Latest / INSPIRE STORY / #0173_Tom Segura & Christina P. — Unfiltered Comedy, Wild Stories & Honest Conversations

Transcript

#0173_Tom Segura & Christina P. — Unfiltered Comedy, Wild Stories & Honest Conversations · INSPIRE STORY

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon Show. Two
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: very special guests. We've been trying to get them for
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: six years. And I emailed their, I would text your
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: producer once every couple of weeks for the last several years.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: And we finally, we've done it. We've got it. We've
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: got it done.
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: But Tim, you're so fantastic and busy.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: Well, this gentleman is out.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Me and you could have done 90 hours of broadcasting.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: We could have started a podcast in the time.
• 0:30
  Speaker 4: You should.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we should.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: Like, we could have. And you're back now from the tour?
• 0:34
  Speaker 4: I'm back from the tour, yeah. I'm very excited to
• 0:36
  Speaker 4: do this. You know, it was never, there are people
• 0:39
  Speaker 4: that you go like, you know, I'm just busy.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: And that's your way of being like, I don't like you. Right.
• 0:44
  Speaker 4: But for you, it was real where I really was gone. Yeah, no,
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: of course.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: And I saw it.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: It was, you know. Occasionally somebody will ask me to
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: do something. Yeah.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: And they'll be like, I'm like, dude, I'm not in
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: New York. And then I'll look at my Instagram story.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: there's a photo of me holding a bagel on 59th street.
• 1:03
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean? Like I'm very, I'm a
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: bad liar. We're all the same with that shit though.
• 1:08
  Speaker 4: Everybody wants to like you, there's the things you want
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: to do because you like the person or you guys
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: click or you're a fan of which we're all that
• 1:15
  Speaker 4: with you. And, and, and it's always been fun to
• 1:19
  Speaker 4: watch your, your, your crazy rise in all this shit. But, um,
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: It is like an art form of how to get
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: out of things in this world, in the comedy podcast world.
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: You're always like, no, the thing is, dude, I'm having
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: ankle surgery.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: And you're like, what? I thought you broke your arm.
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: I'm like, no, I did, but I found out my
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: ankle's weak, too.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: I use my mother a lot because she's in a
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: mental institution.
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a good one.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: So I just go, what's great is I go, my
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: mother's not doing well. Now, here's the thing.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: My mother's never been doing well.
• 1:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: It's been 30 years of my mother not doing well.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: I don't even know what my mother doing well would
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: look like. What would that even be? She's a morbidly
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: obese schizophrenic. So if my mother walked to the door
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: of her room and opened it herself, it's a win.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: So what's great about that is I just go, you know,
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: my mother's not doing well, so I'm going to just
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: take some time with her.
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: I'm just going to take some time. And everybody has
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: to go like.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I get it.
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: And you love spending time with her.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: I love it. I do it four times a year. No,
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: I do it as much as I can.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: But you know what it is? She forgets when I'm
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: there a lot. So I go, is this real? They've
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: just given her a phone. She got whatever the version
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: of the new Obama phone is. But it's a phone
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: they're giving to lunatics. And she can't turn it on
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: and can't use it. But it's one of those state programs.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: Remember when they gave Obama phones out? They're like, the
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: problem with all these people is that they can't communicate.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: But if they had the tools to communicate, they'd build
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: a network of people and, you know, they, you know,
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: I don't know, marshal their resources together.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: Is it like a jitterbug?
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: Is it like huge numbers?
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: It's a phone. She'll never answer. My aunt texted me
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: her number. I'll call her now. There's no way she answers.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: There's no way she answers because my aunt's. My aunt
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: texts me and goes, your mother has a phone and
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: doesn't know how to use it. So I just ignore
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: these texts. I just go, like.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: She goes, your mom has a phone. She doesn't know
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: how to use it.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: We're going to have to teach her. I'm like, well,
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: I'm not doing that. She's 70. If she can't use
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: a phone, let's write it off.
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Let's see. There's no way.
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: What's her name?
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: Patricia.
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: You don't have it saved?
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: I don't have it saved.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: She's going to lose it. She's going to lose it.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: There's no way she has this in a month. She's
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: going to say that one of the black orderlies stole
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: it because she's racist. She's a racist person.
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: My mom was so racist when she died. My mother
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: was schizophrenic too. That's what Tim and I have in common.
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: And when I went to clean out her apartment, cause
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: she was a shut-in for eight years, um, I met
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: the security guard that would look in on her from
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: time to time. And I was like, hey, I'm Christina.
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: I know we've never met because I've never fucking visited
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: my mother. And I go, I'm Edith's daughter. And she goes,
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: oh yeah, Edith, I remember her. She goes, you know,
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: she was okay to me. She never called me the N-word.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Oh, jeez.
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: And I was like, that implies that she's been calling me.
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: Other people.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: Other people. Yeah.
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: Other people.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: I was like, wow, man.
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but not her.
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: Not her. So that was a win.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think my mother's using the N-word, but
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: she will. Not yet, she'll get there. She'll get there,
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: but I will sit down with her and she'll be like,
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: she'll go, there are too many Muslims in the country.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, is that your biggest problem? You've been
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: immobile for 20 years pretty much and you're in this
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: room and all you can do is watch television and scream.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: Muslims are here.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: Muslims are bothering you? But that's the way I get
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: out of things. And my mother did tell me when
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: I was little, she goes, just tell people I'm dead.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: She said that to me a lot. She goes, if
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: you need to get out of something, just tell somebody.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: That was one of the nicest things she's ever done.
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: That is a very nice thing.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: It's awesome. I mean, everybody who has kids ends up
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: knowing this, that it is the great cancel clause is
• 5:23
  Speaker 4: when someone's like, hey, do you want to? You're like, dude,
• 5:26
  Speaker 4: I got the kids.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 5:28
  Speaker 4: And then other parents know it. They're like, yeah, yeah.
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: But they respect it. Other parents are like, oh, yeah,
• 5:32
  Speaker 4: it's code. You don't want to do this. And you're like, yeah, I.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: Don't want kids. Most comedians don't have that. Like a
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: lot of comedians have that. But a lot of us, unfortunately,
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: are single. There are some of us that go, hey,
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: I'm a pedophile. I can't do it. There are some
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: people that can kind of say that. I can't really
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: make it Saturday. Now, do you guys ever get in...
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: Do your kids have friends whose parents are cool?
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: Rarely.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, there's the ones where you're like... Here's the thing.
• 6:14
  Speaker 4: Our bar, if anything, is so high for what it's
• 6:17
  Speaker 4: like to hang out with someone. That's true. None of
• 6:20
  Speaker 4: the kids' parents are... at the level of like, I'm
• 6:25
  Speaker 4: saying of fun and entertaining as like, the most fun
• 6:29
  Speaker 4: thing about being a comedian really is hanging out with
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: other comedians. It's the best, like having dinner, the hangs
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: in the parking lot after the sets, you're like, I
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: could do this forever. You do that night after night
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: after night after night, and then you hang out with
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: like some kid's parents, you're like, I wanna fucking die.
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: So your bar for that, you're like, if this person
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: is marginally cool and fun, It's entertaining enough.
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: Like, the worst is children's parties, actually.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: It's usually miserable.
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: When I have to usher my kids to, like, a
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: Chuck E. Cheese, and then, you know, you have to
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: make chit-chat, which is a southern fucking pastime, is chit-chat,
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: small talk, which I can't do. I want to put
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: a gun in my mouth.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: Talking about the weather. What are you going to do
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: this summer? Oh, Jesus Christ.
• 7:11
  Speaker 4: You know, I like to get.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: How's comedy? Right.
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: That's the worst.
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: Good?
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: Ugh.
• 7:15
  Speaker 4: And they're like... Yeah. And they just kind of smile
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: and look at you, and they're like, You got any
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: new stuff? And you're like, what the fuck are you doing?
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what is this about? You got any new stuff?
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: No.
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: Do you think you'll ever have children?
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm deeply selfish.
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: This is a problem, I think, when you have children.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes. If I had kids, I'd want to spend
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: a lot of time with them like Bert. I, I,
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like I'd want to give
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: them the attention and no, I don't know. Like if
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: I found a special guy who wanted to raise kids,
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: I think it's great.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: Cause comedy, you know, is great. Success is good. Money's good.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: All those things are good.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: But having a family and like, you know, bringing up
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: to one or two children to be kind of, alt-right
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: sympathizing reactionary podcast psychopaths. Like really, I'd raise some of
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: the worst people that have ever existed. Like really bad,
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: like really, really bad, inconsiderate people, because I'd have money,
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: so they'd have money, but they'd also be, I.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: Think, very bad people, which excites me a little bit.
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: It's very fun.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: It feels like it would be really fun.
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: I feel like you're so aware, and it's keeping you
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: from doing it now, but I think we all know
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: that it's in the cards. This is going to happen.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: I think so.
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: When you're in your 50s, and you're a low-T... Yes.
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: Right now, you're at your peak. You've got to get
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: out there and fuck. And you've got to go.
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: And you can't be tied down by having to worry
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: about a child dying.
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: Oh, no.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: Not now.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: When you can do other things.
• 9:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah. Don't do that. Don't do it right now.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't do it now. But then later on, it's
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: a good idea to have a child. My godson is Chinese,
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: which I love. I love because it's something different.
• 9:15
  Speaker 4: Asians are so fucking cute.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: They're so cute. Not only are cute, they are very
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: competent people. They're intelligent, smart.
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: Do you think that's just innate, or is it the parenting?
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: It's innate. He's very cold. He doesn't attach to his
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: mother or father. They've commented on this at the school.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: He doesn't care when he's dropped off. He won't even
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: give them a look. Because they are the master race.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: They are.
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: They really fucking are.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: They really are.
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: They so are. Asian kids are so much better than
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: our kids.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: No, he does his own thing. He doesn't care.
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: We even had, in my school, very small school.
• 9:50
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: There was a couple, one of the Asian kids.
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: They just dominate.
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: Not just had the 4.2 GPA and was a classical trained. pianist,
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: but she also was dominant, I think, on the swim team.
• 10:05
  Speaker 4: And you're like, this is all facets. This is across
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: the board high performance. It's incredible.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: I want my kid to be a trans athlete.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean? If I had a kid,
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: I'd want them to be embroiled in a massive controversy.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: Because otherwise, why? Leah Thomas' parents are probably really proud.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: Be like, that's my son-daughter. Fucking everyone up in there.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean? I'd want my daughter, son,
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: son-daughter to be kind of one of those people who's
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: breaking boundaries. I love, by the way, I don't agree
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: with Lea Thomas taking all these girls' titles, but there
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: is something funny about seeing these exasperated female swimmers who
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: are at the end of their rope, and they're like,
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: I was at the locker room. and she had her
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: cock out, and no one prepared me for it. And
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, that seems kind of unfair, but it's
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: also very funny.
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: It's funny.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: It's very funny.
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: It's also funny when they're like, you were the number
• 11:06
  Speaker 4: one or two ranked swimmer, and then a person came
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: in and blew your records away. You're like, oh, I'll
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: never catch this.
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: Never.
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: Like, it's so far and away. She's, Her records, she
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: was like 700th as a man, which is like an
• 11:22
  Speaker 4: incredible swimmer for sure.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: Right, right.
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: But switched over, transitioned, and made world records.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: I was on a swim team for many years. My
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: mother was a swim coach.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: Really? Yes, and I was a lifeguard. It's hard to
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: believe now because I've left that path. Yeah. But I
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: was a swimmer. I'm still a very good swimmer. And
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: I was on a swim team. And it makes you gay.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: Really?
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: Yes. You blame swimming?
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: Well, because you're just in a room with cocks.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: How lovely. The whole time.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: So my parents... It's the first time I really took
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: in cocks. Oh, yeah.
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: Is that right?
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: Absolutely.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: No, I saw this guy, William, who had a fully
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: adult penis.
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: At the time, I didn't. And he was the same age.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: And I was like, this is... I'm fucked.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: This guy....
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: I was on the swim team, I was like eight
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: or nine, and you see pubes. I hadn't seen pubes.
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: On an eight or nine year old?
• 12:15
  Speaker 4: No, no, because there's older kids.
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: Oh, now you're making sense. What the fuck is this?
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: Right. Wow. So swimming in general.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: Is a very weird, gay sport.
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: Shaving your body.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: Shaving your body.
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: Speedos.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: I like that it's become the battleground because no one
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: cares about it either. Nobody truly does. No one cares
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: about swimming at all. Swimmers, they're ripped. They have great bodies.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: But no one really cares. Occasionally in the Olympics, you go, oh,
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: that's nice. But I like that it's become this, no
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: one cares, right? It's not the thing anyone cares about.
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: No one gives a shit.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: But what's great is it's this cultural battleground where people are,
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: and these people we've never heard from before and never
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: will again are coming out and going, I'm a female
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: swimmer and I deserve respect. Outside of this, people would
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: have went, just shut the fuck up. They would have
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: said that to her. She would have went, I'm third
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: ranked in the 100 freestyle. And they would have went,
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: shut the fuck up. You mean nothing.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: Because they don't. But now, I think it's funny.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: It is.
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'm probably saying something so stupid and base.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: But shouldn't you cut your peener off?
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: If you want to be a lady. Fully agree. And
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: it's more aerodynamic to cut. That's, I don't believe, some
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: of these.
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: Are you going for time or not?
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: All that drag.
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: Yes. Are we going for time?
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: I think some people are unsure if they're going to
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: stay the other way.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's interesting. That's got to be a big one.
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: They're hedging their bets when they're like, I'm detransitioning in
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: case I want to change my mind later.
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: Wait, did this person take hormones? Like, did this person
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: take estrogen?
• 13:54
  Speaker 4: I think maybe.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: Probably. Yeah.
• 13:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: She took estrogen. For sure.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: But she's got the hog.
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: Does she have tits?
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: She has tits.
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: Are they good?
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: They're not great.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: Are they smoking?
• 14:04
  Speaker 4: Not fucking.
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: Most female swimmers have the big shoulders.
• 14:08
  Speaker 4: And the lats. Yes, they do. The lazy lats from Butterfly.
• 14:12
  Speaker 4: Those lats are wild on swimmers.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: But I love that we're debating this now as a country.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: There's going to be a congressman that comes out soon
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: and goes, hey, just cut off the hog. If you
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: want to be a female swimmer, you've got to cut
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: off your dick. Yeah.
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: I mean, I kind of feel like shouldn't there just
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: be a baseline criterion for being on the women's teams?
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: Like, okay, I understand you identify.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: What's Leah Thomas height and weight?
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: Can you do that?
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: She's not trying at all to look like a female.
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: No, like no trying.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: She's done less work on it than anyone I've ever seen.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: She literally just showed up, put a bathing cap on.
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: Right, and a onesie.
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: And I'm like, I'm a woman? That doesn't seem... 6'1.
• 14:50
  Speaker 4: Her weight is not 132.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: At least the Dylan Mulvaney one is trying to be
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: a woman, albeit a psychotic one.
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: Like a crazy person.
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: What is the origin of Dylan?
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: So Dylan was an effeminate gay man who was, I believe,
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: on Broadway or something.
• 15:06
  Speaker 4: A singer, yeah.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: A singer, an actor, or something like that.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: And then....
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: Decided to transition and then did this.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: Blog or something where she was like, every day she's like,
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: I've been a girl for three days.
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: So it started during COVID.
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: But you can see what real effort looks like here.
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: Yes, she for sure loves it. She loves being a girl.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: She's trying. She's trying.
• 15:28
  Speaker 4: Some of these guys that transition, especially like in their
• 15:31
  Speaker 4: 50s and 60s, you're like, oof.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: No, it's tough.
• 15:33
  Speaker 4: You've got to put it into another gear. Like, this
• 15:35
  Speaker 4: is not enough.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: There's something about sitting down with your kid and going,
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: if you're going to transition, you've got to try. You've
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: got to try. This family will stand behind you, but
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: you've got to try. You've got to get a pussy.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: You've got to get tits. You've got to look good.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: Nails done.
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: Makeup, hair.
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: And I would actually say, some people, when they're aging,
• 15:57
  Speaker 4: you're like, hey, just age with the face. But older
• 16:03
  Speaker 4: dudes who are transitioning, I would say, start with the facelift.
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: Get your fucking, you have a big ol' basset hound face.
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: You look like a droopy dog. And then you're like,
• 16:13
  Speaker 4: I'm a broad. And you're like, you look like a
• 16:14
  Speaker 4: fucking oil tanker worker.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: You gotta pull this shit up, man.
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: Shave off a lot of your face. Like Caitlyn Jenner
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: did it, she did it late in life, but her
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: work looks really good.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: Because she spent the.
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: Money to at least go, I'm trying to like.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: Caitlyn had, I think, the right type of, this is
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: the way to get people to get on the side
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: of trans people, she transitioned and then immediately said, I'm
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: against gay marriage and I'm voting for Donald Trump. Immediately.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: And by the way, that's exactly it. I don't know
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: why the trans community hasn't tried that. Just try. Try
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: to be a little more conservative. Why are there not
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: trans people being like, Hey, I like the cops. You
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: know what I mean? Why aren't trans people being like, actually,
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: the cops serve a vital function in our society, and
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: I like the cops. To get full equality, you've got
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: to throw some of your own people under the bus,
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: especially when they've already been long dead. So for me,
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: if I wanted to move in a nice, straight community
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: like you people live in, I would say something like,
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: I'm sure a few of those people at Stonewall were,
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: Acting up. You know what I mean? A few of
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: them needed to be. I get it. I get why
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: they got. So the trans people have to like, first
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: of all, they merged with the fat people, which is bad.
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: The trans did.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: Trans people came out and were like, they're like fat,
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: and a lot of them are fat. They have to
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: clean it up because if gay men first looked like me,
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: it wouldn't have worked. Gay men came out looking athletic.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: Better than everyone. Sharp and better. And then everyone eased
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: into it and then they accepted different types of gay men.
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: But this idea that people have to, it's like the
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: Sam Smith thing.
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: People are like, oh, people are so transphobic.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: I'm like, you can't be like, hey, I'm non-binary and
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: I look like a plumber and I'm wearing panties.
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: You have to be hot.
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: How much can Americans accept?
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: Every trans person should be super hot to begin with.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: To begin with.
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: Let's roll out the hot ones first.
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: You know what? We should all be fooled. You should
• 18:21
  Speaker 4: be like, there's no fucking way.
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: Right. Really? Yeah.
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: And then be like, oh, wow. Get us on board
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: with that for a while.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: And then introduce everything else.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: So, yeah.
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: So, like, the swimsuit edition, there's a trans lady on
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: that one.
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: And she kind of works out that blonde.
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: Super hot?
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: Super hot.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's a lot of very hot trans people.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: And we're losing that, which is sad.
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: And they shouldn't fuck with Bud Light. I think that
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: was the big mistake with Dylan.
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it was a disaster.
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: Don't do that.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: It was a disaster.
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: She's pretty blondly. She's got big tits. No, not this broadcast.
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: That's a trans... I don't.
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: Know if it is, but the one that I know
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: of that they recently put her on is a blonde
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: woman with big hands.
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: I think it's just like, my perspective is like, hey.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: When you're like....
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: I mean, convincing, no?
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: That's Kim Petras.
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: She did the song with Sam Smith.
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, this is the kind, this is what
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: I'm saying. I want, I like to be to the
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: point where I go like, oh, I'd fuck this chick.
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: And then she pulls her dick out and I go,
• 19:19
  Speaker 4: I guess I still will. You know, like that.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: That's exactly right.
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: You know, that fooled. I want to be completely. You
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: want to be thrown. Yeah.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: You want to be thrown.
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: And I think that is the way to get, especially like,
• 19:30
  Speaker 4: if you're talking about part of the country being transphobic,
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: you got to fucking really fool them.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: A hundred percent.
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: Because I think people are afraid of teachers turning their
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: kids into 300 pound trans communists. They're not worried about
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: their kids being hot trans people. So true. Like if, if, if, if, if,
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: you had a meeting and went, they're going trans, we
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: can't stop it, but they're going to be hot.
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: They're going to be hot.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: At least some of the parents would be like, hey,
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: I got a hot trans kid as opposed to some fat, disgusting...
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: trans communist.
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: Well, same with the non-binaries. If the non-binary community weren't
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: always obese girls with purple hair and bad piercings, I
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: might be more on board with them, too.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: Yes. Or if those obese girls with purple hair started
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: coming out and going, we don't need welfare. Get a
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: fucking job, you lazy piece of shit. Then Republicans would
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: start going, oh, this is great. Yeah, we disagree with that.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: They'd start using the pronouns. They'd be like, We disagree
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: with them.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: They are making some interesting points, though. We do feel
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: a social safety net can lull people into. I love
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: Helix mattresses. They gave me some mattresses. I put them
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: in my house. Everybody that visits loves them. I'm telling
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: you right now, I was skeptical of the Helix mattress.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: I didn't believe in it. And then they sent me one.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: And I was sleeping on it. And I'm like, this
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: is one of the most comfortable things I've ever been on, literally.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: And all my friends that visit my home are all like, dude,
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: what are those beds? And I'm like, they're helix. And like,
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: my friends are so happy, which is rare because they're
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: usually miserable, bitter people that have a lot of problems
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: and resentments that have built up over years of kind
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: of being near dwells and, you know, failing and having
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: near success. But I have a lot of very vicious
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: and angry human beings I'm near. But the sleep, they
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: have so much sleep. And there's no better way to
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: test out a new mattress than by sleeping on it
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: in your own home. They offer a 100-night trial, 10-
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: to 15-year warranty to try out your new Helix mattress.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: Everyone's unique. Everyone sleeps differently.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: That's why Helix has several mattress models to choose from,
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: each designed for specific sleep positions and feel preferences. I'm
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: telling you. I love Helix. It's like so amazing that
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: I get to even offer you this deal. They're offering
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: 20% off all mattresses and two free pillows. For our listeners,
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: go to helixsleep.com slash timd. That's helixsleep.com slash timd. This
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: is their best offer yet, and it won't last long.
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: With Helix, better sleep starts now. I mean, you guys
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: have kids. You have to believe. You have to have
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: some hope for.
• 22:16
  Speaker 4: The country, right?
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: That's like something that you guys have to have with kids.
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: You have to have.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: A lot of my friends go, Tim, your podcast is funny,
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: but it's so dark sometimes.
• 22:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: You know, I have kids and I want to just
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: think of good thoughts.
• 22:28
  Speaker 4: You get lost in the hope because kids, that's all
• 22:31
  Speaker 4: kids are.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: They give you hope.
• 22:32
  Speaker 4: Kids are nothing but hope, yeah. Because you just see
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: them from being this helpless thing, a blob that can't
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: do anything, and then this progress that happens and you
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: see them, their personality shape, and yeah, like, they're your distraction, actually,
• 22:49
  Speaker 4: from the hopeless world that you can, all of a
• 22:52
  Speaker 4: sudden you go like, oh no, there's hope in this
• 22:54
  Speaker 4: and them, but.
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: I wonder if my parents ever saw me as Hope.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: It's just such an interesting thing to think about. Like
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: if my parents were ever like, well, he's gay and
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: he's on cocaine. He's stealing money. He's getting fatter. And
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: he's enthusiastically supporting the Iraq war. But he's our beacon
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: of hope. We love him. He's Hope. You know what?
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: I did have this thought yesterday when I was micro
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: dosing on mushrooms is that our generation, the Gen X,
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: we're so proud of how hard we are and how
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: we were bullied and fuck you and, you know, pussy
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: this and that. And then these kids are all about
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: acceptance and love.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: And you're just like, well, that that is a change
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: for the better.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: It is a change.
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: Who knows how that's going to end up in the
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: real world, how these kids are going to fare better.
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: creating society and doing things, but I don't know. It
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: does feel kind of hopeful, doesn't it?
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: It does.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of the changes that are happening
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: are positive and, uh, you know, people obviously being more
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: kind and considerate of each other.
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: We weren't like, is, is great.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: You know, it's not as fun. Well, the, the worry
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: is the concern is on, on, you know, the, how
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: does that work? See, a lot of that seems to
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: be getting what you want. A lot of this culture
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: is about getting what you want. This person called me
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: the thing I wanted to be called. And I feel
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: this way because this person is validating me instead of
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: this idea of like, that person should not affect you
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: a hundred percent. So I understand that we're trying to
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: create a gentler world, which is good. But I think
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: part of what we're doing is we're giving people the
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: idea that like their self, concept is reliant on other
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: people and.
• 24:51
  Speaker 4: Isn't that just an illusion ultimately like yes even if
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: you buy if you're like oh everyone finally called me
• 24:56
  Speaker 4: what i wanted and you're like well you never like
• 24:59
  Speaker 4: everyone's never going so right you got the people that
• 25:02
  Speaker 4: you interact with to do it so i guess you
• 25:04
  Speaker 4: just kind of formed your own reality here isn't it
• 25:07
  Speaker 4: kind of an illusion that you're gonna have everyone in,
• 25:11
  Speaker 4: because that's not how.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: The world works.
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: People are going to say what they want to say.
• 25:15
  Speaker 4: They're going to use terms they want to use. Look,
• 25:17
  Speaker 4: people are going to accept you or not accept you.
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: And not accepting you is actually kind of reality, right?
• 25:23
  Speaker 4: It's like saying, I want to get to the point
• 25:26
  Speaker 4: where everybody likes my stand-up or my podcast.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: It's not going to happen. It'll never happen.
• 25:32
  Speaker 4: It feels like a wasted effort in a lot of
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: ways when you see somebody putting so much energy into...
• 25:39
  Speaker 4: use the right term for me.
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: It's exhausting.
• 25:42
  Speaker 4: It's an exhausting existence that you have.
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: And it's annoying. It's just annoying. If you put it
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: in your fucking email, you know what I mean? As
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: your signature, you're like, and by the way, my pronouns are.
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: It's like, motherfucker, I don't even know you and you're
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: going to start with that shit?
• 25:55
  Speaker 4: I don't care. I wasn't questioning it. I wasn't reading
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: your email like, God, I wonder what fucking pronouns this
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: person uses.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: It's part of like, I think everybody is very, very
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: concerned with how they appear. And I grew up with
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: a lot of people who.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: Didn't care. And there was a virtue in not caring.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: They didn't care. And I think that's completely gone.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: 100%.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: Because the millennials came in and they were like, we're strivers.
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: We're achievers.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: We like ribbons and bows. And we like to be
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: told we're good. And here's my college essay. And these
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: are my LSAT scores, my SATs. And I'm at the
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: right school with the right people. I have the right internship.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: It was a very checklist type of. You know, these
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: striving kind of insufferable, exhausting careerist, you know, driven kind
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: of empty vessels that needed to be filled up with
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: approval all the time.
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: All the time.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: And I felt like that was very exhausting.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: And like that to me is those are the people
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: right now who are kind of manufacturing culture. That's why
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: like everything's a BuzzFeed quiz or a how fat phobic
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: are you or were you racist to the man on
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: the train or whatever it is. It's like because people
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: constantly want to grade themselves and tell everybody how good
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: they're doing. Yeah. Right. You know, and it came from
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: that culture of like wanting to be. It's so funny. Sorry.
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: No.
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: And it's also in. Okay, if you go to a
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: bookstore here in Austin, it'll be like, be inclusive. Or
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: in San Francisco, you'll see signs that are like, end racism.
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: You're like, dude, this sign doesn't need to be in
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: this city. Put that sign in fucking Mobile, Alabama.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean?
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: It's all an echo chamber of high-fiving each other.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, if you put that sign in Mobile, Alabama, the
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: guns come out. Right. Yeah, but at least it'll be changing.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: It's also, just think about those two words. Could anything...
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: could anything mean less than end racism? Could anything have
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: less of an action plan than the words end racism?
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: It's so completely divorced. It's designed for you to go
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: right on and then move on. There's nothing specific. There's
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: no plan. It's like when Gary Vaynerchuk goes, hustle, and
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: you're like, Thanks. There's nothing about it that has any
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: real world implication. And racism means nothing.
• 28:31
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: It means nothing. Stop hate. Stop hate.
• 28:35
  Speaker 4: Also, anyone who's nodding at that, like... They're not racist
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: to begin with.
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 28:42
  Speaker 4: And somebody who is racist just reads that and goes, oh,
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: fuck you. I hate.
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: Right, right.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: He's Muslim, right? They don't even internalize that they're racist.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: They're like, well, I'm not racist, but I'm like, the
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: Koreans are a problem.
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: It's never like.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 29:02
  Speaker 4: So much garlic in your food.
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: But I don't... You know, I take.
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: With our kids, and I know Tom is always like,
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: that's an incorrect thought, Christina. That's so fucking bizarre. But
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: I want to raise them more Gen X than anything.
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: Just go out there and be a tiger, dude. And
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: my kids are going to eat your fucking pussy kids alive.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: I thought you were going to say my kids are
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: going to eat your pussy.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: Well, they are.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: I'm raising them to do that.
• 29:24
  Speaker 4: These boys, I'm showing them to wear the clit.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: That was wild. She's like, I'm raising them tigers and
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: my kids are going to eat your pussy. I'm like,
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: this is very interesting. Fuck yeah.
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: They're heterosexual. We know this.
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: Those kids are going to know how to munch box.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: For sure. But I don't know.
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: I don't buy into all this cultural stuff, too. I
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: don't know that it's real, like you say.
• 29:46
  Speaker 4: It feels very performative, though, doesn't it? Yeah, I don't know.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: It's all performative, and everyone's going to kill each other.
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: Let me segue, because I did write a book. And
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: I want to talk about this on this episode because
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: I like both of you.
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: And it's going to get better views than the other ones.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: That's why I'm.
• 30:04
  Speaker 2: Bringing it up now.
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: I wrote a book. And Travis will edit the whatever
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: graphic into the thing.
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: And you have a book.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: Which is fucking awesome.
• 30:14
  Speaker 4: I do. It just actually came out in.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: Don't show his book. No, I'm kidding. Show his book.
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: No, no, but.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: There it is.
• 30:20
  Speaker 4: There's Tim's. Mine just got reprinted. It just got. The
• 30:24
  Speaker 4: paperback release just came out. But this looks awesome, your title,
• 30:29
  Speaker 4: Death by Boomers, how the worst generation destroyed the planet,
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: but first, a child.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: It's an amazing title. No, it's great, and what it
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: is is my father is 70, and my mother is,
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: God only knows where she is, she may not be
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: with us anymore. But what I wanted to do before
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: they died was just one more disgraceful moment. Yeah. Like
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: a head hung low moment where I could share all
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: these like horrific stories from growing up with boomers. I
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: love boomers.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: Boomers are funny. It's not a woe is me book.
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Boomers are deeply selfish, narcissistic monsters sent to destroy
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: the earth.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: They've destroyed society.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: They viewed their children as an obstacle and an impediment
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: to their own success. For sure. They were jealous of
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: their children. They liked when their children failed. They set
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: their children up in many cases to fail. They were hateful,
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: horrible people they were. Um, completely divorced from reality. They
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: have tangled themselves up in conspiracy theories. You could find
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: them on Facebook right now.
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: You know, it's like they're, as soon as they got technology,
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: they used it to spread hate and division and fear.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: All they believe in is fear-mongering and dividing people because
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: they believe that's how they benefit. They were the luckiest generation,
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: other than the few of them who died in Vietnam. Enough.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: We've heard about that. The rest of them had charmed
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: lives with great peacetime, and they were given and inherited
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: this whole country and destroyed it.
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: My father, when I told him I was an alcoholic,
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: I was like, I was a drunk.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: And I didn't say I'm an alcoholic, but I said
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: to him, I'm hanging out at a bar every night
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: and I'm drinking every night. And instead of saying, you
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: should get help, my father goes, son, an old man
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: bar has played a role in.
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: Every Dylan's life.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: Wow. He goes, your Uncle Tommy went to Buckley's.
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: I used to go to a place called the Bitter Ant.
• 32:30
  Speaker 4: Cool. They're so....
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: Like, my father, I was smoking cigarettes, 13 years old,
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: smoking cigarettes in the front seat of his car. He
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: let me smoke cigarettes. And he goes, you know what's
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: good about you? You never smoke them down to the filter.
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: LAUGHTER He goes, you never smoke them down to the end.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: He goes, that's what's good about you. That's an amazing
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: compliment from a dad. So these were the type of
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: people they were.
• 32:59
  Speaker 4: And then you got to internalize, like, that is what's
• 33:01
  Speaker 4: good about me.
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: He's like, you never smoke them down to the end.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: He goes, that's what's good about you. And I threw
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: him out the window, and he goes, you know, and
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: that's like.
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: I picture, like, other kids talking about what their fucking
• 33:15
  Speaker 4: self-esteem comes from.
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: And then they get to you. No, I do this
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: really good.
• 33:20
  Speaker 4: I never smoke down at the billboard store.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: Well, I did what the trans kids do now. I go,
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: if you don't let me smoke, I'm going to kill myself.
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: That's what the trans kids do. They go, you give
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: me tits or I'm out of here. I would go,
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: you have to let me smoke. So they were getting divorced.
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: And my father's like, well, he's just smoking a pack
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: a day.
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: It's not a big deal.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: I smoked for years and I would just smoke. My
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: grandmother let me smoke at her house and my friend's parents,
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: my friend Ryan's, my friend Ryan was dating a stripper.
• 33:56
  Speaker 4: He's my friend.
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: He's in jail now.
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: He was dating a stripper and he is, you know,
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: the like Indiana's most wanted. She was on Indiana's most wanted.
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: So like state troopers came to the house. Once my
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: friend Ryan answered the door and like, they were like, uh,
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: and they were like doing identity theft or doing bad
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: stuff in a, the troopers were like, where is she?
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: And he goes, I don't know what you're talking about.
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: And they go, listen, if you don't tell us where
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: she is, you're an accomplice. So like, again, where is she?
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: And my friend just was there like two seconds and
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: then just looked at the cops and went, she's in
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: the kitchen. And they take this woman out in cuffs
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: and the Boomer parents are kind of unfazed. And literally
• 34:35
  Speaker 1: that night for dinner, we're all sitting there and his
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: mother's like, you know what I want to do? What
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: about a condo in Naples? How about Naples floor? I mean,
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: it's gorgeous. The restaurants are great. This is after a
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: woman had been taken out of the house in handcuffs.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: They were so crazy.
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: So the book is just a collection of like these
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: stories of these crazy people.
• 34:54
  Speaker 4: That boomer generation is about like looking at a problem
• 34:59
  Speaker 4: and be like, can we get out of this right now?
• 35:03
  Speaker 4: And then just change topic. Yeah. It was never about like,
• 35:07
  Speaker 4: I feel like that's, Because they were raised by real
• 35:11
  Speaker 4: fucking Neanderthals, at least emotionally. When you think about it,
• 35:15
  Speaker 4: a boomer is raised by someone born in 1910 or 1915.
• 35:19
  Speaker 4: They had no skill set. Nothing given to them.
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: No emotional life.
• 35:25
  Speaker 4: They're like dogs.
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: Boomers also have this very interesting victimhood complex. They're always aggrieved.
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: Every time you're on the phone with one of them... Like,
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: you know, like my aunt, for example, during COVID, she goes,
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: I hope everyone gets this vaccine because I'd like to
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: do some traveling and I've worked my whole life. I'm like,
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: everyone's worked their whole life. Everyone's worked their whole life.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: Who hasn't worked? Their whole life, like she goes, I've
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: worked my whole life. I'm like, everyone's worked their whole life,
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: you crazy bitch. Of course they're fucking, but again, it
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: was all about her. She's like, I'd like to travel.
• 36:04
  Speaker 4: What about me?
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: What about me?
• 36:06
  Speaker 3: Oh my God, I just remember what my dad liked
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: about me. He goes, you know what's good about you?
• 36:10
  Speaker 3: Is that you're a girl, but you don't talk too much.
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: Sometimes women talk too much. That's nice.
• 36:16
  Speaker 3: That is a nice compliment.
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: But see, that's nice.
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I like that. You don't smoke them down the filters.
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: You're not a chatty broad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My father
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: would say things to me. He'd give me this advice. Like,
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: we'd be in a car. He'd be like, son, never
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: overestimate your value. And then he'd go, he goes, what
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: you do, someone else will do, too. Cool. He goes,
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: he goes, he would say things like that. You know,
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: like you would just have these like, very like, you know.
• 36:43
  Speaker 4: The thing is about these comments too, is if you
• 36:46
  Speaker 4: were to ask your dad or your dad about saying that,
• 36:49
  Speaker 4: they'd be like, what's wrong with that? They're oblivious to
• 36:52
  Speaker 4: the fact what that means. For me, my parents used
• 36:55
  Speaker 4: to introduce the three of us to people. And like
• 36:58
  Speaker 4: I had two, I have an older sister and a
• 36:59
  Speaker 4: younger sister. And they would go, my older sister's Maria.
• 37:01
  Speaker 4: They'd be like, this is Maria. She's an A student.
• 37:04
  Speaker 4: She's a great athlete. She's creative. She dances. She's just
• 37:11
  Speaker 4: full of life. She's this amazing kid. And this is Jane.
• 37:16
  Speaker 4: She's our baby. She's adorable. She's sweet. She's just the
• 37:20
  Speaker 4: cutest little sweetest girl. And then they would be like,
• 37:23
  Speaker 4: this is Tommy. He's nice. Oh! I go, is that it? Like,
• 37:29
  Speaker 4: that's the end of the thing?
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: You were a man. You had to stand on your own.
• 37:32
  Speaker 4: Exactly. They were just like, well, we take care of
• 37:35
  Speaker 4: the girls.
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 37:36
  Speaker 4: Like, you got to know.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: I was an only child, and my mother used to, like,
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: call me in and go.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: She would call me in, and she'd sit quietly. She goes,
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: I always wanted another child.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: Oh, boy.
• 37:46
  Speaker 2: And your father didn't give me another child.
• 37:49
  Speaker 4: Oh, boy.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: And I don't know if this marriage is going to
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: work out, because I always wanted another child. I've just
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: always wanted... more children. And he's denied me that and
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: I want another child. And I would just sit there
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: and go, okay. Thank you.
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: Thanks for that.
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: I'd go, all right.
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: So I love my mother and I do love my mother,
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: but she was a horrible person, but also a lovely person.
• 38:19
  Speaker 4: She was a great person too. That's the thing is
• 38:21
  Speaker 4: that when we talk about our parents and we criticize them,
• 38:25
  Speaker 4: We criticize them from a valid place. Yes. But people
• 38:28
  Speaker 4: are not one dimensional.
• 38:29
  Speaker 5: No.
• 38:29
  Speaker 4: So you can be like, look, my mom's crazy or horrible,
• 38:32
  Speaker 4: all these things. But that doesn't fully define her. You
• 38:34
  Speaker 4: still have the.
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: Stuff that you. We used to swim. She taught me
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: how to swim. She was a swim coach. And I
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: swam a mile in the bay when I was six.
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. Yeah. She used to get all the neighborhood kids.
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: And we'd all swim at 5 AM. And she would
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: train them how to be good swimmers. And she was
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: really good. She was really good with that. She was
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: really good like an aquatic person. And she was like
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: very much committed to that. And then I was an
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: actor and she was committed to that. From when I
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: was like probably seven, I started acting and I acted
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: till I was about 12.
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: And she really tried and we went.
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: Did you like it?
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: I did.
• 39:09
  Speaker 1: I just never had that big break where it was
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: like this changes your life. And me and her went
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: on a tour for like four months with this touring musical,
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: Annie Get Your Gun. And we would be on the
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: tour bus every night and then we toured.
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: With the whole production.
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: And then, they put me in an Amstel Light shirt
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: what's better than that take a look at me and
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: my dad right there look at his.
• 39:33
  Speaker 5: Face I was singing a song about sucking cock right
• 39:38
  Speaker 5: there I was singing a song about sucking dick and
• 39:42
  Speaker 5: the cum comes out of the dick he was like
• 39:47
  Speaker 5: you said this was an Irish folk song Um.
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: The priest has a big car. So, but like, you know,
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: she was with me for that. And then I started
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: doing drugs and she went insane. So we went our
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: separate ways, but I still love her.
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: She went a little nutty.
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: And I just, at 12 years old, 13 years old,
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: I started using cocaine and smoking weed. Obviously weed first,
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: I'm not nuts. But weed and blow and some Vicodin.
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: And my friend's mother was a hooker and sold us
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: drugs and we loved her. She's in the book, we
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: loved them all.
• 40:23
  Speaker 4: Did your mom do drugs too?
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: Never, she did over the counter drugs. She would take Sudafed.
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: And she would drink like Prevental cough syrup and Tab.
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: She loved Tab soda and Prevental cough syrup and like Sudafed.
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: And like she loves an over-the-counter cocktail to just keep
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: her going. She loved an over-the-counter cocktail. Do you miss
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: the acting, by the way? One of my favorite things
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: about getting a box of awesome from Bespoke Post every
• 40:47
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• 41:00
  Speaker 1: In the box for the outdoors, gardening, like a little
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  Speaker 1: For more information, go to ForThePeople.com slash Tim or dial
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  Speaker 1: from your cell. This is a paid advertisement. I'm being
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: paid for this. Yeah, I did two movies that bit
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: parts in two films that are coming out, which is awesome.
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  Speaker 4: That's great.
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: One, it was an Eli Roth movie called Thanksgiving, which
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: is really cool, that's coming out. And then there's another
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  Speaker 1: movie that I'm hoping my scene's in. I imagine it
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  Speaker 1: will be. I can't say what it is. It's kind
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  Speaker 1: of a big deal movie, and the director yelled at
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: me and said, what are you doing, several times. Really?
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: But then we eventually got to it. But that's the process.
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: Did he really say? No, he's like, I don't understand
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: what you're doing. He's like, what the fuck is wrong
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  Speaker 2: with you?
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: Oh, shit. He's like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: And literally next to me was the biggest, one of
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: the biggest stars of our era. So wait. Whatever. Without.
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: Podcast, tough guy.
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: Showbiz. How did you handle that? It's so stressful.
• 45:10
  Speaker 5: It's so horrible.
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: So, I mean, I don't even know if I can
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: talk about it. Let me talk about it a little.
• 45:14
  Speaker 4: Let's talk about it, and then you guys can edit
• 45:15
  Speaker 4: it out. No, we're going to talk about it.
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: Because it's not a big deal.
• 45:19
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: Okay, I'm in the film, and it's... It's me and
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: this very big director and this very big star.
• 45:30
  Speaker 4: Before you get to this, did you, were you just
• 45:33
  Speaker 4: offered the part? Did you audition?
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: I auditioned. Okay.
• 45:35
  Speaker 4: So you auditioned and you got the part from that.
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: I get the part.
• 45:37
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: They said it's going to be like a funny part.
• 45:39
  Speaker 4: Okay. Okay.
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: Maybe I have one joke, but it's not, you know,
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: I get to set. You don't get a script every
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: day because it's like super hush hush, you know? So like,
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: then like, They come in, they give me my lines,
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: and they're like, okay, and you move the book, you
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: slide the book across the table, but not too far,
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: extend it, it's out of the shot. Put your hand
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: on the book, but don't cover the title. You deliver
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: your first line. He's going to open the door, then
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: he's going to hang up the phone. You look at him,
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: you deliver your second line, he interrupts you. Then you wait,
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: not too soon, not too fast, you deliver your third line.
• 46:06
  Speaker 4: That's just so high-stress.
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: It's so high-stress. I'm sitting there, it's 80 people, it's
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: one of the biggest movies, and I'm sitting there, and
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: a very, very big star who's like, brilliant is in
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: this little room with me.
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: And then another brilliant star is there. This is the
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: first scene I've done in any film. Okay. The number one.
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: So I'm like, okay, I'm trying to remember like the
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: first thing.
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm like the book, the fucking slide, the
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: book and fuck the book. And I'm like, I slide
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: the book. And like, so I kept getting the line wrong.
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: And I, and the director's like, kept telling me the line.
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: He's like, this is the line. And then I'm like, okay.
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: And then he goes, he goes, I'm like, all right.
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, I think I said
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: that last time. He's like, you've never said it, but
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: maybe next time you'll say it. I'm like, but then
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: he was also being rough with a lot of the
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: other people who are much better.
• 47:02
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: So you've been rough with a lot of people because
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: that's his style. And I respect that. I'm no millennial.
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: I'm like, kick me in the face. Just make, just
• 47:11
  Speaker 1: put my seat in the film. Cause it did end
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: up good at the end. So, And I'm the draw
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: in this film. I'm the draw. A lot of people
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: are going to argue that it's the other two. I'm
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: not saying who they are. But I'm the draw.
• 47:28
  Speaker 4: So wait, at what point does he go, what the
• 47:30
  Speaker 4: fuck are you doing?
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: He came up to me and he goes, hey, hey,
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: what the fuck are you doing? He goes, I don't
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: really understand what's happening right now. He's like, you realize
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: you have to do this the same time every way, right?
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: The same time every time.
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: It's like a fucking movie. He's like, I don't get it.
• 47:44
  Speaker 2: He's like, what is happening right now?
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, I'm really apologizing, I'm sorry, I'm trying
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: to do all the things and whatever. Listen, it was stressful,
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: but I like the pressure. It was really good. And
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: he's a great director, made some of the greatest films ever.
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: I don't mind being shamed in front of.
• 48:03
  Speaker 4: I'm dying to know who this is, man.
• 48:04
  Speaker 3: I know, you have to tell us off, Mike.
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: I'll tell you off.
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: Just tell us now. Well, no, no, no, no, no.
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: I don't think they'll do anything to me. Here's, I'll
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: tell you, okay. The movie is the Oprah Winfrey story.
• 48:24
  Speaker 3: Oh my God, I believed you. I was like, nuh-uh, dude.
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: I play Stedman.
• 48:29
  Speaker 4: No.
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: It's a very famous movie. Group of people.
• 48:40
  Speaker 4: Come on.
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: Just tell us. Just cut it out. I signed an NDA.
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. Cut it. Yeah, but I don't
• 48:45
  Speaker 1: want to cut it. If I say it, I don't
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: want to cut it. All right.
• 48:47
  Speaker 4: All right, all right, all right.
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: I'm going to say it and then probably not cut it.
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 48:57
  Speaker 3: Oh, my.
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: Big. It's big.
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: It's big. And he checked.
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: We're gonna cut it. We'll cut it out.
• 49:04
  Speaker 4: And he was rough with other people.
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: He was rough with everybody that deserved it. I deserve it,
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: and I will take it again. You can hit me.
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: But it was very stressful.
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: It's so stressful.
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: And rough with the big talent, too?
• 49:18
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
• 49:18
  Speaker 5: Really?
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: Because it is what it is.
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: It is I mean I don't mean rough I don't
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: want to say rough like passionate everybody's passionate no one's
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: saying anything wrong here everyone's passionate and it's a beautiful
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: process well that's.
• 49:29
  Speaker 3: True because there are people that are tough.
• 49:31
  Speaker 1: In comedy.
• 49:33
  Speaker 3: That will say crazy shit to you, but you know
• 49:35
  Speaker 3: them so well, that you're like, oh, that doesn't even
• 49:38
  Speaker 3: faze me.
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: It was wild, because you know what? I got, by
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: the end, to a good place, and that's what a
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: good director should do, is to make you better.
• 49:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: And that's, and I miss the acting, and I'm gonna
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: do more acting, and I liked it, and I'm really
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: excited about it.
• 49:53
  Speaker 4: Good.
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: And, you know, I think I did a great job.
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: Good. And I think, at the end, In the beginning,
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: it was hard. But at the end, I think it
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: all came together. And that's what counts.
• 50:09
  Speaker 3: That's what counts. Have you been fired in show business?
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: I've never been fired, per se, from a gig, I
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: don't think.
• 50:18
  Speaker 3: Like stand-up?
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think I've been fired.
• 50:21
  Speaker 3: I mean, I was fired as a writer from Chelsea Lately.
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: That was pretty horrible.
• 50:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, that must be.
• 50:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but that was it. And especially because I didn't
• 50:31
  Speaker 3: see it coming.
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 50:32
  Speaker 3: It was one of those where I.
• 50:33
  Speaker 2: I never had a job, that's why.
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, really?
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: I never had a gig in– like, I never had
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: a job. Like, I had stand-up. I had the podcast.
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: I never had a writing job. I never had any
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: of that.
• 50:45
  Speaker 3: Well, you're the younger Jen.
• 50:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 50:47
  Speaker 3: Because that stuff was kind of out of style, no? Like,
• 50:49
  Speaker 3: by the time you.
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: Were– People were doing it. I didn't want to– I
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: didn't want to do it.
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: I never wanted to be really in the writer's room.
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: I never wanted to do it.
• 50:57
  Speaker 4: I did a few pilots, you know, I rode on
• 50:59
  Speaker 4: a couple of pilots for Comedy Central, but I never,
• 51:02
  Speaker 4: once I got a taste of it, I was like,
• 51:04
  Speaker 4: I don't want, and the thing is, the other writers,
• 51:06
  Speaker 4: they try to sell you on it. So they're like,
• 51:09
  Speaker 4: you should try to do this.
• 51:10
  Speaker 3: And I was like, Because you know why? There's some
• 51:12
  Speaker 3: semblance of security.
• 51:13
  Speaker 4: No, there is.
• 51:14
  Speaker 3: It's like, I can be a comic and be safe.
• 51:17
  Speaker 3: So they're like indoor cats, right? That's why they're not
• 51:21
  Speaker 3: truly funny, because they're not stand-ups.
• 51:23
  Speaker 4: Well, some of them are really funny.
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: Some of them.
• 51:24
  Speaker 4: But they're not. Not a lot. You're talking about on stage, though.
• 51:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 51:28
  Speaker 4: But they're truly funny on paper.
• 51:30
  Speaker 3: No, I disagree. I mean, yes, there are people that
• 51:33
  Speaker 3: are funny writers, joke writers, obviously. But I don't know.
• 51:37
  Speaker 3: I don't LOL a lot at late night.
• 51:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but that's that gig. I'm saying there's hilarious comedy
• 51:45
  Speaker 4: writers that do, that write amazing comedy, but you're talking
• 51:51
  Speaker 4: about for this specific show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What I'm
• 51:53
  Speaker 4: saying is that some of those writers, they would also,
• 51:56
  Speaker 4: some of them always had a little bit of stand-up
• 51:57
  Speaker 4: in there, and they're like, what do you do? And
• 51:59
  Speaker 4: you go, I do stand-up. And they're like, you really
• 52:01
  Speaker 4: think you're going to do that as a stand-up?
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: Right, right. Well, it's so rare, I think. you know,
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: when you see all the people that are in the business,
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: a lot of them become writers.
• 52:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 52:11
  Speaker 1: I just felt if I found it kind of boring
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: and I thought standup was more exciting and.
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: The road was more exciting.
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 52:18
  Speaker 4: So much better.
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: Freedom. Yeah.
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: Freedom.
• 52:21
  Speaker 4: Even when you're not moving a single ticket, it's like,
• 52:23
  Speaker 4: there's something about the live performance that is like, yeah,
• 52:26
  Speaker 4: it's so much.
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: It was just more fun and thrilling. And like, it
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: kept you going. Whereas like writers, you know, have these
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: amazing lives. Um, but I think you're more, you know,
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: Some of them, it's, I guess, more exciting than I
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: think or more exhilarating. I just felt like, for me,
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: I like being out there and doing my own thing.
• 52:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I have to admit, my ego hated it
• 52:50
  Speaker 3: when the joke I wrote would be said by somebody
• 52:53
  Speaker 3: else on camera.
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: Right. Oh, that was mine. Right.
• 52:56
  Speaker 3: I want that joke. I want to see that.
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: Well, they're striking now, and we're going to see what's happening.
• 53:00
  Speaker 4: I think it's going to last a minute.
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: It's going to last a long time. I am behind
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: the scenes putting it all, trying to help. because I'm
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: very good friends with David Zaslav, Ted Sarandos. All of
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: the streamers are like my best friend. But I support
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: the writers. But my best friends are the billionaire streamers,
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: so it's like weird, because they're my best friends. But
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: I see the writer's point, but like, I'm like such,
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: I'm very close with like these people that I love.
• 53:31
  Speaker 2: Like I love these billionaires. Like I literally love David Zaslav.
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: He's like my best friend, and like, So sometimes it's
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: so weird because he's like, why are you supporting them?
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, David, I don't know. They're hungry.
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: And he's like, are they? And I'm like, I don't know.
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: I'm in such a hard spot. You know what I mean?
• 53:52
  Speaker 4: Are they?
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: I'm in a hard spot because I see them picketing.
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: And I'm not in the WGA. Right. and I wanna
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: get out, and I wanna, you know.
• 54:05
  Speaker 4: March with them.
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: I wanna march with them, but I'm in the car,
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: often with a CEO of a streaming company, going to lunch,
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: and we're talking about how to kill those people. We
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: do that most of our lunches, we talk about how
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: to get rid of them. And here's the thing with AI,
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: it's like, I think AI's scary, but I also think
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: it's exciting to have a robot do all of that work.
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: And have all these people that are doing it now
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: maybe die. That to me is like a new thing.
• 54:40
  Speaker 4: It would be so amazing if one of these CEOs
• 54:43
  Speaker 4: with a car went into one of the picket lines.
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: By accident? By accident.
• 54:49
  Speaker 4: I'm saying if it was a total accident.
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: Well, I think what's going to have to happen is
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: you're going to have to have these, we're going to
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: have to have a meeting of the minds where everybody
• 54:56
  Speaker 1: sits down and basically irons out something that everyone can
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: live with because we can't keep going on like this.
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: No one in America cares about this at all.
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: Nobody.
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: Not one human being cares about this at all.
• 55:12
  Speaker 3: I barely care.
• 55:13
  Speaker 1: The news barely registers. LA doesn't need to take any
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: more hits. It's taking a hit. The weather this winter.
• 55:22
  Speaker 2: Was not good.
• 55:23
  Speaker 3: The rain?
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: Rain, hail, sleet, bad.
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: Snow, very bad.
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: All of the good comics have left Los Angeles. Most of,
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: most of, not all of, a lot of.
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: And really, the two comics left in LA, it's like
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: the same guy. And the two people that are fighting
• 55:46
  Speaker 1: for dominance of the LA comedy scene right now are
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: literally indistinguishable from each other, which is weird.
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: And it's me and Matt Rife. It's the same guy,
• 55:58
  Speaker 2: and we're... We're talking.
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: About the same things. And so what it really is
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: is this fight between these two brothers who are the same.
• 56:08
  Speaker 5: To try to reach these people.
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, is this what Matt looks like with his
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: shirt off? That's what I look like too. It's these cameras.
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: You don't have nice cameras. That's the problem is these
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: fucking cameras. I tell Rogan too. Rogan invested all the
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: money in deer antlers and not the cameras because without
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: the camera.
• 56:31
  Speaker 2: No, but we're very similar. We look alike.
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: We're the same type of guy. And it's weird. It's weird.
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: And it's just both of us in LA, like fighting
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: for like, who's going to do it? That's the photo.
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: Is that a lion? That's the photo where it's like,
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: so it's hard. So that's what LA is right now.
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: It's just me and this guy fighting for supremacy.
• 56:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: Being the same, you know what I mean? Sure.
• 57:00
  Speaker 2: My crowd is all women because they're brilliant.
• 57:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: Because they're very smart. They're into comedy. And they like, no,
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: women like the takes. And I did a show with me,
• 57:16
  Speaker 1: Shane Mullen, and Big J.
• 57:17
  Speaker 2: It was an arena.
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: All women. All women, yeah. All women came out in Hershey, Pennsylvania.
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: All women who voted for Joseph Biden. That's my audience.
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: Women who voted for Joseph Biden. And I'm proud of that.
• 57:32
  Speaker 4: Do you and Matt get along, or is it pretty contentious?
• 57:35
  Speaker 1: No, we get along because it's like, it's contentious because
• 57:41
  Speaker 1: it's always tough to see your doppelganger all the time.
• 57:45
  Speaker 2: And it's like, it's like, it's like, no, Matt's.
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: Actually an awesome dude. He's a really sweet guy and
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: he's funny and awesome. But, um, and we do look different.
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: You do. So that's, that's, that's good. I think that's good.
• 57:59
  Speaker 3: He's so cute.
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: He's very attractive.
• 58:02
  Speaker 4: Is that a kiss from a, from a movie or
• 58:04
  Speaker 4: is that like a, I can't, Kate Beckinsale.
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: But I dated her. And let me tell you something
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: about Kate Beckinsale. You go to dinner with her, I mean,
• 58:12
  Speaker 1: you got to fill the conversation. You try to talk
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: to her about the Ukraine, you got another thing coming.
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: She's got nothing. It's a joke.
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: We're all kidding. Oh, no.
• 58:33
  Speaker 4: Is this real?
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: This is, I don't know. Yeah.
• 58:37
  Speaker 4: This is like, there's, comedy people are now, this is
• 58:41
  Speaker 4: truly fucking reality TV shit.
• 58:43
  Speaker 3: Well, it is, listen, for once, the comics are getting laid.
• 58:47
  Speaker 3: I think that's cool.
• 58:48
  Speaker 2: It's cool.
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: It's cool to be cool. It's cool to be cool.
• 58:52
  Speaker 2: Comedy shouldn't get too cool.
• 58:54
  Speaker 4: Not too cool.
• 58:54
  Speaker 2: Not too cool.
• 58:55
  Speaker 4: It's not good. No.
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: It loses.
• 58:57
  Speaker 2: Colin Quinn said, when comedy gets too cool, it always loses.
• 59:00
  Speaker 4: For sure.
• 59:00
  Speaker 2: Which I think makes a lot of sense.
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 59:01
  Speaker 4: For sure. That's why you got to like, you got
• 59:04
  Speaker 4: to kind of lean, you know, we all want to
• 59:06
  Speaker 4: be seen a certain way, look good and all this stuff,
• 59:09
  Speaker 4: but you got to kind of lean into your flaws
• 59:10
  Speaker 4: a little bit if you're a comic.
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: Well, lean into humanity. Yeah. I think humanity is important.
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: I think technology is obviously very important, but I also
• 59:18
  Speaker 1: think that like the job of a comic is to
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: like kind of remember.
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: That human beings exist.
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 59:26
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
• 59:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: Isn't that profound? That was really good, yeah. Isn't that profound?
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: That's the type of shit I say that's the dumbest shit,
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: but it sounds good. I'll be like, the job of
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: a comedian.
• 59:38
  Speaker 2: Is to remember that human beings exist, you know?
• 59:42
  Speaker 3: No, but you're right, because it's those little things, right?
• 59:45
  Speaker 3: Like taking a shit.
• 59:46
  Speaker 4: But we don't get to be the coolest.
• 59:50
  Speaker 2: No.
• 59:51
  Speaker 4: You can be kind of cool. Like, yeah, I want
• 59:54
  Speaker 4: to hang out with that guy. He's cool. But you
• 59:56
  Speaker 4: don't get, you're not fucking.
• 59:58
  Speaker 2: Like, Rogan is very cool. He's cool.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 4: But what I'm saying is that Keanu Reeves, John Wick,
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 4: that's not a comedian. That's another thing. Who's the coolest?
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 3: Anthony Bourdain was pretty.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: Cool, I thought.
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but he wasn't a comic, right?
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: No, no, no.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 3: Just cool in general. Who's the coolest?
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: I gotta be honest with you, and you're probably gonna
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: disagree with this as a mother, I like Casey Anthony.
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: I like her free spirit.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 3: She's cool.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: I like that she has a free spirit. Get her
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: out now. Let's see what she looks like. I like
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: I like her.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 4: I like that smile right there in the second. Yeah.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: That's a fun smile. Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 3: And that's in court.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. I like her. I like, I think it's,
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: I like strength. Sure.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 2: I like female strength.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 4: Do you have a 2023 photo of her? Like, do
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 4: we see, can we, I wonder what she looks like.
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 3: What is that expression?
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: I mean.
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 4: That's like, oopsie.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 3: She's like playing coy.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 4: Oh, there's less of a smile now.
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, because she's in, this is what she's, well,
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: she's right now. In that photo right there, she just
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: remembered she killed her daughter. That's always a rough moment.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 1: That right there, where is Casey Anthony now? That photo,
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 1: she goes, oh, shit, I killed her.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 4: When you're a kid and they take photos in school
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 4: and they're like thinking, and right now they're like, hey,
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 4: you killed your daughter, and then snap.
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: Look at that Disney photo from TMZ.
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 4: Look at her.
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 1: She's at Disney World. This is what I think is
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: so cool about her. Go up. It's the middle one
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 1: on top. So somebody go at her at Disney World.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: She's put on a few pounds. She's looking at kids'
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 1: toys at Disney World. This is what I like about her.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: She's not letting you shame her because she's out there going,
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: I'm living my best life. She's still a mother.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 3: Going back to, she's still a mother?
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 2: She's still a mother.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 3: Like, does she have kids again?
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 2: No. No, but I consider her a mother.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: At heart, yeah.
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 2: She's a famous mother.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 3: Can you imagine going to Disney without the kids?
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. Disney World, I think, in Casey Anthony's defense,
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: is really fun for people of all ages. Now, I'm
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 1: against that. I've made fun of it. But I think
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: she's really getting the most out of it.
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 3: Well, people like to get loaded at Disney World, is
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 3: what I hear. There's like five bars there or something. Wow,
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 3: she's really cool. Who's that guy?
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 2: I think that's her father.
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: Or maybe not.
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 3: The dog's cute.
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 4: I bet she's fun to date, though.
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 2: Here's the thing with her. She's just fun.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah, she's a good time. Anyone who'd do something like
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 4: that is also game for other shit. You know what
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 4: I mean? Oh, dude.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: I mean, she'll dine and dash.
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 4: Exactly.
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine? Be like, hey, the waitress hasn't gotten
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: her check. Why don't we get out of here? She's like,
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: that seems inconsiderate. You're like, Casey? She's like, all right,
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 1: I get it.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: And there's no like.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 4: There's no sexual favor you can ask that she's going
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 4: to be like, I'm not that kind of girl.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: You're like, she's not saying no to anal if she
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 1: put her daughter in a bank.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: There's absolutely no way that's happening. And I do appreciate her.
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 1: I mean, there's something about her. And I hope she
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: becomes an actress or something because I think she's got
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 1: a lot to give. I want to thank both of
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: you because, you know, you're so funny. What you've done
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 1: here is so crazy impressive. with all of the different
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: podcasts you guys have.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 4: Thank you.
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: It's insanely amazing to watch. It's amazing, and it's just amazing.
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: I'm down here doing Mothership, which I gave Joe Rogan
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: the money to open. We don't have to talk about it.
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 1: We don't have to talk about it. He didn't have
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: any money. He called me, and he said, Do you
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: have money? I said, I have a little bit. I
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: wrote him a check to open that club. That was
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 1: super nice of you.
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 1: It's really nice of me, and I don't bring it
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 1: up a lot, but I bring it up to humanize him,
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: because he did not have any money. He doesn't have
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 1: any money.
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 4: It's all fake. It's fake money.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 1: So, but no, it's amazing, like, what you guys have done.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 4: Thank you.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: Thanks.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 4: Truly. It's been fun to watch you, you know, you
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 4: were one of the people where I was like, oh man,
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 4: just stay on the path, you know?
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 4: Just keep doing what you're doing. You already made it,
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 4: so you just have to, like, The only way you
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 4: can fuck it up is by, like, stop doing what
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 4: you're doing, you know?
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 2: No, we're going to keep doing stuff. We're going to
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 2: keep trying to be funny.
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 1: You know, we're going to keep doing all the things that,
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: I guess, you know, people do until there's a new thing.
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, then we'll all try that.
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: We'll all try that. The new thing, yeah.
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 4: But you were supposed to be at the CPAP machine,
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 4: the new movie with Bert Kreischer. Yes, yes.
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 1: The fat machine.
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 2: And I wasn't at it.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 4: You weren't at it.
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 2: Because I'm doing a lot of work right now with
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 2: orphans in the Ukraine.
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 4: Oh, I didn't know that.
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 1: A lot of orphans in the Ukraine are being shipped
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: to Austin, Texas. And I'm making sure that to get
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 1: raised in good Christian families. And I've been working with
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 1: a lot of the orphaned, Ukrainian orphans. But I love Bert.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: I hope the movie does well. I hope all the
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 1: movies do well, all the comedy movies.
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 2: Me too.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: Sebastian's movie. Everybody that's putting movies out, it helps all
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 1: of us.
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 4: It really does.
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 1: Definitely, dude.
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 2: To have people go out there and see comedy movies.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 4: And I also hope that you spend more time in
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 4: Austin than L.A. Come on, man.
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: L.A.
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 2: Is a dump.
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: Well, everything's a dump except Palm Beach and the Hamptons.
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 1: That's the reality. That's just the reality. Do you go
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 1: to Palm Beach? The reality is real money every now
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: and then. Real money... It's East Coast. It's Greenwich, Connecticut, Manhattan,
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 1: Palm Beach. Why do you think Epstein didn't live in L.A.?
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: They never went to L.A. Ghislaine Maxwell was never in L.A.
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 1: The top human traffickers consistently choose the East Coast.
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 2: The top.
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 1: Um, and that's a reality, but I spent a lot
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 1: of time here. This is my residence and I'm here
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: and I love it.
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 1: I am here.
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you are.
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: You know, I pop in and pop out and, and
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 1: it is something that I, I was born here and
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 1: I was raised here.
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: So it's a different experience. I'm a ranch hand and I,
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: I believe in the, you know, whatever the hell's going on.
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 2: But I like it. It's a beautiful place.
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 1: Tom Segura, Christina Pazitsky, the Your Mom's House podcast, the
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 1: Two Bears podcast with Tom.
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 4: And I'll also say, can I say this?
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, of course.
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 4: My new special, Sledgehammer, comes out 4th of July on Netflix.
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 2: Sledgehammer, 4th of July on Netflix.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 3: Oh, I'm in Toronto and Winnipeg finally, September 6th and 7th.
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 3: Come see me there.
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 2: Fuck, yeah.
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm stoked. And where are my moms at? Have
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 3: you done that one? You've done that one.
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 2: I should do it.
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 1: I haven't done it.
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd love to have you and we can talk
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 3: schizo moms.
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 1: I'm a mother.
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 1: The pre-order of the book, the code is going to
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 1: be in the YouTube description and a bunch of other
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 1: places on my social media, probably my Instagram bio.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 2: It's going to be a lot of fun.
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 4: I'm excited for the book.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 2: Thank you, guys.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: I really appreciate it.
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much.