Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 2 - Episode 357 - Gossip & Unsolicited opinion

Transcript

Season 2 - Episode 357 - Gossip & Unsolicited opinion · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the Good Morning From the Chicken Coop Podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and mastermind set
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop along with all her chickens.
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  Hey everybody, good morning from the chicken coop.
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  So today we are talking about the good opinion of other people
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  and doesn't always have to be a good opinion, does it?
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  Oh my gosh, no it doesn't. So this is coming up because I
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  just love the the fact that my real life situation sometimes
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  just bring me abilities to be able to talk to you guys about
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  things. Often times it brings me things
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  that I can talk to you guys about.
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  And this weekend was so because I heard a story that my husband
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  was filling me in on about something that happened to
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  someone in his family and how someone else was giving an
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  opinion on this. Unsolicited I might add.
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  And we've talked about unsolicited opinions before on
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  here. However, I I have to.
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  I just had to come back to it because I cannot express enough
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  how. When you decide that you are
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  going to take on the role of calling somebody and giving them
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  information or running into somebody and giving them
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  information that they did not ask for and giving your opinion
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  what that does to the other person and how that makes the
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  other person feel. And when these things come up
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  and they have absolutely nothing to do with you in your life,
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  nothing to do with you, and you're just like, well, I think
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  you did XY and Z and I think this was wrong and I think this
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  was this and this and this. And you think you're doing
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  somebody a service by calling them out on it.
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  The question you have to ask yourself is, is this for you
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  that you're doing this or is this for the other person that
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  you're doing this? And often times it's for
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  yourself because you feel like you have moral high ground or
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  you feel like you have value to share.
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  But if that other person didn't ask you for it, and that other
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  person didn't intend to have that information nor want it and
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  ask for it, you're putting yourself into a position where
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  you look foolish. Let's just come right down to
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  it. And all of this, all of this
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  comes down to one big circle of where do all these things start?
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  And these things start behind the scenes where two people may
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  be talking about somebody and two people may be sharing their
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  like, wow, I had no idea. Or, and this is this is common,
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  this is human communication. Humans do this all the time.
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  My husband and I will sit and discuss things, but I know when
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  I discuss something with my husband, I don't have the
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  worries about him going on social media or going out and
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  making phone calls and saying things to people.
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  I know when I discuss things with my coach, I don't have to
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  worry about him running off and talking to anybody about it.
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  I don't talk about things that I don't want other people to know.
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  And if your mother never gave you that advice, or your
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  grandmother or somebody in your life never gave you that advice,
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  let's let me be the person that share it with you now.
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  Don't talk about people behind somebody's back.
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  If you don't want things to get out there and you don't want
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  people to know, don't stir the pot.
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  Don't be a little shit shit stirrer out there who's stirring
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  the pot all up, then making it for other people to be enraged
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  and going out there and having conversation and talking.
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  Especially when it comes back to talking directly to a person
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  about it. Every time that you decide to go
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  out there and do that and talk about somebody behind their
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  back, you run the risk of it getting back to them.
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  Whether you think it's OK or not.
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  They're still going to find a way to get back to you.
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  I promise you. It always does.
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  I learned that very early in my life, about fourth grade.
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  My mother said it to me and I didn't necessarily think a big
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  deal of it. I still remember the incident.
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  I still remember the class I was in, Mr. Gorab and Oh my God.
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  And I talked about my friend and to another friend and it was the
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  worst thing. And I hurt her feelings.
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  And I learned the lesson very early on, and I was always very
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  careful about it. And later in life, I did one
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  thing again and it came back again.
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  I didn't think it would be a big deal, but it was two times.
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  There won't be a third ever in my life, I can assure you of
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  that. But I will say this.
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  It is incredibly important to realize that the good opinion of
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  other people is not something that you're in charge of.
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  You are not the boss of the good opinion of other people, and you
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  cannot, you cannot rein people in.
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  They will have their opinions. They will say things.
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  They will do things. Don't be one who's partaking in
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  it. Don't allow yourself to get
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  caught up in it. Don't put yourself in to the
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  position of judging other people when you don't know what made
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  somebody made the decisions they make.
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  You don't understand how they came to the conclusions they
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  came to. You don't know.
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  You haven't walked a mile in their shoes, so to speak.
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  So to wrap this up, and to put it all in a nice, neat nutshell,
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  we mind our own business. We try not to talk about other
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  people, especially in a way. If we're not adding to the value
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  of helping them, then we should be quiet about it.
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  We can have our opinion, but we should not be talking about
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  other people. And we certainly should never
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  jump out and judge another person when we have not had
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  their experience, have not lived in their house, have not gone
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  through what they're going through, have not stepped into
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  their shoes. It is a dangerous, dangerous
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  place to go, my friend, and it breaks families up.
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  So watch it, Be careful of it. And through this holiday season
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  where we'll all be with people, it's time to just sit there and
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  take it all in and say this is interesting and let it all go
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  because it doesn't affect you one bit in your internal
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  ecosystem. And remember that, don't let it
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  in. All right, my friends, I hope
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  you have a wonderful day and remember the good opinion of
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  other people. Doesn't matter.
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  You don't need it. Stay out of it.
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  I hope you have a blessed day. See you tomorrow.
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  Bye.