Latest / INSPIRE STORY / I was stuck_ confused and unsuccessful until I did THIS_ (This will CHANGE Everything For YOU
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Who do I want to become. It's not about the goal,
- 0:03It's about the growth you're willing to undertake in order
- 0:07to achieve the goal. Success is quiet mornings, late nights,
- 0:12and one hundred almosts before one yes. Success is choosing
- 0:17discipline on the day's motivation doesn't show up. Success is
- 0:22doing the work when no one's watching and no one's clapping.
- 0:27Success is walking away from what drains you so you
- 0:30can protect what grows you. The number one health and
- 0:34wellness podcast, Jay Sety Jay Sety. I was stuck, confused,
- 0:43and unsuccessful until I did this. What if I told
- 0:47you that one year from today you could wake up
- 0:50as a completely different person and the only thing standing
- 0:55in the way is the way you're thinking about this year.
- 1:00Most people never change their lives, not because they're lazy,
- 1:04not because they're untalented, but because they don't understand this
- 1:08one truth. Your life doesn't change in a year. Your
- 1:14life changes in the tiny decisions you repeat for a year.
- 1:19We waste entire years waiting for motivation, waiting for clarity,
- 1:24waiting for timing, waiting for confidence, and while we wait,
- 1:29the year quietly disappears. Here's an uncomfortable statistic ninety two
- 1:35percent of people never follow through on their New year goals,
- 1:39not because they don't want to change, but because they're
- 1:42using hope as a strategy instead of a system. But
- 1:46here's the inspiring part. One year is long enough to
- 1:50transform almost anything about your life, your body, your relationships,
- 1:55your career, your self worth, your habits, your emotional health,
- 1:59if you understand the science of real change. In this episode,
- 2:04I'm going to give you a twelve month blueprint that
- 2:07has helped millions of people transform their lives, a framework
- 2:11backed by psychology research and real human stories. And I
- 2:16promise you this, By the end of these thirty minutes,
- 2:19you will no longer fear the future. You will feel
- 2:22prepared to shape it. So let's begin. Before we talk
- 2:27about how to change your life, we need to talk
- 2:29about why most people don't. It's not a lack of intelligence.
- 2:34It's not a lack of discipline, it's not a lack
- 2:37of opportunity. It's a lack of a system. Let me
- 2:42tell you a story. A friends one told me, Jay,
- 2:45I keep trying to change and nothing sticks. Sound familiar.
- 2:50He'd buy new planners, he'd download new apps, he'd watch
- 2:53motivational speeches, and every year he ended up exactly where
- 2:57he started, exhausted and confused us. He wasn't failing, His
- 3:02strategy was failing in moments of temptation only three to
- 3:06five minutes. Motivation spikes and crashes. But systems, routines, environments, structures,
- 3:15they keep going long after motivation dies. So here's the
- 3:20first truth. Your life won't change when you try harder.
- 3:25It will change when you redesign the system you live inside.
- 3:30Let's build that system together. If you want a new year,
- 3:34you need a new default. Most people try to change
- 3:38their life using motivation. Science shows your environment drives forty
- 3:43five percent of your daily behavior, almost half your life.
- 3:48Let me give you a real example. I once worked
- 3:50with someone who could never stick to a morning routine.
- 3:54She tried alarms, apps, planners. Nothing worked. Then we changed
- 3:58our environment. We've re arranged her nightstand. We moved her
- 4:02phone to another room. We put her journal where her
- 4:05phone used to be. We laid out her gym clothes
- 4:08the night before, right next to her bed. We simplified
- 4:12her kitchen counter. Suddenly her identity matched her environment. She
- 4:18didn't become a disciplined person. She became a supported person.
- 4:24Here's what I want you to do. Here are some
- 4:25actionable steps for this year. Number one, redesign your morning
- 4:30and night anchors. These two thirty minute windows shape your
- 4:35entire day. If you understand this one thing, you can
- 4:40build discipline. Make the things you need easy to find,
- 4:45and make the things you don't want hard to find.
- 4:49You want to work out in the morning, make sure
- 4:51your gym clothes are easy to find. You don't want
- 4:53to have a midnight stack. Make sure those chips are
- 4:57hard to find. This leads us to number two. Remove
- 5:00friction from good habits. Make good habits easier than bad ones.
- 5:07So many of us make good habits hard to do.
- 5:10We make it hard to stay healthy because our snack
- 5:13drawers are full of bad snacks. We make it harder
- 5:16to work out because we subscribe to a gym that's
- 5:19thirty minutes away. We make it harder to be focused
- 5:24on our work because our desk is full of clutter.
- 5:27Number three upgrade your identity. Don't ask what goal do
- 5:32I want? We all go what gold do I want?
- 5:35Here's what I want you to ask instead, who do
- 5:37I want to become? It's not about the goal It's
- 5:41about the growth you're willing to undertake in order to
- 5:45achieve the goal. Success is quiet mornings, late nights, and
- 5:50one hundred almost before one yes. Success is choosing discipline
- 5:56on the day's motivation doesn't show up. Success is doing
- 6:00the work when no one's watching and no one's clapping.
- 6:04Success is walking away from what drains you so you
- 6:08can protect what grows you. Success is being patient with
- 6:12the process even when the results are late. Success is
- 6:16becoming the person your future requires, not the person your
- 6:21past expects. Here's the second truth. A year equals four
- 6:27seasons of learning. A year is long enough to learn
- 6:30a skill that can reroot your entire life, not a hobby.
- 6:35A skill skills change identity. Skills build confidence, skills increase opportunity.
- 6:42Skills compound statistic show learning a new skill reduces anxiety
- 6:48and depression by up to thirty four percent. Add out
- 6:52to engage in continuous learning reports significantly higher life satisfaction.
- 6:58Let me tell you a story. Once told me she
- 7:01felt stuck in her job and stuck in her identity.
- 7:05We made one shift. She committed to learning public speaking
- 7:10twenty minutes a day, just twenty minutes one year later,
- 7:14she was leading meetings, pitching ideas confidently, and interviewing for
- 7:19a promotion. The skill didn't just change your career, it
- 7:23changed herself perception. So here are practical choices that you
- 7:27can make this year. Pick one of these and master it.
- 7:31Public speaking, emotional regulation, networking, mindfulness, creative writing, financial literacy,
- 7:39communication skill. One skill can create ten opportunities. I think
- 7:46about all the skills I invest in every single year
- 7:49and how they've transformed my life. If you want to
- 7:52change your life in a year, learning one skill could
- 7:56help you accelerate and transform your tradress in ways nothing
- 8:01else could. Here's what I recommend. Do what I call
- 8:05immersion weekends. Spend a whole weekend attending courses, seminars, reading books,
- 8:12listening to podcasts about that subject. You will know very
- 8:16quickly what you want to invest in and what you
- 8:19want to spend more time on. Here's the truth. One
- 8:23decision can separate who you were from who you're becoming.
- 8:28One decision can end an old chapter and begin a
- 8:32better one. One decision can change your confidence forever, and
- 8:37one decision can rewrite your entire story. All it takes
- 8:43is one decision. Truth number three. Fix the relationships that matter,
- 8:51because connection equals quality of life. The Harvard Study of
- 8:55Adult Development, conducted by Robert Waldinger, who I've had the
- 8:59honor of viewing on on purpose twice, this is the
- 9:03longest happiness study ever done, found the quality of your
- 9:07relationships is the strongest predictor of your future wellbeing. Your
- 9:13life doesn't change alone. Your life changes through better conversations,
- 9:19better boundaries, and deeper connections. So here's what I want
- 9:23you to do in twenty twenty six. Repair one relationship
- 9:27this year that matters. Release one draining connection that has expired.
- 9:35Deepen one meaningful bond for more support. Schedule one weekly
- 9:41connection ritual. Here's the harsh truth. Loneliness is not the
- 9:47absence of people. It's the absence of understanding. Loneliness is
- 9:52not the absence of company. It's being surrounded and still
- 9:56feeling unseen. Loneliness is not the absence of conversation. It's
- 10:01talking without ever being heard. Loneliness is not the absence
- 10:06of relationships, it's the absence of someone you can be
- 10:09honest with. Loneliness is not the absence of someone, it's
- 10:14the absence of safety. Ask yourself which relationship is worth
- 10:21improving or which ones do you need to distance from?
- 10:25Which relationship would have the greatest positive benefit in your
- 10:30life if you invested in it more. Here are four
- 10:35questions that will change your relationships. Who do you need
- 10:39to call more? Who do you need to talk to less?
- 10:43Who do you want to spend time with? Who do
- 10:46you need to distance from? If you focused on transforming
- 10:50your relationships this year, it will transform your life. You
- 10:55know what truly holds you back. Relationships that drain you.
- 11:00People who misunderstand you no matter how clearly you speak.
- 11:05Conversations that take energy but give none back. Connections that
- 11:10make you doubt yourself instead of support yourself. It's not
- 11:15your potential that's limited. It's the people who keep pulling
- 11:19you backwards while you're trying to push forward. Take an
- 11:24inventory of the people in your life this year. You
- 11:28don't have to make big changes. You don't have to
- 11:31just cut people out, but recognize what would move the
- 11:35needle and give it some time and energy. Truth number four.
- 11:40Fear becomes bigger the further you stand from it. Fear
- 11:45becomes smaller the closer you move toward it. Action reduces anxiety,
- 11:52avoidance amplifies it. Here are some practical steps for this year.
- 11:57Create a fear list instead of a to do list. Right,
- 12:00we all make to do lists, but I want you
- 12:02to make a fear list. Break each fear into five
- 12:06micro actions, and then I want you to reward action,
- 12:10not outcome. Because here's the mistake we make. You don't
- 12:14have to overcome fear before you do something. You have
- 12:18to do the thing whilst you're still feeling the fear.
- 12:21You don't get over your fear then start a business.
- 12:24You start a business, feel scared, nervous and anxious, and
- 12:28still move forward. What the fear list does is it
- 12:32makes you face what you're actually struggling with. The reason
- 12:36you don't do your to do list is because you're scared.
- 12:39The reason you cancel that meeting is because you're scared.
- 12:42The reason you don't send your resume is because you're scared.
- 12:46The reason you don't ask for a promotion is because
- 12:48you're scared. We're so scared of rejection, we're so scared
- 12:52of failing, that we don't take action before we can
- 12:55remove that feeling. What we don't realize is that life
- 12:59is all about doing things even with the feelings that
- 13:03you think are holding you back. Please don't let your
- 13:07fears ruin your future. Please don't let your fears keep
- 13:12you stuck in places you've already outgrown. Please don't let
- 13:16your fears make you walk away from something good before
- 13:21you've even tried. Please don't let your fears turn temporary
- 13:25uncertainty into a lifetime of regret. And please don't let
- 13:30your fears talk you out of the future you know
- 13:33you deserve. It's fascinating to me how many of us
- 13:38set goals and don't meet them, not because the goals
- 13:42aren't right, but because we haven't addressed the fear. If
- 13:47we don't face our fears, we can't move forward toward
- 13:51our goals. So instead of just looking at your goals
- 13:53every year and wondering why you're not there yet, make
- 13:57this the year you face your fears, address them, focus
- 14:00on them, break through them by taking action even when
- 14:04they exist. One of my favorite quotes that I've ever
- 14:08heard is, if you feel afraid, do it afraid. If
- 14:14you feel scared, do it scared. If you feel anxious,
- 14:20do it anxious. And if you feel nervous, do it nervous.
- 14:26It's better to do the thing even feeling that way,
- 14:31than to hope you will get over that feeling so
- 14:34you can finally start Truth Number six, the power of service.
- 14:40Service isn't just charity. Service is identity, it's meaning. It's medicine.
- 14:48Neuroscience shows that helping others activates the brain's reward pathways,
- 14:54the same circuits that light up for purpose and joy.
- 14:58There's even studies that show them when people are experiencing depression.
- 15:01If they help others with depression, theirs goes down. So
- 15:05sometimes we also say to ourselves, I'll help when I
- 15:08have more, not realizing you'll have more if you help now.
- 15:13If you help someone now, you feel great a self esteem.
- 15:17You count your blessings. You realize what skills you have.
- 15:21I learned about the skills and talents I have because
- 15:24I started using things in the service of others, even
- 15:28before I knew I had them. Here are some practical
- 15:31ways you can do that. You could volunteer one hour
- 15:34a week. You could help one person quietly. You could
- 15:38use your skills for someone else's benefit or the community.
- 15:42Pick one issue you worry about and get involved. If
- 15:46you want to change your life, change someone else's day.
- 15:51If you want to change your year, change someone else's week.
- 15:57If you want to change your month, change someone else's hour.
- 16:04You can transform your life by transforming someone else's. So
- 16:09here's your year. Redesigned. Break your year into four ninety
- 16:14day seasons. Season one Reset Redesign your environment and your habits.
- 16:21Season two Learn master two skills that change your confidence
- 16:26and direction. Promise you will make a big difference. Season
- 16:30three Connect, Repair, deepen, and rebuild relationships. Season four Expand,
- 16:37Face fears, take risks, and create something new. You don't
- 16:41have to do everything I said in one season. A
- 16:43year as four seasons. You don't see the weather trying
- 16:47to snow, rain, sunshine, and everything else all in one day.
- 16:52That's not what the climate tries to do. Move in seasons.
- 16:57Remember this, A year is an three hundred and sixty
- 17:01five days. It's fifty two chances, twelve chapters, and four seasons.
- 17:08Your life can change this year, not because the year
- 17:12is magical, but because you are capable. You don't need
- 17:16a perfect plan, you don't need certainty, you don't need confidence.
- 17:21You need momentum. You need one decision, you need one step,
- 17:25and you need to remember this. One year of intention
- 17:30can undo ten years of drifting. So choose one thing today,
- 17:37one habit, one relationship, one skill, one decision, one fear,
- 17:42one active service, and just start. A year from now,
- 17:48you will look back and barely recognize the person you
- 17:52used to be because your life doesn't change some day,
- 17:57it changes the day that you just start. The insight
- 18:01and advice that I've shared with you today will truly
- 18:05make a difference. I've had the fortune of having incredible
- 18:08years in my life where I have changed my life
- 18:11in a year, And when you look at it that way,
- 18:14you actually give yourself the opportunity to transform. Sometimes we
- 18:18want to change our life in a day. We want
- 18:20to change our life in a month. Give yourself a
- 18:24year this year to really make a difference. See, we
- 18:28think consistency looks like this. Real consistency looks like this.
- 18:34Right If you think to yourself, I'm going to work
- 18:37out five days a week every week for the rest
- 18:38of the year. The one week where you only do
- 18:41three days, you'll feel like a failure. So what do
- 18:44you do? You recognize five's the average. There'll be some
- 18:48weeks you do seven. There'll be some weeks you do three.
- 18:51There'll be some weeks you do four, and there'll be
- 18:52some weeks you do six. When you give yourself that
- 18:56flexibility and adaptability to hit the average, not the ideal,
- 19:00every single week, you finally give yourself an opportunity to
- 19:05make a huge difference. I've seen so many people try
- 19:11to put too much pressure on themselves. I've seen so
- 19:14many people who've been so harsh to themselves. If you
- 19:18really want this year to be the year that everything changes,
- 19:24follow these steps, stay accountable, Find someone you can share
- 19:29these goals with, and move forward together. Your goal doesn't
- 19:33get you to the goal. It's the growth that gets
- 19:37you to the goal. How are you willing to grow?
- 19:40Who are you willing to become? What are you willing
- 19:42to change? If you focus on transformation over the destination,
- 19:48you will get there quicker. Often we keep looking at
- 19:52the goal and thinking it's so far away, it's so
- 19:54hard to get there. I don't know when it's going
- 19:55to happen. If we just focused on the next step,
- 20:00the next step forward, just one step at a time,
- 20:04you'll be at the destination in no time. Please know
- 20:08that you can change your life in a year by
- 20:11changing the few things that I laid out and remember
- 20:15and forever in your corner. I'm always rooting for you
- 20:18and I wish you all the best. Thank you so
- 20:21much for watching this video. I'm so grateful for your support.
- 20:25Twenty twenty six is going to be the best year. Yeah.
- 20:27I want you to subscribe to my channel so you
- 20:30never miss a video. Thank you so much for listening
- 20:33to this conversation. If you enjoyed it, you'll love my
- 20:36chat with Adam Grant on why discomfort is the key
- 20:40to growth and the strategies for unlocking your hidden potential.
- 20:45If you know you want to be more and achieve
- 20:47more this year, go check it out right now. You
- 20:50set a goal today, you achieve it in six months,
- 20:53and then by the time it happens, it's almost a relief.
- 20:56There's no sense of meaning and purpose. You sort of
- 20:58expected it, and you would have been just pointed if
- 21:00it didn't happen.