Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just -The Real Path to Humility and Self-Awareness 3.11.26
Transcript
- 0:01In orbit D1 before 50. OK, so yesterday and we
- 0:11developed this concept of being low key humility.
- 0:15Have you define it? He said.
- 0:17One of the main components is not taking credit for things or
- 0:21not being very busy with credit. That means a person can be
- 0:25spiritually very successful. Spiritually, he learns a lot.
- 0:30He is very involved in the community organizations.
- 0:33He has a lot of charity. He gives a lot of classes,
- 0:37whatever it may be. And he was inclined to think I
- 0:42should pack myself on the back. Maybe I did this right for that.
- 0:44Right to what other thing? How'd you get here?
- 0:46You got here because of this. You have a little story.
- 0:49Giving yourself credit, he says. He says that Hashem does not
- 0:53like taking credits. God did not even want some of
- 0:57our greats, our kings to take credit for what they've done was
- 1:00the first time to recognize the real credit is not ourselves.
- 1:04And really, we said yesterday that being an individual who
- 1:07needs credit often leads to a lot of problems.
- 1:10For example, anytime you're involved in helping someone, if
- 1:14now in your mind is who are they going to thank at the end of the
- 1:17day? Then when they have their final
- 1:20thank yous and they don't mention you, we apologize you.
- 1:22I remember last year I helped someone a lot of a certain thing
- 1:25and I went to their party after all the issue was over and they
- 1:29got up there and they thanked every, literally whatever they
- 1:33call every Tom, Dick and Harry from one side of the world to
- 1:36the other and they left me out. I remember this speech and I'm
- 1:39saying to myself like, hello, I gave you a couple of days of my
- 1:42life. I pretty dedicated there.
- 1:45Where are we? And the answer didn't play into
- 1:47his script to mention people like me.
- 1:49Fine, say dementia if you care about credits.
- 1:52Things like that will bother you all the time, which means it
- 1:56makes it someone they leave you out, they have a share about
- 1:59alcohol, they think everyone getting involved in the marriage
- 2:01and they should do, and they leave the main person out.
- 2:04This stuff is every other day. What about?
- 2:07If it bothers. You for a second and then you
- 2:09think about it after learning what we're learning.
- 2:12And yes, you were blessed. Yes.
- 2:15So the wiring is the wiring going to get to is literally
- 2:18that point which is you, of course you care about being
- 2:22mentioned. We all care one way or another,
- 2:24but we have in our minds it's OK affair says it's not a big deal.
- 2:29Thank God I'm in this position. I'd rather be on the giving and
- 2:32the helping and then the taking. And of course, so all that
- 2:35mindset is going to effect and you say to yourself, you know
- 2:37what, credit actually sometimes even detrimental because other
- 2:41people get jealous. All those mindsets and you get
- 2:43yourself out of the head. But the number one thing you
- 2:45need is not to be dependent on credit.
- 2:48Some people out there do they do things, but they're very housing
- 2:52in the sense that they're very dependent on being mentioned.
- 2:55If you think I'm crazy, it's all over the place.
- 2:58Therefore, birds has to dewire themselves from that mind and
- 3:02Hashem does not want us to be busy with credit even when it
- 3:05comes to spiritual areas, even when it comes to much more.
- 3:10You should not feel the deserve a power in the back all the
- 3:13time. That's what he says now on page
- 3:16450. He gives us kind of a roundup
- 3:18and a very clear way how to keep our humility at Bay.
- 3:24Besides with the credit concept. Let's see this inside Voemnam,
- 3:28however, call ZE O mashidou E la Shiva libu MI she Ek a brahan
- 3:34que Moshe Caron for davi oshara hassim shazakhan.
- 3:39Everything I mentioned about getting credit out of your
- 3:41system, trying to be humble, all those things.
- 3:44Trying to figure out a way to humble yourself, that's for the
- 3:46greats. But he says reality is most of
- 3:50us have a much easier path to your mood.
- 3:53It's a little tough. Most of us have a very clear
- 3:56path to your Moody and that is as great as we are.
- 4:00There are easy flaws. Here are easy areas.
- 4:03We can be real with ourselves, be honest with ourselves and
- 4:05say, listen, I'm not perfect. And because I'm not perfect, I
- 4:10can remain humble. I can wanna close the door.
- 4:13Sorry, there's no way, He says. It's pretty strong.
- 4:21He says, you know, when you have to hold the person at Bay and
- 4:24can't convince him to be humble. That is true for the greats.
- 4:27Let's look at his words. Ava nach nuyi tomei tomei.
- 4:31These are strong words. We are in a sense, use the word
- 4:34orphans. In other words, we're we're
- 4:37we're not really in that position.
- 4:38And on who's Rahim Jose? We do not need to convince
- 4:41ourselves to become low key. We do not need to, you know, try
- 4:45to find a way to keep myself at Bay.
- 4:47I'm at Bay naturally. And that is Kikwa yesh vayesh
- 4:52Itano restaurant robot. Every person who feels that they
- 4:57deserve a lot of credit, they deserve a lot of honor needs to
- 5:00be very real with himself and be real means don't you know that
- 5:03you're flawed? Don't you know that you have
- 5:05something in your system that's a little bit embarrassing?
- 5:08Everybody's got something that holds him back.
- 5:11Chance that you that all you don't need to look very far that
- 5:14art Perhito Tenu we do not need to look very far to find where
- 5:19we're limited. The call Hakhmatenu Kai Nashevit
- 5:23in all our wisdom is really in a certain sense, he says like
- 5:27nothing. If you want to go to a person
- 5:30when you want to take down and you want to make them be real
- 5:33with themselves, right? You find the guys in Eric and
- 5:36you you relate to them. You want to talk down you want
- 5:38to talk him down. How long does it take before you
- 5:41find something that can hold them at Bay, before you find
- 5:45something that's humbling? How long does it take?
- 5:49Takes less than it might go there.
- 5:50Takes a second. You find the guy, you say, oh,
- 5:52you're so proud of yourself. Like no one knows what you did
- 5:54in business two years ago. No one knows, you know, you know
- 5:58how you do this or how you did that or how you got that job or
- 6:01how you pulled that fast One. No one knows the whole story,
- 6:04right? No one knows that embarrassing
- 6:05moment. And you can find them in two
- 6:07seconds. And that's not meant to
- 6:09disparage people at all. That's we don't do that, but on
- 6:13our own mind, we need to keep ourselves at Bay.
- 6:16We need to keep ourselves real. That's all it is.
- 6:18Being humble is being real. That's his main point.
- 6:22Holding yourself back from feeling like you deserve all the
- 6:25credit in the world, from feeling like you deserve all the
- 6:28cavort in the world from getting angry every time they they don't
- 6:31give you proper appreciation or they don't stand up for you or
- 6:34they don't make it be tell you. All you need to do is notice and
- 6:37recognize the fact that we are a flawed existence without that be
- 6:41we're not more share without our own.
- 6:43And even Arun Aquin, even Arun Heta Eagle, he was involved in
- 6:48the Heta Eagle and he say it was because he had no choice, right?
- 6:51Yet still when Arun faced the Mizbaya the first time he saw
- 6:58the Mizbaya 1 issue in his life. He saw them as bear.
- 7:02You know, he saw come right at him, He saw his short, he looked
- 7:05at the Mizbaya, he saw the eagle.
- 7:08Couldn't even see them as bathroom, couldn't even server
- 7:10Cordban. He was so scared because he
- 7:12reminded himself of his one floor and sisterhood.
- 7:16That's a great person, unbelievably great person, who
- 7:19on his entire mind all the time was the one floor.
- 7:22That's him. Us, right?
- 7:26Exactly. Us.
- 7:27All of a sudden, he's nowhere. I came right now and still he
- 7:31was petrified. Us, we need to be real with
- 7:33ourselves. And that means if you're in a
- 7:35conversation and you are way better than the person you're
- 7:38talking to, you doing so much more and they don't treat you
- 7:40properly and you're about to get upset, just tell yourself calm
- 7:44down. Calm down.
- 7:46I'm not the deal and dole. I'm not everything.
- 7:49Relax. I have some things in my closet.
- 7:51I have some things that I'm not so proud of.
- 7:53I'm have some things that I have to deal with.
- 7:55Whatever it be, right? Every person's got his own
- 7:58version of that and every person, we all have it and every
- 8:01person is going to hold themselves at Bay.
- 8:02And that thing might be some sort of issue with the
- 8:04relationship or something small, even some sort of issue in
- 8:07business that 20 years ago you're not so proud of.
- 8:10It does not matter. It's there and it's not there to
- 8:13embarrass you. It's there to keep you, you the
- 8:15goal. He's not trying to disparage if
- 8:18anyone ever mentions these things to you and doing a very I
- 8:22move to mention your flaws to you.
- 8:24But yourself, your mind to yourself is different than the
- 8:27way they talk to you. You yourself.
- 8:30You need to be real. Not because you need to be azit,
- 8:33not because you need to be, I don't know, insecure lack of
- 8:37self esteem. You should be as confidence as
- 8:38confidence gets you. Have a lot of the wealthy
- 8:41people, like they do a lot of superstitious stuff because they
- 8:44don't have that confidence and they don't leave themselves.
- 8:47I hate to look habilis, rabbis and all these type of things.
- 8:50But that's not because of their flaws.
- 8:53They're just so petrified of certain things.
- 8:55It's not because they feel insecure in their existence,
- 8:58it's because they're scared what the model is going to bring.
- 9:00That's a different wiring. That's unhealthy wire, all
- 9:03right. Believing themselves.
- 9:04Not themselves, really. They don't believe.
- 9:06They don't know what tomorrow. They were so, so sad here, I
- 9:08think. Talk it.
- 9:09They don't know what tomorrow. That's different wiring.
- 9:12I thought a healthy wiring is a dangerous one.
- 9:13Themselves. Huh.
- 9:15They don't know the value of themselves.
- 9:17It's sure. So at the same time, at the same
- 9:21time he's pushing. Even though we know a person has
- 9:23to be confident. Just so you know, insecurity is
- 9:27not the goal over here. Reminding yourself of your flaws
- 9:31does not mean you should now feel like a hazy person.
- 9:34Absolutely not. You are meant to be extremely
- 9:37confident. You should have great self
- 9:39esteem. You should feel like $1,000,000.
- 9:41You should feel like everything now.
- 9:43How do you do that and still be a person I'm interested in
- 9:47talking to? How do you feel like $1,000,000
- 9:50and still be like the person that I know $1,000,000 is not
- 9:52enough today, but how do you feel like whatever it is?
- 9:54They have a song, by the way. Exactly.
- 9:57They have a song right now. There's a song out there, Jewish
- 10:01song. What they talk about What's a
- 10:05billionaire? Kids singing about, In fact, Ezu
- 10:08Ashir, what's a wealthy person and they think about what's a
- 10:11billionaire And someone made a comment, right?
- 10:13Someone made comments and what I'm saying, he used to be that
- 10:15that song would be about what's a millionaire.
- 10:17Today they're talking about a billionaire.
- 10:18The name of the song is Billionaire $4000 Question.
- 10:23Not exactly. Then this is the best food.
- 10:26Yeah, he's the first food. Yeah.
- 10:28Yeah, He's the most insecure man on earth, by the way.
- 10:30Talk about insecurity. But the point is I saw.
- 10:33A guy who was $65 billion he hated.
- 10:36Yes. A sick guy.
- 10:38How's it? I'm Louise.
- 10:42I saw. I saw him in Israel.
- 10:45I took him in the car. Like I said, right.
- 10:50It's true. Left for his kid, $65 billion is
- 10:54right. Right.
- 10:55Nothing but. That's a sure, and money's
- 10:58definitely not there. It's 100%, Yeah.
- 11:02It's in a dire position, yeah. But when a person wants to feel
- 11:07good about themselves, it does not require taking away your
- 11:11good carriers. That's the whole point.
- 11:12You should have confidence, you should have self esteem.
- 11:15You should build the children up to have great self esteem.
- 11:18But then we blur the lines and that is, are we trying to make
- 11:21our children have self esteem now?
- 11:23We want to make them feel like they're everything Now we want
- 11:25them to feel good about everything.
- 11:27The flaw in that system, the flaw in our system is now all of
- 11:31a sudden we get insulted by any lack of appreciation, very lack
- 11:35of, of, of thank you by any, you know, not getting the proper
- 11:39credit for who you are. How'd that happen?
- 11:41The goal is self esteem. How'd it turn into a hollow,
- 11:46cheap, very delicate person? The answer is the person did not
- 11:50keep themselves at Bay. I recognize the fact as great as
- 11:54I am, I'm still a flawed person. I still human being and I made a
- 11:58flesh and blood and I made a mistake.
- 12:00I probably made 20 mistakes yesterday.
- 12:02Let's be real. I probably made 20 mistakes
- 12:04yesterday. And if somebody was about to
- 12:06give me this great cowboy saw those mistakes, they might not
- 12:10be so impressed by me. I'm talking about myself, right?
- 12:13You probably got into, I probably got into a
- 12:14conversation. I should have gone down that
- 12:16road. I probably waste a little time
- 12:18on my car. I'm just giving you some classic
- 12:20examples. I probably was a little cold to
- 12:23one person, probably ignored a good morning to another person.
- 12:26I'm sure that was there. That is a nice stuff.
- 12:28I feel there's worse stuff, right?
- 12:30That's probably didn't pay a person fast enough.
- 12:32He's all the regular system that we do all the time.
- 12:35And if a person has in front of them all their flaws, it doesn't
- 12:40mean to weaken you. It's not meant to make you feel
- 12:43bad, but it is meant to keep you who you want to be, who you want
- 12:48to be as a regular human being. Great confidence, but no
- 12:51arrogance. How is that possible without
- 12:54having a bloated this unbelievable perspective of who
- 12:58you are? You could feel great about
- 12:59yourself, but see the flaws. There's nothing wrong with
- 13:02seeing the flaws today, in this day and age, in any area, in any
- 13:07industry. Schooling, rabbis, parenting
- 13:13psychologist. Your name.
- 13:15All right, Let's call those the big four.
- 13:17Teachers, rabbis, parents and therapists.
- 13:22They all are very busy getting rid of removing the flawed
- 13:27existence. You cannot know your faults.
- 13:30Now, is that a good thing or a bad thing?
- 13:31It used to be strength, huh? There used to be a strength.
- 13:34I know my flaws. Right.
- 13:36Right. You can't know your flaws.
- 13:37Imagine you're a coach of a team.
- 13:39You have a hard time telling the ball player, you know really
- 13:42when you drive the ball too fast, you're going to travel
- 13:46have all the time telling them anymore because you don't want
- 13:48to tell them it's flaws. I don't know your your kids
- 13:50going to coach. Do the coaches tell them when
- 13:52they make a mistake? Depends on the coach.
- 13:55Right, Sure. It's a hard thing.
- 13:56I'm sure there's some coaches that should be telling.
- 13:58I'm sure some coaches are nervous to do it.
- 14:00There's only one and he gets ridiculed for being so harsh.
- 14:03Right. Exactly, exactly.
- 14:06But the point is right. But the regular 1.
- 14:09So now what you got to do, you have to do a workaround.
- 14:14You have to do the workaround. If you're afraid of if you're
- 14:18afraid of letting a person know his flaws, you basically have to
- 14:21just kind of hint to them in this sort of way.
- 14:23Why? Because you think the floor is
- 14:25going to destroy him. No, the floor is going to build
- 14:28him in the right way. Knowing your floors is actually
- 14:31a way of knowing your strengths through your floors.
- 14:34You build. If someone would tell me and I I
- 14:36I look out for this, if someone would tell me my mistakes or my,
- 14:40my things that I did wrong. And I can't address those.
- 14:43And I can make it that much stronger.
- 14:44I'm not asking you if there's anything, but I was eating very
- 14:48excited. Yeah.
- 14:50I see you getting very exciting. There was not the goal of this
- 14:53this session. We'll do it that later.
- 14:56But therapist now, therapist is meant to build yourself
- 14:58confidence, right? Imagine a therapist, he's about
- 15:01to do his ability, self-confidence.
- 15:02But what? He tells you how great you are,
- 15:04but if you don't tell the person where they're lacking, then
- 15:06you're going to build that bloated version of
- 15:08self-confidence. They're going to come home.
- 15:10They're going to be an impossible husband.
- 15:11Why are they going to be an impossible husband because they
- 15:13just got a bloated ego? Yeah.
- 15:15What about telling the guy that he's a great guy?
- 15:17Not when your kid you have to encourage him.
- 15:19Encouragement is beautiful, girl.
- 15:21Trust me, I'm in the young age of a young father.
- 15:23I'm doing encouragement all day long.
- 15:25I told you yesterday about the score, right?
- 15:28Like 5150, like in down a score and and and a test.
- 15:32If there are a lot, a lot of studying, it's a ridiculous
- 15:34score. He never got that score before.
- 15:37I'm sure the teacher has this messed up version of, of, of
- 15:40scoring. He got a whole 50, but he called
- 15:42us. He was fairly impressed.
- 15:44We called him, he called him on you.
- 15:46He stopped calling him on your 50 because he got that score
- 15:49right. He read a book.
- 15:51He's a young kid, You read a book, a Cliff Notes books, and
- 15:53he decided to go to the library and get the full 600 page book
- 15:57because he wants to be, you know, a millionaire.
- 15:59He wants to be king. He thinks he's doing great, but
- 16:02you have 1 he wants to be one for exactly.
- 16:04But you have to tell him that's great.
- 16:06It's great, but you need to tell them where he's flowed.
- 16:08You need to tell them at times you need to get over to relate
- 16:11to your kids and your grandkids, whatever where they're lacking.
- 16:14Very delicate Shima delicate, but it has to be points to them.
- 16:25I got the idea so this. Is an area that is not
- 16:38addressing. This is an area that is not
- 16:40addressed today. If you think about this, I
- 16:42didn't realize this page 450 is not 2026 officially because
- 16:49according to 2026, according to this year, according to this day
- 16:52and age, all people need to be told all day long is the pat on
- 16:56the back. You're doing great.
- 16:58Keep going, keep rolling. Imagine you have an employee.
- 17:01I'm so sick of it, right? This is the age, right?
- 17:06This is the age and every person who was raised in a different
- 17:09age and seeing if they have sauce but yeah, but but.
- 17:12You know what you know, I feel like I'm.
- 17:14Telling my kids that because because life is hard, just keep
- 17:18going. It's going to be hard.
- 17:19Just keep going. You do.
- 17:21Just the push. So that's, I think that's the
- 17:23first reason that comes to my. Yes.
- 17:25So that's a very fairpoint, an extremely important point.
- 17:28The big difference is the let's go through soil.
- 17:31Ready, Steve. Is this a flaky generation?
- 17:34Yeah, there you are a flaky generation.
- 17:38No flakes. We is, is the is a nice thing,
- 17:41right. We're very flaky.
- 17:43The reason we're flaky, there's a lot of breakdowns.
- 17:45There's I'm sure there's science on this, but the reason why
- 17:47flaky is because we're very insecure.
- 17:49Part of the reason people are very insecure is because there's
- 17:51so much that's spoken about. There's so much publicity and
- 17:55you think publicity makes you more well known or makes you
- 17:57more part of the scene. It just makes you more azit and
- 18:00more azit and more azit. Either if you're part of the
- 18:02publicity or if you're ignored by the publicity.
- 18:05Either way, you feel weak. Therefore, you need to pat on
- 18:09the back. Let's be very clear.
- 18:11Your home needs to be a very happy place.
- 18:14Your home needs to be very confident place.
- 18:16It needs to be a very secure place.
- 18:18It needs to be a place where everyone feels like $1,000,000.
- 18:21All that is correct. However, and I've seen this many
- 18:25times, if you do this the wrong one, which means if your home is
- 18:29a very confident place, a very secure place, all beautiful
- 18:32things full of self esteem, then you start, you know, spilling
- 18:36into this. When someone ever insults your
- 18:39kids, you tell them those people are crazy.
- 18:41They're the worst. I have family, don't you know,
- 18:43I, I went to school with his father.
- 18:45It's the same thing. And then you started doing
- 18:47right. This is all the wiring.
- 18:49And then you're building officially the self-confidence
- 18:51over here, but you're destroying the people around and now you're
- 18:54moving to bloated zone. Now you're moving to hollow
- 18:57zone. Now you're moving to no one can
- 18:59ever do anything wrong in our home zone.
- 19:02And that leads to a very dangerous existence.
- 19:05And that is a guy can be flawed from here to tomorrow.
- 19:09He doesn't know that flaws exist. self-confidence is great,
- 19:13hollow existence terrible. So even though we live in this
- 19:17day and age, and yes, it's a flaky world.
- 19:19And part of that is because it's so much out that we have to deal
- 19:21with. And they'll be going to build
- 19:23your children up and build yourself up.
- 19:24And you want your wife to give you encouragement, you want your
- 19:27parents to give you encouragement.
- 19:29You want to be there for your children.
- 19:30You want your rabbi to tell you you're the greatest thing to
- 19:32sliced bread. You want no rabbi to ever get up
- 19:35there in a speech and ever say anything wrong about people.
- 19:37Oh, that's correct. But there's a risk.
- 19:40And that risk is, like I said, that risk is hallowed existence,
- 19:46not knowing I make any mistakes. And then I'm just, you know, I
- 19:51know many people out there to be honest to you.
- 19:53I know many people out there who make clear very present mistakes
- 19:59and they have no idea. They're making some life
- 20:02decisions that are the worst and nobody told them and only have
- 20:06yes people around them and that's it.
- 20:08There were disaster in their outcomes but no one informed
- 20:12them and they're going to find out later.
- 20:14And it's only because they have never recognized I can make a
- 20:18mistake, I can be flawed. Let my wife tell me I made a
- 20:22mistake, it's OK and it's all good.
- 20:25I had flat out. My wife told me a couple of days
- 20:27ago you just did something that was off.
- 20:31She told me honestly, she told me a dad dad don't do that movie
- 20:34wife will tell you right. You know it's the greatest thing
- 20:38is again tell them that's that all the all the reasons you
- 20:41can't tell the no by the way on 0 by the way, talk about the
- 20:45workaround. They can't handle it.
- 20:46My wife was always telling me what to do.
- 20:48What she says. You're always telling me what to
- 20:51do Sabbath. And I'm just making you figured
- 20:55it out. All right.
- 20:56You figured it out what to do. You did a lot and you figured it
- 21:00out. That is the notion.
- 21:02Yeah, But you treat the matter is even once in a while.
- 21:04This is a very delicate area. Once in a while, the spouse is
- 21:07the all gets better when you get cobble up.
- 21:11A spouse is not the spouse to Floyd.
- 21:13And if it's done correctly and it's done well, if it's done the
- 21:16right way, it is the greatest thing a person can have.
- 21:19I've told you this many times. All my a lot of my career shifts
- 21:24and different things have come from my wife telling me, I don't
- 21:26know why you're doing what you're doing.
- 21:28There's no purpose in that. I'm not going to like putting
- 21:30me. I just invested much intention.
- 21:32I just invested so much into this.
- 21:33You, you literally telling me I just wasted all that effort and
- 21:36she'll say it. It feels very, it's a very big
- 21:40pill to swallow, but it gets you on the right track.
- 21:44Parents do it to their children. I can't tell.
- 21:46My father would call me up. He never ever told me a mistake,
- 21:49but he would call me up and say, I, I think, you know, give me a
- 21:51way. I'll do a different track.
- 21:54It's the greatest thing you can have.
- 21:55But what that needs is an opening to hear a flaw.
- 22:00Are you willing to hear your flaw?
- 22:02It's as simple as that. If you're not and you're in for
- 22:06if you're not willing to notice your mistakes without ways I was
- 22:09telling you sure how you don't have who you getting.
- 22:13You can't be how who in what fashion.
- 22:18Regarding what I've often told people I don't want to hear if
- 22:22you thought up. I don't want to hear someone
- 22:25tell me that my life is the wrong life.
- 22:28I don't want to be told that I'm living something off.
- 22:31You tell me a tweak, I'll take a tweak.
- 22:33You tell me I should switch this.
- 22:35I'll switch a small thing. Don't tell me that I'm living in
- 22:38the wrong city or don't tell me that I'm learning the wrong
- 22:41thing, why I'm wasting my day and stuff like that.
- 22:43Too hard for me to swallow. I can't handle it.
- 22:45Give me a small tweak. That's me.
- 22:47Everyone's different, but you need to be OK here.
- 22:51But different people. Are wired different.
- 22:54They need different things. So what it might be right for
- 22:56one person may not be. Right.
- 22:59The guy went into the wrong business.
- 23:00He's asking a rabbi as an opportunity to, he has a off
- 23:04ramp as they call it, his opportunity to switch
- 23:06businesses. Some major comment, but it might
- 23:09be at that time the right comment, which is say, you know,
- 23:12maybe stick that other one. Or take someone who has the
- 23:14strong personality and and they they telling someone who doesn't
- 23:17you have to be tough for you because he's stronger.
- 23:18But that person when he tries that take someone with a with a
- 23:21very strong. Personality.
- 23:23And he's telling someone, maybe with a, you know.
- 23:27Less strong be. Tougher be tougher, but that
- 23:29doesn't work for. That yes, it's a major one too.
- 23:32You could tell someone that they up there Florida, they're not
- 23:34really in Florida. True.
- 23:35Absolutely. That's guidance in general
- 23:38either. You need to know the entire
- 23:41scope of the person before you say a single comet that's
- 23:44effective. Any guidance is not effective
- 23:47without knowing the scope of the person.
- 23:49True, 1000% True and definitely no 1000% I'm sorry, 1000% No
- 23:56question about it. If you are telling you, if
- 23:58you're adopting this page, if you are informing a person about
- 24:02their weaknesses, you better know their strengths.
- 24:04You cannot tell them their weaknesses without knowing their
- 24:06strengths. You can't even tell them the
- 24:08weaknesses without first telling them how great they are and how
- 24:11good they're doing in other areas.
- 24:13And then you get into a small item that they can absorb on
- 24:16their own and they can see for themselves.
- 24:18That's the message. We understand that.
- 24:20But the theme absolutely is that a person needs to be OK with
- 24:26making a mistake. If they're not OK with making a
- 24:28mistake and they become the most shallow, hollow, empty,
- 24:34arrogant, annoying, uncomfortable existence.
- 24:37And that sounds strong. It's a reality because they
- 24:40never made a mistake, so they can't see anything wrong.
- 24:42And then they keep piling on to their wrong existence.
- 24:46That's the theme. And you find people like this
- 24:48and you say if only someone could have told them.
- 24:50If they only had a mother who could have told them what
- 24:54they're doing wrong, right. If they only had a rabbi who was
- 24:57a proper Dyer, who really could tell them.
- 24:59Yes, I know if they only had a wife who can tell them right
- 25:04from wherever it may be, you say to yourself, they would have
- 25:07been far better off. Remember, it's, it's, it's
- 25:09humiliating. It's not humiliating to be
- 25:12guided properly. It's not humiliating to be
- 25:14confident in doing what's really good for you.
- 25:17That's the point. That's the thing about real and
- 25:19moral stuff. You're right.
- 25:20I'd like to have somebody that you can confide in.
- 25:22You know, anybody needs that and be open to when they tell you, I
- 25:26don't think it's a good idea for you.
- 25:27Well, I don't think you're doing it right.
- 25:29Have you ever had a, you know, big dispute and you went to a
- 25:33good close friend and they told you maybe the other guys right
- 25:37ever had that? Yeah, sure, you need that.
- 25:39You need that. You need to have that dispute
- 25:41and then go to your friend. But it wouldn't happen today.
- 25:44Today would not happen today. Well, but.
- 25:46Even with those same. People.
- 25:48The world. Became a more non convocational
- 25:53I I don't even know people are that invested yes you know they
- 25:57hear you but they're not listening all.
- 25:59Right, You call a person, you can fight in them something
- 26:02that's going on. Will they tell you the other
- 26:04side of the coin? Will they tell you the other
- 26:06person's point of view? Not really.
- 26:08Not often. Very often they just saying yes,
- 26:11yes, yes. And he should do this and he
- 26:13should be stronger and don't back down.
- 26:15All that nice stuff. And what are they creating?
- 26:17Arrogance. How low is built as he says?
- 26:21I read you a couple more lines, then we'll stop this page.
- 26:23Vizemma. Should we should not be
- 26:25invented? This is what's fit for a person
- 26:28to understand and realizing the truth.
- 26:30Veloya zua a Leno de beno chinam do not outlet your mind, deviate
- 26:37from this approach. L and IKEA recognized shed a
- 26:40teno kala. Our minds are light, are weak
- 26:43with sakleno khalaj and mold. And I would say who is not
- 26:46perfect Hazludra. There's a lot of dumbness around
- 26:50a lot of people making silly mistakes that told Covet and how
- 26:54many mistakes have we made by Shenidauto?
- 26:57And once you are honest with this point and no, even the
- 27:02flaws that you made, the right flaws that you've recognized,
- 27:06there are a lot more of that came from and Ken Vardai based
- 27:10on this, this is the main point. There is no place, there is zero
- 27:17place for one person to carry himself in a fashion that he's
- 27:22bigger than anybody else. There's nothing there.
- 27:24And this is something that's so ignored, it's unbelievable.
- 27:27This is something that's a guy feels good about himself because
- 27:30he made a lot of money or he gave a lot of charity, or he
- 27:33gave a big speech, or he's a big deal or he learns a lot or he
- 27:37has a beautiful home or he has good kids.
- 27:40And you can tell that person, any one of them, you can tell
- 27:42them you gave a good speech. God gave you a talent.
- 27:45Tell me where that makes you a big person.
- 27:47You learn a lot. You put in the right position.
- 27:49You have good teachers and your parents and you have good
- 27:51support. But you don't have to give it
- 27:52yourself. Understood.
- 27:54But you don't need to think of yourself in this fake fashion.
- 27:57You made a lot of money. We all know where money comes
- 28:00from. Because I want to hide.
- 28:01So thank you, Hashem. I move on.
- 28:03Thank you, Hashem. Thank you, Hashem.
- 28:05Right. You have good kids.
- 28:06You have good kids. Exactly.
- 28:08You have good kids. I'm a Brooke.
- 28:10I'm very impressed. I'm very.
- 28:11I'm very happy for you. You have good kids.
- 28:14Credit your wife, but don't think that even your wife did
- 28:17it. It's all gosh, it's all so many
- 28:20factors. It could have had one bad friend
- 28:22and it would have been a different story.
- 28:23It could have been A1 bad class with a 0 teacher, could have
- 28:26been in the wrong school at the wrong time.
- 28:28They could have been in the wrong generation.
- 28:30They could have had the wrong vice.
- 28:32You name it, it's there. And every parent that has good
- 28:34choice and knows that it's not them unless they have their own
- 28:38wiring, unless they have the wiring, we're guessing right
- 28:40here, they can't see their flaws, right?
- 28:43Someone told me let's. Say they don't.
- 28:44Let's say. Really, when it comes to
- 28:46parenting, it seems like they don't have flaws.
- 28:49There's no such thing, No, no, it seems, I said.
- 28:52Yeah. OK.
- 28:52So it looks like they're the perfect family, right?
- 28:56And the kids come out aesthetically looking like that.
- 28:59So it's very tricky at that point for the father, mother at
- 29:04the older years of people telling him how you kids, you
- 29:06kids, you get kids, you know, and then they tell you all
- 29:08because of good parents, because of good parents.
- 29:12Yeah, well, that's why they need.
- 29:13That's exactly why they need to review this page.
- 29:15Because this page will tell them it's only because you're looking
- 29:19at it blindly. You're not recognizing where
- 29:21this could have gone wrong. And now I could have gone red.
- 29:23The rest after giving them Rod Rabbi.
- 29:25Right. Exactly.
- 29:26Hastening here, not giving them the wrong friends.
- 29:29Yeah, 1000%. He went to, he went to, he went
- 29:33to an out of town camp. How many bad things can happen
- 29:36out of town camp and how many good things can happen out of
- 29:38town camp? He went to Who knows exactly?
- 29:42I I went to yeshiv in a dorm, right?
- 29:45Seven years. I cannot tell you what options
- 29:49were on the table in a good yeshiva, right.
- 29:51Good yeshiva. What, you know what guys are
- 29:54taking cars to what places, right?
- 29:56I haven't even had a illegal car in this year for a while.
- 29:59I bought some random car. That's that's OK.
- 30:02It's best statue of limitations. They're always not going to get
- 30:04me anymore. The boy is.
- 30:06Is that. Yeah.
- 30:07Well, these things, honestly, my parents knew how to call, right?
- 30:10These are just the ways these things are.
- 30:12This is how the wire works to stop and say we're floored.
- 30:16We're great people, but we have areas that need to recognize
- 30:19reality. And then you're normal healthy
- 30:23for that type.