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Voddie Baucham - Leading As A Husband & Father · Voddie Baucham Sermons

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Speaker 1: Well, good morning. Praise God for another day and another
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Speaker 1: opportunity to worship Him. If you have your Bibles with
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Speaker 1: you this morning, we will open up to where we
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Speaker 1: left off on last night in the book of Ephesians.
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Speaker 1: We're going to look today at Ephesians chapter 5 and
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Speaker 1: chapter 6. Today we address the issue of a man's
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Speaker 1: leadership in his home, his leadership of his family. This
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Speaker 1: is a crucial topic, for in fact, a man's leadership
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Speaker 1: in his home is pivotal not only to the church,
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Speaker 1: but also to the state. It was Manton who said
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Speaker 1: that the home is the seminary of both the church
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Speaker 1: and the state. The home is the place where leaders
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Speaker 1: for the church are forged. In fact, a man is
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Speaker 1: to be examined for leadership in the church by first
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Speaker 1: looking at his track record of leadership in his home.
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Speaker 1: It is a man's leadership in his family that is
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Speaker 1: foundational to determining whether or not he is even qualified
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Speaker 1: for leadership among God's people. This is crucial. It is
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Speaker 1: also the home that is the place where citizens are
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Speaker 1: forged for the state. The state has no charge, no responsibility,
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Speaker 1: or no jurisdiction over children informing them as future citizens.
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Speaker 1: It is the home that is charged with this duty,
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Speaker 1: with this responsibility. It is the home that forges the
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Speaker 1: character of future leaders in the state. where we learn
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Speaker 1: to follow and where we learn to lead. So it
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Speaker 1: is absolutely critical that we look here in Ephesians chapter
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Speaker 1: 5 and 6 and see what it actually means for
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Speaker 1: a man to lead in his home. First, listen to
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Speaker 1: this from James Alexander, speaking about the issue of a
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Speaker 1: man and his leadership in his home.' He is their head.
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Speaker 1: He is such by a divine and unalterable constitution.' These
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Speaker 1: are duties and prerogatives which he cannot alienate. There is
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Speaker 1: something more than mere precedence in age, knowledge, or substance.
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Speaker 1: He is the father and the master. No act of
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Speaker 1: his and nothing in his character can fail to leave
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Speaker 1: a mark on those around him. A man is the head, master,
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Speaker 1: and leader of his home. And there's nothing he can
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Speaker 1: do about that. He will either lead effectively or he
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Speaker 1: will lead poorly, but he will lead. A man's failing
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Speaker 1: to lead is actually a man leading in failure. This
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Speaker 1: is not optional. There are, however, objections to the idea
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Speaker 1: of a man leading in his home. There are those objections,
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Speaker 1: of course, that we would not be surprised by in
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Speaker 1: the culture at large. We know that the feminist movement
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Speaker 1: has huge problems with what I've just said. The idea
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Speaker 1: that the man is the head of his household, that
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Speaker 1: the man is the leader in his family. Ari Horkman,
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Speaker 1: a leader in the United Nations Population Fund, has in
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Speaker 1: fact referred to the breakdown in the family in the
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Speaker 1: West as a triumph. It's a good thing, he argues. Why?
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Speaker 1: Why would a man say something like this? Ari Horkman
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Speaker 1: actually argues that high divorce rates, high out-of-wedlock birth rates
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Speaker 1: actually signal a triumph of human rights over patriarchy. In
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Speaker 1: other words— Male headship in the home is oppressive, and
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Speaker 1: divorce and out-of-woodlock birth rates represent liberation from that oppression. Again,
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Speaker 1: it's almost unfathomable that anyone would say such a thing,
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Speaker 1: let alone a leader of the United Nations. But if
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Speaker 1: you're troubled by that, you don't know much about the
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Speaker 1: United Nations. All right. I said that out loud, didn't I? Okay,
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Speaker 1: my bad. Other radical feminists feel the same way. Linda Gordon,
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Speaker 1: for example. Listen to this statement. The nuclear family must
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Speaker 1: be destroyed and people must find better ways of living together.
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Speaker 1: Whatever its ultimate meaning, the breakup of families now is
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Speaker 1: an objectively revolutionary process. No woman should have to deny
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Speaker 1: herself any opportunities because of her special responsibilities to her children. Families...
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Speaker 1: will be finally destroyed only when a revolutionary social and
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Speaker 1: economic organization permits people's needs for love and security to
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Speaker 1: be met in ways that do not impose divisions of
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Speaker 1: labor or any external roles at all. That's radical. But wait,
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Speaker 1: there's more. Andrea Dworkin, under patriarchy, no woman is safe
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Speaker 1: to live her life or to love or to mother children.
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Speaker 1: Under patriarchy or male headship, every woman is a victim, past, present,
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Speaker 1: and future. Under patriarchy, every woman's son is her potential
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Speaker 1: betrayer and also the inevitable rapist or exploiter of another woman.
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Speaker 1: That's our cultural context. But you say, that's out there. Certainly,
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Speaker 1: that's the radical feminist people who don't even claim to
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Speaker 1: know God. But there are also objections in here. Evangelical feminism,
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Speaker 1: as it is euphemistically called, has objections to the idea
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Speaker 1: of male leadership and male headship in the home. There
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Speaker 1: are three basic objections, and we have to deal with
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Speaker 1: these before we move forward with this text here in
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Speaker 1: Ephesians chapter 5. And the reason that we have to
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Speaker 1: deal with these is quite simple, because they have gained
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Speaker 1: much headway in the church. And there are many in
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Speaker 1: the church, even in churches that you would consider, you know,
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Speaker 1: run-of-the-mill conservative evangelical churches. Some of these ideas have crept
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Speaker 1: in and have become assumed ideas. For many of you
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Speaker 1: as students, you assume some or all of this about
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Speaker 1: the idea of male headship. That somehow it's an archaic concept.
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Speaker 1: That somehow it's anachronistic for us to talk about men
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Speaker 1: as heads of their household and to look at passages
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Speaker 1: like Ephesians chapter 5 in that context. Three main arguments.
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Speaker 1: I'll give them to you and then we'll address them
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Speaker 1: in turn. One, the culture of Two, the curse. And three,
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Speaker 1: the confusion. Those are the three arguments. The first argument
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Speaker 1: is the culture. That Paul's admonition to male headship in
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Speaker 1: Ephesians chapter 5, and they have to deal with Ephesians
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Speaker 1: chapter 5, by the way. There's just no way around it.
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Speaker 1: You cannot assault this idea of male headship in the
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Speaker 1: home without somehow dealing with Ephesians chapter 5. So evangelical
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Speaker 1: feminism deals with Ephesians chapter 5 and the first line
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Speaker 1: of argumentation is this is cultural. That Paul here in
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Speaker 1: Ephesians chapter 5 is merely making a cultural statement because
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Speaker 1: of circumstances on the ground as it were. Now the
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Speaker 1: problem with this argument is that the Bible teaches male
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Speaker 1: headship in the home in a number of places. Not
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Speaker 1: only Ephesians 5, but also Colossians 3 and 1 Peter 3,
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Speaker 1: as well as Titus 2 and 5. All of these
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Speaker 1: places we see men called to lead as heads of
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Speaker 1: their household and women called to submit to the leadership
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Speaker 1: of their husbands. But more importantly and more foundational to
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Speaker 1: this is is the teaching in Genesis chapters 1 through
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Speaker 1: 3 would solidify the idea of male headship. So there
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Speaker 1: is no way That what Paul teaches in Ephesians chapter
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Speaker 1: 5 is merely some cultural accommodation that calls for male
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Speaker 1: headship in this particular setting and circumstance and does not
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Speaker 1: see male headship as the norm. This, for example, does
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Speaker 1: not take into consideration Paul's teaching in 1 Corinthians chapter
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Speaker 1: 11 where he says the head of the woman is
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Speaker 1: the man, the head of every man is Christ, and
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Speaker 1: the head of Christ is God. We also see in
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Speaker 1: 1 Timothy chapter 2 that Paul roots male headship in
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Speaker 1: the creation order. Not only do we see that argument,
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Speaker 1: but also the argument of the curse. That actually what
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Speaker 1: we're dealing with here is male headship as a result
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Speaker 1: of the curse. In Genesis chapter 3 and verse 16,
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Speaker 1: when God looks at Eve, or looks at the woman
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Speaker 1: before she was named Eve, and says that because of
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Speaker 1: what she's done, the consequence will be that her desire
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Speaker 1: will be for her husband, but he will rule over you.
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Speaker 1: That's the idea, that when God says that in Genesis
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Speaker 1: chapter 3 and verse 16, you have male headship established
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Speaker 1: as a byproduct of the curse. Listen to this. Her
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Speaker 1: curse now was to be ruled perversely, to long for
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Speaker 1: her husband and he to rule over her. She would
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Speaker 1: want to be dominated by her husband, and he would
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Speaker 1: submit to this desire. God does not command Adam to
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Speaker 1: rule or govern his wife. Rather, the curse is Eve's.
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Speaker 1: The ruling is a consequence of Eve's longing and her fall.
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Speaker 1: That's the argument from evangelical feminism, that this is a
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Speaker 1: product of the fall. Now there are a couple of
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Speaker 1: problems with this. If this is a product of the fall,
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Speaker 1: my first question is, why do we find in Ephesians 5,
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Speaker 1: in Colossians 3, in Titus 2, this same allusion to
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Speaker 1: male headship referring to people who are in Christ who
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Speaker 1: have been redeemed from the curse? If it's just a
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Speaker 1: product of the fall. Here's my second question to those
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Speaker 1: who would argue that male headship is a product of
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Speaker 1: the fall. My second question is this. Have you been
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Speaker 1: in the delivery room with a Christian woman giving birth?
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Speaker 1: You go, what does that have to do with anything? Well, okay.
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Speaker 1: Think about this. Male headship is a product of the fall. Therefore,
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Speaker 1: when we are in Christ, that curse is removed and
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Speaker 1: we no longer have male headship. But God also said
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Speaker 1: to Eve, there will be much pain in her childbearing.
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Speaker 1: So if logically becoming a Christian removes the curse, there
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Speaker 1: ought to be screaming in the delivery room of non-believers
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Speaker 1: and peace and calm in the delivery room of believers.
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Speaker 1: I know better. I was there. I have heard the famous,
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Speaker 1: you did this to me. I have watched the woman
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Speaker 1: whom I love with every fiber of my being turn
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Speaker 1: into a creature who looked at me with eyes that said,
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Speaker 1: if you come too close, I will kill you. Now
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Speaker 1: wipe my forehead. The other problem here is that we
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Speaker 1: see male headship before the fall. We see male headship,
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Speaker 1: for example, in Genesis chapter 2. The woman was made
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Speaker 1: after the man. Male headship. The woman was made for
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Speaker 1: the man. I will make him a helper suitable for him.
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Speaker 1: Male headship. The woman was made from the man. Male headship.
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Speaker 1: The woman was brought to the man. Male headship. And
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Speaker 1: the woman was named by the man. Male headship. And
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Speaker 1: if that's not enough for you, all you have to
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Speaker 1: do is go later on in chapter 3 when Adam
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Speaker 1: receives his curse and God says, because you have listened
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Speaker 1: to the voice of your wife. Because you did not
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Speaker 1: exercise your headship. If that's not enough for you, just
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Speaker 1: go to Romans chapter 5 where Paul doesn't say, because
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Speaker 1: of the sin of one couple, Adam and Eve... Death
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Speaker 1: into the world. No, because of the sin of one man, Adam.
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Speaker 1: Jesus is not referred to as the last Adam and Eve.
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Speaker 1: He's referred to as the last Adam. Why? Male headship.
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Speaker 1: So what's happening there in Genesis 3.16 with the curse? Well,
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Speaker 1: I'm glad you asked. God says your desire will be
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Speaker 1: for your husband, but he will rule over you. Now, unfortunately,
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Speaker 1: our evangelical feminist author here completely misses the nuance of
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Speaker 1: that text. She says that somehow the woman is going
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Speaker 1: to be pining for her husband. If you just go
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Speaker 1: to Genesis chapter 4 and verse 7, you see the
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Speaker 1: identical phrase. God says to Cain in Genesis 4-7, sin
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Speaker 1: is crouching at your door. Its desire is for you,
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Speaker 1: but you must rule over it. God is not saying
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Speaker 1: to Cain, sin is yearning and pining for you. Oh,
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Speaker 1: it loves you. No. No. He is saying, sin's desire
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Speaker 1: is to overtake you, and you must rule over it. See,
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Speaker 1: the curse is not male headship. The curse is the
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Speaker 1: woman's natural rebellion to the headship of the man. That's
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Speaker 1: the curse. Your desire will be to usurp your husband's authority,
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Speaker 1: and yet his authority will not be removed. And because
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Speaker 1: of this desire, there should be a clash between you
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Speaker 1: and your husband. But in this clash, creation order will
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Speaker 1: not be overturned. He will rule over you. That's the
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Speaker 1: nuance there in Genesis chapter 3 and verse 16. Male
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Speaker 1: headship is not invented in Genesis chapter 3. It is
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Speaker 1: reinforced in Genesis chapter 3. But the clash against male
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Speaker 1: headship is what we see as a product of the fall.
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Speaker 1: There is a third argument, and that is the argument
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Speaker 1: of the confusion. That we have completely and utterly misinterpreted
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Speaker 1: this passage here in Ephesians chapter 5. Because we have
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Speaker 1: forgotten verse 21. If you look with me there in
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Speaker 1: Ephesians chapter 5, look at verse 21. Verse 21. And
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Speaker 1: it reads, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
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Speaker 1: So here's the argument. And you find this even in
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Speaker 1: just very conservative circles. The argument is that because of
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Speaker 1: verse 21, what we have is the idea of mutual
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Speaker 1: submission between husband and wife. We don't have the idea
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Speaker 1: of male headship, male leadership within the context and confines
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Speaker 1: of the home. But we have the idea of mutual
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Speaker 1: submission of believers to one another. And they just have
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Speaker 1: sort of different roles within this mutual submission. But the
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Speaker 1: submission is mutual. That's the argument. That we've completely mistaken
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Speaker 1: what Paul meant to say because we have not paid
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Speaker 1: close enough attention to verse 21 in our assertion of
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Speaker 1: male headship. First, let me give you my technical theological response,
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Speaker 1: and then we'll look at this exegetically. My technical theological
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Speaker 1: response to that assertion is not exegetical. But let's do
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Speaker 1: a little exegetical work here, shall we? A couple of problems.
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Speaker 1: One problem is the verb that is used here. Submitting
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Speaker 1: to one another out of reverence for Christ in verse 21. Wives,
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Speaker 1: submit to your own husbands. Now, that verb there in
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Speaker 1: verse 22 is the verb carried over from verse 21. Basically,
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Speaker 1: it says wives to husbands. And the verb there is hupotasso. So,
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Speaker 1: it's actually a military term. And this military term refers
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Speaker 1: to the voluntary submission of an inferior officer to a
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Speaker 1: superior officer or of a soldier to a superior officer.
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Speaker 1: That's what the verb means. It means that you submit
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Speaker 1: to someone because of their rank. You submit to them
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Speaker 1: because of the office that they hold. The problem with
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Speaker 1: the idea of mutual submission is that it doesn't work
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Speaker 1: with this verb. There is no mutual submission in military ranks.
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Speaker 1: The captain does not come to the private and say, private,
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Speaker 1: there are some things that I'd really like to discuss
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Speaker 1: with you. I really... think we need to take that
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Speaker 1: hill over there, but I know we're called to submit
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Speaker 1: to one another mutually, so I'd really like to discuss
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Speaker 1: with you, Private, whether or not you feel like charging
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Speaker 1: that hill over there as we mutually submit to one another.'
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Speaker 1: Private thing coming back and saying, Captain, I really appreciate that.
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Speaker 1: I really appreciate you honoring this mutual submission agreement that
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Speaker 1: we have to one another. There's a machine gun up there,
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Speaker 1: and I just really think maybe, no. Not the way
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Speaker 1: the military works. How does the military work? Superior officer
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Speaker 1: gives order. Inferior gives Salutes and executes. That's how the
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Speaker 1: military works. It is not mutual submission. And that's the term.
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Speaker 1: The term does not allow for the mutual submission interpretation.
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Speaker 1: There is another problem. The second problem is that this
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Speaker 1: mutual submission clause is Supposed mutual submission clause in Ephesians 5.21
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Speaker 1: does not exist in Colossians 3, does not exist in
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Speaker 1: 1 Peter 3, does not exist in Titus 2. So
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Speaker 1: elsewhere where we have the headship of the husband and
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Speaker 1: the submission of the wife, we do not have this
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Speaker 1: mutual submission clause. So here's what evangelical feminism argues. You
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Speaker 1: don't take all of these texts together and read them
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Speaker 1: the way they normally read in all of their senses.
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Speaker 1: You take this one text that has what appears to
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Speaker 1: be a mutual submission clause, and you then superimpose that
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Speaker 1: clause on your reading of all the other texts. That's
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Speaker 1: the argument. Doesn't work that way hermeneutically in anything else
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Speaker 1: that we do, but in this particular instance, that's what
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Speaker 1: we're supposed to do. There is a third problem, and
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Speaker 1: it's the immediate context, broader context problem. In order for
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Speaker 1: us to understand this, and we're going to get to
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Speaker 1: Ephesians chapter 5 and male headship, but trust me, this
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Speaker 1: is necessary. The third problem is when you go back
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Speaker 1: to this text and put it in context, Ephesians chapter
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Speaker 1: 5 and verse 21 is the end of a paragraph, right?
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Speaker 1: I don't know about you, but generally when I start
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Speaker 1: reading something, I go to the beginning of paragraphs, not
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Speaker 1: the end. Maybe you do that. Me, I go to
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Speaker 1: the beginning of the paragraph. So Ephesians chapter 5 verse
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Speaker 1: 21 is the end of a paragraph that begins in
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Speaker 1: Ephesians chapter 5 and verse 15. When we get there,
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Speaker 1: here's what we find. Very interesting. We have three commands.
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Speaker 1: On the third command... You get, excuse me. Go to
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Speaker 1: verse 15 with me. Three contrasts, I'm sorry. Like why
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Speaker 1: is that not what I'm talking about? We get three contrasts.
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Speaker 1: On the third, excuse me, I'm sorry. Just had a
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Speaker 1: senior moment there. We have three contrasts. On the third contrast,
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Speaker 1: you get three commands. And on the third command, you
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Speaker 1: get three contexts. All right. Look at the beginning of
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Speaker 1: verse 15. Let's look at these three contrasts. Look carefully
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Speaker 1: then how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise,
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Speaker 1: making the best use of the time because the days
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Speaker 1: are evil. So there's a contrast. Not unwise, but wise.
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Speaker 1: The second one. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand
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Speaker 1: what the will of the Lord is. There's the second contrast.
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Speaker 1: First one, not unwise, but wise. The second one, not foolish,
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Speaker 1: but understanding the will of the Lord. Here's the third contrast.
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Speaker 1: Do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery,
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Speaker 1: but be filled with the Spirit. There's the third contrast.
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Speaker 1: On the third contrast, you get three commands. Three commands
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Speaker 1: as to how to fill the third contrast. Look at
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Speaker 1: verse 19. First, addressing one another in psalms, hymns, spiritual songs,
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Speaker 1: singing and making melody to the Lord with all your heart.
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Speaker 1: There's the first command. The first command related to what?
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Speaker 1: The third contrast. It's how you live that spirit-filled life.
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Speaker 1: What's the second command? Giving thanks always and for everything
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Speaker 1: to God the Father in the name of our Lord
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Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. There's your second command. Correlated to what? That
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Speaker 1: third contrast, here's how you do it. This is the
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Speaker 1: Spirit-filled life. And then there's the third command, submitting to
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Speaker 1: one another out of reverence for Christ. That's the third
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Speaker 1: command as it relates to the contrast of the Spirit-filled
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Speaker 1: life versus drunk with wine. On the third command, you
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Speaker 1: get three contexts. What are they? Wives to husband, 524
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Speaker 1: to the end of the chapter. Children to parents. 6.1-4,
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Speaker 1: slaves to masters 6.5-9. In other words, Ephesians 5.21 is
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Speaker 1: not the umbrella over the rest of Ephesians chapter 5.
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Speaker 1: It's actually the umbrella over Ephesians 5.22-6.9. And here's why
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Speaker 1: that's important. Because in all of those relationships, the husband-wife relationship,
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Speaker 1: the verb used there is not a mutual submission verb.
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Speaker 1: In the parent-child relationship, not mutual submission. Children are called
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Speaker 1: to hearken to the voice of their parents. Parents are
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Speaker 1: not called to submit to their children. And in the
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Speaker 1: third one, slaves and masters. Masters are not called to
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Speaker 1: submit to their slaves. Slaves are called to submit to
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Speaker 1: their masters. So in each one of these contexts, submission
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Speaker 1: works in one direction. There is a person who is
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Speaker 1: the head, and there is a person who's called to
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Speaker 1: submit to the one who is the head. Therefore, because
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Speaker 1: of all of these things, the idea that we've misunderstood
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Speaker 1: Paul's teaching here... about the husband and his headship in
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Speaker 1: his home is not an acceptable explanation for the text. Instead,
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Speaker 1: what we get is Paul is very clear and unambiguous,
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Speaker 1: and the husband is to exercise headship in his household. Now,
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Speaker 1: here we have the household codes. Whenever you see the
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Speaker 1: household codes, for example, if we go to Colossians chapter 1,
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Speaker 1: or if we go to 1 Peter chapter 3, or
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Speaker 1: if we go to Titus chapter 2, always either right
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Speaker 1: before or right after, you have husband and wife, you
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Speaker 1: have children and parents, and you have slaves and masters.
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Speaker 1: These are household codes. So the first thing we see
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Speaker 1: about a man's leadership in his household is this, that
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Speaker 1: a man's leadership in his household goes to his government
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Speaker 1: of all the affairs of his home. A man's leadership
27:14
Speaker 1: in his household goes to the government of all the
27:16
Speaker 1: affairs in his home. First, yes, there is the idea
27:21
Speaker 1: of a man and his headship and his leadership with
27:25
Speaker 1: his wife. Unfortunately for many of us, that's sort of
27:28
Speaker 1: where we stop. The whole thing is about, is the
27:32
Speaker 1: man the head of his marriage? Yeah, the man's the
27:34
Speaker 1: head of his marriage, but please don't stop there. The
27:37
Speaker 1: man is also the head of his household as it
27:40
Speaker 1: relates to the training and discipleship of his children, which
27:44
Speaker 1: means men cannot and must not abdicate when it comes
27:48
Speaker 1: to the training and discipleship of their children. Here's the
27:51
Speaker 1: great irony. The great irony is we have men who
27:54
Speaker 1: want to stand up and pound their chest. Yes, the
27:57
Speaker 1: Bible says I am the head. I am the head
27:59
Speaker 1: of my marriage. So when my wife and I have
28:01
Speaker 1: a disagreement, I have the last word. Hurrah. Good for you.
28:10
Speaker 1: Let me ask you this. Are you the chief and
28:13
Speaker 1: principal discipler of your children? Well, see... We'll see when
28:19
Speaker 1: my wife and I, when we're trying to, I'm the
28:26
Speaker 1: boss of her. Have you laid a roadmap for how
28:35
Speaker 1: your children learn to believe the right things in order
28:42
Speaker 1: that they might be transformed by the gospel? But see,
28:48
Speaker 1: the Bible says that my wife, she's supposed to... See,
28:54
Speaker 1: that's where we want to end. But the text says, fathers,
28:59
Speaker 1: do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them
29:01
Speaker 1: up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Does
29:04
Speaker 1: this mean that my wife doesn't have a role to
29:06
Speaker 1: play in the discipleship of my children? No. No. Any
29:09
Speaker 1: more than it means that my wife doesn't have a
29:10
Speaker 1: role to play in any of the other aspects of
29:13
Speaker 1: our family life. But the idea here is that I
29:16
Speaker 1: am to exercise headship when it comes to the discipleship
29:20
Speaker 1: of my children. We have lost this. We have missed this.
29:27
Speaker 1: And let me say a word in particular to those
29:30
Speaker 1: of you who are considering the ministry. There has been
29:35
Speaker 1: an idea in generations past. You take care of God's
29:40
Speaker 1: business and he'll take care of your family. This same
29:44
Speaker 1: idea is the idea that has allowed evangelists to be
29:49
Speaker 1: world-renowned while they spend three, four, five, six months at
29:56
Speaker 1: a time away from their families in the name of
30:00
Speaker 1: serving the Lord. This attitude has been the excuse for
30:04
Speaker 1: pastors who devote their lives to taking care of the
30:08
Speaker 1: problems in everyone else's household while they neglect their family
30:13
Speaker 1: so commonly that we have a phrase called the PK,
30:18
Speaker 1: which refers to these neglected, untrained, undisciplined, undiscipled children who
30:23
Speaker 1: grew up in pastors' households but were not discipled there.
30:29
Speaker 1: And it's sin, pure and simple. My first calling, my
30:35
Speaker 1: first ministry is to be Bridget's husband and Jasmine, Trey, Elijah, Asher, Judah, Micah,
30:43
Speaker 1: and Safia's father. Yep, this many. That's my job. Go
31:05
Speaker 1: and make disciples of every people group. We love that
31:10
Speaker 1: great commission, don't we? Baptizing them in the name of
31:13
Speaker 1: the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. Teaching them to
31:15
Speaker 1: observe all the things that I've taught you. Let me
31:16
Speaker 1: ask you this. How dare I do that out there
31:22
Speaker 1: and not do it at home? How dare I disciple
31:26
Speaker 1: your children and fail to disciple mine? That is my
31:35
Speaker 1: duty as a father. This last one we're uncomfortable with.
31:40
Speaker 1: This idea of a father and his headship in the
31:43
Speaker 1: context of a slave master relationship. Let me explain this
31:47
Speaker 1: to you. And this one, it used to be difficult
31:49
Speaker 1: for me as well. There's a family in our church
31:53
Speaker 1: who got an opportunity to move to the Middle East.
31:59
Speaker 1: And There in the Middle East, this individual was a pilot.
32:02
Speaker 1: He was recruited by an airline over in the Middle East.
32:05
Speaker 1: There in the country where they live, it is common
32:08
Speaker 1: for households to have servants. In fact, you can't find
32:12
Speaker 1: a place to rent there that doesn't have servants' quarters attached.
32:18
Speaker 1: It is just absolutely common. It's the air they breathe.
32:20
Speaker 1: It's the way things are. Well, he's there for a
32:23
Speaker 1: little while and, you know, we're Skyping, we're keeping up
32:26
Speaker 1: with one another. And I have had two opportunities now
32:29
Speaker 1: to go and visit with them there in the Middle
32:32
Speaker 1: East and to preach there. And it's been incredible. But
32:35
Speaker 1: here's what began to happen. I began to get these
32:38
Speaker 1: messages from him. We began to talk on Skype about
32:42
Speaker 1: the incredible things that were going on with their maid,
32:46
Speaker 1: their servant. This woman from another country who is in
32:50
Speaker 1: that Middle Eastern country, basically to serve as a servant,
32:54
Speaker 1: as a housemaid. The airline that hired him pays him
32:59
Speaker 1: a salary, also pays for them to have a housemaid.
33:02
Speaker 1: And some incredible things begin to happen. Like they began
33:06
Speaker 1: to invite their maid and her husband into their household
33:11
Speaker 1: with them for family worship every day. And as a
33:17
Speaker 1: result of it, this Sri Lankan maid and her husband
33:22
Speaker 1: were converted. Not only was this Sri Lankan maid and
33:27
Speaker 1: her husband converted, but other Sri Lankan maids began to
33:33
Speaker 1: hear about the relationship that this woman had with her master,
33:38
Speaker 1: as they call them, and would just sort of show
33:42
Speaker 1: up around the house from time to time. And when
33:45
Speaker 1: they showed up around the house, they would be invited
33:48
Speaker 1: to join the family in family worship. And so, long
33:54
Speaker 1: story short, my first trip to go visit them in
33:57
Speaker 1: the Middle East, first opportunity to go and preach there,
34:00
Speaker 1: I had the privilege of going out into the ocean
34:06
Speaker 1: in Dubai, in the United Arab Emirates. Here's the Burj Dubai.
34:12
Speaker 1: You know that huge hotel that looks like the sail
34:14
Speaker 1: of a boat? I'm standing in the shadow of a
34:17
Speaker 1: Burj Dubai. There's Muslims' airwear. Not everywhere, airwear. That's beyond everywhere,
34:25
Speaker 1: all right? They're at the beach with the hijab on
34:30
Speaker 1: the whole nine yards, and I walk out into the
34:33
Speaker 1: ocean baptizing Sri Lankan maids and butlers. Can I just
34:43
Speaker 1: tell you the truth real quick? I was scared. It's
34:51
Speaker 1: like people are going to drown me. What an incredible
34:55
Speaker 1: testimony as people came over to ask, what's going on?
35:03
Speaker 1: The household codes. A man shepherding his wife, his children,
35:12
Speaker 1: and his servants. And God blessing the work. Male leadership
35:21
Speaker 1: in the home is comprehensive. You're responsible to set the
35:29
Speaker 1: trajectory for your entire household. In the time that we have,
35:39
Speaker 1: let me say this, because I want this to be clear.
35:41
Speaker 1: Male headship in the home is not something that is
35:45
Speaker 1: achieved through domination. It's something that requires submission. In fact,
35:51
Speaker 1: look with me beginning in verse 24. Verse 22, I'm sorry.
36:00
Speaker 1: Notice he doesn't say husbands make your wives submit. He
36:05
Speaker 1: says in verse 22, wives, submit to your own husbands
36:09
Speaker 1: as to the Lord. For the husband is the head
36:10
Speaker 1: of the wife, even as Christ is the head of
36:12
Speaker 1: the church. His body and is himself its savior. Now
36:15
Speaker 1: as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should
36:18
Speaker 1: submit in everything to their husbands. This is not something
36:22
Speaker 1: that's forced on a wife. This is why I say
36:25
Speaker 1: to young men, if you find a young woman that
36:27
Speaker 1: you're interested in and she is unsubmissive, run. Run. Do
36:33
Speaker 1: not pass go. Do not collect $ 200. Get out now.
36:42
Speaker 1: By the way, when I say she's unsubmissive, I don't
36:44
Speaker 1: mean she's submissive to you. Because she's not called to
36:47
Speaker 1: be submissive to you. I get that sometimes too. You know,
36:49
Speaker 1: my girlfriend, she's not really submissive to me. My response
36:53
Speaker 1: to that complaint is always good for her. Yeah, but
37:02
Speaker 1: she's supposed to be submissive, right? Yeah, to her husband.
37:08
Speaker 1: Put a ring on her finger? Have you married her yet?
37:12
Speaker 1: Then she must not submit to you. Well, wait a minute.
37:17
Speaker 1: If she's not supposed to submit to me until I'm
37:19
Speaker 1: her husband, then how will I know if she's submissive?
37:26
Speaker 1: Watch her with her father. Why? Why? Because that's the
37:33
Speaker 1: only context wherein she is now commanded to submit to
37:36
Speaker 1: male headship. Yeah, but you don't know her father's relationship
37:41
Speaker 1: with her. I don't care. Yeah, well, you know, I mean,
37:45
Speaker 1: they're just like special mitigating circumstances. Really? Because I don't care.
37:49
Speaker 1: Because a daughter's submission to her father is not based
37:52
Speaker 1: on her father's worthiness. It's based on God's command. Now,
37:56
Speaker 1: here's what I want to ask you, sir. What makes
37:58
Speaker 1: you think that this woman will find an excuse not
38:02
Speaker 1: to submit to the man who gave her birth and
38:05
Speaker 1: shelter and food, but somehow you're going to be so
38:08
Speaker 1: fine that she'll just gladly submit to you? You better
38:16
Speaker 1: wake up. If she doesn't submit to her father because
38:25
Speaker 1: her father is flawed, then she will not submit to
38:28
Speaker 1: you because you too, sir, are flawed. And if you
38:33
Speaker 1: marry an unsubmissive woman, you're in a world of hurt.
38:40
Speaker 1: What are you going to do? Are you going to
38:41
Speaker 1: arm wrestle her for leadership in your home? No. The
38:49
Speaker 1: next context, children, obey your parents and the Lord for
38:53
Speaker 1: this is right. Honor your father and mother. This is
38:57
Speaker 1: the first commandment with a promise that it may go
38:58
Speaker 1: well with you and that you may live long in
39:00
Speaker 1: the land. Children are called and commanded to submit to
39:05
Speaker 1: their parents. They're commanded to. It is God who calls this.
39:15
Speaker 1: When it comes to slaves and their masters, go down
39:17
Speaker 1: to verse 5. Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear
39:22
Speaker 1: and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ.
39:27
Speaker 1: So in each of these contexts, God describes. not say, sir,
39:31
Speaker 1: you are the head of your household. You must rule
39:33
Speaker 1: with an iron fist and force everyone in your home
39:37
Speaker 1: to bow the knee to you. Absolutely not. The idea
39:42
Speaker 1: is that they submit to you out of reverence for God.
39:46
Speaker 1: So if someone is not submitting to you within the
39:49
Speaker 1: context of your household, first thing we need to know,
39:51
Speaker 1: This is universal, your headship in your household. Secondly, it
39:55
Speaker 1: requires submission from those under your leadership. But how do
39:58
Speaker 1: they achieve that? By you shepherding them. That's how. By
40:08
Speaker 1: you shepherding them. What do you do with your wife?
40:12
Speaker 1: Go back to 525. 525. Husbands, love your wives as
40:16
Speaker 1: Christ loved the church, gave himself up for her, that
40:19
Speaker 1: he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing
40:22
Speaker 1: of water with the word, so that he might present
40:25
Speaker 1: the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle
40:28
Speaker 1: or any such thing, that she might be holy and
40:30
Speaker 1: without blemish. In the same way, husbands ought to love
40:34
Speaker 1: their wives as their own bodies. When men come to
40:38
Speaker 1: me and say, oh, my wife has a submission problem. Okay, fine.
40:41
Speaker 1: She has a submission problem and she has to deal
40:43
Speaker 1: with that before God. But let me ask you a question.
40:46
Speaker 1: Are you discipling her? Is she being washed with the
40:56
Speaker 1: water of the word? Are you bringing the truths of
41:00
Speaker 1: God's word to bear in her life so that she
41:04
Speaker 1: is being built up and sanctified in him? Are you
41:09
Speaker 1: living with her as Peter says in 1 Peter 3
41:11
Speaker 1: chapter 3 verse 7? In an understanding manner as with
41:16
Speaker 1: a weaker vessel. Are you praying for her? Are you
41:22
Speaker 1: falling on your face before a holy God, begging him
41:26
Speaker 1: to sanctify your wife? Or are you merely pointing your
41:30
Speaker 1: finger at her saying, you are not submitting? With your children,
41:42
Speaker 1: how do you get them there? Fathers, do not provoke
41:45
Speaker 1: your children to anger, but bring them up in the
41:47
Speaker 1: discipline and instruction of the Lord. Are you discipling your children?
41:52
Speaker 1: Is your discipline designed to bring them to the cross
41:56
Speaker 1: or merely to outward obedience? With your servants, look at
42:05
Speaker 1: verse 9. Masters, do the same to them. Stop your threatening.
42:12
Speaker 1: Stop your threatening. knowing that he who is both their
42:15
Speaker 1: master and yours is in heaven and that there is
42:19
Speaker 1: no partiality with him? Are you conducting yourself as a
42:24
Speaker 1: follower of Jesus Christ and bringing God's word to bear
42:29
Speaker 1: in all the relationships within the context and confines of
42:33
Speaker 1: your home that the result might be that your discipleship
42:37
Speaker 1: would bear fruit in the lives of everyone over whom
42:41
Speaker 1: God has given you charge? How different is this from
42:48
Speaker 1: me man, you woman, me speak, you do? This is
42:57
Speaker 1: the picture of biblical leadership in the context and confines
43:02
Speaker 1: of the home. This is what it means for a
43:10
Speaker 1: man to lead in his household. There's a final piece here.
43:17
Speaker 1: And the final piece here goes back to what we
43:19
Speaker 1: spoke about on last night. Remember, this is all about what? Christ,
43:27
Speaker 1: his body, and its unity. The glory of Christ manifested
43:36
Speaker 1: in his body, the church. And in its unity. That's
43:40
Speaker 1: what we see in the indicative half of the book
43:42
Speaker 1: of Ephesians, those first three chapters. Now we get to
43:45
Speaker 1: the imperative half of the book of Ephesians, these last
43:48
Speaker 1: three chapters. And remember, these imperatives, we have the ability
43:52
Speaker 1: to accomplish them. these imperatives because of what Christ has
43:54
Speaker 1: done in us we've seen that in the first three
43:57
Speaker 1: chapters and we are motivated to accomplish these imperatives why
44:01
Speaker 1: because of our desire as followers of Christ to see
44:05
Speaker 1: his glory manifested and magnified in those places where he
44:09
Speaker 1: has given us dominion so what's your desire what's my
44:20
Speaker 1: desire when it comes to my wife And my headship
44:24
Speaker 1: being exercised there. Here it is. My relationship with my
44:29
Speaker 1: wife is a living, breathing illustration of the relationship between
44:34
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ and his church. I desire to exercise biblical
44:40
Speaker 1: Christ-honoring headship in my marriage because it is a picture
44:44
Speaker 1: of Christ. And for me not to exercise that kind
44:48
Speaker 1: of headship in my marriage is a blasphemous act against
44:52
Speaker 1: my Lord and Savior and Master Jesus Christ. My desire
44:57
Speaker 1: for my wife to submit to me is not just
45:00
Speaker 1: so that I can feel powerful, but my desire is
45:04
Speaker 1: centered around the fact that she is called to submit
45:07
Speaker 1: to me as to Christ, that her submission to me
45:10
Speaker 1: is actually an act of worship toward Christ. So a
45:14
Speaker 1: wife who is not submissive to her husband has a
45:16
Speaker 1: worship disorder first and foremost. My headship with my wife
45:26
Speaker 1: centers around my desire for her to be sanctified and
45:30
Speaker 1: built up as a member of Christ's body. But not
45:33
Speaker 1: only is she a member of Christ's body, she's a
45:36
Speaker 1: member of my body in this mysterious one flesh union.
45:40
Speaker 1: I don't know who first said it to me, but
45:45
Speaker 1: I keep it in my mind. She's not just mine,
45:50
Speaker 1: she's me. She's not just mine, She's me. She is
46:00
Speaker 1: bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. So
46:04
Speaker 1: my desire is to see her built up because she's
46:07
Speaker 1: a member of the body of Christ and I desire
46:09
Speaker 1: his body to be built up and for him to
46:12
Speaker 1: fill all things. My desire for our unity has to
46:15
Speaker 1: do with the fact that she's a member of my
46:17
Speaker 1: body as well. We are one flesh. She's not just mine,
46:22
Speaker 1: she's me. Also, This picture that we paint of the
46:26
Speaker 1: relationship between Christ and his church has an impact first
46:30
Speaker 1: and foremost on our children who see this on a
46:34
Speaker 1: daily basis, but secondly on our servants who also see
46:39
Speaker 1: this on a daily basis. So there is this picture.
46:45
Speaker 1: of the truth of the gospel that we proclaim that
46:47
Speaker 1: is being lived out in the context of this marriage relationship.
46:51
Speaker 1: It does not replace the gospel. It is not the gospel,
46:54
Speaker 1: but it reinforces the message of the gospel. That changes
47:00
Speaker 1: my focus. That changes my everything. When a man comes
47:11
Speaker 1: to me, and says, I'm finished. I can't do it anymore.
47:18
Speaker 1: I'm leaving. Where are you going, sir? You can't do that. Yes,
47:27
Speaker 1: I can. No, you can't. You're her head. Head can't
47:31
Speaker 1: leave the body. You don't want her running around headless.
47:36
Speaker 1: I just... I don't understand all that. I'm just leaving. No,
47:42
Speaker 1: you can't leave. Where are you going? Go love your wife.
47:47
Speaker 1: You're commanded to love your wife. Husbands, love your wives
47:51
Speaker 1: as Christ loved the church. My desire for my children
48:02
Speaker 1: is what? That my children would come to know Christ. Fathers,
48:10
Speaker 1: do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them
48:12
Speaker 1: up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. What
48:14
Speaker 1: is my desire with my children? That they would make
48:16
Speaker 1: me proud and become doctors and lawyers and quarterbacks and whatever.
48:23
Speaker 1: My desire for my children is that they walk with God.
48:27
Speaker 1: My desire, first and foremost, is that they would be saved.
48:31
Speaker 1: My desire is that they would know Christ. And that
48:34
Speaker 1: desire must lead all other desires. Everything else must take
48:40
Speaker 1: a backseat to that. Why? First half of the book, Christ,
48:43
Speaker 1: his body, and the unity thereof. I want my children
48:47
Speaker 1: to be part of the body of Christ. I want
48:49
Speaker 1: my children to be redeemed. I want Christ to be
48:52
Speaker 1: glorified as my children come to faith in him. I
48:56
Speaker 1: want the father to be glorified as the son gives
49:00
Speaker 1: my children to him as a gift that is then
49:02
Speaker 1: reciprocated because the father first entrusted them to him. And
49:06
Speaker 1: I know that this happens through the proclamation of the gospel.
49:09
Speaker 1: So I preach the gospel to my children again and
49:13
Speaker 1: again and again. And my desire for their obedience to
49:16
Speaker 1: my headship has to do with them knowing Christ, not
49:19
Speaker 1: with impressing you. I want their hearts. I want them saved.
49:33
Speaker 1: God made there also made an argument that I've just
49:36
Speaker 1: never been able to get away from. And he says,
49:40
Speaker 1: as you look at your children, remember that that sin
49:45
Speaker 1: nature from which they need to be delivered was inherited
49:49
Speaker 1: from Adam through you. You gave it to them. Rid
49:55
Speaker 1: them of it if you can. They suffer under the
50:00
Speaker 1: curse directly through you. Do everything that you can to
50:06
Speaker 1: deliver them from that curse. Oh, how many parents have
50:10
Speaker 1: fallen on their face before God, praying that their child
50:14
Speaker 1: would get into the right school, but have not spent
50:16
Speaker 1: one hour begging God that their child might get into heaven.
50:26
Speaker 1: I want my children saved first and foremost. First. And
50:32
Speaker 1: so my headship and my leadership in my home as
50:35
Speaker 1: it relates to my children must center around this desire
50:39
Speaker 1: above and before all else. That they might know Christ
50:46
Speaker 1: in the pardon of their sins. This is real headship.
50:56
Speaker 1: Why is this important? Why is it important that we
50:59
Speaker 1: know the opposition that is out there? Why is it
51:02
Speaker 1: important that we fight for this ground? Here's why it's
51:05
Speaker 1: important that we fight for this ground. First and foremost,
51:10
Speaker 1: it's important that we fight for this ground because people
51:12
Speaker 1: are not just arguing against us, they're arguing against God.
51:17
Speaker 1: I don't write the mail, I just deliver it. And
51:22
Speaker 1: it is important that we refute those who contradict sound doctrine,
51:27
Speaker 1: Titus 1.9. That is my job to refute those who
51:31
Speaker 1: contradict sound doctrine. Here's the second reason that this is important.
51:35
Speaker 1: If the picture of male headship in the home is
51:40
Speaker 1: an illustration of the relationship between Christ and his church,
51:44
Speaker 1: then anything that would mar that image is actually working
51:50
Speaker 1: to profane the truth about Christ. We can't have that.
52:00
Speaker 1: Here's the other problem. God has designed marriage to function
52:07
Speaker 1: in a way that brings glory to his name and
52:10
Speaker 1: that fulfills his design. And that design centers around male headship.
52:17
Speaker 1: If we undermine this fundamental truth, we begin to undo all.
52:24
Speaker 1: And so what do we see? We see marriages that
52:29
Speaker 1: are shipwrecked. Because of a failure to understand this issue.
52:34
Speaker 1: We see wives that wrestle with and run away from
52:37
Speaker 1: submission to their husbands, listening to and sounding more like
52:41
Speaker 1: the feminists. We see men who have no idea whatsoever
52:47
Speaker 1: what real headship is, which results in either passivity in
52:52
Speaker 1: men where they completely fade to the background or hyper-masculinity
52:57
Speaker 1: in men where they turn into Rambo. neither of which
53:05
Speaker 1: is acceptable. The idea is for biblical male headship. A
53:15
Speaker 1: man who understands his role, doesn't back down from his role,
53:19
Speaker 1: doesn't apologize for his role, and is terrified because he
53:26
Speaker 1: understands the magnitude of his responsibility. That's the picture. Now
53:36
Speaker 1: you go and do likewise. Let's pray. Father, thank you
53:46
Speaker 1: that you have not left us to wander aimlessly in
53:49
Speaker 1: the dark. But has spoken clearly to the most pertinent
53:58
Speaker 1: issues in our lives and to our deepest needs. Grant
54:06
Speaker 1: that we might hear and heed your truth. For Christ's sake,
54:16
Speaker 1: for his glory, for his honor. Amen.