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Is your relationship toxic? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going? On Beautiful People today, we're
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  going to be asking the question or answering the question Is
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  your relationship toxic? How to tell if you're in a toxic
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  relationship with a narcissistic person if you're new here, My
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  name is Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and welcome to another episode of The
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  Narcissist Code. Welcome back, Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
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  So this is a question I get a lot of times.
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  Y'all. How do I know I'm with a
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  narcissist? How do I know I'm if I'm in a
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  toxic relationship? So we're going to leave the word
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  narcissist at home today. We're going because you know, we
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  we don't need it. You don't need to be.
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  With a narcissist. To be.
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  In a toxic relationship. Let me say that again, for the
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  people in the back, you do not have to be.
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  With a narcissist. In order to be.
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  In a toxic relationship, people. You know, say people that are
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  not narcissistic. Can also have you hemmed up
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  within a toxic relationship dynamic.
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  It happens all the time. There's one of those things that
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  happens quite a bit when you're dealing with narcissist when
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  you. You know.
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  Just overall when you're living your life.
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  So how do I like Lee? So OK Lee, how do I tell if I'm
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  in a types of relationship? The 1st?
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  Telltale sign of if you are in a types of relationship is not or
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  not. Is How do you feel?
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  Yeah, this is when you have to start.
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  Listening to yourself kind of talking to.
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  Yourself Giving yourself, you know, give yourself feedback and
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  listening to that feedback at the same time.
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  Not just giving yourself feedback, but also listening to.
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  Listening to your own internal feedback, Listening to.
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  How you actually? Feel about certain.
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  Situations how you feel about. This relationship.
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  In general, how you feel about this?
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  Person in general. How are you feeling?
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  How do you really feel? About this relationship are you
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  do? You are you.
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  Do you wake up with 100% confidence that you are in A?
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  Happy, healthy relationship. Or is every day like you, You
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  don't know what you're going to get.
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  Like every day you wake up, you get into this, you.
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  You deal with this person. You don't know what you're going
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  to get. You don't know who you're going
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  to be dealing with. You don't know the.
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  Exact You don't. Know the.
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  Exact situation you're going to be running into with this
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  person. Because this happens.
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  A lot. Right here, y'all.
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  It really, really does, you know, And that's why I tell
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  people this is going to. Happen all.
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  It's going to happen so much when you're.
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  With in. When you're.
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  In a toxic, toxic relationship dynamic, you're.
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  Going to be questioning who you are dealing with, You're going
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  to always be questioning how you feel you're going to be over.
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  Analyzing how you feel. Am I making the right decision?
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  Am I really in the wrong here? Am I?
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  Is this really what's going on? You can be gaslit.
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  The high, the highest of heavens, the the lowest of
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  Hells. You know you always going to
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  feel weird being in this relationship space.
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  This is one of those things that's going to continue to
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  consistently happen. You're going to feel a certain
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  type of. Way you're going to be asking
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  yourself certain questions. All the time.
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  About this relationship, you're going to be questioning the
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  status of your relationship. You'll be questioning is your
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  partner happy? Are you really happy?
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  Like listen to yourself. Like I said, let's let's want to
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  say you have to do that internal dot.
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  You have to do that internal check.
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  It's like you, matter of fact, it's like you are a car and your
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  internal check engine light is. On.
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  You have to check the systems of this relationship.
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  Make sure the the, the, the oil is good.
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  I mean, the oil is the, you know, the oil is the love the
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  your. Heart is the.
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  Engine you know what? Like make sure that everything
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  is going to go like check in with yourself.
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  How do you feel? You know, how do you feel?
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  Another. Telltale sign that you might be
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  in a types of relationship. Is How is your partner treating
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  you? How's your part of treating you?
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  Are they treating you like they love you?
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  Do you feel loved? Are they treating you like they
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  love you? I mean everything.
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  Yeah. No.
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  Relationship is perfect. We all understand that, right?
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  Every relationship is going to have arguments, is going to have
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  disagreements and whatnot. You know, but are you?
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  How are they really treating you?
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  And be honest, be honest, and sometimes the.
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  Best way you. You can be honest with yourself
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  in this situation is to kind of take a look outside your
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  relationship. And compare your.
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  Relationship. To a relationship that you
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  consider healthy. If somebody was treating you the
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  way your partner is treating you, do you think that they do
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  you? If somebody was treating you the
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  same way that your partner is currently treating you, would
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  you think that you know? Wait.
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  Wait, wait. If you were treating somebody
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  else the same way your party is treating you treating you, would
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  you feel? Like you loved and cared about
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  that person. Sorry, I got it mixed.
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  Up. If you were treating someone
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  else the same way that you're being treated, would you think
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  that you were in a? Happy, healthy relationship, you
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  know. How are they treating you?
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  Get real and wrong. Get honest with.
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  Yourself. Be honest.
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  Be open and honest with yourself.
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  Give. Keep it moving forward in these
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  situations. You have to.
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  Because if you don't, that's what happens.
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  You know you have. To be open and honest with
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  yourself, be real. And wrong.
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  Write this down. I'm not telling you that.
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  I'm not telling you that. You telling you that you?
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  Have to share this with somebody.
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  Else but write this type of stuff down right right now, how
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  you feel, really feel about this relationship.
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  And write down how your partner is treating you.
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  I know. But yo, I'm going to tell you a
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  real. A red flag that some people
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  don't talk about right here. It's going to sound.
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  It's going to sound bad. It's going to sound really
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  unique. It's going to sound.
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  It's going to sound weird. As a matter of fact, let me go
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  and say. It's A to me.
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  It's a red flag. To so some people it's not
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  going. To be a red flag.
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  But this is going to be a telltale.
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  Sign that you might be in a toxic relationship to.
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  You never. Ever argue?
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  Made you think, didn't it? You never argue, but you don't
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  feel right. You don't feel happy out of
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  time. You never argue.
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  You never disagree, you know? Lee, how totally OK.
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  Lee you. Lost me there.
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  How in the hell is that a? Red Flag Lee, you gotta explain
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  yourself. You can't.
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  Just say that and not yet not explain yourself.
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  You gotta explain yourself. The best way?
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  That I can explain it. Is that like?
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  The reason? Every.
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  Every couple. Is going to have an argument or
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  disagreement about something, y'all.
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  That's just the way it goes. So if you're not.
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  Arguing. Is it because if someone in the
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  is someone in the relationship not really speaking their
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  speaking their mind? Is someone letting things go?
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  Is someone letting? Letting things get past them?
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  Is someone letting? Like I say, is someone not.
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  You don't want to stare the. Pot.
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  You don't want to mess up the the the streak.
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  Of not arguing, not fussing. Not fighting, but you disagree
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  with something but you like. I don't want to argue about it,
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  even if it's something bad. I want to bring it up because
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  we'll be then we'll in a bit of fight.
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  You're not arguing to me. That's a red flag of a.
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  Toxic relationship sometimes. Because you're not.
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  Arguing because I feel like somebody in their relationship
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  is being stifled. Not everybody, but somebody in
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  their in their relationship is being stifled in some way, shape
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  or form. That's the.
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  Way it goes right there. You know, that's why I just tell
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  people. That's that's part of the
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  dynamic, that's part of the space that so many people fall
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  into right there, like like truly.
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  Somebody is being stifled because you're not arguing,
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  you're not fussing, you're not fighting, you know, check in.
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  Are you in a toxic relationship? And sometimes, like yo, you can
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  ask other people like, you know, say this is not me telling you
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  to just. Spread your business everywhere
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  but. Ask other people.
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  Do you think you're like, you know what, what people think,
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  you know, say I'm not telling you have to take everybody's
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  advice, but if you feel like somebody is really trying to.
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  Literally help you out and be there for you.
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  You might want to listen to them.
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  You know, You might want to take their advice like somebody
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  telling you, like, yeah, we we we we, you know, we didn't want
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  to. Say anything because you seem
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  so. Happy if that's somebody's
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  response. To your question.
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  Like we yeah, we didn't want to bring it up because you seem so
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  happy, but y'all it just seem like you in a toxic
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  relationship. You seem like you being you
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  being emotionally abused, you know, just in this space right
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  here. Why are you in a toxic
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  relationship? You know it's your partner
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  gaslighting you because gaslighting is a sign of
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  toxicity. It doesn't always mean that it's
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  a toxic relationship, but being gaslit and always questioning
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  your reality? Could be a sign of you being an
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  emotionally. Abusive toxic relationship.
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  I know, But everybody. Some people, yeah.
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  And then the crazy thing about it is some people don't.
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  Believe in emotional abuse. They just ain't physical abuse.
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  It's the only type of abuse that that's valid.
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  You know. People just like.
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  Oh, I didn't. Get hit so my relationship isn't
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  toxic. You know.
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  My partner just yells and screams at me and throws things
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  in my direction, but I. Didn't get hit so my
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  relationship isn't toxic. You know, ask yourself.
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  This is another question. You could ask yourself about are
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  you in a toxic relationship if you have kids to this person?
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  Would you want your child dating someone?
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  That's like your partner. Would you want your child?
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  Your kid dating someone? Like your?
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  Exactly like your partner? Would you want someone treating
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  your? Child the same way that your
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  partner treats you so. The question isn't it?
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  And this? Is not me just trying to say, Oh
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  well, I have a son in my I think his dad might be a toxic person
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  or whatever this. Is, you know, treating the the
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  behaviours the gender is. Irrelevant here.
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  Would you want somebody being treated the way that you were
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  being treated? Would you want your kid being
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  treated the exact same way you've been treated?
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  You know, Are your needs being met?
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  Y'all, ask yourself these questions are your not only are
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  your physical needs being met, are your emotional needs being
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  met in this situation? What about?
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  Your emotional. Needs I know everybody just
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  worries about the physical Everybody hops onto the
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  physical. Well, I'm.
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  Physically, OK, I got my we we, you know, emotionally, where do
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  you stand? Emotionally, where do you truly
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  stand? Emotionally within this space
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  right here, because that's super important.
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  Y'all. That is extremely important,
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  yeah. And then of course you were
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  asking right here. Y'all I'm listening to my last
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  one. I know we rattled off questions.
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  Would you wish? Your relationship on someone
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  else. The relationship.
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  That you're in right now. Would you wish it on anyone
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  else? Are you just happy enough in
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  your relationship? Like I wish everybody had a
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  relationship just like mine or you questioning it?
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  Are you? Just like you know what?
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  I don't think so. You know that's an answer.
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  To so many questions right there.
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  You know what? I don't think so.
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  Oh, I wouldn't wish there's somebody.
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  On my worst enemy, because sometimes there's a truth right
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  there. Y'all.
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  So listen to yourself. Or you.
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  Like, say, is this something that you really, really want to
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  do in this space, right? Here, you know.
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  Just ask yourself these questions right here.
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  Answer these questions to yourself and be safe.
• 11:12
  Y'all. If you haven't already, make
• 11:13
  sure you subscribe to my newsletter.
• 11:15
  My first course video series is coming out here pretty soon.
• 11:18
  I'm super thankful for every single one of y'all like and
• 11:20
  subscribe for more. Nothing.
• 11:22
  This is out peace. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. You are a.
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  Mental illness? Rockstar and I appreciate you
• 11:28
  for being here. If you haven't already, make
• 11:30
  sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
• 11:32
  watch another one of my videos on my playlist.
• 11:34
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• 11:36
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• 11:40
  fault. On Amazon, so check that out.
• 11:42
  Thank you. I will see you in the next
• 11:43
  video. Peace.