I met my husband when I just turned eighteen, I
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Speaker 2: got married. I met him at college the first week
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Speaker 2: of university. We were married eighteen months later. I was
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Speaker 2: married almost forty six years. And my husband died by suicide.
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Speaker 2: As I said, almost six years ago or just over
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Speaker 2: six years ago. And my daughter just had a baby,
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Speaker 2: and I was sitting with her in the nick You
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Speaker 2: and scrolling through Facebook book and I saw an advertisement
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Speaker 2: for women sixty five and over for the Golden Batchlman.
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Speaker 2: I thought, why not clicked the button and six weeks
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Speaker 2: later I was in a mansion outside of LA and
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Speaker 2: that was great fun. It was clear really quickly to
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Speaker 2: me that Gary and I were not a nice guy
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Speaker 2: but not my guy. But I had a great time
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Speaker 2: and I made lots of friends and came home from
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Speaker 2: from that show feeling I'm pretty confident I know who
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Speaker 2: I am, and so the show didn't really change me.
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Speaker 2: It just affirmed who I am, and so I came
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Speaker 2: home and when I you know, when I was allowed to,
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Speaker 2: I sort of got back into the dating pool again.
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Speaker 2: Let me underscore unsuccessfully. And my kids, my sons were
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Speaker 2: very supportive of me doing the Bachelor. My daughter thought
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Speaker 2: it was great until they chose me that. She was like, Mom,
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Speaker 2: You're not really doing this, are you. She's now it's
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Speaker 2: been enough time since her dad has passed, and she
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Speaker 2: is now very supportive. All three of my kids are
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Speaker 2: very supportive of me finding somebody.
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Speaker 1: I'm sure, I mean for you. I think the difference
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Speaker 1: with you compared to some of the other golden women
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Speaker 1: I know is you are one that took the chance
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Speaker 1: on yourself. You said, I see this, I want this again,
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Speaker 1: I desire this again. If we can like pull back
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Speaker 1: the layer a bit. Why do you want this again? Like,
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Speaker 1: why are you so intentional on finding your next partner?
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Speaker 2: Well, first of all, it's not my next partner. It's
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Speaker 2: going to be my last partner. But the reason for
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Speaker 2: me is I am an active, I'm fun, I love
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Speaker 2: to laugh, I love to live, and I just think
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Speaker 2: that's better with a partner. I have lots of great friends,
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Speaker 2: but I want someone. You know, it sounds like something
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Speaker 2: out of a Hallmark card, but I want someone to
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Speaker 2: share those sunsets with, someone to travel with, someone to
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Speaker 2: cook dinner with and have a glass of wine while
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Speaker 2: I'm slicing my fingers off cutting cucumbers for the salad.
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Speaker 2: That to me is just it doesn't feel complete. I
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Speaker 2: am complete without a man, but my life doesn't feel
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Speaker 2: complete without a man.
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Speaker 1: And these are things that you've looked for, as you said,
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Speaker 1: since your time on the Golden Gary wasn't your guy,
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Speaker 1: but you came out of it with a ton of friendships.
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Speaker 1: And we also got to see you in Paradise with
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Speaker 1: another friendship. Ye, Kathy, you seem to be really good
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Speaker 1: at building friendships right now? Are you good at the
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Speaker 1: romantic side given the.
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Speaker 2: Chance, Yes, I am I think the thing is the
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Speaker 2: men that I've met Keith on Paradise. He and I
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Speaker 2: are great friends. Talked with him last night on the
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Speaker 2: phone for an hour. We're great friends, but we're not
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Speaker 2: a good romantic match. But I am a you know,
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Speaker 2: people say they're hopeless romantics. I am a hopeful romantic.
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Speaker 2: I believe in love. I believe I'm worthy. All those
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Speaker 2: things that people say, they say them repetitively because they're true.
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Speaker 2: We're all deserving of love. We're all deserving of finding
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Speaker 2: that special person. I just haven't found him.
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Speaker 1: Okay, are you ready to deep dive into this person? Okay,
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Speaker 1: it's kind of going to feel rapid fire. If that's okay,
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Speaker 1: We're just going to kind of bounce around because today
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Speaker 1: is to get to know your type. As our listeners
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Speaker 1: start this whole thing out, let's just start with what
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Speaker 1: usually somebody is most attuned to in the first meeting.
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Speaker 1: What do you find most attractive or what kind of
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Speaker 1: traits do you find attractive physical and also in personality?
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Speaker 2: So easy for me, The first thing that attracts me
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Speaker 2: is a man's eyes and a smile. Don't care of
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Speaker 2: his hair, don't care if he's bald. I'd like to
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Speaker 2: be taller than I am. I want someone who can
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Speaker 2: laugh with me. It's those I don't really want to
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Speaker 2: shine man. I want someone who knows how to have fun,
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Speaker 2: who will listen to me, and it'll be a joint partnership.
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Speaker 1: Okay, I want to push back a little bit on this. Okay,
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Speaker 1: you are not shy. No, I'm not, and you do
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Speaker 1: love to have a good time. I think I said
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Speaker 1: it to Ashley when Kathy's in the room. I also
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Speaker 1: think Susan has this category, this characteristic about her. I
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Speaker 1: love Nancy. She's one of my favorite people I've ever
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Speaker 1: been around. She doesn't have this. I don't have this.
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Speaker 1: So it's not a good or bad. But when you
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Speaker 1: two walk into a room, the energy level gets picked up.
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Speaker 1: It just does. Also, the noise level gets picked up.
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Speaker 1: It does.
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Speaker 2: Guilty on all accounts. Guilty.
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Speaker 1: And as I've witnessed relationships grow, oftentimes it is the shier,
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Speaker 1: more quiet, admiring person that compliments the louder, more energetic human.
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Speaker 1: You're saying you want somebody that can hold his own
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Speaker 1: I'm saying, what if this guy is just the like
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Speaker 1: admirer of your energy and supports you as you continue
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Speaker 1: to pick up a room and he just doesn't take
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Speaker 1: up that much space.
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Speaker 2: So so my husband was that kind of guy, wonderful
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Speaker 2: in every way. But here's the thing, and I say
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Speaker 2: this all the time. If a man says to me, Wow,
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Speaker 2: you're a lot, You're too much, I say, no, No, I'm
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Speaker 2: not too much. You're just not enough for me. I
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Speaker 2: think I can find that because I'm not blowing up
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Speaker 2: a room all the time. I'm not high energy all
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Speaker 2: the time. That's what people see because it's through TV,
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Speaker 2: it's through a podcasts where that's what I'm doing. But
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Speaker 2: believe me, I can settle in in front of a
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Speaker 2: fire with a glass of wine and just have low
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Speaker 2: key conversation be very happy as well. You just have
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Speaker 2: to get to know me first, and therein lies the rub,
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Speaker 2: right because I am a big person. But at the
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Speaker 2: same time, Ben, I can't be what I'm not. I
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Speaker 2: can't be that sweet, chy, demure person because that is
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Speaker 2: an authentic and a guy's going to pick up on
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Speaker 2: that really quickly.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think you should change it all. I
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Speaker 1: love you for who you are and I do think though,
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Speaker 1: there is that ability for somebody not to feel like
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Speaker 1: you're too much, but for the quieter, shier person to
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Speaker 1: never feel like you're too much, but to also never
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Speaker 1: have to meet you where you're at energy level wise,
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Speaker 1: can support you, be there for you, but maybe not
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Speaker 1: have that same boisterous kind of spirit.
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Speaker 2: Yes, to be clear, I'm not looking for Kathy's twin.
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Speaker 2: I'm not looking to look in the mirror and see
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Speaker 2: me in a male form. But I'm looking for someone
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Speaker 2: who has energy, who wants to do things, who has opinions,
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Speaker 2: who we can have intellectual conversation with where we can laugh.
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Speaker 2: So you have to have some amount of personality. I
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Speaker 2: don't want to sit back and quote run the show.
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Speaker 2: I don't want a guy who wants to sit back
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Speaker 2: and let me run the show.
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Speaker 1: No, that's exhausting. It's not a partnership. Has your type
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Speaker 1: evolved over time? This is something I'm intrigued by talking
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Speaker 1: to you. With Mercedes, you know, obviously she's younger, she's
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Speaker 1: still trying to figure this thing out. You know, Dianna
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Speaker 1: is different because she's gone through a divorce and she's
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Speaker 1: trying to do this again, and she's trying to figure
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Speaker 1: out what her type is. Honestly, I think we're all
11:42
Speaker 1: trying to figure it out, and it's kind of fun
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Speaker 1: or interesting to watch that. But you do know, I
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Speaker 1: think what your type is has it changed.
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Speaker 2: It's somewhat. First of all, when I was younger looks,
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Speaker 2: you didn't hear me say he has to have dark hair,
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Speaker 2: or he has to have who He doesn't have to
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Speaker 2: be a specific hight. I like to wear heels. Would
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Speaker 2: be nice if I could get a guy a little
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Speaker 2: taller than I am. But those exterior characteristics at my
12:10
Speaker 2: age means so much less to me now than they
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Speaker 2: used to. And it's their heart, it's their character, it's
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Speaker 2: their integrity. Means so much more to me now. You know,
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Speaker 2: I want a guy who, as I've said it a
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Speaker 2: million times, who wants me for me, who wakes up
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Speaker 2: every day next to me and looks at me and says, Wow,
12:31
Speaker 2: how do we get so lucky at this stage of
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Speaker 2: our life. You didn't hear me say, you know, he's
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Speaker 2: got curly black hair, or he had a particular profession.
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Speaker 2: I think at my age, I am financially set. I
12:45
Speaker 2: have three kids, I have two grandchildren. I'm not looking
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Speaker 2: for a guy to build a family with. I'm looking
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Speaker 2: for a guy that has his family. I have my family,
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Speaker 2: and we will integrate our families together.
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Speaker 1: It's a it's an interesting situation or path you're in. Now,
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Speaker 1: what if this guy doesn't have a family. Is that
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Speaker 1: a red flag? Okay, no, it's.
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Speaker 2: A red flag. I won't date. I dated a man
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Speaker 2: once who had never been married. I won't do that again.
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Speaker 2: Interesting why because the man what I found was and
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Speaker 2: I realized that's not fair. Maybe to throw all men
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Speaker 2: in a barrel, but because he had never been married,
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Speaker 2: everything revolved around him fair enough. His life. Dislikes his travel,
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Speaker 2: his home. He didn't really want to make space to
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Speaker 2: to coordinate a life lack of a better word. With me,
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Speaker 2: someone who doesn't have children, that doesn't bother me because
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Speaker 2: you don't know maybe they really wanted children. I've dated
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Speaker 2: men who don't have children, but they're very close with
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Speaker 2: their nieces and nephews. The interesting thing that you haven't
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Speaker 2: asked me yet, which I I find so interesting given
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Speaker 2: the golden bachelor or scenario, what we've been through. And
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Speaker 2: I've said this from the beginning, I'm the girl that'll move.
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Speaker 2: I will move to be with a guy because that's
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Speaker 2: what our plans are for I can come back and
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Speaker 2: spend a week a month with my kids and my grandkids.
14:17
Speaker 2: I'm the very one who will move.
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Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, that's a conversation we've heard so many
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Speaker 1: times come up from the Golden Bachelor, and you're one
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Speaker 1: of the onlies that have said it openly, like I
14:30
Speaker 1: would move.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I would.
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Speaker 1: I don't even know if that was a question I
14:34
Speaker 1: was going to ask, But I think I'm interested in why.
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Speaker 1: I mean, you have your house, ye, you have your
14:40
Speaker 1: you know, you have your own rhythms, your own friendships.
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Speaker 1: Why would you be interested in moving?
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Speaker 2: Because I don't. First of all, I don't believe long
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Speaker 2: distance relationships work. I think they're fun, and I think
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Speaker 2: they're exciting, and I think but that to me is
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Speaker 2: not the committed relationship I'm looking for. I'm not saying
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Speaker 2: that doesn't work for some people. That is not the
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Speaker 2: relationship I want. So, you know, if when I said
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Speaker 2: I would move, I would keep my house. We could
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Speaker 2: go back and forth. In other words, at our age,
15:12
Speaker 2: we're not raising children. I don't have to get my
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Speaker 2: son to baseball practice. We're more fluid. We can go
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Speaker 2: his place, my place, but people who are very fixcated
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Speaker 2: on staying in their location. I don't really get that personally.
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Speaker 1: The part here that I think I relate with and
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Speaker 1: I get it. I hear what you're saying. If somebody
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Speaker 1: hasn't been married. I was even nervous about this. You know.
15:37
Speaker 1: I had met my wife in my late twenties. We
15:42
Speaker 1: dated for a few years, we got engaged, COVID hit
15:44
Speaker 1: and so we were together a long time. I mean
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Speaker 1: I felt like I was single or not married for
15:53
Speaker 1: a long period of my life. And I told my
15:56
Speaker 1: wife this when we got engaged. I said, there are
15:58
Speaker 1: things that I just do because I've never had to
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Speaker 1: ask anyone. I live alone, I have my job, I
16:08
Speaker 1: travel when I want. You know, I don't have these
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Speaker 1: responsibilities over these people. And that's going to be a
16:13
Speaker 1: hard kind of like ripping away at me at certain
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Speaker 1: things because of the rhythm and the period of time
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Speaker 1: in my life that I've just done this. I have
16:22
Speaker 1: to learn what it's like to be in relationship because
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Speaker 1: I hadn't been. So I get it. I mean, goodness,
16:28
Speaker 1: you give me sixty years of that, seventy years of that.
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Speaker 1: That's a long time.
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Speaker 2: But here's the thing. You ask me how I'm different.
16:36
Speaker 2: Another way, I am extremely different from when I was younger.
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Speaker 2: I am so much more flexible now, you know, the
16:46
Speaker 2: little things just don't matter any more to me, and
16:48
Speaker 2: the older I get, the bigger things become smaller and smaller.
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Speaker 2: I just don't care. Oh you really want to do that?
16:55
Speaker 2: Where before I might have put up a fighter or
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Speaker 2: say no, no, no, and try to try to get
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Speaker 2: into it. Who cares? Life is short? I mean, I say,
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Speaker 2: I'm just filled with these little pithy otages, you know, quotes,
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Speaker 2: but I just don't care. Do I have to live
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Speaker 2: with a man twenty four to seven? No, But I'm
17:14
Speaker 2: open to exploring various ways of making a relationship work.
17:20
Speaker 2: What I'm not willing to do is have a relationship
17:23
Speaker 2: where I see, I'm making this up, see a guy
17:26
Speaker 2: two weekends a month, because that, to me, is for me,
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Speaker 2: is not the relationship I want. And in terms of evolving,
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Speaker 2: that is one of the biggest changes in me. I'm
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Speaker 2: just so much more flexible than I used to be.
17:41
Speaker 2: And people talk about the you know, compromise, you have
17:44
Speaker 2: to compromise in a relationship. I've said this repeatedly. Yes,
17:49
Speaker 2: you have to compromise, you also have to sacrifice. And
17:53
Speaker 2: my same example is if I'm red and you're blue,
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Speaker 2: sometimes it's going to be red and sometimes it's going
18:01
Speaker 2: to be blue. Well, if I want it to be
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Speaker 2: red and it's blue, that is sacrifice, that's not compromise.
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Speaker 2: I am sacrificing what I want for you, the red
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Speaker 2: and blue. The compromises when you mix the pap two
18:12
Speaker 2: colors together and you get purple. And I think sometimes
18:15
Speaker 2: people forget that. But at my age, I am so
18:18
Speaker 2: much more willing to sacrifice and compromise than I was
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Speaker 2: when I was younger.
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Speaker 1: I mean, tell me if I'm wrong. I'm just trying
18:25
Speaker 1: to I'm always wrong, Goodness, ask my wife. Like if
18:29
Speaker 1: we're summarizing the conversation at this point, one of the
18:33
Speaker 1: things that you are are most looking forward to when
18:36
Speaker 1: it comes to this final partner is experiences, the compromise,
18:43
Speaker 1: the sacrifice. But these experiences, it feels like you have
18:47
Speaker 1: this deep desire to explore the world with a curiosity
18:54
Speaker 1: that has not gone away, with an excitement that has
18:56
Speaker 1: not gone away. And as much fun as that is
18:58
Speaker 1: to do with friends and to do alone, you're really
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Speaker 1: wanting somebody to get out into the world with to
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Speaker 1: do these things that you've dreamed of, planned for, thought about.
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Speaker 2: Yes, and I've traveled a lot. The other thing, then,
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Speaker 2: is I have a lot of energy. I walk five
19:20
Speaker 2: miles a day, I kayak, I work out with weights.
19:22
Speaker 2: I do a lot of things that a lot of
19:25
Speaker 2: people my age don't do. And so that has been
19:28
Speaker 2: a problem for me to find someone who, in equal
19:31
Speaker 2: measure has not just an adventurous spirit, but the physicality
19:36
Speaker 2: to actually do those things.
19:49
Speaker 1: We've seen you obviously on the Golden Bachelor, We've seen
19:51
Speaker 1: you on Paradise. I don't think Paradise was fair to
19:55
Speaker 1: be to make a judgment calm, because there wasn't a
19:58
Speaker 1: plethora of men coming on the beach. But you have
20:03
Speaker 1: gotten to watch now the Golden Bachelorette with Joan. Is
20:09
Speaker 1: there any guys that kind of stood out to you
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Speaker 1: from Gary, I guess we'll throw him in the pot
20:16
Speaker 1: two then the Paradise into all these other men who
20:19
Speaker 1: maybe got wrapped up in relationships and couldn't come to Paradise.
20:22
Speaker 1: Is there anybody on those shows that have stood up
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Speaker 1: to you so far.
20:26
Speaker 2: That I would date?
20:27
Speaker 1: Yeah?
20:28
Speaker 2: No, I love c k and I are extremely good friends.
20:32
Speaker 2: I love him, we talk all the time, but you know,
20:37
Speaker 2: he's moving I believe into a relationship, and Keith and
20:41
Speaker 2: I are really good friends. But no, and to be fair,
20:45
Speaker 2: many of those guys are in relationships with women, and
20:50
Speaker 2: a lot of those women are quite a bit younger
20:52
Speaker 2: than they are. I am not going to apologize for
20:55
Speaker 2: who I am, or my age or anything else. It's
20:58
Speaker 2: just not a good match. Joan is what is She's
21:01
Speaker 2: sixty two, I think, and so her bevy, if you will,
21:06
Speaker 2: her stable of men were young. And our culture, whether
21:12
Speaker 2: I like it or not, I'm not complaining our culture is.
21:16
Speaker 2: It takes a special guy who's willing to date an
21:18
Speaker 2: older woman. My son got married two years ago to
21:21
Speaker 2: a woman ten years older than he, but that's unusual,
21:25
Speaker 2: and so for me there's a disparity. There's a disconnect
21:28
Speaker 2: between my age and my energy level.
21:31
Speaker 1: Would you be willing to date younger?
21:34
Speaker 2: Oh? Absolutely, I think I'm going to have to because
21:37
Speaker 2: well I shouldn't that it's not like a punishment. I
21:39
Speaker 2: would prefer to date younger because they're going to have
21:45
Speaker 2: theoretically more energy and more desire and willingness to travel.
21:49
Speaker 2: You've heard my thing ben about used to guys. You
21:53
Speaker 2: know that as they get older men, you know, do
21:56
Speaker 2: you kayact? Do you snow? Ski? Oh? I used to ski,
22:00
Speaker 2: used to play tennis? I used to And I call
22:02
Speaker 2: them used to guys because now they sit on the
22:04
Speaker 2: couch with a baseball hat turned backwards with a can
22:09
Speaker 2: of bear in their hands.
22:11
Speaker 1: So would you get older.
22:13
Speaker 2: If they have the energy? Age to me really is
22:17
Speaker 2: just I don't care. I don't want to date a
22:19
Speaker 2: guy who's working full time because then you're limited in
22:22
Speaker 2: what you can do.
22:24
Speaker 1: Okay, so you need So we're looking for somebody retired
22:28
Speaker 1: or partially retired with time on their hands. Who has energy.
22:32
Speaker 1: Seems like the big the big attraction here. It also
22:37
Speaker 1: seems like the differentiator on if you'd be into it
22:40
Speaker 1: or not. Energy is the key focus and kindness.
22:46
Speaker 2: I need a man who is kind, who has a
22:49
Speaker 2: warm heart, who is spiritual, who who has lots of interests.
22:58
Speaker 2: And you're gonna laugh. But I don't cook a lot,
23:02
Speaker 2: So if a man is looking for a cook, I'm
23:07
Speaker 2: probably not your girl. I make great breakfast, but that's
23:10
Speaker 2: kind of about it.
23:11
Speaker 1: Yeah, here's one that's a little more personal You are
23:16
Speaker 1: financially stable, you are able to explore, you do have
23:20
Speaker 1: the flexibility. Say a guy comes in at high energy levels,
23:25
Speaker 1: super kind, just absolutely adores you. Are you okay with
23:31
Speaker 1: him maybe not being as financially stable. Let's say he didn't,
23:35
Speaker 1: you know, have a career that brought that upon and
23:37
Speaker 1: that you maybe are supporting financially this new relationship.
23:43
Speaker 2: No, I again, I am nothing of not honest, No,
23:47
Speaker 2: I'm not okay with that. And I'll tell you why.
23:49
Speaker 2: My husband worked really hard. I did too, but my
23:54
Speaker 2: husband worked really hard, and my money, you know, whatever,
24:01
Speaker 2: I don't spend or meet when I turn one hundred
24:03
Speaker 2: and twenty for health care, he's going to go to
24:05
Speaker 2: my kids.
24:06
Speaker 1: Okay, So no, I can't.
24:10
Speaker 2: That just feels it feels disrespectful to my husband and
24:16
Speaker 2: the and the and the marriage we had. So no,
24:20
Speaker 2: that's I can't do that.
24:22
Speaker 1: Have you thought about this before, like, is this something
24:24
Speaker 1: I'm just curious more for your own personal life. Has
24:27
Speaker 1: this been a thought through your head of what would
24:29
Speaker 1: be respectful now in this season and what wouldn't.
24:31
Speaker 2: Be Yes, yes, you know I'm my behavior. I believe
24:41
Speaker 2: I act respectfully. I think you know my husband looking
24:44
Speaker 2: down would be proud of who I am and how
24:48
Speaker 2: I've behaved, if you will. But I am not going
24:52
Speaker 2: to date a thirty year old because he's got a
24:54
Speaker 2: lot of entergy. No, that's just that's not respectful. To
24:57
Speaker 2: my kids, it's not respectful. It's just not it's not happening.
25:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, So what I mean you started to get into there?
25:04
Speaker 1: What things are respectful? Like? What things kind of do
25:07
Speaker 1: fall into that? This feels right to my kids, to
25:12
Speaker 1: my husband, to yourself.
25:15
Speaker 2: It's it's dating a man who respects the marriage I had.
25:23
Speaker 2: I respect the relationship he had, but we're sort of
25:27
Speaker 2: starting from this neutral place where we're building a relationship together.
25:32
Speaker 2: I am not looking to replace my husband, Ben. I
25:34
Speaker 2: could never do that. But again, these just sound like
25:38
Speaker 2: some of a Hallmark card. But you know, my heart
25:41
Speaker 2: was broken when he died, and but as time has
25:45
Speaker 2: gone by and I've done the work I needed to do,
25:47
Speaker 2: my heart has expanded. So what is respectful is having
25:51
Speaker 2: a relationship that is about love and caring. I mean
25:56
Speaker 2: that It's pretty simple to me.
25:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it sounds like meual support both financially, oh personally,
26:04
Speaker 1: and this that Hey, I'm not dragging you along and
26:09
Speaker 1: doing this whole thing on my own. We're entering this
26:12
Speaker 1: life together, conjoining the lives we've built.
26:15
Speaker 2: He can spoil me, I mean if he wants, if
26:17
Speaker 2: he wants to find me first class, I'm not telling
26:19
Speaker 2: him now. Let's be clear.
26:22
Speaker 1: You deserve it. Kathy. Thanks a little bit about dating here.
26:25
Speaker 1: Would you kiss on the first date?
26:27
Speaker 2: Yep? Yeah? And have.
26:31
Speaker 1: You said that very quickly? Yeah, Okay, I'm gonna touch you.
26:34
Speaker 2: I'm a central person, I'm a toucher, i'm a hugger,
26:37
Speaker 2: I'm all those things.
26:38
Speaker 1: So yeah, And with dating in general, I mean I
26:43
Speaker 1: thought this is where you're gonna go. When you said
26:45
Speaker 1: yes so quickly, I would imagine just with what you're
26:50
Speaker 1: looking for and this next chapter of life, the final partner,
26:54
Speaker 1: there's an intentionality to dating. I mean in your mind.
26:58
Speaker 1: I think this is a very unfair question, but I
26:59
Speaker 1: think it's interesting. How quickly would you move on from
27:04
Speaker 1: like first date to hey, let's actually like make this
27:06
Speaker 1: thing official, let's get this thing going. I feel like
27:09
Speaker 1: there's an expedite, a timeline.
27:11
Speaker 2: And and that is again where I've evolved. If I
27:15
Speaker 2: meet somebody and I have before it hasn't worked out.
27:19
Speaker 2: But if I've met if I meet someone, I can
27:22
Speaker 2: feel it, it's you know, you can call it the butterflies,
27:26
Speaker 2: you can call it whatever you want. I have this
27:28
Speaker 2: sense inside that I want to get to know this person.
27:32
Speaker 2: I see where we have so much in common. There's
27:35
Speaker 2: some his smile, his eyes. I want to go. I
27:38
Speaker 2: want to go down that road, and I will go
27:40
Speaker 2: down it quickly if I if I feel that.
27:43
Speaker 1: With the guy, is it important that you go down
27:46
Speaker 1: it quickly? Though?
27:47
Speaker 2: No? Okay, But but here's the thing I don't I
27:52
Speaker 2: don't want to be I'm I'm I'm not dating for
27:57
Speaker 2: the sake of dating, because you know, I have a
27:59
Speaker 2: pretty schedule. I'm dating intentionally to find that person. So
28:05
Speaker 2: if a guy says to me, you know, I'm just
28:08
Speaker 2: casually dating. You know, I have ten dates a week,
28:11
Speaker 2: I already know he's not my guy because he's not
28:14
Speaker 2: in he's not dating with the intentionality that I am.
28:18
Speaker 2: Even though if he meets me, I usually you know,
28:21
Speaker 2: I can knock him off. Their knock him off, their games,
28:24
Speaker 2: say maybe maybe I should pick you.
28:26
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, this is gonna be a lot of fun, Kathy.
28:29
Speaker 1: This has been fantastic. I think we've gotten a good overview.
28:33
Speaker 1: We're gonna come back with you during a future episode
28:37
Speaker 1: and do the rapid Fire quiz to really like, just
28:41
Speaker 1: like hit these points. But the elaboration on some of
28:44
Speaker 1: this has been really helpful. Kathy, this journey is just
28:48
Speaker 1: getting started. I am excited to watch it along the way,
28:51
Speaker 1: this has been famously Available, introducing our golden famously available human,
28:57
Speaker 1: Kathy Swartz. Thanks for joining us. Until next time, I've
29:01
Speaker 1: been bad.
29:08
Speaker 2: H