Latest / The World of Phil Hendrie / Episode #3830 The New Phil Hendrie Show

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Episode #3830 The New Phil Hendrie Show · The World of Phil Hendrie

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This is a Phil Henry Show Encore presentation. Yes, it's
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: the world famous Phil Henry Show. This is General Galen
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Shaw reporting and today in a world famous Phil Henry Show,
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: we are remote and we are at General Galen Shaw's
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: house in Palisbury's Estates, California. Yeah. Can I say something,
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: We'll get to you in a second time. And welcome
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: to the program folks. We have with us today Tom
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: Catton And if you haven't guessed, Tom Catton has been
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: living for the last what's it been, Tom, I get
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: to be on Now you go. What questions you have?
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: It sounded like the young man was singing in the
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: opening their golden shitheads on the wall. Jesus excuse me? Yeah, Tom,
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: what we have to talk with you about here on
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: the program today. And again, ladies and gentlemen, we apologize
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: for the technical the technical challenge of today's show. That
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: is because mister Henry engaged us on the phone not
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: more than thirty minutes ago, correct, but that is correct. Yeah,
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: and told us that there were some issues there at
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: the studio. So we're doing this live here from my home.
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: Tom Caton is with us. And since we had to
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: plan the show on the run a little bit. I
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: knocked on Tom's uh, he's he's down there. He's got
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: a you till you know, and it's not what do
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: you have down there? I have an RV. It's the
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: it's the health Wagon. That's that's correct. Tom is parked
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: in his health Wagon RV on my driveway. And as
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: you have been for the last four years, right, But
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: I wanted to give you the good news that I
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: have cut way back. And you know, it's it's a
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: it's a moment to celebrate you've cut all right. We
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: have to explain to people what when we say you've
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: cut way back. Oh, I'm sorry to have to tell
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: you this, But, as I've said on previous shows, with
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: your help, ladies and gentlemen, your very good help, I
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: had a successful health wagon business. We had wonderful juices
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: made from the finest vegetables, fruits, and we also had
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: the meat juice. Well, you know, the meat juice didn't
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: go over that well. But you know what I tried, Okay,
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: God damn it. Don't lose it now, don't lose it now, Tom,
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: I tried. I failed, But nonetheless, most of what we
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: produced there was a success until it happened to tell
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: us what happened. One afternoon, there was a loose electrical
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: wire out in front of the health wagon that I noticed,
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: and I reached for it and touched it, and you
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: was electrocuted. And there was a feeling of voltage, a
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: feeling of electrocution. It wasn't it didn't stagger me, but
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: you had to be hospitalized. Well, they took me to
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: the doctor. It didn't even call an ambulance. They we
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: just went ahead and went to urgent care. The doctor
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: put me through a battery of tests, checked my blood
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: and everything else that I was fine, But in the
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: succeeding weeks I began to masturbate at an abnormal clip.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: Hold on, here comes Margaret. Oh, for god, I just
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: heard him. So we're talking about that. I just got
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: the news. Yeah we're here. We're doing the show from here. Yeah, Well,
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: where's Patsy. Patsy's out, she's out shopping. So Tom, I
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: just heard you. So we're talking about this. We are
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: talking about it because he's still parked out on my driveway. Okay,
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: it would be great if I wasn't being talked about
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: is if I'm not here, it's sorry mister Catton. But
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: we got to can't set for the audience. Yeah, but
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: people are talking about me. They're talking about me as
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: if I'm something that they pulled from their nose and
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: wiped on a bed sheet. What are you talking about?
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: I'd like to be accorded the respect.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: All right, hold on, all right, Tom, we're talking about
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: you for the audience's sake, to let them know how
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: it is that you are living in your RV, your
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: health Wagon RV on General Shaw's driveway.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: General Shaw was good enough to allow me to put
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: it there. Look at Caton. If you lose it, I'm
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: going to beat your ass and throw you out. You understand,
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: Do you understand? Yes, we don't need to threat you
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: realize this is going out to an audience. Yes I do. Tom,
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: don't start getting an attitude. I am just saying to people,
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: this is what my challenge has been. And I knocked
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: on the door today because I needed to use the toilet.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: And that's one thing that I told you I'd wish
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: you didn't do. I understand that. But my toilet in
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: the RV needs to be emptied every three weeks using
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: a cleansing agent so that the effluvia can be mixed
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: in with the sewage. Oh good Jesus. Well, and because
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: I had not yet been able to dump it, I
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: needed to use your can. Yeah. You needed a needed
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: a dump. You needed a dumb it at General Shaw's
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: dumb place. You got anything else to do? Yeah? But
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: what are you doing right now? Nothing? Because you just
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: just stiff that one. Oh yeah right, I'll bet there's
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: people out there laughing at it. Yeah, okay, but I
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: love you, but it's about me, Okay, this is about me.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: Well no, wait, wait, wait a minute. You know General
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: Shaw brought me on his program. It's mister Henry's program.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry. General Shaw brought me on mister Henry's program
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: to hear my story for a change, Just for a change,
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: people get to hear from Tom Katton. Tom. I don't
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: think I'm exaggerating when I say that we have heard
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: your story now that oh hold on, the story is now.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: You're telling me you gotta lay. Now you're telling me
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: you got electrocuted, and that's what's caused you to masturbate excessively.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: That is your story. That's all I'll tell you right now.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: That's what happened right after I was electrocuted. Yes, you
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: started this excessive masturbation and it pretty much ended the
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: health Wagon business. It ended your relationship with Lucien. Correct, Yes,
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: it did. It suspended your friendships with everybody. You asked
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: me if you could park the health Wagon on my driveway,
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: and I said yes, and you also said, to your
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: everlasting regret. All right, I'm sorry I said that. I'm
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: sorry I said that. I said yes, and I still
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: say yes. I'm happy that you're out there. Tom. Okay,
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: but I have approached Tom. Well wait, whoa, whoa, I
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: was the one talking. Tom was talking. All right, Sorry, okay,
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: So I did. I touched the electrical wire and I
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: began to masturbate. I don't know why. But after I
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: got electrocuted, I came home. I took some kind of
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: a I don't know whatever it was. It was a
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: penicillin or a box the cellar or something that the
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: doctor had given me. I had a drink of I
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: think I had some kool aid. I laid down and
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: that's when I started. That's when you started spanking it.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: That's when I started masturbating. Yeah, and you and you've
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: not yet quit. Yes, I had would you knock it off.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: All right, I'm sorry, but quit say it. Yes, he does,
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: you've been You were doing it twenty four to seven.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: I was doing it twenty four hours a day. Yes.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: Were you sleeping at all? I was catching naps. Were
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: you enjoying it? Yes? I was. I had You didn't
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: like the fact that I had stacks of magazines. You
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: had maga. You had filthy magazines stacked up outside the
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: front door of your RV. And as Patsy would go
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: out to her car, she'd see these things, swank swag, jugs.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: What's some of this other? Yeah, so I took note
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: of there was jugs, swank, swang, uh, eat it, eat
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: it the y Uh. There's no magazine called eat It
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: the y Well, how would you know? Was great? I'm
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: tell me now, this clown's making it up. Well, and
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: he did have one. Well, if there is, if there is,
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: what Frank didn't tell you about it? You want this
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: with the ring on it, I'll turn the ring around,
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: I'll turn the stone around, make sure that when it
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: impacts it hits right back here. And okay, yes, ma'am God,
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: all right, general, then knock it off. Okay, all right, Well,
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: no one here and all you guys are experts on
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: dirty magazines? Is that it pretty much? Yeah? Well I
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: know I am. So there was one called eat It
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: the Why, Yes there was two. Bet the phones don't
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: work around here. Phones work fine, but we just can't
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: put them on the air. But anyway, this guy had
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: all these filthy magazines. My wife was getting upset, so
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: I said to Tom. I said, Tom, you need to go.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: You have to move the RV off of my driveway,
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: you know, and you need to Yeah, you told me
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: I gotta get I gotta get gone. You said it
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: was time for me to get in the wind. As
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: you put it. I didn't say it that way, Yes
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: you did, excuse me. Yeah, so we told you to
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: get We told you to stick it in the wind.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: And when you do, make sure your downwind and get
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: out of here. You know what, Bud? You talk to me,
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: Bud like I just crossed the border in my Hirachi
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: sandals and I'm cleaning your garage. Oh wow, what a racist? Hey,
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: knock it off. Look at Katton, who knew that you
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: were such a bigot. I'm a I'm not that much
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: of a bigot. Here you are with the health wagon here.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: You are, mister health, all these different ways of beating disease,
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: and you're a bigot. I'm not that much. Yeah, we
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: thought mister Green was bad. I'm getting better, Okay. I
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: just don't think it's right that I'm sitting here, parked
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: in your driveway beating off and there's people coming over there.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: There's people coming over the border with getting jobs and
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: paying Social Security tax, paying their regular taxes if out
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: of their checks. Yeah, that's what's happening. Meanwhile, Tom Catton
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: is there laying on his back on my driveway in
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: his RV. Just yeah, just oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well,
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: look at you all piss I'm going to say something.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: We have to break.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: Ladies and gentlemen. You're listening to the world famous Phil
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: Henry show. Phil is not here. He's back at his
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: studio trying to figure out what went wrong. I believe
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: he's on the line with Adam. We are producing the
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: show remote and we will be back with more from
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: Tom Katton.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: And there's big news. Go ahead. I guess the big news.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: Will you tell the big news. I'm beating off Less.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: That's his big news. He's beating off Less on the
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: world fame on the world famous Phil Henry Show. Everybody's
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: Bud Dickman, and we're just taking a break for me
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: to tell you about the backstage past subscription of mister
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: Henry's show. As you can see, mister Henry does a
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: wide variety of entertainment products. He has not only his
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: daily show, the old radio show. He's got digital shows,
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: he's got home movies. He's got the daily video cast
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: that he's been doing for many, many years and it
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: goes back almost thirty full years on material in the
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: Phil Henry Show. And he has the Bobby Dooley podcast too,
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: and he has the Jet in the General or I
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: mean the Doctor ed Elcott podcast too. So get a
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: backstage pass to the Phil Henry Show. I mean, I
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: shouldn't even have to ask you. You just should should be going,
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: oh wow, let me just go get one now. Bud
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: shouldn't have to ask, But I know that I have to.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: I know that I do. So get a backstage pass
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: Phil Henry Show. What are you doing? Writen it up
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: a little bit? Oh, get a backstage pass the Phil
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: Henry Show at Phil Henryshow dot com. The greatest value
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: online other than porn and welcome back the world famous
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: Phil Henry Show from Doctor I mean General Galenshaw's house
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: in palas Urry's, California. Now here's General Show. Thank you
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: very much, Bud, and welcome back here we have with
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: us today Tom Katton. We also, Bud. What did you
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: how come Thunders here? I thought, well, mister, I mean
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: mister Henry said it was okay if I brought Thunder here?
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: And how was she in the car? If she was fine, Thunder,
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: you didn't mind driving in the car with me? Did
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: you see she's relaxing? The cat looks like it's falling asleep. Yeah,
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: it's a her, not a it. I mean, she looks
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: like she's falling asleep. Thunder. Look at Thunder. That's a
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: big yawn on Thunder. Hello, Thunder, how are your baby anyway? Uh? God, damn?
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: What's with you? Well? You're all interested in the cat
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: I've got. I'm Tom Catton. Huh yeah, and I've got
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: my story to tell. Tom Catton is here. Now I'm
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: going to pick up where I left off. I asked
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: you to leave. At that time. You told me that
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: you've been able to cut back, and you put it,
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: I've been able to cut back on my masturbation to
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: six hours a day. Didn't you say that? That's right?
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: I said, I cut way back because you said you
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: didn't want me. You get to cry. Well, it's kind
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: of bad, you know. I feel rejected. Hey, Tom, you're
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: you're welcome to stay, but I got to know what's
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: going on. Okay, you get electrocuted, you start masturbating, you've
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: been doing it for four Then you tell me that
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: what happened? Why have you cut way back? I have
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: back to doctor Suffik, that doctor who not doctor who
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: is it herb Sewel, that Herb Seul told me about
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: he was up there at the Taskadero and the Taskadero,
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: you know, forensic hospital. You went to a forensic hospital
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: to find out how to knock off masturbating. Yes, I did,
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: and he simply prescribed a little itsy bitsy bit of
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: electric shock. He gave you interesting because it was electrocution. Yeah,
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: it was electrocution because you do it in the first place.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: All right. So now we're getting somewhere. So you were
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: electrocuted originally that caused you to masturbate, as you say,
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: twenty four to seven, and then you went back to
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: doctor Suffik at a taskadaro. They gave you electric shock,
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: and now you what I've cut way back. You know,
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: you've cut way back. That's right, I've cut back down
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: from twenty four to six. So all right, why do
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: you need I guess? Yes, I need to keep I
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: need to stay on your driveway because no matter where
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: I go, even though I've you know, cut way back
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: from twenty four to six, that's fourteen hours that I've
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: cut way back on. Okay, yeah, okay, and all right,
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: but even still I go out into the world. What
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: am I supposed to do? I'm supposed to ask people?
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: Can I park in your driveway? Well? Why did you
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: ask Phil? Because Phil lives too far away? He lives
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: way to help, but he lives in bub fuck it?
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: What's the length? Watch the language. I'm sorry, but you know,
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: beggars can't be choosers. Yeah, you talk about mister Amreia
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: lives in bub fuck o. What you're doing is laying
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: around and paddling it. I mean, where do you get off?
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: You know? Do I have to talk to him? Yes,
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: you do. He's part of the show. Let's get back
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: to the point here. You with this successive masturbation I've
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: cut way back on it. You've cut way back. Why
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: can't you move off of the General's driveway out into
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: the world. Where am I going to go? Where can
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: I park my van or park my RV where I
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: can still spank it six hours a day? That's true?
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: So why do you Why can't you just move into
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: a house the house that I was in right now?
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: I can't get right now. It's difficult for me to
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: get the deposit together and the first and last to
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: rent a place. Okay, and get this is you lost
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: a lot of business. I lost a lot of business,
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: and I'm trying to get back on my feet. Once
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: I get back on my feet, General, Yes, I'll look
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: for an apartment, all right. So and even if I
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: have an apartment, I can't well, i'd be doing it
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: in the apartment. Yeah, so nobody wouldn't be taking up
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: space the RV. Just have it parked. That's true. Oh
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: you just figured that out. No, I'm just saying so, yeah,
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: while I'm getting back on my feet, I need to
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: stay on your driveway. But you've cut way back, way back,
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: way back. You should have seen me. You should have
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: seen me. No, thank you, all right, Okay, I'll give
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: you my approval. Six more I mean, I'll give you
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: another year. Okay, six more months. How's that that ought
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: to do it? Six months parked in your driveway? Yes,
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: six hours a day. You're still spanking, So what what's
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: it to you? It's something to me, Pal As long
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: as you're out there paddling it, I know that you
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: haven't yet gotten to the point where you can look
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: for an apartment. Okay, and please watch your language. I'm
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: Margaret Gray.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: The world famous Phil Hendry Show has been executive produced
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: by Phil Henry, although I'm sure he hasn't heard any
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: of this show, but he will for CEMPRE Incorporated.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: All rights preserved on podcast one. I'm Margaret Gray. And
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: again we are remote as we look into some of
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: the technical difficulties Phil's had at his studio. I'm Margaret Gray. Again.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: Here if I haven't said that, I'm Margaret Gray. All right,
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: wait a minute, I'm going to hit the post. I'm
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: Margaret Gray. Yeah, yeah,