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Kelly Muñoz's EA Cheat Code: Bring Solutions, Not Just Problems · CCing my EA Podcast

• 0:00
  Welcome to the CCMIA podcast, where we interview executive assistants about real tactics and stories they've learned from supporting busy executives.
• 0:07
  This episode is presented by Vimcal EA, the first calendar built specifically for executive assistants.
• 0:13
  And today I'm here with Kelly, who has been an EA for over a decade now, uh, and is also the founder of EAs to the Rescue community. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for having me.
• 0:23
  Before we get into this, uh, for the folks who don't know you, do you wanna share a bit about, uh, what your work looks like between your EA work and EAs to the Rescue? Yeah. So been an EA for a long time.
• 0:35
  I mean, we could say 15, 20 years, whatever. At this point, it doesn't really matter. EAs to the Rescue networking group, created it because there was like, I had a group of EAs that were kind of like
• 0:46
  texting me questions, and I'm like, [sighs] "I love helping, but I don't like to be the point person for everything." And it's like, well, you teach a man to fish or...
• 0:53
  [laughs] So I'm like, "I'm not fishing for anyone, so here's a group. Talk to each other." And it kinda just evolved that way. And then we have the networking group, and the networking group is just like members.
• 1:05
  It's, I think we're at 890-something members globally, and it's by Slack. And there's a lot of chatter, live conversations, questions, people just, like, asking like, "Hey, how do I go about this?
• 1:18
  Does anybody have experience with this? Does anybody have a restaurant rec- " And it's, people chime in. I don't like to ask for volunteers, but if somebody offers like, "Hey, how can I help?"
• 1:28
  It's really on them, and I give them the opportunity to become an ambassador. Like, if you really feel like this group is benefiting you, then as a community member, lift it up, right? Mm-hmm.
• 1:38
  'Cause I can't be the one lifting up 800-and something people.
• 1:41
  It has to be an effort, and that's where I try to tell them, there, there's a definition for the word community [laughs] that means everyone is involved, not just a few people.
• 1:50
  So it's, it's been helpful, and that's where EAs to the Rescue is at right now, where it's, it's, it's doing really great, actually. I'm really proud of it. I would love to show you, I'm gonna share my screen.
• 2:01
  Can you tell me the story behind this? Jonah did that. [laughs] Yep. [laughs] Forgot if he w- he was the one that showed it to me or someone tagged me or he posted it, someone tagged me. I don't remember. Mm-hmm.
• 2:17
  But I remember seeing that and I was like cry laughing. I'm just like, [laughs] "What is this?" Funny story though, my son loves Spirit Halloween. Mm-hmm. Kid,
• 2:29
  you know how like there's seasonal stores, they're not, like, embedded and they're there all the time? Yep. Yeah.
• 2:33
  He knows where every single Spirit Halloween is in our area, and knows their opening and close dates, 'cause he likes to go. He loves Halloween. That's his, that's his jam.
• 2:40
  What's, uh, what's been his, uh, top, top costume so far? My son's? Yeah. I used to make his costumes. What? Yeah. M- 'cause my mom used to make my costumes by hand. She was a seamstress. Hmm. That's cool, though.
• 2:55
  That's interesting, though, that you make his costumes, 'cause, um, I guess you go to Spirit to buy the accessories or something? Yeah, we'll get the accessories at Spirit.
• 3:03
  He just likes to go there also, 'cause he thinks seeing all the costumes are- Hmm... are great. I could, I could understand that. I always make them when they don't have something he wants to be. Mm-hmm.
• 3:12
  So if he wants to be something and then it, and it's not there, and I'm like, "All right.
• 3:16
  Let's look at a couple pictures," and I, I study it, and then I'm like, "Okay, this is gonna be hard, but I'll, I'll do it," and I'll just make the costume.
• 3:22
  But I feel like that was the same thing with me when I was growing up, like, I was so thin and tiny. I graduated high school a whole 98 pounds, probably soaking wet, and nothing fit me.
• 3:31
  And I'm like, "Mom, can you fix these for me?" And my mother was more the person who was just like, "No, but I'll show you how to do it." So, oh yeah, my mother was- And that carries-...
• 3:39
  we're not for that hand-holding here in this house. She's just like, "We're gonna show you how to do it, and then you're gonna go off and do it on your own."
• 3:45
  [laughs] One of the most important parts of this podcast is really getting a sense of people's cheat codes that they've learned- Hmm... through their career.
• 3:53
  Just, like, some kinda trick or very specific tactic that you use to help, you know, get things done. So is there, like, a EA cheat code that comes to mind? Like a shortcut to building trust quickly with your execs?
• 4:07
  Showing up, being credible, and staying ahead. So mean, you gotta be consistent with those things.
• 4:12
  Even with, like, new executives in the past when I was not a fractional assistant, I showed up with confidence, I showed up knowing what I knew ahead of time, identifying the risks ahead of time for them, and told them, "This is what I planned already.
• 4:26
  If you don't like that option, here are other op- two other options. Let me know if these resonate with you. If not, I can pivot." Just letting them know, like, I'm coming with solutions.
• 4:35
  This is what I know, this is what I don't know, this is what I need your eyes on. I feel like that allows them... And if you consistently do that, that allows them to know, like, I can actually trust this person.
• 4:44
  They're kn- they know what my needs are. And you can do that in small increments, and it builds over time.
• 4:51
  The thing I'm hearing is one way you build trust quickly with your execs is you're a little more proactive about, uh, tackling solutions.
• 5:02
  Like, you, you basically offer multiple ideas w- to solve problems, uh, as opposed to just kinda, like, waiting and asking. Or just bringing the problem with no solution. That's, like, the worst. Mm-hmm. Think about it.
• 5:14
  When someone, like, let's say you're in a position and you're, like, not in a position at work, like you're in a position in life, let's just say, and you're overwhelmed. And someone goes, "How, what can I do to help?"
• 5:24
  Your usual answer is, "Oh, it's okay. Thank you," and that's it. Uh-huh. Why? Because now the onus is on you to tell them what you need. That's not being proactive, and that's not really helpful. Mm-hmm.
• 5:34
  What's helpful is when somebody actually comes with actions, and they're ready to execute or already did something for you.
• 5:40
  And I feel like when you, when someone does that, you feel taken care of, and you feel safe, and you feel trusted, and then you're able to, like, accept it.
• 5:46
  So you might say your cheat code is actually when you identify problems, not to just bring up the problem, but to also- Come with solutions... come with a solution. Yeah, exactly.
• 5:56
  Be ready to execute, otherwise it's just like you're just giving them more problems. I don't want more problems, I want less problems. [laughs] Yes.
• 6:02
  And if you don't have a suggestion, you know, I would say even go as far as, you know, chime in with your community. Like, reach out to them and see, like, "Hey, do any of these ideas make sense to everybody?"
• 6:11
  Somebody might just say... that might not work. Why don't you try this?" And then now you've got a different solution, and you're like, "Wow, I didn't even think of that perspective."
• 6:19
  'Cause perspective matters, and you never know, like, even if you have three really good ideas and you're like, "Yeah, these are, these are amazing," ask your community.
• 6:26
  Your community's gonna probably be like, "That one sucks. Try this one." [laughs] You might just have a better idea.
• 6:32
  I'd love to hear about maybe a moment or the moment where you realized, you know, it's really important to set boundaries to prevent burnout. What does that even look like?
• 6:41
  Yeah, I have talked a lot about burnout recently. The first time I actually recognized it, sadly enough, was only a couple years ago, like maybe a year and a half, two years ago, that I recognized I was in burnout.
• 6:51
  The funny thing is, like, I've definitely have had burnout beforehand, and I just never identified it, and I look back now and I'm like, "Damn, that was not okay what you did to yourself." I wasn't kind to myself.
• 7:03
  I would push through the entire process, and physically it does create a lot of ailments, and it do- it's not good. But the one, the most recent one that I actually did identify, I was working, like, 80 hours a week.
• 7:16
  And not just, like, 80 hours in an office, no. I was working, like, 80 hours online, in an office, while commuting. Like, it was nonstop and it was exhausting. And I also have my son, and he is- I see... special needs.
• 7:31
  My son is, he's autistic, he's neurodivergent, and I have been kind of, like, managing his life and everything and all the services he needs since he was a little baby.
• 7:41
  And it got to the point where I was getting up, like, at 3:30, 4:00 in the morning just to be in the gym, just so that I can get to the gym, get out, come home, get him ready, get, get him in school, get on the train, get into the city, go to work, working on the train, working as I'm walking.
• 7:56
  Like, I, I didn't eat my lunch. I would work through it or skip it, just constantly shifting priorities every three seconds, leaving work, walking and working, on the train and working.
• 8:06
  Like, it, it was just like ta- on a call working, driving. I'm like, "When does this stop?" Mm-hmm. And it just didn't, and it would go into, like, 11:00, 12:00 at night sometimes. And it's not healthy, obviously.
• 8:18
  And, um, I just started feeling exhausted. I, I, it's hard to describe the, like, the exhaustion. It's, it's not, "Oh, I'm tired." It's, tired is tired. Exhausted is something else.
• 8:29
  Exhausted is when, like, your body's actually having, is sending signals out that something is wrong. Like, your emotional state is all over the place. Like, I, I joke, but at that time it wasn't funny.
• 8:41
  Like, if a butterfly went past, I was ooh. I would start crying. Like, first of all, I don't cry. What?
• 8:46
  It was the stupidest things, or something would trigger me and get me upset, and it wasn't, it was an irrational way to be upset. And I would just, like, have a visceral reaction to things that didn't require it.
• 8:57
  And the kind of, like, disinterest of doing things. Mm-hmm. I don't wanna go to the gym anymore. I don't wanna talk to people. I don't wanna socialize. I don't wanna do this. And I just didn't wanna do anything.
• 9:07
  I just wanted to be left alone. And my best friend was the one that actually mentioned it to me. I was telling her all this stuff that was, was going on, just venting, like, "Oh," blah, blah, blah.
• 9:16
  And she says, "You do realize you're burned out?" She's like, "These are literally the symptoms of burnout." Hmm. And I'm like, "No, they're not." And I'm just like, "What?"
• 9:23
  So went to the doctor, and they were like, [laughs] "Ma'am, you're burned out." [laughs] So- Mm-hmm... I was like, "Oh, okay. Oops." The recovery of that is intense. It's, I'm- Mm...
• 9:31
  I think I'm still on the tail end of it, because I still have moments where I'm just like, "I don't wanna do anything," but I pull myself out of it, 'cause because I've created boundaries, and the boundaries are I don't have to respond when I don- when I, when people want me to.
• 9:44
  I don't have to say yes to everything. And sometimes no response is a response. And I don't have to explain myself. And it took me a long time to get there and creating boundaries, even with my son's things.
• 9:54
  Like, he's got a lot of service care providers- Mm-hmm... and they'll randomly call me throughout the day, and I'm, like, on calls. I'm in meetings. I'm working. I'm, I'm trying to focus.
• 10:03
  I can't, 'cause I'm getting calls, and it's not, like, one call. We're talking about four, five, six calls and people not leaving messages, calling back. They don't email. And I'm like, "You're at work, right?"
• 10:14
  They're at work. Are you getting personal phone calls throughout the day? No. So what makes you think that I'm getting personal phone calls throughout the day?
• 10:20
  So I had to, like, reverse it on them and explain to them, like, "What you're doing is actually, you're crossing a boundary that I do not appreciate.
• 10:26
  If you need time with me, you can email me and ask me when I'm available, but I'm not taking your calls anymore. And if it's really urgent, leave me a voicemail. Stop hanging up and not leave a voicemail."
• 10:36
  So it was one of those moments where I was just like, "Enough. Enough is enough. I'm not going to be available all the time for everybody." It's just like, I can't be accessible 24/7.
• 10:47
  It sounds like the cause of burnout was just, I mean, you're just doing too much. Doing too much. And you're always on, you're basically always on call and always working- Yeah... in the morning. You need a break.
• 10:57
  You need that break. Like, I know, like, last weekend I went camping- Mm-hmm... and I go camping in an area that's, like, there's no internet. There's nothing. There's no reception.
• 11:05
  And I'm like, "This is the best thing ever," because now I'm forced to stop, and I love it. So the recovery for burnout is at literally just, like- Me time, however that looks. However that looks, right?
• 11:20
  So, like, whatever that looks like for anybody, I would definitely say focus on the me time. And it's not selfish. It really isn't.
• 11:27
  Looking back on your career so far as an EA, what is the most unusual or proudest thing that you've done for your exec? This was, um, a crazy story. [laughs] I'm like, shoot, what's gonna reveal who? Um,
• 11:45
  I will say I think this was my day, first day or second day on the job at a role, and I, kid you not, I was told to meet them outside by the office building, like two blocks, two and a half blocks away, to take their car to a parking garage near their doctor's office so that they can get out and go to the meeting in the building that we were in.
• 12:08
  So I'm like, "All right. You want me to drive your car- Mm-hmm... to a parking lot?" And I'm thinking, "Okay." I've never been asked to drive anyone's car, okay? I get to his car. This man had a Tesla.
• 12:19
  I've never actually driven a Tesla [laughs] before. Uh-huh. So I get in, and I go to close the door, and I'm like, "What the fuck do I do?" [laughs] And I'm like, "There's no buttons."
• 12:31
  [laughs] And the light turns green, and there's a police officer at the light, like a traffic officer, and they're like, "Let's go." I'm like, "I don't know what to do."
• 12:40
  [laughs] And I'm just like, just touching everything. [laughs] The car I think stalled at one moment, and then I, I eventually got it to move, and I was like, "Okay, we're good."
• 12:50
  I got it in a parking lot unscathed, and then missed an entire meeting because of putting the car next to a parking lot where their doctor's office was at, which was like a 15-minute drive away from the office, and then made my way back to the office.
• 13:06
  Like, that was for me, that was like the most bizarre thing to ask someone to do for you that you've never met.
• 13:12
  Like, we- like not that we'd never met, like we knew each other for two days, that you're just gonna trust me with your car like that? I mean, that, cool, but also that's like...
• 13:19
  And you're gonna have me change drivers in the middle of traffic? I thought that was just like insane. So- Wait, what do you mean change drivers in the middle of traffic? Like, he was the driver, he's at a light.
• 13:29
  He gets out and walks away, and I get in. What? Wait, what? That was not clear at all. [laughs] All right. We're at a- he's at a traffic light, I'm on the phone walking over. "Okay. Okay."
• 13:44
  I get there, he's like, "Oh, I see you." He gets out, and I'm like, "Okay." And I'm walking over, and he just walks away. Yeah, I didn't realize- I was just like, hmm... he just swapped, like, at a light.
• 13:53
  Swapped at a light. He didn't even pull over at a light. So he was just like- Take two... "Hey, I'm driving by right now. Come out immediately- Yeah... to take over the car."
• 14:04
  Yeah, and I was in the middle of something, and I had to stop what I was doing, rush down, I don't even remember what floor we were on, like rush down, run over. And I'm like, "Ah," [laughs] trying to get there on time.
• 14:14
  And I don't know, I just felt like he also was like expected, like, the doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, and I just showed up or something. [laughs] And I'm like, "Dude, I'm not magic." It was interesting, to say the least.
• 14:24
  I was just like, I, I was very entertained by the whole thing- Mm-hmm... 'cause I thought this is so outrageous to ask somebody to do this on day two. You barely know me. Like, cool.
• 14:33
  Thank you for trusting me, but also we're at a traffic light, and you didn't even ask me if I know how to drive a Tesla. You just assumed. Like, what, what if it wasn't even a Tesla?
• 14:42
  What if it was, like, a stick shift and someone doesn't know how to drive a stick shift, right? It's like the lack of communication there was just so insane, and just, "Here, take my car."
• 14:51
  I'm not even, like, insured and your [laughs] insured. [laughs] What if I got in a accident? Then I would've been like, what if I got in trouble because of it, you know? Mm-hmm.
• 14:59
  I didn't know where his registration was or anything. So you can imagine, it was like, there's so much tied to that that's, like, not okay, but I'm like, whatever. It is what it is. I survived. We're good. [laughs] Okay.
• 15:09
  Despite all the chaos that comes with the job, what would you say is the most fulfilling part of being an EA? Hearing the thank yous. Mm.
• 15:16
  Hearing the thank yous, and, like, there's one client that I have, and they're so near and dear to me. Actually, both... I have two clients, and they're both, they're near and dear to me.
• 15:25
  I really do- I do care for them a lot, and I, I really, like, you know, for me, I'm like, I protect them. The thank yous that I get from them, and, like, the genuine, like, "Thank you so much. I appreciate you.
• 15:37
  You don't know how much this means to me." You know, those, those things go a long way, 'cause w- when an EA actually cares and puts, pours theirselves into their work, it's because they really care, right?
• 15:49
  And it's, like, kinda like if you're in a relationship and you're pouring your, all your all into the relationship, and that your partner doesn't really give a shit, and they're just like, "Eh." Mm-hmm.
• 15:59
  You start to feel empty. Your cup is empty, and you don't, you don't feel appreciated, so you part ways.
• 16:03
  It's the same thing, and I think a lot of executives really, really need to take accountability and see that their relationship with their EA is an actual relationship.
• 16:11
  Aside from a working relationship, it's a relationship they need to work on, and it's so important to give and take and communicate their appreciation for their EAs, otherwise they're just taking, taking, taking, taking, taking, and the EA's not receiving anything in return.
• 16:26
  And it goes as far as a little thank you. A little thank you, I kid you not, most EAs would be like, "Oh, that's it. I'm good. You said thank you. We're good for another 10 years."
• 16:35
  It takes so little to acknowledge them and say thank you. It's such a little- Mm-hmm... task, but it goes a long way. So, like, if any executives are hearing this, stop, say thank you.
• 16:47
  Well, uh, that's it for this episode of the CC My EA Podcast. Thank you, Kelly, for coming on- You're welcome... sharing your tactics and your stories.
• 16:55
  If you liked this episode, subscribe to CC My EA for more practical EA stories and tech tips.
• 17:01
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