Latest / DA CREW Podcast / DA CREW PODCASTSEASON 1_ EPISODE #44 HOST TRIVEDA HARRIS _(SHOW #7))

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DA CREW PODCASTSEASON 1_ EPISODE #44 HOST TRIVEDA HARRIS _(SHOW #7)) · DA CREW Podcast

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Bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo b I Queen Queen seeeeee.
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Good evening and welcome to Believing the Journey Podcast where I am your host,
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Trevida Harris. And this is a very very special episode for mothers. This
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is episode number seven and it could not be more special because it is Mother's
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Day. And so I want to thank you guys for tuning in and welcome
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to Believe in the Journey Podcast. As always, we always got to start
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with our prayer and thanking God for having us here. So let's go to
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God in prayer. Thank you God for allowing us to be here together on
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this very special occasion. Please watch over all of the mothers who have probably
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not set down anywhere today but because they are always going to be in mothering
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mode. But we thank you for giving us the journey of being mothers to
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our biological children, other people's children's, our niece and nephews, cousin's friends,
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anybody that you have instilled that mother and instinct. To please bless them
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today in any way that you see fit for them. In your purchase name
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Jesus, we pray, Amen, and I want to give a brief introduction
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of my guests tonight. Her name is Natasha Robinson. She is born and
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raised in Los Angeles, California. She recently moved to Little Rock, Arkansas.
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She is a foster mom. She's a birth duel. She's also a
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published author in two anthology books, Pretty Sad, Volume two and Volume four.
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She is currently working on her own anthology and that is entitled You're Just
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a Foster Parents. She's also a podcast host of the Remedy with Natasha.
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She battles diabetes and chronic kidney disease and it's on dialysis. Her motto is
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go as far as you can see, and when you get there, go
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even further. So I want to welcome my guests and miss Natasha Robinson for
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tonight. Hello for being here, and a happy Mother's Day to you.
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Well, thank you, thank you. What have you been doing today?
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The usual, cook, a little bit of cleaning. Look, you thought
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we were gonna have the day off, but that never ever works for moms.
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No, not at all. So I want to talk to you about
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becoming a foster mom. What made you decide to start that journey into being
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a foster mom? Well, um, because I am, you know,
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battling you know, diabetes with the chronic Kenny disease and living on dialasis.
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Um, Um, I'm unable to actually have my own or carry my own
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child. So UM, I looked into becoming a foster mom, well foster
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to adopt. Yeah, so that's that's where it started. I wanted to
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have my own child. Okay, Now since you have um started that journey.
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How many children do you have? Well, currently, I don't have
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any because I did just recently move to Arkansas, so I have to wait
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until like moving to a bigger place, which is actually coming soon. I
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had two babies, um, different times, with two babies under my belt.
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Okay, And how was the experience the first time being a foster mom?
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How was that It was? Um, it was unreal because it was
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like Bam, a baby just pops up. But I mean I really loved
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it, um, you know, waking up to her, seeing her smile,
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Um, it was it was really just beautiful living in the moments with
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her. Um. You know, I had my days where it was like
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I gotta get up and make a bottle in the middle of the night,
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I gotta change a diaper, and she didn't pooped all everywhere. Now I
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got to throw everything into the washer. But I mean it was part of
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the experience and I really really loved it. Like, you know, how
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old How old was she when you got her? When I got her,
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she was about two and a half months, Okay, so she was really
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basically a newborn, so the spirit Okay, now listen for me, I
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was a team mom. I had my daughter when I was seventeen years old.
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So being a team mom is hard in itself. But you know,
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taking on the responsibilities of a child that you didn't give birth to is a
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little different, but at the same time, it has its similarities. What
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challenges do you feel that you faced as being a foster mom. I think,
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well, the biggest challenge was being physical, especially through my treatment days.
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You know, having a treatment then coming home and having to take care
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of a baby was a lot, but I still did it. And then
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the other challenge I didn't even have nothing to do with my baby. It
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was more of the bio part where yeah, it was that it was I
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when I wanted girl, Like I just never knew an adult can make so
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much excuses, especially when it came to seeing their child, and you know,
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um it was just because it was like, you know, you just
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sometimes you don't understand. You know, you understand, but you don't understand
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because it's like, how can you make an excuse and this is your baby,
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you know what I mean? And yeah, that was I think we
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all faced that, whether it's biological fostering, niece, nephew, cousins,
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our grandma, granddad. I think we all face that type of excuse when
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it's the absent parent, because they will have every excuse under the son to
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not actually step up and participate where it's needed. But then when the child
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is actually older and can ask the questions, they don't always still want to
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take accountability for their absence. They will blame everyone else under the son versus
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themselves. And I think that is one of the things that it doesn't matter
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whether is biological foster, our adoptive mom. I think that is one thing
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that is the same all the way around. You're gonna have those parents male
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and female, so mothers and fathers who are just that dead beat parent and
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it doesn't change either way. Um with the challenges of being a foster mob,
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you basically still continue to do that and it fulfills you in many different
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ways. What is the most fulfilling thing that you've gained from being a foster
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mom. Just the experience of being a mom here, you know, and
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just watching you know, the baby develop and grow learn, um and knowing
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that I had a part of it, you know. Um. Yeah,
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just just watching you know, her grow and you know, see how she
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gets bigger, and you know, she does these little things and you know,
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just experiencing like I didn't actually get to experience her first step or her
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first words, but I did experience her her first you know, trying to
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crawl and clapping her hands and you know, you know, taking her first
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bath without crying, you know, you know, just holding the bottles like
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little things, and you know it was just like wow, like you know,
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yeah, the whole her growing. Yeah. I think that is one
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of the things that as we get older and we watch our children, we
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remember those steps. My children now are grown. My oldest is twenty six,
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my middle one is twenty three, and my youngest is twenty and so
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my older child have had babies. Now I have a boy and a girl,
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grandson, granddaughter, and I love to hear those stories of them watching
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their children and the first things that they're doing. Now. And it's funny
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because my daughter is overly dramatic when it comes to everything, and so it
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has been an experience from the day she said that she was pregnant, it
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has been an experience. Our other guest is here, so we're gonna bring
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her up and nast an Estelma Dickerson. She's a retired nurse as state worker
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for Pennsylvania. She's a mother of three children. She's also the foster mom
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of three, which one is her niece and two were her nephews. She
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has her doctorate in theology. She's a marriage officient, she's a master life
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coach and family counselor. She wrote a cookbook and that's because she enjoys cooking
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and she also enjoys writing poetry. This is my I want to say,
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my adoptive mom because she took me in as one of her children. So
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instead of it being three adoptive our foster parents, foster children, I am
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the fourth one. So Emma, how you doing. I don't do.
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I'm pretty good, sweetheart. High with everybody doing on Mother's Day. Happy
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Mother's Day. So the massage girl, I'm sorry, I was getting a
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massage. Oh, we'll see you didn't take me with you. I know
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my need surprised me. See, Lisa, you'll need surprised you. She
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offered me to come. She say, girl, come on, we're gonna
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do this together next time, I promise. Okay, Well, I want
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to talk to you about motherhood. Of course, you have your your set
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of twins, and then you have your other child, and then you also
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is the foster mom of your niece and your nephews. So what has been
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the most challenging thing for you with raising your children? They all were disabled,
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So when most mothers to their kids off this college, I am still
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taking care of my children like you would a teenager or you know, a
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child. H that's the most challenging thing because I never stopped being a mother
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because they still need me, right, I don't think they'll ever stop needing.
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The motherhood role is always there, indefinitely. I don't care how old
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you get, because I'm pretty sure that you still call your mom from time
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to time to well, I sure do. Yeah, So I don't think
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that role as a mother ever ever stops. Like once we enter in that
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role, we're there for life, Like before I even had my own children,
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I believe I was destined to be a mother because I was babysitting my
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cousins all the time. I was doing hair, I was babysitting overnight,
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I was making bottles, And I was like, y'all trust me with y'all
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kids like this. I don't even trust me with myself, but y'all gonna
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trust me. Not only trust me like that, but they trusted me overnight.
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I was twelve years old and I unhappy hello. So it was like
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it was just it was a difference of you trust me enough to keep your
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child overnight and I can well, nothing did happen to her, But you
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know what happened. It's just going the internet. You know how it does.
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It does its own little thing, you know. And before we got
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on, like I had to log all the way out. It shut my
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computer all the way out. I had to log all the way back in.
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I had to change the passwork just to get in. But the devil
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will not win. We're still gonna still gonna do what we need to do
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because God said so. So yeah, we're still gonna do what we need
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to do. And we're gonna talk about this motherhood because mothers, there is
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no other love like the love that you get from your mom. I don't
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care how old you get. I don't care if the relationship was not the
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greatest, you still seek that love from your mom. I can honestly say
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that my mom and I did not have the greatest relationship. However, these
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last few months have I have learned a lot about myself, and I've learned
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a lot about my mom. And the things that I've learned about myself is
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I understand why I'm so stubborn now. I understand why I'm so hardheaded now
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because my mother is very stubborn. She is very hardheaded. She's been fussing
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at me because I've been trying to help her. And she told me that
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I needed to let her do what she needed to do. And I'm like,
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but Mama, you can't do this right now, so can you please
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allow me to help you where you can't? And so she was like,
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well, I guess so, okay, Well you ain't gotta have no little
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I had a tutor, but I'm just trying to right. But like since
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I was six years old, I've been taking care of my stubbling. So
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I never got a chance to have a childhood of my own because I was
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raising my sisters. Yea, what it was time for me to have my
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own. It was easy for me because I had been doing it for so
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long. Yeah. I think when you start out as as a younger person
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with babysitting and doing things to that, you naturally fall into the role of
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mom. Yeah. Yeah, you naturally fall into And now I will say
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this about myself, since I was a team mom. Had my daughter at
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seventeen. The one thing that I had to go and ask God, like,
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God, listen, you're giving me a little girl. I don't know
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what to do with her. I grew up with boys, so I knew
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what to do with them. So I'm like, God, listen, um,
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what I'm supposed to do with her? Because I really don't know.
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She loves to get her hair done, she loves to do her nails,
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she loves to go shopping, and I'm like, oh my god, I
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do not like any of that at all. Still to this day, and
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if she's like, my We're gonna get our nails done, I'm like,
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really, do do I have to go? She's like, yeah, you
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have to go because I'm paying for it, and I'm like, okay,
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but how long is this gonna be? Then it's either Mom, we're going
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to the mall? Why what's you going in there? For? What you
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need? How long we're playing on? Stand? Because I listen, y'all,
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I just can't. I'm not that person. I'm not that. I
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am not. Now. You put me in the kitchen. I got you.
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I got all day in the kitchen. But any anything and I ain't
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got you. You won't go shopping, you won't go to the a mall.
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You want to go get your nails done? Now, I can do
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your hair too, I can do that, but yeah, anything outside of
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that, Yeah, it's a struggle for me. I'm not that mama.
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Now, he was mean. I was raised with older so the youngest person
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in my house was seventeen going on eighteen. So I was learning things very
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fast. I mean I graduated sixteen years of age because they would throw a
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pencil in a piece of paper in my face and say, go sit down,
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go write your numbers, go write your name, and things of that
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nature. So I grew up with nothing but teens and boys. Yeah.
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See that was my family. It was mostly boys. I was the first
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girl out of five boys. And then after that it was two more boys
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and then another girl. So it was just like and that's how it still
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is to this in this family to this day. We gotta buy a girl
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basically because we just don't have them. You know, we gotta we gotta
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buy them. You know, it's like, okay, did we get one?
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So Kyla had a little girl and Mica had a little boy. However,
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yeah, and so before that it was just boys and lame opposite with
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me. We have a bunch of girls, we barely have any boy.
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Well, listen, we can trade. We can trade. Let's do it.
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Let's do it. We can definitely trade because I swear and I'll just
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be lacking. And when the girls come, like my my granddaughter, I'm
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not really gonna know what to do with hook. I mean, I can
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comb my hand. I can teach her how to cook, and that's about
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all I can do. I can teach her how to do that. But
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you know, watching my mom over these last couple of weeks, as I
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said, I've learned how I where I got the stubbornness from. You can
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attest to this because you you've been listening to my kids and they have called
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you when I'm not listening. So so I have really and truly learned where
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I get that from and seeing her, and she still fusses at me,
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and I'm like, my listening right now today, you you can't fuss at
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me. You can't do that. She was like, yes, I can't,
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because you need to go home and you need to rest. And I'm
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like, okay, but I have to come and see you and tend to
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you and make sure. She was like, yeah, I understand, you
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need to do that. But when you get home, you go lay down
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and you you take your bath, you eat your food, and you get
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in that bed. But guess what she does. She'll call Nathan and tell
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Nathan on me, and then they both get on my case. And I'm
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like, okay, so what we're doing we do You are a hardy,
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yes, ma'am, so we gotta put in your place and collar collar is
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quiet. She don't call nobody, but she'll call me in a heartbeat.
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I fell off the bed trying to put on my shoes to find out where
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you was. Okay, in my defense, I okay, all moms know
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this that when you're overwhelmed and you've had enough, you try to escape and
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you don't want to answer no phone calls, no text message or no nothing.
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So that particular morning, I didn't let Nathan know because Nathan is the
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only child that I have still at home, so I didn't let you know
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that I was leaving. So I left the house and I went to the
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lake and I was enjoying the peacefulness of the lake. Now, yes,
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they called my phone, they text me. I wasn't answering. So my
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daughter decides that she's gonna call everybody. So she called. And this is
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the one of the messages that my child left me all my phone. She's
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she said, if you do not answer your phone in the next five minutes,
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I want please and tell them that you're an endangered white woman and that
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you need to be found exactly so you can imagine how that was. Yes,
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Miss Tamila, I'm gonna get me some rest at some point. I
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don't know when that's gonna be, but i'm gonna. I'm gonna try.
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I can't promise nothing, And that's like I told my mama, I can't
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promise, but I'm gonna try. You know, though, get me a
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heads up block could stop falling out of beds and getting are you ready to
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come down there. Don't talk Carolina to find your But the fall I care
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about. I didn't know that they were gonna call you and tell you that
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at I know I shouldn't laugh about this, but the way you told the
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story, it was like you had one shoe on and you was trying to
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put the other one on, and you had put the wig on and split
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out the bed. I call them like, we found them. We found
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them, We found the MoMA. We found what you talk to, hand
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on the kid and one hand on the shoe. I don't play when it
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comes to my baby. I'm all my way. You're at the host thirst
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team out. I was just trying to give me some peace and quiet.
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And then I seen one of my adoptive children from the neighborhood where I used
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to live. She saw me, So I was like, you know what,
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I got to move to another spot because she might call and tell my
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kids that she's seen me at this lake right here, So let me go
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to the other one. So I left from that lake and went to the
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one because I was like, I'm just trying to enjoy the piece and quiet.
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I don't want to talk to nobody. I don't want to hear nothing
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from nobody. But they literally called every single body that they knew to a
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call and there was like, you talk to my mama. She answered her
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phone, and so the message Kyler left was, Yeah, if you don't
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answer this phone, we gonna I'm calling the Sheriff's department to tell them born
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endangered white no and endangered white old who needs some hell? And I'm like,
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why would you do that? She said, because you wasn't answering the
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phone. That's love. That's love right there. Yeah, that's love.
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That is the love that they have for their mama, and I'm grateful for
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it. You know. Let me tell y'all something. This is what I
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got a text the other day while I was at working. It was from
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Kyla. Her and Nathan obviously have been talking. This is what the text
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message said, and it said, you can no longer have a hot mom
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summer. You are somebody's grandma now, so your hot mom summers are old.
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Your grandchild absolutely absolutely, But mom summer or hot girl summer or whatever
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you call it. So you disappeared mom bummer. It was right there.
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It was mom, you being a hot mom. You wanted to not be
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bothered. So you was hot. I just wanted some peace and quiet.
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I didn't want nobody calling my name. I didn't want nobody saying nothing.
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I didn't. I just didn't want to be bothered. And I was gonna
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say that was you you know, interpretation of a hot mom. But it
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was, it was, It was right here. I mean, I would
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not trade anything with my kids for nothing, but my kids. I I
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know that I did this, and I ain't even gonna try to blame nobody
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else for this. My kids are bossy, and I know where they Wow.
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I wonder where they got that from. I ain't say I'm gonna blame
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nobody else. I'm gonna take full responsibility for it. But I sometimes,
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mom, Wait now, you can't be on the side all the time,
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all the time. Just ain't bright. See you be taking this side.
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You're supposed to be on my side sometime. Okay, I'm on it right
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now. Go ahead, tell you a little story, sip all right.
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As soon as I said, you gonna flip you like m That's what they're
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supposed to do. That's what they're supposed to do. See, No,
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you can't do you got you gotta be on my side. You got you
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gotta stay over here, all right, I'm gonna on this, Okay,
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thank you, Okay, Well, Natasha, I'm gonna tell you this.
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As the kids get older, especially the girls, you're going to who Lord
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Jesus. When they hit them them double digits, they changed all the way
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from one little one, that sweet little innocent little girl that you once knew
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ye to a tipotential fool. Yeah, you'll be like, where did that
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sweet little girl go? Because this one right here, I want to choke
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right now because you say one other little smart little thing to me. I'm
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finna Jesus gonna come see you and be because um, we ain't gonna build
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yes because you who Lord. But with my boys, I will say this,
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my oldest son, we had our moments because he is me in male
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form, And anytime you would argue, this was his comeback every single time.
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And it is you know, you arguing with yourself. M And I
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was like, you know no, that was Micah, Micah who Yeah,
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he said, you know you arguing with yourself? Right, I'm like,
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okay, you know what, Jesus gonna come see you, so um you
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bet go talk to him because um, you gotta come on me since sir
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he talked about Blama. I'm just being honest. I'm the male version of
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you because I have a very high tolerance for pain. He does too.
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He's very athletic. I was once upon a time. I'm too old for
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all that now. But anyway, um, that's a whole another little story
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right there. I ain't got that no more. But I taught him how
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to play football, basketball. They did a little baseball too, so they
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got all of that. And I didn't deal well with any of them.
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So whimpering and the crying, especially when it came to my boys. It
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was simply when my boys would cry, and they would be crying for absolutely
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no reason. Their middle names are Alexander and de Shaun, so I would
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give them girl names when they would start crying for absolutely no reason. And
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so it was Debbie and Amber when they was active. So they were like,
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why do you do I said, because if you're gonna cry and one
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like a little girl, these are your names that I'm gonna address you as.
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And so that was what I would do, and that broke them out
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of the habits of crime for unnecessary reasons. Now, they were always able
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to cry their feelings were heard, or sad or upset about something. However,
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when they were just crying because I don't know, somebody took their toy
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and they got the same toy that the other one got. Or somebody took
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their ball, and I'm like, it's thirty sells in this house. Why
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are you crying over this one? Just go get another ball. We got
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a whole thirty gallon tub of balls. Pick one. We're not doing that,
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Debby and or dio what we gonna do today? So, but I
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have taught all three of my children how to cook, how to care for
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themselves outside of my presence. But this is one thing that my kids are
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fussing with me right about now. My daughter told my mama on me today.
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She said that I'm not cooking anymore. And I said, well,
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Mama, I don't have time to cook. I'm always on the goal right
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now. So Kayler told my mama. She said, Granny, your daughter
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not cooking for us no more. And my mama was actually on my side.
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She said, well, your mama busy, so you can cook.
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Go cook. That's the old soul that you had. You act like an
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old soul, little old old lady, Well, Lison, I mean,
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I don't know nothing else. I mean what we older older um people,
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and so I always around them, and you know, I don't know anything
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other than that. So I'm old. My kids tell me I'm out of
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the loop. They would try to do trapped out Saturdays and trapped out Tuesdays
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to keep me up the day on the lingo and stuff like that, y'all.
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I don't have no clue on what they'd be talking about, and would
33:30
analyze the songs when they on the radio and listen if it don't make sense
33:36
to me, I got to ask a question, you know, that is
33:38
what I have to do. But then they say, Mom, just listen,
33:42
just listen. But motherhood is one of those things that you'll never ever
33:50
compare to anything else. Is something that beats all you know, whether it's
33:58
a good relationship or a bad relationship. A child is always gonna long for
34:01
that that love because you can't find it anywhere else, and you only get
34:07
one no matter how good or how bad that relationship is. Always know that
34:14
your mother loves you, and always remember that your mom was a child at
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one point two, so some of the things that she carried into her adulthood,
34:22
she didn't heal from So don't be angry with them because they're still learning
34:29
as well. But I want to thank you both for being here. Do
34:36
y'all have any questions that you want to ask me? You know, I
34:38
will monopolize a conversation when I got something to say, you know. But
34:45
other than that, motherhood is a journey. It's never ending, and the
34:51
gifts and the rewards being a mom outweigh any anything else. So thank you
35:00
for being here. And as I always say, mine Joe business and stay
35:07
out of God's. Hi, Yes, mine Joe business, and stay out
35:14
of God's because he don't need nothing but you to be obedient to what he's
35:17
called you to do. So I thank you both for being here. Thank
35:22
everyone for tuning in to the seventh episode of Believing the Journey podcast. Make
35:27
sure you tune in on Thursday, the twenty seventh. I Believe it is.
35:31
I might have my dates. I'll forgive me for that because I've been
35:36
on the goal and I don't even know what day of the week it is.
35:38
I just know it's Mother's Day today and I'm grateful that I'm able to
35:43
share it with you. Guys. So make sure you guys tune in next
35:46
Thursday, not this coming Thursday, but the following Thursday, fourth Thursday of
35:50
every month to believe in the Journey Podcast. Until then, I love y'all,
35:55
Thank you, thank you for having me, thank you out of me.
36:01
Great segment, Queen I won to Sweet Sweet Sweet, I'm not.
36:25
It was a sweet sweet sweet se